It boils down to this:

Some smart NFL franchise that values winning and player development should hire Marty Schottenheimer, who is one of the most underrated coaches, in any sport, of my lifetime.

We hear often, and correctly, that winning football games in the National Football League is hard. When there is a movie called Any Given Sunday based on the well-known and legitimate sentiment that margins between winning and losing in the NFL are razor thin, extra value should be placed on a coach who can win consistently, at a high level, and in multiple places.

Allow me to introduce you to Marty Schottenheimer.

All He Does Is Win (In The Regular Season Anyway)

I have been very encouraged by recent reports that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are looking to hire Marty. If I ran the Jacksonville Jaguars, I’d have cut the Mularkey and strongly considered Marty as well. If I were the Dolphins or the Raiders or the Rams any other team looking for a coach, I’d take a good, long, hard look at Marty too.

Why? I think DJ Khaled’s famous line (tweaked a bit) says it best: all he does is win.

Before I present Marty’s downright ridiculous regular season coaching record, let’s get the negative out of the way right now: he sucks in the playoffs.

When you’ve coached in 18 playoff games and only won five of them, it’s fair to say that you suck in the playoffs.

I’m about to laud Marty for an incredible record of regular season statistics he has compiled; it’s only fair to point out areas where his coaching record does not impress. Any way you slice it, dice it, toss it, turn it, Marty hasn’t been able to get it done in the playoffs with myriad opportunities.

But think about that last phrase as it relates to the playoffs: myriad opportunities.

Unless you are among the handful of great-to-excellent coaches currently in the NFL – Belichick, Reid, McCarthy, Tomlin, Payton, just to name a few – you probably are not getting myriad opportunities at the playoffs. And make no mistake: it is a huge accomplishment to make the playoffs in the NFL. If just winning a game is “hard” think about the difficulty level of winning enough games to reach the playoffs. Now consider doing that 13 times.

Does 5-13 suck in the playoffs? Yes. It sucks bad. But that number 13 is impressive when it represents the 13 teams you’ve led to the playoffs in 20+ seasons as an NFL coach.

How many other coaches in NFL history have made the playoffs in 65% of their seasons?

A couple other fun notes I bet you didn’t realize:

• Marty finished with 9 wins in three of the years he missed the playoffs; so he had nine or more wins in 16 of his 20 full seasons coaching in the NFL
• Only one time – once – did a Marty-coached team finish with fewer than seven wins over a 16-game schedule.
• Since being fired by San Diego after going 14-2 but losing in the Divisional Round in 2006, Marty hasn’t been able to land another NFL head coaching gig.

And it’s this last note that shows just foolish NFL franchises can be.

I’ve alluded to it, but now it’s time to bring out the ultimate trump card in any sports debate. Winning.

Here is Marty’s regular season record and winning percentage in his four NFL head coaching stops:

• Cleveland (’84-’88): 44-27, .620
• Kansas City (’89-’98): 101-58-1, .635
• Washington (’01): 8-8
• San Diego (’02-’06): 47-33, .588
• Total: 200-126-1, .613

Marty Schottenheimer has won 200 regular season NFL games against only 126 losses and one tie. It’s a remarkable record that gets far too little respect. Yes, the playoff failures are a blotch on his resume, but what he’s done in 18 games doesn’t discount what he’s done in the 327 other ones he’s coached.

Also consider this:

• The Cleveland Browns were 1-7 when he took over in the middle of the ’84 season. They proceeded to go 4-4 the rest of that season, then 44-27 under Marty in the ensuing years; and we all know what happened in the AFC Championship Games against Denver…
• The Chiefs were 8-22 in the two seasons prior to Marty taking over.
• The Redskins were 8-8 the year before Marty took over, but maintaining mediocrity in Washington is impressive given this context: it came under Daniel Snyder, and the Redskins have had only three .500 or better seasons since.
• The San Diego Chargers were 6-26 in the two seasons prior to Marty taking over.

There is no substitute for winning in sports. None. It’s not the be all, end all in any debate, nor should it be the only consideration when hiring a coach; but it damn sure better be a huge part of the discussion. Marty may not have won a championship yet*, and he may never win one, but he would be a great head coaching choice for a lot of teams.

* – For the record, Marty is coming off a UFL championship this past season. Maybe he’s gotten the professional football playoff monkey off of his back? Hmm…

NFL’s Losers Should Consider Winning Schottenheimer

You know who else’s playoff record is spotty over the last decade? The Miami Dolphins. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Oakland Raiders. The Jacksonville Jaguars. The St. Louis Rams. You’re telling me that going one-and-done in the playoffs, the general expectation for a Marty-coached team, wouldn’t be a vast improvement over what these franchises are currently doing? I sure think it would be.

As they say, just make it to the dance then anything can happen. Don’t poo-poo a man’s ability to guide teams into the NFL’s second season. Just because other coaches have gotten hot at the right times doesn’t mean they are necessarily better overall football coaches than others who haven’t.

A few caveats: Marty is old (68) and I grant that he’s not a potential home run hire like a Sean Payton or a Mike Tomlin or even a Jim Harbaugh. Marty is a guy who may only coach for a few years, and he’s well known for being a stern disciplinarian. Players are sure not to like that at first, but who cares? These guys are being paid millions to win football games, not to have a coach warm the toilet seat for them before they sit down.

Tampa Bay imploded this year with a lot of young talent and a players’ coach. Maybe they need a little Martyball, a little Hamburger Drill in their lives to maximize their potential.

If some NFL team is smart, it will pair Marty with a young, talented roster and let him maximize that team’s growth through accountability and discipline. Will he win you a Super Bowl? Maybe not. Will he make you competitive and get you to the playoffs? His track record certainly suggests so.

And if you’re a fan of the Dolphins, the Raiders, the Bucs, or any other fledgling franchise just looking for something to believe in, doesn’t annual competitiveness and probable playoff spots sound good right about now? It better. Otherwise your expectations are bit out of whack with reality.

Conclusion: Brief Memo To NFL GMs

Someone, anyone, hire the most underrated football in history. Marty’s earned it. Hell, he even won a professional football championship just to prove to you that he is capable of doing the one thing everyone always criticizes him for.

And we know one thing: if Marty does ever get that elusive Super Bowl title, no one will ever look more like a boss taking the Gatorade bath.

**********

Matt Flynn, Matthew Stafford Have Record-Setting Day in Lambeau

By throwing for 520 yards in a losing effort, Stafford became the third NFL QB to throw for 5,000 yards this year, joining Drew Brees and Tom Brady. Those three could be joined by Eli Manning if he throws for 413 yards for the Giants v. the Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.

Flynn threw for 480 yards and six touchdowns, BOTH GREEN BAY TEAM RECORDS. Absolutely amazing how he put his name in the Packers record books considering virtually all the games started in the last 20 years (315 games) were either by a guy named Favre or Rodgers.

That’s two QB’s, exactly 1,000 yards passing (a record-breaking 971 yards net) – and you thought Baylor v. Washington marked the end of the Mayan calendar.

And, despite resting several regulars besides Rodgers, the Packers succeeded in beating the Lions at home for a 20^th consecutive year.

Not long ago, I actually felt sorry for Detroit. Now, however, I have little sympathy for the Lions and their already tired, arrogant act. I’m looking forward to Detroit’s winless streak in the state of Wisconsin reaching the point that Rodgers will soon be throwing to receivers who were not even born when Mel Gray went off way back in 1991.

Matt Flynn (Re)Emerges…What Now?

It turns out the loss in Kansas City a couple weeks back was not the worst thing in the world to happen. Had the Pack gone into Week 17 at 15-0, Mike McCarthy would have almost been forced to start #12. This way, Matt Flynn got some very valuable playing time – and if by some off-chance Aaron were to go down during the playoffs, it is now known (and GB already knew) that there is a more than capable man waiting in relief. As Don Majkowski was a one-year wonder in 1989, Flynn is a one-game wonder (two if you count last year’s game against New England), and at the present time a better insurance policy than Rodgers could ever get from State Farm.

And to emphasize again, this was not back in the dome in Detroit, or even on a halfway mild day like most of December was in Sconnie. It was like winter suddenly realized that the calendar just turned to January, with Packer Weather – complete with high winds – finally making an appearance.

But Flynn was SO good Sunday that not only did he ultimately make himself a lot of money, but also raised a couple questions not even thinkable even after a couple of Cherry Bombs at a New Year’s Eve party 24 hours earlier…

• Is Flynn now franchise tag material? He would still eventually be shipped out of Green Bay, but not before being flipped for first-round draft choices.

• Or, if the Packers repeat as Super Bowl Champions – and with his value being at it’s absolute peak, could Ted Thompson trade Aaron Rodgers and make Flynn the 2012 starter? They could even find an organization (Dan Snyder/Redskins?) desperate enough to pull a Mike Ditka and TRADE AN ENTIRE DRAFT.

I’ll address option #2 first. If you think Rodgers is going anywhere, you are still cycling down from the New Year’s cocktails. Hypothetically, if Rodgers went down in a playoff game and GB won the Super Bowl with Flynn, then I might dare say a QB controversy would surface, and even then Rodgers is likely still the man. But then who thought Peyton Manning’s future would be questioned 12 months ago…

As for placing the franchise tag on Flynn, there is too much of a $$$ risk.  Under the new CBA, Flynn could be tendered as a non-exclusive franchise player and be offered the average salary of the five highest-salaried QBs over the past five years. The Packers would have a right to match any contract offer by other teams, or refuse and get two first-round draft picks in return. The downside is that if there are no takers the Packers are ‘stuck’ paying a #2 quarterback $15 million in 2012 (higher salary than Rodgers). In addition the franchise tag would not then be available for TE Jermichael Finley and he would likely walk.

Top 12 Potential Free Agent Destinations for Matt Flynn

Barring the above two unlikely scenarios playing out, Matt Flynn will get his starting shot somewhere else in 2012, and he is suddenly the hottest commodity on the free agent market. Here are the top-ten (actually top 12) landing spots as I see it if Flynn is an unrestricted free agent this offseason:

10.  Denver

Is Matt Flynn better long-term than Tim Tebow? You can definitely make that argument. But John Fox and John Elway are all-in on the Tebow experiment for all of 2012. If Tebow doesn’t make a leap next year, then they will be more in the QB market in 2013; but they will sit this year out.

9. Miami/Tampa Bay/Jacksonville

I throw the entire state of Florida in as a package, as all three will be undergoing major overhauls and likely all three with new coaches. Of the three, I only see the Dolphins as a halfway attractive opportunity that Flynn would actually be interested in, and vice versa.

8. Minnesota

Seeing Flynn go to the purple early in his career would be far worse than seeing Favre wind up there in his dying years. Despite a 3-13 record, some pieces would be in place with Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, and a #3 overall draft pick on board. But the Vikes are one of many teams who are already committed with a high 2011 first-round pick (Christian Ponder) so I don’t see the Twin Cities as a landing spot.

7. Tennessee

It is known that Jake Locker is a project, not unlike Tim Tebow. But it’s unlikely that the Titans will pull the plug just one year after making Locker a #8 overall pick.

6. Kansas City

The Chiefs got a good test drive with Kyle Orton and found out what the Broncos and Bears already know: nice QB, but not enough to get them to the next level. There is no dominant team in the AFC West and Dwayne Bowe is a nice #1 target.

5. New York Jets

One of these days this franchise and its fans will finally realize that Mark Sanchez is the NFL’s answer to Ryan Howard. The question is whether the organization will come to their senses this year and look into Flynn. The Jets would be a possibility considering the team is still a contender, and the fan base is demanding to the point that NY might be a player.

4. Cleveland

The Browns do not have that much invested In Colt McCoy, who also has a concussion history dating back to his Texas Longhorn days. Mike Holmgren, and the organization in general, has to make the big splash one of these off-seasons.

3. Washington

I could even put the ‘Skins as the #1 landing spot, especially if Flynn is attracted to the bright lights of the NFC East. The team may be a couple years away, but you know Dan Snyder will spend the cash.

2. Seattle

Wouldn’t be the first Green Bay understudy to eventually migrate to the Pacific Northwest – and Flynn’s name was trending in Seattle on Twitter at the peak of Sunday’s game. The Seahawks have not been bad hovering around .500 the past two years with Pete Carroll, and they definitely have a glaring QB need.

1. Arizona

Signing Kevin Kolb for 6 years/$65 million ($21 million+ guaranteed) was a bad move from the minute the Cards made the move minutes after the end of the NFL lockout. Even with John Skelton at QB, Arizona rallied to finish with an 8-8 record. Flynn could be close to what the franchise had with Kurt Warner a couple years back. The Cards should cut bait with Kolb as soon as they can. If they can do it in a way that makes financial sense this offseason, Flynn would be a better investment and instantly make Arizona instantly a player again in the NFC West.

Nick Saban is not a nice person.

These two things are givens. There is no reasonable argument to make against either.

And just in case you weren’t convinced about the second one, all you need to do is read this post at Sports by Brooks to be convinced. Here is the gist, as Brooks recounts what Heath Evans told to Jorge Sedano on 790 The Ticket in Miami:

Jeno James, our best offensive lineman at the time, comes in and collapses after practice, uh, vomiting all kinds of stuff that would make a billygoat puke, eyes rolled in the back of his head. Myself, about four other lineman are trying to carry him from the locker room, to the training room. 

Obviously it’s a moment of panic, everyone, you know, we don’t know if this guy’s, you know, gonna die, I mean, the whole deal. But he’s so big and sweaty and heavy that we actually have to set him down in the hallway between the locker room and the training room.

Nick Saban literally just starts walking in, steps over Jeno James convulsing, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t try to help, goes upstairs, I don’t know what he does. But then obviously they get Jeno trauma-offed to the hospital.

Saban calls a team meeting about 10:30 that night, comes down and says, ‘You know, the captain of the ship can never show fear or indecision, we’ve always gotta have an answer, and so I had to go upstairs, that’s why I walked over Geno like that, I had to collect my thoughts and decide what’s best for our team.’

That’s Nick Saban for you: he’ll win tons of football games (college anyway) but step over convulsing players in the process.

And this got me thinking…

If he could come in from a 3-hour long practice in the scorching heat of south Florida and step right over a player who is convulsing and puking with his eyes rolled back in his head, what wouldn’t Nick Saban step over?

With just a little bit of Internet sleuthing, I was unable to uncover some other curious step-over decisions made by Saban.

Remember when Alabama wide receiver Tyrone Prothro fractured his tibia and fibula? Mike Shula was the coach then, but Saban was there to step right over Prothro (presumably to show leadership and collect his thoughts).

It seems that Saban has a history of stepping over football players who are suffering from terrible injuries.

Remember when Eric LeGrand of Rutgers was paralyzed? There was Saban, showing not one sign of fear nor indecision.

For the record, I felt a little bad including this one, considering the seriousness of LeGrand’s injury, but it does offer me the opportunity to link to this article about how the inspiring LeGrand is fighting every day to walk again. Every time I see LeGrand on TV, with his positive attitude despite these horrific circumstances, I gain more and more admiration for the kid. So yes, I feel bad including this image here; but if it gets one or a few of you to go read up more on this amazing young man, and if it further sensationalizes how big of a jackass Saban is, then I can live with myself.

Moving on now, how about Little Nick Saban jogging right over a helpless young girl who has crashed on her skateboard?

And then there was that time when Saban stepped over Turd Ferguson while walking alone in a field of Bermuda grass.

Of course, later that day, while still walking in the barren field of grass, Saban came upon an old man who had fallen. Did Saban stop to help the old man? Not a chance.

NO FEAR!

And in another example of Saban-style leaderhsip, the Nicktator also encountered infamous child molester Jerry Sandusky with the kid from Up.

Did Saban even consider stopping? Hell no.

He continued on, probably to collect his thoughts and decide what the appropriate course of action would be.

Nick Saban is the captain of the ship folks. Why would he stop?

