Sarah Palin Wins Presidential Election, Barack Obama Third

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Sarah Palin to be the winner of the 2008 Presidential Election.

“Palin started with some important early victories beginning with her election as Mayor of Wasilla, and followed with decisive conference wins in the election for Governor of Alaska and the nomination for Vice President. Her only losses came against Katie Couric and Tina Fey, however considering her strength of schedule, the computers determined her season worthy of a true number 1.

When asked about the number 3 ranking for Senator Barack Obama, the BCS commissioner stated “Obama really only had 2 major victories. Those victories were over Hillary Clinton in the Primaries and John McCain in the general election. The BCS computers don’t consider head to head victories like humans do. Those victories are still only viewed as a single game with equal weight to other games.”

President-Elect Sarah Palin commented on her massive upset. “It was tough after those two late losses to Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson, but I defeated Romney for the Vice President nod, and he was ranked as the BCS number 2 in preseason.”

Romney, after the high expectations in the preseason, dropped out of the top 10 and ended up narrowly beating Senator Barney Frank to finish at 11. Senator Frank, who was unable to overcome the shattering losses to the Economic Crisis and Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly, was unable to remain in the top 25.

John McCain’s ranking of 5th has also come under question. The BCS commented “John McCain had a major loss to Senator Barack Obama in early November. If the loss had come earlier in the season, say September, McCain maybe could have recovered, however, similar to Texas Tech, McCain just lost too late in the season.

As expected, Senator Joe Biden finished in the number 2 spot, making him the Vice President of the United States.

For those who missed it, here is the replay of the crucial Franks loss to O’Reilly in week 7.

Authors Note- Obviously, none of this is true, but nevertheless, be thankful that the flawed BCS is only used for college football.