It boils down to this:

Some smart NFL franchise that values winning and player development should hire Marty Schottenheimer, who is one of the most underrated coaches, in any sport, of my lifetime.

We hear often, and correctly, that winning football games in the National Football League is hard. When there is a movie called Any Given Sunday based on the well-known and legitimate sentiment that margins between winning and losing in the NFL are razor thin, extra value should be placed on a coach who can win consistently, at a high level, and in multiple places.

Allow me to introduce you to Marty Schottenheimer.

All He Does Is Win (In The Regular Season Anyway)

I have been very encouraged by recent reports that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are looking to hire Marty. If I ran the Jacksonville Jaguars, I’d have cut the Mularkey and strongly considered Marty as well. If I were the Dolphins or the Raiders or the Rams any other team looking for a coach, I’d take a good, long, hard look at Marty too.

Why? I think DJ Khaled’s famous line (tweaked a bit) says it best: all he does is win.

Before I present Marty’s downright ridiculous regular season coaching record, let’s get the negative out of the way right now: he sucks in the playoffs.

When you’ve coached in 18 playoff games and only won five of them, it’s fair to say that you suck in the playoffs.

I’m about to laud Marty for an incredible record of regular season statistics he has compiled; it’s only fair to point out areas where his coaching record does not impress. Any way you slice it, dice it, toss it, turn it, Marty hasn’t been able to get it done in the playoffs with myriad opportunities.

But think about that last phrase as it relates to the playoffs: myriad opportunities.

Unless you are among the handful of great-to-excellent coaches currently in the NFL – Belichick, Reid, McCarthy, Tomlin, Payton, just to name a few – you probably are not getting myriad opportunities at the playoffs. And make no mistake: it is a huge accomplishment to make the playoffs in the NFL. If just winning a game is “hard” think about the difficulty level of winning enough games to reach the playoffs. Now consider doing that 13 times.

Does 5-13 suck in the playoffs? Yes. It sucks bad. But that number 13 is impressive when it represents the 13 teams you’ve led to the playoffs in 20+ seasons as an NFL coach.

How many other coaches in NFL history have made the playoffs in 65% of their seasons?

A couple other fun notes I bet you didn’t realize:

• Marty finished with 9 wins in three of the years he missed the playoffs; so he had nine or more wins in 16 of his 20 full seasons coaching in the NFL
• Only one time – once – did a Marty-coached team finish with fewer than seven wins over a 16-game schedule.
• Since being fired by San Diego after going 14-2 but losing in the Divisional Round in 2006, Marty hasn’t been able to land another NFL head coaching gig.

And it’s this last note that shows just foolish NFL franchises can be.

I’ve alluded to it, but now it’s time to bring out the ultimate trump card in any sports debate. Winning.

Here is Marty’s regular season record and winning percentage in his four NFL head coaching stops:

• Cleveland (’84-’88): 44-27, .620
• Kansas City (’89-’98): 101-58-1, .635
• Washington (’01): 8-8
• San Diego (’02-’06): 47-33, .588
• Total: 200-126-1, .613

Marty Schottenheimer has won 200 regular season NFL games against only 126 losses and one tie. It’s a remarkable record that gets far too little respect. Yes, the playoff failures are a blotch on his resume, but what he’s done in 18 games doesn’t discount what he’s done in the 327 other ones he’s coached.

Also consider this:

• The Cleveland Browns were 1-7 when he took over in the middle of the ’84 season. They proceeded to go 4-4 the rest of that season, then 44-27 under Marty in the ensuing years; and we all know what happened in the AFC Championship Games against Denver…
• The Chiefs were 8-22 in the two seasons prior to Marty taking over.
• The Redskins were 8-8 the year before Marty took over, but maintaining mediocrity in Washington is impressive given this context: it came under Daniel Snyder, and the Redskins have had only three .500 or better seasons since.
• The San Diego Chargers were 6-26 in the two seasons prior to Marty taking over.

There is no substitute for winning in sports. None. It’s not the be all, end all in any debate, nor should it be the only consideration when hiring a coach; but it damn sure better be a huge part of the discussion. Marty may not have won a championship yet*, and he may never win one, but he would be a great head coaching choice for a lot of teams.