Like that time the Titantic was sinking. Did Captain Saban stop to offer a helping hand? Nope, he just did what he’s always known he could do: walked on water and got the hell out of there.

And the thing with Saban is that not only will he not stop, you can barely even distract him.

Hell, there can be riots going on and an ironic meme-ready hookup happening right in front of him, but Saban will just step right over and walk on by.

Not even history can stop Nick Saban.

When everyone in the White House was sitting on pins and needles waiting for Osama bin Laden to be brought to justice, Saban leapt up, stepped over the President, and crunched Hilary Clinton’s laptop.

Why? He had to go upstairs. Or something.

Heck, Saban is such a megalomaniacal, football-focused “leader” that he couldn’t even be bothered to help Zack talk Jesse Spano out of taking more uppers.

She may have been “so excited” but Saban wasn’t about to show even the slightest hint of fear or indecision. What would Slater have thought?

Oh, and then there was that one time when Saban stepped over Drew Brees and his injured shoulder…

Oops.

I guess he didn’t take enough time to collect his thoughts on that one.

For the record, as someone who grew up cheering for the Miami Dolphins, and thus suffered through the insufferable Saban Era in Miami, this was a thoroughly satisfying post to write.

Go LSU.

**********

For some of you, that means you have a team (or hopefully teams) on bye this week. If so, major kudos to you.

For others of you, Week 14 means that it’s the first week of the playoffs. If so, good luck, and hopefully the advice in this post will help you move on.

For others, Week 14 is the last week of your regular season. Maybe you’ve clinched a playoff spot or maybe you’re still scratching and clawing for one. Regardless, hopefully we can do you and your lineup some good with our picks in this week’s start em, sit em.

And for some of you this may be your first week without fantasy football – if your playoffs start this week and you did not make it; but if that’s the case, why would you be reading this?

Alas, if you’re here, you are looking for help in Week 14. And you’re in luck, because that is exactly what you’re about to get.

My apologies to those who came looking for Jon. I’m taking the start/sit reins today. I will do my very best to get you set up for success in this most pivotal of weeks.

Also, no looking back to Week 13, but not because it was a bad week. Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t even remember Jon’s picks. I assume some worked and some didn’t, like any week. But with the stakes now raised, there is no time for the rearview mirror. We look forward.

Here are your Week 14 start/sit picks:

Fantasy Football Week 14 Start em, Sit em QBs

Start Em QB: Matthew Stafford, DET (vs MIN)

Put this one in the no-brainer category.

Frankly, I feel a little bad making it the start em pick at QB, because it’s the equivalent of taking candy from a baby.  Nonetheless, it’s here, because if you own Matthew Stafford you absolutely must have him in your lineup this week.

And it all boils down to matchup.

If you watched the Broncos-Vikings game last week, you saw Broncos wide receivers running around wide open all day, providing easy pitch and catch opportunities for the not-so-renowned-as-a-thrower Tim Tebow. If Tebow, Demaryius Thomas, and Eric Decker could do that against Minnesota, what do you think Stafford, Megatron, Burleson, Titus Young, and Brandon Pettigrew will do?

Chances are they’ll pick up a few dumb penalties…and a lot of passing/receiving yards and touchdowns. Don’t be shocked if Stafford, at home in a must win game for the Lions, ends up as the top scoring player in fantasy football this week, even though I’m going to be a little conservative with my projection.

Matthew Stafford fantasy football Week 14 projection: 345 yards, 3 TDs, 1 INT

Other start em QBs for Week 14:

• Rex Grossman faces a New England defense that made Dan Orlovsky startable last week. I would not start Grossman in a standard league, but he’s a solid two-QB league option this week; or a desperation fill-in with upside if your QB slot got hit by the injury bug.
• Philip Rivers looked like the old Philip Rivers Monday night, against a pretty good defense too. With his weapons healthy, and Buffalo on the schedule, Rivers is safe to deploy this week.
• Every week I scan for who is facing the Colts. This week it’s Joe Flacco. Play Joe Flacco. Even though the Ravens will likely run, run, run against Indianapolis, Flacco will throw enough to be useful. At the very least, he’s safe.

Sit Em QB: Michael Vick, PHI (at MIA)

Don’t do it. Don’t even think about it.

I know that Michael Vick owners are salivating at the thought of Vick returning this week and leading them to fantasy glory down the stretch, but in a one-QB league I wouldn’t even think about starting Vick unless I didn’t have another top 20 option. There are two good reasons:

1. Can you really trust Vick to stay healthy? No, you can’t. Really, you can’t trust him to stay healthy any week, but I’m especially leery about starting him without seeing him play a game since the rib injury.
2. Have you seen what the Dolphins are doing lately? They’ve won four out of five games, giving up a total of four touchdowns in that span.

With so many elite QBs outperforming Vick this season, and many marginal ones with good matchups, why would you risk your one QB spot on Vick?

Don’t do it.

Michael Vick fantasy football Week 14 projection: 200 passing yards, 55 rushing yards, 1 total TD, 1 turnover

Other sit em QBs for Week 14:

• Those of you who relied on Andy Dalton early in the season need to look elsewhere. He’s starting to hit a rookie wall…and this week that wall is Houston and its ball control offense and stingy D.
• I’m not necessarily telling you to sit Tim Tebow, because he always finds a way to put up at least serviceable fantasy numbers. That said, don’t expect a reprise of last week when he faces the Bears.
• Josh Freeman has been a major disappointment this year. I know that Philip Rivers torched Jacksonville Monday night, but the JAX defense has been pretty stingy overall this year. There is more reason to trust Jacksonville’s D than to trust Freeman.

Fantasy Football Week 14 Start em, Sit em RBs

Start Em RB: Ryan Mathews, SD (vs BUF)

As with the Stafford selection, I feel like I may be insulting your intelligence a bit with this pick; however, because Mathews has been so up and down, and because people always ask about him in the comment sections and live chats, I feel compelled to make my Week 14 love for him official.

First, consider that Mathews is red hot. He has two straight 100-yard games, and on Monday night he torched Jacksonville for 112 yards on a mere 13 carries. He also got into the end zone, which he doesn’t always do.

Second, consider his Week 14 opponent, the Bills, who are very generous to opposing running backs. And with Philip Rivers and the Chargers’ passing game getting going, there will be plenty of space for Mathews to roam; and we know how much he loves space.

Ryan Mathews fantasy football Week 14 projection: 115 yards rushing, 1 TD, 15 yards receiving

For the record, Mathews is clearly the #1 option in San Diego now over Mike Tolbert, though Tolbert still has some value as a flex option because he he’ll catch a few passes and get some goalline carries. But there is no debate right now between the two. Mathews is the guy.

Other start em RBs for Week 14:

• These should go without saying, but just to be sure: Ray Rice (v IND); Rashard Mendenhall v (CLE); Maurice Jones-Drew (v TB); Michael Turner (at CAR) – they are all top 10 options because of their proven ability and matchup.
• Adrian Peterson is supposed to play this week, at least that’s what I’m hearing. DO NOT ASK ME IF YOU SHOULD START HIM. Yes, you should. If he plays, he starts, even if the opponent is San Francisco (it’s not, it’s Detroit). End of discussion.
• Reggie Bush has to keep starting; and frankly, you should feel good about it at this point. With the Dolphins set to face the porous Eagles’ run defense, you should actually feel great about it.
• Shonn Greene is getting ready for another December heat up. He scored three TDs last week and faces the Chiefs this week. I like it.
• Looking deeper, C.J. Spiller is a decent option. He had 22 touches two weeks ago and 17 touches last week, and he’s picked up a few chunks under 200 yards with a TD during that span. You saw what MJD did the Chargers in a losing effort last week. Spiller could do about 75% of that…which is still good.

Sit Em RB: LeGarrette Blount, TB (at JAX)

Coming off of two 100-yard games, Blount looked like a surefire, slam dunk start against Carolina in Week 13. The Panthers have been the most generous defense to opposing running backs this year. What did Blount do? He punched 19 yards out of 11 carries. Yuck.

When it gets to playoff time, fantasy football is a lot like real football: you have to go with guys you can trust. It’s great that Blount has the potential for highlight reel leaps and thunderous trucks in any given week. He also can lay super eggs like he did last week. I don’t like kind of variance in my fantasy lineup in must-win scenarios.

Plus, I don’t like Blount’s matchup this week. Forget about what the Chargers did to the Jags last week. Jacksonville was dealing with turmoil galore and just happened to run into a Philip Rivers-led buzzsaw that was finally healthy. San Diego would have put up 20+ on San Francisco Monday night. Make no mistake: Jacksonville has a good defense, and they’ve been pretty stingy to opposing backs all year.

With Tampa Bay being frighteningly inconsistent as a team this year, and Blount dealing with a few unexpected distractions, I’m leaving him on my bench.

LeGarrette Blount fantasy football Week 14 projection: 13 carries, 40 yards, 0 TDs

Other sit em RBs for Week 14:

• Every week you should go down the list of running backs and see who is facing San Francisco. This week it’s Beanie Wells. Sit him. Even with the 49ers likely to be without Patrick Willis, they’ll shut down Arizona’s run game. Furthermore, it’s reasonable to fear Wells getting hurt mid-game. Add it up, and I don’t trust him this week, despite his strong play of late.
• Cedric Benson owners have a tricky decision this week. Benson faces a very good Houston defense, but he has also proven that he can produce against good defenses even when he isn’t racking up yards (see his 41-yard, 2-TD day versus Baltimore). Benson is not an automatic sit because of how big a part of Cincy’s offense he is, but he’s only a borderline top-20 guy because of the matchup, so if you’re loaded at RB he’d be the guy to leave on the bench.
• Did you know the Falcons have the 5th-stingiest fantasy defense against the run? It’s true. That means that there could be fewer points to go around for Cam, DeAngelo, and JStew this week. Since Cam seems to be the one who gets most of the TDs, I’d consider leaving the other two on my bench unless desperate. (Remember: all that production the last two weeks has come against Indy and Tampa.)

Fantasy Football Week 14 Start em, Sit em WRs

Start Em WR: Jabar Gaffney, WAS (v NE)

Yes, I realize that by telling you to start Jabar Gaffney that I am essentially asking you to have faith in Rex Grossman; but I urge you not to look at it that way. Think about it more in terms of me telling you to not trust a Patriots secondary that gives up more average points per game to opposing wide receivers than any other defense in football.

You read that right. In fact, the Patriots give up 2.3 more fantasy points to opposing WRs than even the moribund Vikings do! Here, I’ll prove it.

Plus:

• Gaffney has 12 catches for 187 yards over the last two weeks, including one touchdown.
• Santana Moss has been back for the last two weeks, but he only has nine catches for 71 yards; so clearly he is a) the second option for Grossman and b) helping to draw attention away from Gaffney.
• Fred Davis is suspended, meaning more targets to go around; and surely a few of those targets will go Gaffney’s way.

Gaffney doesn’t score with enough regularity to trust him for TD production, so that makes him barely a top-20 option; but I think you can trust him to give you 6-8 catches and close to 100 yards. If you play three wide receivers, it’s nice to be able to bank on that from one of them.

Jabar Gaffney fantasy football Week 14 projection: 7 catches, 90 yards, .5 TDs (because I think he’ll catch one, but it’s probably more likely that he doesn’t…so don’t expect it.)

Other start em WRs for Week 14:

• I like Torrey Smith this week. He’s struggled the last two weeks, but Baltimore has faced the 49ers and Browns, two teams that have been pretty good against opposing receivers. This week Baltimore faces Indianapolis. Yes, I just chuckled devilishly too.
• Laurent Robinson was finally held out of the end zone last week, but he still amassed 70+ yards on four catches. With Miles Austin slated to return this week, you might be tempted to sit Robinson. I wouldn’t. Tony Romo trusts him, and the Giants are generous to opposing wide receivers. Of the two, give me the guy who has been playing the last two months and caught seven TDs in six games.
• I wouldn’t get down on Steve Smith despite his decreasing production the last month. Atlanta will force Carolina to pass, and the Panthers are without Brent Grimes in the secondary. I expect fireworks from the original Steve Smith.
• When he’s healthy, all Malcom Floyd does is produce. He’s healthy, the matchup is good, and I don’t care if he’s third fiddle in SD’s passing game. Start him.

Sit Em WR: Brandon Lloyd, STL (at SEA)

I’ve been high on Lloyd ever since he came over to St. Louis, and most of the time I’ve been right. Even though the Rams’ offense sucks, Lloyd has been able to carve out a niche as the lone consistent fantasy producer. I’m not sure how he’s done it, but he has.

Last week, however, Lloyd tallied only one catch against the mighty 49ers, and things aren’t looking too good this week. Not only is Sam Bradford dinged up, but his normal backup A.J. Feeley is hurt too. That means that…wait for it…Tim Brandstater could be starting at QB for St. Louis.

Combine the Rams’ woeful offense with this QB uncertainty, and then mix in Seattle’s underrated defense at home, and you have a recipe for a sit ‘em.

Brandon Lloyd fantasy football Week 14 projection: 2 receptions, 40 yards

Other sit em WRs for Week 14:

• Dwayne Bowe is on Revis Island this week, and he still has Tyler Palko tossing him the pigskin. Just didn’t want you to forget.
• I’m not telling you to sit them automatically, because both have been consistently productive this year, but just know that Mike Wallace and Antonio Brown are facing the stingiest pass defense in the league. Granted, the Browns’ pass D numbers are skewed because teams just gash them with the run…but still, 12 weeks is a long time and receivers underperform against Cleveland on a weekly basis. If you have comparable options, go with them this week.
• The Redskins are stingier than you might think against opposing wide receivers. Play Gronk and Wes Welker for sure, but this is a week when Deion Branch doesn’t have a great deal of upside.
• Remember what I said above regarding my dislike for variance? Well, Julio Jones is the poster boy for wide receiver variance this year. Since Carolina is actually decent against the pass, Jones is another guy who is not an automatic sit…but who I’d have a hard time starting in a must-in situation because of how unpredictable he is.

Fantasy Football Week 14 Start em, Sit em TEs

Start Em TE: Kellen Winslow, TB (at JAX)

See, I don’t completely hate the Buccaneers (though I did decide to use a picture of Kellen Winslow in a Browns uniform…just because) nor irrationally love Jacksonville.

Despite their defensive consistency this year (minus Week 13) Jacksonville hasn’t been great against opposing tight ends. They actually give up the third most fantasy points per week to them.

Combine this with my distrust in the Bucs’ running game, and the Bucs’ inconsistency at wide receiver this year, and Kellen Winslow seems like, at worst, a safe and reliable option this week. You could do worse from your tight end in a big spot.

Kellen Winslow fantasy football Week 14 projection: 6 receptions, 60 yards, .5 TDs (again, I’m splitting the difference here; because of the matchup I think he can get one, but he only has two on the year.)

Other start em TEs for Week 14:

• If you’re desperate, consider Kevin Boss. The Packers give up more points to opposing tight ends than anyone, and the Raiders have had constant issues with their wide receivers this year.
• Tony Gonzalez and Vernon Davis are big but inconsistent names who I think you should trust this week because of matchups.

Sit Em TE: Jermaine Gresham, CIN (v HOU)

It’s tough to put Gresham here, because he’s been playing much better lately; and he really should have two more touchdowns if controversial calls had gone his way. Still, the Texans’ defense locks down opposing tight ends like few others, so as tough as Gresham is to sit, it’s even tougher to trust him.

Jermaine Gresham fantasy football Week 14 projection: 4 receptions, 35 yards

Other sit em TEs for Week 14:

• Scott Chandler has actually been decently productive without scoring touchdowns over the last few weeks. However, his production has come against the Jets and Dolphins, two teams that are more generous to opposing tight ends than the Chargers are.
• Aaron Hernandez is far from a must-sit, but he is no longer 1b to Rob Gronkowski’s 1a in New England. Gronk is clearly #1, with Hernandez picking up the scraps as #2. That still usually means 4-5 catches and 45-50 yards per week, but the touchdowns just haven’t been there. Project accordingly.

