Update: The Week 3 Start Em, Sit Em lineup advice and projections post is up.

I am nothing if not accountable, and I come to you a humbled man this week. I let you and myself down with start ‘em, sit ‘em advice that left much to be desired in Week 1.

Here is the Week 1 start ‘em, sit ‘em column if you’d like to review, but I’ll lay out the hits and misses right here for you. 

• Start ‘em hits: Vernon Davis…barely, in a PPR league…maybe? (5 catches, 40 yards)
• Start ‘em misses: David Garrard (122 yds, 0 TDs); Willie Parker (19 yds, 0 TDs); Braylon Edwards (1 rec, 13 yds, 0TDs); New England D/ST (24 points allowed, 1 turnover)
• Sit ‘em hits: Matt Schaub (166 yds, 0TDs); Chris Johnson & LenDale White (8.6 fantasy points combined); Miami D/ST (19 points allowed, 0 turnovers)
• Sit ‘em misses: Roy Williams (3 rec, 86 yds, 1 TD); Kellen Winslow (5 rec, 30 yds, 1 TD)

So, not a great start. 

In fact, the results of my Week 1 start ‘em, sit ‘em lineup advice reminds me a little bit of the Carolina Panthers…with me playing the role of Jake Delhomme: high hopes, big expectations…and then a depressing thud as interceptions get fired all over the field.

But, in my defense, in the “others” category for start ‘em I did nail all of the three QBs listed — Hasselbeck, Flacco, and Shaun Hill, plus I recommended Julius Jones. And I told you to sit Steve Slaton! That should count for something right?

Umm…no.

We’re all about results here. Like fantasy football, it’s about touchdowns (or LOTS of yards) and I did not get into the endzone enough last week with my primary start ‘em, sit ‘em recommendations at each position. But what we love about sports is that there is always next week…so I am looking forward to Week 2.

I’m here to rebound, both for you and for myself, to avoid the dreaded 0-2 start. And no, I will not give into the temptation to pick obvious ones (start Adrian Peterson against Detroit!) just to pad my stats.

Let’s get right to it.

Fantasy Football

Week 2 Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em Lineup Advice

Week 2 Start ‘Em – Sit ‘Em: Quarterbacks

Start ‘Em: Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears (vs Pittsburgh Steelers)

What, am I crazy? Start the guy who had 4 picks on national TV last week against the defending champs and their suffocating defense this week?

I say yes, and there is one primary reason why: no Troy Polamalu.

The lynchpin of the Steelers’ secondary is out with a sprained MCL, which will make Pittsburgh’s D more susceptible to the pass and less dangerous overall. Granted, the Bears’ WR corps leaves a lot to be desired, but I think the determination of Jay Cutler will overcome that.

Cutler may be a bit of a whiny douche, but he’s a very talented and prideful player. He also did not complete a pass to RB Matt Forte in Week 1, and only a single one to TE Greg Olsen, which I have to think will change after taking a look at the film.

The Bears are at home and will do everything to avoid going 0-2. I’m not sold on Cutler as a consistent fantasy starter throughout the season, but I do like him this week despite the matchup.

Others I like: Jason Campbell, Washington (vs St. Louis); Trent Edwards, Buffalo (vs Tampa Bay)

Sit ‘Em: Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts (@ Miami Dolphins)

Let me guess what you are probably thinking right now: this idiot is recommending Jay Cutler as a start against Pittsburgh and Peyton Manning as a guy you should sit? Is he insane?

Well, perhaps.

But I don’t think so in this particular case for this particular week.

Courtesy of Stats Inc. (via Yahoo Sports), Peyton Manning has thrown for 16 TDs and 18 INTs lifetime against the Dolphins. Now, clearly that stat line spans a decade and many different coaches and players for the Dolphins. But considering that Manning will be going into a hornet’s nest (on the road in Miami, home opener for Dolphins, Monday night, team coming off of a bad loss and looking for redemption, etc.) and will not have Anthony Gonzalez, I’m not all that optimistic about his chances.

The Colts offense is becoming a little worrisome. They could not establish a consistent ground attack in Week 1 against Jacksonville, which they need for Manning’s play-action to be effective. Miami, despite its struggles to contain Matt Ryan, did an effective job of limiting the Falcons’ powerful ground attack last Sunday (3.0 yards per carry for Michael Turner). 

I think an emotional Dolphins’ D bottles up Manning and the Colts offense, at least enough that he is limited to one TD pass and harassed into a turnover or two. If you have a decent backup for Manning, this might be a good week to use him.

Others I don’t like: Carson Palmer, Cincinnati (@ Green Bay)

Week 2 Start ‘Em – Sit ‘Em: Running Backs:

Start ‘Em: Ahmad Bradshaw, New York Giants (@ Dallas Cowboys)

I liked Ahmad Bradshaw before the season started because he was stepping into a big void of opportunity left by the departure of Derrick Ward. After one game the returns are pretty solid, and I think his matchup on Sunday night against the Cowboys is a good one.

First off, Bradshaw got 12 carries against the Redskins last week, so we can see that some touches will be there. He also carried for 60 yards, a 5.0 yard average, against a pretty good run defense. Plus, he added 3 receptions, to get his total touches up to 15. All in all, a solid first week effort for Bradshaw against a good defense.

With the injury to Danny Ware, the Giants have announced that Bradshaw will be handling kickoff return duties this week, which should net him a few more touches and some extra all-purpose yards against a Cowboys’ special teams unit that was been a pretty significant question mark this offseason.

Most importantly, Bradshaw and the Giants are going up against a defense that is pretty adept at rushing the passer but not quite so adept at stopping the run. Last week, despite being behind most of the game and losing, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers torched the Cowboys on the ground over 160 yards and a pretty hefty per carry average. Cadillac Williams ran for 97 yards on 13 carries and scored a TD, while Derrick Ward ran for 62 yards on 12 carries and also scored.

The Jacobs-Bradshaw combo is just as good and they have a better O-Line than Tampa. I actually like the Cowboys to win this game, but I think the Giants will be able to get some work done on the ground. We certainly know that they will be committed to doing so.

You already know you’re starting Brandon Jacobs, but I wouldn’t hesitate to throw Bradshaw in there as a flex. This a good matchup for him.

Others I like: Thomas Jones, New York Jets (vs New England); Mike Bell, New Orleans (@ Philadelphia…but check on Pierre Thomas throughout the week.)

Sit ‘Em: Julius Jones, Seattle (@ San Francisco)

Yes, Julius Jones had a good game last week, but there are a few things you need to remember:

1. He’s Julius Jones.
2. The Seahawks were playing the Rams last week.
3. The 49ers are coached by Mike Singletary.

If Seattle is going to win this game, they are going to have to do it through the air. I think San Francisco has a chance to have a pretty stout run defense this year, and they gave a glimpse of it last week by bottling up Tim Hightower and Beanie Wells in Arizona. Granted, Tim Hightower had 12 receptions out of the backfield against them, but Jones has never been a guy to catch a lot of passes out of the backfield.

