Anyway, there isn’t much to say about Luck for this week in looking back; but we can look forward.

This Saturday, December 10th, the Heisman Trophy will be awarded. Later today, the finalists will be announced, and everyone rightly assumes that Luck will one of them. Other names likely to be included are Robert Griffin III, Trent Richardson, and hopefully Montee Ball of Wisconsin.

We will have a complete preview of this year’s Heisman later in the week, but I’ll say right now that I don’t think Luck will win.

He won’t win, in part, because there were so many other outstanding individual players – namely the aforementioned three – in college football this year.

Luck also won’t win because his play and overall numbers fell short of the outrageous expectations that were placed upon him before the season and throughout, especially as the concept of “Suck For Luck” was discussed and written about by idiot bloggers in their mothers’ basements.

And Luck also will not win because in his biggest game, against Oregon, he wasn’t transcendent; he was merely good, but he he needed to be great.

Still, Luck had an incredible season, and I look forward to seeing he and Stanford take on Oklahoma State in the Fiesta Bowl. It will be an up and down the field kind of game, and it should be a great final college showcase for Luck before the Indianapolis Colts make him the #1 pick in the 2012 NFL Draft.

With that in mind, let’s quickly count down the suckiest of the sucky in this week’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings.

NFL Suck For Luck Power Rankings: Week 14

1. St. Louis Rams (2-Suck)

That’s right, for this week the Rams are taking over the top spot. I’m sick of piling on the Colts, and you know what? Indy did beat the spread last week, so at least they won something. St. Louis, on the other hand, well, they couldn’t beat an egg with a bowl, a fork, and a counter. They are awful. (As was that egg thing…so it fits.)

Remember when the Rams beat New Orleans? How the hell did that happen?

St. Louis didn’t advance past the 49ers’ 45-yard line all day. Not once. Consequently, they scored zero points. They have also made me look like an absolute fool because I have continued ranking them better than their record dictated, thinking they’d turn it around in the second half of the season. Nope. They just keep sucking.

Maybe it’s karma for the Cardinals coming out of nowhere to win the World Series. Seriously. I wonder if some St. Louis sports fan (this guy perhaps?) made a deal with the devil late in August exchanging any semblance of competitiveness from the Rams for the Cardinals to make the unlikeliest of unlikely World Series runs.

Well, do you have a better explanation?

Oh, well maybe you do.

Or perhaps the explanation is that Rams’ supposed franchise QB (seen below sporting his Von Miller starter kit) hasn’t really developed yet into a franchise QB.

Nah. I’m not ready to give up on Bradford yet (though he should give up on those glasses.)

2. Indianapolis Colts (1-11)

Yes, yes, I know the Colts are officially 0-12, but I am giving them a mercy victory. They were 20-point underdogs to the Patriots and only by lost seven points after a 21-point 4th quarter closed the Patriots’ lead to 31-24.

Occasions when nice things can be said about the Colts have been rare this year, so I’m taking this one.

Now, here is a picture of Jim Caldwell receiving electroshock therapy.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-8)

This team is in utter collapse mode, and I don’t see any way Raheem Morris gets another year. It will be interesting to see how they bounce back next year. There is talent on the roster, but are there enough leaders to form it into a cohesive team?

Maybe Joe Maddon wants to coach football?

4. Minnesota Vikings (2-10)

There is no great shame in losing to Tim Tebow and the Broncos, but you are what your record says you are, and 2-10 is 2-10. Plus, that defense is utterly atrocious. When did the Vikings just completely forget how to cover in the secondary?

Also, here is an important question to consider after Tim Tebow faced off against Christian Ponder:

Image source: Reddit

5. Chargers/Jaguars Loser

6. Chargers/Jaguars Winner

Real barn-burner you’ve got tonight ESPN!

7. Philadelphia Eagles (4-8)

Do you realize the NFC West may just be better than the NFC East this year?

The 49ers are clearly the best of the 8 teams, while the Rams are the worst. But the Cowboys have now been beaten by Arizona and Seattle took care of the Giants. Perhaps the NFC East is still slightly better, but it’s close. And who would have thought that coming into the season?

8. Cleveland Browns (4-8)

They should probably be higher, because they are really, really, really, ridiculously bad – maybe the worst 4-win team in NFL history – but many of my friends are Browns fans. So consider this a mercy ranking.

9. Carolina Panthers (4-8)

They have certainly looked better the last two weeks, but they’ve also played Indy and Tampa Bay, so let’s not get too carried away.

Also, if you missed it, make sure you watch this.

10. Buffalo Bills (5-7)

Another week, another loss for the franchise that will probably go down as the worst team to ever start a season 5-2. Remember that?

Others receiving votes: Washington, Kansas City, Oakland, and Dallas – the last two because, well, those were a couple of awful losses last week.

I’ll give Miami, Seattle, and Arizona a reprieve this week after all scored nice victories in Week 13.

*****

Please submit your gripes below. They are always welcome.

But today, the phrase “suck for Luck” has nothing to do with a certain NFL team losing game after game and positioning themselves for the #1 pick. Rather, it has to do with the Nike Pro Combat unis that Stanford wore Saturday night.

Which sucked.

Photo credit: AP Photo/Paul Sakuma via ESPN.com

I’ve seen some bad version of the Nike Pro Combat unis (Georgia’s immediately come to mind), but these may the worst. Black helmets? Black numbers? For Stanford? I suppose the jersey itself isn’t bad, but nothing about it says Stanford. And, um, isn’t that what jerseys are supposed to do?

I have a solution.

We need to get this guy on the case:

Seriously, can you imagine the indignation if this bro had seen that Stanford-Notre Dame game? He’d have downed the entire bottle of 1800 by halftime because of those uniforms.

Whatever happened to men, Michael Imperibroli? Nike. And it’s Pro Combat Uniforms. That’s what.

Now drink up while I break down the NFL’s top/bottom 10 in the race to draft Matt Barkley or Robert Griffin (if they go pro) since the race to draft Luck is pretty much done.

NFL Suck For Luck Power Rankings: Week 13

—–

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-11)

Breaking news: the Colts lost again.

Here is their remaining schedule. You tell me where a win might come from: at New England, at Baltimore, vs Tennessee, vs Houston, at Jacksonville.

• They sure as hell aren’t beating New England or Baltimore. In fact, they might lose by a combined 100 points.
• I suppose they could beat Tennessee, but the Titans should still be alive in AFC South race then.
• Houston at home is a possibility depending on their QB situation, and if they have the AFC South clinched, but I think the Texans could win just direct snapping it to Arian Foster.
• Week 17 at Jacksonville is a possibility because any team quarterbacked by Blaine Gabbert could lose to any team quarterbacked by anyone else – even you, dear reader.

So, with nothing else really to say about this sorry sack of a Manning-less team, here is a picture of Curtis Painter doing one of the few things he does better than Peyton Manning: carrying laundry.

Photo credit: USA Today

2. St. Louis Rams (2-9)

That’s it. I’m done with the Rams. And they still have to play San Francisco twice! If you own Steven Jackson in fantasy, trade him. Trade him now.

3. San Diego Chargers (4-7)

A bunch of the other craptastic teams won this weekend, so we’ll bump the sorry Chargers all the way up to #3. When you start out 4-1 then lose six straight games, each in excruciating fashion, you get rewards like this.

It’s safe to say that the Norv Turner Era will soon be ending in San Diego, and all 16 of their die-hard fans must be thrilled with that news.

In honor of the Chargers’ rapid ascent up these Suck For Luck Power Rankings, here is the most disturbing image of Philip Rivers on the first page of a Google Image search for his name:

Image source: Pyromaniac

Ah, what the hell. Here’s another one:

Image source: Pyromaniac

My apologies in advance for any nightmares you have tonight.

4. Carolina Panthers (3-8)

Let’s not carried away with excitement here. You beat Indianapolis, and you allowed them to score 19 points. And congrats on running all over them, but everyone does that.

5. Cleveland Browns (4-7)

The Browns jumped out to an early lead over the Bengals, only to give it away to the clear #1 football team in the state of Ohio (since Ohio State is down this year).

But hey, at least Peyton Hillis was back! Maybe now he can start to recapture the magic of 2010. Assuming, of course, that he doesn’t get anymore sore throats or have any more shotgun weddings.

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-7)

The Bucs have now lost five in a row, and they actually make the Colts looks suffocating against the run. Chris Johnson hasn’t been able to juke a brown paper sack this year, yet he racked up 190 yards against the Bucs on Sunday.

The only question for this team now, with the playoffs clearly out of the question, is does Raheem Morris make it to next year? If the Bucs want to have any hope of not squandering the talent they’ve accumulated, I say the answer is no. We’ll see.

7. Philadelphia Eagles (4-7)

Yes, I think the Vikings and Dolphins, among others, would beat the Eagles right now. That is how bad this team is playing. Their coaches are yelling at eachother on the sidelines, Desean Jackson isn’t blatantly short-arming catch attempts, and good players are getting injured one right after another.

Side note: when Andy Reid gets his walking papers at the end of the year, and it’s becoming likely that he will, some team looking for a head coach (hello Dolphins!) better snatch him up quickly. I’ll agree that perhaps it’s time for a parting of the ways in Philly. Sometimes that happens, even to good coaches. Sometimes change is needed. But it doesn’t mean Reid is no longer a good, perhaps even great, NFL coach. I don’t think he’d stay unemployed for long.

Now, apropos of absolutely nothing, here is a video of a hippo releasing a little pressure after a second helping of Thanksgiving dinner.

8. Minnesota Vikings (2-9)

Yes, the Vikings have now replaced the Rams as the team I irrationally support despite their record. But seriously, the Vikings have played decent football in hanging tough at Atlanta without Adrian Peterson and almost coming back to beat Oakland. Can you honestly tell me you don’t think Minnesota could beat the seven teams above them on this list?

9. Seattle Seahawks (4-7)

You lose at home to Rex Grossman and the Redskins, you make this list. It’s as simple as that.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-8)

Frankly, I kind of forgot about the Jaguars. Had I remembered them, I probably would have placed them in the 4-6 range because Blaine Gabbert sucks so much. But out of deference to the great Maurice Jones-Drew, who continues to play hard and churn out tons of yards in losing efforts, I’m going to keep the Jags here.

Seriously though, watch Gabbert in the pocket anytime anyone gets near him. He freezes up and braces for contact instead of standing in there like a man and delivering a throw (which I obviously would do if I were a professional football player). I wonder what Michael Imperioli would have to say about that after a few shots of 1800 tequila.

Honorable mention: Kansas City Chiefs (4-7), Washington Redskins (4-7), Arizona Cardinals (4-7), Buffalo Bills (5-6).

Honestly, all four of those teams deserved mention. There is a pretty clear line between the top 18 teams in the NFL and the bottom 14. So congrats to everyone who made this list! You officially suck.

**********

The Cowboys final opponents are Miami, Arizona, New York, Tampa Bay, Philadelphia and New York again.

Image source: NFLTouchdown.com

Let’s get one thing straight. I am not a disciple of Tony Romo. I think he is a great quarterback, but not an elite quarterback. His numbers tell you he is, but he seems to crumble under pressure. I will go with the Cowboys because I looked at the Giants and Eagles schedules. Wow.

The Giants schedule goes like this: New Orleans, Green Bay, Dallas, Washington, New York Jets and Dallas. That is absolutely brutal. Maybe they win three of those, and that is optimistic.

The Eagles schedule goes like this: New England, Seattle, Miami, New York Jets, Dallas and Washington. They could win three of those games, but don’t overlook the Redskins, who always rise up to play well against divisional rivals and the Seahawks, who are pesky and have already beaten the Giants and Ravens.

The Redskins schedule…doesn’t matter. They have Rex Grossman as their quarterback (and this guy gesturing…signals?). They will not win the division.

The Cowboys have found an established running game with DeMarco Murray, who looks like he gets shot out of a cannon at times, and Miles Austin will return. Until then, Laurent Robinson has filled in nicely. Don’t forget you still have Dez Bryant and Jason Witten, along with a Rob Ryan defense.

I feel confident the Cowboys will represent the NFC East in the postseason and proceed to be promptly eliminated in the first round.

Don’t buy it.

No, Luck was not his usual spectacular self on Saturday night. He was 27-41 for 256 yards, 3TDs, and 2 INTs. Those are very good numbers, but not the other-worldly stats we’ve come to expect from the NFL’s Next Great Quarterback.

Still, I saw something from Luck on Saturday night that told me a lot about the kind of leader he is.

Late in the game, with the Cardinal needing a touchdown drive to cut the deficit to one possession, Luck threw a perfect strike to his wide receiver. Unfortunately, his receiver let the ball slip right through his hands, it deflected to an Oregon defender, and likethat Luck had thrown a pick 6 and the game was over.

How did Luck respond? Exactly how you’d want your leader to respond.

He immediately found the receiver – a freshman – on the sidelines and gave him an attaboy tap on the helmet, letting the clearly distraught freshman know his QB has his back.

Kirk Herbstreit pointed this out, and I concurred with the Prince of College Football’s statement that this was a great show of Luck’s leaderhsip. On a night when Luck was far from the perfect quarterback – he was merely very good as opposed to transcendent – he remained the perfect leader. For a quarterback, that’s an indispensable trait to have.

And I explain all of this to you for one reason: so Colts fans can feel better about their team frittering away what I thought was their last good chance to get a W. Colts fans, don’t listen to the unhype about Luck after Saturday. He’s still an amazing prospect. And he’s almost surely going to end up in Indianapolis now.

NFL “Suck For Luck” Power Rankings for Week 11

Here are this week’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings, which I post before Monday night’s game between the Vikings and Packers.

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-10)

I contemplated making this a one-team list and just calling it the Suck For Luck Power Ranking, because only the San Francisco 49ers and Green Bay Packers have bigger leads in their respective divisions than the Colts have in the Suck For Luck division.

What’s sad is that I actually thought the Colts would play well this week, what with it being their best chance to nab a W for the rest of the season. At a minimum I thought they’d keep it close and find a way to cover the three point spread. Instead, they lost 17-3 behind another porous effort from Curtis Painter.