Fantasy Football Week 14 Start em, Sit em D/STs

Start Em D/ST: Seattle Seahawks (v STL)

The Seahawks have been a better fantasy defense than you might think this year, and they typically play better at home. Mix in a little Tim Brandstater (if Sam Bradford can’t go) and you have all the makings of a safe, potentially explosive fantasy defense for Week 14.

Seattle Seahawks D/ST fantasy football Week 14 projection: 10 or fewer points, several sacks, 2+ turnovers

Other start em D/STs for Week 14:

• The Broncos should get Von Miller back, and they get to face a Bears’ offense that is without Jay Cutler and Matt Forte.
• The New York Jets have fallen quite a way from the must-start-against-anyone status of a couple years back, but I do like them this week against the Kansas City Palkos.

Sit Em D/ST: Dallas Cowboys (v NYG)

The Cowboys have been too up and down for my tastes this year. While Demarcus Ware is always around to get some sacks, and Eli Manning could always revert back to 3-INT Eli, I think this game will be a shootout, and frankly I don’t really want any part of either defense.

Dallas Cowboys D/ST fantasy football Week 14 projection: 24 or more points, two sacks, 1 turnover

Other sit em D/STs for Week 14:

• Detroit’s defense might seem inviting against the 2-10 Vikings, but remember that Suh is out, Peterson is back, and Ponder-to-Harvin has become one of the most dangerous duos in the NFL.
• The Miami Dolphins have been playing pretty good defense lately; yet, even with that, and the fact that I’m telling you to sit Michael Vick this week, the presence of LeSean McCoy and Andy Reid still scares me enough to say that I wouldn’t want the Dolphins’ D starting for me in a must-win situation. The Eagles’ may suck, but they do have explosive capabilities that could, well, explode at any minute.

And that’s it! Another successful start/sit column in the books. Now it’s on to your questions. Have at the comment section, and we’ll be back all week to answer.

Also, since several of you have asked how you can help support MSF for the time we take, quite joyfully, to help you with your fantasy teams each week, I’ll just suggest checking out Daily Joust. You’ve seen me discussing them a lot this season, and they really do have a fun package of weekly fantasy games for you to play, from college to pro. Shoot, Keith Mullett thinks it’s “the best alternative to fantasy sports and gambling ever.“

Click here or on the image below, and if you become a paying member at Daily Joust we’ll end up getting a cut of the money. No pressure, just a suggestion that I’d make regardless of our affiliate status with them, and one that would help us out if you obliged.

Note: I used ESPN’s Points Against tool as a reference while writing this post.

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The first portion begins with the 10-0 Green Bay Packers against the Detroit Lions (AMANDA’S PREVIEW). Dessert is the 9-1 San Francisco 49ers visiting the Baltimore Ravens. (Throw in a certain Indiana Hoosiers hoops coach and the Harbaugh clan is fast becoming the most annoying coaching dynasty in the history of Western Civilization.)

Just don’t forget the main course in the middle; because as any true elitist knows, it is just not quite Thanksgiving without the Dallas Cowboys.

Thanksgiving Football in Big D

Sure, the Packers, Bears, and Lions have their own little thing going far away from America’s vapid coasts (and some people actually notice) – but the Cowboys are still America’s team, confirmed in 1970 when the NFL wisely placed the franchise in the NFC East, instantly creating legendary rivalries with the New York Football Giants, Washington Redskins, and Philadelphia Eagles.

The NFL was also wise in the late 1960′s to make Thanksgiving football an annual event in the Metroplex, and Turkey Day has provided some of the franchise’s greatest memories.

What about Clint Longley coming off the bench replacing a concussed Roger Staubach and heaving a last-minute bomb against the Skins in 1974?

Or an even more unlikely hero when now-coach Jason Garrett got the start in 1994 victory over the Packers, who even at the apex of the Reggie White/Brett Favre/Mike Holmgren era could not buy a win in Texas Stadium.

Then there is the most surreal Thanksgiving memory of all:

Leon Lett and The Most Infamous Play in Thanksgiving Football History

1993, Cowboys, Dolphins, two sun-belt teams, playing on an ice-covered Texas Stadium turf. (TRIVIA – WHO WAS THE DOLPHINS’ QB THAT DAY?? Answer at end of post.) Hoosier alum Pete Stoyanovich attempts a 40-yard field goal. Kick is blocked, and NBC immediately cuts to a celebrating Jerry Jones on the sidelines and Troy Aikman/Michael Irvin hugging each other.

Only one problem: Stoyo was going to get another shot from point blank range.

The commentary from Bob Trumpy said it all, ‘NOT LEON LETT!!!!!’, followed by Dick Enberg exclaiming ‘OH, OH, OH, MY!!!’, and a young Ed Hochuli front and center.

Yup, getting the ball knocked from your hands in the waning minutes of a Super Bowl that kept a 52-17 win from being 59-17 was one thing; but insanely trying to recover a ball on a skating rink when the game was essentially over was quite another.

In a scene resembling something straight out of curling, Miami players spent the next several minutes clearing Stoyanovich’s eventual kicking spot while at least one Cowboys player attempted to kick snow back on the area while the officiating crew attempted to sort out the mess.

Stoyanovich would make good on his second chance and the Dolphins won. That would be Dallas’ last hiccup of the season as Troy/Emmitt/Irvin, and Jimmy Johnson would recover to win a second consecutive Super Bowl. On the other side, this would be the final Dolphins win of the year, they would lose their final five games to miss the playoffs.

Well, the lid on the new Cowboys Stadium eliminates any chance of weather being a factor this time around, but still there are plenty of storylines leading in. Can the current Tony Romo-led team win the NFC East and make the playoffs? And even more importantly, can the Cowboys of this era ever approach the level of their 1990′s predecessors?

And what is there to make of the Dolphins? Four weeks ago the team looked destined to make another run at 0-16 and coach Tony Sparano even mentioned his impending termination to a game official. Now just three weeks after being Tebowed (kind of like being Jimmered), Sparano may still be a dead coach walking, but the Dolphins have since won three straight and at least Tony and Rex Ryan can spend their coaching after-lives wondering how their defenses could let Touchdown Jesus off the hook.

Now for the analysis…

MATT MOORE DOMINATES

Who needed the Chad Henne anointing oil anyway?

And who needs to tank games in order to be able to draft Andrew Luck or Matt Barkley when a team can just simply pick up the undrafted Matt Moore of the scrapheap?

Moore has completed 63.6% of his passes and has had QB ratings of 147.5 and 133.3 in two of the past three weeks. Moore has also completed over 70% of his passes over those three games, only being picked off once in that span.

And then there is another player who got slightly more hype than Matt Moore coming out of the Pac-10. In recent weeks Reggie Bush is finally resembling the talent that was picked #2 overall in the draft in 2006. In the past four games Reggie has accounted for 379 combined yards, 274 of those on the ground. If Bush rushes for a mere 76 yards on Thursday, he will eclipse his previous season-rushing high of 581 yards.

Although Reggie seems to have been around forever (and probably has considering his USC days) it should be noted he is still only age 26. The Dolphins still have a few years of tread left on those tires.

ROMO IS BURNING

Earlier in the season, the criticism reached an all-time high with critics (me included) labeling Tony Romo as the latest incarnation of Brett Favre with his erratic play and penchant of falling short in the clutch. Well, in the past three weeks Romo has thrown eight TD passes v. zero picks, with QB ratings of 112.2, 148.4, and 113.8 in those games. Granted the opposition was not the greatest (Bills, Seahawks, Skins), but he did lead his team to a winning drive in OT Sunday in Washington.

Regardless of what happens v. the Phins, the real kool-aid battery acid test will come in Dallas’ two upcoming games v. the Giants, and ultimately the playoffs. But I don’t think replacing Romo as QB is a necessity at this point.

Others have helped lighten that load, including rookie DeMarco Murray (on track to be a top-ten overall fantasy pick in 2012) who has emerged as a potential franchise back; and Felix Jones is rounding back into form after his annual injury bug and can now resume the role he is more accustomed to as a change-of-pace option.

Then there is much-maligned diva/wide receiver Dez Bryant. He is not THE man, as the Cowboys offensive scheme spreads itself around, but Dez came up with two big plays in Washington, including a 26-yard reception in overtime, that led to the winning score.

THE DEFENSES

Six field goals. That is all that the Dolphins defense has conceded over the past three weeks, and they kept league leading rusher Fred Jackson in check (before he got hurt) this past Sunday.

And Jason Taylor? He’s still in the league!

But the Phins impressive run has been against the likes of the downward-spiraling Bills and Chiefs, Dallas will provide a much stiffer test.

And for the Cowboys, it’s all about Demarcus Ware, approaching perhaps his best season yet with 14 sacks in ten games, which puts him on pace to best his career-high 20 sack season in 2008. He is simply the best pass-rusher in the game right now (with all apologies to Jared Allen groupies). Ex-Cowboy reject Marc Columbo has the difficult task of trying to hold Ware in check Thursday. Look for the Phins to utilize a blocking tight end in an effort to max-protect.

DOLPHINS-COWBOYS PREDICTION

Both teams have two common opponents over the past two weeks. The Redskins lost in Miami 20-9 before losing to the Cowboys in OT. Meanwhile Dallas routed the Bills 44-7 while the Dolphins beat them 20-8 a week later.

Both teams have a three-game winning streak, one will make it four…

Cowboys 27 | Dolphins 16

What do you think?

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TRIVIA ANSWER: STEVE DEBERG (39 AT THE TIME)

Miami Dolphins at Dallas Cowboys Game Info

• Dolphins-Cowboys Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Dolphins-Cowboys Kickoff Time: 4:15 PM EST
• Dolphins-Cowboys TV Network: CBS
• Dolphins-Cowboys Announcers: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms
• Dolphins-Cowboys Point Spread: Cowboys -6.5
• Dolphins-Cowboys Over/Under: 44

The games have not exactly been the most entertaining affairs the last few years, but this year is completely different and the matchup between the Miami Dolphins and the Dallas Cowboys is no exception.

Do not be fooled by the disparity between the two teams in the win/loss column; this game is a cornucopia of story lines. (See what I did there? Cornucopia…because Thanksgiving.)

Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins may be 3-7, but they are much better than their record.

Despite their record they have actually outscored their opponents by a margin of 7 points this season.  They are also coming off of a 35-8 drubbing of the division rival Buffalo Bills last week.  Couple this with the fact that their coach, Tony Sparano, will be very motivated to beat his former team in a year where his job may be on the line.

This is the first time that the two teams have met since Bill Parcells hired Sparano away from his former team.

Dallas Cowboys

This is also a very important game for the Cowboys, who are currently tied with the Giants for the division lead in the NFC East at 6-4 after a rocky start to the season.  They need to win this game to help their chances to make the playoffs, especially since their schedule does not get any easier the rest of the season with two matchups against division the Giants and one against the Eagles.

The Cowboys have been on a roll on the offensive side of the ball with QB Tony Romo playing great football after a tough start to the year.  The biggest surprise for the Cowboys’ offense is the production of their rookie running back, DeMarco Murray.  Murray may have been the best value pick of the draft last year.  The third round draft pick should break 1,000 yards before the season is up and is my choice for Rookie of the Year.

Cowboys-Dolphins Prediction

There are plenty of interesting story lines to watch in this game.  It could be the best game on a day many are considering to the best slate of Thanksgiving Day games in years…maybe ever.

Many are expecting the Cowboys to win handily, but the Dolphins have been producing lately and have lost some close games.  I look for this game to be a lot closer than many think and something tells me the Dolphins might pull it off even without a Leon Lett-esque miracle like their 1993 Thanksgiving Day game.

What do you think?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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Miami Dolphins at Dallas Cowboys Game Info

• Dolphins-Cowboys Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Dolphins-Cowboys Kickoff Time: 4:15 PM EST
• Dolphins-Cowboys TV Network: CBS
• Dolphins-Cowboys Announcers: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms
• Dolphins-Cowboys Point Spread: Cowboys -6.5
• Dolphins-Cowboys Over/Under: 44

John Fox is a coach who looks for a more traditional style quarterback, and that leads me to believe that he did not have much to do with the waiving of Orton. Orton is a quarterback that I feel is better than most quarterbacks starting in the NFL as of today, and many teams could use him as an upgrade from what they currently have.

Here are some of the teams that may have an interest in claiming him.

Ron Chenoy/US Presswire via SI.com

5. Miami Dolphins

Now isn’t this just the Dolphins luck. The guy that they so eagerly tried to get during the offseason, offering the Broncos draft pick after draft pick, is sitting on waivers for them to take.

The Dolphins have played considerably well the past few weeks, winning three games in a row with Matt Moore under center. I don’t think that Miami feels as if Moore is the QB of the future, but they might as well ride out his hot streak. Also, with them being at the bottom of the league in wins, look for them to try and take a franchise QB through the draft.

Final verdict: Unless the Dolphins feel as if they can contend next year with Orton as their QB, don’t look for them to break the bank to try and acquire Orton.

4. Kansas City Chiefs

The Kansas City Chiefs have been bitten by the injury bug pretty bad this season. They lost huge contributors such as Jamaal Charles, Tony Moeki, Eric Berry, and now QB Matt Cassel.

Most fans say that Orton would be an improvement over Tyler Palko but the Chiefs have other holes to fill as well. The Chiefs also have rookie QB Ricki Stanzi waiting in the wings for his first NFL start, and now would be a perfect time to use him.

Granted, the Chiefs are only two games out of 1st place, but they also have huge pieces coming back next year that could help propel them to contention in 2012 barring any major injuries.

Final verdict: Kansas City signing Orton is a possibility, but there are teams out there that are more desperate for a QB than the Chiefs.

3. Washington Redskins

Rex Grossman and John Beck have both played decently in their respective games at QB thus far. They both have very similar numbers, but Grossman has outplayed Beck even though Mike Shanahan benched Grossman against the Eagles.

Still, the Redskins need a solid #1 QB. They also have many holes on both sides of the ball, and taking Orton probably won’t give the Redskins a good shot at the playoffs this year. The NFC East is still a close race, but unless the Giants collapse at the end of the year (which has happened in the past) the Redskins won’t be making any noise. The Redskins could also eschew Orton draft a quarterback such as Robert Griffin III or Matt Barkley, but that all depends on where they end up at the end of the season and if those guys go pro.

Final verdict: The Redksins need a solid starting QB and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were in the running to claim Kyle Orton off of waivers…whether they should or not.

2. Houston Texans

The Houston Texans have never made the playoffs since they came into the league, and this season will most likely break that trend. They have a playoff spot almost wrapped up because they’re in a weak division, and with Peyton Manning out this ahould be the year they make it to the playoffs.

Matt Schaub is done for the year, but the Texans still have a great running game and a solid defense that keep them in the conversation of being a deep playoff team.

Final verdict: The Texans are starting Matt Leinart this week, and depending on how that plays out, I think they will make a serious effort to claim Orton.

1. Chicago Bears

The Chicago Bears are the best team for Kyle Orton in my opinion.

Orton has played for the Bears before and he would fit right in. The Bears have a solid defense and a solid running game, but with Jay Cutler going down until at least the end of the regular season, Orton could lead this team to a Wild Card spot in the playoffs.

This is just my thought, but Denver might want the Bears to take Orton because 3 of the Bears final 6 game are against AFC West opponents.

Final verdict: All in all, this move makes the most sense in my opinion and I wouldn’t be shocked if this is his landing spot.

So in this post I’ll do just that, providing analysis and recommendations for the key players you need to decide on before Turkey Day.

Quickly, before I get to the start/sit analysis for the Thanksgiving Day games, I want to tell you about a fun fantasy contest from our friends at Daily Joust. They are hosting a Thanksgiving Day Turkey Shootout that uses only players playing on Thanksgiving Day in the player pool, has a $5 entry free, and $300 guaranteed prize pool. Plus, not only is it a Super Joust Qualifier, but you can submit multiple entries.

