In this week’s “I’ll Tell You This” I jump into the realm of the Sports Rumor Mill. Take a look and brew up some comments or rumors of your own!

1. Tony Dungy to Return to Coaching?

Recent rumors have placed Tony Dungy back at the helm of the struggling Tampa Bay Buccaneers as early as next season. Tampa Bay is 0-5, and has shown no signs of life this season, and its coach, Raheem Morris, is no doubt on the hot seat.

There seemingly will be a change in Tampa in the next couple of years, if not before.

I’ll Tell You This:

I love Tony Dungy, and while I hated to see him leave Indianapolis, I felt that it was the best thing for him and his family.

I have been very impressed with Dungy’s studio reporting, and he and Rodney Harrison make a great duo on NBC’s Football in America.

However, I have mixed emotions on his return, especially this soon.

That being said, I believe that if he is to come back to football, Tampa Bay is the place for him to go. It will be tough for him to build a team, but what a great way for him to prove that Tampa should have never let him go.

2. Other Coaching Rumors in the NFL

Several teams will be looking to replace their head coaches this year after very dismal seasons.

It is most likely safe to say that Jeff Fisher’s job in Tennessee is safe for at least one more season.

However John Fox (Carolina), Wade Phillips (Dallas), Norv Turner (San Diego), Tom Cable (Raiders), as well as a few others may not be so fortunate.

I’ll Tell You This:

I am going to make some bold predictions for this offseason.

Bill Cowher, the chin himself, will return to football at the helm of Carolina. His grit-and-spit coaching style is perfect for the struggling Panthers.

Mike Shannahan will end up replacing Wade Phillips in Dallas. What better coach to handle someone like Jerry Jones on a regular basis. There is talent in Dallas (although Romo is terrible in my opinion), and Shannahan will expose that talent.

My boldest prediction is that Norv Turner will be fired from the Chargers and replaced next season by former Seahawks and Packers coach Mike Holmgren. Holmgren has said on TV that he loves the style of football that the Chargers play, and there is no doubt that he would be a great fit in San Diego.

As for Oakland, I understand that there will be a reality show on MTV called “Who Wants to Punch an Assistant”. They are accepting applications right now. Previous work experience only requires a pulse, and knowing the difference between a football and a hamburger.

As long as Al Davis is in the picture this team is doomed to failure.

3. Gruden. Chuckie. NCAA.

Three words that a lot of NFL fans would have never put in a sentence together may now become a reality.

The main rumor circulating is that Charlie Weis’ job does not rest on the success of his Fighting Irish, but on the decision of John Gruden to come to Notre Dame.

However, even more rumors have recently surfaced placing Gruden in Louisville.

I’ll Tell You This:

As a fan of Golden Domers myself, the very thought of Gruden coming to Notre Dame excites me beyond belief.

Although Louisville would be a good fit for Gruden, he has said that it has always been his dream to coach the Fighting Irish.

Gruden would also be great at handling the pressure that comes with the job in South Bend, Indiana, much better than Charlie Weis has thus far.

4. NFL Trade Rumors

With the NFL Trade Deadline fast approaching this coming Tuesday, there are Trade rumors on the wire that may or may not be valid, I will revue what I find as the most interesting two.

Only five weeks after being named the starting QB of the Browns by Eric Mangini, Brady Quinn is now on the trading block.

While Quinn laughs off the rumors, possible destinations have included Oakland, Tampa Bay, and St. Louis.

The other major trade rumor floating around is Terrel Owens and the Bills. The biggest rumor floating is that he may be headed to Chicago to play with Jay Cutler and the Bears.

I’ll Tell You This:

Quinn is not the answer for any of these terrible teams. He has been a let down, and as it hurts me to say since he is a Irish Alum, he is quickly falling into the Ryan Leaf bust category.

Obviously, Buffalo and their terrible 1-4 record is looking into their crystal ball, and seeing that a T.O. blow up is inevitable at this time. Chicago would be a great fit as it would give Cutler the chance to throw the deep ball.

That being said, T.O. is a gamble anywhere he goes, and will likely destroy any locker room that is not completely controlled. Owens needs Parcells….perhaps a trade to Miami?

5. You Tell Me This:

In this week’s edition of “You Tell Me This” I want to hear from you guys about any rumors in any sports that you may know of, and perhaps if there are any spins on the rumors I have posted!

That’s all for this week kids!

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So I hate to say this but I told you so.

Scott Pioli, the newest member to the Chiefs organization, made it official two weeks ago when he fired Herm Edwards.

Word immediately spread that they were talking to none other than Mike Shanahan, the former head coach of the Denver Broncos. I said in my last article that Mike Shanahan, with his expertise in the running game, would make a great fit for the Chiefs. However, they are having problems getting the deal signed, sealed, and delivered, so I don’t want to be disappointed if that doesn’t work out.

What are their other options?