At this point, I don’t really know what to say about the Colts. They are historically bad. A friend of mine on an email convo I’m privy to ran some geek numbers and figured out that the Colts are actually trending worse than the 2008 Lions team that finished 0-16. That’s not good.

All in all, I’d rate the Colts’ team performance this year at about, oh, 30 courics.

And here is the thought that just popped into my head immediately after realizing that Stan Marsh’s climactic deuce is the perfect metaphor for the Colts in 2011: the Colts angered the football gods a couple of years ago when they shat on the possibility of going undefeated, resting starters the final two weeks of the year after opening up with a 14-0 record, and they’ve been paying the piper ever since.

The gut punch loss in the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning’s injury. Everything about this season. If you can find reasonable evidence to suggest that pissed off football gods haven’t had a hand in this, please present it. (I don’t think you can.)

2. The NBA (0-2011)

No other team truly deserves to be #2, so I’m giving it to the NBA, which remains embroiled in a nasty lockout that isn’t really showing any signs of being solved soon. This means, of course, that Tyler Hansbrough cannot be a cure-all for the city of Indianapolis.

Whatever.

Frankly, I’ve always been a much bigger college basketball fan than an NBA fan, and I never really start paying attention to the NBA until after the new year. I know many of you do, so I hope it ends soon, but I’m kind of excited that what I think is going to be one of the best college basketball seasons in a while will get some extra attention.

3. Cleveland Browns (3-6)

I respect my Browns fan friends too much to post video of the missed field goal that sealed yet another crushing loss. (Plus, I just searched for it on YouTube and couldn’t find it within 10 seconds, which is my threshold for searching for something on the Internet before I give up.)

Instead, I’ll just post this video of Mike Polk, which all Browns fans can, unfortunately, relate to.

See you next week.

4. St. Louis Rams (2-7)

The Rams are still a game worse than Cleveland, and really should have lost that game, so it’s hard to put them too far behind Cleveland, especially when many of the other teams who would be in contention for this spot won.

I still like the Rams moving forward, still think they can get some Ws, and maybe Lady Luck smiling down upon them can start some positive momentum building.

Now, in St. Louis-related news that St. Louisians will actually care about, friend of MSF Matt Sebek (he of Joe Sports Fan) reported this weekend that “the (alleged) Photoshops of Albert Pujols in Miami uniform are starting to trickle out.” Here is one of them:

YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

5. Carolina Panthers (2-7)

Whoa…what was that Carolina?

I have been firmly on this team’s bandwagon so far this season, but I was not expected a putrid performance like that against Tennessee. With so many other teams on this list winning last week, I can’t justify ranking any of them above the Panthers. Let’s hope that’s not a sign of how Camolina is going to finish what has been an otherwise very promising season.

6. Washington Redskins (3-6)

The Redskins were 3-1 at one time. They have now lost five in row, culminating in yesterday’s 11-point loss to the surging Miami Dolphins. This loss was compounded by Mike Shanahan pissing off every fantasy football owner Sunday morning by announcing that Rex Grossman and Ryan Torain would start over John Beck and Roy Helu.

And why would Shanahan do such a thing? Because he can. And because he loathes your very existence on this earth, you pumpkin-pie haircutted, fantasy football playing freak.

Of course, he also apparently hates winning now too, so don’t feel bad.

As for Redskins fans, there’s always golf.

Image source: Jim Grant via Deadspin

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-5)

When, exactly, did this team win four games? My lasting impression of them is getting hammered by the 49ers and then pulverized yesterday by the Texans. Their combined margin of loss in those two games: 7,541 points.

Do you realize that Tampa Bay, despite having four wins, is one of only four teams in the NFL with a point differential of minus-70 or more? This supposed young team on the rise is much further away that people thought, and there were several times yesterday when I looked up at the Bucs-Texans game and thought Tampa Bay had just quit on a play.

But I’m sure that once Albert Haynesworth gets more assimilated into the locker room his unyielding effort and motor will rub off on his teammates and prevent any further quitting.

8. Kansas City Chiefs (4-5)

Why am I putting another 4-win team on this list before the many 3- and even 2-win teams who would seem more deserving? Because, like Tampa Bay, Kansas City is one of the four teams with a point differential of minus-77 or more. And over the last two weeks the Chiefs have been beaten by 28 points by a previously winless teams and lost a division game in which their opponent completed…two passes.

In the wake of the Chiefs’ latest collapse, the always magnanimous Todd Haley was nice enough to record a message for all Chiefs fans expressing his commitment to delivering a good football team for the rest of the season.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-6)

The Jags probably shouldn’t have plummeted this far in the rankings after a win over Indy, which is so inevitable it should barely count more than a tie. But the Jags do play good defense, and I would pick them to beat any of the teams above on a neutral field. Like the Dolphins, I have to give the Jags credit for continuing to play hard. Jacksonville may not be very good, but you can’t say they are underachieving.

Unlike…

10. Philadelphia Eagles (3-6)

The Eagles actually have a positive point differential on the season (+17), mostly because of their demolition of the Cowboys a few weeks back. But when you’re supposed to be a “Dream Team” and you’re 3-6 after a home loss to a team quarterbacked by John Skelton, you have to be on the list of the 10 worst teams in the NFL.

By the way, I now view this picture in a completely different light after the events of this weekend.

Image credit: Carolyn Caster via Lehigh Valley Live

Just missed: Miami Dolphins (2-7); Minnesota (2-6); Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals (3-6)

For the record, I am shocked that I got through these rankings without the Dolphins, Seahawks, and Cardinals making it. But you know what? I think they’ve earned it. All three of those teams have continued playing hard and are winning some tough, close games. That’s much more than I can say about the other teams on this list, all of whom Suck…but clearly only one team is doing it for Luck.

**********

Now your thoughts. Where am I right? Where am I wrong? The comment section awaits your ire and indignation.

In my opinion though, the hardest thing is staying in the present.

What do I mean?

Well, not only do you have to keep track of all of your players -  every rookie, waiver wire guy, and breakout performer on both your regular teams and weekly fantasy football teams – but you also have to be able to forget about the past and the future.

Who cares if Fred Jackson was bad last week…how will he do THIS week?

I know LeGarrette Blount’s prognosis for the rest of the year looks bleak…but can he give me one more week of solid production?

Most importantly, you have to remember that nobody can be perfect; and no matter how much you know, sometimes the athletes just have bad days.  (Yes, Jerod…I’m talking to you.  I will take my Tim Tebow, Fred Jackson, and Julio Jones predictions with me on my way to a big time network.)

[Editor's note: FINE! GO! I presciently told some people to sit Vincent Jackson and DeMarco Murray with very solid reasoning last week...you think I'm worried about losing YOU and your successful picks? HA!]

In all seriousness though, making predictions is quite hard…especially when you know it’s impossible to hit every pick out of the park.  Fortunately, I was on the money last week, nailing almost 75% of my picks.

Once again, I have to thank Verizon for helping me get there.

As you know, Verizon has hooked me up with a pretty sweet deal.  As part of our agreement, they have given me a Droid Bionic, equipped with NFL Mobile.  No matter where I am, I have instant access (on unbelievable 4G LTE speeds) to every fantasy player on my team.

Once again, I can’t talk about this enough.  Every time a new piece of technology comes out, we all ask ourselves the same question: “Is this REALLY going to be worth it?”  Sometimes, the new creation is called the iPad…and it revolutionizes everything.  Other times, it’s the iPad 2…where a company basically changed a device’s color, put a sticker, and made you waste $600.  When I heard about 4G speeds, I didn’t think twice about it.  I figured it was all a scam, and a waste of money.  Boy was I wrong.  Every time I watch my wife pull out her old-school Blackberry, and simply try to pull up google, I laugh at her.  Then, I get annoyed.  In a world full of impatient people, 4G speeds have made me a happier person.

Anyways, Verizon has helped me to stay current, and even better they have offered the MSF readers something spectacular:

Let me just repeat that again to make sure you noticed:

Verizon is offering YOU something AWESOME.  

One lucky MSF fantasy reader will get TWO free tickets to this weekend’s Colts/Jaguars game in Lucas Oil Stadium. All you need to do is comment on the bottom of this page in order to enter.

Yes, it’s as easy as asking a start/sit question about your fantasy team, which you probably were going to do anyway.

Just be sure to tag your comment with #indy so we know you can actually go to the game if you win.

Scroll to the bottom for more details, but believe me you won’t want to miss this crazy awesome opportunity.

As always, we begin this week’s post with a quick recap of last week’s picks.  (And also, don’t forget: the Raiders and Chargers play this Thursday Night, so make sure you set your rosters now!)

Last Week’s Picks: 16 for 22 (73 %)

• Hits: Matt Ryan, Tim Tebow, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, Joe Flacco, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Ben Roethlisberger, Michael Turner, Fred Jackson, Julio Jones, Antonio Brown, Steve Johnson, Nate Washington, NE Wide Receivers, Jake Ballard, and Scott Chandler
• Misses: LeGarrette Blount, Beanie Wells, Roy Helu, Plaxico Burress (by a half-yard), Dustin Keller, and Vernon Davis.

Once again, “Start Em” guys are QBs/TEs outside of the Top 12 and RBs/WRs outside of the Top 25. “Sit Em Guys” include QBs/TEs that are in the Top 12 and RBs/WRs that are in the Top 25.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Quarterback

Start Em QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick (@ Dallas)

Is Dallas’ defense better this year?  Yes.

Has it regressed in recent weeks?  Yes.

Is their passing defense still below average?  Yes.

Is Fitzpatrick coming off of a rough week and ready to showcase his Harvard pedigree?  Who knows.  I think he is.  And I think that he’s a must-start this week.

Ryan Fitzpatrick fantasy football Week 10 projection: 290 yards, 3 TDs.

Other start ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Mark Sanchez – Not that he’s good…but New England’s pass defense is BAD.
• Philip Rivers – Very favorable matchup against a reeling Oakland defense.  Hey, you would be reeling too if your coach just traded TWO #1 draft picks for Carson Palmer.
• Tony Romo – He’s been pretty good at home this year, and Buffalo’s pass defense is atrocious.

Sit Em QB: Jay Cutler (v Detroit)

I actually REALLY like Jay Cutler.

I think he’s a really good quarterback, and he’s incredibly underrated for reasons that are completely unrelated to his actual play on the field.  Unfortunately for him, his offensive line has been, let’s just say…below average this year.  And in Week Ten, he will be matched up against the Detroit defensive line that is coming off a bye.

Yikes.

Jay Cutler fantasy football Week 10 projection: 240 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs.  8 sacks.

Other sit ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Andy Dalton – He’s good…but Pittsburgh’s pass defense is better.
• Eli Manning – As I’m sure Jerod will note, San Francisco MIGHT have the best defense in the league…Eli might not be ELI-TE this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

I like Ryan Fitzpatrick this week, but I don’t want to take him out for Valentine’s Day dinner, get down on one knee, and give him a ring…as you seem to want to do. Fitzpatrick has actually thrown 3 TD passes in a game twice this year, but both came in the first two weeks of the season. The league has caught up to Buffalo since them. Fitzpatrick is a solid start at QB, but hold off the Washburnian marriage proposals.

I’m fine with sitting Cutler against Detroit. The Lions’ D-Line is at least 5X better and tougher than the Eagles’, so I can see this game going much, much differently.

As for Eli struggling against the 49ers, yes I think it will be tough for him. Still, I think Eli is a borderline top-10 QB this week because the way to beat San Fran is through the air – you do not run on them – and frankly, Eli deserves as much respect as any non-Aaron Rodgers QB in the league this year. So sit him at your peril.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Running Back

Start Em RB: DeAngelo Williams (v Tennessee)

Coming off a bye, Williams will be fresher than he’s been all year.  He’s also playing a Tennessee defense that is ranked 23rd in the league against the run.  With an increased emphasis on stopping Cam Newton, I expect the Panthers to respond by pounding it out on the ground just like old times.

I actually like Jonathan Stewart this week as well, but I expect DeAngelo Williams to have a big game.

DeAngelo Williams fantasy football Week 10 projection: 140 total yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• All starters in the Kansas City/Denver game
• Michael Turner – Atlanta really likes to pound the ball on the ground against the Saints in order to try and control the clock.  Expect Turner to have a great game.

Sit Em RB: Jahvid Best (at Chicago)

He’s a little banged up, and he’s been slipping a lot lately.  The fact is, if not for a few lucky home run plays the last few games he played, Best has been a huge disappointment.  Plus, he only has 3 TOTAL TDs this season – even with Megatron’s unbelievable dominance and all.

I don’t trust Best against Chicago this week at all, even if he somehow plays.  Expect the Lions to throw it…a lot…and be successful.

Jahvid Best fantasy football Week 10 projection: 45 total yards

Other sit ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• Knowshon Moreno – HE’S NOT GOOD!!!
• Patriots’ RBs – The Jets will make NE completely one-dimensional this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

Loyal MSF fantasy readers, I cannot in good faith endorse DeAngelo Williams as a start in all but the most desperate of circumstances. Just know if you start him that DAW has had one – one – useful fantasy week all season (Week 5 v New Orleans…thanks to one big run). So trust Washburn at your own peril on this one.

As for Jahvid Best, well I can’t let this go without some lampooning, now can I? Jon, you realize you’re telling us all to sit a guy that is widely expected not to start anyway, right?

Best is dealing with yet another concussion, a problem he’s had since college. It’s sad, because he’s a talented player, but I don’t think he’ll ever be able to reach his potential because of injury.

Regardless, Best is a guy to consider dropping, not just sitting, so don’t give Washburn any bonus points next week if he correctly predicted a fantasy football invalid to be worthless.

And finally…sit Knowshon Moreno??? Really? Was that before or after Willis McGahee almost single-handedly spurred the Broncos to victory last week while Moreno had 8 total yards?

Come on Jon. You’re better than these picks; and I only feel comfortable honestly calling you out because I know our readers like you and respect you and will demand more from you.

