Upon taking an innocent stroll down the Reddit front page tonight I happened upon a headline that read “Look who I found in my mom’s old high school yearbook.” Naturally curious, though not noting at the time that the post was from r/sports, I clicked on the link, which was posted by user SuperJezus (who I have yet to confirm nor deny is Tim Tebow).

And who do I find at said link but everyone’s favorite sports curmudgeon Anthony “Tony” Kornheiser.

Here is the pic:

Image source: Imgur

A number of things stand out at first glance:

First, Kornheiser was once young. This can sometimes be hard to imagine. Now we have a picture confirming it.

Second, Kornheiser once had a full head of dark hair. This too can sometimes be hard to imagine. But, again, now we have a picture confirming it.

Third, it looks like “T.K.” knew what he wanted from the beginning. He wanted to be a lawyer or a journalist. Seeing as how he parlayed a successful journalism career into arguing sports on the radio and now on TV, I’d say he succeeded.

Fourth, Kornheiser hated math and swimming then, and he surely hates them now.

Fifth, he knew early on that he “likes to make others laugh.” While this has worked out well in his newspaper, radio, and PTI gigs, it didn’t go over so well on Monday Night Football. (Dennis Miller would probably tell him not to worry about it too much.)

Sixth, he likes victory parades. That’s just…awesome, though I wonder if he still shares that feeling.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Kornheiser, so stumbling upon this picture was a particularly fun moment of serendipity for me. I believe it also now trumps this glorious picture as the youngest picture of Kornheiser on record:

Image source: Dandy Koufax

Now hopefully one day an elementary school photo of Kornheiser will appear. Until then, his high school yearbook will have to do.

As he says: “You’re only young once, but if you play it smart, once is enough!” I’d say Tony Kornheiser played it very smart. He traded youth and hair for a gig almost any of sportsblogging folk, and probably most sports fan, would kill for.

Well done Mr. Tony. You da man.

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Update: Our buddy SuperJezus – he’s not Tebow, I checked, but he does appear to be on Twitter (@jessedgoldberg) – just emailed me a couple more photos of Kornheiser. Enjoy.

You know, in that last picture, he does somewhat resemble Tony Reali, no?

I know Duke alum Seth Davis — one of the worst prognosticators on earth, despite spending every hour of his privileged life obsessing about 19 year olds bouncing an orange ball –  and others at CBS have picked against Butler every time this and last March (until perhaps Saturday, since BU played another so-called “mid major”).

Butler won every game – sans the three inch decision versus Duke one year ago tonight. (A game I attended)

After Kentucky & Connecticut set basketball fundamentals back 50 years with one of the most undisciplined, schoolyard style, poorly-played, terribly-coached second halves in tourney history Saturday night, the cliche elites are saying “Kemba Walker is too good for Butler.”

Seth Davis, who’s never missed a chance to pick against Butler the past two tourneys, told Sporting News Radio this morning, ”Kemba Walker won’t let Connecticut lose.” Yeah, Sethy, because Shelvin Mack, Ron Nored and Matt Howard have definitely proven they’re willing to let Butler lose over the years.”

Foolish.

Yeah, I guess Kemba Walker is just too darn good. Maybe Butler should go home? After all, Duke was supposed to beat Butler by 30 last April, as was Michigan State before them…and Kansas State, Syracuse, UTEP, et al.

Then, three weeks ago, Seth and the gang told us all that ODU was easily going to take out Butler this year in round one. They were “too big and tough.”

Do these pompous “experts” ever show contrition and apologize? Never. That’s who they are. No doubt Charles Barkely will say, for the 6th time, “Butler is going to get worn down in the second half.” And for the 6th time, Chuck will be WRONG.

Apparently, Ashton Gibbs/Gary McGhee (Pitt), Jordan Taylor/Jon Leuer (Wisconsin), Parsons/Tyus/Walker/Boynton (Florida), and Jamie Skeen (VCU) weren’t good players either… that’s why Butler beat them!?

I bet Butler has absolutely no idea how to stop a tremendous player from “having his way” on offense. They cannot contain “talented, athletic bigs.” They “just got lucky.” One year wonder…er…two year wonder!

Butler is “too small.” Oh yeah, they’ve outrebounded EVERY team this tourney — despite the “size disadvantage.”

Bullocks. I’ve watched this team for five years.

This morning, another ESPN Duke grad, Jay Bilas, said Butler was “going to have a hard time stopping UConn’s fast break…’ Dick Vitale (honorary degree from Duke & UNC) was coming on “Mike and Mike” next to “tell us who will win.” Yeah, he has a great track record of predicting winners in March. Thankfully I arrived at work, so I missed Dukie V.

I guess when you have a job for “The World Wide Leader in Sports,” research and facts are completely irrelevant. Guys, did you bother to notice VCU had 0 fast break points against Butler. Z-E-R-O!?!?

So that’s why I ONLY read sports (and news) blogs, especially local ones. They have honesty, insight, depth and (usually) objectivity…and amazingly, most bloggers like me and those I know have other full time jobs, yet report more accurately than those who “work” in the industry, making six and seven figure salaries.

These same ignorant, arrogant, mean, wrong-headed coastal elites who run the “news” media’s sham operations (with their pretentiousness, condescension and intolerance toward anyone in any part of “the other part of the country” who dares disagree with them (and be correct factually!)) clearly run the sports media too. Can you imagine all the Northwestern/Syracuse/Maryland/Columbia grads working in Bristol tonight, trying to be “objective”?

These guys were all “boys” when they were classmates as undergrads at those “J-Schools.” They probably knew New York Post’s Jay “Yankees-Phillies 2010 World Series battle seems inevitable” Sherman or Yankee Broadcaster Michael “this 2010 ALCS is over” (after New York’s Game One win at Texas) Kay. So don’t expect any apologies or contrition from these losers. They were never taught humility in school or as adults, and they’ve certainly never been friends with anyone “outside their circle.” I know their ilk all too well.