Enjoy it when Julius plays teams like the Rams; otherwise, remember who he is and consider his track record. The 49ers are an up-and-coming team that will be fired up for their home opener. I think Matt Hasselbeck will have to win this one with his arm if the Seahawks are to come into San Fran and get a W.

Others I don’t like: Cedric Benson, Cincinnati (@ Green Bay); Steve Slaton, Houston (@ Tennessee); Kevin Smith, Detroit (@ Minnesota)

Week 2 Start ‘Em – Sit ‘Em: Wide Receivers:

Start ‘Em: Terrell Owens, Buffalo (vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

He only had two catches on three targets Monday night, and he’s coming off a toe injury that sidelined him most of the preseason. If you’re a little bit skittish about T.O. right now, you’re well within your right to be so.

But I wouldn’t be skittish about starting him this week against Tampa Bay. And the truth is, you probably spent a high draft pick on T.O. so you may not have any other choice but to start him. (Don’t worry, I’m not taking the easy way out in the WR Sit ‘Em to balance out recommending T.O.)

Trent Edwards and the Bills proved, somewhat surprisingly, that they can move the ball on offense with their performance against the Patriots. And remember that Bill Belichick’s defensive strategy is usually to try to take away the opposing team’s #1 threat. The Patriots did that by doubling and bottling up T.O.

Buffalo plays Tampa Bay last week, which got absolutely shredded by Tony Romo and his trio of WRs last week. I don’t think Buffalo will have that much success against the Bucs, but they’ll get some work done through the air.

And after only being targeted three times in Week 1, you know T.O. will be both motivated and vocal about the need to get him the rock.

His huge games will be fewer and further between this season, but I think this is one of them. 

Others I like: Desean Jackson, Philadelphia (vs New Orleans); Brandon Marshall, Denver (vs Cleveland); Percy Harvin, Minnesota (@ Deroit); 

Sit ‘Em: Dwayne Bowe, Kansas City (vs Oakland)

As with T.O., you probably have to start Dwayne Bowe because of where you drafted him. If you have no other options, keep Bowe in the lineup because you have to and he will get his fair share of targets.

But if you’re stacked at WR, this could be a week when Bowe hits your bench as he will be matched up with Nnamdi Asomugha, against whom Bowe has yet to catch a TD pass in his career. Last year, Bowe had 8 catches for 117 yards in two games against Oakland. As a rookie, he had 7 catches for 147 yards.

The weakness of the Oakland defense is their ability to stop the run, although they were more effective than expected in Week 1 against San Diego. And while Philip Rivers completed 24 passes for 252 yards on Monday night, look a little deeper: only 11 of the completions were to WRs, the rest went to RBs and TEs.

There is also flux at the QB position in Kansas City, as well as an entire team getting used to a new offensive system. Bowe had 4 catches and a TD last week with Brodie Croyle at QB, but only tallied 40 yards. Who will be starting this week? Matt Cassel? Croyle?

There are enough question marks surrounding Bowe this week that I’d be wary. He may still garner 5-6 fantasy points because he could accumulate a few catches and some yards, but don’t expect big numbers. 

Others I don’t like: Laveraneus Coles, Cincinnati (@ Green Bay); Donald Driver, Green Bay (vs Cincinnati); 

Week 2 Start ‘Em – Sit ‘Em: Tight Ends:

Start ‘Em: Robert Royal, Cleveland Browns (@ Denver)

If you watched the Browns-Vikings game on Sunday, you noticed a few things:

1. Brady Quinn often had time to throw, but there rarely appeared to be WRs open down the field.
2. Quinn and Braylon Edwards simply are not on the same page yet.
3. Quinn looked in the direction of TE Robert Royal a lot.

In fact, Quinn targeted Royal nine times on Sunday, resulting in four catches, 60 yards, a TD for Royal. With the Browns’ WR corps likely to continue to struggle, and with Quinn’s well-known deficiencies throwing the ball deep down the field, I think Quinn will again be looking at Royal early and often.

Denver did do a nice job of shutting down the Cincinnati tight ends last week, but the Bengals rarely involve their TE anyway so I don’t read too much into that.

The targets for Royal are not going to stop. If you are unsettled at tight end, he could be a solid play through at least the first few weeks of the season, until Brady Quinn can get more comfortable throwing the ball down the field to Braylon and the Browns’ other WRs.

Others I like: Brent Celek, Philadelphia (vs New Orleans); Kellen Winslow, Tampa Bay (@ Buffalo); Kevin Boss, New York Giants (@ Dallas)

Sit ‘Em: Jeremy Shockey, New Orleans (@ Philadelphia)

Yes, Shockey caught 2 TD passes last week and is a part of the best offense in the league, so it’s hard to sit him. But his entire value from last week is wrapped up in those TD catches (he had only 4 catches for 31 yards), which are hard to predict and expect from week to week.

Add to that the fact that the Saints are playing a much better defense this week in Philadelphia, and one that is very familiar with Shockey from his days in New York, and I think we could see a reversion to the no-TD Shockey that we became accustomed to during his first season with New Orleans.

And what do you trust more: a 16-game schedule during which he caught no TDs, or one game against a team that’s lost 18 in a row in which he caught two?

I thought so.

With Marques Colston, Lance Moore, Devery Henderson, and Robert Meachem all more dynamic downfield playmakers than Shockey, he is the fifth option when Drew Brees drops back to pass. Shockey fattened up against the porous Lions, but this week the law of averages pulls his fantasy numbers back to what we’ve come to expect from him.

Others I don’t like: Owen Daniels, Houston (@ Tennessee); Daniel Graham and Tony Scheffler, Denver (vs Cleveland)

Week 2 Start ‘Em – Sit ‘Em Defense/Special Teams:

Start ‘Em: Green Bay Packers D/ST (vs Cincinnati)

How can you not like the Packers’ D right now? They stifled the Bears in Week 1 and goaded Jay Cutler into 4 interceptions. They also have players like Charles Woodson and Al Harris who are always threats to take one to the house.

The real key, however, is the Packers’ improvement in the front 7 and their ability to stop the run. In Week 1, the Pack held Bears phenom Matt Forte to 55 yards rushing and nada out of the backfield as a receiver.

Cincinnati comes into Green Bay with a far less accomplished and dynamic running back in Cedric Benson. They also have a passing game that struggled against Denver in Week 1 and still looks as if it needs time to get in sync with Carson Palmer back under center and no T.J. Houshmandzadeh on the outside.

