Ohio State, Notre Dame Make GQ List of America’s Douchiest Colleges

Earlier today, KVB tried to convince everyone that Ohio State and its 102,329-person capacity stadium is the best football stadium in the Big Ten. Well guess what? GQ thinks that KVB, Kirk Herbstreit, and the rest of their Buckeye brethren are douches.

In fact, in its list of the 25 Douchiest Colleges in America, Ohio State came in at #19, right between other notable instidouchions of higher learning Morehouse (#20) and Boston U. (#18).  

And wouldn’t you know it, the tagline for Buckeye douchiness according to GQ is “The Excessive-School-Pride-Douche.” GQ also says:

Affectations: Dressing for class each morning as if you were the offensive-line coach; writing prison letters to Maurice Clarett.
Overheard at Buckeye career-building workshop: ”You can put ‘Won a national championship’ on a résumé, right?” 
Most likely to: Suffocate a hapless Boilermakers fan with a giant foam Number One after offhand comment about how the marching band’s “Script Ohio” wasn’t all that impressive.
Honorable-mention excessive-school-pride institutions: Duke, Michigan, Texas, Penn State, Yeshiva University.

For the record — and this should surprise no one — Indiana did not make list.  Purdue, however, somehow escaped GQ’s wrath.  How about the “Wears-Plaid-Every-Day-Douche”…that would have worked.

Other notables on the douchy college list:

• #25 Virginia
• #24 Texas
• #17 Chicago
• #16 USC
• #15 Notre Dame
• #14 Arizona State
• #13 Georgia
• #12 Phoenix
• #10 Colorado
• #4 Harvard
• #3 Princeton
• #2 Duke
• #1 Brown

* – Kirk Herbstreit photo credit: Year 2

Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk Joins Sports Fans Everywhere in Calling Jay Mariotti a Douche Bag

What a weekend, and I mean that in the best possible way.

First, on Friday, Midwest Sports Fans obliterated its previous high for visits in a day on Friday with just over 12,000. Today, we’re on pace for well over 5,000 visits. Huge thanks go out to Deadspin, MLB Trade Rumors, and everyone else who linked to us yesterday. Plus, I have to thank the great writers I’m fortunate enough to work with here at MSF for creating such good content. (Although, based on some of the comments, I have failed in my duties as editor. My apologies…sometimes I have to sacrifice meticulousness to get posts up in the middle of the busy workday. I’ll pay more attention from here on out…)

But, even as excited as the facts of the previous paragraph have made me, my excitement reached a whole new level when I checked out Pro Football Talk just a minute ago.

Apparently, well according to an Internet report (*gasp*) anyway, Jay Mariotti is…

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

…aww hell, you already know: a douche bag.

That’s right, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk has joined the chorus of sports fans, and pretty much every other human on Earth other than than Jay Mariotti’s mom, who thinks that Jay Mariotti is a douche bag. Here is an excerpt:

Now we’ve really seen it all.

Jay Mariotti is one of the more recent writers to jump from the slowly-but-surely sinking ship that is the newspaper industry. Mariotti now writes columns for FanHouse, which started as a fan-driven megablog that no one really read all that much and has evolved into a higher-quality operation..that we’re not really sure whether anyone reads.

So Mariotti, whom a lot of people regard as a douchebag, apparently has brought that douchebag newspaper guy attitude to the Internet.

You will have to head over to Pro Football Talk to read more, but suffice it to say that my sarcastic use of the phrase Internet report above was an homage to to Florio’s post about King Douche himself.

The other great part about Florio calling Mariotti out is that it gives me an excuse to post this photo again, taken from Jay Mariotti’s mom’s basement the day he started blogging for FanHouse:

Looks like I might have some competition now for Google searches on the phrase “Jay Mariotti douche bag.” Bring it on Florio. I can share the front page.

Jay Mariotti Posts First Column at FanHouse – Lots of Hype, and Much of it Negative

Ladies and gentleman of the blogosphere, today was a very sad day in the sports world. No, nobody famous passed away and no superstars suffered horrible injuries (at least, not yet — and hopefully neither of these things happens the rest of tonight or I really will start to consider myself a jinx). And no, there were no new stories of performance enhancing drugs or athletes running afoul with the law.

Nope, the misery inflicted upon the sports world today was actually worse than what the hypothetical sum of all of the aforementioned catastrophes combined. And you probably already know what I am talking: Jay Mariotti posted his first column at FanHouse.

I discussed this a few days back when Deadspin broke the news that Jay Mariotti had signed up to be a “columnist” at FanHouse. I had a little fun with Photoshop, sent out a bunch of tips so I would have other people to commiserate with, and mentally prepared myself for being part of a blogosphere that new includes Jay Mariotti.

And then I waited for the first vitriolic, back-stabbing, contradictory, and nonsensical article from America’s most hated sportswriter. And, as to be expected, Jay did not disappoint. Check out Deadspin’s summary of the first Jay Mariotti column at FanHouse, and feel free to follow the link they provide to view the column for yourself.