* – For the record, Marty is coming off a UFL championship this past season. Maybe he’s gotten the professional football playoff monkey off of his back? Hmm…

NFL’s Losers Should Consider Winning Schottenheimer

You know who else’s playoff record is spotty over the last decade? The Miami Dolphins. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Oakland Raiders. The Jacksonville Jaguars. The St. Louis Rams. You’re telling me that going one-and-done in the playoffs, the general expectation for a Marty-coached team, wouldn’t be a vast improvement over what these franchises are currently doing? I sure think it would be.

As they say, just make it to the dance then anything can happen. Don’t poo-poo a man’s ability to guide teams into the NFL’s second season. Just because other coaches have gotten hot at the right times doesn’t mean they are necessarily better overall football coaches than others who haven’t.

A few caveats: Marty is old (68) and I grant that he’s not a potential home run hire like a Sean Payton or a Mike Tomlin or even a Jim Harbaugh. Marty is a guy who may only coach for a few years, and he’s well known for being a stern disciplinarian. Players are sure not to like that at first, but who cares? These guys are being paid millions to win football games, not to have a coach warm the toilet seat for them before they sit down.

Tampa Bay imploded this year with a lot of young talent and a players’ coach. Maybe they need a little Martyball, a little Hamburger Drill in their lives to maximize their potential.

If some NFL team is smart, it will pair Marty with a young, talented roster and let him maximize that team’s growth through accountability and discipline. Will he win you a Super Bowl? Maybe not. Will he make you competitive and get you to the playoffs? His track record certainly suggests so.

And if you’re a fan of the Dolphins, the Raiders, the Bucs, or any other fledgling franchise just looking for something to believe in, doesn’t annual competitiveness and probable playoff spots sound good right about now? It better. Otherwise your expectations are bit out of whack with reality.

Conclusion: Brief Memo To NFL GMs

Someone, anyone, hire the most underrated football in history. Marty’s earned it. Hell, he even won a professional football championship just to prove to you that he is capable of doing the one thing everyone always criticizes him for.

And we know one thing: if Marty does ever get that elusive Super Bowl title, no one will ever look more like a boss taking the Gatorade bath.

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Update: Thanks to Twitter, this post caught the attention of Gatorade president Sarah Robb O’Hagan (@SarahRobbOh). She enjoyed our rundown of the funniest Gatorade baths ever, and she also sent me the wall mural from Gatorade’s headquarters with some of their favorite Gatorade baths of all-time. It’s very cool. You’ll see it at the end of the post.

The Gatorade bath is a tradition like few others in sports.

After most monumental wins in football – specifically Super Bowls, national championship games, especially important and/or meaningful bowl games, or season-ending victories over hated rivals – such a celebration can be expected. The tradition began with the New York Giants in the mid-1980s and continues into today with no signs of slowing down.

While the sentimental among us enjoy the Gatorade bath because it symbolizes the triumph of a team of men on the field of athletic battle and the ultimate moment of shared jubilation and respect between coach and player, I enjoy Gatorade baths for a far different reason.

Pictures and videos of them can be laugh-lout-loud hilarious.

So here is my personal ode to the Gatorade bath, with the 28 funniest Gatorade baths of all-time, presented in no particular order other than saving the best ones for last.

Bob Stoops

Image source: AP Photo/LM Otero via Boston.com

Urban Meyer

Image source: SBNation

Nick Saban

Zombie Ken Whisenhunt

Image source: Revenge of the Birds

Kirk Ferentz

Image credit: AP Photo/Lynne Sladky via Boston.com

Jim Tressel

Image credit: Photo by Harry How/Getty Images via The Part Time Jock

Image source: Eleven Warriors

Gary Patterson

Joe Gibbs

Image source: Here

Tony Dungy

Image source: Stock Lemon Blog

Bill Parcells

Image credit: Peter Read Miller/SI via Hot Clicks

Greg Schiano

Image source: Today’s ACC Headlines

Image credit: Dill/AP via NY Daily News

Steve Spurrier

Image source: Eric Campos via GoGamecocks.com

Dave Doeren

Image credit: Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE via Chicago Tribune

Some Confused Ohio Bobcats

Mike McCarthy

Image source: Here

Cito Gaston

Image source: The National Post

Bill Curry

Image source: MTV.com

Rick Stockstill

Image credit: Chris Graythen/Getty Images via Boston.com

Frank Beamer

Image credit: Phil Coale/AP via Statesman.com

Image source: Boston.com

Eric Mangini

Les Miles

Image source: Here

Image credit: A. Messerschmidt/Getty Images via MTV.com

Image source: SECTalk.com

And I saved the best image last…

Marty Schottenheimer…like a boss

But no Gatorade shower can or will ever be quite as funny as the one in this video, all things considered.