I think Chad Ochocinco will get his on Sunday, but that’s about it. Green Bay is one of the emerging contenders in the NFC and they’ll play like it at home against the Bengals.

Others I like: New England Patriots (@ New York Jets); Washington Redskins (vs St. Louis)

Sit ‘Em: Philadelphia Eagles D/ST (vs New Orleans)

This one is all about the matchup.

Philadelphia has a very good defense, forced lots of turnovers last week against Carolina, and will be a solid start most weeks. This week, however, they face the Saints’ juggernaut. And until the Saints and Drew Brees provide a reason to doubt them, I’m sitting any defense that plays against them.

With Troy Polamalu out for Pittsburgh right now, there is no unit in the NFL that I trust more than the Saints’ offense. Sorry Philly.

Others I don’t like: New York Jets (vs New England); Baltimore Ravens (@ San Diego)

It’s early in the week, so obviously injuries could wreak havoc on these predictions, but I’ll update this post if anything pertinent happens. As always, feel free to submit any lineup questions you may have in the comment section and I’ll answer them as soon as I’m able.

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* – Jay Cutler photo credit: Bleacher Report

* – Jeremy Shockey photo credit: Ted Jackson / The Times-Picayune via Nola.com

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• Check out Sadler’s Monday Night Football Recipe of the Week:  Sadler’s Smokehouse Brisket Nachos

And now, on with the preview of this week’s Bills-Patriots matchup on Monday Night Football. You can also view MSF’s preview and prediction for the Chargers-Raiders MNF game on immediately after the Patriots-Bills game.

Monday Night Football Week 1 Preview

Buffalo Bills (0-0) at New England Patriots (0-0)

Before we dive into analyzing the details of the first Monday Night Football game of 2009, here are the particulars to get you ready for kickoff:

• Bills-Patriots Date: Monday, September 14th
• Bills-Patriots TV & Kickoff Time: 7:00 ET on ESPN
• Bills-Patriots Location: Gillette Stadium in Foxboro
• Bills-Patriots Announcers: Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, and Jon Gruden
• Bills-Patriots Point Spread: NE -10.5
• Bills-Patriots Over-Under: 47.5
• StubHub: Patriots-Bills MNF tickets as low as $95
• StubHub: all 2009 New England Patriots tickets
• StubHub: all 2009 Buffalo Bills tickets
• StubHub: all 2009 NFL tickets

Patriots-Bills Analysis

Trent Edwards and the Bills offense is the big question mark on the shores of Lake Ontario. [Editor's note: We meant Lake Erie. Thanks to the commenter who pointed this out.] Last year, people said that Edwards didn’t have the right personnel around him, but now that they’ve added Terell Owens, does Edwards still have any excuses?

Unfortunately, he probably does, as the new receiver does not solve the Bills’ offensive line issues.

Therefore, Buffalo’s potential season-long question might be — along with the usual questions of T.O. co-existing with his quarterback — will Edwards prosper even with Owens when he still has very little time to throw?

And will Owens “accept” a team that can’t produce consistently on offense?

Oh, and mixed into all this uncertaintly, how will budding star Lee Evans accept being relegated to a secondary role?

To compound that, the team has other self-inflicted hurdles: their offensive coordinator Turk Schoenert was fired during the pre-season; Owens’ toe is nicked up; and, 1,000-yard running back Marshawn Lynch is suspended through the end of September.

So, while the Bills may prove decent as the season moves along, a prime-time game versus Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Wes Welker and a Patriot team juiced up after a playoff-less season is not the ideal opener.

Something that could help out the Bills would be the Patriots missing a key ingredient in their impressive aerial assault. Tom Brady may be back, but he could be without his most reliable possession receiver Wes Welker. The 100-catch man is dealing with a knee injury that is threatening his availability for Monday. 

Obviously the loss of Welker would hurt the Patriots, but did I mention that Tom Brady is back?

Despite its dynastic success this decade led by the Belichick-Brady duo, New England is like any other team at this early stage of the season and has unknowns just like the Bills do. For example, though it’s believed that the very recent loss of Richard Seymour is mitigated by the Pats’ great depth on the defensive line, it surely is not a given that a 2011 first round pick was worth losing a five-time Pro Bowler who is not yet 30.

Of course, Tom Brady’s knee is another major issue, especially in his first real test on Monday night. He looked good in the preseason, but generally quarterbacks coming off knee injuries start slowly (see Palmer, Carson; Manning, Peyton).

Laurence Maroney, injured nearly all of 2008, needs to return to his 2006-2007 form in order to be the top back. If he’s not, however, New England has capable backups in veterans Fred Taylor and Sammy Morris, as well as second-year man BenJarvus Green-Ellis (likely as a goal-line back).

Patriots-Bills Prediction

The Bills only scored ten points combined in their two meetings with New England last season (both losses). It might be semi-tight in the first half, but the talent level between the two teams, plus the home atmosphere on opening night with the national TV audience, will give the Pats a fairly comfortable triumph and cover.

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* – Terrell Owens photo credit: Football Nation Blogs

Perhaps Mary Kay Cabot would do it, I thought, considering that she covers the Browns beat for the Cleveland Plain-Dealer.

Or perhaps one of our good friends over at the Orange & Brown Report would do it, considering they always seem to be out in front of important Browns news.

Or maybe ProFootballTalk would break the news, considering their ever-growing number of league and team sources, plus their obvious ins with agents around the league.

Well guess what…had I bet any money on any of those three options breaking the news, I would have lost. I also would have failed to realize that there is a hot new reporter in Berea breaking the important Browns news these days.

Follow the links to StubHub for great deals on Cleveland Browns tickets and all NFL tickets.

And you can follow him at http://twitter.com/terrellowens.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, the following tweet from the NFL’s most divisive receiver was the first public acknowledgement of what we all already assumed anyway: that Brady Quinn will be the starting QB for the Cleveland Browns in 2009.

Congrats 2 Brady Quinn 4 starting job w/Cleveland Browns!!

And I know this because shortly after Owens’ tweet was posted, ProFootballTalk and the Plain-Dealer (via the aforementioned Cabot) posted the news that Quinn would be the starter:

Brady Quinn has won the quarterback competition and will start Sunday’s game against the Vikings, a league source told The Plain Dealer today.

There is no word on whether or not Terrell Owens was, in fact, the league source that confirmed the news to Cabot, but she does mention PFT’s reference of T.O.’s tweet at the end of her short article. Does that strike anyone else as odd? 

For the record, I enjoy Cabot’s work and think she does as good a job as she can considering the tight-lipped nature of the current Browns administration, so my observations here are somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Still, it is rare that you see a beat reporter such as Cabot provide attribution to a tweet and a blog, inferring that they are relevant in the breaking of the most important story on her turf this offseason.

