Rhianna Does What Browns Should Have Done in 2005: Reject Braylon

Speaking metaphorically, one could describe the 2005 pre-draft process by saying that Braylon Edwards and his agent sent a bottle of champagne to the Browns’ table, which the organization accepted by way of drafting him.

Now Browns fans are left to wonder why their franchise couldn’t have had the foresight and good judgment of Rhianna.

According to The New York Post, Rhianna recently rejected similar bubbly overtures from Browns fans’ favorite butter-fingered wide receiver:


Rihanna doesn’t take bubbly from strangers. While hanging out with a gaggle of assistants and singer James Blount at a party thrown by Vegas nightclub The Bank at Wonderland in LA, the songstress was sent a $10,000 bottle of Champagne by Jets receiver Braylon Edwards and a handful of his teammates, who were at a nearby table.

(hat tip to Sports by Brooks)

The story goes on to say that Rhianna didn’t know who Edwards and his friends were, which is why she sent the champagne back.

What, she hasn’t been tuning in to the D CBS game on Sundays to watch Braylon treat footballs like a hot potato?

Truth is, she was probably too busy craning her neck around the club looking for LeBron. I realize I may get punched in the face for saying that, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

According to the Post story, Braylon’s rep says that he later introduced himself and that “all was well.” I guess we’ll have to take his rep’s word for it.

Based on her judgment in this incident alone, I think Randy Lerner should interview her for the vacant GM position. I bet if DeMarcus Ware (available in 2005 when Cleveland took Edwards) had sent over some champagne, she would have accepted.

Okay…maybe, maybe not.

What is clear is that I am now drawing out this metaphor much further than it needs to be drawn. The point of the story is that G.Q. Edwards got shot down and grudge-holding, Buckeye-loving Cleveland fans everywhere will delight in the story.

During a 1-7 season (and after a loss to BYE no less!) there isn’t much to make Browns fans smile.

Thank you Braylon for doing now what you couldn’t do (other than 2007) while you were a Brown.


* – Braylon Edwards photo credit: FansPortal.net

* – Rhianna photo credit: ThinkEmpire.com

About the Author

Jerod Morris

I love words. I write for Copyblogger and founded MSF, The Assembly Call, & Primility. I practice yoga, eat well, & strive for balance. I love life. Namaste. Say hi on Twitter, Facebook, & G+.