As with the White Sox championship back in the Fall of ’05, the Blackhawks winning it all is extra special because of the prodigious cavern of time and seasons in between this title and the franchise’s last.

But that is how things go in Chicago. Teams win a title, then wait a long, long time before winning another. Case in point: the Bulls in ’94 and ’95. They went an entire two years without a 3-peat! It was truly a trying time for Chicagoans.

Okay…so maybe the Bulls are a bad example.

We all know who the big, pathetic elephant in the room is whenever someone mentions the words “Chicago” and “title drought” in the same sentence.

Now that the White Sox and Blackhawks have ended their droughts, the question is: will the Cubs be next? Or will another shorter Chicago sports drought end first?

Let’s analyze Chicago’s professional sports teams in order of shortest current title drought to longest and, on a scale of 1-10 Michael Jordans, assess their chances of being the next Chicago team to win it all.

Chicago Blackhawks

Current title drought: 12 hours

Why they’ll be next:

It’s hard to argue that the team that just won the Stanley Cup isn’t well positioned to do it again next year. This is a team with some young stars that obviously proved they were ready to make the step to champion this year. Why not next year too?

Why they’ll be last:

Defending a title is always more difficult than winning one (or so they say). We can’t just assume the Blackhawks will win it again next year or the year after that. This is a franchise that just went almost an entire half century without winning one remember.

And look at what happened to the White Sox after 2005. Everyone thought they were primed to repeat in ’06, they got off to a great start, and then BAM, reality set in. Their pitchers’ arms fell off in the second half of the season, the bottom fell out in ’07, and now just five years later the White Sox are on the verge of trading the last vestiges of ’05 – Mark Buehrle, AJ Pierzynski, Bobby Jenks, Paul Konerko – to rebuild.

Sorry to pee in your punchbowl there Blackhawks fans, but you never know what’s right around the corner for a franchise.

Final Verdict:

You have to like the Blackhawks as the closest Chicago team to its next title, especially since they are still gang-humping the Stanley Cup as we speak.

8 Michael Jordans

Chicago White Sox

Current title drought: 5 years (counting 2010, because let’s be honest, the White Sox are going nowhere this year)

Why they’ll be next:

Speaking of the White Sox, this probably isn’t the best time to be talking about the team’s World Series chances. A lot of us had high hopes coming into the season, but those have been dashed by 2+ terrible months of baseball in which the AL Central’s expected best starting rotation has sucked beyond belief.

With vets like Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko aging and probably on their way out the door, plus a lot of money tied up in the pitiful Jake Peavy and resurgent though untrustworthy Alex Rios, plus the struggles of guys like Gordon Beckham, Carlos Quentin, and Gavin Floyd, plus a depleted Minor League system…well, things don’t exactly look all that bright on the South Side.

So let’s just skip to the next section. I can’t think of any compelling reason why the White Sox will be Chicago’s next champion, other than the randomness of baseball.

Why they’ll be last:

Read the previous section. Can you tell I’m not a real optimistic White Sox fan right now?

Final Verdict:

The White Sox have a lot of work to do to get themselves back into contention, but the reality of baseball is that if the White Sox veteran pitchers can return to form next year, if they can add a strong bat or two, and if Ozzie Guillen can push the right buttons to build some momentum, anything is possible. So while things don’t look that great right now, things can change and come out of nowhere in baseball.

And since Michael Jordan once played for the White Sox, I’m giving the Good Guys one extra MJ.

3 Michael Jordans

Chicago Bulls

Current title drought: 12 years

Why they’ll be next:

The Bulls have one of the NBA’s up-and-coming stars in point guard Derrick Rose, along with the kind of do-it-all glue guy in Joakim Noah that you need to win a title. Obviously they need more pieces, but they have a decent foundation started.

Why they’ll be last:

There is no telling what the recently announced decision to bring in the alliterative power of Tom Thibodeau’s defensive wizardry will mean. He has never been a head coach at the NBA level, and wasn’t that one of the criticisms of Vinny Del Negro? It’s possible that the Bulls may have hired a lemon and that they’ll continue to tread water in the Eastern Conference.

Final Verdict:

Some people think T.T. was brought in because it would help curry favor with LeBron James (the two share an agent). If so, and if the Bulls can snag LeBron, then they immediately vault to the front of the Chicago pack. Right now it is still too early to tell, so I have to take a middle-of-the-road view of the Bulls’ chances.