Seen another way, maybe it is just a sign of these twitterrific times we live in and an implicit commendation for the rapid rise of PFT from “just a blog” to a legitimate NFL news and rumor site.

Either way, it does amuse me that the identity of the Browns starting QB could not even be kept a secret for more than 24 hours after Eric Mangini reportedly met with Quinn and Derek Anderson to inform them of his decision. Not that I thought it would stay a secret…but I did at least expect it to stay private a little longer than it did.

I actually thought it was a good idea by Mangini to keep it a secret as long as possible. There aren’t many advantages the Browns have going into Sunday’s game against the Vikings, so he might as well hold onto every one he can, regardless of how small or insignificant.

Nonetheless, the cat now appears to be out of the bag, and Brady Biceps can assume complete leadership over the offense.

I think it’s the right move, all things considered, and hope that he begins to fulfill the promise that made him a 1st round selection. Most importantly, I hope the Browns coaching staff is committed to sticking with him. The last thing I want to see is another frustrating game of musical quarterback chairs like we saw last year.

This is Brady’s time, and we should know at the end of 2009 whether we have a franchise QB or a 1st round bust. I’m hoping for the former and think it’s time for the Browns to go all-in and find out.

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* – Terrell Owens photo credit: The Onion

* – Brady Quinn photo credit: The Play in California

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: Terrell Owens

After being abruptly released by Dallas in normal T.O. fashion, that being a disaster, T.O. quickly landed on his feet again in Buffalo. What does this mean to you as a fantasy football team owner?

If you are in a keeper league and currently have him, keep him!

His first years with new teams, minus his rookie year for the 49ers, are great statistically. In addition, he usually does not start the erosion of his relationships with him quarterback and coach until year two, precisely why Buffalo used their brains and signed him to a one-year deal. Buffalo could not buy touchdowns through the air last year, and Trent Edwards’ maturation process with the addition of Owens will definitely lead to more scoring, thus increasing Edwards fantasy value as well.

In a keeper league I would not take Owens before the 9th round, and not before the 7th round in standard leagues. Still, T.O. is running out of coaches and teams to burn, so he will be a model employee this year for the Bills.

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: The New England Patriots Defense

Forget about the loss of Mike Vrabel. With their core group of now second year linebackers in Jerod Mayo and Shaun Crable, they will not be phased by Vrabel’s departure.

The Patriots also retained Rodney Harrison and just signed free agents Shawn Springs and Leigh Bodden. Although Springs has played 13 NFL seasons, he is still considered a shut down type corner back. I also consider Bodden to be an above average cover cornerback. Adding these two to their defense which already has Ellis Hobbs gives them three quality cornerbacks to match up well against any offense with three talented receivers.

This is a very talented defense and I would keep them as well in a keeper league if you currently have them. On draft day, the defenses usually start going in 12-team leagues around the fifth round. When the first defense comes off of the board, whereever that may be, the Patriots D should not be far behind!

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: The Denver Broncos Defense

Staying with the defensive theme, the Broncos Defense was horrible last year and not worthy of ever starting. This offseason, the Broncos have been very active in their signings on the defensive side of the ball. Denver’s acquisitions include linebacker Andre Davis, safety Brian Dawkins, defensive tackle Ronald Fields, cornerback Andre Goodman, safety Renaldo Hill, defensive end Kenny Peterson and defensive tackle Darrell Reid.

The most notable players out of this group are Brian Dawkins and Andre Davis. Dawkins is a hard-hitting, emotional leader who will clearly set the tone for this defense. Dawkins leaves it all on the field and will expect the same from his teammates. Davis, who has started in Cleveland his entire career, will also improve their porous defense from a year ago.

I view the Broncos Defense as a great sleeper to draft as your second defense this year. There are always offenses that you as a fantasy owner never want your team to have to face, and if your number one D is playing one of these offenses, like the Patriots, if Denver has a weaker match up, they would be a good play to maximize your points for your defense that week.

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: Fred Taylor

Taylor’s disrespectful release by the Jaguars means a few things. First, Maurice Jones-Drew’s stock just went through the ceiling. Secondly, The Jag’s offense just lost their most prolific running back in franchise history. Fred Taylor has quietly had one of the top 20 statistical careers of all time. Taylor, underappreciated by NFL fans as a whole by only reaching the Pro Bowl one time, will be a force if given the opportunity in New England.

The key word is “IF”.

For those of you who have never had a New England Patriot running back since the retirement of Corey Dillon, you will never know week in and week out which back of the 200 they use will get the carries. When Dillon retired, Laurence Maroney was the runaway favorite to be an every down back. Years later and many injuries later, that has not happened. This roster still has Kevin Faulk, BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Sammy Morris — all three of which had good fantasy weeks last year depending on who was their favorite, or healthy, back on any given week.

Since Fred Taylor was splitting carries the last couple years, I can see him having two to three good seasons left in him. I like Taylor’s upside and if available in any double digit rounds, I would take him if the opportunity was there. Do yourself a favor and collect the rest of this Patriots group as well with the exception of Faulk.

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: T.J. Houshmandzadeh

The biggest question here is, “Can T.J. continue his success as the #1 receiver versus his being a #2 behind a clear cut #1 stud?”

The answer: “Yes!”

If healthy, T.J. Houshmandzadeh is as talented as most of the top receivers in the NFL. Matt Hasslebeck just gained a new favorite target to team up with tight end John Carlson and wide receivers Deion Branch and Nate Burleson. I would expect T.J. to go in the sixth round in most leagues. I consider him a steal any further then the eight round.

2009 Fantasy Football Outlook: Laveranues Coles

You can copy and paste everything that I spoke on T.J. Houshmandzadeh and place next to Coles. If Chad Johnson, sorry — “Chad Ocho-Cinco”, stays with the Bengals, Carson Palmer will not notice the absence of Houshmandzadeh. Coles will be as effective as the Bengals offensive line allows him to be, meaning: give Palmer time, Coles will produce.

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This group are to this point what I consider to be the most notable offseason signings concerning fantasy value. Look for my fantasy football 2009 NFL draft recap for instant impact rookie players for your 2009 rosters. If I missed someone and you are looking for insight, drop me a note to the article in the comment section.

Kurt Fraschetti

Editor’s note: Kurt will be managing the first ever Midwest Sports Fans Fantasy Football League starting next season. Obviously he had to give JRod a slot in the league so he wouldn’t whine and bitch, but that just means that last place is already filled in. If you are interested in playing, shoot Kurt an email at fraschetti@midwestsportsfans.com and be prepared to state your case and fantasy credentials. We want the best of the best.

