A sports blog by and for Midwest Sports Fans
Andrew Luck didn’t play this past weekend, as his Stanford Cardinal did not make the Pac-12 championship game. Oregon did. And so did UCLA, which really made the game less “championship game” and more “meaningless exhibition between a good team and a crappy team whose coach has already been fired.”
Anyway, there isn’t much to say about Luck for this week in looking back; but we can look forward.
Expected #1 draft pick Andrew Luck capped off a terrific regular season Saturday night by leading his Stanford Cardinal to a victory over the hated Notre Dame Fighting Irish. In the process, Luck went 20-30 for 233 yards and 4 TDs. He did toss one pick, but overall it was a solid, steady performance from the man who just may end up being Peyton Manning’s replacement in Indianapolis.
But today, the phrase “suck for Luck” has nothing to do with a certain NFL team losing game after game and positioning themselves for the #1 pick. Rather, it has to do with the Nike Pro Combat unis that Stanford wore Saturday night.
Which sucked.
Photo credit: AP Photo/Paul Sakuma via ESPN.com
I’ve seen some bad version of the Nike Pro Combat unis (Georgia’s immediately come to mind), but these may the worst. Black helmets? Black numbers? For Stanford? I suppose the jersey itself isn’t bad, but nothing about it says Stanford. And, um, isn’t that what jerseys are supposed to do?
I have a solution.
We need to get this guy on the case:
Seriously, can you imagine the indignation if this bro had seen that Stanford-Notre Dame game? He’d have downed the entire bottle of 1800 by halftime because of those uniforms.
Whatever happened to men, Michael Imperibroli? Nike. And it’s Pro Combat Uniforms. That’s what.
Now drink up while I break down the NFL’s top/bottom 10 in the race to draft Matt Barkley or Robert Griffin (if they go pro) since the race to draft Luck is pretty much done.
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Breaking news: the Colts lost again.
Here is their remaining schedule. You tell me where a win might come from: at New England, at Baltimore, vs Tennessee, vs Houston, at Jacksonville.
So, with nothing else really to say about this sorry sack of a Manning-less team, here is a picture of Curtis Painter doing one of the few things he does better than Peyton Manning: carrying laundry.
Photo credit: USA Today
That’s it. I’m done with the Rams. And they still have to play San Francisco twice! If you own Steven Jackson in fantasy, trade him. Trade him now.
A bunch of the other craptastic teams won this weekend, so we’ll bump the sorry Chargers all the way up to #3. When you start out 4-1 then lose six straight games, each in excruciating fashion, you get rewards like this.
It’s safe to say that the Norv Turner Era will soon be ending in San Diego, and all 16 of their die-hard fans must be thrilled with that news.
In honor of the Chargers’ rapid ascent up these Suck For Luck Power Rankings, here is the most disturbing image of Philip Rivers on the first page of a Google Image search for his name:
Image source: Pyromaniac
Ah, what the hell. Here’s another one:
Image source: Pyromaniac
My apologies in advance for any nightmares you have tonight.
Let’s not carried away with excitement here. You beat Indianapolis, and you allowed them to score 19 points. And congrats on running all over them, but everyone does that.
The Browns jumped out to an early lead over the Bengals, only to give it away to the clear #1 football team in the state of Ohio (since Ohio State is down this year).
But hey, at least Peyton Hillis was back! Maybe now he can start to recapture the magic of 2010. Assuming, of course, that he doesn’t get anymore sore throats or have any more shotgun weddings.
The Bucs have now lost five in a row, and they actually make the Colts looks suffocating against the run. Chris Johnson hasn’t been able to juke a brown paper sack this year, yet he racked up 190 yards against the Bucs on Sunday.
The only question for this team now, with the playoffs clearly out of the question, is does Raheem Morris make it to next year? If the Bucs want to have any hope of not squandering the talent they’ve accumulated, I say the answer is no. We’ll see.
