That’s how long it has been since the Cubs last won the World Series back in 1908.

Sure, you might say that the 103rd season hasn’t even started yet and that I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. I say it looks like Cubs fans – at least one steaming Wrigley turd in particular – have already given up on 2011.

How else do you explain this?

Image courtesy of Matt Sebek of Joe Sports Fan (with a hat tip to today’s Hot Clicks), one of the best St. Louis sports fan sites out there. (I also got to know Matt a bit in New York for the Blogger Fantasy Football League draft and he’s a good dude. Follow him on Twitter.)

The picture above is from Opening Day in St. Louis where, ironically, the Cardinals weren’t even playing the Cubs. Yet for whatever reason the guy above decided to be a jackwagon and wear an Albert Pujols Cubs jersey.

This is wrong and pathetic on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin.

First of all, despite whatever premature whispers were uttered during Spring Training about Pujols testing the free agent market and the Cubs planning to bid for his services, there is still a whole season between now and then. The guy isn’t even a free agent yet. In fact, Pujols is still supposedly your arch enemy if you’re a Cubs fan.

So a) Pujols isn’t even eligible yet to be thought of in another team’s colors; and b) how can you put the best player from your arch rival on your team’s jersey? That’s sacrilege. It’s also the mentality of a pathetic loser.

Which brings me to my next obvious point about the Cubs and their fans.

Clearly, Joe Jorts Fans in the picture above has already given up on 2011. What other explanation is there for going to your rival’s park on opening day while wearing a jersey of your team with their best player on it? If that’s not a white flag screaming “My team sucks and I know it” then I’m not quite sure what is.

But look, who can blame this guy or any Cubs fan for having a pessimistic mindset heading into another long summer? You can’t. I’d just at least think he and the other bums could wait until their team is officially out of it, sometime around mid-June most likely, before turning their attention towards next year. Guess not.

Here, this sums it up:

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The two two teams met a couple of weekends ago, with the White Sox taking two out of three in Wrigley. Since that series, the White Sox have not lost, stringing together nine straight wins and moving to three games over .500. The Cubs, on the other hand, have continued their century long trend of sucking by going 4-5 to move to eight games under .500.

It is in times like these when Cubs fans resort to their most trusted source of solace: the barenaked naked asses of other men.

Really Cubs fans. Sometimes you just make it too easy.

The following video starts out with a typically drunken version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and then follows our bleacher bum heroes into the restroom where they gawk at and take pictures of the suddenly infamous Pants Down Piss Guy.

And the soundtrack for this gratuitous display of man love is, of course, “Go Cubs Go”.

Seriously, KVB and I couldn’t have even made up this up at our drunkest.

Video: Cubs Fans Admire Pants Down Piss Guy

(hat tip to Deadspin for posting the video earlier today.)

For the record, yes I did notice that during Pants Down Piss Guy’s trip to Jacobs Field is when we got the intrusive camera angle ostensibly searching for a shot of his exposed package. No, this did not surprise me. Luckily, they were as successful in this unfortunate endeavor as the Indians are trying to win baseball games. I think we’ve all seen quite enough of PDPG.

I don’t really have anything else to say about this video. Like I said, sometimes it’s just too easy. At this point, the pathetic Cubs and their fans have simply become caricatures of themselves, reinforcing long-standing stereotypes more and more with each passing pathetic year.

One thing I would love to see: Lou Piniella’s reaction to someone showing him this video (or Ozzie Guillen’s, for that matter). I’m guessing it would not go anything like the video below. The video above doesn’t seem like something Sweet Lou would be taking responsibility for.

Actually, I think his tone would be a little closer to this:

Good luck this weekend Cubbies. You’re going to need it. I have a feeling we’ll be hearing a lot of this today, Saturday, and Sunday:

As you know, I could probably type for days and days making derogatory comments about this North Sider, but I think in this case I’ll just let the visual evidence speak for itself.

