If one were to analyze the strategy behind this post through a political prism, it would be described as “playing to the base.”

If you look at MSF’s profile on Quantcast, you will see that 73% of our visitors are male and 67% of our visitors are between the ages of 18 and 49. If I had to guess – and to be clear, this is just conjecture – I would feel comfortable going out on a limb saying that the vast majority of that vast majority probably enjoys looking at pictures of attractive women.

And, to take the conjecture just a bit further, I bet the vast majority of that vast majority would particularly enjoy looking at pictures of attractive women who were once off the market but are now back on, if for no other reason than to be able to feel like Lloyd Christmas for one glorious moment. (So you’re telling me there’s a chance!)

So fellas, this post is for you, and it comes with this exciting bit of news: both Shakira and Scarlett Johannson are now single.

So yes, to all the single dudes out there reading this, I’m telling you there is a chance. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Why couldn’t you be the next significant other or even just rebound fling? Seriously damnit, why not?

It is times like these when I harken back to the spirit of the words said by the great Bruce Dickinson on a glorious Saturday night many years ago: Shakira and Scarlett Johannson put their pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. And it’s true! Well, okay, at least it’s true when they wear pants, and there is ample evidence below that they do not always or even often wear pants,…but still! Even if they do make gold records once their pants are on…or off…go for it! What have you got to lose?

So, now that you’re sufficiently inspired, the question is: who are you going after? Shakira or Scarlett?

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