A sports blog by and for Midwest Sports Fans
This post is going to be relatively quick, because the point is an easy one to make.
It boils down to this:
Some smart NFL franchise that values winning and player development should hire Marty Schottenheimer, who is one of the most underrated coaches, in any sport, of my lifetime.
Update: Thanks to Twitter, this post caught the attention of Gatorade president Sarah Robb O’Hagan (@SarahRobbOh). She enjoyed our rundown of the funniest Gatorade baths ever, and she also sent me the wall mural from Gatorade’s headquarters with some of their favorite Gatorade baths of all-time. It’s very cool. You’ll see it at the end of the post.
The Gatorade bath is a tradition like few others in sports.
After most monumental wins in football – specifically Super Bowls, national championship games, especially important and/or meaningful bowl games, or season-ending victories over hated rivals – such a celebration can be expected. The tradition began with the New York Giants in the mid-1980s and continues into today with no signs of slowing down.
While the sentimental among us enjoy the Gatorade bath because it symbolizes the triumph of a team of men on the field of athletic battle and the ultimate moment of shared jubilation and respect between coach and player, I enjoy Gatorade baths for a far different reason.
For once, Andrew Luck is not the toast of the college quarterback world.
Combine Stanford’s loss to Oregon two weekend ago with Luck’s pedestrian numbers against Cal on Saturday (20-30, 257 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT in a 31-28 win), and then mix in superlative performances by Baylor’s Robert Griffin III and USC’s Matt Barkley this past Saturday, and Luck doesn’t seem luck such a clear-cut #1 prospect any more, now does he?
This past weekend, rumors began to circulate that the Cleveland Browns are interested in bringing Marty Schottenheimer back to be their head coach in 2009. Earlier this season, rumors began to run rampant that the Browns are also interested in former Scottenheimer assistant and Steelers head coach Bill Cowher.
(Update 12/10 8:00am: ESPN’s John Clayton is reporting this morning that he thinks the Browns will make an offer to Bill Cowher, but that the Cowher will turn it down. Some people think that Cowher is simply using the Browns to gain leverage and keep his name top of mind for if and when he does want to return to coaching. Midwest Sports Fans writer JRod is reporting who gives a crap. This is the time of year when everyone in the NFL lies about everything — injuries, draft boards, job interest, etc. No one knows what Cowher will do, but there is genuine interest. Good enough for me. Now back to the post.)
No one knows who will be coaching the Cleveland Browns in 2009, or even who will end up interviewing for the job; but what has become unfortunately clear this season is that Romeo Crennel will not be back. I love Romeo Crennel, and I know that his players love him as well; and I wish that he was the right man for the job. But it is hard to come up with any type of rationale or reason for why he should continue as the Browns head coach.
So with that being said, I have decided to stack Bill Cowher and Marty Schottenheimer up next to eachother to see which coach would be the better choice for the Browns, using 11 carefully selected categories that are all extremely important indicators of their potential for success in Cleveland.
Here we go…
Place of Birth:
Marty Schottenheimer was born in Canonsburgh, PA. Bill Cowher was born in Crafton, PA.
Advantage: Push – to hell with Pennsylvania. This is the Browns we’re talking about.
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College:
Marty Schottenheimer went to school at Pitt. Bill Cowher went to NC State.
Advantage: Bill Cowher – at least he didn’t go to…ugh…Pittsburgh. Guilt by association for Schottenheimer.
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Professional Football Playing Career:
Marty Schottenheimer was a seventh round draft pick of Buffalo Bills, then in the AFL. He played four seasons with the Bills, including their AFL Championship team in 1965 when we made the AFL All-Star Team. He also played two seasons with the Boston Patriots and was then traded twice in the 1971 offseason before retiring.
Bill Cowher signed with the Eagles as a free agent in 1979. In 1980, he signed with the Browns, where he played from 1980-1982. He was then traded back to the Eagles and played there from 1983-1984.
Advantage: Push – Schottenheimer had more success, but it was before the merger and Cowher played for the Browns.
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Regular Season Head Coaching Record:
Marty Schottenheimer has been the head coach for four teams: the Browns, the Chiefs, the Redskins, and the Chargers. His combined W/L record is 200-126-1, which is good for a .613 winning percentage.
Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team: the Pittsburgh Steelers. His regular season record during his Steelers tenure was 149-90, which is good for a .623 winning percentage.
Advantage: Bill Cowher
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Postseason Head Co
aching Record:
Marty Schottenheimer has a putrid 5-13 postseason record, which is only a .278 winning percentage. He has never reached a Super Bowl. He did coach in 3 AFC Championship games, and twice with the Browns — and we all remember how those turned out.
Bill Cowher has a rather sterling 12-9 postseason record and has one Super Bowl title in two appearances. He has also coached in 7 AFC Championship games.
