Ever since the New York Jets announced yesterday that they were releasing Brett Favre, speculation has been running rampant on the Internet that the move was paving the way for yet another return to the NFL by Brett Favre.

Well guess what? Favre is back, and he’s bringing another NFL icon with him: John Madden, who announced his own retirement from broadcasting just a few weeks ago. (Picture of Brett Favre and John Madden to the left courtesy of The Sporting Blog.)

According to a press release draft secretly and illegally obtained by Midwest Sports Fans, Brett Favre and John Madden have scheduled a joint press conference to announce their return to the NFL.

Below is the draft copy of the press release, which MSF obtained by hacking into the computer of R.V. Cook, the brother of Brett Favre’s agent Bus Cook.

Favreland, MS – April 29, 2009 – The most important man in the history of American sports is returning to the league he made famous.

Brett Favre, recently named one of the 10 Most Important Men in the History of Civilization by In His Own Head Magazine, has decided to play one more year of football before forcing post-Favre purgatory on the NFL and its fans. And in a testament to His greatness, Favre has also convinced John Madden to stick around for one more year in the announcing booth.

Despite concerns about his conditioning and arm strength, Favre is already preparing for the upcoming NFL season by playing catch with students at a local elementary school a few hours a week.

Though Favre could not be reached for comment, as he was unable to hear the phone while riding on his tractor, Super Agent Bus Cook was seen dancing through the streets of Favreland singing the words “Another contract, another contract” over and over again to the tune of “La Cucaracha.”

John Madden was available for comment, and had the following to say about the return of Brett Favre:

“If, if, if…if Brett Favre unretires, and then signs with another team, he’ll be an NFL football player again.”

Concerning his own unretirement, Madden has decided that he will only announce games for the team Brett Favre signs with.

According to a source close to John Madden who requested anonymity because he did not actually exist and this entire story is made up, Madden had no interest in continuing to broadcast games for the No Favre League. However, now that Favre is returning, the source said, Madden again recognizes the NFL as a legitimate football league and wants to be there every step of the way for Favre’s true final season.

Brett Favre and John Madden will appear together at a press conference scheduled for Thursday morning at the Metrodome in Minneapolis.

When found for comment, Vikings head coach Brad Childress said there is no correlation between the press conference’s location and the rumors that Brett Favre would join the Vikings. However, immediately after saying that Childress inexplicably said “Sagevaris Frerollinger is our quarterback and we are confident in him moving forward,” before walking away and reciting the beginning of the Lord Favre Prayer under his breath: “Our Favrether, who art in Mississippi, hallowed be thy name…”

The Favre-Madden unretirement press conference will be aired live on ESPN beginning at 10:00 AM and then will be looped without break for the ensuing 48 hours.

So there you have it. Looks like all of the immediate speculation about Favre’s possible return was worthwhile.

I was concerned that the press release might have been made up, so I contacted Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk to see if he’d heard anything. However, his only response was a story about poop and then a suggestion that I buy his Quarterback of the Future book.

I then thought about contacting ESPN to confirm the reports of the press conference being scheduled on their network for tomorrow morning, but then I realized that they would probably just copy the press release straight from MSF without attributing credit to us. So screw them.

Undeterred, I called up Al Michaels, John Madden’s former broadcast partner on Sunday Night Football, and asked him if he believed this miraculously unexpected story. Michaels said he hadn’t heard anything specific, but then after thinking about it for a moment said, “Do I believe in miracles? Yes.”

So perhaps it really is true: Favre and Madden returning to the NFL together.

For some reason all I can think about now is the final scene from one of my favorite movies of all time, Adaptation:

Chime in with your thoughts:

What is your initial thought after reading that Brett Favre and John Madden will be returning to the NFL together?

• Halelujah, I now have a reason to follow the NFL again.
• Same as you: "So Happy Together" by The Turtles.
• That this is the dumbest blog post in the history of the sports blogosphere.
• That I too believe in miracles.
• That this post, while a complete fabrication, is actually within the realm of realistic possibility.

View Results

 Loading ...