In this week’s edition he analyzes the ten immediate actions that Mike Holmgren should take in his effort to turn around the Browns. While most of the suggestions are fairly solid and well-reasoned (especially the “Pay Josh Cribbs” one!), this one almost made me fall out of my chair:

Under the heading “Hire Mangini’s Replacement” Florida writes the following:

One obvious candidate is Jim Mora, who might be out in Seattle, depending on who the team’s next general manager is.

If Holmgren hopes to have an active role in the Xs and Os, Jim Zorn makes sense, too. He has experience in the top job, and he’d surely defer to any guidance or suggestions Holmgren might make.

Of course, if Holmgren really wants to get involved, he can coach the team himself, something he has not yet ruled out.

Yes, like many other Browns fans reading this, I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I read that.

Jim Mora has done so poorly in his first season with the Seahawks (replacing Holmgren) that he might be ousted when the Seahawks hire a new GM. Whoo-hoo!

Jim Zorn has done so poorly during his two seasons in Washington that his power has been all but completely usurped and the Redskins’ owner is galavanting about town courting Mike Shanahan. Whoo-hoo!

And Mike Holmgren once was a very successful coach, but got burnt out in Seattle and has now reached an age when many coaches who were formerly successful struggle to climb the mountain again. Whoo-hoo!

So, as far as I’m concerned, Florio went 0-3 in offering potential head coach choices that would inspire me to be hopeful. Then, after I tweeted about this article, someone I respect sent me a direct message on Twitter that said the following:

At least he didn’t throw out Morninwheg like everyone else. I’ll be really ticked if that’s the direction Holmgren goes.

You remember Marty Morninwheg right? Yes, that Marty Morninwheg who somehow made the Detroit Lions worse and whose claim to fame is winning the toss in overtime and deciding to kick.

Brilliant.

I think I need some Pepto Bismol quickly or I’m going hurl all over my computer.

So, to recap, here are the names that I’ve read as being potential head coach candidates in the Cleveland next year:

• Jim Mora (failure in Seattle)
• Jim Zorn (failure in Washington)
• Mike Holmgren (failure his last season in Seattle and now older)
• Marty Morninwheg (failure in life for kicking in OT)

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to being a Cleveland Browns fan…where hope springs eternal!

**********

* – Jim Zorn photo credit: Taylor-Made Tirade

I was going to copy/paste it here for you to read, but then I thought to myself, “who in the hell do I think I am? ESPN?”

Thus, I shall do what the rest of us small, no-name blog sites are required to do: provide a short excerpt to the story and a link for attribution:

Yesterday afternoon, our own Michael David Smith (who writes primarily for AOL’s FanHouse.com) posted a blurb regarding Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter’s belief, as articulated on NFL Network, that Pats quarterback Tom Brady has his own set of rules. Rich Eisen, the NFLN host extraordinaire who handled the segment with Porter, tweeted a link to the MDS story.

Several hours later, someone from “ESPN.com staff” posted the first five paragraphs of the MDS story — word for freaking word.

Word. For freaking word.

To read the full account, and to find the links where you can do a side-by-side comparison that confirms Florio’s claims, head on over to PFT. Yes, I’ve included two links to the PFT story just for good measure.

One of these days…maybe, just maybe…MSF will be a giant like ESPN. And then I can consider everything reported about sports to be under my dominion, free to repost as I please.

Until then, we’ll keep giving credit to a) the original source of a story and b) where we find out about the story if we find out second-hand. You know, the way it’s supposed to be done.

Unless, of course, you’re ESPN. But when you invented sports, I guess you can do whatever you please.

First, on Friday, Midwest Sports Fans obliterated its previous high for visits in a day on Friday with just over 12,000. Today, we’re on pace for well over 5,000 visits. Huge thanks go out to Deadspin, MLB Trade Rumors, and everyone else who linked to us yesterday. Plus, I have to thank the great writers I’m fortunate enough to work with here at MSF for creating such good content. (Although, based on some of the comments, I have failed in my duties as editor. My apologies…sometimes I have to sacrifice meticulousness to get posts up in the middle of the busy workday. I’ll pay more attention from here on out…)

But, even as excited as the facts of the previous paragraph have made me, my excitement reached a whole new level when I checked out Pro Football Talk just a minute ago.

Apparently, well according to an Internet report (*gasp*) anyway, Jay Mariotti is…

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

…aww hell, you already know: a douche bag.

That’s right, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk has joined the chorus of sports fans, and pretty much every other human on Earth other than than Jay Mariotti’s mom, who thinks that Jay Mariotti is a douche bag. Here is an excerpt:

Now we’ve really seen it all.

Jay Mariotti is one of the more recent writers to jump from the slowly-but-surely sinking ship that is the newspaper industry. Mariotti now writes columns for FanHouse, which started as a fan-driven megablog that no one really read all that much and has evolved into a higher-quality operation..that we’re not really sure whether anyone reads.

So Mariotti, whom a lot of people regard as a douchebag, apparently has brought that douchebag newspaper guy attitude to the Internet.

You will have to head over to Pro Football Talk to read more, but suffice it to say that my sarcastic use of the phrase Internet report above was an homage to to Florio’s post about King Douche himself.

The other great part about Florio calling Mariotti out is that it gives me an excuse to post this photo again, taken from Jay Mariotti’s mom’s basement the day he started blogging for FanHouse:

Looks like I might have some competition now for Google searches on the phrase “Jay Mariotti douche bag.” Bring it on Florio. I can share the front page.