Reese Witherspoon and Angelina Jolie are blessing us all by making the rounds on magazine covers and talk shows this December because both have new movies out. Jolie’s movie The Tourist, co-starring Johnny Depp, opened this past weekend to bad reviews and a poor box office showing. Reese Witherspoon’s new movie How Do You Know, co-starring the incredible trio of Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson, and Jack Nicholson, opens this week. It doesn’t have a score on Rotten Tomatoes yet, but with a cast like that I’m expecting it to be a pretty good flick.
It occurred to me that Witherspoon v Jolie would make for a pretty good face off. In the past, we’ve done Natalie Portman v Mila Kunis, Anne Hathaway v Rachel McAdams, and Sofia Vergara v Julie Bowen. Reese v Angelina is much like Vergara v Bowen because we are looking at women in their 30s who already have kids but still look ridiculously good, plus there is a distinct contrast of styles: blonde v brunette; cute v sexy; hot soccer mom v blood-drinking, foreign-child-adopting home wrecker. (Well, it’s true!)
As I always do in these face off posts, I give you the opportunity to vote and provide your comments after viewing a gallery of hand-selected photos of these two gorgeous women. And I am leaving the voting criteria vague on purpose.
Who is it going to be guys: the 35-year old Angelina Jolie (left) or the 34-year old Reese Witherspoon (right)?
Here is your gallery of Angelina Jolie and Reese Witherspoon pics if you need to examine some evidence before voting.
I decided to put my vote at the end this time, so as not to sway anyone who may be on the fence, a place I am decidedly not.
I go Reese Witherspoon all the way. I’ve loved her since the movie Fear came out and all she has done since is make good movie after good movie, most notably the classic Election. Even the should-be-annoying romantic comedies that she is in almost always end up being enjoyable. She’s talented, classy, intelligent, and beautiful. As her career matures, I think she’ll end up being to my generation what Meryl Streep is to the previous generation.
Plus, my girlfriend is a huge Reese Witherspoon fan, and, well, it helps me to get in less trouble for posting these Face Off posts (“you’re objectifying women!”) when I cast my vote for who she’d cast hers for.
As for Jolie, the truth is I’ve just never been a huge fan. Sure, I can recognize her attractiveness, but there is also something about her that scares the bejesus out of me. Tyler Durden? Yeah, I’m sure he can handle it. Me? I wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like that, and there is a good chance I would just melt into a pile of terrified of putty if I were ever alone in a room with her…assuming I didn’t just run kicking and screaming first.
Nope, I’d take Reese Witherspoon…and just hope to God that her character in Election, the joyless Tracey Flick, is not a close approximation of how she is in real life.