I plan on joining. I’ll post my team later in the week. Are you up to the challenge? Click here. (And yes, if you sign up, it helps us out. But we wouldn’t promote it if we didn’t play ourselves.)

Now onto the start/sit picks.

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Day Start/Sit Quarterbacks

Start em QB: Matt Moore, Miami (at Dallas)

Over the last three weeks, few quarterbacks not named Rodgers have been as consistently good in both real life and fantasy football as Matt Moore. He has six touchdown passes and has been intercepted just once. That’s solid, consistent production that we can somewhat count on.

Granted, he did all of this against Kansas City, Washington, and Buffalo, so this matchup against Dallas will be the best defense Moore has faced in a month. But the Cowboys are better against the run than they are the pass, and Rex Grossman threw for 250+ yards and two TDs on them last week.

Moore isn’t an automatic start like the three QBs mentioned below are, but he is a solid play with upside in two-QB leagues or for anyone stuck with Joe Flacco.

Matt Moore fantasy football Thanksgiving Day projection: 225 yards passing, 1 TD, 0 INT

Other start em QBs:

• Hopefully I don’t need to tell you to start Aaron Rodgers and Matthew Stafford. I haven’t looked at the other matchups, but those two guys may be the #1 and #2 QBs this week.
• It’s still November, which means that Mr. November Tony Romo is still a very good start. He’s hot, and while the Dolphins are playing well they haven’t faced a QB of Romo’s caliber during their win streak.

Sit em QB: Alex Smith, San Francisco (at Baltimore)

Alex Smith has been playing the best football of his career this year; and while I know the Ravens gave up a lot of passing yardage to Andy Dalton and the Bengals last week, they also picked Dalton off three times. I expect the Harbaugh Bowl to be a low scoring, physical affair; and I want no part of Alex Smith against a motivated Ravens defense playing at home in primetime against a team you know they won’t take lightly.

So even though Andy Bottoms likes Smith long-term in his Week 12 waiver wire pickups column, wait a week before deploying him in your lineup.

Alex Smith fantasy football Thanksgiving Day projection: 200 yards passing, 0 TD, 0 INT

Other sit em QBs:

• I don’t like Joe Flacco against the stout 49ers’ defense. I’d play him before I’d play Smith, but I’d hope to need neither.

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Day Start/Sit Running Backs

Start em RB: Kevin Smith, Detroit (v Green Bay)

Well…that came out of nowhere.

Last Sunday during the live chat, I was telling everyone who would listen that I thought a Detroit running back was a good play because of the matchup against Carolina. Turns out I was right, but it also turns out I had the wrong Detroit running back. Rather than Maurice Morris, it was Kevin Smith who made his triumphant return to the Motor City and amassed 200+ total yards and three TDs.

Is Smith for real? I don’t know. Carolina is one of the most generous defenses to opposing running backs. That said, Smith is the guy now in Detroit, certainly until Jahvid Best gets back. Additionally, of all the defenses playing on Thanksgiving Green Bay’s actually gives up the most points to opposing RBs. Just ask LeGarrette Blount.

I wouldn’t get too excited about Smith…yet…but if you win him in this week’s most hotly contested waiver wire battle, feel good about deploying him on Thanksgiving.

Kevin Smith fantasy football Thanksgiving Day projection: 80 yards rushing, 3 receptions, 40 yards, 1 TD

Other start em RBs:

• Frank Gore looked healthy and spry last week, and he faces a Baltimore defense that gave up two scores to Cedric Benson. If Gore plays, you start him. It’s that simple.
• Do you know the Dolphins are the second stingiest defense in terms of fantasy points scored by opposing running backs? It’s true. Still, I’d start DeMarco Murray. He is the focal point of the Cowboys’ offense now, and I think they’ll put up numbers against Miami.
• I thought about making Ray Rice the sit ‘em RB, but I just can’t. Even though San Francisco has given up a whopping total of zero rushing touchdowns this year, they have had a game in which they allowed 14 receptions by Roy Helu. Baltimore has to get their best player involved on offense, and while I expect Rice’s numbers to depressed by the 49ers’ suffocating do, I do think Rice can have enough impact yardage-wise and catching passes to be at least a strong flex play.
• Reggie Bush has scored a touchdown in three straight games, and in the fourth game he had over 100 yards rushing. So he’s been productive, even though his yard per touch rate has decreased the last two weeks. While Dallas is very good at stopping opposing running backs, Bush remains a solid flex play because Miami is finding creative ways to use him around the goalline.

Sit em RB: James Starks, Ryan Grant, et al, Green Bay (at Detroit)

The two-headed running back monster of James Starks and Ryan Grant simply isn’t much of a monster at all. They rarely, if ever, score touchdowns. They don’t rack up great yardage totals to offset the dearth of TD production. And John Kuhn and BJ Raji vulture all the goalline carries.

Plus, Starks is dinged up, and the Detroit defense has been improving some when it comes to holding down opposing running backs. They are in the top half in terms of points allowed. I’d look elsewhere, even if Grant gets the starting job all to himself with Starks out.

James Starks/Ryan Grant fantasy football Thanksgiving Day projection: 75 total yards, 5 receptions, 30 yards

Other sit em RBs:

• Kendall Hunter still has value long-term, especially as a handcuff for Frank Gore owners, but he doesn’t get enough carries as Gore’s backup to warrant starting.
• Maurice Morris…great last name buddy, but enjoy your parting gifts.
• Daniel Thomas is still the running back of the future for Miami, but Reggie Bush is the one scoring touchdowns. Against a stingy Dallas defense, Thomas is probably not worth playing.
• Felix Jones is back. *crickets* On six touches last week he delivered an “explosive” 22 yards. Keep him on your bench. DeMarco Murray is the guy in Dallas now.

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Day Start/Sit Wide Receivers

Start em WR: Torrey Smith, Baltimore (v San Francisco)

You know I’m not big on rookie wide receivers, but I do warm to them later in the season when they prove they can be trusted. Torrey Smith is earning that trust.

Smith had a huge clutch TD against Pittsburgh that built his QB’s faith in him, and then popped for 6 catches, 165 yards, and a TD in a key divisional battle last week. I know that a 3-catch, 28-yard dud against Seattle is sandwiched in there, but Smith is getting the targets and hasn’t caught fewer than three balls since Week 6. There is some risk/reward with him as a deep threat, but the reward is worth it.

And don’t get too scared off by the San Fran defense when it comes to Smith and his buddy Anquan Boldin. Because the 49ers are so stout against the run, teams often take to throwing on them. The 49ers are actually in the bottom half of the league in terms of points allowed to opposing WRs.

Torrey Smith fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 4 receptions, 85 yards, 1 TD

Other start em WRs:

• Michael Crabtree and Alex Smith are developing a nice rapport. He may not get into the end zone, but he’ll rack up at least 5-6 catches and 60-70 yards, with upside for more.
• With Miles Austin likely out again, both Dez Bryant and Laurent Robinson are top-25 wide receivers.
• Jordy Nelson, even though it goes without saying at this point. Also, keep playing Greg Jennings. I know his last few games have been less than what we expect, but do you really want your Thanksgiving to be ruined because he popped for 100 yards and a TD? No, you don’t.
• I’m not quite sure where that 1-catch dud in Week 11 by Brandon Marshall came from, but it’s the only game this year he’s had fewer than four catches. He stays in your lineup.
• ‘Tron. Also Nate Burleson, who has two straight excellent games and faces the inviting Packers’ defense this week.

Sit em WR: James Jones, Green Bay (at Detroit)

Jones flashed his potential in weeks 3-7 when he averaged 3+ catches and 62 yards per game to go along with three touchdowns. However, in the three games since then Jones has caught just two total passes. This has coincided with Jordy Nelson becoming the most explosive receiver in the NFL, and though I don’t watch Green Bay games I have to think there is some level of causation to that correlation.

I know you’ll be tempted to play Jones because it’s Thanksgiving – and he certainly has TD potential any week, any play – but the targets just aren’t there to justify it right now; plus, Detroit is actually the second-stingiest defense for opposing wide receivers playing on Thanksgiving (after Dallas).

James Jones fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 2 receptions, 35 yards, 0 TD

Other sit em WRs:

• I don’t like any Dolphins receiver not named Brandon Marshall.
• Lee Evans is supposedly back for Baltimore. Whoop-de-doo. Torrey Smith stole his role as deep threat.
• Braylon Edwards let a touchdown slip right through his fingers last week. You can’t start him until he proves he can make an impact.

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Day Start/Sit Tight Ends

Start em TE: Brandon Pettigrew, Detroit (v Green Bay)

The Chicago Bears give up the most fantasy points to opposing tight ends. Do you know who is second? The Green Bay Packers. This makes Pettigrew an automatic start this week, as does his consistency.

No, Pettigrew has not been as explosive lately as he was earlier in the season, but he’s caught at least three balls in every game but one this year, and he remains a redzone target as he scored a TD last week.

Brandon Pettigrew fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 5 receptions, 70 yards, 1 TD

Other start em TEs:

• The Ravens are actually the stingiest defense against opposing tight ends, so you’re forewarned; still, I’d start Vernon Davis. He’s becoming more and more involved in the passing game, and he has scored in two straight weeks. He’s not an automatic start, but unless you have a top-10 alternative I’d keep him in there.
• Jason Witten. ‘Nuff said.

Sit em TE: Jermichael Finley, Green Bay (at Detroit)

Remember when Jermichael Finley was supposed to be the next Antonio Gates? Since that time, Jimmy Graham and Rob Gronkowski have clearly passed him, along with Aaron Hernandez and even the likes of Jermaine Gresham. Finley has talent, but the targets and touchdowns just aren’t there. Plus, Detroit is pretty stingy to opposing tight ends.

Finley has immense potential every week, but it’s crunch time. You need guaranteed production from the tight end spot. I’d look elsewhere but hang onto Finley for depth.

Jermichael Finley fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 2 receptions, 30 yards, 0 TD

Other sit em TEs:

• Ed Dickson came out of nowhere to score two TDs two weeks ago against Seattle. That game is sandwiched between games in which Dickson averaged two catches and 15 yards. San Fran is solid against tight ends thanks to the marvelous Patrick Willis. You can do better.
• Anthony Fasano has scored four touchdowns over his last four games, but in three of those games he had only two receptions. Dallas is pretty stingy to opposing TEs. Again, you can do better.

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Day Start/Sit D/STs

Start em D/ST: San Francisco 49ers and Baltimore Ravens

I like both defenses in this game. San Fran is #1 in the league in points allowed (14.5 per game) and Baltimore is #3 (17.6). Plus, neither team’s QB exactly inspires confidence. So expect a physical, low-scoring game, with both defenses looking to make the play that turns the tide and wins it.

If you happen to have both defenses, the edge goes to San Francisco because of the added dimension and potential Ted Ginn brings in the return game.

San Francisco 49ers fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 14 or fewer points, 3+ sacks, 2 turnovers

Baltimore Ravens fantasy football Thanksgiving day projection: 14 or fewer points, 2+ sacks, 1 turnover

Other start em D/STs:

• The Dallas defense isn’t an automatic start, not after giving up 24 points to Sexy Rexy and the Rexskins, but they are a decent play against Miami.

Sit em D/ST: Miami Dolphins (at Dallas)

I know that the Miami defense has been very good lately, especially last week against Buffalo, but this Dallas offense is light years better than Buffalo’s. Miami has faced Matt Cassel, John Beck, and Ryan Fitzpatrick during their three-game winning streak. This week they face at hot Tony Romo, DeMarco Murray, Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, and Laurent Robinson in Cowboys Stadium. That’s not favorable.

Miami Dolphins fantasy football Thanksgiving Day projection: 24 or more points, 1 sack, 1 turnover

Other sit em D/STs:

• Is there anyone who doesn’t expect a shootout in Detroit? Though both defenses have weekly sack and TD potential, it’s a safe bet to expect 60+ points in this game. I wouldn’t want either D playing for me (but Green Bay would be the choice if I had to play one.)

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I’m looking back on my selections, and I just realized I told you to sit a wide receiver and a tight end in what could be the highest-scoring Thanksgiving Day game ever. I’m not re-thinking either suggestion though. The potential is there, but the production just hasn’t been evident on the field to make me trust either Jones or Finley. We’ll see how those picks work out.

And don’t forget about the Thanksgiving Day Turkey Shootout. Click here to enter and make your Thanksgiving Day of football even more exciting.

Jon will be here tomorrow with start/sit advice on the rest of the Week 12 action. The comment section is open for your questions. Try to keep this thread Thanksgiving-specific if you can…although I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Good luck and happy Thanksgiving to all!

Maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather here in Ohio, or the absence of NBA games that were supposed to have already started, or that I haven’t heard a whole lot about this year’s Black Friday mega-deals, but it sure seems like Turkey Day snuck up on me this year.

Of course if you’re reading this article, you are probably almost as excited about watching an entire day of football as you are enjoying the best (and likely biggest) meal of the whole year and the company of loved ones.

Like cooking out and baseball on July 4th, and college football (and hopefully not too much of a hangover) on New Year’s Day, Thanksgiving and NFL football combine to make one of the greatest days of the year for sports fans.

For the third straight year, this is the official image of Thanksgiving Day football on MSF.

So just what can we expect to see as we eat second and third helpings of turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and chocolate chip cookies (my grandma’s cookies are always the perfect way to cap off the meal)?

The NFL really nailed it this year, as we have 3 great games to watch and story lines galore.  Here is everything you need to know to get ready for this year’s Thanksgiving Day NFL action.

Note: Point spread information is current as of late Sunday night.  As the lines move, we will do our best to update the article to provide the most current information possible.

NFL Thanksgiving Day Football TV Schedule

Point Spreads – Kickoff Times – Announcers – Picks & Predictions

—

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions Game Info

• Packers-Lions Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Packers-Lions Kickoff Time: 12:30 PM EST
• Packers-Lions TV Network: FOX
• Packers-Lions Announcers: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman
• Packers-Lions Point Spread: Packers -5.5
• Packers-Lions Over/Under: 55
• MSF: Packers-Lions Preview and Prediction

Packers-Lions Preview and Prediction

Remember when the only think to look forward to about watching the Lions on Thanksgiving was seeing what havoc Barry Sanders would inflict upon their opponent?  And remember when Sanders retired and everyone began lobbying for a different team to take Detroit’s place in the annual Thanksgiving slot?

The 2011 incarnation of the Lions, with Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh  has shed all of those ugly memories, morphing into an offensive powerhouse with a penchant for overcoming huge leads and a mean streak on the defensive side.

Fortunately for us fans, the Lions will get to play the undefeated Packers, so the chance for a dramatic finish will be high.

The Packers looked a little less invincible this past week against Tampa Bay than they normally do, so it will be interesting to see what a short week against what is likely the toughest opponent they have faced yet this year will bring.

I expect both teams to be able to move the ball with ease, but I think the Lions will turn the ball over a couple of times and allow Green Bay to get out to a large lead.  Despite the Lions’ ability to overcome double-digit deficits, I see them falling a little short in this one.

• Packers-Lions Spread Pick: Packers -5.5

Miami Dolphins at Dallas Cowboys

• Dolphins-Cowboys Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Dolphins-Cowboys Kickoff Time: 4:15 PM EST
• Dolphins-Cowboys TV Network: CBS
• Dolphins-Cowboys Announcers: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms
• Dolphins-Cowboys Point Spread: Cowboys -6.5
• Dolphins-Cowboys Over/Under: 44

Cowboys-Dolphins Preview and Prediction

Just a few weeks ago, this game might have seemed like a dud,  but the Dolphins have surged to 3 straight victories, including this past week’s 35-8 drubbing of the Buffalo Bills.

Once considered the frontrunners in the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes, the Dolphins are showing signs of life and competing every week behind quarterback Matt Moore and Reggie Bush, who is starting to resemble the Reggie Bush of years past.

