Video: Matt Millen made the most Matt Millen comment ever

August 31, 2011 By Leave a Comment
matt-millen

The Detroit Lions are getting a lot of love this preseason (even from me) and with good reason. Since the 0-16 debacle, the franchise has steadily improved to the point of seeming to be on the cusp of playoff-readiness if they can just get a healthy season out of their franchise quarterback.

Before the Autumn of Lions Love truly gets rolling though, let’s get a quick reminder of why the franchise fell to such horrific depths in the first place.

Two names, one incompetent NFL executive: Matt. Millen.

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Filed Under: Funny, NFL Tagged With: detroit lions, matt millen

A reasoned plea to athletes and other public figures: stop your egregious, persistent misuse of the phrase “I am humbled”

January 27, 2011 By 6 Comments
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Before I get into the meat of this post, I just want to say that I am humbled, truly humbled, you have chosen to visit our little corner of the sports blogosphere to read what I have to say.

Or am I?

Well, if I were to use the phrase “I am humbled” like we hear so many athletes and public figures use it, then yes, I suppose I am actually humbled that by virtue of you reading these words you are giving me the very real gift of your time and the honor of your attention.

But – and forgive me for being blunt here, because I am thisclose to exploding in petpeeved annoyance – how in the hell is that actually humbling?

The reality is that it’s not. Your presence here is not humbling. The fact that you – a reader I respect and try to entertain and inform every day – are reading these words that I have written fills me with more pride than I can put into words. And the last time I checked – ten seconds ago – pride is an antonym of humility.

So what gives? Am I humbled by your presence or prideful about your presence? Am I both? Neither? One thing is for sure: don’t look to athletes for guidance on this one.

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Filed Under: Random Thoughts Tagged With: humbled, james blackmon, lebron james, matt millen, michael vick, writing

Photo Story: The Genius of Matt Millen

November 27, 2010 By 1 Comment
matt-millen

I am watching the Ohio State-Michigan game as I watch this, and the Buckeyes currently lead 24-7 over the beleaguered Wolverines. Granted, after yesterday’s craziness, an early 24-7 lead is meaningless (right Alabama?), but I think the safe bet would be Ohio State holding on and beating Rich Rodriguez for the third straight year.

With the first half about to end, there are two questions that must be asked. First, will this game mark the waning days of the RichRod era in Ann Arbor? Second, why in the hell is Matt Millen announcing this game, and why does it seem like he announces damn near every football game on TV?

The answer to the first question will not be known until at least after the Wolverines’ bowl game this year. The answer to the second question, however, is obvious: because Matt Millen’s a genius, that’s why. An example of this genius is depicted below.

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Filed Under: CFB, Funny, Photo Story Tagged With: abc, matt millen, Michigan Wolverines, michigan-ohio state, ohio state buckeyes

Matt Millen and The Worst “Apology” of All Time

April 26, 2010 By 2 Comments
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In case you missed it this weekend, Matt Millen used the NFL Draft to remind everyone why 99.9% of the NFL fan population thinks he is an idiot.

For background on Millen’s joke and subsequent apology, the guys at Detroit 4 Lyfe have the details.

To see Millen’s apology, which has to be one of the least sincere, my-employer-is-making-me-do-this, non-apology-apologies that I’ve ever seen, just click play and try not to snicker:

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Filed Under: Funny, NFL Tagged With: 2010 nfl draft, apology, detroit lions, matt millen

Detroit Lions: Matt Millen Fired

September 24, 2008 By 1 Comment
detroit-lions

detroit lionsby Jerod Morris

I was just making my daily perusal of Deadspin.com and our good friends over there have a story about Matt Millen being fired late last night. All I can say is that it’s about time.

Just this season he has seen his team go 0-3 and deal with TatumBellgate, the crazy story in which Tatum Bell apparently stole Rudi Johnson’s bags while the latter was having a meeting Matt Millen.

The only real surprise here is that it has taken Matt Millen so long to get the ax. The Lions have been pathetic for years, and rumors of Millen’s imminent demise have been pretty commonplace for the past four or five years. Yet, because of his close relationship with the Ford family he has been able to keep his job despite the consistently horrid performance of his teams. It looked like the Lions might be turning a corner last year when they were 6-2, but to the dismay of Lions Nation the team fell flat on his face.

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Filed Under: NFL Tagged With: detroit lions, jon kitna, matt millen, NFL

Detroit Lions: Tatum Bell Steals Bags of Rudi Johnson

September 2, 2008 By 3 Comments
1033detroit-lions-joey-harrington-posters

(Author’s Note: The picture of Joey Harrington to the right has absolutely nothing to do with this story, other than the fact that the silky fingered pianist and purported quarterback once donned the silver and blue. However, it is hilarious, and this story concerns the Lions, so there it is.)

Anyway, I just read a pretty crazy and ridiculous story over at ProFootballTalk.com. Apparently, while Rudi Johnson was meeting with Matt Millen in Detroit to finalize his new contract, Johnson’s bags were stolen. The culprit? None other than Tatum Bell, the man whom Johnson will be replacing on the depth chart.

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Filed Under: NFL Tagged With: detroit lions, joey harrington, losers, matt millen, rudi johnson, tatum bell