Behold, one lovable loser and is lovably lame haircut:

Allow me, if you will, to direct your attention to a post from earlier this week that included a grading scale I believe is appropriate for this post.

10 Mariottis.

Actually, all kidding and Cubs hate aside, I do have to echo what was said over at Blogfines:

I can’t decide how I feel about this still, but I at least salute the boy for having the cojones to sport this hairdo.

I certainly have decided how I feel about it – the kid looks like an absolute fool – but that doesn’t mean I don’t admire him for it.

I’m sure that if some young White Sox fanatic carved a Sox logo into his head I would be trumpeting his greatness to all six of you who are reading this. So I must at least be somewhat consistent and give this Cubs fan some props for making a pretty definitive statement about his favorite team.

I just hope he shows up on the South Side during the Interleague series before his hair grows out…

As with the White Sox championship back in the Fall of ’05, the Blackhawks winning it all is extra special because of the prodigious cavern of time and seasons in between this title and the franchise’s last.

But that is how things go in Chicago. Teams win a title, then wait a long, long time before winning another. Case in point: the Bulls in ’94 and ’95. They went an entire two years without a 3-peat! It was truly a trying time for Chicagoans.

Okay…so maybe the Bulls are a bad example.

We all know who the big, pathetic elephant in the room is whenever someone mentions the words “Chicago” and “title drought” in the same sentence.

Now that the White Sox and Blackhawks have ended their droughts, the question is: will the Cubs be next? Or will another shorter Chicago sports drought end first?

Let’s analyze Chicago’s professional sports teams in order of shortest current title drought to longest and, on a scale of 1-10 Michael Jordans, assess their chances of being the next Chicago team to win it all.

Chicago Blackhawks

Current title drought: 12 hours

Why they’ll be next:

It’s hard to argue that the team that just won the Stanley Cup isn’t well positioned to do it again next year. This is a team with some young stars that obviously proved they were ready to make the step to champion this year. Why not next year too?

Why they’ll be last:

Defending a title is always more difficult than winning one (or so they say). We can’t just assume the Blackhawks will win it again next year or the year after that. This is a franchise that just went almost an entire half century without winning one remember.

And look at what happened to the White Sox after 2005. Everyone thought they were primed to repeat in ’06, they got off to a great start, and then BAM, reality set in. Their pitchers’ arms fell off in the second half of the season, the bottom fell out in ’07, and now just five years later the White Sox are on the verge of trading the last vestiges of ’05 – Mark Buehrle, AJ Pierzynski, Bobby Jenks, Paul Konerko – to rebuild.

Sorry to pee in your punchbowl there Blackhawks fans, but you never know what’s right around the corner for a franchise.

Final Verdict:

You have to like the Blackhawks as the closest Chicago team to its next title, especially since they are still gang-humping the Stanley Cup as we speak.

8 Michael Jordans

Chicago White Sox

Current title drought: 5 years (counting 2010, because let’s be honest, the White Sox are going nowhere this year)

Why they’ll be next:

Speaking of the White Sox, this probably isn’t the best time to be talking about the team’s World Series chances. A lot of us had high hopes coming into the season, but those have been dashed by 2+ terrible months of baseball in which the AL Central’s expected best starting rotation has sucked beyond belief.

With vets like Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko aging and probably on their way out the door, plus a lot of money tied up in the pitiful Jake Peavy and resurgent though untrustworthy Alex Rios, plus the struggles of guys like Gordon Beckham, Carlos Quentin, and Gavin Floyd, plus a depleted Minor League system…well, things don’t exactly look all that bright on the South Side.

So let’s just skip to the next section. I can’t think of any compelling reason why the White Sox will be Chicago’s next champion, other than the randomness of baseball.

Why they’ll be last:

Read the previous section. Can you tell I’m not a real optimistic White Sox fan right now?