Dallas comes in at 6-4 and tied for the NFC East lead.  Say what you will about the Cowboys’ postseason failures and Tony Romo’s lack of clutch play, the fact is that Romo and his team are dominant in November.  In November, as a starter, Romo is 18-2 with 49 touchdown passes against only 12 interceptions in his career.

The Dolphins are going to come back to earth sometime, and I expect that to be now.  On a short week, traveling to Dallas, Miami will struggle in all phases, and I see Dallas rolling over them and staying atop the NFC East.

• Dolphins-Cowboys Spread Pick: Cowboys -6.5

San Francisco 49ers at Baltimore Ravens

• 49ers-Ravens Date: Thanksgiving Night, Thursday, November 24th
• 49ers-Ravens Kickoff Time: 8:20 PM EST
• 49ers-Ravens TV Network: NFL Network
• 49ers-Ravens Announcers: Brad Nessler and Mike Mayock
• 49ers-Ravens Point Spread: Ravens -3
• 49ers-Ravens Over/Under: 39
• MSF: 49ers-Ravens Preview and Prediction

What more can you ask for in a Thanksgiving evening game (other than for cable companies to all pick up the NFL Network)?

The Brothers Harbaugh square off against one another for the first time as NFL head coaches, with Jim Harbaugh’s 49ers, a surprising 9-1 and the runaway leader of the NFC West traveling to face John Harbaugh’s Ravens, who are tied for the AFC North lead after beating the Cincinnati Bengals last week.

These teams are built similarly, with punishing defenses (the 49ers are 1st against the run, the Ravens are 3rd) and elite, multi-purpose running backs (Frank Gore and Ray Rice).  The winner of this game will likely be the team who is able to have more success running against the other’s front 7.

Of concern for the Ravens is getting Rice consistent touches.  This season, Rice has averaged just over 14 carries per game, which for a star back is not nearly enough.  He is a valuable part of the receiving game too, with 51 receptions, but the Ravens need to find a way to establish Rice early and often.

The Ravens’ game plan lately has been a pass-heavy attack, but Joe Flacco is not Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees; he is not the type of quarterback who can give his team the best chance to win by consistently throwing over 35 times per game.

I think the 49ers will be able to run on Baltimore, especially if Ray Lewis were to miss the game (he is questionable currently with a toe injury that forced him to miss the Cincinnati game).  As long as Alex Smith is able to play conservative, mistake-free football like he has done in the first 10 games this year, I think the 49ers win.

• 49ers-Ravens Spread Pick: 49ers +3

That’s all the information you’ll need to know to enjoy this Thanksgiving’s NFL games.  We at MSF hope you enjoy great food, family, friends, football and fun (holy alliteration!) this Thanksgiving.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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Follow me on Twitter @keithmullett

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Image credit: footballbabble.com

Maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather here in Ohio, or the absence of NBA games that were supposed to have already started, or that I haven’t heard a whole lot about this year’s Black Friday mega-deals, but it sure seems like Turkey Day snuck up on me this year.

Of course if you’re reading this article, you are probably almost as excited about watching an entire day of football as you are enjoying the best (and likely biggest) meal of the whole year and the company of loved ones.

Like cooking out and baseball on July 4th, and college football (and hopefully not too much of a hangover) on New Year’s Day, Thanksgiving and NFL football combine to make one of the greatest days of the year for sports fans.

For the third straight year, this is the official image of Thanksgiving Day football on MSF.

So just what can we expect to see as we eat second and third helpings of turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and chocolate chip cookies (my grandma’s cookies are always the perfect way to cap off the meal)?

The NFL really nailed it this year, as we have 3 great games to watch and story lines galore. Here is everything you need to know to get ready for this year’s Thanksgiving Day NFL action.

Note: Point spread information is current as of late Sunday night. As the lines move, we will do our best to update the article to provide the most current information possible.

NFL Thanksgiving Day Football TV Schedule

Point Spreads – Kickoff Times – Announcers – Picks & Predictions

—

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions Game Info

• Packers-Lions Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Packers-Lions Kickoff Time: 12:30 PM EST
• Packers-Lions TV Network: FOX
• Packers-Lions Announcers: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman
• Packers-Lions Point Spread: Packers -5.5
• Packers-Lions Over/Under: 55
• MSF: Packers-Lions Preview and Prediction

Packers-Lions Preview and Prediction

Remember when the only think to look forward to about watching the Lions on Thanksgiving was seeing what havoc Barry Sanders would inflict upon their opponent? And remember when Sanders retired and everyone began lobbying for a different team to take Detroit’s place in the annual Thanksgiving slot?

The 2011 incarnation of the Lions, with Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh has shed all of those ugly memories, morphing into an offensive powerhouse with a penchant for overcoming huge leads and a mean streak on the defensive side.

Fortunately for us fans, the Lions will get to play the undefeated Packers, so the chance for a dramatic finish will be high.

The Packers looked a little less invincible this past week against Tampa Bay than they normally do, so it will be interesting to see what a short week against what is likely the toughest opponent they have faced yet this year will bring.

I expect both teams to be able to move the ball with ease, but I think the Lions will turn the ball over a couple of times and allow Green Bay to get out to a large lead. Despite the Lions’ ability to overcome double-digit deficits, I see them falling a little short in this one.

• Packers-Lions Spread Pick: Packers -5.5

Miami Dolphins at Dallas Cowboys

• Dolphins-Cowboys Date: Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 24th
• Dolphins-Cowboys Kickoff Time: 4:15 PM EST
• Dolphins-Cowboys TV Network: CBS
• Dolphins-Cowboys Announcers: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms
• Dolphins-Cowboys Point Spread: Cowboys -6.5
• Dolphins-Cowboys Over/Under: 44

Cowboys-Dolphins Preview and Prediction

Just a few weeks ago, this game might have seemed like a dud, but the Dolphins have surged to 3 straight victories, including this past week’s 35-8 drubbing of the Buffalo Bills.

Once considered the frontrunners in the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes, the Dolphins are showing signs of life and competing every week behind quarterback Matt Moore and Reggie Bush, who is starting to resemble the Reggie Bush of years past.

Dallas comes in at 6-4 and tied for the NFC East lead. Say what you will about the Cowboys’ postseason failures and Tony Romo’s lack of clutch play, the fact is that Romo and his team are dominant in November. In November, as a starter, Romo is 18-2 with 49 touchdown passes against only 12 interceptions in his career.

The Dolphins are going to come back to earth sometime, and I expect that to be now. On a short week, traveling to Dallas, Miami will struggle in all phases, and I see Dallas rolling over them and staying atop the NFC East.

• Dolphins-Cowboys Spread Pick: Cowboys -6.5

San Francisco 49ers at Baltimore Ravens

• 49ers-Ravens Date: Thanksgiving Night, Thursday, November 24th
• 49ers-Ravens Kickoff Time: 8:20 PM EST
• 49ers-Ravens TV Network: NFL Network
• 49ers-Ravens Announcers: Brad Nessler and Mike Mayock
• 49ers-Ravens Point Spread: Ravens -3
• 49ers-Ravens Over/Under: 39
• MSF: 49ers-Ravens Preview and Prediction

What more can you ask for in a Thanksgiving evening game (other than for cable companies to all pick up the NFL Network)?

The Brothers Harbaugh square off against one another for the first time as NFL head coaches, with Jim Harbaugh’s 49ers, a surprising 9-1 and the runaway leader of the NFC West traveling to face John Harbaugh’s Ravens, who are tied for the AFC North lead after beating the Cincinnati Bengals last week.

These teams are built similarly, with punishing defenses (the 49ers are 1st against the run, the Ravens are 3rd) and elite, multi-purpose running backs (Frank Gore and Ray Rice). The winner of this game will likely be the team who is able to have more success running against the other’s front 7.

Of concern for the Ravens is getting Rice consistent touches. This season, Rice has averaged just over 14 carries per game, which for a star back is not nearly enough. He is a valuable part of the receiving game too, with 51 receptions, but the Ravens need to find a way to establish Rice early and often.

The Ravens’ game plan lately has been a pass-heavy attack, but Joe Flacco is not Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees; he is not the type of quarterback who can give his team the best chance to win by consistently throwing over 35 times per game.

I think the 49ers will be able to run on Baltimore, especially if Ray Lewis were to miss the game (he is questionable currently with a toe injury that forced him to miss the Cincinnati game). As long as Alex Smith is able to play conservative, mistake-free football like he has done in the first 10 games this year, I think the 49ers win.

• 49ers-Ravens Spread Pick: 49ers +3

That’s all the information you’ll need to know to enjoy this Thanksgiving’s NFL games. We at MSF hope you enjoy great food, family, friends, football and fun (holy alliteration!) this Thanksgiving.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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Follow me on Twitter @keithmullett

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Image credit: footballbabble.com

In my opinion though, the hardest thing is staying in the present.

What do I mean?

Well, not only do you have to keep track of all of your players -  every rookie, waiver wire guy, and breakout performer on both your regular teams and weekly fantasy football teams – but you also have to be able to forget about the past and the future.

Who cares if Fred Jackson was bad last week…how will he do THIS week?

I know LeGarrette Blount’s prognosis for the rest of the year looks bleak…but can he give me one more week of solid production?

Most importantly, you have to remember that nobody can be perfect; and no matter how much you know, sometimes the athletes just have bad days.  (Yes, Jerod…I’m talking to you.  I will take my Tim Tebow, Fred Jackson, and Julio Jones predictions with me on my way to a big time network.)

[Editor's note: FINE! GO! I presciently told some people to sit Vincent Jackson and DeMarco Murray with very solid reasoning last week...you think I'm worried about losing YOU and your successful picks? HA!]

In all seriousness though, making predictions is quite hard…especially when you know it’s impossible to hit every pick out of the park.  Fortunately, I was on the money last week, nailing almost 75% of my picks.

Once again, I have to thank Verizon for helping me get there.

As you know, Verizon has hooked me up with a pretty sweet deal.  As part of our agreement, they have given me a Droid Bionic, equipped with NFL Mobile.  No matter where I am, I have instant access (on unbelievable 4G LTE speeds) to every fantasy player on my team.

Once again, I can’t talk about this enough.  Every time a new piece of technology comes out, we all ask ourselves the same question: “Is this REALLY going to be worth it?”  Sometimes, the new creation is called the iPad…and it revolutionizes everything.  Other times, it’s the iPad 2…where a company basically changed a device’s color, put a sticker, and made you waste $600.  When I heard about 4G speeds, I didn’t think twice about it.  I figured it was all a scam, and a waste of money.  Boy was I wrong.  Every time I watch my wife pull out her old-school Blackberry, and simply try to pull up google, I laugh at her.  Then, I get annoyed.  In a world full of impatient people, 4G speeds have made me a happier person.

Anyways, Verizon has helped me to stay current, and even better they have offered the MSF readers something spectacular:

Let me just repeat that again to make sure you noticed:

Verizon is offering YOU something AWESOME.  

One lucky MSF fantasy reader will get TWO free tickets to this weekend’s Colts/Jaguars game in Lucas Oil Stadium. All you need to do is comment on the bottom of this page in order to enter.

Yes, it’s as easy as asking a start/sit question about your fantasy team, which you probably were going to do anyway.

Just be sure to tag your comment with #indy so we know you can actually go to the game if you win.

Scroll to the bottom for more details, but believe me you won’t want to miss this crazy awesome opportunity.

As always, we begin this week’s post with a quick recap of last week’s picks.  (And also, don’t forget: the Raiders and Chargers play this Thursday Night, so make sure you set your rosters now!)

Last Week’s Picks: 16 for 22 (73 %)

• Hits: Matt Ryan, Tim Tebow, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, Joe Flacco, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Ben Roethlisberger, Michael Turner, Fred Jackson, Julio Jones, Antonio Brown, Steve Johnson, Nate Washington, NE Wide Receivers, Jake Ballard, and Scott Chandler
• Misses: LeGarrette Blount, Beanie Wells, Roy Helu, Plaxico Burress (by a half-yard), Dustin Keller, and Vernon Davis.

Once again, “Start Em” guys are QBs/TEs outside of the Top 12 and RBs/WRs outside of the Top 25. “Sit Em Guys” include QBs/TEs that are in the Top 12 and RBs/WRs that are in the Top 25.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Quarterback

Start Em QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick (@ Dallas)

Is Dallas’ defense better this year?  Yes.

Has it regressed in recent weeks?  Yes.

Is their passing defense still below average?  Yes.

Is Fitzpatrick coming off of a rough week and ready to showcase his Harvard pedigree?  Who knows.  I think he is.  And I think that he’s a must-start this week.

Ryan Fitzpatrick fantasy football Week 10 projection: 290 yards, 3 TDs.

Other start ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Mark Sanchez – Not that he’s good…but New England’s pass defense is BAD.
• Philip Rivers – Very favorable matchup against a reeling Oakland defense.  Hey, you would be reeling too if your coach just traded TWO #1 draft picks for Carson Palmer.
• Tony Romo – He’s been pretty good at home this year, and Buffalo’s pass defense is atrocious.

Sit Em QB: Jay Cutler (v Detroit)

I actually REALLY like Jay Cutler.

I think he’s a really good quarterback, and he’s incredibly underrated for reasons that are completely unrelated to his actual play on the field.  Unfortunately for him, his offensive line has been, let’s just say…below average this year.  And in Week Ten, he will be matched up against the Detroit defensive line that is coming off a bye.

Yikes.

Jay Cutler fantasy football Week 10 projection: 240 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs.  8 sacks.

Other sit ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Andy Dalton – He’s good…but Pittsburgh’s pass defense is better.
• Eli Manning – As I’m sure Jerod will note, San Francisco MIGHT have the best defense in the league…Eli might not be ELI-TE this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

I like Ryan Fitzpatrick this week, but I don’t want to take him out for Valentine’s Day dinner, get down on one knee, and give him a ring…as you seem to want to do. Fitzpatrick has actually thrown 3 TD passes in a game twice this year, but both came in the first two weeks of the season. The league has caught up to Buffalo since them. Fitzpatrick is a solid start at QB, but hold off the Washburnian marriage proposals.

I’m fine with sitting Cutler against Detroit. The Lions’ D-Line is at least 5X better and tougher than the Eagles’, so I can see this game going much, much differently.

As for Eli struggling against the 49ers, yes I think it will be tough for him. Still, I think Eli is a borderline top-10 QB this week because the way to beat San Fran is through the air – you do not run on them – and frankly, Eli deserves as much respect as any non-Aaron Rodgers QB in the league this year. So sit him at your peril.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Running Back

Start Em RB: DeAngelo Williams (v Tennessee)

Coming off a bye, Williams will be fresher than he’s been all year.  He’s also playing a Tennessee defense that is ranked 23rd in the league against the run.  With an increased emphasis on stopping Cam Newton, I expect the Panthers to respond by pounding it out on the ground just like old times.

I actually like Jonathan Stewart this week as well, but I expect DeAngelo Williams to have a big game.

DeAngelo Williams fantasy football Week 10 projection: 140 total yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• All starters in the Kansas City/Denver game
• Michael Turner – Atlanta really likes to pound the ball on the ground against the Saints in order to try and control the clock.  Expect Turner to have a great game.

Sit Em RB: Jahvid Best (at Chicago)

He’s a little banged up, and he’s been slipping a lot lately.  The fact is, if not for a few lucky home run plays the last few games he played, Best has been a huge disappointment.  Plus, he only has 3 TOTAL TDs this season – even with Megatron’s unbelievable dominance and all.

I don’t trust Best against Chicago this week at all, even if he somehow plays.  Expect the Lions to throw it…a lot…and be successful.

Jahvid Best fantasy football Week 10 projection: 45 total yards

Other sit ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• Knowshon Moreno – HE’S NOT GOOD!!!
• Patriots’ RBs – The Jets will make NE completely one-dimensional this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

Loyal MSF fantasy readers, I cannot in good faith endorse DeAngelo Williams as a start in all but the most desperate of circumstances. Just know if you start him that DAW has had one – one – useful fantasy week all season (Week 5 v New Orleans…thanks to one big run). So trust Washburn at your own peril on this one.

