I agree with Drew Magary: I’ll also wear shorts whenever I damn well please

I don’t really have any comment on this rant by Drew Magary at Deadspin today, mainly because he says everything exactly how I’d say it – just with slightly more vulgar (honest) language.

So I’ll just post my favorite excerpt, give you the link, and be on my way.

For NORMAL men, there are issues like swamp-ass that we have to deal with every day, and shorts help alleviate that problem. Not all the way. Sometimes you’re sitting in your car and you can feel the sweat pooling up in your ass because your ass is trapped between your body and the scorching hot leather interior and God that’s an awful moment. But at least your legs aren’t dying, because you were smart enough to wear shorts.

Today’s Best: Jennifer Love Hewitt Breaks It Off, Drew Magary Breaks It Down, and a Rapping Milwaukee Brewers Fan Breaks Your Ears

man-turtle

Welcome to Today’s Best by MSF. This is our daily rundown of links, laughs, and lovely ladies that will help you get through your work day.

In today’s edition, Jennifer Love Hewitt gives me hope with news of her latest breakup, Drew Magary breaks down the lesson that this year’s graduates really need to learn, Brandon Phillips flashes some slick leather, and a Milwaukee Brewers fan decides to rap about his love for the Brew Crew…but fails miserably (or spectacularly, depending on your perspective).

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LOTD: Why The Pittsburgh Steelers and Their Fans Suck

Pittsburgh Steelers Suck - steelers fan - why your team sucks series by Drew Magary

[Editor's note: This post is dedicated to Ryan Russell and Nick Gerlach.]

Hands down on the best running series in the sports blogosphere is Drew Magary’s incomparable Why Your Team sucks series at Deadspin. No, it is not the kind of material that I would ever forward to my mom or dad to read…but that is precisely what makes it so sublime.

Here is the description that opens up every one of these posts, to give you an idea of their purpose: “Some people are fans of the [insert team name]. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the [insert team name]. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.”

Today, Drew finished off the series by regaling Deadspin readers with funny, sophomoric, and expletive-filled prose describing the many ways why the Pittsburgh Steelers, their fans, and their city unequivocally suck.

Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and it is today’s link of the day.

Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers — (Drew Magary via Deadspin)

6. The Steel Curtain is the worst metaphor ever. They’re curtains. They either open in the center, or they can be drawn upwards to allow you to pass through. That is the function of a curtain. It doesn’t matter what material it’s made from: steel, adamantium, chiffon. ALL CURTAINS ARE EASILY PENETRATED SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE DESIGNED THAT WAY. Call it the Steel Wall. Or the Steel Monolith. Call it something that connotes impenetrability. A curtain intimidates no one…

And then there is this, from the smorgasboard of write-in comments included at the end of each Why Your Team Sucks post. This guy is definitely a Browns fan:

Dave V.:

So many Pittsburgh fans are from Ohio, and they are the biggest bandwagon fans in the world. These troglodytes have never even been to Pennsylvania, and yet they adorn their overweight, uneducated bodies with gaudy yellow and black, and call themselves true Steeler fans.

Also published today where the Why Your Team Sucks posts for the Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns. Both of these are equally, if not moreso, hilarious as well as surprisingly insightful.

And that we have that out of the way, onto the rest of today’s links.

Sports:

Non-Sports:

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* – Hilariously-named “Randy Beefsmith” photo credit: The Sports Hernia