Final Verdict:

The White Sox have a lot of work to do to get themselves back into contention, but the reality of baseball is that if the White Sox veteran pitchers can return to form next year, if they can add a strong bat or two, and if Ozzie Guillen can push the right buttons to build some momentum, anything is possible. So while things don’t look that great right now, things can change and come out of nowhere in baseball.

And since Michael Jordan once played for the White Sox, I’m giving the Good Guys one extra MJ.

3 Michael Jordans

Chicago Bulls

Current title drought: 12 years

Why they’ll be next:

The Bulls have one of the NBA’s up-and-coming stars in point guard Derrick Rose, along with the kind of do-it-all glue guy in Joakim Noah that you need to win a title. Obviously they need more pieces, but they have a decent foundation started.

Why they’ll be last:

There is no telling what the recently announced decision to bring in the alliterative power of Tom Thibodeau’s defensive wizardry will mean. He has never been a head coach at the NBA level, and wasn’t that one of the criticisms of Vinny Del Negro? It’s possible that the Bulls may have hired a lemon and that they’ll continue to tread water in the Eastern Conference.

Final Verdict:

Some people think T.T. was brought in because it would help curry favor with LeBron James (the two share an agent). If so, and if the Bulls can snag LeBron, then they immediately vault to the front of the Chicago pack. Right now it is still too early to tell, so I have to take a middle-of-the-road view of the Bulls’ chances.

5 Michael Jordans

Chicago Bears

Current title drought: 25 years

Why they’ll be next:

The NFL, like MLB, is a league where quick turnarounds can happen, where teams can come out of nowhere to make surprise playoff runs. Bears fans must hope that is the case this year, because I don’t think many people are expecting a lot out of the Bears this year.

Still, they did add Julius Peppers and Chester Taylor (weakening conference foes in the process), they have a coach who has taken a team to a Super Bowl, and they have a quarterback who at least has the physical skills to be among the league’s elite. And in the absence of a historically dominant D, you aren’t winning a Super Bowl without an elite QB. If Cutler and Martz can mesh well, the Bears could surprise in a pretty wide open NFC.

Why they’ll be last:

Well, this season needs to go well. If it doesn’t, Lovie Smith will likely be gone (undoubtedly taking Mike Martz with him), confidence in Jay Cutler will be waning, and the entire direction of the franchise will be up in the air. Stability typically wins championships in the NFL. The Bears are holding onto it tenuously right now. A bad 2010 season, however, and it all gets “blowed up” (to quote Emmitt Smith), which could set the Bears back 3-5 years.

Final Verdict:

The thin ice the Bears are walking on, plus the chance of LeBron going to Chicago, means that the Bears have to be behind the Bulls. The fact that the White Sox at least have guys on their roster with World Series title winning experience, while the Bears have a QB in Cutler who has never won at any level, also means that I cannot in good conscience rank the Bears over the White Sox. I’ll call it a draw.

3 Michael Jordans

Chicago Cubs

Current title drought: 102 years

Why they’ll be next:

Because the Red Sox proved that miracles are possible and curses are made to be broken.

Because even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Because the law of averages has to work out in their favor at some point, right?

Choose any trite, loosely related cliche you want to make yourselves feel better Cubs fans. Really. I won’t judge. I promise.

Why they’ll be last:

102 years of being losers is a difficult tradition to overcome. Sure, the White Sox did it, but that’s because the power of Steve Perry compelled us. Who the hell is going to supply enough karma to overcome the Cubs’ drought? Not even Culture Club could provide enough.

Final Verdict:

The Cubs organization is in about as poor a shape top to bottom as the White Sox. The sad thing is, both teams are in the top 10 in baseball in payroll. That’s not good. But at least the White Sox are hanging onto the final shards of a championship squad. The Cubs are hanging onto…what, exactly?

The rebuilding process will have to start soon, thus ending one era of losing on the North Side so that another can begin.