As for Jahvid Best, well I can’t let this go without some lampooning, now can I? Jon, you realize you’re telling us all to sit a guy that is widely expected not to start anyway, right?

Best is dealing with yet another concussion, a problem he’s had since college. It’s sad, because he’s a talented player, but I don’t think he’ll ever be able to reach his potential because of injury.

Regardless, Best is a guy to consider dropping, not just sitting, so don’t give Washburn any bonus points next week if he correctly predicted a fantasy football invalid to be worthless.

And finally…sit Knowshon Moreno??? Really? Was that before or after Willis McGahee almost single-handedly spurred the Broncos to victory last week while Moreno had 8 total yards?

Come on Jon. You’re better than these picks; and I only feel comfortable honestly calling you out because I know our readers like you and respect you and will demand more from you.

Besides, honesty and candidness is the MSF way.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Wide Receiver

Start Em WR: Steve Breaston (Denver)

He’s quietly having a solid season, and Denver’s pass defense is very mediocre.

Look for Champ Bailey to cover Dwayne Bowe all day, and look for Breaston to run wild in the process.  This isn’t to say that Bailey will shut down Bowe; actually, I’m trying to point out that a mildly washed up Champ Bailey is Denver’s BEST defensive back, which is good news for KC WRs.

Steve Breaston fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 90 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em WRs for Week Ten:

• Josh Cribbs – He is having a randomly solid season as well…and he should put up some nice numbers against St. Louis.
• Pierre Garcon – This week might be Indy’s best chance for a W all season.  Look for “the waiter” to have a solid day against Jacksonville.

Sit Em WR: Deion Branch (@ NY Jets)

At this point, if you are still starting New England wide eeceivers not named Wes Welker, you are DEFINITELY not staying current.  However, just in case, don’t start Deion Branch.

Darrelle Revis does NOT do a great job of defending the slot, so he will probably be matched up with Branch all day.  I shouldn’t have to say anything else.

Deion Branch fantasy football Week 10 projection: No catches

Jerod’s thoughts:

I guess we don’t get any other potential sit ‘em WRs this week? Geez Jon; I know you’re distraught about the NBA lockout, but there is no reason to take it out on our loyal fantasy football readers.

Here you go folks…here are a few normally startable WRs that you may want to think twice about:

• AJ Green and the Bengals finally face a good defense, the Steelers. Be wary. The last elite defense Cincy faced was when San Fran shut Green down to the tune of 4 catches for 29 yards.
• You know I like Brandon Lloyd for the balance of the season, but I could see him struggling a bit this week in a low-scoring affair against Cleveland in which Joe Haden will surely be draped all over him.
• Mike Williams has six catches in each of his last three games for Tampa Bay, but he’s averaging less than 10 yards per catch over his last four. Last year’s TD machine isn’t producing TDs, and while I continue to profess patience with him, I’d be okay with you placing the burden of proof on him.

As for Jon’s picks, I think Breaston is a solid option at WR this week, and Deion Branch is a weekly wild card; but with Tom Brady and New England’s offense struggling, I too would sit Branch against the Jets and Revis.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Tight Ends

Start Em TE: Jake Ballard, New York Giants (@ San Francisco)

San Francisco’s defense is VERY good, especially at shutting down opposing running games. Ballard should get a lot of touches in Week Ten as Eli will probably have to throw but still be under pressure much more than he was this past week. Plus, he is gaining trust with Big Play Ballard by the week.

Jake Ballard fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 60 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em TEs for Week Ten:

• Brandon Pettigrew – Chicago has a rough time defending TEs.

Sit Em TE: Dallas Clark (Jacksonville)

May he Rest In Peace.

Dallas Clark fantasy football Week 10 projection: 1 reception, 10 yards, 0 TD

Jerod’s Thoughts:

Hmm…well since Dallas Clark reportedly has a “significant leg injury” I suppose that’s a pretty good Sit ‘Em pick, though I hope you won’t take credit for that as a “hit” next week.

As for Ballard, I continue to like him, so I endorse that start ‘em pick, and I think Brandon Pettigrew could have success against the Bears like Brent Celek did last week.

As for the potential misses in Week 10, I continue to look at Jermichael Finley with skepticism because he just isn’t that involved in the Packers’ offense. He wouldn’t be in my top 12 TEs for this week, and I think you’d be well within your right to place a “prove it” tag on him.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Defenses

[Editor's note: the rest of this post is written by Jerod.]

Start Em Defense: Miami Dolphins (v Washington)

The Dolphins have played better than their record, and their defense showed a lot in last week’s drubbing of the Chiefs. Kansas City isn’t a great team this year, but they can be explosive on offense. The Dolphins wouldn’t let them. This week they face a John Beck-led offense that could do nothing more than dump off to the running back last week against San Francisco.

Miami Dolphins fantasy Football Week 10 projection: 14 or fewer points, 3 or more sacks, 1 or more turnovers

Other Start em D/ST units for Week 10:

• I know that Philly’s D has let you down this year, but against John Skelton and the Cardinals it could be very worthwhile to start them this week.
• The Detroit Lions get to face the porous Bears’ O-Line. Please tell me you aren’t fooled by the Eagles going sackless against them Monday night; the Bears O-Line remains not very good.

Sit Em Defense: Cincinnati Bengals (v Pittsburgh)

I just have a bad feeling that the Steelers are going to exact revenge on Cincy for Sunday night’s loss to Baltimore. I think a major part of it is that I don’t totally trust the Bengals’ D yet. They are good, but are they great?

Big Ben, Mike Wallace, and Antonio Brown can take full advantage of a good-but-not-great D, and I have a feeling that is what will happen here.

Cincinnati Bengals fantasy football Week 10 projection: 21 or more points, 2 sacks, 1 turnover

• Houston’s D has been great this year, but I just have a feeling they will underperform your expectations against a desperate Tampa Bay team in Tampa.
• Stay away from the Saints’ and Falcons’ defenses in Week 10. I would not be surprised if 70+ points are scored in that game.

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There are your start em, sit em picks for Week 10 of the fantasy football season. You know the drill from here. Read ‘em, digest ‘em, and then ask about ‘em. The comment section awaits your lineup-specific questions below.

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Without question, the story of the first half of the season (other than this) has been the ascent of the Detroit Lions.

They went 0-16 three years ago, then 2-14 in Jim Schwartz’s first year, then 6-10 last year; and now halfway through their 2011 slate Detroit, sitting at 6-2, is a bona fide contender in the NFC. And the Lions aren’t just an empty record either. They have the skill, attitude, reputation, and right now the health (knock on wood) to suggest that they aren’t going away.

So in honor of the Motor City Mufasas, and their roaring wreakers of wreckage Ndamukong Suh and Calvin Johnson, I give to you my Midseason NFL Power Rankings, with each team presented alongside a Motown classic that sums up the first half of its season.

The great Berry Gordy and Ndamukong Suh

1. Green Bay Packers (7-0) – “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder

After an uneven regular season in 2010, the Packers caught fire all the way to the Super Bowl. Along the way, Aaron Rodgers nudged his way into the Manning-Brady-Brees stratosphere of NFL quarterbacks.

Through seven games in 2011, the Packers haven’t missed a beat, and Rodgers has catapulted himself into the rarest of air: the undisputed #1 quarterback in football, and he’s on pace to complete the most efficient statistical season a quarterback has ever had.

As Stevie sings:

Lovers keep on lovin’
Believers keep on believin’
Sleepers just stop sleepin’

…

Gonna keep on tryin’
Till I reach my highest ground

Indeed, the Packers/Rodgers lovers and believers need to keep doing what they’re doing, and any remaining sleepers need to wake up to the reality that Rodgers is the best player in football.

If he hasn’t already reached the highest ground, it’s going to be amazing to see just how deadly the Packers’ offense is once he’s there.

2. San Francisco 49ers (6-1) – “Reach Out, I’ll Be There” by The Four Tops

Know this about the resurgent 49ers and their badass first year head coach Jim Harbaugh: at the end of the game, reach out and he’ll be the there…ready to shake your head after kicking your team’s butt. (Just try not to take it personally.)

And in case you needed any more reason why this is the perfect song choice for the 2011 take-no-prisoners 49ers, pay attention to the lyrics. Replace “girl” and “darling” with “Alex” (for Alex Smith), “I’ll” with “We’ll”, plus a few other subtle changes, and it might as well be a pregame Harbaugh speech to his much-maligned but improving QB.

Now if you feel that you can’t go on,
Because all of your hope is gone,
And your life is filled with much confusion,
Until happiness is just an illusion,
And your world around is crumbling down, Alex,
(Reach out) Come on Alex reach on out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
We’ll be there with a running game that will shelter you,
We’ll be there with a defense that will see you through,

See what I mean?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

I’m not sure what that was from Pittsburgh in Week 1, but it was most certainly not the real Steelers that we’ve come to know and appreciate.

Over the Steelers’ last four games though, we’ve started to see the real Steelers emerge again, just with a little more passing than running, and it’s been a good reminder that in the NFL there ain’t nothing like the real thing; and it doesn’t get much more real in professional football than the Steelers.

4. Detroit Lions (6-2) – “Just My Imagination” by The Temptations

For years, decades really, Lions fans have had to watch the success of other franchises and pretend it was their own. Losing season after losing season, all the Lions had was their imagination if they wanted to cheer for a winner.

Not anymore.

Now all Lions fans need to do is use their imaginations to conjure up a future in which Matthew Stafford plays 16 games, because if he does, this team is ready to make its long-awaited return to the postseason. And they won’t be an easy out.

5. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – “I Second That Emotion” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

After the Ravens’ offense sputtered against the Jags, Terrell Suggs publicly questioned the offensive gameplan. Surprisingly, Ravens coach John Harbaugh seconded Suggs’ emotion, agreeing that Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin needed to get the ball more.

One week later Cam Cameron and Joe Flacco got the notion, and the Ravens are back to their winning ways after Rice scored three TDs and Boldin topped 100 yards receiving.

6. New England Patriots (5-2) – “It’s The Same Old Song” by The Four Tops

An offense built around their statuesque quarterback who throws 40+ times every game, without much of a running game to speak of? Check.

A defense that gives up tons of yards, hopes to be “bend but don’t break” as a best case scenario, and is undeniably poor in the secondary and at rushing the passer? Check.

Sound familiar? That’s pretty much what the Patriots have been for the last three seasons, and for the last three seasons they’ve underwhelmed fans and pundits alike once January has rolled around. I’m struggling to find any reason to think this season will end any differently.

7. New Orleans Saints (5-3) – “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye

I don’t really feel like New Orleans deserves to be ranked this high, especially after what we witnessed from them last week and in their recent loss to Tampa Bay. Sandwiched in between those two defeats, however, was a thorough ass-kicking of the Indianapolis Colts; and anytime you beat another NFL team 62-7 it means, well, something.

The Saints still have Drew Brees, they still have weapons galore on offense, and they still have Sean Payton calling the shots. This outfit won a Super Bowl not too long ago, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt…for now. But they need to figure out what’s going on before far too many mothers, brothers, and fathers in The Bayou are left crying from another debacle like that loss to the Rams.

8. New York Giants (5-2) – “Ball of Confusion” by The Temptations

Is any good team more of a ball of confusion from year to year, week to week, and even quarter to quarter than the New York Giants? No.

Yet despite the ups and downs, here are the Giants sitting atop the NFC East with Eli Manning playing the best football of his career. Go figure.

9. Houston Texas (5-3) – “It Takes Two” by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston

The song choice for the Texans is obvious from the first two lines:

One can have a dream, baby
Two can make that dream so real

For a while now, the Texans and their fans have had dreams of going to the playoffs, but unfortunately they only had one side of the ball that functioned competently. Not anymore. Wade Phillips has taken a defense that was an embarrassment last year and made it respectable, even weathering the loss of Mario Williams.

It does indeed take two – an offense and a defense – to make playoff dreams real. Could this be the season it finally happens in Houston?

10. Buffalo Bills (5-2) – “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by The Temptations

The “papa” of these young Bills is head coach Chan Gailey, and he has indeed been a rolling stone during his coaching career. Buffalo is the 19th different coaching job Gailey has had since 1974. I know how transient of a profession coaching can be, but that is a lot of moving around.

Regardless, he has these Bills on the right track, sitting atop the AFC East.

11. New York Jets (4-3) – “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” by The Four Tops

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not sure the Jets have earned this high a spot in the rankings. They are on a two game winning streak, but beating the Dolphins and the apparently hapless Chargers isn’t all that impressive. Still, the Jets and their bombastic head coach cannot seem to help themselves: they always talk, they always struggle for parts of seasons, yet they always get it going when the weather gets cold. They’ve made two straight AFC Championship Games, so we can’t count them out yet.

(Note: there are also plenty of jokes that could be made in reference to Rex Ryan enjoying slices of sugar pie and handfuls of honey bunch, but I’ll refrain. Who do I look like…Joe Namath?)

12. Philadelphia Eagles (3-4) – “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” by Steve Wonder

I know that fans in Cincinnati and all over the AFC West and NFC South are going to be apoplectic at the under-.500 Eagles being 12th above their favorite teams, but what can I say? This team is loaded with talent, and I think they’d beat all of the teams below them (including more than a few above them) if they played right now.

So, Philly fans, what are you so uptight about? As long as you’ve got Andy Reid, everything is all right. Until the playoffs at least…

13. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) – “Shotgun” by Jr. Walker and the All Stars

I predicted that the Falcons would miss the playoffs before the season started, and I’m not backing off that prediction at all, though I have been impressed by their last two victories.

During the offseason, the Falcons tried to remake their offense from a tank into a shotgun with the hyperathletic Julio Jones added to the team at a high cost. It appeared early on that Ryan and the Falcons were trying to justify the cost while forgetting about their bread and butter: Michael Turner.

Things have changed.

Turner is back leading the offense and the Falcons are winning. The question is how long can Turner withstand another season of pounding. We’ll see.

14. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

The Bengals had to deal with QB turmoil all offseason, limped into the regular season with rookies leading them at QB and WR, have had to deal with Cedric Benson’s continued legal troubles, and they lost corner Jonathan Joseph in the offseason. Also, certain Midwestern sports bloggers predicted the Bengals would finish with the worst record in the league. Yet all Marvin Lewis and the Bengals have shown is that there ain’t no football mountain high enough to keep this underrated team down this season.

At least so far.

Cincy’s wins are against Cleveland, Jacksonville, Buffalo, Seattle, and Indianapolis, and they still have four games coming up against Pittsburgh and Baltimore. This is why I’m not sold on the Bengals and have them at 14th. But if they can keep climbing mountains, this could be the most unlikely playoff team of 2011.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) – “Since I Lost My Baby” by The Temptations

The Chiefs have reeled off four straight wins since I ranked them #1 in my inaugural Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, a winning streak that has moved them all the way into a first place tie in the AFC West. This has Chiefs fans seeing sun shining (yes, plenty of light), a new day dawning (so sunny and bright), and even birds signing and children playing.

But the reality is that without young stars Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki, all of whom the Chiefs lost early in the year to season-ending injuries, the Chiefs’ chances of going any further than they did last year – a first round playoff blowout – are slim to none.

16. San Diego Chargers (4-3) – “Hello” by Lionel Richie

It’s fitting that the Chargers are one spot behind the Chiefs, because they were one successful QB-center exchange away from beating them last night.

If I had time, I would create a YouTube video with the ball Rivers’ fumbled away singing this Lionel Richie ballad to him. It’s the kind of thing the Internet was invented for. Can’t you just see the ball rolling around on the ground plaintively singing these words to Rivers while the QB laments his “worst day ever“:

Hello!
Is it me you’re looking for?
’cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

17. Oakland Raiders (4-3) – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations

The Raiders are a hard team to figure out right now since we have no idea a) what they will get from Carson Palmer and b) if their offensive workhorse Darren McFadden can stay healthy enough all year to keep the pressure off of Palmer.

