by Jerod Morris
This morning while sitting on the throne and taking care of business (I ate a huge meal at Chili’s
last night…fyi) I read something in the Sporting News that made me want grab the plunger and plunge the wooden handle into my eye socket: Curtis Painter, senior quarterback at Purdue, has an official Heisman Trophy campaign.
What? Really?
The only reason I tell you that I was near a toilet while reading this story is that my first reaction should have been to dump the entire magazine into the crapper and flush immediately. Unfortunately, as if passing a car wreck on the side of the road, I simply could not resist the urge to read on.
Apparently, Purdue has invested money in creating DVDs and calendars entitled “Painting a Masterpiece†that promote Curtis Painter’s storied career at Purdue University. It includes all of his big game performances, clutch TD passes against top-ranked teams, and the leadership qualities he has displayed in leading Purdue to Big Ten titles and BCS appearances.
If you did not get smacked in the face with the sarcasm of that last statement, you’re a moron. If that were actually true, Purdue promoting Painter’s big game performances, it would be a pretty short DVD. The only one “painting a masterpiece†in this story is me while I was taking the Browns to the Super Bowl as I was reading. [Read more...]