Sorry Cubs, but you don’t get measured in MJ’s. I can’t associate his image with so much losing. But your consolation prize is 10 Mariottis…plus, of course, another title-less season.

Yes, unfortunately for this poor girl, who sums up the experience of being a Cubs fan in the iconic image below, the Blackhawks’ victory last night simply means that the Cubs are now even further removed from a title than the rest of the franchises in the Windy City.

And, as usual, there is little hope on the horizon.

Congrats to the Blackhawks and their fans. Whose turn do you think it will be next?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

After years and years of disappointment and despair, happiness and joy finally reigned down on a forlorn franchise and its fans.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, after nearly a full decade without a World Series championship, New York Yankees fans finally awoke from their unbearable nightmare to fulfill their dreams of World Series euphoria.

I mean, look at the picture of this little boy. He is perhaps seven or eight or nine years old. Do you realize that until last night, this deprived young soul had never experienced a World Series championship?

His parents, his grandparents, his cousins, and any friends born in 2000 or before all had known a world in which the New York Yankees had been champions. This little boy, however, was forced to trudge through the first decade of his life in a purgatory usually reserved only for natives of Cleveland or the North Side of Chicago.

But now the world is right and this little Yankees fan, along with Yankees fans across the country, finally have a temporary reprieve from their suffering.

One fan base that certainly is happy for the Yankees are fans of the Chicago Cubs. In fact, in the aftermath of last night’s 7-3 Game Six victory over the Phillies, I spoke with 100-year old Cubs fan Wrigman Bartley to get his perspective on the Yankees winning again.

“Go f&$k yourself with your stupid questions, you dirty piece of White Sox scum,” he politely responded when I asked him what was going through his mind watching Derek Jeter celebrate his 5th World Series crown. “Those jerks in New York have now won 27 World Series titles and I’ve lived for a cotton-picking century and not experienced one.

“Even you and your pathetic White Sox got one in 2005. It’s unfair, it’s unjust, and it make me want to puke.”

He then immediately fell asleep as it was well past his bed time.

As my dad (a lifetime Yankees fan) texted me last night, “Everything is back to normal. The Yankees are World Series Champs.”

I suppose he is right.

It’s simply a fact of life that men like Wrigman Bartley cannot tell even their great-great-grandkids about the time they saw the Cubs win the World Series. But damnit, if a 9-year old Yankees fan has to suffer the injustice of entering 3rd grade or 4th grade without a World Series, the earth may as well just stop spinning on its axis.

Yes, all is truly now right with the world.

The Yankees are back on top, and it hasn’t even taken 24 hours for the rest of the nation to be sick of it.

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* – Yankees kid photo credit: KenjiBaseball via Flickr

* – Cubs fan photo credit: Katrina Wittkamp/Aurora Select via AARP.org

[Note: For clarity's sake, the Cubs fan pictured above is named Richard Savage, and you can read about him in this AARP profile. There is no "Wrigman Bartley"...I made him up simply for the sake of taking a gratuitous dig at Cubs fans, which any longtime reader of MSF knows is my favorite pastime.  The picture fit perfectly. Just didn't want anyone to be confused or for there to be stories in 48 hours with Richard Savage calling me an idiot blogger living in my mother's basement. Not that such a thing has ever happened before, but you get my drift.]

Here is one of them, via Bloomberg (with a hat tip to The Big Lead):

Tribune Co., the bankrupt newspaper publisher, is seeking court permission to pay as much as $66 million in bonuses to its managers based on operating cash flow predicted to be the lowest in at least 10 years.

While you’re at it Tribune Co., why not throw a few extra dollars Alfonso Soriano’s way. As long as we’re rewarding subpar performance, seems like he should be at the top of the list.

According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Rams majority owners Chip Rosenbloom and Lucia Rodriguez are looking for buyers for the team. This is not much of a surprise since they have been open to offers after inheriting the team after their mother and long time owner Georgia Frontiere died in January of 2008. And as the columnist Bernie Miklasz reported, Goldman Sachs (one of the strongest financial companies even during Wall Street’s sour months and best last name ever) is now leading the charge to find the highest bidder.