5 Michael Jordans

Chicago Bears

Current title drought: 25 years

Why they’ll be next:

The NFL, like MLB, is a league where quick turnarounds can happen, where teams can come out of nowhere to make surprise playoff runs. Bears fans must hope that is the case this year, because I don’t think many people are expecting a lot out of the Bears this year.

Still, they did add Julius Peppers and Chester Taylor (weakening conference foes in the process), they have a coach who has taken a team to a Super Bowl, and they have a quarterback who at least has the physical skills to be among the league’s elite. And in the absence of a historically dominant D, you aren’t winning a Super Bowl without an elite QB. If Cutler and Martz can mesh well, the Bears could surprise in a pretty wide open NFC.

Why they’ll be last:

Well, this season needs to go well. If it doesn’t, Lovie Smith will likely be gone (undoubtedly taking Mike Martz with him), confidence in Jay Cutler will be waning, and the entire direction of the franchise will be up in the air. Stability typically wins championships in the NFL. The Bears are holding onto it tenuously right now. A bad 2010 season, however, and it all gets “blowed up” (to quote Emmitt Smith), which could set the Bears back 3-5 years.

Final Verdict:

The thin ice the Bears are walking on, plus the chance of LeBron going to Chicago, means that the Bears have to be behind the Bulls. The fact that the White Sox at least have guys on their roster with World Series title winning experience, while the Bears have a QB in Cutler who has never won at any level, also means that I cannot in good conscience rank the Bears over the White Sox. I’ll call it a draw.

3 Michael Jordans

Chicago Cubs

Current title drought: 102 years

Why they’ll be next:

Because the Red Sox proved that miracles are possible and curses are made to be broken.

Because even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Because the law of averages has to work out in their favor at some point, right?

Choose any trite, loosely related cliche you want to make yourselves feel better Cubs fans. Really. I won’t judge. I promise.

Why they’ll be last:

102 years of being losers is a difficult tradition to overcome. Sure, the White Sox did it, but that’s because the power of Steve Perry compelled us. Who the hell is going to supply enough karma to overcome the Cubs’ drought? Not even Culture Club could provide enough.

Final Verdict:

The Cubs organization is in about as poor a shape top to bottom as the White Sox. The sad thing is, both teams are in the top 10 in baseball in payroll. That’s not good. But at least the White Sox are hanging onto the final shards of a championship squad. The Cubs are hanging onto…what, exactly?

The rebuilding process will have to start soon, thus ending one era of losing on the North Side so that another can begin.

Sorry Cubs, but you don’t get measured in MJ’s. I can’t associate his image with so much losing. But your consolation prize is 10 Mariottis…plus, of course, another title-less season.

Yes, unfortunately for this poor girl, who sums up the experience of being a Cubs fan in the iconic image below, the Blackhawks’ victory last night simply means that the Cubs are now even further removed from a title than the rest of the franchises in the Windy City.

And, as usual, there is little hope on the horizon.

Congrats to the Blackhawks and their fans. Whose turn do you think it will be next?

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I am speaking, of course, about the 1980s.  

I entered this world during the second calendar year of the 1908s, and amazingly we are now nearly two complete decades removed from the final year of this gloriously awful 10-year period.  So let’s take a trip down memory lane this morning and remember two of the most cheesy and god awful successful and memorable music videos of the 1980s: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley and “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey.

First, let’s watch the videos…as if you couldn’t just close your eyes and replay them in your head on command.

Unfortunately, and I just realized this, both videos have embedding disabled on YouTube…which totally sucks. So instead of embedding them, I’ve taken two awesome screen shots and linked them to the YouTube pages where you can watch the videos. I suggest you do so now. (Be careful doing so if you are at work though…you may have trouble concentrating for the rest of the day.)

Click the picture of Rick Astley to watch the video for “Never Gonna Give You Up”

Click the picture of Steve Perry to watch the video for “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)”

Now that we’ve re-watched the two videos, let’s break down which one is better.

Reasons Why “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley is better:

Oh my, there are so many.

First and foremost, (1) we have to give Astley props for the concept of “RickRolling.” Truth be told, I just found out about this last night while researching this post. Not sure how I missed it, but it’s an awesome concept. Basically, people post a link that is supposed to go somewhere you’d be interested in, but link you to the “Never Gonna Give You Up” video instead.

That might be the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of.

And it’s been great for keeping this sublime little piece of 80s lore relevant. Did you notice the number of views on the “Never Gonna Give You Up” video? Over 18 million. (2) According to Wikipedia, the combined total views on the many different versions of the video on YouTube is over 39 million.  Crazy.  Not even the great Steve Perry can top that for a single video.