Yes, I think the Vikings and Dolphins, among others, would beat the Eagles right now. That is how bad this team is playing. Their coaches are yelling at eachother on the sidelines, Desean Jackson isn’t blatantly short-arming catch attempts, and good players are getting injured one right after another.
Side note: when Andy Reid gets his walking papers at the end of the year, and it’s becoming likely that he will, some team looking for a head coach (hello Dolphins!) better snatch him up quickly. I’ll agree that perhaps it’s time for a parting of the ways in Philly. Sometimes that happens, even to good coaches. Sometimes change is needed. But it doesn’t mean Reid is no longer a good, perhaps even great, NFL coach. I don’t think he’d stay unemployed for long.
Now, apropos of absolutely nothing, here is a video of a hippo releasing a little pressure after a second helping of Thanksgiving dinner.
Yes, the Vikings have now replaced the Rams as the team I irrationally support despite their record. But seriously, the Vikings have played decent football in hanging tough at Atlanta without Adrian Peterson and almost coming back to beat Oakland. Can you honestly tell me you don’t think Minnesota could beat the seven teams above them on this list?
You lose at home to Rex Grossman and the Redskins, you make this list. It’s as simple as that.
Frankly, I kind of forgot about the Jaguars. Had I remembered them, I probably would have placed them in the 4-6 range because Blaine Gabbert sucks so much. But out of deference to the great Maurice Jones-Drew, who continues to play hard and churn out tons of yards in losing efforts, I’m going to keep the Jags here.
Seriously though, watch Gabbert in the pocket anytime anyone gets near him. He freezes up and braces for contact instead of standing in there like a man and delivering a throw (which I obviously would do if I were a professional football player). I wonder what Michael Imperioli would have to say about that after a few shots of 1800 tequila.
Honorable mention: Kansas City Chiefs (4-7), Washington Redskins (4-7), Arizona Cardinals (4-7), Buffalo Bills (5-6).
Honestly, all four of those teams deserved mention. There is a pretty clear line between the top 18 teams in the NFL and the bottom 14. So congrats to everyone who made this list! You officially suck.
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The number one reason why the Cowboys will win the division is simple: schedule.
The Cowboys final opponents are Miami, Arizona, New York, Tampa Bay, Philadelphia and New York again.
In the aftermath of Stanford’s disappointing loss to Oregon on Saturday night, you are likely to hear little birdies chirping that Andrew Luck isn’t all he’s cracked up to be.
Don’t buy it.
There are many different factors that make fantasy football difficult: bye weeks; injuries; random lucky days for your opponent; and worst of all, Chris Johnson.
In my opinion though, the hardest thing is staying in the present.
What do I mean?
The 4-3 Chicago Bears travel to the “city of brotherly love” to take on the 3-4 Philadelphia Eagles tonight. This game is very important to both teams as they each try to extend their winning streaks to three while trying to stay alive in the NFC playoff race.
Week 8 is now in the books after Philip Rivers fumbled away a road win in Kansas City, which means we are right around the midway point of the 2011 season. Most teams have played 8 games, a few have played 7, and we can finally start to state with some level of certainty who is good, who is not, and who is too enigmatic to declare.
Without question, the story of the first half of the season (other than this) has been the ascent of the Detroit Lions.
They went 0-16 three years ago, then 2-14 in Jim Schwartz’s first year, then 6-10 last year; and now halfway through their 2011 slate Detroit, sitting at 6-2, is a bona fide contender in the NFC. And the Lions aren’t just an empty record either. They have the skill, attitude, reputation, and right now the health (knock on wood) to suggest that they aren’t going away.
So in honor of the Motor City Mufasas, and their roaring wreakers of wreckage Ndamukong Suh and Calvin Johnson, I give to you my Midseason NFL Power Rankings, with each team presented alongside a Motown classic that sums up the first half of its season.
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How many teams would trade their current QB, right now, for Cam Newton?