I checked my checking account this morning and I am a wee bit short of their last Forbes value report ($979 million). But the thing about finding the best offer to buy the 60 percent majority from Rosenbloom and Rodriguez is that keeping the team in St. Louis is no longer a priority. It was priority when Rosenbloom himself first floated the “open to offers” idea to only St. Louis based investors. But G-Sachs nullifies that because “IT’S ALL ABOUT MONEY! GOD DAMN MONEY!” as coach Pete Bell said in Blue Chips.

I have been a fan of the Rams since they were in Los Angeles and now in St. Louis, so I don’t really care if they move cities. As long as they don’t move to a random place that I hate (i.e. Ann Arbor, Chicago’s yuppie North side, Celebration Florida, or any where in Tennessee) while changing the team nickname and colors. I mean how could I even convince myself to still be a fan at that point? If I could get someone at G-Sachs to invest my checking account in the stock market and multiply it by 979 million, I would choose LA (yes, I‘m a double stack and frosty away from an overdraft fee). This also got me thinking what random possibilities are there?

Los Angeles Rams – This is the best-case scenario if you ask me. I know LA isn’t “random” but a Hollywood big wig buying the team majority would be. Imagine Jack Nicholson owning the team and living out of a tinted window luxury box. A sex tape would surely surface on the Internet and on DVD before Week 3 and he could get his return on the investment before week 17. “Viagra Stadium” would also help his investment and help the possibilities of said sex tape. Yes, I would still be a fan if they changed their name to the L.A. 4-Hour Boners. There are some hilarious possibilities of things to give out to the first 10,000 fans at the door, but lets move on.

London Rams – The NFL has leaked interest in putting a team over seas and scheduling the one game a year there has added to this interest. That would definitely open the door to Simon Cowell being owner/head coach. The pro is the funniest post-game tirades since Jim Mora got the boot from Indianapolis. The con is the nightmare that Ryan Seacrest would be saturating himself into NFL Sundays. Never mind, Fox already did that. The con would actually be Amy Winehouse would shag the whole team. This would birth the most herpes infested locker room ever and make the Cleveland Browns staph infection problem look healthy.

North Chicago Lovable Losers – This is the worst-case scenario and I would NOT be a fan. Though Carlos Zambrano could be an awesome Ray Lewis style LB with that “mean streak” everyone talks about. If the team were made up of all Cubs players they would have to forfeit all their games coinciding with baseball season but at least it would be guaranteed they could start their season before October. With an early bye week they would only start 0-3 at the very worst. Playing on Wrigley Field would save the owner money; it would be reason number 4,807 why I would adopt a new favorite NFL team, and one more reason for the yuppies to get hammered drunk on the rooftops.

Las Vegas Rams – The NFL could steal the NBA’s random idea to put a team in Vegas, baby, so why not? How slutty hot would the cheerleaders be? The field goal uprights would save money on stripper poles for them right? So many questions would be answered week one at halftime and depending on your personal interests, the entertainment would never get old. And never get televised for that matter. I could see horse track style betting vendors outside the stadium making it the best place to tailgate in the NFL…EVER. Our very own BetOnline writer could sponsor the stadium as well. Not that Las Vegas needs any help but this would add another great attraction to the city. I myself would like to see the Reno 911! actors serve as stadium security, in character. The over under on them accidentally shooting a fan, player, or themselves during a game would be the second home game. I say under.

Obviously at this point the Rams moving out of St. Louis is a larger possibility than them staying or else a St. Louis investor (Budweiser) would have already made a significant offer. But maybe this will bring them to the table now that there is no longer the stipulation that a buyer needs to keep the team in town. Either way, I like the possible scenarios. Except the North Chicago scenario of course.