Guy Morriss

Update: Actually, I was mistaken. I’m not quite sure how I forgot about one of my favorite Gatorade bath pictures of all time, but I did. Thankfully, loyal Tweeters like @jimkanicki are here to remind me of the error of my ways. For goodness sakes, this pic is the background of Spencer Hall’s Twitter page!

Here is the great Howard Schnellenberger (the man who laid the foundation at The U, for those too young to remember) being doused by his team at Florida Atlantic.

Random thought: I suppose I should change the number in the title to 29 considering that there are technically now 29 images and videos with the addition of the Schellenberger picture, but since one of the pics is an elephant peeing on Les Miles, we won’t count that as a Gatorade bath.

Update: And here is the picture of the mural at Gatorade HQ sent to me by Sarah Robb O’Hagan:

Combine Stanford’s loss to Oregon two weekend ago with Luck’s pedestrian numbers against Cal on Saturday (20-30, 257 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT in a 31-28 win), and then mix in superlative performances by Baylor’s Robert Griffin III and USC’s Matt Barkley this past Saturday, and Luck doesn’t seem luck such a clear-cut #1 prospect any more, now does he?

Don’t get me wrong, Luck’s still the guy. If the NFL draft were held today, the Indianapolis Colts would snatch Luck up quicker than you can say “Peyton” and then deal with the ramifications later. Plus, we don’t even know if RG3 or Barkley are going to turn pro after this year.

Griffin surely won’t get the respect his performances and athletic ability deserve once NFL scouts start picking apart the simplicity of the offense he operates in, so he is unlikely to be a surefire top 10 pick. That, plus a desire to to win the Heisman (if he doesn’t this year) and take Baylor to even greater heights may compel him to stay in school.

As for Barkley, he has persevered through so much at USC while the school serves its punishment for crimes that happened before he got there. The Trojans have loads of talent and will be bowl eligible again next year. It seems reasonable to think he may want to stay for his senior year and finish what he started, though he’ll likely be projected as a higher pick than Griffin, making such a decision that much harder.

(Side note: remember when Landry Jones was discussed in the same sentence with these three guys? About that…)

Back to Luck.

Even with Griffin and Barkley seemingly closing the gap this weekend, Luck is still the guy I’d want my team taking if they had the chance. It’s become clear as the season has gone along that Luck simply doesn’t have great weapons to work with on offense, and that is depressing his still great numbers. For the season, Luck is still completing over 70% of his passes and has thrown 31 TDs against only 8 INTs.

So though some fans may be tempted to implore their teams to “stiffen for Griffin” or “keep missing the mark(ley) to get Barkley” (wow, that one sucks), Colts fans should still be hopeful that their team will maintain its “suck for Luck” trajectory. He still has franchise QB written all over him.

And now onto this week’s Suck for Luck Power Rankings, where not being #1 no longer looks quite so awful.

NFL Suck For Luck Power Rankings: Week 12

—

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-10)

This is the first Monday that the Colts haven’t had to lament a loss all season. Score!

In celebration of the Colts not losing, here is a picture of Colts Jim Irsay and his smiling daughter Casey.

Image credit: Charlie Nye via The Indianapolis Star

2. St. Louis Rams (2-8)

That’s it. I’m done with the Rams.

I’ve supported this team all year, always ranking them lower in these rankings than their record or performance suggested. Why? I don’t know why. I guess because I foolishly keeping believing that Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get this crappy offense going.

Well, when you get trounced at home by Tarvaris Jackson, Pete Carrol, and the Seahawks, you lose my support.