Besides, honesty and candidness is the MSF way.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Wide Receiver

Start Em WR: Steve Breaston (Denver)

He’s quietly having a solid season, and Denver’s pass defense is very mediocre.

Look for Champ Bailey to cover Dwayne Bowe all day, and look for Breaston to run wild in the process.  This isn’t to say that Bailey will shut down Bowe; actually, I’m trying to point out that a mildly washed up Champ Bailey is Denver’s BEST defensive back, which is good news for KC WRs.

Steve Breaston fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 90 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em WRs for Week Ten:

• Josh Cribbs – He is having a randomly solid season as well…and he should put up some nice numbers against St. Louis.
• Pierre Garcon – This week might be Indy’s best chance for a W all season.  Look for “the waiter” to have a solid day against Jacksonville.

Sit Em WR: Deion Branch (@ NY Jets)

At this point, if you are still starting New England wide eeceivers not named Wes Welker, you are DEFINITELY not staying current.  However, just in case, don’t start Deion Branch.

Darrelle Revis does NOT do a great job of defending the slot, so he will probably be matched up with Branch all day.  I shouldn’t have to say anything else.

Deion Branch fantasy football Week 10 projection: No catches

Jerod’s thoughts:

I guess we don’t get any other potential sit ‘em WRs this week? Geez Jon; I know you’re distraught about the NBA lockout, but there is no reason to take it out on our loyal fantasy football readers.

Here you go folks…here are a few normally startable WRs that you may want to think twice about:

• AJ Green and the Bengals finally face a good defense, the Steelers. Be wary. The last elite defense Cincy faced was when San Fran shut Green down to the tune of 4 catches for 29 yards.
• You know I like Brandon Lloyd for the balance of the season, but I could see him struggling a bit this week in a low-scoring affair against Cleveland in which Joe Haden will surely be draped all over him.
• Mike Williams has six catches in each of his last three games for Tampa Bay, but he’s averaging less than 10 yards per catch over his last four. Last year’s TD machine isn’t producing TDs, and while I continue to profess patience with him, I’d be okay with you placing the burden of proof on him.

As for Jon’s picks, I think Breaston is a solid option at WR this week, and Deion Branch is a weekly wild card; but with Tom Brady and New England’s offense struggling, I too would sit Branch against the Jets and Revis.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Tight Ends

Start Em TE: Jake Ballard, New York Giants (@ San Francisco)

San Francisco’s defense is VERY good, especially at shutting down opposing running games. Ballard should get a lot of touches in Week Ten as Eli will probably have to throw but still be under pressure much more than he was this past week. Plus, he is gaining trust with Big Play Ballard by the week.

Jake Ballard fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 60 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em TEs for Week Ten:

• Brandon Pettigrew – Chicago has a rough time defending TEs.

Sit Em TE: Dallas Clark (Jacksonville)

May he Rest In Peace.

Dallas Clark fantasy football Week 10 projection: 1 reception, 10 yards, 0 TD

Jerod’s Thoughts:

Hmm…well since Dallas Clark reportedly has a “significant leg injury” I suppose that’s a pretty good Sit ‘Em pick, though I hope you won’t take credit for that as a “hit” next week.

As for Ballard, I continue to like him, so I endorse that start ‘em pick, and I think Brandon Pettigrew could have success against the Bears like Brent Celek did last week.

As for the potential misses in Week 10, I continue to look at Jermichael Finley with skepticism because he just isn’t that involved in the Packers’ offense. He wouldn’t be in my top 12 TEs for this week, and I think you’d be well within your right to place a “prove it” tag on him.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Defenses

[Editor's note: the rest of this post is written by Jerod.]

Start Em Defense: Miami Dolphins (v Washington)

The Dolphins have played better than their record, and their defense showed a lot in last week’s drubbing of the Chiefs. Kansas City isn’t a great team this year, but they can be explosive on offense. The Dolphins wouldn’t let them. This week they face a John Beck-led offense that could do nothing more than dump off to the running back last week against San Francisco.

Miami Dolphins fantasy Football Week 10 projection: 14 or fewer points, 3 or more sacks, 1 or more turnovers

Other Start em D/ST units for Week 10:

• I know that Philly’s D has let you down this year, but against John Skelton and the Cardinals it could be very worthwhile to start them this week.
• The Detroit Lions get to face the porous Bears’ O-Line. Please tell me you aren’t fooled by the Eagles going sackless against them Monday night; the Bears O-Line remains not very good.

Sit Em Defense: Cincinnati Bengals (v Pittsburgh)

I just have a bad feeling that the Steelers are going to exact revenge on Cincy for Sunday night’s loss to Baltimore. I think a major part of it is that I don’t totally trust the Bengals’ D yet. They are good, but are they great?

Big Ben, Mike Wallace, and Antonio Brown can take full advantage of a good-but-not-great D, and I have a feeling that is what will happen here.

Cincinnati Bengals fantasy football Week 10 projection: 21 or more points, 2 sacks, 1 turnover

• Houston’s D has been great this year, but I just have a feeling they will underperform your expectations against a desperate Tampa Bay team in Tampa.
• Stay away from the Saints’ and Falcons’ defenses in Week 10. I would not be surprised if 70+ points are scored in that game.

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There are your start em, sit em picks for Week 10 of the fantasy football season. You know the drill from here. Read ‘em, digest ‘em, and then ask about ‘em. The comment section awaits your lineup-specific questions below.

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Even though the Bears come into this game as the underdogs to most people, I’d say the pressure is on Philadelphia to win this game. The Eagles are at home against a team they’re “supposed” to beat, so it’s their job to go out there and do just that.

The Bears, on the other hand, know that they’re not going to catch Green Bay (who is?), but they have a relatively easy schedule ahead of them, making a wild card run possible.

Bears-Eagles Preview

The Bears like being called the underdog, and a lot of people like calling them that. That’s why this team continues to surprise people in games in which they’re supposed to lose, yet also why it’s sometimes frustrating to be a Bears fan.

Julius Peppers is having a quiet but effective second year in Chicago. He and the ever-aging Bears defense go against a very speedy Eagles offense. Some say that the Bears will never stop Michael Vick, but the past says otherwise.

Vick is actually 0-3 as a starter against the Bears. He has a 76.2 passer rating, has only rushed for 117 yards with no touchdowns, he has been sacked 15 times, and has thrown four interceptions in five games against Chicago. So the Bears have stopped Vick in the past, but can they stop the rest of the Eagles offense?

One of those other Eagles players is running back LeSean McCoy, who had a season-high of 185 yards and two rushing touchdowns last week. Mccoy has consistently been a threat in the backfield and is approaching Adrian Peterson-level respect.

But the Bears have a running back of their own who is also approaching Peterson’s level as being as big a threat as any player in the NFL. His name is Matt Forte.

To put it simply: Forte is the Bears offense. They live and die by Forte, as he leads the team is rushing and receiving. Sure, Jay Cutler has his moments of dominance, but that’s only when the offensive line decides to do their job, which is still sporadic enough for me to not trust it completely.

Cutler doesn’t affect the game like Forte does. It’s very hard to see the Bears winning any game without Forte on his game, unless the defense causes 3-4 turnovers.

Bears-Eagles Prediction

Neither of these teams has been consistent enough to say that either team is the obvious favorite in this game, but I have to give a very slight edge to the Philadelphia Eagles. I have a feeling Vick is finally  going to have some success against an older Bears defense.

But then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bears come into this game fresh out the bye week and tear into this Eagles defense. They’ve surprised me plenty of times before.

Eagles 27 – Bears 24

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Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles

• Bears-Eagles Date, Time, and TV: Monday, November 7th at 8:30 ET on ESPN
• Bears-Eagles Announcers: Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, and Ron Jaworski
• Bears-Eagles Point Spread: Eagles -9
• Bears-Eagles Over-Under Odds: 47

Without question, the story of the first half of the season (other than this) has been the ascent of the Detroit Lions.

They went 0-16 three years ago, then 2-14 in Jim Schwartz’s first year, then 6-10 last year; and now halfway through their 2011 slate Detroit, sitting at 6-2, is a bona fide contender in the NFC. And the Lions aren’t just an empty record either. They have the skill, attitude, reputation, and right now the health (knock on wood) to suggest that they aren’t going away.

So in honor of the Motor City Mufasas, and their roaring wreakers of wreckage Ndamukong Suh and Calvin Johnson, I give to you my Midseason NFL Power Rankings, with each team presented alongside a Motown classic that sums up the first half of its season.

The great Berry Gordy and Ndamukong Suh

1. Green Bay Packers (7-0) – “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder

After an uneven regular season in 2010, the Packers caught fire all the way to the Super Bowl. Along the way, Aaron Rodgers nudged his way into the Manning-Brady-Brees stratosphere of NFL quarterbacks.

Through seven games in 2011, the Packers haven’t missed a beat, and Rodgers has catapulted himself into the rarest of air: the undisputed #1 quarterback in football, and he’s on pace to complete the most efficient statistical season a quarterback has ever had.

As Stevie sings:

Lovers keep on lovin’
Believers keep on believin’
Sleepers just stop sleepin’

…

Gonna keep on tryin’
Till I reach my highest ground

Indeed, the Packers/Rodgers lovers and believers need to keep doing what they’re doing, and any remaining sleepers need to wake up to the reality that Rodgers is the best player in football.

If he hasn’t already reached the highest ground, it’s going to be amazing to see just how deadly the Packers’ offense is once he’s there.

2. San Francisco 49ers (6-1) – “Reach Out, I’ll Be There” by The Four Tops

Know this about the resurgent 49ers and their badass first year head coach Jim Harbaugh: at the end of the game, reach out and he’ll be the there…ready to shake your head after kicking your team’s butt. (Just try not to take it personally.)

And in case you needed any more reason why this is the perfect song choice for the 2011 take-no-prisoners 49ers, pay attention to the lyrics. Replace “girl” and “darling” with “Alex” (for Alex Smith), “I’ll” with “We’ll”, plus a few other subtle changes, and it might as well be a pregame Harbaugh speech to his much-maligned but improving QB.

Now if you feel that you can’t go on,
Because all of your hope is gone,
And your life is filled with much confusion,
Until happiness is just an illusion,
And your world around is crumbling down, Alex,
(Reach out) Come on Alex reach on out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
We’ll be there with a running game that will shelter you,
We’ll be there with a defense that will see you through,

See what I mean?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

I’m not sure what that was from Pittsburgh in Week 1, but it was most certainly not the real Steelers that we’ve come to know and appreciate.

Over the Steelers’ last four games though, we’ve started to see the real Steelers emerge again, just with a little more passing than running, and it’s been a good reminder that in the NFL there ain’t nothing like the real thing; and it doesn’t get much more real in professional football than the Steelers.

4. Detroit Lions (6-2) – “Just My Imagination” by The Temptations

For years, decades really, Lions fans have had to watch the success of other franchises and pretend it was their own. Losing season after losing season, all the Lions had was their imagination if they wanted to cheer for a winner.

Not anymore.

Now all Lions fans need to do is use their imaginations to conjure up a future in which Matthew Stafford plays 16 games, because if he does, this team is ready to make its long-awaited return to the postseason. And they won’t be an easy out.

5. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – “I Second That Emotion” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

After the Ravens’ offense sputtered against the Jags, Terrell Suggs publicly questioned the offensive gameplan. Surprisingly, Ravens coach John Harbaugh seconded Suggs’ emotion, agreeing that Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin needed to get the ball more.

One week later Cam Cameron and Joe Flacco got the notion, and the Ravens are back to their winning ways after Rice scored three TDs and Boldin topped 100 yards receiving.

6. New England Patriots (5-2) – “It’s The Same Old Song” by The Four Tops

An offense built around their statuesque quarterback who throws 40+ times every game, without much of a running game to speak of? Check.

A defense that gives up tons of yards, hopes to be “bend but don’t break” as a best case scenario, and is undeniably poor in the secondary and at rushing the passer? Check.

Sound familiar? That’s pretty much what the Patriots have been for the last three seasons, and for the last three seasons they’ve underwhelmed fans and pundits alike once January has rolled around. I’m struggling to find any reason to think this season will end any differently.

7. New Orleans Saints (5-3) – “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye

I don’t really feel like New Orleans deserves to be ranked this high, especially after what we witnessed from them last week and in their recent loss to Tampa Bay. Sandwiched in between those two defeats, however, was a thorough ass-kicking of the Indianapolis Colts; and anytime you beat another NFL team 62-7 it means, well, something.

The Saints still have Drew Brees, they still have weapons galore on offense, and they still have Sean Payton calling the shots. This outfit won a Super Bowl not too long ago, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt…for now. But they need to figure out what’s going on before far too many mothers, brothers, and fathers in The Bayou are left crying from another debacle like that loss to the Rams.

8. New York Giants (5-2) – “Ball of Confusion” by The Temptations

Is any good team more of a ball of confusion from year to year, week to week, and even quarter to quarter than the New York Giants? No.

Yet despite the ups and downs, here are the Giants sitting atop the NFC East with Eli Manning playing the best football of his career. Go figure.

9. Houston Texas (5-3) – “It Takes Two” by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston

The song choice for the Texans is obvious from the first two lines:

One can have a dream, baby
Two can make that dream so real

For a while now, the Texans and their fans have had dreams of going to the playoffs, but unfortunately they only had one side of the ball that functioned competently. Not anymore. Wade Phillips has taken a defense that was an embarrassment last year and made it respectable, even weathering the loss of Mario Williams.

It does indeed take two – an offense and a defense – to make playoff dreams real. Could this be the season it finally happens in Houston?

10. Buffalo Bills (5-2) – “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by The Temptations

The “papa” of these young Bills is head coach Chan Gailey, and he has indeed been a rolling stone during his coaching career. Buffalo is the 19th different coaching job Gailey has had since 1974. I know how transient of a profession coaching can be, but that is a lot of moving around.

Regardless, he has these Bills on the right track, sitting atop the AFC East.