Terrell Owens photo credit: AP Photo/The Buffalo News, James P. McCoy

Fred Taylor photo credit: Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

First off, I agree with the move from the Cowboys’ perspective. Yes, it creates a big question mark at WR, where they now only have the overrated Roy Williams and the underwhelming trio of Patrick Crayton, Miles Austin, and Sam Hurd. However, this is a very good draft for WRs, and with their first round the pick the Cowboys should be able to target guys like Jeremy Maclin or Percy Harvin.

What’s that you say? The Cowboys traded their first round pick in 2009 for Roy Williams? Oh. Hmm…

Well, surely they can still make a play for a WR in free agency, right? Let’s take a look at the Scout.com list of still-available free agent WRs, now that TJ Houshmandzadeh has signed with the Seahwaks and Laveraneus Coles has signed with Bengals. Here is a quick list of the top guys left:

• Marvin Harrison
• Jerry Porter
• Lance Moore
• Joey Galloway
• D.J. Hackett
• Drew Bennett
• And a bunch of other guys not really worth mentioning who fit into the Miles Austin-Sam Hurd class of nondescript 4th or 5th WRs.

So…not a whole lot there to choose from. I could see Marvin Harrison as a potential option, a stop-gap for this season. But he is living more on reputation than anything else these days, and his rep isn’t even that good anymore. Jerry Jones does like to bring in “names” though, so I wouldn’t necessarily count Harrison out.

The point of this silly exercise is that the Cowboys made themselves a less talented offense by cutting Terrell Owens, and there are not a whole lot of options out there to replace him. But you know what? I still think it will make them a better team. Here’s why:

• The Cowboys should be built around the run, not the pass. They have Marion Barber, Felix Jones, and Tashard Choice in the backfield. Three excellent runners. Plus, they have a big and meaty offensive line that is adequate enough as a run blocking unit. Now that T.O. doesn’t need to be coddled and thrown to, the Cowboys can focus more on the ground.
• If it comes down to a pissing contest between your franchise QB and your aging, no-as-effective-anymore WR, you have to side with the QB. I think Tony Romo displayed some immaturity last year, and the jury is out as to whether he can win in the playoffs, but I’d rather him be happy than placate Owens if I’m a Cowboys fan.
• Roy Williams does have talent, and the Cowboys dealt a #1 pick for him last year. This allows Williams to step into the #1 role and prove what he can do. It will allow to Cowboys to find out if they have a true #1 receiver to build the offense around, or if they need to move onto plan C next offseason.
• And finally, and more importantly, releasing T.O. will undoubtedly help with locker room harmony and chemistry. Perhaps the Cowboys are getting smarter and Jerry Jones is figuring out what wins football games these days. Putting a bunch of big names on a roster doesn’t do it — creating a team does. T.O. may sometimes get blamed for things that are not his fault, but he has earned that absence of any benefit of the doubt. He’s had problems with every QB he’s ever played with and history has proven that he just can’t stay in one place too long. His welcome had been worn out in Dallas, and it was time for him to go. The Cowboys will be better off because of it.

Another hot topic of conversation on both 1310 The Ticket and Mike & Mike in the Morning as I drove in today was where Terrell Owens might end up now that he is not the teacher’s pet for Jerry Jones any longer. Let’s take a quick trip through the divisions and see what teams could potentially be a fit, keeping these components in mind:

• The team has to have some cap space
• There needs to be an established QB who would command T.O.’s respect and keep him in line
• There needs to be a need at the WR position

.And just for fun, I’ll rate my own thoughts of the likelihood of T.O. ending up somewhere on a 1-10 scale.

(FYI: All cap numbers were taken from WalterFootball.com’s team-by-team offseason reports and may not reflect the most up-to-date numbers. Great site though.)

You can also feel free to skip my a.m. ramblings from this morning and hop on over to PFT’s Anti-TO List. Expectedly, some of my projections below have already proven erroneous.

NFC East:

• New York Giants: They obviously need a WR, and have $11 million in cap space. Considering Tom Coughlin’s history with Bill Parcells though, and the headaches caused by Plaxico Burress last year, there are hurdles. But the Giants have a strong locker room and a laid-back QB in Eli Manning would could get along with T.O. for a year or two. This is a very hard one to handicap. 6 out of 10.
• Washington Redskins: They are up against the cap after the Albert Haynesworth signing and just recently drafted young WRs to go along with Santana Moss and Antwaan Randle El. There is absolutely no reason for the Redskins to look at T.O. In fact, it would be a dumb, stupid, ludicrous move for them to make — which is exactly why it is slightly possible, given Daniel Snyder’s history. 1 out of 10
• Philadelphia Eagles: The position need is there, but no way, no how. Been there, done that. 0 out of 10

NFC North:

• Chicago Bears: This is an interesting one. The Bears don’t have much at receiver beyond Devin Hester and do have some cap space. With the team committing to Kyle Orton, adding another weapon could certainly help him out. I think the fit seems possible, but I just don’t see it. 3 out of 10
• Detroit Lions: No way. They were 0-16 last year and need to rebuild, and Jim Schwartz won’t want anything to do with T.O., especially they go QB with the #1 pick. 0 out of 10.
• Green Bay Packers: WR is already a strength for this team. No chance. 0 out of 10.
• Minnesota Vikings: They have cap space, and a few decent-to-good WRs in Bernard Berrian and Bobby Wade. They just signed a new QB in Sage Rosenfels, but are obviously built to win games on the ground. And Brad Childress was in Philly with T.O. 0 out of 10.

NFC South:

• Atlanta Falcons: Young QB in Matt Ryan and an established #1 WR in Roddy White. No chance. 0 out of 10.
• Carolina Panthers: They need a WR to step in for Muhsin Muhammad, but they want to go young. They wouldn’t replace Muhammad with T.O., since the two are essentially the same game nowadays, but Muhammad doesn’t have the baggage. 0 out of 10.
• New Orleans Saints: They are not in a great cap situation, so probably could not sign T.O. and still sign their rookie FAs. They do love to pass the ball and Terrell Owens would give Drew Brees another solid target, plus T.O. might respect Brees enough to treat him decently for a year or so. I guess it is possible, but highly unliekly. 1 out of 10.
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers: They certainly have the cap space, but just resigned Antonio Bryant and Michael Clayton. Plus, they will have a great chance to get a WR in the first round of the draft. But with Kellen Winslow and Jerramy Stevens already on the team, could they afford another head case? 1 out of 10.