Sam Bradford “can’t believe how bad this season has been“? Join the club.

3. Carolina Panthers (2-8)

Here is another team that I’ve lost faith in. The Panthers were really playing well despite their 2-6 record before their bye came. Since then, they’ve gotten trounced by the Titans, and yesterday they gave up 49 points to Detroit in the process of blowing a big early lead.

Cam Newton is outstanding, and he continues to make the Panthers’ offense fun to watch, but you have to stop someone every now and again to win games. Considering new head coach Ron Rivera is a defensive-minded guy, hopefully he can get their defensive woes turned around. Maybe a high draft pick will help?

4. Washington Redskins (3-7)

The Redskins actually turned in an inspired performance yesterday in taking the Cowboys to overtime. They even had a chance to win, but Graham Gano’s field goal sailed wide and the Redskins once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

The Redskins’ loss also included this bizarre play call from one of Mike Shanahan’s henchman…which really is a perfect visual representation for what Redskins football has become: inexplicable.

 GIF source: Imgur via Reddit

5. Arizona Cardinals (3-7)

I am ranking Arizona below the Rams, Panthers, and Redskins out of respect for Larry Fitzgerald, because he continues to be amazing. But my goodness is their QB situation awful. I know the 49ers have the best defense in the NFL, but that performance yesterday by John Skelton made Derek Anderson look like a Pro Bowler (again…remember when that happened?).

It’s not good when you’re longing for Kevin Kolb to be under center, but that’s what it has come to for Arizona.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-7)

Congratulations, you lost to the Cleveland Browns. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

On the bright side, Blaine Gabbert threw for more than 100 yards! He actually tossed for 210 yards. But once again he did not throw a TD, and his yards per attempt was an anemic 5.1.

Is there anyone who wouldn’t take Luck, Barkley, or Griffin (hell, even Landry Jones) over Gabbert? I don’t think so. The Jags are going to regret this pick for a long time.

7. Cleveland Browns (4-6)

Has a team ever had an emptier four wins than Cleveland? They’ve beaten Indy, Miami back when the Dolphins were just giving games away, Seattle in a 6-3 barnburner, and the woeful Jags last week.

Bill Parcells famously said “you are what your record says you are” and I usually believe it. But come on. The Browns being “a 4-win team” is terribly false advertising. Yes, it’s technically true, but it implies some level of football competence. And those two words really never should be next to eachother when the subject is the Browns.

8. Minnesota Vikings (2-8)

Yeah, I probably have the Vikings too high, but consider this a continued show of respect for Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen. I think yesterday’s game against Oakland goes much differently if Peterson played the whole game, and I think the Vikings have actually found a QB they can build around, unlike everyone on this list except for Carolina (and maybe the Rams…maybe).

Also, I didn’t want to put the Vikings any higher on this list and make Drew Lange cry like a little girl. That would have been tragic.

9. San Diego Chargers (4-6)

As I perused the rest of the 4-6 teams, the Chargers stood out as the team playing the worst. They’ve dropped five straight and Philip Rivers is playing like absolute horsecrap. It’s shocking that a team that seemingly has so much talent could be so bad, but we’ve seen it from these Chargers year after year, with this recent five-game skid perhaps being the nadir.

A 14-2 season from Marty Schottenheimer doesn’t look so bad anymore, now does it?

In honor of one of the most unnecessarily disrespected good coaches in NFL history, here is Marty taking a Gatorade bath like an absolute boss.

10. Buffalo Bills (5-5)

I know that the Bills have a better record than Miami, Seattle, Tampa Bay, Kansas City, and Philadelphia, and that they’re even with Tennessee, the Jets, and Denver, but when you lose three straight games by a combined score of 106-26, and you’re having buyer’s remorse just a few weeks after signing your QB to a long-term contract extension, you get included in the Suck For Luck Rankings.

As for the honorable mentions, which I just mentioned, Kansas City better not get too comfortable. I’m keeping my eye on them, especially with Matt Cassel out and Tyler Palko not in. They face New England tonight on Monday Night Football, which very well could turn into a massacre. But hey, at least for this week, they’re better than the Bills!

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Got any gripes? That’s what the comment section is for. Have at it.