11. New York Jets (4-3) – “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” by The Four Tops

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not sure the Jets have earned this high a spot in the rankings. They are on a two game winning streak, but beating the Dolphins and the apparently hapless Chargers isn’t all that impressive. Still, the Jets and their bombastic head coach cannot seem to help themselves: they always talk, they always struggle for parts of seasons, yet they always get it going when the weather gets cold. They’ve made two straight AFC Championship Games, so we can’t count them out yet.

(Note: there are also plenty of jokes that could be made in reference to Rex Ryan enjoying slices of sugar pie and handfuls of honey bunch, but I’ll refrain. Who do I look like…Joe Namath?)

12. Philadelphia Eagles (3-4) – “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” by Steve Wonder

I know that fans in Cincinnati and all over the AFC West and NFC South are going to be apoplectic at the under-.500 Eagles being 12th above their favorite teams, but what can I say? This team is loaded with talent, and I think they’d beat all of the teams below them (including more than a few above them) if they played right now.

So, Philly fans, what are you so uptight about? As long as you’ve got Andy Reid, everything is all right. Until the playoffs at least…

13. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) – “Shotgun” by Jr. Walker and the All Stars

I predicted that the Falcons would miss the playoffs before the season started, and I’m not backing off that prediction at all, though I have been impressed by their last two victories.

During the offseason, the Falcons tried to remake their offense from a tank into a shotgun with the hyperathletic Julio Jones added to the team at a high cost. It appeared early on that Ryan and the Falcons were trying to justify the cost while forgetting about their bread and butter: Michael Turner.

Things have changed.

Turner is back leading the offense and the Falcons are winning. The question is how long can Turner withstand another season of pounding. We’ll see.

14. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

The Bengals had to deal with QB turmoil all offseason, limped into the regular season with rookies leading them at QB and WR, have had to deal with Cedric Benson’s continued legal troubles, and they lost corner Jonathan Joseph in the offseason. Also, certain Midwestern sports bloggers predicted the Bengals would finish with the worst record in the league. Yet all Marvin Lewis and the Bengals have shown is that there ain’t no football mountain high enough to keep this underrated team down this season.

At least so far.

Cincy’s wins are against Cleveland, Jacksonville, Buffalo, Seattle, and Indianapolis, and they still have four games coming up against Pittsburgh and Baltimore. This is why I’m not sold on the Bengals and have them at 14th. But if they can keep climbing mountains, this could be the most unlikely playoff team of 2011.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) – “Since I Lost My Baby” by The Temptations

The Chiefs have reeled off four straight wins since I ranked them #1 in my inaugural Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, a winning streak that has moved them all the way into a first place tie in the AFC West. This has Chiefs fans seeing sun shining (yes, plenty of light), a new day dawning (so sunny and bright), and even birds signing and children playing.

But the reality is that without young stars Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki, all of whom the Chiefs lost early in the year to season-ending injuries, the Chiefs’ chances of going any further than they did last year – a first round playoff blowout – are slim to none.

16. San Diego Chargers (4-3) – “Hello” by Lionel Richie

It’s fitting that the Chargers are one spot behind the Chiefs, because they were one successful QB-center exchange away from beating them last night.

If I had time, I would create a YouTube video with the ball Rivers’ fumbled away singing this Lionel Richie ballad to him. It’s the kind of thing the Internet was invented for. Can’t you just see the ball rolling around on the ground plaintively singing these words to Rivers while the QB laments his “worst day ever“:

Hello!
Is it me you’re looking for?
’cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

17. Oakland Raiders (4-3) – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations

The Raiders are a hard team to figure out right now since we have no idea a) what they will get from Carson Palmer and b) if their offensive workhorse Darren McFadden can stay healthy enough all year to keep the pressure off of Palmer.

But we do know one thing: the Raiders were not begging nor pleading for anyone’s sympathy once Jason Campbell went down. They slept on Mike Brown’s doorstep and even let everyone laugh, because they wanted Carson Palmer any way they could get him. Now they have him, and we’ll see if they can just keep winning, baby.

18. Dallas Cowboys (3-4) – “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

Did the Cowboys even have a Week 8 game? They did? Really? Because the only time I saw a Cowboy show up last week is Tony Romo when he announced that he and his new wife are expecting.

So since I have nothing constructive to say about Dallas’ no show on Sunday night, let’s honor the soon-to-be parents. Take it away Marvin.

19. Chicago Bears (4-3) – “You Keep Me Hanging On” by The Supremes

I tend not to trust teams that have severe offensive line issues, which is why the Bears fall towards the back of the teams bunched at 3-4 wins.

I also wouldn’t trust the Bears if I were Matt Forte, who I think is much closer to Adrian Peterson than Chris Johnson in terms of being deserving of a new contract. Can anyone blame Forte for feeling like the Bears are just keeping him hanging on? I mean really Jerry Angelo. If you’re not going to #paytheman, set him free why don’t ya?

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3) – “Brick House” by The Commodores

Tampa Bay was another supposedly up-and-coming team that I didn’t trust heading into the season. They’ve scratched together four wins, but they have looked pretty bad along the way at times.

So in honor of the bricks they’ve thrown up against San Francisco and the first half of the Chicago game in London, not to mention Josh Freeman’s 10 interceptions, here are The Commodores singing about bricks in a much different context.

21. Minnesota Vikings (2-6) – “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie

You know that Adrian Peterson is called “AD” because he can run all day long. Now that Minnesota has handed the reins of its offense over to rookie Christian Ponder, Peterson may have to run all day and all night long to help ease the rook’s transition.

Peterson is more than capable, and the Vikings – who have played better than their record – are more than capable of winning 4-5 of their remaining games if Ponder can just provide adequate play under center.

22. St. Louis Rams (1-6) – “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

No, I’m not insane. I’m well aware that before last weekend’s trouncing of the Saints, the Rams hadn’t beaten anyone and hadn’t even really come close. Just consider me to be buying low on the Rams, and when they finish with 5-6 wins, remember that you heard it here first.

You can’t hurry a connection between a new offensive coordinator, an offensive line, and a young QB, but Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get everyone on the same page. Having Brandon Lloyd will help, and having a leader like Steven Jackson to make sure no one mails it in will also keep these Rams on a forward trajectory all season.

23. Carolina Panthers (2-6) – “ABC” by The Jackson 5

Am I drinking the Cam Newton Kool-Aid after 8 games? You’re dadgum right I am, so much so that I came up with 20 teams who, hypothetically speaking of course, should trade their QB for right now for Newton.

I did not think Newton would have an easy transition to the NFL, but he’s made playing quarterback look as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What he has not found so easy to do yet is win, but that will come. He needs more experience and a better team around him, but the Panthers are a team on the rise that no one will want to face in the second half of the season.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-3) – “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder

In case you were wondering, no, I’m not sold on the Titans.

A win over the Colts does not impress me, nor did the Titans’ previous two non-competitive games against Pittsburgh and Houston. This team was looking good when Kenny Britt was around and emerging as a top receiver, but they seem lost without him.

But hey, at least Chris Johnson is signed, sealed, delivered, and yours, right Tennessee? Or not…

25. Cleveland Browns (3-4) – “Money (That’s What I Want)” by Barrett Strong

In case you hadn’t heard, money is what Peyton Hillis wants. He is not, however, willing to play through strep throat or maintain community commitments in his quest to leverage one partial good season into, apparently, $10 million per yer.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on the guy. If I were a running back for the Browns, against whom defenses can load up eight men in the box on every play, I might not be so motivated to play either.

26. Washington Redskins (3-4) – “Mercy, Mercy Me” by Marvin Gaye

When your only quarterback choices are Rex Grossman or John Beck, how can Redskins fans or even Mike Shanahan himself say anything other than mercy, mercy me?

The Redskins got off to a fast start this season, but things ain’t what they used to be. With such putrid play under center and so many injuries on offense, a turnaround doesn’t appear to be coming. Redskins fans will just have to keep wondering where did all the blue skies go?

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) – “Shop Around” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

So the Jaguars beat a disinterested Baltimore team in a defensive slopfest a few weeks back. So what?

This team is still going nowhere fast, and even the one positive Jags fans might have been able to take from this season – that the team had finally found a franchise QB – doesn’t seem to be coming to fruition. Based on what I’ve seen from Blaine Gabbert so far this year, I’d say to the Jags that they’d better shop around.

28. Seattle Seahawks (2-5) – “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5

In Pete Carroll’s first season, the Seahawks made an improbable run to the second round of the NFC Playoffs thanks to playing the in the terrible NFC West. No one in the NFC West seemingly did much to improve themselves in the offseason (who saw the 49ers run coming?), so what does Seattle do to keep the forward momentum going? They get rid of Matt Hasselbeck to turn their most important position on the field over to Charvaris Jackhurst.

Think they might want Hasselbeck and his 89.2 QB rating back now?

29. Arizona Cardinals (1-6) – “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” by Jimmy Ruffin

In Super Bowl 43, the Arizona Cardinals indeed became the brokenhearted when Ben Roethlisberger’s pass connected with Santonio Holmes in the corner of the end zone. So what becomes of the brokenhearted in football, who had a good QB who’s now departed? Everything goes to hell and a handbasket, apparently.

After your borderline Hall of Fame quarterback retires and you suffer through an awful season with basically no QB, you know you’ve got to find some kind of peace of mind for your All-World wide receiver. So you overpay for a guy who hasn’t proven he can be a competent starter, he doesn’t get any better, and all the while your defense gets worse and worse.

So, again, what becomes of the brokenhearted? In the case of Cardinals fans, you just go back to how things were before.

30. Denver Broncos (2-5) – “Dancing In The Streets” by Martha and the Vandellas

No matter what happens at the end of the Tim Tebow experience, they’ll be dancing in Dennnnnnver…and there will still surely be opinions everywhere.

Either fans of Tim Tebow will be dancing because he’s proven his worth as a starting QB in the NFL, or the Johns Fox and Elway will be dancing because they can jettison Tebow and get a QB who fits their ideal.

But either way, dancing.

31. Miami Dolphins (0-7) – “Stop! In The Name Of Luck!” by The Supremes

Do you see what I did with the title there?

This is what every Dolphins fan is imploring their team to do every time they have a promising drive or a second half lead. So far, the Dolphins have proven to be epic failures in the 4th quarters of games, which may just be the best thing for the franchise’s future.

Though the players and coaches don’t want to hear it, nor should they, Dolfans and owner Stephen Ross would like the team to stop coming so damn close to winning, and they certainly would like the Colts to stop losing…all in the name of Luck.

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-8) – “Where Did Our Love Go?” by The Supremes

Yep, two straight songs by The Supremes to end it. And why not? At this point I’m not convinced that on the football field Diana Ross and The Supremes would do any worse that Curtis Painter and The Colts or Matt Moore and the Dolphins.

So many lyrics snippets from this song could very well be things that Colts players have uttered verbatim during one of their eight horrific losses this season, with the their plaintive utterances directed at either Peyton Manning or their fans, who abandon them more and more with each demoralizing loss.

Baby, baby
Baby don’t leave me
Ooh, please don’t leave me
All by myself

…

Now that I surrender
So helplessly

…

Where did our love go
And all your promisses
Of a love forever more

You get the idea.

But if all Colts fans have to endure in between decades of success with franchise QBs is one terrible season, I and many others will resent them more than we already do.

###

There are my rankings, and each team’s corresponding Motown classic.

As always, I encourage your agreement, disagreement, and constructive criticisms below, both for the rankings and the song choices.

And now, because it’s one of my all-time favorite Motown songs but I couldn’t find a great team to assign it too, I’ll send you off into the comment section with one more classic tune from the great Marvin Gaye.

This is a question I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past several weeks, as I continue to be more and more impressed (and surprised) by how well Cam Newton is transitioning to the NFL in his first season.

Cam Newton’s Impressive Start

Frankly, I did not think that Newton was going to become a good NFL quarterback. I certainly did not think it would happen this quickly. But this is why I blog about the NFL in my underpants while typing with Cheetos-stained fingers and other people get paid to scout and draft players*.

* – Of course, plenty of people who do not blog about the NFL in their underpants with Cheetos-stained fingers, and who get paid to scout players, agreed with my assessment about Newton. This just goes to show how inexact a science scouting quarterbacks can be. Except for this guy.

As good as he’s been,nobody is ready to put Cam Newton into Canton yet. It takes more than 8 statistically strong games to classify someone as an elite QB, especially when six of those games have resulted in losses.

In fact, we’re going to learn a lot about Newton over these final 8 weeks while the Panthers essentially “play out the string” and Newton is forced to endure the first losing season of his football career. Leading your team in spite of adversity is one of the most important attributes for a successful NFL QB. We’ll see if Newton has that ability. So far he’s given us no reason to doubt him.

Certainly there is no reason to doubt Newton’s physical skills. He is passing for nearly 300 yards per game (299.1), completing 60.6% of his passes, and has thrown 11 touchdown passes against 9 interceptions. Those are solid numbers for any quarterback, let alone a rookie, and they are made even more impressive when his superlative running stats added to the discussion: 5.1 yards per carry and 7 rushing touchdowns.

And the numbers don’t tell the whole story.

Whereas Tim Tebow’s numbers are not nearly as poor as you might think, and in fact compare favorably to several Hall of Famers’ stats through five starts, Tebow hasn’t looked at all like an NFL QB. Cam Newton, on the other hand, has. He’s played with poise throughout games, including late, and he’s shown that he can make all the throws. He also has shown the ability to hit guys for big plays down the field when they are a open, which is an absolute requisite skill for a quarterback in the NFL. When a QB has a chance to make a big play, it must be made more often than not; simple as that.

Newton has been far from perfect, and he has plenty of growing to do, but I don’t think anyone is anything but highly impressed with his first eight games as an NFL quarterback. Many may not have been as low on Newton as I was before the season, but I doubt anyone other than Cam himself expected this kind of success out of the gate.

And all of this leads me back to my original question: how many NFL teams would trade their QB right now for Cam Newton?

Hypothetically Speaking…

For our purposes, assume that everything is how it is (team records, contracts, rosters, coaches, etc) and that every NFL team is given the option of swapping its current QB right now for Newton. I admit that is 100% ridiculous because Carolina wouldn’t trade Cam Newton for anyone (except maybe Aaron Rodgers…), but humor me for the sake of discussion. The result of this hypothetical transaction would be Newton quarterbacking the team for the rest of this season, in place of their current QB, and then being their QB through the rest of his rookie contract.