This is a question I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past several weeks, as I continue to be more and more impressed (and surprised) by how well Cam Newton is transitioning to the NFL in his first season.
After two straight weeks of seeing terrible teams on Sunday Night, the Vikings and Colts, this week’s game is actually a hyped matchup. The Eagles are hosting the Cowboys in a must-win game for the home team.
There were few notable trades before this year’s NFL trade deadline, besides of course the trade of Carson Palmer to the Raiders. One other under the radar trade had to do with former Cleveland Brown and current Detroit Lion Jerome Harrison. The Lions needed a running back to help replace injured Jahvid Best, so they went to the Eagles for help.
The two teams agreed to swap running backs, with Harrison going to Philadelphia and Ronnie Brown going to Detroit. The trade was pending until physicals were done, but this is usually just a formality and rarely produces anything noteworthy. Most guys pass the routine physical and are on their way to their new city.
This time around was different.
Update: The complete NFL Week 6 Power Rankings are now posted.
Week 5 is almost in the books, with just the highly anticipated Lions-Bears Monday night matchup left to play. Since neither of those teams will be bad enough this season to even come close to the #1 pick, there is no need to wait on tonight’s result to post the latest edition of the “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.
I don’t like that NFL teams wear pink during the month of October. I love the idea that they are celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month and doing what they can to increase awareness and honor those who have fallen victim to the disease, but I don’t like that they add pink to the uniforms for the whole month.
30 years from now when the next generation of kids are watching highlights from the 2011 season, they will randomly see players wearing pink, and unless the NFL continues this practice forever, they won’t know why. The great thing about highlights from the 60s and 70s is that teams always looked the same. They were the definition of uniform.
Nowadays each team has at least one throwback or alternate uniform that they wear periodically throughout the season. And while they look great, it messes with continuity. I realize that the extra uniforms bring in racks on racks on racks of extra money each season, but they need to do away with it. Teams should be forced to pick one uniform design – one home, one away – and stick with it. If the throwback uniforms are such a hit and look better than the default uniforms, then switch back.
On to the Week 5 Power Rankings.
Update: The complete NFL Week 5 Power Rankings are now posted. In this “Drunk Girls Alone At The Bar” Edition, Drew Lange ranks every team from 1-32, explains his reasoning for not liking teams adding pink to their uniforms during October, and provides useful advice about, well, drunk girls alone at bars.
Another week of football players on football teams playing National Football League football games is in the books*, which means that it’s time to assess the carnage and see which teams are now best positioned in the yearlong “Suck 4 Luck” Sweepstakes.
The second Sunday Night game of the year features a storyline that may have been relevant a few years ago, but not as much in the present day.
I am talking about Michael Vick returning to Atlanta to take on the Falcons.
Matt Ryan is the new face of the franchise, and most Falcons fans have ultimately moved on from the situation that occurred with Michael Vick. Major media markets enjoy to hype up his return, but it is not as big a deal as they all make it seem.
It’s true what they say about preseason sports predictions being a lot like assholes. “Everyone’s got ‘em, and most of ‘em stink.” (Or something like that.) Yet here I am, sitting down to type out my bold predictions for the 2011 NFL season.
And I have to admit, I’m actually feeling rather emboldened by how my bold predictions for 2010 turned out.
Remember how Brett Favre returning was supposed to give the Vikings one more shot at glory? I correctly predicted they would not make the playoffs, and they didn’t.
Remember how last year was going to be the year for the Houston Texans, the one when they finally overtook Peyton and the Colts? I correctly predicted that a) they would beat Indianapolis in Week 1, but then that b) they’d let their fans down once again. How is that for specificity?
There were other hits (that Chris Johnson wouldn’t lead the league in rushing coming off of his 2,000 yard season) and a few misses (Dolphins and 49ers in the playoffs? What was I thinking…?) but all in all I’d say it was a pretty successful stab at predicting a wildly unpredictable league.
So here we go again: six bold predictions for the 2011 NFL season.