This past weekend, rumors began to circulate that the Cleveland Browns are interested in bringing Marty Schottenheimer back to be their head coach in 2009. Earlier this season, rumors began to run rampant that the Browns are also interested in former Scottenheimer assistant and Steelers head coach Bill Cowher.

(Update 12/10 8:00am: ESPN’s John Clayton is reporting this morning that he thinks the Browns will make an offer to Bill Cowher, but that the Cowher will turn it down. Some people think that Cowher is simply using the Browns to gain leverage and keep his name top of mind for if and when he does want to return to coaching. Midwest Sports Fans writer JRod is reporting who gives a crap. This is the time of year when everyone in the NFL lies about everything — injuries, draft boards, job interest, etc. No one knows what Cowher will do, but there is genuine interest. Good enough for me. Now back to the post.)

No one knows who will be coaching the Cleveland Browns in 2009, or even who will end up interviewing for the job; but what has become unfortunately clear this season is that Romeo Crennel will not be back. I love Romeo Crennel, and I know that his players love him as well; and I wish that he was the right man for the job. But it is hard to come up with any type of rationale or reason for why he should continue as the Browns head coach.

So with that being said, I have decided to stack Bill Cowher and Marty Schottenheimer up next to eachother to see which coach would be the better choice for the Browns, using 11 carefully selected categories that are all extremely important indicators of their potential for success in Cleveland.

Here we go…

Place of Birth:

Marty Schottenheimer was born in Canonsburgh, PA. Bill Cowher was born in Crafton, PA.

Advantage: Push – to hell with Pennsylvania. This is the Browns we’re talking about.

__________

College:

Marty Schottenheimer went to school at Pitt. Bill Cowher went to NC State.

Advantage: Bill Cowher – at least he didn’t go to…ugh…Pittsburgh. Guilt by association for Schottenheimer.

__________

Professional Football Playing Career:

Marty Schottenheimer was a seventh round draft pick of Buffalo Bills, then in the AFL. He played four seasons with the Bills, including their AFL Championship team in 1965 when we made the AFL All-Star Team. He also played two seasons with the Boston Patriots and was then traded twice in the 1971 offseason before retiring.

Bill Cowher signed with the Eagles as a free agent in 1979. In 1980, he signed with the Browns, where he played from 1980-1982. He was then traded back to the Eagles and played there from 1983-1984.

Advantage: Push – Schottenheimer had more success, but it was before the merger and Cowher played for the Browns.

__________

Regular Season Head Coaching Record:

Marty Schottenheimer has been the head coach for four teams: the Browns, the Chiefs, the Redskins, and the Chargers. His combined W/L record is 200-126-1, which is good for a .613 winning percentage.

Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team: the Pittsburgh Steelers. His regular season record during his Steelers tenure was 149-90, which is good for a .623 winning percentage.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

__________

Postseason Head Coaching Record:

Marty Schottenheimer has a putrid 5-13 postseason record, which is only a .278 winning percentage. He has never reached a Super Bowl. He did coach in 3 AFC Championship games, and twice with the Browns — and we all remember how those turned out.

Bill Cowher has a rather sterling 12-9 postseason record and has one Super Bowl title in two appearances. He has also coached in 7 AFC Championship games.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

__________

Adaptability:

Marty Schottenheimer has at least a .500 record for each of the four teams that he has coached for. If you take out his 8-8 tenure in Washington, Schottenheimer’s worst performance was in San Diego, where he went 47-33 (.588). Marty Schottenheimer has proven that no matter what team he coaches for, on either coast, in either conference, and no matter what the situation is when he gets there, he will turn that franchise into a consistent playoff contender.

Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team, in one city, and for only one owner. He was superb as the coach of the Steelers, but we have no other history to go on to project his ability to adapt to a new circumstance.

Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer

__________

Funniest Photoshopped Picture in first five pages of Google Image Search:

This picture of Marty Schottenheimer seems to suggest that he needs or takes Ritalin. The Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is shoddy at best:

(Here is the original source: http://theobgcommunique.blog.ca/2006/11/04/week_9_obg_nfl_picks~1296345)

This picture of Bill Cowher is completely ridiculous, makes no sense, and while the Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is better, it is overall far, far funnier than the picture above.