There are a number of easy answers on both sides, teams that wouldn’t even think twice about saying yes or no:

• Automatic No: New England, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, New York Giants
• Automatic Yes: Miami, Cleveland, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Oakland, Kansas City, Denver, Washington, Seattle

I shouldn’t have to defend any of the automatic “no” choices. Each team has a Super Bowl-winning QB, and each team feels it is a contender this season. As tantalized as they may be by Newton, none of these teams would trade their guy for him. (And anyone who doesn’t think Eli deserves this kind of respect is, in my opinion, crazy.)

As for the automatic yeses, I can maybe-possibly see some saying that Tennessee and Jacksonville have “QBs of the future” in Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert, but both teams would have rather had Newton in the draft and surely would rather have him now. These and the others are absolute no-brainers to me.

Now let’s go one-by-one through the remaining teams and figure out a) if they would trade their current QB for Cam Newton, and b) if they should trade their current QB for Cam Newton, because I bet the answers won’t often be the same. Of course these are all just my opinions based on how I see each team’s situation.

As always, I encourage disagreement, discussion, and even constructive criticism. That’s what comment sections are for. And there is a poll at the end of this post so we can crowdsource some kind of consensus for the non-obvious teams.

Here goes…

Buffalo Bills – Ryan Fitzpatrick (current record: 5-2)

The Bills just locked Fitzpatrick up to a long-term contract that will pay him $24 million and keep him as the signal caller in Buffalo for at least the next 2-3 years. Considering the deal Arizona signed Kevin Kolb to in the offseason, Fitzpatrick certainly deserves this contract. He has passed for 1,739 yards this year and twice as many touchdowns as interceptions, and he’s led Buffalo to first place in the AFC East. There is perhaps concern that Fitzpatrick is playing over his head, as his current completion rate is 8 points higher than his career average, and his QB rating is 20 points higher than his career average, but Fitzpatrick also could just be showing the normal progression that a good young NFL quarterback will make.

Personally, I’m not sold on Fitzpatrick as a top-tier option for the future who can compete against the likes of Brady, Roethlisberger, and Peyton Manning If He Plays Again (his new name). Fitzpatrick is a solid guy who can transition you from one franchise QB to the next, but I don’t think he is the type of QB who will make you a winner year in, year out. Cam Newton may be. But with the Bills sitting in first place in the AFC East, and the good feelings of the contract still fresh, I don’t think they’d make the move even though I would.

• Would they? No
• Should they? Yes

New York Jets – Mark Sanchez (4-3)

This is one of the more intriguing ones.

Even though Mark Sanchez has really done nothing to show that he can or will become a top-tier NFL quarterback (54.7% completions, 41 TD:39 INT for career), he has ridden the coattails of a great defense and an above-average running game to two straight AFC title games. His coach continues to profess confidence in him, and I think would rather win with “his guy” Sanchez, or die trying, than admit he was wrong and bring in another QB…at least right now.

Simply put: I think most objective people would make this trade in a heartbeat, and maybe the Jets front office would force it to happen; but I think Rex Ryan is so dug in with Sanchez that he’d do everything to veto it and give Sanchez another chance to finish the job this year. (I’ll be curious to hear from Jets fans on this one…)

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton (5-2)

Here is another one where short-term success might lead to myopic thinking.

The Bengals are, shockingly, sitting at 5-2 with their red-haired rookie QB and glue-handed rookie WR leading the offense. The Bengals’ defense has been great so far this season, but Dalton has been far from just a caretaker. He’s thrown 9 TDs and is completing 62.4% of his passes. Dalton’s sprint out of the gate has been nothing short of shocking.

But here is where I throw a little cold water on the fire: Cincinnati has beaten Cleveland, Buffalo, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and Seattle. Buffalo is good, the other four teams are not. So do we really know how good Dalton is? I don’t think so. In his one start against a god defense this year, Week 3 versus San Francisco, he was putrid. We’ll know a lot more about Dalton after his four games against Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

Like many teams, Cincy would have jumped at the chance to draft Cam Newton, but their first place positioning in the AFC North, and the fans’ growing attachment to Dalton, plus their history of personnel ineptitude, lead me to believe that the Bengals would forgo the chance to get Newton to hang onto Dalton. It would be a mistake.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

As you can see, I have little faith in Ryan Fitzpatrick, Mark Sanchez, or Andy Dalton, at least in relation to Cam Newton; but I also have little faith that any of their teams would trade them for Newton.

This next one though might be the most intriguing of all.

Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco (5-2)

Ever since Joe Flacco has taken over as QB in Baltimore, the Ravens’ offense has been as up-and-down as any offense in the NFL. Flacco has seven games in which he has tossed three or more touchdowns. He also 24 games in which he’s thrown zero touchdowns, including four playoff games (though he often gets credited with being a “winning” playoff QB). All the while, Baltimore has had a good-to-great defense and a solid running game.

Now in his fourth year, and with just one TD pass in his last four games, can the Ravens and team leaders like Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs really still have that much confidence in Flacco? I know they call him “Joe Cool” because he never seems rattled, but that’s mostly because he barely looks like he has a pulse at times. Cam Newton also never gets rattled, but he plays with an energy and smile that are both infectious. Yes, I’m one of those who believes that how you “look” and what your body language says means something when you’re the QB. Whatever Flacco may have over Newton in experience is negated by his comatose on-field appearance.

All of this is to say that I would, in a heartbeat, trade Flacco for Newton if I was the Ravens. After the last four games, and with Lewis especially running out of time, I think the Ravens would too.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning (0-8)

Of course the Colts would trade Curtis Painter straight up for Cam Newton. Duh. But what’s the fun in that? The real juicy question would be, right this very moment, would the Colts trade Peyton Manning If He Plays Again for Newton? And the answer is that none of us have enough information to answer. It would all come down to Manning’s health.

If there is even an iota of a chance that he can come back and play at 80-85% of his previous effectiveness, Indy would hold onto Peyton. But if they doubt he ever plays again, even if he wants to and is working like the dickens to get back, wouldn’t Indy have to trade for Cam as opposed to waiting around to see if they suck enough for Luck?

Ultimately, I think the uncertainty would tip the scales in favor of keeping Manning, and that’s the right call. It feels like there is something unfinished about Manning’s tenure in Indianapolis, and though I logically know that neck injuries can end careers, I’d still be shocked if Manning never suits up for Indy again. So I can’t see Indy pulling the trigger on this move. And with the team possibly positioning itself to draft Andrew Luck anyway, there would be no reason to trade Manning before they know as much as possible about his potential comeback.

I anticipate a lot of debate and perhaps disagreement about this one. In fact, I’m already starting to disagree with myself. I better just move along.

• Would they? No
• Should they? No

Houston Texans – Matt Schaub (5-3)

I don’t think for a second that Houston would even entertain this thought, not with Schaub and Kubiak finally on the cusp of making it to the playoffs. As good/bland as Schaub may be, good/bland isn’t necessarily an awful thing for a QB to be on a team that has a great running game, an elite WR, and a strong defense. This is the first time Houston has had all three working in the same season, and Schaub is the right guy to lead them. I wouldn’t mess with what they have going right now, not with the AFC South up for grabs this year and into the future, and I don’t think they would either.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

San Diego Chargers – Philip Rivers (4-2)

Coming into this season it would have seemed laughable for Philip Rivers to be on this list, and perhaps it still is, but Rivers has thrown 7 TDs against 9 INTs this year, and it’s not like he has a Super Bowl title or many playoff skins on the wall to grant him immunity from at least entering this discussion.

Still, I doubt there is a chance the Chargers would seriously consider it. Rivers has a strong regular season track record over multiple seasons, and he has undoubtedly been hurt by Antonio Gates’ absence early this season. Just like I don’t think teams should overreact to a fast early season start and overrate their players (as may be the case right now in Buffalo and Cincy), I don’t think teams should underrate their players because of a slow start.

The irony of ironies, of course, is that the slow-starting Chargers are off to a fast 4-2 start during the season when their QB has more or less stunk. Go figure.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

Philadelphia Eagles – Michael Vick (3-4)

Another one that is fascinating to think about. The Eagles went all-in on this season and are just now starting to dig themselves out of their early season hole. As tempting as it might be to get Newton, who is similar to Vick but with 6-7 years less mileage, I can’t see Andy Reid doing it. Vick is the better choice for this season and the Eagles are in it to win it in 2011.

That said, I think Newton is showing the ability to do a lot of the things Vick couldn’t or wouldn’t do early in his career. I’d love to see what Reid could do with a guy like Newton, who is not quite the runner Vick is but who is light years ahead of where Vick was as a passer in his rookie season. Just because the Eagles picked this year as the year to go for it all doesn’t mean they should necessarily mortgage a chance to improve themselves for the long term. And is Vick really playing so well that Newton couldn’t come close to replicating him, thus keeping the Eagles in contention this year? I don’t think so.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo (3-4)

Whatever my answer is here it is sure to stir up some controversy, just because that’s how any discussions about Tony Romo are sure to go.

I’ve always been a Romo supporter, thinking that his critics didn’t give him enough credit for being one of the top 10 QBs in the league. While I still think Romo is an above average QB, I’m not as sold on him anymore as a potential champion. Sure, with the right supporting cast he could win a Super Bowl – hell, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl – but I’m no longer sure that Romo can lead a franchise to a Super Bowl, and there is a big difference.

I don’t know if Cam Newton can lead a team to a Super Bowl either. It’s way to early to even consider such questions. But we did just see him lead his college team to a championship in the toughest conference in all of college football, all while rumors and innuendo and investigations were swirling around him constantly. Newton’s got it, whatever it is, and Tony Romo hasn’t proven that he does. So wouldn’t it be worth taking a chance on Newton if you’re convinced Romo probably can’t be the guy to lead a champion?

The answer to this one comes down to your belief in Romo. I no longer believe. Give me Cam. Unfortunately for Cowboys fans, Jerry Jones probably still believes in Romo. At the least, he believes in his own ego and won’t want to admit Romo can’t get it done. Hell, he wouldn’t even trade Martellus Bennett to Cincinnati for a second round pick. Why would he trade Romo for Newton?

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford (6-2)

I considered putting the Lions in the automatic no category, but Mr. Glass didn’t deserve to be considered on par with Brady, Ben, Aaron Rogers, and Drew Brees. He hasn’t played a full season yet, and he hasn’t been so transcendent when he has played that Detroit wouldn’t at least consider the move.

I don’t think they’d do it though. Even with Stafford making way more money than Cam, he is the guy they have built around, and I don’t think the Lions would shake up the franchise that drastically when it is finally experiencing a true ascension.

As for me, I’d do it. Cam is showing that he knows how to utilize a top-fight receiver, and he he does not carry the same injury-prone reputation of Stafford. Add in the cost savings of Newton’s contract over Stafford’s, and I’d much rather have the rookie over the third year guy, even for the rest of the this year and certainly beyond.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler (4-3)

See the entry above about Joe Flacco, replace his name with “Jay Cutler” and replace “Ray Lewis” with “Brian Urlacher”. There is no reason for me to repeat myself.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Minnesota Vikings – Christian Ponder (2-6)

Ponder and the Vikings beat Newton and the Panthers this past weekend, with Ponder having his second straight impressive start. And while Vikings fans are slowly talking themselves into the Ponder Era, the reality is that the Vikings would have traded St. Paul to draft Newton last year, and as polished as Ponder seems to be both on and off the field, he doesn’t have 1/10th the physical potential of Newton. Minnesota probably should have been an automatic.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman (4-3)

Freeman was the up-and-coming superstar young quarterback coming into this season, but he has fallen back down to earth a bit through the first half of the year. His interceptions are way up, and he just doesn’t seem as comfortable or confident as he was last year, when he and rookie Mike Williams were as explosive as just about any QB-WR combo in the league.

Still, despite his struggles, I think Tampa Bay is committed to Freeman as the future of its franchise, and I know that Raheem Morris (who coached Freeman in college) believes in his young QB. Freeman is another guy who surprised me by having a smoother transition to the NFL than I thought he would. He has all of the physical tools to bust out of his current slump and still become a top-10 QB. I’d hold tight, and I think Tampa Bay would too.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan (4-3)

Like the Lions with Stafford, I don’t think Atlanta would consider making this move for more than a few seconds, but Ryan is not quite the slam dunk franchise QB that some make him out to be. He has not risen to the occasion in the Falcons’ biggest games, and he does not possess the accuracy that the top flight quarterbacks all have. He does “look” the part, he’s tough, and he’s a strong leader, which is why Atlanta is surely satisfied with Ryan and not looking to move on, nor should they be. As many questions as I have about Ryan, he’s shown enough to make me think that, unlike Romo, he could lead a franchise to a Super Bowl. With the investment Atlanta has already made in him, they’d hold tight, and I agree.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith (6-1)

Another very, very intriguing one simply because of how this season has started. This one falls right in line with the Bills and Bengals, two teams doing far better than anyone expected thanks to solid play from their QB. Smith has not been asked to win games for the 49ers this year, he’s just been asked not to lose them with a great defense and solid running game by his side. And he hasn’t.

Still, this is Alex Smith. He has not done anything spectacular this year that Cam Newton couldn’t have done, even as a rookie. The issue would be whether Newton would have made mistakes that Smith wouldn’t have made to sabotage the 49ers in a game or two. That I don’t know. But I do know that, again, this is Alex Smith. As solid as he’s been, and as much of an impact as Jim Harbaugh has made on him, the difference in talent and swagger between he and Newton is obvious.

To me, the 6-1 record of the 49ers, and their incredible four game lead this early in this season, would make the team more likely to do such a deal. They’d have some cushion if Newton struggled to adapt to his new surroundings; though one thing we have learned about Newton is that he rarely if ever struggles to adapt. It may be his greatest strength of all.