But we do know one thing: the Raiders were not begging nor pleading for anyone’s sympathy once Jason Campbell went down. They slept on Mike Brown’s doorstep and even let everyone laugh, because they wanted Carson Palmer any way they could get him. Now they have him, and we’ll see if they can just keep winning, baby.

18. Dallas Cowboys (3-4) – “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

Did the Cowboys even have a Week 8 game? They did? Really? Because the only time I saw a Cowboy show up last week is Tony Romo when he announced that he and his new wife are expecting.

So since I have nothing constructive to say about Dallas’ no show on Sunday night, let’s honor the soon-to-be parents. Take it away Marvin.

19. Chicago Bears (4-3) – “You Keep Me Hanging On” by The Supremes

I tend not to trust teams that have severe offensive line issues, which is why the Bears fall towards the back of the teams bunched at 3-4 wins.

I also wouldn’t trust the Bears if I were Matt Forte, who I think is much closer to Adrian Peterson than Chris Johnson in terms of being deserving of a new contract. Can anyone blame Forte for feeling like the Bears are just keeping him hanging on? I mean really Jerry Angelo. If you’re not going to #paytheman, set him free why don’t ya?

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3) – “Brick House” by The Commodores

Tampa Bay was another supposedly up-and-coming team that I didn’t trust heading into the season. They’ve scratched together four wins, but they have looked pretty bad along the way at times.

So in honor of the bricks they’ve thrown up against San Francisco and the first half of the Chicago game in London, not to mention Josh Freeman’s 10 interceptions, here are The Commodores singing about bricks in a much different context.

21. Minnesota Vikings (2-6) – “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie

You know that Adrian Peterson is called “AD” because he can run all day long. Now that Minnesota has handed the reins of its offense over to rookie Christian Ponder, Peterson may have to run all day and all night long to help ease the rook’s transition.

Peterson is more than capable, and the Vikings – who have played better than their record – are more than capable of winning 4-5 of their remaining games if Ponder can just provide adequate play under center.

22. St. Louis Rams (1-6) – “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

No, I’m not insane. I’m well aware that before last weekend’s trouncing of the Saints, the Rams hadn’t beaten anyone and hadn’t even really come close. Just consider me to be buying low on the Rams, and when they finish with 5-6 wins, remember that you heard it here first.

You can’t hurry a connection between a new offensive coordinator, an offensive line, and a young QB, but Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get everyone on the same page. Having Brandon Lloyd will help, and having a leader like Steven Jackson to make sure no one mails it in will also keep these Rams on a forward trajectory all season.

23. Carolina Panthers (2-6) – “ABC” by The Jackson 5

Am I drinking the Cam Newton Kool-Aid after 8 games? You’re dadgum right I am, so much so that I came up with 20 teams who, hypothetically speaking of course, should trade their QB for right now for Newton.

I did not think Newton would have an easy transition to the NFL, but he’s made playing quarterback look as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What he has not found so easy to do yet is win, but that will come. He needs more experience and a better team around him, but the Panthers are a team on the rise that no one will want to face in the second half of the season.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-3) – “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder

In case you were wondering, no, I’m not sold on the Titans.

A win over the Colts does not impress me, nor did the Titans’ previous two non-competitive games against Pittsburgh and Houston. This team was looking good when Kenny Britt was around and emerging as a top receiver, but they seem lost without him.

But hey, at least Chris Johnson is signed, sealed, delivered, and yours, right Tennessee? Or not…

25. Cleveland Browns (3-4) – “Money (That’s What I Want)” by Barrett Strong

In case you hadn’t heard, money is what Peyton Hillis wants. He is not, however, willing to play through strep throat or maintain community commitments in his quest to leverage one partial good season into, apparently, $10 million per yer.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on the guy. If I were a running back for the Browns, against whom defenses can load up eight men in the box on every play, I might not be so motivated to play either.

26. Washington Redskins (3-4) – “Mercy, Mercy Me” by Marvin Gaye

When your only quarterback choices are Rex Grossman or John Beck, how can Redskins fans or even Mike Shanahan himself say anything other than mercy, mercy me?

The Redskins got off to a fast start this season, but things ain’t what they used to be. With such putrid play under center and so many injuries on offense, a turnaround doesn’t appear to be coming. Redskins fans will just have to keep wondering where did all the blue skies go?

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) – “Shop Around” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

So the Jaguars beat a disinterested Baltimore team in a defensive slopfest a few weeks back. So what?

This team is still going nowhere fast, and even the one positive Jags fans might have been able to take from this season – that the team had finally found a franchise QB – doesn’t seem to be coming to fruition. Based on what I’ve seen from Blaine Gabbert so far this year, I’d say to the Jags that they’d better shop around.

28. Seattle Seahawks (2-5) – “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5

In Pete Carroll’s first season, the Seahawks made an improbable run to the second round of the NFC Playoffs thanks to playing the in the terrible NFC West. No one in the NFC West seemingly did much to improve themselves in the offseason (who saw the 49ers run coming?), so what does Seattle do to keep the forward momentum going? They get rid of Matt Hasselbeck to turn their most important position on the field over to Charvaris Jackhurst.

Think they might want Hasselbeck and his 89.2 QB rating back now?

29. Arizona Cardinals (1-6) – “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” by Jimmy Ruffin

In Super Bowl 43, the Arizona Cardinals indeed became the brokenhearted when Ben Roethlisberger’s pass connected with Santonio Holmes in the corner of the end zone. So what becomes of the brokenhearted in football, who had a good QB who’s now departed? Everything goes to hell and a handbasket, apparently.

After your borderline Hall of Fame quarterback retires and you suffer through an awful season with basically no QB, you know you’ve got to find some kind of peace of mind for your All-World wide receiver. So you overpay for a guy who hasn’t proven he can be a competent starter, he doesn’t get any better, and all the while your defense gets worse and worse.

So, again, what becomes of the brokenhearted? In the case of Cardinals fans, you just go back to how things were before.

30. Denver Broncos (2-5) – “Dancing In The Streets” by Martha and the Vandellas

No matter what happens at the end of the Tim Tebow experience, they’ll be dancing in Dennnnnnver…and there will still surely be opinions everywhere.

Either fans of Tim Tebow will be dancing because he’s proven his worth as a starting QB in the NFL, or the Johns Fox and Elway will be dancing because they can jettison Tebow and get a QB who fits their ideal.

But either way, dancing.

31. Miami Dolphins (0-7) – “Stop! In The Name Of Luck!” by The Supremes

Do you see what I did with the title there?

This is what every Dolphins fan is imploring their team to do every time they have a promising drive or a second half lead. So far, the Dolphins have proven to be epic failures in the 4th quarters of games, which may just be the best thing for the franchise’s future.

Though the players and coaches don’t want to hear it, nor should they, Dolfans and owner Stephen Ross would like the team to stop coming so damn close to winning, and they certainly would like the Colts to stop losing…all in the name of Luck.

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-8) – “Where Did Our Love Go?” by The Supremes

Yep, two straight songs by The Supremes to end it. And why not? At this point I’m not convinced that on the football field Diana Ross and The Supremes would do any worse that Curtis Painter and The Colts or Matt Moore and the Dolphins.

So many lyrics snippets from this song could very well be things that Colts players have uttered verbatim during one of their eight horrific losses this season, with the their plaintive utterances directed at either Peyton Manning or their fans, who abandon them more and more with each demoralizing loss.

Baby, baby
Baby don’t leave me
Ooh, please don’t leave me
All by myself

…

Now that I surrender
So helplessly

…

Where did our love go
And all your promisses
Of a love forever more

You get the idea.

But if all Colts fans have to endure in between decades of success with franchise QBs is one terrible season, I and many others will resent them more than we already do.

###

There are my rankings, and each team’s corresponding Motown classic.

As always, I encourage your agreement, disagreement, and constructive criticisms below, both for the rankings and the song choices.

And now, because it’s one of my all-time favorite Motown songs but I couldn’t find a great team to assign it too, I’ll send you off into the comment section with one more classic tune from the great Marvin Gaye.

Before we count down the NFL’s suckiest, let’s get our weekly reminder of what the contestants are playing for.

Before this past Saturday, we already knew that Andrew Luck can throw, that he can run, that he can tackle, that he can catch, and that he can design tall buildings (while probably being able to leap over them too), but now we also know that he can respond to adversity and be clutch when he needs to be.

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superluck! (Photo credit: AP/Jae C. Hong via ESPN.com)

The undefeated and highly ranked Stanford Cardinal faced their first real test of the season on Saturday against Matt Barkley, Layla Kiffin, and the USC Trojans. Luck and the Cardinal were able to overcome a late interception by The Chosen One to force overtime, where they ultimately won 56-48 after three extra frames.

Luck’s numbers were predictably sterling. He was 29-40 for 330 yards, 3 TDs, and that one interception. Yet, because Andrew Luck excretes lilies and daffodils and toots potpourri, even that pick is being turned into a positive. It’s almost as if Luck threw the pick-6 (which put USC up 7 with three minutes play) just to challenge himself and show us all that not only can he dominate people but he can vanquish adversity too.

Either way, everyone who was bowing at the alter of Luck before Saturday (which is everyone) is doing so with even more vigor now.

The question is, after another Sunday of NFL action, which “professional” football teams are putting themselves in the best position to draft Luck and guarantee themselves at least 8 out of the next 10 Super Bowls?

As we do every week, we’ll break it down for you right here in the Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings.

 NFL “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings for Week 9

1. Miami Dolphins (0-7)

The Dolphins did it again. They played a halfway decent game, were competitive against a good team, and still found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Quarterback Matt Mooreino turned in the best passing day by a Dolphins QB since Week 1: 13-22, 138 yards, 0 TDs, and a 1 INT. He also ran the ball five times for 31 yards, equaling the career rushing output of Dan Marino. The ‘Fins even got 120 total yards from Reggie Bush (including 103 on the ground!) as the full-time Pizza Hut pitchman and part-time running back used rumors of a Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries break up to motivate himself into the best game he’s played since stonewalling NCAA investigators.

But, as usual for these Dolphins, it was all for naught. The Giants won 20-17, outscoring Miami 10-0 in the decisive 4th quarter, dropping the Dolphins to 0-7.

I continue to keep Miami in the top spot because of the fact that luck seems to be so much on their side in their quest for the #1 pick. They continue to be in ball games yet somehow lose/win. It’s very curious. It’s almost as if they are a team of destiny. Much like the St. Louis Cardinals just couldn’t seem to lose after late August, the Dolphins cannot seem to “lose” either.

2. Indianapolis Colts (0-8)

I suppose the Colts really could be considered 1a. In fact, objectively, they probably should be #1 were it not for my own wishful thinking. Indianapolis already has one more loss than the Dolphins, plus they are by far a worse team. Indy’s point differential is -131, and they are the only team other than St. Louis to have a differential of 100 or more. Miami’s is just -59.

On the bright side for the Colts, they may finally have found the heir apparent to Marshall Faulk and Edgerrin James. Curtis “Thor” Painter rumbled for an 11.3 yard per carry average on seven rushing attempts against Tennessee on Sunday. So if they do end up with Andrew Luck, it will surely help the rookie’s transition to have Painter behind him ready to ground and pound.

Also in the Colts’ favor is the continued presence of Jim Caldwell. Maybe it’s time we stop criticizing Tony Dungy for hand-picking a cardboard cutout of himself to be the Colts coach. Dungy knew in 2009 when he tabbed Caldwell to be the coach that the Manning Era would have to end at some point. That clearly has to be why he nominated Caldwell and his 26-63 career head coaching record (all compiled at Wake Forest) to be the man. Now three years later, everything Dungy did to build the Colts up has come crashing down. Oh sure, blame it all on Peyton’s injury. But as I presciently did last season, I blame Caldwell.

Clearly these are the two favorites to suck enough for Luck. As we did last week, I’ll put it to a vote and let you decide who has the leg up.

Last week, the Dolphins narrowly edged the Colts 49%-47% in the voting, with St. Louis siphoning off the other 4%. Now that the Rams have eliminated themselves by trading for a #1 WR and stomping the Saints, who is #1?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

3. Denver Broncos (2-5)

Tim Tebow is struggling so mightily, with a gameplan so clearly not tailored to his strengths, that national writers are penning articles like this one, accusing John Fox of sabotaging his QB. What else really needs to be said about the situation in Denver right now?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: John Elway would loooooove to get his hands on Andrew Luck. Not only is Luck perhaps the greatest college QB prospect since Elway himself, he’s a fellow Stanford Cardinal who has all the skills to excel in a pro style offense. Though I doubt he’s a Satan worshiper, and he may well win a Heisman and perhaps a national title, Luck is otherwise the exact opposite of Tebow. And as much as I like Tebow and want to him succeed, it’s not going to happen in Denver. That’s obvious.

However, whether the Broncos stick with Tebow, or let Brady Quinn prance around and overthrow open receivers, or turn back to Kyle Orton, they are not going to be winning many games. They may have already won too many to have a prayer of competing with the Dolphins and Colts, but damn it if they won’t try from here on out.

4. Arizona Cardinals (1-6)

The Cardinals are now tied with the surging Rams for last place in the NFC West, a full five games behind the 49ers with not even half the season over. That is remarkable. What is also remarkable is how much Kevin Kolb continues to suck and how badly Arizona defends the pass. If either were not true, they would have been able to beat the Ravens on Sunday.

Alas, it keeps getting worse for the Cardinals, now losers of six straight, with little reason for hope on the horizon.

5. Washington Redskins (3-4)

Yep, I’m putting Washington above a handful teams with 1 and 2 losses. Why? Because John Beck and Rex Grossman, that’s why.

Washington tricked everyone into thinking that they were a different team this year when they started 3-1. Nope. They’re the same crappy team with the same crappy QB play and same creepy-looking coach.

Image source: UnathleticMag

Remember, I’m trying to project forward here, and after getting shutout by the Bills, and with so many injuries stacking up, and with one of the few owners who might actually be clueless enough to order a “Suck 4 Luck” strategy, the Redskins have plenty of time and potential to make up their loss deficit before the season ends.

6. Seattle Seahawks (2-5)

It’s good to be the San Francisco 49ers. Half of their division is in the top 6 in the Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, and the team not yet listed is already buried five games below in the standings.

As for Seattle, they just let Cincinnati completely obliterate the supposed Qwest Field advantage. A rookie QB and a rookie WR, playing without their workhorse running back, strode into Seattle, kicked the Seahawks asses all over the field, and left the Seahawks with a 2-5 record and one of the league’s worst point differentials.

But hey, on the bright side, even though the Seahawks have probably won too much to get Luck, they might be in a good position to grab Matt Barkley. In all seriousness, he won’t be a bad consolation prize for whoever doesn’t quite suck enough.

7. Cleveland Browns (3-4)

Yep, another 3-4 team gets listed before a bunch of teams with fewer wins. But forgive me for not being impressed by victories over the Colts, Dolphins, and Seahawks. Yes, those are the three teams Cleveland has beaten, so you tell me why they should be ranked ahead of a team like St. Louis, which can beat New Orleans, or Carolina, which actually has an offense that can score points.

Cleveland is almost completely devoid of difference-makers on the offensive side of the ball. San Francisco exposed that again yesterday. And with the schedule about to get much, much tougher (at Houston, @ Cincinnati, two games v Baltimore and Pittsburgh), I’m having a hard time seeing where the wins are going to come from outside of games against St. Louis, Arizona, and Jacksonville.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6)

Speaking of Jacksonville, the Jaguars come in at #8 this week. Admittedly, you could make a case for the Jags to be as high as 5th on this list, but I guess I feel bad for assuming they’d lose last Monday night. Plus, the Jags still have two games left against Indianapolis and one against Cleveland, which should guarantee them at least two more wins.

9. St. Louis Rams (1-6)

I have been very hesitant to bury this team because of my belief in Sam Bradford and my thinking that by the time Bradford and Josh McDaniels get on the same page the Rams’ schedule will ease up and give them the opportunity to get some wins. I didn’t expect a victory over New Orleans, but this does show what the Rams are capable of doing.