(Here is the original source: http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1510865429079286066OVCnvA)

Advantage: Bill Cowher

__________

Best Angry Face:

Marty Schottenheimer can certainly get angry with the best of them, but Bill Cowher has the most famous angry face of all NFL coaches this side of Jon Gruden.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

__________

Dorkiest Picture available online:

In this photo, Bill Cowher has a grin on his face so cheesy it would make this guy cream in his pants:

(This photo is from http://www.montheyrhinos.com.)

Marty Schottenheimer, on the other hand, looks like a high school chemisty teacher with damaged retinas who is counting down the minutes until he can get back to his Bunsen burners and graduated cylinders.

(This image is from Getty Images. Here is the original source.)

Advantage: Push

__________

Fashion Sense:

Bill Cowher’s choice of a sweater for the press conference in which he announced his resignation as coach of the Steelers is legendary. No one was quite sure if Cowher was trying to be a white Bill Cosby or if a Jackson Pollack painting and a Picasso painting were making love around his torso.

(This photo courtesy of Pittsburghlive.com.)

The following picture of Marty Schottenheimer proves that Marty is not quite Versace either. The bright white shoes and above-the-knee shorts are bad enough, but the hat tops it off. We’ll give him a pass on the hat under the assumption that he may have sensitive to the sun in his advancing age.

Advantage: Push – and who cares about their fashion sense? They’d be coaching in Cleveland for goodness sake.

__________

Coaching Tree:

Marty Schottenheimer’s coaching tree includes Bill Cowher, Herm Edwards, Tony Dungy, Mike McCarthy, Wade Phillips, and Cam Cameron, among others. Former Cowher assistants such as Jim Haslett, Mike Mularkey, Ken Whisenhunt, and Dick LeBeau have all been NFL head coaches of varying success.

Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer – he gave Bill Cowher his first job, so if NFL coaching was a
multi-level marketing organization, all of Cowher’s tree would count for Schottenheimer.

And that’s it.

The final tally is 2 for Marty Schottenheimer, 5 for Bill Cowher, and 4 categories for which neither has distinct advantage.

So, clearly, Bill Cowher is the better choice for the Browns.

In all seriousness, I think he is. In the categories that matter: regular season record and postseason success, Bill Cowher has Marty Schottenheimer beat. The biggest discrepancy is in the postseason. Bill Cowher has proven that he can lead teams deep into the playoffs, and that he can get them over the hump. Marty Schottenheimer, while one of the most successful regular season coaches of all time, has not proven that he can translate regular season success into Super Bowl appearances or victories.

The only criteria that might give you pause as a Browns fan is the fact that Bill Cowher has never proven he can win outside of Pittsburgh. The Steelers won before he was there, and they are winning now that he is gone. Is it possible that the true reasons for the Steelers success lie with the Rooney family and the Steelers organization, and that Bill Cowher is given too much credit? Marty Schottenheimer has taken three difference franchises to the playoffs and has turned moribund franchises into winners.

While this is reasonable to consider, it simply does not trump Bill Cowher’s consistent success in Pittsburgh. And even though any Browns fan would sever their arm just to taste the playoffs again – and Marty Schottenheimer would undoubtedly be able to deliver at least a playoff appearance – Bill Cowher gives you the potential of going all the way, based on what he has proven capable of in the past.

If the Browns are going to make a change, and they are, then why not go for the one with the highest upside, and the one who is younger and could be around longer? That would be Bill Cowher.

The truth is that Browns fans would have reason for genuine excitement and optimism if either Marty Schottenheimer or Bill Cowher is trolling the sidelines of Cleveland Stadium next year. But I think the optimism would be justifiably higher if Bill Cowher is one that ends up getting the job.

To be fair to Dorsey, the Browns have not scored a touchdown in three games with three different starting quarterbacks. Last week, it was Derek Anderson at the helm in Cleveland’s 10-6 loss against Indianapolis, and two weeks ago Brady Quinn started in the 16-6 loss against the Houston Texans.

Quinn, despite wearing a splint wrapped by a bulky bandage, was on the sidelines, communicating with Dorsey via a headset: (“Hey, Ken, watch out! Titan coming from 12 o’clock! Duck! Run!” or “Hey, do you think we’ll be able to catch the Dallas-Pittsburgh game?”)