Advantage: Bill Cowher
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Adaptability:
Marty Schottenheimer has at least a .500 record for each of the four teams that he has coached for. If you take out his 8-8 tenure in Washington, Schottenheimer’s worst performance was in San Diego, where he went 47-33 (.588). Marty Schottenheimer has proven that no matter what team he coaches for, on either coast, in either conference, and no matter what the situation is when he gets there, he will turn that franchise into a consistent playoff contender.
Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team, in one city, and for only one owner. He was superb as the coach of the Steelers, but we have no other history to go on to project his ability to adapt to a new circumstance.
Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer
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Funniest Photoshopped Picture in first five pages of Google Image Search:
This picture of Marty Schottenheimer seems to suggest that he needs or takes Ritalin. The Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is shoddy at best:
(Here is the original source: http://theobgcommunique.blog.ca/2006/11/04/week_9_obg_nfl_picks~1296345)
This picture of Bill Cowher is completely ridiculous, makes no sense, and while the Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is better, it is overall far, far funnier than the picture above.
(Here is the original source: http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1510865429079286066OVCnvA)
Advantage: Bill Cowher
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Best Angry Face:
Marty Schottenheimer can certainly get angry with the best of them, but Bill Cowher has the most famous angry face of all NFL coaches this side of Jon Gruden.
Advantage: Bill Cowher
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Dorkiest Picture available online:
In this photo, Bill Cowher has a grin on his face so cheesy it would make this guy cream in his pants:
(This photo is from http://www.montheyrhinos.com.)
Marty Schottenheimer, on the other hand, looks like a high school chemisty teacher with damaged retinas who is counting down the minutes until he can get back to his Bunsen burners and graduated cylinders.
(This image is from Getty Images. Here is the original source.)
Advantage: Push
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Fashion Sense:
Bill Cowher’s choice of a sweater for the press conference in which he announced his resignation as coach of the Steelers is legendary. No one was quite sure if Cowher was trying to be a white Bill Cosby or if a Jackson Pollack painting and a Picasso painting were making love around his torso.
(This photo courtesy of Pittsburghlive.com.)
The following picture of Marty Schottenheimer proves that Marty is not quite Versace either. The bright white shoes and above-the-knee shorts are bad enough, but the hat tops it off. We’ll give him a pass on the hat under the assumption that he may have sensitive to the sun in his advancing age.
Advantage: Push – and who cares about their fashion sense? They’d be coaching in Cleveland for goodness sake.
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Coaching Tree:
Marty Schottenheimer’s coaching tree includes Bill Cowher, Herm Edwards, Tony Dungy, Mike McCarthy, Wade Phillips, and Cam Cameron, among others. Former Cowher assistants such as Jim Haslett, Mike Mularkey, Ken Whisenhunt, and Dick LeBeau have all been NFL head coaches of varying success.
Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer – he gave Bill Cowher his first job, so if NFL coaching was a
multi-level marketing organization, all of Cowher’s tree would count for Schottenheimer.
And that’s it.
The final tally is 2 for Marty Schottenheimer, 5 for Bill Cowher, and 4 categories for which neither has distinct advantage.
So, clearly, Bill Cowher is the better choice for the Browns.
In all seriousness, I think he is. In the categories that matter: regular season record and postseason success, Bill Cowher has Marty Schottenheimer beat. The biggest discrepancy is in the postseason. Bill Cowher has proven that he can lead teams deep into the playoffs, and that he can get them over the hump. Marty Schottenheimer, while one of the most successful regular season coaches of all time, has not proven that he can translate regular season success into Super Bowl appearances or victories.
The only criteria that might give you pause as a Browns fan is the fact that Bill Cowher has never proven he
can win outside of Pittsburgh. The Steelers won before he was there, and they are winning now that he is gone. Is it possible that the true reasons for the Steelers success lie with the Rooney family and the Steelers organization, and that Bill Cowher is given too much credit? Marty Schottenheimer has taken three difference franchises to the playoffs and has turned moribund franchises into winners.
While this is reasonable to consider, it simply does not trump Bill Cowher’s consistent success in Pittsburgh. And even though any Browns fan would sever their arm just to taste the playoffs again – and Marty Schottenheimer would undoubtedly be able to deliver at least a playoff appearance – Bill Cowher gives you the potential of going all the way, based on what he has proven capable of in the past.
If the Browns are going to make a change, and they are, then why not go for the one with the highest upside, and the one who is younger and could be around longer? That would be Bill Cowher.
The truth is that Browns fans would have reason for genuine excitement and optimism if either Marty Schottenheimer or Bill Cowher is trolling the sidelines of Cleveland Stadium next year. But I think the optimism would be justifiably higher if Bill Cowher is one that ends up getting the job.
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If anyone wondered whether third-string quarterback Ken Dorsey could lead the Browns into the end zone against the Titans on Sunday, all doubts were erased as Tennessee clobbered Cleveland 28-9 on its way toward clinching the AFC South Division title.