NFC West:

• Arizona Cardinals: If they don’t get Anquan Boldin extended and happy, there would be a void at the WR position. However, they would have Steve Breaston to step right in. Plus, the Cardinals are cheap, and I doubt Kurt Warner wants to deal with T.O.’s whining. 1 out of 10.
• San Francisco 49ers: I cannot imagine Mike Singletary wanting to bring T.O. back to where it all started. There are still question marks for this team at QB, and Singletary showed last year how much patience he has for me-first guys: zero. There is a need at WR, but enough to go for Terrell Owens. 0 out of 10.
• Seattle Seahawks: Maybe, had they not just signed T.J. Houshmandzadeh. No reason to reach for T.O. anymore, especially with the chance to take Michael Crabtree in the draft. They do have a strong QB in Hasselbeck and could still use more WR help, but I don’t really see it. 1 out of 10.
• St. Louis Rams: The need is definitely there, especially with Torry Holt asking to be released. They Rams have an established QB in Marc Bulger who could potentially get along with Terrell Owens. And new head coach Steve Spagnuolo has faced T.O. times a year and will have a good idea if Owens is washed up, or if he has anything left to give. The Rams do have some cap space. This is a possibility. 6 out of 10.

AFC East:

• Buffalo Bills: The Bills have a lot of cap space, but have Lee Evans, Josh Reed, and James Hardy at WR, with plenty of other holes to fill. 0 out of 10.
• Miami Dolphins: Riiight. Bill Parcells and “The Player” back together again? I think not. -6983 out of 10.
• New England: They already have Randy Moss and Wes Welker and will want to bring young guys in to fill their other WR voids. The locker room and QB situation would work, and the Pats have cap space, but I don’t think T.O.’s production justifies the headache anymore. 1 out of 10.
• New York Jets: The need is there, with Laveraneus Coles headed to the Bengals. They are up against the cap though, and still have rookies to sign. Plus, with no established QB, what would keep T.O. in line? 2 out of 10.

AFC North:

• Baltimore Ravens: They need a WR, especially with Derrick Mason getting older, but they will want that WR to be younger. They do have cap space as well. Perhaps the Ravens feel like T.O. could put them over the age and give them a chance to go one step further than last year. Joe Flacco is a young QB, but Ray Lewis and the strong personalities on D could help keep Owens in line. This one is intriguing, but still unlikely I think. 5 out of 10.
• Cincinnati Bengals: They just signed Coles, so the need is not there. They have cap space, but why waste it on Owens? 0 out of 10.
• Cleveland Browns: Especially if they end up trading Braylon Edwards, WR will be a need. And the Browns do have cap space. However, I don’t see T.O. meshing well at with Eric Mangini. 0 out 10.
• Pittsburgh Steelers: No way. They have Holmes and Ward, and I can’t see Mike Tomlin putting up with Owens. 0 out of 10.

AFC South:

• Houston Texans: The cap space is there, and Matt Schaub is an established veteran. However, Andre Johnson is the clear #1, and Kevin Walter had a solid year that year. They could use another WR, and I guess this is possible, but I still can’t really see it happening. 2 out of 10.
• Indianapolis Colts: This one is very intriguing to me. The Colts need 3 WRs for their offense to functional as usual. With Marvin Harrison gone, they need someone to line up opposite Reggie Wayne so Anthony Gonzalez can work the slot. Peyton Manning would obviously demand T.O. respect; but, there is a first time head coach that may not be ready to deal with T.O. And cap space is an issue. I think there are reasons why this could work on the field in the short term, but it is probably not possible. 1 out of 10.
• Jacksonville Jaguars: They basically have nothing at WR. They do, however, have an established QB in David Garrard and enough cap space to make a deal happen. However, with the disharmony that was present in the locker room last year, why would you bring in Terrell Owens? This is only possible because of the immense strength of the need Jacksonville has at WR, but I’d be shocked if they were dumb enough to bring a toxic element into an already toxic locker room. 4 out of 10.
• Tennessee Titans: The Titans always need WRs. They signed Nate Washington and re-signed Justin McCareins, but T.O. would be top threat on the this team. They have $31 million in cap space as of February 8th, and a veteran QB in Kerry Collins who can get the ball down the field. Plus, Jeff Fisher seems like one of the coaches who has enough experience and skins on the wall to keep T.O. in line temporarily. There are a lot of reasons why this is possible, though still not probably. 5 out of 10.

AFC West:

• Denver Broncos: They already have Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal, and I don’t think a young first-time head coach is equipped to deal with Jay Cutler’s bitchiness, Marshall’s immaturity, and T.O.’s ego. 0 out of 10.
• Kansas City Chiefs: On the field, Terrell Owens would be a nice #2 option after Dwayne Bowe. But the Chiefs have a new QB situation and new coaches and management. The cap space is definitely there, but Scott Pioli will want to create a winning climate immediately, and T.O.’s selfishness won’t fit into that. 1 out of 10.
• Oakland Raiders: Need is huge, and this is the Raiders. The cap situation is not good, but still — this is the Raiders. Never underestimate Al Davis’ willingness to do things that make no sense. 6 out of 10.
• San Diego Chargers: Decent cap situation, established QB, so it could work from that perspective in the short term. However, the Chargers have needs needs beyond WR, where they have Vincent Jackson, Chris Chambers, and a core of young guys. Cant see this one. 1 out of 10.

So there you have it. According to my completely unscientific and hastily slapped together analysis, the most likely possible destinations for Terrell Owens are the Raiders, the Giants, and the Rams, with the Ravens, Titans, and Jaguars as secondary possibilities.

I think any of these teams would be making a big mistake, but this is the NFL. Someone will roll the dice on T.O. if the price is right, but I think they’ll be sorry in the end — just like the Cowboys were.

After a royal butt whipping at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles in a Win-and-In game Sunday afternoon, the Dallas Cowboys are saying everything but the right thing.

The Cowboys had an opportunity to reach the playoffs with a win at Philly, but all they accomplished was wasting 3 hours of my day (actually about 2, because I couldn’t stand to watch any more) and costing me another point in my football pool.

The frustrating part of this is the fact that I have yet to hear anyone stand up and say, you know what, Philly played a great game and that we didn’t deserve to win. Instead, all I am hearing is that it’s so and so’s fault, or listening to T.O. cry again because his quarterback played terrible when it matters.

I do think that Jerry Jones needs to look in the mirror a little and understand that money doesn’t buy championships. The Cowboys lack unity and toughness. When the chips are down, the finger pointing begins; yet when things are rolling well, the cocky Cowboys think “we are the best team in football.”

It’s apparent that Jerry Jones is going to bring Head Coach Wade Phillips back next year. I guess I have to respect that decision, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I truly believe that the attitude and mental toughness of a team comes from a coach that has a strong personality and demands the best out of his players. It’s an attitude, and it starts at the top. There’s no doubt the Cowboys have the talent to be an elite force in the NFL, what they lack are the guts and passion to go out and make it happen.

I don’t mean to slam on Dallas, and I have been a Cowboy fan for many, many years now. But more than anything, I am a football fan. I follow the Chiefs, Rams and Cowboys. I guess that’s maybe where my frustration is coming from, because the first two are terrible and the Cowboys were the only hope this year. Oh well, I will still enjoy watching the playoffs and Super Bowl.