• Would they? Yes (Well…maybe…probably)
  
• Should they? Yes
  

St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford (1-6)

Following right along with my thoughts on Stafford and Ryan, I don’t think there is much of a chance that St. Louis would pull the plug on the Bradford Era already, especially considering Bradford was the NFL’s Rookie of the Year last year and just needs protection and a few good targets to showcase his pinpoint accuracy. But like Stafford and Ryan, Bradford hasn’t earned Automatic No status. So the Rams might think about it, especially considering the money, but I think they’d stick with Bradford, and I wouldn’t blame them. I still think he’s going to be a star.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Arizona Cardinals – Kevin Kolb (1-6)

I thought long and hard about putting Arizona in Automatic Yes territory, but would they really cut the cord on Kolb so soon after giving him a long-term deal? Of course they should, but we know how egos sometimes get in the way of sound decision making, so I just wonder if they would.

Ultimately, I think so. Larry Fitzgerald has to be watching Cam Newton resuscitate Steve Smith’s career and get horribly jealous. That’s what Kolb was supposed to do for Fitzy, but obviously he hasn’t come close. Not that Arizona should be surprised by this mind you, because Kolb is basically just doing exactly what he did in Philadelphia. What, should he have turned down the money?

I don’t think it would take Arizona very long to say yes here.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

###

So, how many teams would trade their current QB for Cam Newton right now?

Okay, let’s tally up the “would they” column, as decided by me:

• No: Buffalo, New York Jets, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Philadelphia, Dallas, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Baltimore, Chicago, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Combined with the automatics from up above, that means I think 14 teams would trade their current starting quarterback straight up for Cam Newton. That seems very low to me; and of course it would seem low to me because I personally project a lot of disconnect between what teams should do and what they would do were this a real rather than hypothetical situation.

If I tally it up in terms of my “should they” answers, it would look much different:

• No: Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Buffalo, New York Jets, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Dallas, Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Based on what I would do in each team’s case, I think 20 teams’ QB situations would be improved immediately with Cam Newton. Maybe for a few there would be a short-term step back, but it would be worth it for the projected long-term steps forward.

But what I am really interested in here is your opinion.

Below is a poll that lists all of the teams I think are not obvious. Vote for all of the ones who you think should (not necessarily would) trade their current QB straight up for Cam Newton in our hypothetical fantasy. Then take to the comment section to state your peace or to agree/disagree with any of my assessments.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I invite your thoughts below.

Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles are currently 2-4 and are in need of a win against Dallas. Their only wins this season have come against St. Louis and Washington, which does not impress anyone, especially after the hype leading into the season.

Falling to 2-5 would put the Eagles in a very tough spot, as they still have games against Chicago, New England, and both New York teams. Their playoff hopes would likely be dashed, so they must come out and stop the Cowboys.

The Eagles have the top ranked rushing offense in the NFL, and will go up against Dallas’s top ranked defense in the NFL. Establishing the run game early will be key for the Eagles, considering Michael Vick is prone to throwing interceptions when the offense is one-dimensional.

On defense the Eagles must be wary of DeMarco Murrary of the Cowboys, who is coming off of a game against St. Louis in which he ran for 253 yards. He will not come anywhere near that number tonight, but the Eagles’ rush defense is towards the bottom of the league, so he can easily have a 100 yard game.

Dallas Cowboys

Dallas will look to give the Eagles their first loss following a bye under Andy Reid after winning the last twelve. The Cowboys are having a solid season, and could easily be undefeated. All three of their losses saw them leading in the fourth quarter before ultimately losing the lead and the game. They blew a three point lead against New England two weeks ago, a fourteen point lead against Detroit three weeks ago, and a fourteen point lead in the opener against the Jets.

Many enjoy to blame these losses on Tony Romo, but the battered quarterback is hardly to blame. He has been hurt all year, and is playing through the pain in order to help his team.

Defensive Coordinator Rob Ryan is always talking in the media, and in the summer he said that the Cowboys would beat the Eagles. His defense is prone to fourth-quarter collapses, so it will be interesting to see how they hold up. Forcing a few turnovers can take the pressure off of Romo and the offense.

Cowboys-Eagles Prediction

The Cowboys should be able to hold off the Eagles and send Philly to 2-5 and last place in the NFC East.

Cowboys 27 – Eagles 21

**********

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles Game Info

• Cowboys-Eagles Date, Time, and TV: Sunday, October 30th at 8:20 ET on NBC
• Cowboys-Eagles Announcers: Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth
• Cowboys-Eagles Point Spread: Eagles -3
• Cowboys-Eagles Over-Under Odds: 50.5

The two teams agreed to swap running backs, with Harrison going to Philadelphia and Ronnie Brown going to Detroit. The trade was pending until physicals were done, but this is usually just a formality and rarely produces anything noteworthy. Most guys pass the routine physical and are on their way to their new city.

This time around was different.

News broke this morning via ESPN that a problem had arisen during Harrison’s physical. The doctor discovered that Harrison has a brain tumor, which voided the trade. However, the trade, and football for that matter, do not really matter in a situation like this.

The fact that this happened shows how unexpected life can be. So many things fell into place that led to Harrison getting his tumor discovered. If Jahvid Best did not have a concussion, then the trade would not have have occurred. If the Eagles were able to close out games, they would never have needed to make this trade. If Jerome Harrison didn’t sign with the Lions and Ronnie Brown didn’t sign with the Eagles in the offseason, then Jerome Harrison might still be living with an untreated brain tumor.

Things happen for a reason, and everything that happens alters the future. This idea was exhibited in the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For those who haven’t seen the film, it deals with every little thing that happened leading up to a car accident that altered the life of the character Daisy. It is a film that really makes you think.

The trade now puts Ronnie Brown in an awkward situation, as he must return to the team that attempted to trade him. The same thing happened to O.J. Mayo of the Memphis Grizzlies when a trade involving him did not work out. Most players will understand that the game is a business and simply move on.

The most important thing of all though is that Jerome Harrison will be treated for his brain tumor and will hopefully go on to live a healthy life.

Update: The complete NFL Week 6 Power Rankings are now posted.

Week 5 is almost in the books, with just the highly anticipated Lions-Bears Monday night matchup left to play. Since neither of those teams will be bad enough this season to even come close to the #1 pick, there is no need to wait on tonight’s result to post the latest edition of the “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.

Just in case you need a reminder of why there is so much fuss over Luck, here is his stat line from this weekend: 26-33, 370 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT leading his 7th ranked Stanford Cardinal in a 48-7 rout over Colorado. What makes Luck remarkable (or perhaps the Legend of Luck so remarkable) is that when I saw that stat line I was disappointed. AN INTERCEPTION? The kid’s slumping.

For the season, Luck now has 11 TD passes against that lone INT. He is completing 71.4% of is passes with a yards per attempt number north of 9.0. Even against an easy schedule, that’s absurd. As are these videos.

Also absurd: the Indianapolis Colts’ complete inability to win without Peyton Manning. I mean, we knew he was integral to their operations, but good gracious. That’s why the Colts remain in the top spot for the Great Luck in this week’s “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.

Suck 4 Luck NFL Power Rankings: Week 6

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-5)

They are the first team to five losses, and they continue to find innovative ways to lose. And as I’ve said every week, the Colts getting the #1 pick would set up the most fascinating decision (assuming Peyton Manning can play next year). It would also give the city of Indianapolis another franchise QB it doesn’t deserve. But until the Colts beat someone, they are the odds-on favorite.

2. Miami Dolphins (0-4)

Despite going yet another weekend with very little offensive production, the Miami Dolphins narrowly avoided losing to BYE. It was a close call though, as is every game Tony Sparano coaches, it seems. Anyway, with Chad Henne out and the reins now turned over Mage Rosenmoore, the Dolphins’ chances of sucking enough for Luck have improved. They just need someone to let the Colts win.

3. Denver Broncos (1-4)

Per Peter King, the Broncos are the worst team in football ever since starting the Josh McDaniels Era 6-0 (yes, that really happened). And this weekend’s developments means that Tim Tebow will most likely be taking over as the starting QB for the rest of the year.

I’ve said all along that Denver was dark horse in this race, with Stanford legend John Elway surely not minding if the Broncos sucked enough to have a chance to take Luck, the current and future Stanford legend. Of course, if the Power of Tebow compels the Broncos to an 11-0 finish and a playoff spot (GO AHEAD…DOUBT HIM!) he won’t get that chance. But if things keep going in Denver as they’ve gone for the last two seasons, they’ll stay right there in this race, with a pivotal game coming soon in Miami.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)

They suck, and Jack Del Rio is as good as gone. Plus, I don’t think Blaine Gabbert is the long-term answer at QB, and whoever takes over as coach next year might not either.Regardless, I’m becoming more and more convinced that they’d take Luck if given the chance.

5. Arizona Cardinals (1-4)

The Cardinals also suck, and they’d be 0-5 if it weren’t for that Week 1 win over the Panthers in Cam Newton’s first career start. They also don’t have a quarterback. I think they had to go get Kevin Kolb if they believed he was a franchise QB, but he’s just not. If they do suck enough to get Luck, Larry Fitzgerald would probably commit a homicide if they didn’t take him. (He can’t really still believe in Kolb, can he?)

6. Philadelphia Eagles (1-4)

Oh Andy Reid, you diabolical genius. Surely the QB guru knew that Michael Vick is not the long-term answer at QB, so he’s purposefully sabotaging his team’s chances to win with inexplicable game management decisions in hopes of having the chance to draft Luck. Right? I mean, isn’t that the only explanation for some of the decisions we’ve seen this year?

7. St. Louis Rams (0-4)

Why are the Rams lower on this list than the Eagles, who beat them, and several other teams who have actually won a game? Because I am still not writing them off yet. I’ll keep saying it: once the schedule eases up and Sam Bradford gets more comfortable in the offense (and maybe, you know, doesn’t get clobbered every time he drops back) the Rams will start winning some games.

8. Minnesota Vikings (1-4)

Congrats Minnesota. You beat Arizona. Whoop-de-goldarn-do. I’d love to rank them higher, but Adrian Peterson alone is going to win this team at least four or five games through sheer will and immense talent alone. Just like he did on Sunday. But McNabb still sucks, so Minnesota needs to let Christian Ponder play so they know what they have in the unlikely event that they suck enough to get Luck.

9. Carolina Panthers (1-4)

Along with St. Louis, Carolina wouldn’t take Luck even if they got the #1 pick. They’d have the luxury of trading it to someone for A LOT of value. But I don’t think they’ll get the chance. Cam Newton is keeping the Panthers close, and they are going to win some games later this year. That kid is good. Very good.

10. Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)

Why do the Chiefs stay on this list as opposed to the Seahawks? Because the only two teams KC has beaten are both on this list. Seattle actually went on the road to New York and got a win with their backup QB. I’d never have thought it possible, so I have to give them some respect. KC? Quit bullying the crappy teams and pick on someone your own size. You made the playoffs last year. This is still embarrassing.

Feel free to vent below in the comments. I’m sure you’ll disagree with one or all of these selections.

Also, check out With Leather’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings, and check back later in the week for our complete NFL Power Rankings.

30 years from now when the next generation of kids are watching highlights from the 2011 season, they will randomly see players wearing pink, and unless the NFL continues this practice forever, they won’t know why. The great thing about highlights from the 60s and 70s is that teams always looked the same. They were the definition of uniform.

Nowadays each team has at least one throwback or alternate uniform that they wear periodically throughout the season. And while they look great, it messes with continuity. I realize that the extra uniforms bring in racks on racks on racks of extra money each season, but they need to do away with it. Teams should be forced to pick one uniform design – one home, one away – and stick with it. If the throwback uniforms are such a hit and look better than the default uniforms, then switch back.

On to the Week 5 Power Rankings.

1. Green Bay Packers 4-0

As a courtesy to both myself and the readers of MSF, I am going to stop writing about the Packers each week until they lose. For now, our resident cheesehead, Amanda Lawson, will be filling this spot. Take it away Amanda.

MSF's own Amanda Lawson, in a picture lifted from her Facebook account without permission, sporting her favorite head gear

“Ahhh the Packers. The Green and Gold offense is on fire, and it doesn’t look like they are about to cool down any time soon. All the Aaron Rodgers haters are at a loss for words after his stellar performance on Sunday. The momentum is building and this powerhouse in clearing a path of excellence. I was once told that winning is boring. Losing is so much worse.”

(Note: I was the one who said winning is boring. It’s true. Watching your rival team win all the time is the most boring thing in the world. Thanks Amanda.)

2. Baltimore Ravens 3-1

Can we change Joe “Footsteps” Flacco’s last name to Falco? The way he played on Sunday night is how I imagined Keanu Reeves’ character played in the 1996 Sugar Bowl for Ohio State in The Replacements. I’m also curious to see how well Joe Flacco can throw a metal ball under water.

I can’t believe it has already been 11 years since that movie came out. It was the first movie I bought on DVD. Did you know the players wore Under Armour in the movie and that Roy Anderson played the deaf tight end? Crazy.

3. New Orleans Saints 3-1

The Saints have a legitimate chance at being 15-1 this season, or at least 13-3. They have a solid history against the teams in their own division over the past few years, and their toughest non-division game lies at home against Detroit in Week 13, and who knows what kind of shape Matt Stafford will be in by then. Do I think they are going to go 15-1? No. But their schedule says they could.

4. Detroit Lions 4-0

Too bad the Lions don’t have any real fans who could provide actual content and opinions about them on this site. HAH! TAKE THAT DETROIT!

I hate Detroit sports, but I love their music.

5. New England Patriots 3-1

What would be the football equivalent of the 2011 Red Sox collapse you ask? How could it happen to the 2011 Patriots? I actually know the answer to this: the 2003 Minnesota Vikings.

That team started the season 6-0, went 3-7 to finish the year, and got knocked out of the playoffs on a last second, fourth down touchdown by Nate Poole of the Arizona Cardinals.

Make it happen sports gods.

6. Houston Texans 3-1

A win over the Steelers is an important win for a team looking to prove to everyone that they should be mentioned among the leagues best, but realistically they should have won by about four touchdowns. At least Arian Foster looks like he’s healthy again. Good for the Texans, bad for the AFC South.