I refuse to link you to the Mariotti column, as it is my goal to never be the linking source for one referral to the new Mariotti blog. Ozzie Guillen and Hawk Harrelson would be proud of me for this; and while I realize that there are many people who view Ozzie and Hawk in the same light as Mariotti, I respectfully and strongly disagree. Perhaps my die-hard love for the Chicago White Sox clouds objective judgment, but that is the last caveat you will get from me. I don’t like Jay Mariotti, I never have, and I know that millions of sports fans across America (including and especially these guys) agree with me and that we all have very sound and rational reasons for our feelings about Jay Mariotti.

I almost feel like I’m wasting my time and your time writing any more about Jay Mariotti’s first column at FanHouse. So I will just leave you with an image that pretty sums up the reputation that Jay Mariotti has earned over his many years of being an incendiary and ridiculous clown of a sports writer.

The image above is a screen capture taken earlier today of the front page of BallHype. Anyone who frequents BallHype, as I do, knows that very rarely do posts get hyped down on BallHype. Typically, if someone dislikes or does not care about a post, it is just ignored. And as you can see from the vast majority of posts listed on the front page today, this trend held true.

Until, of course, you reached the BallHype entry for the first Jay Mariotti column at FanHouse.

Look at the way at the bottom of the image and you will notice an entry with a drop shadow behind it and a frightening picture of a smiling turd beside it. Then look at the stats: 20 hype-ups, and 8 hype-downs. 8! I do not recall ever seeing more than two hype-downs on a single post. Incredibly, I was actually surprised that Mariotti’s post had not received more hype-downs than it did.

Anyway, the weather is cold and gloomy here in Dallas, with near-freezing temperatures and frozen rain in the forecast for the evening. The meteorologists are blaming an “arctic front” or some BS like that. I blame Jay Mariotti.

Thank you for commiserating with me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an article to go hype-down.

(Update: Just checked a few hours after posting this and the BallHype entry about Jay Mariotti’s first FanHouse post is now at 10 hype-downs. Congratulations on your triumphant return to sports writing Jay!)

Jay Mariotti Joins Fanhouse as Blogger and Sports Fans Collectively Weep

Earlier today I saw news posted on Deadspin that I had been dreading for some time now: Jay Mariotti has returned to the sports world as he has now joined FanHouse as a blogger. Unfortunately for all of us, Jay Mariotti has a national voice again, and the sports world is far worse off for it.

And apparently Jay Mariotti has already retreated to his mom’s basement in his underwear to write his first post for FanHouse:

(Photo Art by Midwest Sports Fans)

You may remember that back when Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times, I joined the chorus of sports fans basically telling Jay not let the door him in the ass on the way out of Chicago. Famed movie critic Roger Ebert actually said this specifically.

Our posts about Jay Mariotti provided me with the accomplishment that I take the most pride in during Midwest Sports Fans’ five months of existence: if you google “Jay Mariotti douche bag”, Midwest Sports Fans is the #1 hit. No matter what else we ever achieve here at MSF, it is quite possible that nothing will top that.

I have to run, but I do plan to add more to this post later. The irony of Jay Mariotti joining FanHouse and becoming a member of the blogging community to which I just recently joined, as well as the dread of Jay Mariotti having a national voice again, simply begs for more exposition.

Until then, take part in the poll and give us your thoughts on Jay Mariotti’s douchebaggery:

Am I being too harsh by calling Jay Mariotti a douche bag?

• No
• You are not being harsh enough!
• Yes

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And I’m back.

In the specific interest of completely piling on Jay Mariotti, let’s take a look at some of the memorable blog posts that have been dedicated to Chicago’s worst ever sports writer.

First off, how about the official announcement from Chicago Sun-Times Editor in Chief Michael Cooke when Mariotti announced his resignation from the Sun-Times. The announcement includes this little gem, proving that Jay Mariotti had endeared himself to his former colleagues about as much as he did to sports fans nationwide:

We wish Jay well and will miss him — not personally, of course — but in the sense of noticing he is no longer here, at least for a few days.

Sounds they were really broken up about Jay’s departure.

And how about this amazing 2005 Jay Mariotti Year in Review, written by Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune. Here are a few of the highlights, taken verbatim from Mariotti’s column during the White Sox drive to the 2005 World Series title:

April 7th – (The Sox are) Winning Lucky. Groovy as Sox life seems right now, let me assure you that this is no formula for a division title.

April 23rd – Guillen is only confirming what his critics said: He’s too nuts, off the wall and out of control.

May 15th – (The Sox) have the sweetest rotation in the sport ….And while I’m not about to predict they’ll be the first local team in 187 collective seasons to win a World Series, they are built to last deep into September.

June 7th – I can safely say the Sox won’t win a World Series as long as (Jerry Reinsdorf) owns them.

June 24th – Guillen’s feistiness has a magical effect on the Sox.

June 30th – Williams insists the Sox don’t need major roster surgery, but I couldn’t disagree more.

August 17th – You might be under the influence of Hawk Harrelson, but for non-homers who analyze baseball at face value, the Sox are vulnerable because their attack lacks punch.