Additionally, (3) “Never Gonna Give You Up” came out in 1987.  That is the same year that Indiana won their last national championship in basketball, on Keith Smart’s memorable baseline jumpshot (in the air…GOOD!) in the closing seconds.  I thought about comparing these two videos for “Greatest Moment in 80s History”, but then I remembered that “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” was still out there.  So Keith and the Hoosiers will have to settle for a 3rd place finish.

“Never Gonna Give You Up” was also recently immortalized in a great scene from Family Guy in which Peter and Brian go back in time in a spoof of the first Back to the Future movie.  During the dance scene, (4) Brian plays “Never Gonna Give You Up” where Marty McFly played “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry in B2TF.  It led to one of my favorite TV show lines to randomly quote out of context:

“Hey Rick, it’s your cousin Marvin.  Marvin Astley.  You know that mediocre, generic sound you’ve been looking for?  Well listen, to this!”

Below is the video from the Family Guy episode, only its sped up double-time…which makes it even funnier. Come to think of it, Someone needs to the post “Never Gonna Give You Up” in double-time one of these days.

Moving on, an underrated reason why “Never Gonna Give You Up” trumps “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” is that (5) Rick Astley himself conjures up so many hilarious celebrity comparisons. If you’re ever at a party and you hear a Rick Astley song, all of the following are good for a hearty guffaw from the people you’re with:

• “Man, what’s up with that guy? He looks like the love child of Zack Morris and Archie Andrews (from the Archie comics).
• “So that’s what Cam Cameron did before getting into coaching.”
• “Every time I get to the end of this video I halfway expect Astley to do a David Caruso and pull of his sunglasses CSI:Miami-style then say something like ‘That was a music video…80s style.”

Other feathers in the cap of “Never Gonna Give You Up: Rick Astley’s dance moves (6) are the definition of “white guy rhythm”…tell me you’ve ever seen arm gyrations that more are more perfectly expressive of a song…and his matching denim get-up in the picture above (7) is only a few undone buttons away from being straight out of a Kelly Kapowski daydream.

And finally, Astley has incredible supporting characters in “Never Gonna Give You Up”.  There’s (8) the bartender who is so excited to be included in the video that he ends up following Astley outside, taking off his pants, and jumping into a fence.  And there is also (9) the cross between Rod Belding and Vanilla Ice with the killer dance moves who spontaneously breaks out into exuberant whiteboy breakdancing.

All in all, a truly amazing video.  But is it better than “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey?

Reasons Why “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey is better:

To help settle this debate, I decided to get an outside perspective.  I asked Trey Parker and Matt Stone if they like Steve Perry or Rick Astley better.  You can probably imagine their response:

And, of course, Journey gets bonus points because (2) Rick Astley never was introduced by Hawk Harrelson to help the White Sox celebrate a World Series victory:

But now let’s get to the specifics of the video. While Rick Astley’s side-to-side shuffle with his expressive arm movements is inspiring, it pales in comparison to (3) the choreographed intensity of Journey.  (By the way, this video doesn’t autoplay like the Astley one, but just hit play and it will start from the correct timestamp.)  Plus, we have to (4) give Steve Perry credit for being so intense about this song that he simply cannot sing it without dramatically closing his eyes.  I never felt that same sense of passion and commitment from Rick Astley.

And what is Rick Astley doing now? (No, he’s not this guy, although they might have the same choreographer.) Journey, on the other hand, (5) is still alive and kicking, and amazingly they found a new lead singer that literally sounds exactly like Steve Perry:

The song title also (6) gives Journey an edge. As we all remember from the 80s, songs that include a portion of their title in parentheses are just better and more important than songs that don’t. Remember Cutting Crew and “(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight?”  Seriously, if you made a song in the 80s and it didn’t have parentheses in the title, it just wasn’t that cool.

I keep getting sidetracked.  Back to the video itself.  In certain shots, like in the screenshot to the right, (7) you can’t tell whether or Steve Perry is a man or a woman.  It’s a combination of the hair, the mom jeans, the goofy sleeveless shirt, and the way he’s standing.  Let’s see pretty boy Astley pull off that kind of misdirection.

And “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” features a (8) quintessential 80s haircut and dramatic editing techniques that keep you on the edge of your seat.  Plus, according to legend, it was so cold while they were filming the video that Steve Perry was seen “retreating to his camper on-site to keep warm.”  This (9) makes his insistence on wearing the sleeveless shirt all the more admirable and impressive.

So far it looks like we are tied. Nine reasons for each video why it is better than other.  What shall we use as the tie-breaker?  

How about letting the songs themselves decide it.  