Despite Quinn’s helpful hints, Dorsey, who hasn’t had an NFL start in three years, went 22-of-43 for 150 yards and threw one interception.

Prior to the Browns latest debacle, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported that sources inside the Browns organization said that Marty Schottenheimer had the inside track in the race to replace Head Coach Romeo Crennel. But Marty’s reputation for not being able to get to the Super Bowl has caused some doubt of his suitability among the local media and Browns fans. Schottenheimer, 65, started his head coaching career in Cleveland in 1984.

Marty Schottenheimer was fired by the San Diego Chargers after a 14-2 season in 2006, and the Chargers have not contended, since. Marty also has the reputation of being very stubborn, especially when adding family members to his staff. It was pushing to hire brother Kurt that led to dissension in Cleveland; and word has it that Marty wants his son, Brian, involved in his next coaching job.

Mortensen’s report smacks of the Browns using the media to float its latest trial balloon up there for fans to see – and for Bill Cowher to see. Mortensen also reported, “Bill Cowher is a consideration, if he sent stronger signals that he is ready to return to coaching.”

In the meantime, what do the Browns do about their last three games against Philadelphia on Monday Night Football; Cincinnati, Dec. 21, and Pittsburgh on Dec. 28?

Although the score does not reflect this, the Browns defense played one of its best games Sunday in coming up with two interceptions and a fumble recovery, accounting for three Phil Dawson field goals.

Dorsey is gutsy, I’ll give him that, standing in a collapsing pocket until it is too late. He threw a 25-yarder to wide receiver Braylon Edwards – which Edwads caught – in the Browns very first possession Sunday.

But the best throw came from Joshua Cribbs, the Browns Everyman, who has returned kick-offs and punts for touchdowns, and Sunday, lined up eight times as a shotgun quarterback, running six times.

Finally, late in the fourth quarter, Cribbs, an ex-Kent State University running quarterback, threw deep to Edwards who managed to get one foot down inside the line. The Browns didn’t even challenge the call, leading one CBS analyst to say, “Cleveland is asleep at the switch.”

I agree. Okay, the season is lost, but this is the time to experiment with creative play-calling. Why not set up the flea-flicker? How about a fast-paced, no-huddle, shot-gun format? What do the 4-9 Browns have to lose?

If the Browns are gun shy about playing inexperienced pro quarterbacks, why not place an ad in the classifieds of NFL city newspapers:

“Wanted: NFL quarterback. Must have experience scoring from the Red Zone. Please email Randy.”

Hmmm…. I wonder what Vinny Testarverde is doing these days.

Here is the story. I’ll have more to discuss about this when I get home.

UPDATE: Instead of giving me own thoughts on this issue, I will let lifelong Browns fan Ryan Russell provide his thoughts, via a text message he sent me last night:

“Marty was my favorite coach ever. Trick plays, bitches. He was head coach the last time we were favored to with the AFC, and he made KC and San Diego into programs, if only for a moment. F–k that “big game” bullshit, Marty is older, wiser, and overdue for a dynasty.”

Sounds good to me. Even the most optimistic Romeo Crennel fan would have to now concede that not only will Romeo be gone next year, but that it will be a justified move. When the Dolphins were searching for a coach, and ultimately chose Cam “Camer” Cameron, I wanted them to grab Marty Schottenheimer. He is a tough, no-nonsense, old school coach would will fit in perfectly coming back to the AFC North.

As one very proud Browns fan told me yesterday, “We have talent, we just someone to coach it up.” Amen brother. Shh…don’t tell the guys over at www.cowher09.com, but I almost want Marty more than I want Bill Cowher. Marty doesn’t carry his longtime association with the Steelers, we wouldn’t have to listed to Steelers fan BS if and when we get to the top of the AFC North, and I think there would be a little extra motivation for Marty Schottenheimer to finish what he started in Cleveland.

No one knows if Marty Schottenheimer is interested in coaching the Browns, but I think his name should definitely be added to the short list if he is.

What are your initial thoughts of Marty Schottenheimer to the Browns?