7. San Diego Chargers 3-1

This is the most frustrating team ever. Number one overall offense and defense last year and didn’t make the playoffs. Have all of this talent and such a “high powered offense”, and yet they can’t seem to pull away from bad teams like Minnesota, Kansas City and Miami. Even though they are sitting at seven this week, I am down on this team.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-1

What is that? Vikings fan? Me? Who told you that? No no no no no. When I was a kid I owned a Warrick Dunn jersey and had one of those Tampa Bay Buccaneers pullover Starter jackets. When I played football, I pretended I was John Lynch. Mike Alstott ranks only behind Leroy Hoard as the NFL’s greatest fullback ever. Hell, I even wrote about Josh Freeman being league MVP. I even mentioned it last week too. I’m a Buccaneers fan dammit! HAIL BUCCANEERS!!!

My “analytic take” on the Buccaneers after Week 4: they are going to have an ugly October. Mixing pink with their team colors? Gross. It just doesn’t work. Down right ugly if you ask me.

9. Buffalo Bills 3-1

Was the last second loss to the Bengals a product of fatigue following two emotional, late game wins against Oakland and New England or a sign of what they really are – a run-of-the-mill overachieving team coming back down to Earth?

10. New York Giants 3-1

How crazy is this Victor Cruz story line?

Last year the guy catches three spectacular touchdowns in one preseason game and is all anyone can talk about for two weeks, then he contributes zero production to the Giants last year. Now all of a sudden he reappears last week when he made two Eagle defenders smash into each other en route to a long touchdown, and then this week he somehow gets away with blatantly fumbling the ball and allows the Giants to win another close game. I can’t wait to see what comes next with this guy.

11. Washington Redskins 3-1

I didn’t watch the Redskins game this weekend because I like to watch good football (Vikings games don’t count, I have to watch those), but I can’t imagine that they look good wearing pink either. I love the gold pants though, those things are classic.

That win helped mask the fact that Rex Grossman looked like Rex Grossman again. Sorry Redskins fans.

12. Chicago Bears 2-2

The Bears and Lions play each other on Monday Night Football this week. To celebrate, I would just like to remind you all that instead of Tyler Juranovich gushing about how much Jay Cutler dominates on a weekly basis, we’ll also get Jon Gruden obsessively talking about how “gritty” and “gutty” and “drunk looking” he is for three hours. I’m so glad I watch MNF on mute.

13. Tennessee Titans 3-1

Chris Johnson finally rushed for over 100 yards in a game and the Titans are surprisingly tied for first place in the AFC South. Unfortunately they have played teams that would probably struggle against Big Ten teams this year, excluding the Ravens of course. Not sure how that one happened. Actually, I do. “Footsteps” Flacco happened. Expect them to slip once they play some legitimate teams.

14. San Francisco 49ers 3-1

Maybe this actually is a good team? Or is Philadelphia really just struggling that much? Alex Smith is looking kind of good so far. By that I mean for Alex Smith’s standards, which is basically slightly above average. At least he’s a better option right now than Donovan McNabb.

15. Oakland Raiders 2-2

Before this past weekend I thought the Raiders would be able to beat the Patriots at home and make a legitimate run to win the AFC West. Even with the loss, and boy was it ugly, I still think they can win the division. The NFL is just better when the Raiders are winning.

16. New York Jets 2-2

I know you are all expecting some sort of Rex Ryan or Mark Sanchez joke, but I’ve got nothing. I’ve got Antonio Cromartie jokes, but that is for next week.

17. Atlanta Falcons 2-2

The best part of the Falcons being a middle of the pack team this year? Room for my Buccaneers to make the playoffs!

18. Pittsburgh Steelers 2-2

The best part of the Steelers being a middle of the pack team this year? Potential room for the Bills to make the playoffs!

19. Dallas Cowboys 2-2

For as much as I am sick of hearing about Tony Romo and his ability to not win a close game, I will never get sick of watching him blow a late lead. It’s a real Catch 22. I hate the Cowboys but love when they lose and cause pain to their “fans”. I realize that is mean to say, and I have a few friends who are Cowboys fans, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

20. Philadelphia Eagles 1-3

For all you college football experts, is Robert Griffin III a better version of Vince Young? Maybe he IS Vince Young, because seriously, has anyone seen him? At all? Where the hell did he go?

21. Cincinnati Bengals 2-2

Dalton to Green has produced 312 yards and three touchdowns already in four weeks and the Bengals are .500. Who said rookies can’t produce?

On a completely unrelated note, 21 years into my life and I still can’t spell Cincinnati correctly on the first try. I don’t think I’ll ever learn. I also can’t say “polish sausage” correctly. Is that just me, or is the “sh” suffix impossible to say when it precedes a word that starts with an “s”? Might just be one of those mental block things.

22. Cleveland Browns 2-2

They got an absolute butt kicking at home against the Titans on Sunday, but maybe that’s what they need. Young teams need to get the shit beat out of them every once and a while. Too much of a good thing can lead to destruction under pressure. Then again, too much of a bad thing, in this case ass kickings at home, can be discouraging to a young team. You want young teams to learn tough lessons and build on them, not learn tough lessons and get used to them.

Regardless, they still have one of the best jerseys in the league. Alas, they join Washington and Tampa Bay in the “not looking good in pink” category. You ever see someone walk around wearing brown, orange and pink? No. There’s a reason for that.

23. Arizona Cardinals 1-3

While not really in the running to be a sleeper team in 2011 anymore, they still have a chance to be a playoff team thanks to their shitty division. Who would have thunk it right? (Hint: me)

24. Carolina Panthers 1-3

Am I the only one who is glad we don’t have to talk about Cam Newton anymore? Is he doing a great job in Carolina? Absolutely. I love that he has resurrected Steve Smith’s career, but I want to see him win more than one game before he takes up half of my sports talk radio segments. Wins > passing yards.

25. Seattle Seahawks 1-3

Never again do I want to see that Tarvaris Jackson has over 300 yards passing and three touchdowns and instantly wish that my football team had him at the helm. It’s a terrible feeling. I wish it upon no one.

26. Kansas City Chiefs 1-3

The Chiefs got knocked around pretty hard in the first two weeks of the season, but I’ll give them credit. They have played a pretty solid last six quarters. I think what we’ve learned from Kansas City this year is what positions in the NFL are the most important. Obviously a competent quarterback and above average/Pro Bowl wide receiver are higher on the priority list than running back. And are 4-3 defensive ends/3-4 outside linebackers more important than an all-pro safety? Discuss.

27. St. Louis Rams 0-4

Ugh. I thought this team was supposed to be fun to watch this year. Even I could get past the Rams offensive line right now, and I have asthma and an ingrown toenail. And yes, that is the lamest excuse you will hear from anyone as to why they are out of shape, but hey, I don’t care. It is what it is.

28. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-3

How did Jacksonville get two Monday Night Football games this year? Were they good last year and I just missed it? And speaking of Jacksonville, why is the abbreviation JAX? There is no “x” in Jacksonville. It never fails to confuse me when I have to spell out Jacksonville. I propose a vote to change it to JAC.

29. Denver Broncos 1-3

Roger Goodell should implement a rule that if the Broncos are going to draft Andrew Luck in the 2012 draft, they have to go back to the Orange Crush jerseys and logo. He should also probably check Knowshon Moreno’s water bottle.

30. Minnesota Vikings 0-4

The Minnesota Vikings spot in these rankings will be reserved for non-Vikings thoughts for the rest of the year because I have nothing left to say about this team. This week: drunk girls alone at the bar.

On Friday night a group of my friends went out to the bar and saw a relatively attractive girl (so it seemed at the time, turned out she really wasn’t) drinking by herself at the bar. It was 7pm so we figured she had just got there and was waiting for her friends. Then it got to be 8pm and she was still alone. We were a little drunk at by then ($.30 beers go down so smooth, you guys) and we figured it would be a good time to go learn this girl’s story. Just as we were about to approach her, she reached out, grabbed a random dude’s ass, then stood up to walk and almost fell over taking a right hand turn. I’ve never sat back down in my seat so fast.

Drunk girl then went out to the dance floor and proceeded to get jiggy with it. By herself. At 8:30pm. I am not exaggerating when I say that the entire bar stopped what they were doing, stood up, and watched her dance. The bar full of attention only added fuel to the fire. Bravo lonely drunk lady, you had us all at your fingertips. She was loving it, and so were we, but for a completely different reason.

Lesson learned. Lonely drunk girls are probably drunk and alone for a reason.

31. Miami Dolphins 0-4

Serious question. What kind of pizza would it take for Miami to trade Reggie Bush away in real life? My guess is either Hawaiian or Meat Lovers. Though if it gets too close to the trade deadline, I’m sure they would settle for pepperoni. Everyone loves pepperoni pizza.

32. Indianapolis Colts 0-4

I want to see Peyton Manning on my TV for only two reasons: playing football and doing funny things on SNL. Not cheering in a press box while Curtis Painter is playing quarterback.

Oh, and then there is this from last night in case you all missed it. Ow. Get well soon.

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[Editor's note: If you can't get enough of Power Rankings, don't forget to check out this week's "Suck 4 Luck" Power Rankings, which handicaps the NFL's race to the bottom in 2011.]

Update: The complete NFL Week 5 Power Rankings are now posted. In this “Drunk Girls Alone At The Bar” Edition, Drew Lange ranks every team from 1-32, explains his reasoning for not liking teams adding pink to their uniforms during October, and provides useful advice about, well, drunk girls alone at bars.

Another week of football players on football teams playing National Football League football games is in the books*, which means that it’s time to assess the carnage and see which teams are now best positioned in the yearlong “Suck 4 Luck” Sweepstakes.

And just in case you’ve forgotten why everyone is making a big deal about Andrew Luck, just watch this video.

So for the record, that makes Luck a combination of Aaron Rodgers, Brian Urlacher, and Calvin Johnson.

And that is why fans won’t be quite so disappointed if their team sucks enough to get this guy in the 2012 draft. Short-term sacrifice for long-term gain would be the way to look at it.

So let’s take a closer look at how the teams are position in this week’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings:

1. Indianapolis Colts 0-4

With the Chiefs’ victory over the winless Vikings yesterday, the Colts move into the top spot. While my lifelong curse of being a Dolphins fan means I desperately want Miami to get the #1 pick, the objective football fan in me wants to see it go to the Colts for the mere fact that it would be fascinating to see what they’d do with it if Peyton Manning is given a clean bill of health. Not that Colts fans deserve another franchise QB, but that’s a topic for another article.

2. Miami Dolphins 0-4

And speaking of a fan base that doesn’t deserve another franchise QB…

Miami continues to lose and it looks like Tony Sparano might not make it through the entire season. It’s shocking that installing Reggie Bush as your everydown back didn’t lead to an offensive renaissance for Miami, but it’s not like they had a precedent to learn from.

3. Kansas City Chiefs 1-3

Now here is a fan base that does deserve a franchise QB. Matt Cassel is a nice player, and he loves his fig newtons, but he’s no franchise QB. A franchise QB can help guide a team through the awful injuries the Chiefs have endured this year. Cassel can’t. I just hope that if the Chiefs get luck they pair him with a real head coach.

4. Denver Broncos 1-3

This team’s roster is stocked with quarterbacks. They have a solid veteran in Kyle Orton who can win if the team around him is solid, and they have two former college phenoms and 1st round picks in Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow. Yet, they really have no quarterback at all. You have to think Tim Tebow will get to play at some point, and while I think he’ll do a decent job he isn’t going to make this ragtag bunch a winner. They are a definite contender in this race.

5. Seattle Seahawks 1-3

A valiant effort against the Falcons, but it came up just short. The Seahawks being in the NFC West, which means they could stumble into a win or two, could actually hurt them in the only standings that matter. (These.)

6. Minnesota Vikings 0-4

The Vikings are terrible, but I keep them low in these rankings because a) they still have the talent to start pulling out some wins at some point (right? RIGHT?) and b) they drafted a QB in the first round last year, which lessens the likelihood of them taking Luck.

7. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-3

The Jags are terrible, and Blaine Gabbert is no Cam Newton. Still, they spent a high pick on him, so they likely wouldn’t take Luck either, and I think they can get enough wins for it not to be a question.

8. St. Louis Rams 0-4

Yes, I realize that the Rams continue to lose and look awful doing so, but I’m not changing my tune on this team…yet. I think they’ll pick up some wins during the second half of the season when the schedule lightens up and the offense gels a bit. They also already have a franchise QB in Sam Bradford.

9. Arizona Cardinals 1-3

Kevin Kolb has five touchdowns and four INTs through four games. People are disappointed in this, but it’s right on par with the 11:10 career touchdown to INT ratio he entered the season with. Like the Seahawks, Arizona might stumble into some victories being the NFC West, but I don’t think it’s out of the question that they’d grab Luck if they had the chance, thanks to the significantly lessened amount of money the new CBA grants to top picks.

10. Philadelphia Eagles 1-3

Who would have ever thought the Eagles would make their way onto this list? But when you are 1-3, look awful, and lose a 17-point lead to Alex Smith at home, you get tossed into the bottom third of the league. And yes, I think they’d take Luck in a heartbeat, even after signing Vick, and they’d be smart to do so. The only problem is that The Linc – hell, the entire city – might get firebombed by irate Philly fans if they continue to lose enough games to actually have a chance at him.

Remember to also check out With Leather’s Suck for Luck Power Rankings as well.

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* – This post is being written Monday at approximately 10:30 am, well before the Bucs-Colts MNF game has even started; but yes, I’m already assuming an L for Indy. Curtis Painter starting + being on the road + potential for huge emotional letdown after last week’s loss + the Caldwell factor = 0.001% of winning. If Indianapolis somehow wins tonight, I’ll update this post and do something to publicly humiliate myself for being such a jackwagon. (I’m not too scared…)

I am talking about Michael Vick returning to Atlanta to take on the Falcons.