September 1st – Who is Geoff Blum, anyway?

September 18th – If there is any sense of mercy, the White Sox will be blacked out the rest of the season so a terminally cursed city needn’t witness The Mother of All Collapses.

September 20th – Other cities host the World Series. Chicago hosts Choke Job Theater.

September 27th – Just why are the Sox playing for October when they clearly don ‘ t belong there?

October 4th – I’ve been trying to tell out-of-towners that Guillen has been a terrific manager.

October 21st – They’ve won with the kind of smart, unselfish, high-character, pitching-and-defense charm that defies everything we’ve seen from baseball in recent seasons….The Sox are about pure baseball.

October 27th – What they did, thanks to the feisty leadership of Guillen and foresight of Williams, was write a new blueprint on how baseball might be played in the post-steroids era.

Is your head spinning yet from all of the contradictions? And from all of the horribly erroneous predictions and comments? And seriously, these few excerpts don’t even do the entire post justice. Here is the link again, go read it: Jay Mariotti 2005 Year in Review.

And how about Jay Mariotti on Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith? You guessed it. More blowharding and more contradictions. And once again we have Eric Zorn, my new personal hero, to thank for pointing it out:

All I know is, a man named Lovie cannot coach the world-famous Chicago Bears …Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti, Jan. 14, 2004

Lovie Smith, racking up Coach of the Year votes by the week…Sun-Time columnist Jay Mariotti, November 14, 2005

Honestly, I could probably do this all night long and never get bored. I realize that I have made some pretty strong statements and been proven wrong numerous times. However, unlike Dr. Douchebaggery himself, I usually point out my mistakes and take responsibility for them. Jay Mariotti simply stands in defiant opposition of any critics, wafting in the sweet (at least to him) smell of his putrid, gaseous hot air.

So, congratulations to FanHouse for bringing in Jay Mariotti. I’m sure he will draw a lot of traffic simply because of his name and fame, and his willingness to say anything at any time, without any hint of shame when his thoughts, predictions, and diatribes are proven to be horribly wrong or off base.

I wonder how the guys over at Jay the Joke feel about this?

Jay Mariotti – The Curse of the Douche Bag for the Chicago White Sox

by Jerod Morris

As I was writing my playoff scenario post this morning, and thinking about how poorly the White Sox have played in September, it got me thinking: is Jay Mariotti the reason?

You have to understand, I hate Jay Mariotti. He is the definition of a douche bag and I was ecstatic when he left the Sun-Times, so much so that I thought the city of Chicago should have thrown a parade in celebration of such a momentous occasion of civic good fortune. But did Jay Mariotti leave one last flaming bag of dog shit on the doorstep of U.S. Cellular Field before leaving the Windy City?

What the hell am I talking about? Well, look at the numbers:

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Is Michael Phelps Really a Douche Bag?

posted by KVB

www.MichaelPhelpsIsADoucheBag.com

Somebody did it. I voted “no” personally (results when i posted this; 20 yes, 3 no), but click above if you want to place your vote. It’s not vote or die, but it is fun. Also I believe other So-and-so-isadouchebag.com sites need to start now because of this and create a trend.

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Sun-Times Article Slams Credibility of Jay Mariotti

by KVB

Good riddance is the sentiment across the board from writers, bloggers, players, coaches, and front offices in good ole Chi-town. Like we need to keep running our mouths about one of the stupidest and egotistical writers in my lifetime. But I thought an article in the Sun-Times from his former colleagues was very interesting, if not just pure true journalism, which was something Jay made the Sun-TImes Sports section lack.

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Chicago Celebrates Resignation of Jay Mariotti

<<<FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE>>>

Chicago Celebrates Resignation of Jay Mariotti

The city of Chicago has announced that it will hold a parade in celebration of Jay Mariotti’s departure from the Chicago Sun-Times. Parade sponsors include the White Sox, Cubs, Bulls, Bears, and all citizens of Chicago.

Chicago, IL – Word broke late last night that notorious Chicago sportswriter Jay Mariotti, a future first ballot inductee into the Turd Hall of Shame, was resigning from his post as Sports Blowhard at the Chicago Sun-Times. Unfortunately Jay the Joke, as he is often referred, made no mention of giving up his seat at the Roundtable of Nonsense otherwise known as ESPN’s Around the Horn.

According to longtime Chicago sports fan Jevin Morriline, today’s announcement was “an act of divine intervention proving the unyielding benevolence of God.” It appears as if Morriline is not alone in sharing such a feeling

The city of Chicago, led by Mayor Ozzie Guillen and Secretary of Ducksnort Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, have announced that plans are being developed for a city-wide parade to celebrate the departure of Jay Mariotti.

The proposed route for the parade would begin at U.S. Cellular Field and end a few blocks North of City Hall. It is the same route the 2005 Chicago White Sox went on when they won a World Series that Jay Mariotti never thought was possible.

The following is an official statement made by Mayor Ozzie Guillen and released to Midwest Sports Fans this afternoon:

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