I love watching TV, especially sports on TV, but nothing is worse than terrible commercials.
I am talking about commercials that are so bad you want the company to go out of business just so they will stop airing them.
Lately, commercials have seemed to get worse and worse. Someone needs to put these misguided companies in their place.
That’s where I come in.
I am going to look at some of the worst commercials that are on TV now, to highlight the worst of the worst and do my part to shame these companies into not spending millions to air this annoying drivel.
These commercials are in no particular order of crappiness.
Mr. Opportunity from the Honda Commercials
This creepy cartoon Honda salesman tries to conceives us that opportunity is knocking and we need to buy the newest Honda now.
Or we can wait 3 months for when he shows up again.
Another thing that creeps me out is that he is a cartoon character and he interacts with humans and nobody notices or freaks out about it.
Honda couldn’t get a real actor for the part? Or did all of them realize that they would be called Mr. Opportunity for the rest of their lives if they took the job?
The worst one is his new commercial. (Sorry no video…but you can watch this annoying one). It show him dancing in a night club doing this limp wrist John Wall Dance. Then later he notices he looks like an idiot so he yells out that he is doing the “Knock”.
Let’s just move on.
Miller Light Wedding Gift Registry
In this one, a couple are at a store registering for wedding gifts. The wife is very overexcited picking out gifts, while the man is…not so much. She leaves lets him pick out something more his taste. And what does he see?
A giant pile of Miller Light. So he decides to register every Miller Light 24 pack there.
Then on his wedding day his angry wife realizes that most of the gifts are Miller Light. UH OH!!! Someone is in the doghouse.
I am worried for the safety of the wife in that relationship. Did you see how much beer there was? This man is going to be drunk 24/7. Only bad things can happen in that situation.
Also how much extra money are they going to have to spend to buy all the essential household appliances they need. A Lynn’s Fine China 49-Piece Dinner Set cost $135 dollars. You can’t eat off a Miller Lite cardboard box.
I give the marriage 5 months.
Justin Case’s SafeAuto Commercials
Justin Case is a SafeAuto insurance agent who . . . wait a second! Something sounds unusual about that name Justin Case . . . Just in Case.
Oh I get it, it’s like “just in case something terrible happens on the road” then you have car insurance.
Ha get it? It’s a play on words. Hilarious.
In this commercial Lady Rerun (Who is the daughter of Rerun from What’s Happening) is winner of the 2010 DoTheJingle.com contest.
She starts off talking about how great SafeAuto and Justin Case is. Then she asked if they can dance too. Unfortunately no one here can dance.
Lady Rerun starts off with this unorthodox hand phone, then she switches to a self bear hug. Then Justin Case comes out dressed like Michael Jackson, which is weird because this commercial aired like 5 months after the King of Pedophile’s death, way after people pretended like they cared about him.
Justin dances like a white 5th grader in 1987 trying to show off this MJ moves to impress the 6th grade girls. Lady Rerun is somehow really impressed, so much so that she yells out “OH CRAP!”. They couldn’t think of anything better then “Oh Crap” to say, or did Lady Rerun just mad lib it?
Also, the contest was DoTheJingle.com but there was never any jingle. There was just a techno beat and someone singing “SafeAuto . . . SafeAuto”.
Here it is in its entirety.
Coors Light Cold Activating Bottles
Beer commercials do this all the time: they market new innovations that don’t make a difference at all. All the cold activated bottles do is save you the 5 seconds it takes to reach down and pick up the bottle.
Plus, there isn’t a difference in taste between 46 degrees and 34 degrees? They’re both cold.
Another example of this is the Miller Light Vortex Bottle. Do groves in a bottle make any difference?
Here is the commercial, then let’s just move on.
Flo From Progressive
By far the worst commercial on TV. She isn’t funny, she isn’t attractive, she is just really awkward and annoying. She also may be the palest person on the planet and her voice sounds like if nails scratching on a chalkboard and a vuvuzela had a child.
Her name is horrible too. “Flo” is the least attractive name in the English language, just barely beating out Tori Spelling.
I don’t even want to post a video because I fear for your sanity. Plus just look at that face; when she actually talks you just want to do whatever it takes to shut her up.
But since this is the top spot (or is it the bottom?) in our list, I feel compelled to post one video so you can truly understand what I’m describing. (And if by some benevolent act of divine intervention you haven’t seen this commercial yet, do not watch the following video. Thank your lucky stars that you’ve been spared and just move on.)
Most of the commercials will have this price board that compares other insurance companies’ prices to Progressive’s. Progressive’s is always an unbelievable low price like $170 dollars while Nationwide is like $675 dollars. I don’t find that to be a very believable quote.
But what puts her at number #1 is her radio commercials are atrocious too. The only positive is you don’t have to see her face.
Well that’s all the horrible commercials I can put up with if. If there was any you thought I missed just leave a comment below.
Email me at email@example.com. Follow me on Twitter @OndaMSF.