Matt Ryan is the new face of the franchise, and most Falcons fans have ultimately moved on from the situation that occurred with Michael Vick. Major media markets enjoy to hype up his return, but it is not as big a deal as they all make it seem.

Eagles-Falcons Preview

The Eagles are coming off of a commanding 31-13 win over the Rams, in a game which saw both Sam Bradford and Steven Jackson leave with injuries. Vick threw for 2 touchdowns and LeSean McCoy ran for 122 yards and a touchdown.

The Falcons are coming off of a very ugly 30-12 loss in Chicago. Matt Ryan threw for over 300 yards and Michael Turner rushed for 100 yards, but the offense failed to score a single touchdown.

Three turnovers proved to be costly for the Falcons, including a fumble that was returned for a touchdown by Brian Urlacher. Ball security will be very important for Matt Ryan and the Falcons as they go up against the “Dream Team’s” defense.

Eagles-Falcons Prediction

After their poor performance in week 1, I believe that the Falcons will be able to come out in their home stadium and score at least three touchdowns. This is, of course, assuming they do not turn the ball over against the Eagles’ D.

The Eagles put up 31 in week 1, and I don’t see them slowing down their pace anytime soon. It is tough for me to pick the Eagles to lose until I actually see them play a bad game. I know it was only one week, but they looked great against the Rams, while the Falcons looked awful against the Bears.

I have faith in Vick and the Eagles and just cannot see them losing after their performance last week.

Prediction: Eagles 34 | Falcons 27

Spread Pick: Eagles -2.5

What’s your prediction:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Philadelphia Eagles at Atlanta Falcons Game Info

• Eagles-Falcons Date, Time, and TV: Sunday, September 18th at 8:20 ET on NBC
• Eagles-Falcons Announcers: Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth
• Eagles-Falcons Point Spread: Eagles -2.5
• Eagles-Falcons Over-Under Odds: 50.5

And I have to admit, I’m actually feeling rather emboldened by how my bold predictions for 2010 turned out.

Remember how Brett Favre returning was supposed to give the Vikings one more shot at glory? I correctly predicted they would not make the playoffs, and they didn’t.

Remember how last year was going to be the year for the Houston Texans, the one when they finally overtook Peyton and the Colts? I correctly predicted that a) they would beat Indianapolis in Week 1, but then that b) they’d let their fans down once again. How is that for specificity?

There were other hits (that Chris Johnson wouldn’t lead the league in rushing coming off of his 2,000 yard season) and a few misses (Dolphins and 49ers in the playoffs? What was I thinking…?) but all in all I’d say it was a pretty successful stab at predicting a wildly unpredictable league.

So here we go again: six bold predictions for the 2011 NFL season.

First, let’s start out with the playoffs.

Bold Prediction #1 for the 2011 NFL Season:

2010 playoff teams the Colts, Chiefs, Falcons, Seahawks, and Bears will not make the playoffs in 2011.

Every year there are 5-6 playoff teams from the previous season that don’t make it back the next season, and a few of last year’s playoff participants are easy to dismiss.

• Before being exposed as playoff frauds by Baltimore, the Chiefs fattened up on a rather easy schedule last year, plus they benefited from the Chargers’ numerous injuries. Also, Todd Haley gets a little too distracted by things that are irrelevant.
• The Seahawks only made the playoffs because the rest of the NFC West was so bad, and they responded by jettisoning Matt Hasselbeck in favor of Tarvaris Jackson. WIN FOREVER!
• The Bears’ major improvements this year are Roy Williams and Marion Barber. Living in Dallas, I know how ecstatic the Cowboys were to get rid of both; and I’m sorry, but I just don’t trust the Lovie Smith-Jay Cutler combo.

Dismissing the Falcons and, especially, the Colts was not so easy however.

Atlanta Falcons

Atlanta is coming off a very solid 13-3 season, and they would seem primed to be even better with Julio Jones being added to an already solid offense. Plus, in three seasons at the helm Mike Smith’s worst record is 9-7 and he’s led the Falcons to the playoffs two out of the three years. So why my trepidation?

First off, did you know Atlanta has never made the playoffs two years in a row? It’s true. Also, the Falcons’ schedule is not the most inviting. They don’t get to feast on the NFC West this year (they were 4-0 vs the West last year), replacing those cupcakes with four games against the four playoff caliber teams of the NFC North. Plus, while I like and trust Matt Ryan, I do not particularly trust Atlanta’s defense, which was 30th in scoring defense last year…with, again, four of those games coming against the NFC West!

Indianapolis Colts

This is the toughest of all the bold predictions. The Colts make the playoffs every year, so how can I say they are going to miss the postseason this year? Well, the Atlanta Braves used to win the NL East every year too, but ultimately the year came when they didn’t, and such runs usually end when a team’s lynchpin stars get hurt or start to decline; and based on what we saw last year, and so far during the preseason, such a time may be nigh for the Colts.

Peyton Manning, of course, has the neck issue and we have no idea when or how he’ll play. And this comes on the heels of a 10-6 season that was shaky for Manning and the team even with Manning supposedly in good health. Manning entering 2011 injured does little to assuage fears I would have had about the Colts even if Manning’s health were not in question. Not to mention, the Colts have offensive line issues, continue to have a questionable running game, have the catatonic and uninspiring Jim Caldwell as First Assistant to Peyton Manning, and their defense was 28th in scoring last year. Plus, I think the Houston Texans are actually, finally, really, legitimately, no…seriously, ready to seize their opportunity.

Would I be shocked if Peyton played all 16 games and the Colts made the playoffs? Of course not. But for the first time in a long time, I think there are enough question marks that it’s more likely to not happen than happen.

Bold Prediction #2 for the 2011 NFL Season:

2010 non-playoff teams the Texans, Chargers, Cowboys, Rams, and Lions will make the playoffs in 2011.

Again, a few of these are easy.

• Everything went wrong for the Chargers last year, but with a little better fortune in terms of health and even just marginal improvement in special teams, San Diego will dominate a weak AFC West.
• If I don’t think the Colts will make it, there is only one logical choice to come out of the AFC South: the Texans. With a healthy Andre Johnson and what should be an improved defense, plus the ability to fatten up on the bumbling Titans and Jags, it’s time. This team has paid its dues.
• The Rams are the only NFC West team that has its head coach-QB combo intact from last year, and that QB happens to be the best one in the division. I’d be shocked if St. Louis doesn’t comfortably win the NFC West this year.

Now to state my case for the other two:

Dallas Cowboys

Am I drinking the Jason Garrett Kool-Aid because I live in Dallas? Maybe. But the Cowboys did go 5-3 last year once Garrett took over, and that was with Tony Romo on the bench and Roy Williams and Marion Barber still around wasting snaps. Romo is back, Williams and Barber are gone, and the Cowboys have a decidedly new attitude that should help some of their other talented but overpaid/underperforming players live up to their contracts. And in a season of uncertainty, I like QB-coach continuity. Romo and Garrett have a lot of experience together, and that will help.

Plus, the NFC East faces the NFC West this year, so the Cowboys get to enjoy what the Falcons were able to enjoy last year. And a midseason stretch with home games against Buffalo, Miami, and Seattle in three out of four weeks should put Dallas in prime position to make a move come November and December.

Detroit Lions

This one makes me nervous. Very nervous. I essentially chose the up-and-coming but unproven Lions, along with their porcelain QB, over the proven Falcons and their rock solid third-year signal caller. What the hell is wrong with me?

Call it a hunch.

Sure, it makes me nervous to trust Matthew Stafford and Jahvid Best to stay healthy for 16 games – which I do think needs to happen for this prediction to come true – but I have to think that at some point it will happen, so why not this season? The Lions and their fans have suffered so much, you have to think the sports gods while throw them a bone at some point…right? Right?

Taking karma and sports gods nonsense out of the equation, there are actually plenty of legit reasons to like Detroit. Ndamukong Suh is the obvious one, because he’s unblockable and his attitude seems to have positively infected the entire franchise. Plus, Jim Schwartz has taken the Lions from 0-16 (the year before he arrived) to 2-14 and then last year’s 6-10 record. If they make another 3-4 game improvement, the Lions will sit at 9-7 or 10-6, right on the doorstep of the playoffs. By the power of Suh and the grace of Stafford’s shoulder, I say they get in.

So, for the record, my playoff picks are:

• AFC: Jets, Patriots, Ravens, Steelers, Texans, Chargers
• NFC: Eagles, Cowboys, Packers, Lions, Saints, Rams

Bold Prediction #3 for the 2011 NFL Season:

Fantasy players beware: Arian Foster will not only not lead the NFL in rushing in 2011, he won’t lead the Texans in rushing in 2011.

Last year, I benefited from Arian Foster’s rapid rise to stardom in a number of fantasy leagues. This year, you won’t find him on any of my teams, even the keeper league I had him in (I traded him for teammate Andre Johnson), because I do not think he’ll come close to duplicating his 2010 production.

Sure, it’s somewhat foolhardy to predict injuries for a player, but none other than the great Will Carroll has been pointing out all offseason that Foster is an injury risk because of his 2010 workload (327 carries, almost 400 total touches). And wouldn’t you know it, Foster has already gotten hurt a couple of times already this preseason.

And don’t forget: Ben Tate, a 2nd round pick in 2010, was supposed to be the guy last year for Houston, not the undrafted Arian Foster. With Tate back in the mix, he was poised to siphon off some carries from Foster this year anyway. If Tate gets a chance to play in Foster’s absence, and shows that he is more talented (as his draft position suggests), and if Foster struggles to stay healthy, then the Texans could very well have a new, unexpected back leading them in rushing in 2011. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Bold Prediction #4 for the 2011 NFL Season:

The “Dream Team” Philadelphia Eagles will be playing on the first weekend of the playoffs…if they make the playoffs at all.

I almost chose the Eagles as one of the 2010 playoff teams that would not return this season. Why? The two main reasons are that I don’t trust Michael Vick over the course of a full season, and I don’t trust teams that enter seasons with inordinate amounts of undeserved hype.

However, I ultimately could not get past two facts when I looked at the Eagles’ prospects for this season:

• Andy Reid. Look at the man’s annual consistency in a league set up to promote parity. He’s among the most underrated head coaches in any sport during my lifetime.
• The schedule. The Eagles get to face the not-so-mighty NFC West this year, plus they get games against the Dolphins and Bills, two of the AFC’s weaker teams. And playing Washington twice doesn’t hurt.

So I do think the Eagles will make the playoffs, but they are not going to run roughshod over the NFL on their way to a first round bye like some people seem to think they will.

Vick is a nagging or season-ending injury waiting to happen, with wild card Vince Young rather than the steadier Kevin Kolb now Vick’s backup. Plus, Vick was not as good last season as people seem to think he was. (Remember, there is a difference between spectacular and good.) Vick threw 6 INTs over the team’s final five games, when the pressure was really on, and he had a number of others dropped throughout the year. Andy Reid teams go as the quarterback goes, and I don’t trust Vick to play consistently enough week-in and week-out to lead this team to the 13-3 or 14-2 record it will take to get a bye.

Having Reid, a favorable schedule, and a still-solid defense (14.7 points per game allowed this year, with Nnamdi added to the mix) will get Philly into the postseason, but they are going to have to win three games to get to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl in February. (P.S. I don’t think they’re going to do that either.)

Bold Prediction #5 for the 2011 NFL Season:

The New England Patriots will lose their fourth straight playoff game and be one-and-done again.

Here’s a stat you may or may not have realized: the Patriots a sterling 35-13 over the last three regular seasons, but they are without a playoff win. In fact, since going 18-0 on their way to Super Bowl XLII, the Patriots are 0-3 in the playoffs, losing that game to the Giants, getting pummeled by the Ravens in ’09, and then being smacked in the mouth by the Jets last year.

And while I think the Patriots’ regular season success will continue – a product of yet another year of the Belichick-Brady combo – I think their sudden playoff futility will continue as well. The Patriots without a motivated Randy Moss simply do not have enough offensive playmakers to beat really good defenses in the one-game scenarios presented in the playoffs. Plus, while the Patriots’ defense improved last year, it is still devoid of the veteran leaders that led the franchise to its three Super Bowls under Belichick.

The AFC is loaded with very good teams. The Jets, Ravens, Steelers, and Chargers are all capable of winning home-field advantage, and I think all four have what it takes to give Belichick and Brady their fourth straight playoff loss.

Bold Prediction #6 for the 2011 NFL Season:

The Cincinnati Bengals will control the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes come April 2012.

The Bengals actually have a pretty nice schedule this season. Two games against Cleveland, one versus each team in the NFC West, plus games against Denver, Tennessee, and Jacksonville seem pretty inviting don’t they? Even for a team coming off a 4-12 season, that would seem to be a nice slate of games to rebound from a 4-12 record with.

I don’t think it will matter.

The Bengals had one of the worst offenses in the NFL last year, finishing 28th in points, 28th in yards, 31st in passing yards, and 22nd in rushing yards. And now they are breaking in rookies at QB and WR, which leaves Cedric Benson as the unit’s primary building block and most accomplished player.

Oh boy.

I just can’t see any reasons not to expect this to be a completely lost season in Cincinnati, another in a long line of completely lost seasons in Cincinnati.

The only upshot is that there is a clear-cut franchise QB waiting for whatever team has the top draft choice in 2012. I think Cincinnati will be that team, and they will have to decide whether to a) take Andrew Luck one year after drafting Andy Dalton in the second round or b) trade the pick for what I would expect to be a rather large bounty from a team like Miami or San Francisco or Washington that is desperate for a franchise QB to build around. At least they’ll have a season of watching Andy Dalton play before making the decision.

My guess: they would take Luck after being underwhelmed by Dalton, but that’s definitely silly to speculate about with so much to happen before then. (Although I guess you could say that everything in sports is silly to speculate about, just try to keep it to yourself so I don’t feel like I wasted my time with the 2500 words of pure speculation that comprise this post…)

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So, what do you think? Which of these bold predictions do you agree with? Which ones do you think are total bunk?

And what are your bold predictions for the 2011 NFL season?

We’ve got two weeks before the season starts, so there is plenty of time for conjecture. The comment section awaits.