It’s pathetic. The only story they keep running is “Why doesn’t Stevens want to go to a bigger school?” (How about another “Hickory Hoosiers Hinkle” article, Andy Katz?)

Listen for ONCE, and learn something at last:

Brad Stevens is at the BEST program in college basketball the past two seasons! Did anyone else make the national finals two years in a row recently? How many tourney games have your beloved “big time coaches” won recently? And yet the humble Stevens (wrongly) lauds them — because he has something you’ll never have: CLASS. That’s what comes from being a hard-working, unselfish, pious Midwesterner.

It’s not about the money for everyone. Some people have pride, dignity and morals. You clearly don’t get that with your Pitinos, Boeheims, Lavins, Caliparis, Calhouns, John Thompsons, Jay Wrights, Roy and Gary Williamses, and other “get me the best athletes at any cost” crooks.

Re the article linked above, imagine the audacity (and hilarity) of some Yahoo Sports editor in his New York City office assigning that article AGAIN & AGAIN.

“Dan, we have to keep writing about it. It’s appalling that he’d stay in Indianapolis when he can come be an (overpaid corrupt) coach in the (overrated) Big East or ACC.”

Butler will win. ESPN and the east coast media schmucks can mutter cliches and falsehoods that most of their audience will nod along too, but here’s actual rationale based upon FACTS as to why

Thus UCONN, like their annoying, whiney and cocky women’s team/coach — with their pseudo “streak” — that was ‘upset’ by a team from INDIANA last night, will lose. And if I’m wrong, for just the second time in 12 tourney ganes, unlike Seth Davis, ESPN and the eastern media, I’ll admit it.

Period. The guys here at Midwest Sports Fans have been correct far more often than ANY of you this season. You’all in the media (and along the coast) wrote them off in January. Nice ‘journalism’ there. Dan Rather, NewsweekMagazine and NPR, among others, would be proud.

Screw the east coast media. (And I rarely swear, but they have it coming. They disgust me.)

It’s time to make a desperate ploy, fellow media members. Time to turn to an age-old method to get attention: Super-hot chicks.

This has been creeping up on us for a while. Us men used to keep our two favorite things –women and sports–separate. The SI Swimsuit edition was a completely separate issue that came once a year. It was fun, and had nothing to do with sports. The lines weren’t blurred. Then our local sports pages started getting sprinkled in with car ads sporting hot bods and mini skirts.

Sex sells.

Fox’s Best Damn Sports Show Period will dedicate an entire episode to a Hooters beauty pageant. I’m not saying I wouldn’t watch, but if I want sports, give me sports for crying out loud! Call it what it is.
Mainstream sports websites like www.cbs.sportsline.com, and especially www.si.com, dedicate plenty of room to the hotties. Features like “Which celeb chick is hotter?” or “Vote on which athlete looks better half-naked” have become Internet staples that come as a side dish to our sports information consumption. It’s become a part of the equation.

The sports sites are starting to become man-sites. The message is: “Guys, we give you tons of reasons to come to our site! Get your sports and your women all in one place.” The lines have definitely blurred.

Since the internet is the future, are we going down this road and never looking back?

Right now, the major shows and websites are still trying to walk that fragile line of subtlety. Just a small bit of the hot babes sprinkled in with the sports info. I say, why pretend to make it subtle? If sex sells, and you are using that to get readers and viewers, why not go all the way? Why not give us more chicks with our sports…WAY more.

That’s the future anyways, right?

I say don’t stop. This could save the local sportscast, which has been disappearing from some newscasts. Fellow sports anchors like myself could sprinkle in still shots of Baywatch and Maxim babes in between each highlight.

Here’s how my Mariners highlights could look and sound like:

–ANCHOR ON CAMERA—
Good evening, The Ms at home tonight…

(–TAKE VIDEO–)
To the first inning, Ichiro homers. 1-0 Mariners! What a great play! And now we take a look at Pamela Anderson. (cut to still shot of her in red bathing suit)

Moving on to the third inning, Beltre strikes out again. Hey, Yasmine Bleeth sure looked hot in 2001! (cut to a still shot of her)

Eighth inning, the Ms put the game away. Ichiro a double! A run scores! He’s the only guy on this team who isn’t terrible! Here’s someone not terrible…Megan Fox! (cut to hot Fox picture)……”

Think more viewers would turn in? If our brains have been preconditioned the last few years to expect babes and sports together…my plan is crazy enough to work.

Sports pages could have an article about a game, and the accompanying picture wouldn’t be from the game, but a sexy shot of Eliza Dushku. The caption would read “This hot babe had nothing to do with the Packers game, but she’s nice to look at!” That might put a jolt into the dying newspaper industry, right?

I’m gonna go cry now about the state of journalism…right after I google some Megan Fox pics.

* – Megan Fox photo credit: Maxim

[Editor's Note: Thank you for writing this article Scott.  It provided the perfect excuse to include a picture of Megan Fox, thus making Midwest Sports Fans one of the last sports blogs to feature its first picture of Fox. Also Scott, please don't take offense that we replaced your headshot on the front page.  You're great and all, but I guarantee the Fox pic drives more click-throughs to the article...thus proving your point I guess.]

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Scott Reister is a featured contributor to Midwest Sports Fans, as well as Dallas Sports Fans.

He is a Sports Anchor for the NBC affiliate in the Tri-Cities and Spokane, WA. To learn more about Scott, visit the Scott Reister bio page on Midwest Sports Fans or check out the Local Sports page on KNDU.com.

To contact Scott: sreister@hotmail.com