With Brandon Lloyd now giving whoever plays QB a legitimate #1 option, and Steven Jackson playing like a man possessed, it would not surprise me at all to see the Rams parlay future games against Arizona, Cleveland, Seattle, Arizona again, and Seattle again into at least 3-4 more victories. If they can steal one against San Francisco in Week 17 (with the 49ers likely to have a playoff spot locked up), this could be a 6 or 7 win team by the time it’s all said and done.

10. Dallas Cowboys (3-4)

I could have, and perhaps should have, chosen the Panthers or Vikings for this spot. But based on what I saw yesterday, the Panthers and the Vikings would both have demolished Dallas. Did the Cowboys even show up in Philadelphia Sunday night? It sure didn’t look like it. And though it’s easy to say that Dallas could be 5-2 or 6-1 right now, they could also be 1-6 or 2-5 if the balls didn’t bounce their way against San Francisco and Washington.

Seriously, the Dallas Cowboys football team is a football team that needs to play football much better than they have been playing football in football games during this football season football football football.

Image source: Popfi.com

No really. It’s time for Tony Romo, Rob Ryan, and the Cowboys to put up or shut up, but they’ll probably just keep playing like the middle-of-the-pack team that they are and finish 8-8. Either way, it’s now legitimate to start wondering if the Panthers and Vikings are more settled at QB than the Cowboys. I’ve long been a Tony Romo supporter, but even I’m starting to lose the faith that he’ll ever become anything more than what he is: good, but nowhere near great.

Honorable mention: Carolina (2-6), Minnesota (2-6), Kansas City Chiefs (3-3), New Orleans (5-3)…just for this week.

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Okay folks, now it’s your chance to agree with me, ream me, or just tell me how ridiculous of a post idea this is and how it sullies the integrity of the game. All’s fair in love and comment sections. Have at it.

Albert Pujols did something with a stick of wood that no other man in the history of baseball has done. Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints put on one of the most impressive offensive clinics in the history of football. Aaron Rodgers was so spectacular yet again that his supreme excellence is starting to be taken for granted. I could go on and on.

These were individual feats though, which occurred in games that ended predictably. Two games however, did not end predictably, and in fact ended in the most unlikely ways possible. In this post, I’ll quickly break down each and we’ll vote to see which incredible sports feat was more unlikely.

Michigan State’s Hail Mary Win over Wisconsin

Hail Mary victories are among the most unlikely outcomes in sports. First off, specific circumstances must be in place: a team must be have the ball with 6 or fewer seconds, be down by 7 points or less, and have the ball between the 40s. Then secondly, they must complete a pass into a crowded end zone that everyone knows is coming when all the defense has to do is bat the ball down.

In college football history, the two most famous Hail Mary victories were tossed by Doug Flutie and Kordell Stewart. Now it’s time to add another name to that list: Kirk Cousins.

Here is the play heard ’round the world this past Saturday night:

The amount of unlikely elements that coalesced to make this play possible are stunning.

• The specific set of circumstances above.
• Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema calling timeout during Michigan State’s drive. He’d hoped to stop the Spartans and get the ball back, but his decision ended up giving them the time they needed to complete the Hail Mary.
• Jared Abbrederis, a superb athlete, badly mistiming his jump, thus allowing the ball to get into the end zone.
• The ball ricocheting perfectly out of the end zone right into the hands of Keith Nichol.
• Nichol, despite extreme effort from the Wisconsin defenders, being able to ever-so-slightly break the plane of the goalline with the ball.
• The call on the field was initially that he did not catch the ball, meaning that clear evidence would have to be seen to overturn the call. (Note: thanks to the commenter who pointed out my initial brain fart in getting this in reverse.)
• Replay officials finding clear evidence to overturn. Call stands, Michigan State wins.

Any way you slice it, this was one of the most unlikely and exciting finishes to a college football game in some time, especially since Michigan State had to beat the 6th ranked team in the country, which had looked like a juggernaut coming into this game. Because of the amazing final play and the stakes, this will surely go down as one of the defining plays in college football this season.

But was it the most unlikely sport feat of the weekend? Tim Tebow and the Broncos might have something to say about that…

Tim Tebow’s Immaculate Deception

In cast you haven’t heart, Tim Tebow led the Denver Broncos to a thrilling 4th quarter comeback over the Miami Dolphins yesterday afternoon. As I noted in this week’s Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, it was the first time a team has come back from 15 points down with less than three minutes to play in the 4th quarter to win.

Here are two of the key plays, which tied the game up at the end of regulation:

It truly was a remarkable game in every way, including the aftermath, because it’s the most Tim Tebow game ever. Tebow was beyond atrocious for 55 minutes on Sunday, so much so that you almost felt embarrassed for him; but then, as Tebow is wont to do, he somehow found a way to make the necessary plays with the opportunities given to him to rally the Broncos to a victory.

And this is where the name “Immaculate Deception” comes from. (Because every cool NFL feat that can be described as Immaculate Something Rhyming With Conception must be!)

Tebow supporters will be deceived by the final five minutes of the game into believing that he’ll definitely succeed in the NFL. Tebow detractors, on the other hand, will be deceived by the first first 55 minutes of the game into believing that he definitely cannot succeed. It truly is amazing how Tebow could prove both sides of an argument “right” in one game; except that he didn’t.

Tebow simply proved that, as with most things, the truth is somewhere in the middle. The truth is that Tebow has severe shortcomings as a passer that will limit any offense he is on, but his belief in himself, athleticism, and ability to come through in clutch situations means that he has a chance to be a winning QB if he has a coach who believes in him and a gameplan/roster tailored to his strengths.

We don’t know a damn thing more about Tebow now than we knew before yesterday.

But here is what we do know: a crazy confluence of events had to take place for Tebow and the Broncos to pull off that win:

• Tony Sparano’s idiotic call to go for two early in the fourth quarter. If Miami kicks the extra point, Denver’s 15 points lose by one.
• Tebow, who had made terrible passes all day long, threw a beautiful pass down the middle of the field that his receiver made a spectacular catch on.
• Demaryius Thomas had to make a very athletic, but questionable, grab on the first touchdown pass. The official then had to call it a TD on the field (the right call it looked like to me) and the replay booth had to confirm this call.
• Denver then had to recover an onside kick, which is unlikely as it is, but especially unlikely when a Dolphins player appears to have it easily at first before getting hit and dropping it.
• Tebow and the previously moribund Denver offense then had to march down the field again, which they did, ultimately scoring a TD, after which they had to score on a two-point conversation when everyone knew what play was coming.
• The Broncos had to withstand the Dolphins doing nothing on their first possession in sudden death overtime
• After getting a trip sack fumble on the Dolphins’ next possession, the Broncos simply ran three times to set up Matt Prater for a game-winning 50+ yard field goal on the same day when he’d missed two kicks previously. Of course, he made it.

And then, after the most unpredictable of finishes, the most predictable of postgame outcomes ensued: Tebow Mania, all night, all day today, and likely for this entire week and beyond.

Now that you’ve seen these two feats broken down into the series of unlikely elements that made them possible, it’s your turn to decide: which was more unlikely?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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And speaking of that Cable Guy-euphemism…how did the object of everyone’s suckaffection do this week? Eh, so so.

Andrew Luck’s 4th-ranked Stanford Cardinal eeked out a 65-21 victory over then-25th ranked Washington. Luck was a Krenzelesque 16-21 for 169 yards and two TDs. Obviously the yardage and TD totals are thoroughly disappointing, but at least he improved his shaky 70+ completion percentage to a now-respectable 71.8%.

The real star of the game was the Cardinal rushing attack, which featured three players who ran for at least 93 yards. Hey, maybe whoever gets picks two and three in this year’s draft should take a look at Stephan Taylor, Tyler Gaffney, and/or Anthony Wilkerson to shore up their running game…(or not, since taking running backs not named Adrian Peterson early in drafts is dumb, dumb, dumb).

Now that we’ve reviewed the stakes, let’s take our weekly look at how the suckiest of the sucky stack up in the race to suck to the lucky bottom* of this year’s NFL standings.

* – assuming, of course, that the junior Luck actually turns pro. That’s right, he’s still only a junior. Didn’t you know? Wouldn’t it just be so knee-slapping funny if he didn’t after all the commotion about him this season.

Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings: Week 8

1. Miami Dolphins (0-6)

This is not to take anything away from the impressive case that Indianapolis made last night for the #1 spot in these prestigious rankings, but sometimes margin of defeat and margin of suck are not directly correlated.

Unlike many teams that are winless this far into the season, the Dolphins have actually, legitimately outplayed most of their opponents for the majority of their games. If you’ve spent any time watching this team, you know that this amazing statement is true. To continue losing while outplaying teams, in some respects, is more pathetic than just straight up sucking…like the Rams. (More on that steaming batch of suck in a minute.)

Yesterday, the Dolphins became the first team since the merger to lose a game in which they were up by 15 or more points with three minutes or less to play in regulation. And they lost to a team that was being led by some of the worst quarterback play I’ve ever seen. I’m on record as liking and supporting Tim Tebow’s NFL chances, but there is no other way to describe his play through 55 minutes yesterday than the following sentence. Up until Denver’s improbable comeback, I could have dropped a deuce in a brown paper sack, lit it on fire, and set it on someone’s porch, and bystanders (even the owner of the house on whose porch the turd sack was flaming) would have had a hard time deciphering whether that or Tebow was better suited to play QB in the NFL.

Between allowing Tebow to be Good Tebow during those final five minutes, and not recovering an inside kick that was in their hands, and the awful call by Tony Sparano to go for two, and the oh-so-appropriate shots of Stephen Ross chatting up Urban Meyer during the 4th quarter…the smog of suck that engulfed Miami yesterday simply cannot be topped, even though Drew Brees just now threw another TD pass against the Colts.

Speaking of…

2. Indianapolis Colts (0-7)

Congratulations to the Colts, the first team to seven losses in 2011! Round of applause everybody!

Colts fans looking for solace after the Sunday night drubbing in New Orleans (62-7…’nuff said) need to look no further than Jim Caldwell’s post game comments (via PFT).

“I have to take responsibility for our team and the way that they played. We just didn’t play well,” Caldwell said. “I think the guys fought. We didn’t execute well, but I think the effort was good.”

A team loses by 55 points, and the head coach takes responsibility? What a shocking and rare display of leadership by the catatonic Caldwell. That’ll turn some shiz some around!

To celebrate, here is an animated GIF of Caldwell taking responsibility:

Image source: The Scores Report

And be heartened Colts fans: the men who get paid millions to play a game “fought” and “the effort was good.” Whew. Good to know. Both are unexpected positives to take away from last night’s Mardi Gross celebration on Colts Fans Need Borboun Street.

Still, at least the Colts got bludgeoned by a good team. And at least their fans knew it was over within five minutes, rather than the Dolphins, who tricked their fans into thinking they’d get a win against a bad team until five minutes were left in the game.

3. St. Louis Rams (0-6)

The Rams got manhandled by the Cowboys. There is not other way to describe it.

Dallas’ offense had been having trouble running in place this season, let alone forward for positive yardage. Yet, somehow, with backup running rookie DeMarco Murray filling in for the injured Felix Jones, and a bevy of offensive line issues, the Cowboys rushed for damn near 300 yards en route to a 34-7 bitch slap of Steve Spagnuolo’s crew.

I’m not going to come down as hard on the Rams as I am on the Dolphins or Colts though. The Rams will actually be getting their starting QB back soon, plus they were probably still dizzy on Sunday morning from watching Albert Pujols hit homer after homer Saturday night at The Ballpark in Arlington. And the addition of Brandon Lloyd should improve their offense moving forward.

With these teams clearly at the head of the bottom of the class, it’s your turn to tell us who you think is #1:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

4. No one

I’m skipping #4, because truly no other NFL team deserves to within a spot of the three teams I’ve already broken down. They are more than just a combined 0-19. They are making it almost a compliment to describe what they are doing as “suck”. We may need a new word for these power rankings, even if it doesn’t rhyme with Luck. Any suggestions?

5. Arizona Cardinals (1-5)

The Cardinals really aren’t that far behind the trisuckverate listed above. If it weren’t for their close Week 1 victory in Cam Newton’s first start, Arizona would be winless and already dreaming of a life that doesn’t so closely resemble Kolb. But they do have some games left against Seattle and St. Louis, so that should net them a victory or two, even if Chris “Porcelain” Wells is injured and can’t play.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6) (actually 2-5)

Jacksonville and Baltimore play tonight, so technically the Jags’ record after seven games could be 2-5, but I’m confidently chalking the L up for the Jags. Do you trust Blaine Gabbert against Ray Lewis and the Ravens’ defense? Neither do I. The Jags D will likely put up a valiant effort and frustrate Flacco and Co., but it won’t be enough to compensate for the negative points sure to be put up by the offense. Poor Maurice Jones-Drew.

Update: Oops. I had this one wrong. Way to completely lay an egg on national TV Baltimore. And Jacksonville, well to come and play. I’ll humbly accept any and all disparagement that Jags fans want to hurl my way in the comment section.

Oh, and for the record, yes: both the Cards and Jags, despite acquiring “franchise” QBs this past offseason, would draft Andrew Luck. In a heartbeat.

7. Denver Broncos (2-4)

A miracle win over the Miami Dolphins does not impress me. And though I still think that Tebow has a future in the NFL (even if that future may be best served with him being a backup QB…a role which I think he could excel in..but that’s a post for another day), I don’t think it will be in Denver. In fact, according to my sources, oil and water were seen snickering at how poor a mix Tebow and John Fox are.

Broncos fans and Tebow sycophants everywhere need to enjoy what they saw last week and not let it lull them into a false sense of confidence. For myriad reasons, that win simply will not/cannot be duplicated. So unless Tebow makes vast improvements from the pocket, or the Broncos actually do more things during the first 55 minutes of games to play to his strengths, Denver could still be in the running for Luck if the teams above them stumble and bumble their way to a couple of victories.

8 & 9. Seattle Seahawks (2-4) and Cleveland Browns (3-3)

It’s a damn shame anyone had to win this game yesterday, because neither team deserved to. When reached for comment, Lloyd Christmas had this to say:

With as many unilateral decisions as Roger Goodell makes, why can’t he institute a rule that if two teams play as badly as Seattle and Cleveland did yesterday, that the game be declared a double loss? We’d all be better off.

10. Tennessee Titans (3-3)

You may be wondering why Tennessee and its three victories, as well as Cleveland and its three victories, are in the top ten when Minnesota (1-6), Carolina (2-5), and Philadelphia (2-4), among others, are not. Simply put: I have more confidence in those teams to finish with a better record than I do Cleveland or Tennessee based on current trends.

Tennessee was beyond suck yesterday, and the talk has already turned to letting Jake Locker take over, who I think is even less prepared to lead an NFL team than Blaine Gabbert. Just watch: unless Chris Johnson gets up from laying on his pile of money long enough to actually be a competent NFL running back again, the Titans will make a slow, steady climb up these rankings.

Too bad for the Titans they won those games early in the season, as there is no way anyone with more than two wins at season’s end will have a chance at Luck.

Special mention: Kansas City Chiefs (3-3)

The Kansas City Chiefs opened up these Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings at #1, and have made a steady descent to respectability since then. I have to give kudos where kudos are deserved, and Todd Haley, Matt Cassel, and crew deserve major kudos for digging themselves out of an 0-3 hole, despite debilitating injuries. They are now right in the think of the AFC West race.

Let this be a lesson to the Sergeants of Suck disparaged in this post. You’re only a few wins away from having no chance at the most universally respected QB prospect since John Elway.

So keep on sucking. The future of your franchises depends on it.

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What do you think? Which rankings do you agree/disagree with? Who I was too hard/easy on? The comment section patiently awaits your sucky comments.

* – Tony Sparano photo credit: NewHaven.edu