The Cowboys will move into their new $1.1 billion dollar stadium next year, and the question is whether or not they will field a team worthy of this commitment. I for one will be interested to see what, if any, changes are made during the offseason.

coop92 is a contributing author to Midwest Sports Fans, as well as the editor at Midwest Sports Junkies. Check out his site for additional analysis of the St. Louis Cardinals, the BCS, and Missouri Tigers football.

We are transitioning all of our fantasy content over to the new blog, but I figured I’d post the sleeper predictions here since the Fantasy Sports Blog is still fairly new and I don’t want anyone to miss out on the prognosticating genius of Fraschetti.

Here are Fraschetti’s sleepers for Week 11 of the Fantasy Football season:

Tyler Thigpen, QB, Chiefs. Tyler Thigpen is #2 in fantasy football points at the quarterback position over the last three weeks. Thigpen is facing a Saints defense which does not strike fear into any offense. I am not calling Tyler Thigpen a fantasy QB god, but in a jam he is a good filler. I like consistency, and three weeks of good scoring fits my definition of consistency.

Ricky Williams, RB, Dolphins. Ricky William is coming off of a good fantasy performance, and is facing OAKLAND. Need I say more? Just remember, anyone vs Oakland is a good thing.

Terrell Owens, WR, Cowboys. This is the week that Terrell Owens gets off the schnied. Tony Romo and Terrell Owens = TD, period. Its hard to call T.O. a sleeper, but really, have you been starting him? Did you not want to trade him, or still trying to? Terrell Owens should have a bounce back week this week.

Follow the link to read the rest of Fraschetti’s weekly fantasy football sleeper focus column and post any last-minute lineup questions. You can post your questions here too.

We are also hosting a live chat on Sunday morning between 9:00 and 11:00 ET.  Head over to the Week 11 Start Em, Sit Em Live Chat now and submit your question early.  (If it’s past 9:00 already, then hurry the hell over now and get your question in before we’re done.  What are you waiting for?)

To find out more about the injury status of running backs like Clinton Portis and Willie Parker, check out the Running Back Injury Report post.

Best of luck in Week 11! (Hopefully LT will actually show up this weekend!)

[tags]fantasy football, sleepers[/tags]

I have been asked to do the impossible, to defend Dallas Cowboys CB Mike Jenkins for his sheer cowardice in not attempting to tackle Derrick Ward. However, as a maverick, I shall pull the Palin defense and completely dodge the question by talking about something else.

There is absolutely nothing to say about the Jenkins non-tackle. He’s a professional, a grown man, and he should act like it. I am more concerned with the overall picture and a bigger question. What happened to the Dallas Cowboys this season?

It is clear that there is a major problem with the team. Some point to the injuries that have decimated the team. The offense is a shambles without quarterback Tony Romo and rookie sensation Felix Jones to boost the running game, among a host of other injuries on both sides of the ball. Yet the injury excuse does not truly explain the disaster that is the Dallas Cowboys season.

Even before the injuries, the Cowboys were not playing well. The loss to the Washington Redskins was something that did not have to happen. The game against the Arizona Cardinals did not need to end as it did. Even the win against Chad Ocho-Cinco Johnson and the Cincinnati Bengals was relatively weak.

Watching the disgraceful, abysmal performance against the Giants, I realized something. The Cowboys are not really even trying.

Mike Jenkins performance on the touchdown run by Derrick Ward is just a symptom of a bigger problem. The Dallas Cowboys are simply not playing like the champions that they built themselves up to be.

Anyone who watched HBO’s Hard Knocks knows that owner Jerry Jones and the entire Dallas Cowboys franchise were expecting to win the Super Bowl this year. Not win a playoff game, something they failed to do last year, but win the Super Bowl. After last years 13–3 season which ended with a loss in the playoffs to the New York Football Giants, this team is expecting to win a championship?

The swagger of the team at the beginning of the season was completely ridiculous and embarrassing. This team has achieved very little in recent years. A 13-3 season, while an impressive record, means nothing if you cannot win a single playoff game, and yet the Cowboys have walked around with a sense of entitlement.

Who can forget the image of Terrell Owens running shirtless on a beach? What has Terrell Owens done this season? The man touted as one of the leagues top wide receivers continually whines about being double covered. When the Cowboys alleviate this situation by trading for Roy Williams, a former Longhorn great, what is the result? Against the New York Giants, Terrell Owens gets the ball stripped in the red zone. Yes the game was tough and Grandpa Brad Johnson was not doing the Cowboys any favors, but Owens had made the catch, he just didn’t hold on to the ball.

Owens is not the only slacker. Tank Johnson did nothing against the Giants except get called for offside penalties. The quarterback play proved why every team in this league needs a quality back up. The amount of penalties accumulated by the Cowboys this season is nothing short of embarrassing.

Yet, in spite of all the frustration felt a number of fans of America’s Team, including myself, there is a silver lining. In the week leading up to the game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, several Cowboys players on the defense began to call the team out. The level of intensity was raised and the defense led the Cowboys to a win over a Bucs team that easily could have won the game.

This leads me to hope beyond hope that the Cowboys recent performance will be ashamed of their recent play. Yes, the players have faced adversity beyond it’s control with injuries and an owner and local media who set expectations way too high, but that is no excuse for those players still on the field. It is time for the leadership on this team to step up. It is time for the players to perform.

The upcoming bye week will allow the Dallas Cowboys to take a long, hard look inside. With the return of Tony Romo, Felix Jones, and several other players, the team no longer has to worry about injuries. The Super Bowl seems now to be an impossibility, but while anything can still happen, the Cowboys need to look to the more immediate future. It is time for the players to start taking pride in what they do. No more whining, no more taking plays off, and no more mental mistakes. It is time to “man up,” get some courage, and get after some people. This team has some talent, but talent is wasted if there is no heart.

As for Mike Jenkins, he messed up big time, but a real man learns from his mistakes and shortcomings to make himself a better man. I am interested to see what Mike Jenkins learns between now and the next game.

As I’m sure you know by now, Kellen Winslow has been suspended by the Cleveland Browns for this Sunday’s game against Jacksonville. In a statement released today, Phil Savage basically said it was due to conduct detrimental to the team and that ever stone has been overturned trying to fix the staph infection problem plaguing the Browns.

Kellen Winslow issued his own statement backing up the validity of what he said that got him suspended, but also taking responsibility, professing his commitment to the Browns, claiming that he remains loyal and wants to be a Brown for a very long time, and saying that his statements Sunday night had nothing to do with football or his contract situation.

I really hope so Kellen. But here is the problem: Kellen’s agent is Drew Rosenhaus, who has proven time and again that he is a Machiavellian puppeteer when it comes to trying to squeeze every last dollar possible out of NFL teams.