To be fair to Dorsey, the Browns have not scored a touchdown in three games with three different starting quarterbacks. Last week, it was Derek Anderson at the helm in Cleveland’s 10-6 loss against Indianapolis, and two weeks ago Brady Quinn started in the 16-6 loss against the Houston Texans.
Quinn, despite wearing a splint wrapped by a bulky bandage, was on the sidelines, communicating with Dorsey via a headset: (“Hey, Ken, watch out! Titan coming from 12 o’clock! Duck! Run!†or “Hey, do you think we’ll be able to catch the Dallas-Pittsburgh game?â€)
Despite Quinn’s helpful hints, Dorsey, who hasn’t had an NFL start in three years, went 22-of-43 for 150 yards and threw one interception.
Prior to the Browns latest debacle, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported that sources inside the Browns organization said that Marty Schottenheimer had the inside track in the race to replace Head Coach Romeo 
Crennel. But Marty’s reputation for not being able to get to the Super Bowl has caused some doubt of his suitability among the local media and Browns fans. Schottenheimer, 65, started his head coaching career in Cleveland in 1984.
Loading ...Marty Schottenheimer was fired by the San Diego Chargers after a 14-2 season in 2006, and the Chargers have not contended, since. Marty also has the reputation of being very stubborn, especially when adding family members to his staff. It was pushing to hire brother Kurt that led to dissension in Cleveland; and word has it that Marty wants his son, Brian, involved in his next coaching job.
Mortensen’s report smacks of the Browns using the media to float its latest trial balloon up there for fans to see – and for Bill Cowher to see. Mortensen also reported, “Bill Cowher is a consideration, if he sent stronger signals that he is ready to return to coaching.â€
In the meantime, what do the Browns do about their last three games against Philadelphia on Monday Night Football; Cincinnati, Dec. 21, and Pittsburgh on Dec. 28?
Although the score does not reflect this, the Browns defense played one of its best games Sunday in coming up with two interceptions and a fumble recovery, accounting for three Phil Dawson field goals.
Dorsey is gutsy, I’ll give him that, standing in a collapsing pocket until it is too late. He threw a 25-yarder to wide receiver Braylon Edwards – which Edwads caught – in the Browns very first possession Sunday.
But the best throw came from Joshua Cribbs, the Browns Everyman, who has returned kick-offs and punts for touchdowns, and Sunday, lined up eight times as a shotgun quarterback, running six times.
Finally, late in the fourth quarter, Cribbs, an ex-Kent State University running quarterback, threw deep to Edwards who managed to get one foot down inside the line. The Browns didn’t even challenge the call, leading one CBS analyst to say, “Cleveland is asleep at the switch.â€
I agree. Okay, the season is lost, but this is the time to experiment with creative play-calling. Why not set up the flea-flicker? How about a fast-paced, no-huddle, shot-gun format? What do the 4-9 Browns have to lose?
If the Browns are gun shy about playing inexperienced pro quarterbacks, why not place an ad in the classifieds of NFL city newspapers:
“Wanted: NFL quarterback. Must have experience scoring from the Red Zone. Please email Randy.”
Hmmm…. I wonder what Vinny Testarverde is doing these days.
This is going to be ridiculously short as I am headed out of the house right now to go watch the Browns-Titans game, but i just caught on ESPN.com that the Browns are looking at potentially bringing in Marty Schottenheimer to coach the team, should Romeo Crennel be relieved of his duties.
Here is the story. I’ll have more to discuss about this when I get home.
UPDATE: Instead of giving me own thoughts on this issue, I will let lifelong Browns fan Ryan Russell provide his thoughts, via a text message he sent me last night:
“Marty was my favorite coach ever. Trick plays, bitches. He was head coach the last time we were favored to with the AFC, and he made KC and San Diego into programs, if only for a moment. F–k that “big game” bullshit, Marty is older, wiser, and overdue for a dynasty.”
Sounds good to me. Even the most optimistic Romeo Crennel fan would have to now concede that not only will Romeo be gone next year, but that it will be a justified move. When the Dolphins were searching for a coach, and ultimately chose Cam “Camer” Cameron, I wanted them to grab Marty Schottenheimer. He is a tough, no-nonsense, old school coach would will fit in perfectly coming back to the AFC North.
Loading ...As one very proud Browns fan told me yesterday, “We have talent, we just someone to coach it up.” Amen brother. Shh…don’t tell the guys over at www.cowher09.com, but I almost want Marty more than I want Bill Cowher. Marty doesn’t carry his longtime association with the Steelers, we wouldn’t have to listed to Steelers fan BS if and when we get to the top of the AFC North, and I think there would be a little extra motivation for Marty Schottenheimer to finish what he started in Cleveland.
No one knows if Marty Schottenheimer is interested in coaching the Browns, but I think his name should definitely be added to the short list if he is.
What are your initial thoughts of Marty Schottenheimer to the Browns?