And if that’s the case, Journey smashes Rick Astley hands down.  Say what you will about the video for “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)”, and it is quite possibly the cheesiest 4-and-a-half minutes in music history, but it’s still a pretty good song.  If you’re driving and it comes on, you know you’re turning it up and singing right along with Steve Perry.  If “Never Gonna Give You Up” comes on without the video to laugh at, you’re changing the station immediately (if you don’t just drive yourself off the road first).

So in our first 80s Faceoff, the video for “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey narrowly edges out the video for “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley.  What do you think?

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Click here for the latest updates on the suspended World Series Game 5

The Boston Red Sox proved that the ALCS is still very much alive with a thrilling 8-7 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays tonight. Tampa Bay led 7-0 heading into the bottom of the 7th inning, but the Red Sox rallied to score 7 runs over the next two innings and then won the game on a JD Drew RBI in the bottom of the 9th inning.

The Red Sox victory tonight forces the series back to Tampa Bay for Game 6 on Saturday, when Captain Clutch Josh Becket, a consistent playoff stalwart before this season, takes on James Shields. I love James Shields and I love this Tampa Bay team. Once my beloved White Sox were eliminated by the Rays, they became my surrogate team to root for in this year’s playoffs. And I know that Josh Beckett struggled mightily in his last outing. However, if you had a gun to your head and had to pick a winner of this game could you possibly pick against Josh Beckett?

One bad ALCS start does not erase the indelible memories of Josh Beckett dominating the New York Yankees as a rookie for the Marlins, or the many clutch postseason starts he has made for the Red Sox. Tampa Bay has proven that they will not wilt underneath the pressure of the moment, and that they are more than capable of reaching the World Series. Personally, I just don’t think they can do it against Josh Beckett again (assuming he doesn’t, you know, come down with a blister on his finger in the first inning or something — and yes, I still hold some bitterness from past fantasy baseball seasons.)

A Red Sox victory would force a decisive Game 7 on Sunday and pit John Lester against Matt Garza. I’m not making any predictions on a game that isn’t guaranteed, but I have this bad feeling that Tampa Bay missed their shot to close the Red Sox out tonight. The heart and experience of a champion is difficult to overcome once they have some momentum. The Red Sox now have momentum, and it will take everything these young Tampa Bay Rays can muster to close this series out even though they are at home.

Now, you may be asking, what does the Red Sox-Rays series have to do with Midwest sports? Well, let’s get to that.

While doing a random perusal of ESPN.com after the game ended, I noticed the picture to your right, and I have to say that I take exception to the headline used by ESPN.com tonight. The headline: “Don’t Stop Believing.” I’m not quite sure, but if memory serves me correct I believe another baseball team nicknamed “the Sox” already used that phrase to describe a thrilling playoff run.

Yes, the Chicago White Sox — back in 2005. For proof, or just for a pleasant trip down memory lane for White Sox fans, click on this beautiful link right here. You can also see the incomparable Steve Perry singing live at the White Sox World Series rally by clicking on this cheesy, but still exciting for White Sox fans, link here.

I realize that the Red Sox had nothing to do with ESPN.com’s headline choice. But there is a part of me that sees this as some sort of jinx for the Red Sox. “Don’t Stop Believing” will forever be linked in the baseball world to the White Sox 2005 championship run. Who did the White Sox beat in the first round of the playoffs in 2005 during their run of supreme of belief? The Red Sox. And every White Sox fan I have talked to is pulling for the Rays now that the White Sox are out of the playoffs. Thus, the karmic power of “Don’t Stop Believing” is now directed towards the Rays, not the “other Sox”.

If anyone should be branded with label of unyielding belief, it should be the Rays. They believed enough to overcome a franchise history of complete failure to reach the spot they are in now. And I just have this feeling that such second-hand association with this sublime phrase is going to be counter-productive for the Red Sox. Am I making sense? Probably not. But I think the Red Sox may just have won the series with their victory tonight, and I don’t want to see it happen. So now I’m grasping for straws to make myself believe that James Shields and (ugh) Matt Garza can overcome Josh Beckett and John Lester.

Plus, I manage this blog with one simple philosophy: anytime I can pimp the White Sox winning the World Series and justify playing a cheesy video of Steve Perry, I do it. Mission accomplished.

Now let’s just hope the Rays can go out this weekend and accomplish their mission. Because who the hell really wants to see the damn Red Sox and their annoying fans win another World Series?

[tags]boston red sox, tampa bay rays, chicago white sox, mlb, baseball, steve perry[/tags]