Quick — when you think of Drew Rosenhaus’ clients, who are the first two who come to mind? If you said Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens, you are like a vast majority of people I would presume. And why are these two of the most well-known Rosenhaus clients? Because they made complete fools of themselves, damaged their teams, damaged their reputations; and all in the name of getting more money, more money, more money.

Is it possible that Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson are just loose cannons who did push-ups in their driveway and claimed they would never play for the Bengals again all on their own? I guess. I’m not a beat reporter or an NFL Insider, so I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. But I know what I hear and what I read, and it certainly seems like players’ priorities tend to change the minute Drew Rosenhaus gets ahold of them. He can’t make a dime off of their NFL contract until he negotiates it for them. Hence, when Kellen Winslow picked up Rosenhaus as his agent, many people figured it meant Kellen wanted a new deal sooner rather than later.

Here is what I hope: I hope that Kellen Winslow was sincere in saying that his recent insubordination is a result of his feelings being hurt and thinking that he had an altruistic responsibility to get the truth out. If so, I still think he was wrong because he brought all of this on his team; but I can at least respect his commitment to principle.

If, however, this is all part of a Rosenhausian plot to pave the way for Kellen’s ultimate departure from Cleveland, then I say shame on both of them. I have no reports to link out to that say this is the case, and I hope that my hypothesis is wrong. But the more I read about this situation, the more it smells like Drew Rosenhaus trying to be opportunistic and angle a way out of town for his client, while throwing the Browns under the bus in the process.

Although, make no mistake: the Browns deserve every piece of criticism they get here. I realize they have done everything possible to fix the issue; but until they do in fact solve the staph infection problem, the organization has to maintain accountability for the issue and should do it publicly. They would expect the same from their players.

I think that only time will tell whether Kellen Winslow is currently being manipulated by Niccolo Rosenhaus. If he returns from his suspension humbled, hard-working, and hungry to be somewhat selfless in helping the Browns turn their season around, then I will be gladly wrong. On the other hand, if this current issue is only the tip of the iceberg, then we will have even more circumstantial evidence that the sports agent/ventriloquist named Drew Rosenhaus is in control.

Either way, it’s time to look forward. The 2008 season hangs in the balance this Sunday when the Cleveland Browns take on the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Browns found some magic and rhythm the last time Kellen Winslow was out; perhaps they can find that same magic and rhythm with him out again.

(Since this post was published, Phil Savage has publicly addressed the suspension of Kellen Winslow. Read excerpts, our take, and follow a link to listen to the audio yourself.)

(Photo Art by Midwest Sports Fans — you may click the Photoshopped goodness above but it will not enlarge; the heads in the image are already big enough, don’t you think?)

[tags]kellen winslow, drew rosenhaus, cleveland browns, nfl, football, terrell owens, chad johnson[/tags]

Two weeks ago, after your first week in the NFL, I watched you with a grin on my face in a post game interview as you shrugged and smiled about your first NFL appearance being a 100 yard game. “I’m just living that rookie life.” Well, like Adam Sandler shakes the fat kid’s face in Billy Madison, pleading with him to maintain his innocence, I, too, write to with the same emotion. Pleading with you, don’t go the way of other “locker room problem” receivers.

Monday night you looked like an asshole. I’ll spell it out for you. You dropped a touchdown cause you turn yourself on too much. If your self-obsession is a problem, go beat off in the mirror. Don’t cost your team six points. Any one of your douche bag friends, girlfriends or “buddies” who said, “It’s no big deal, you guys scored, anyway” is wrong. They clearly don’t know the scale of football you play. That was, perhaps, the greatest Monday night game ever and you win the “Biggest Idiot of the Greatest Game” award. If you didn’t have Brian Westbrook risk his neck on the next play, Andy Reid would have eaten you. After allowing a mob, donning Chase Utley jerseys, to pelt you with batteries and put you on the flat grill at Gino’s Steaks.

Just in case your memory is as piss poor as your judgment, here is a clip from Idiot Circus starring DeSean Jackson from Monday night. No…wait. It’s a clip of a professional football game. Funny how the line can get blurred when a clown steals the show.

Think back to your JV football coach. If you dropped that ball in practice he would have slapped the shit out of you, because that’s what America wanted to do to you last night. They wanted to slap the shit out of you. Philly fans wanted to hang you, but the rest of us just wanted to slap you. Brian Dawkins wanted to do it with his dick. I think I saw him mouth the words, “smack that rookie with a cock” on the sideline.

DeSean, we get it. You’re young, you’re rich, you run routes like a mother-effin laser and Donovan McNabb has been begging to meet you since he started in Philly, but, please, don’t go take that asshole reciever road. Football fans don’t want to see more off the field, on the field drama. (It might be par for the course in the NFC east but here in the central Da’ Coach would have broken your nose at halftime. It offends the Midwestern fans’ mild sensibilities.)

That act is tired. Don’t take the flash in the pan, the-only-thing-we-remember-you-for-is-the-antics, TO route. Sure, he’s a good receiver, TO might even be one of the best but the football populous will forever stand with the man who is better than him, in the books and in our hearts, Jerry Rice, (your personal mentor) because TO is a dick. You love to watch him catch the ball but when he crosses the goal line and you have to watch him celebrate, I roll my eyes and think, “I wish Jason Witten had caught that, so I don’t have to watch this.” Then I say, “I wish Greg Olsen was Jason Witten…” My brief reverie of talent aside, you get the point. The “I love me some me” mentality is selfish football.

You and me, we are almost the same age, and while TO’s antics of signing the camera, standing on the star, playing cheerleader made us laugh and were the highlights of shit-talking at pick up football games. That’s what it is – SHIT. The dude can’t stop talking shit. He still rags on Jeff Garcia. Jeff Garcia, the guy who looks more like he could be the IT guy at your office rather than veteran QB. Who rags on the friendly, balding IT guy? He’s always pretty helpful. Well, so is Jeff Garcia.

I’m pretty sure that even though TO has star power, if it wasn’t for the humble, saintly, nice guy demeanor of Tony “I-wouldn’t-be-mad-if-he-banged-my-sister” Romo, to balance out his ego, the Cowboys ship would have sunk by now. Don’t sink your super bowl quality team, DeSean. Hold on to the goddamn football, get jacked up but beware because if I see you doing sit-ups in your driveway while you talk shit about your QB, I’ll write another letter addressed to Philly but it will go like this…

“Dear Jon Runyan-

Please, take a dump in DeSean Jackson’s locker. He’s being a dick. Here’s a 100 dollar gift card to White Castle, hopefully that will help…”

That would likely send some sort of message but I’m hoping you’re not gonna make me spend 100 dollars at White Castle.

Love,

Sean