Todd Haley — He is the offensive coordinator of the Arizona Cardinals who have found themselves in Super bowl XLIII. He’s a young and fiery assistant and has been at the helm of one of the NFL’s most high-powered offenses since 2007. Haley has learned from the best, working under Bill Parcells in Dallas for two seasons. The Chiefs are in need of a fresh start, and Haley is right out of the oven. Seeming inexperienced compared to the rest of the candidates, Haley has received recognition because of Arizona’ s recent run. His passion and emotion could be just the thing for the young Chiefs.

Clancy Pendergast — Maybe a better choice than Haley due to his experience and defensive mindset. While most fans do not recognize the Cardinals a strong defensive team, Pendergast improved their defense from 26th to 12th in his first year (2004) and improved it to 8th overall in 2005. Recently, their defense has shown a tremendous ability to show up in crucial sports throughout the season and into the playoffs. Pendergast’s specialty seems to be his ability to develop a strong defensive line, showcased by his development of Bertrand Berry and Darnell Dockett into Pro Bowlers, which has fit in very nicely with the Chiefs’ young, but very talented, defensive line.

Clandy Pendergast’s experience began in 1995 when he came into the league with the Houston Oilers, but his recognition started with the Dallas Cowboys in 1996. In his 6+ seasons with the ‘Boys, Pendergast was a defensive assistant working with both the secondary and linebackers and is credited with turning safety Roy Williams in to a perennial Pro Bowler. While most are hot on Haley, Pendergast just might be the real treasure on that Arizona staff.

But what if Pioli wants to go in the direction of established head coaches to steer the Chiefs in the right direction? Here are a few possible names, some more likely than others.

Jon Gruden is an obvious choice after being let go this by the Bucceneers on January 16th. He is known for his offensive focus, which helped them get a 12-5 record and a Super Bowl title in his first year with Tampa. Arguably, he took Super Bowl ready team — cooked and baked by Tony Dungy and Gruden just took them out of the oven.

Gruden is considered a safe choice, because he is a “big-name” in the NFL. But I don’t think he is the spark that would ignite enough change for the Chiefs. His ex-Buc’s players don’t like him — he’s apparently a “scumbag” — and even the fans influenced his recent firing. He may have a Super Bowl ring on his finger, but the Bucs turned into a mediocre team on his watch, and the Chiefs are not looking to get worse.

Bill Cowher has expressed some interest in wanting to stay retired for another season, but he would be a perfect fit for the position. Cowher is the face of a traditional football coach, literally. The Chiefs are a similar franchise to the Steelers in terms of history, tradition, and work ethic, and Cowher would make a seemless transition. Cowher’s emotion and excitement would give the Chiefs a much needed reputation makeover and return the edge and grit of the vaunted Chiefs teams of the past.

Dan Reeves- One of the greatest head coaches of all-time has shown interest in returning as a coordinator with the 49ers. Maybe he wants a bigger challenge with more cap room.

Speaking of traditional coaches, how about Mike Holmgren? While most believe he wants to take some time to enjoy retirement, Holgrem might get the itch to come back to the Midwest. He is excellent at mentoring young quarterbacks, which would be exponentially beneficial to Brody Croyle, Tyler Thigpen, or a potential young draft pick (if they choose to go that route….more on that in the coming weeks.)

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Candice Crawford is a Featured Author for Midwest Sports Fans and regularly provides her unique perspective into the sports world in her column “From the Sideline.” A native of Dallas, Texas, Candice will graduate from the University of Missouri in May of 2009 with a degree in journalism. You can email Candice with questions or comments about her “From the Sideline” features at candice@midwestsportsfans.com.

First, TMZ broke the story (which I found at Deadspin) that Charles Barkely was arrested on suspicion of DUI last evening. According to the TMZ report, Barkley was arrested at a DUI checkpoint by the Gilbert County Police in Arizona and has his blood tested at the scene. He was reportedly released a short time later and took a taxi home.

No word yet on whether or Charles Barkley is claiming his was pulled over because of his race. And I realize that is probably an unnecessary cheap shot, but it does give me a chance to link you to our article from a week’s ago when Barkley accused Auburn of not hiring Turner Gill because he is black; an opinion with which I agreed. In fact, from the looks of the picture at TMZ, Barkley seemed pretty cooperative…and intoxicated.

The other story I found interesting was that not only has Bill Cowher turned down the New York Jets’ offer to become their head coach, he did so in large part because he did not want to coach Brett Favre.

According to a New York Post story that I found at SI.com’s FanNation, Bill Cowher did not want to coach Brett Favre and wanted assurances from the Jets that Favre would not be the quarterback in 2009. Cowher also reportedly wanted to bring in his own personnel people. Without assurances that these two things would happen, talks between Cowher and the Jets never moved past the preliminary stage.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back in a few hours with any updates on the Cleveland Browns coaching search. Randy Lerner is apparently set to interview both Scott Pioli and Eric Mangini. And once again I will reiterate to Randy Lerner: Say no to Mangini!

According to report posted less than an hour ago by Mary Kay Cabot of the Plain-Dealer, Randy Lerner said today that Bill Cowher told him on Saturday night that he wasn’t interested in becoming the head coach of the Cleveland Browns.

“Speculation for his replacement had been centered on Cowher for several weeks, but Lerner said Monday that he met with Cowher on Saturday night and that Cowher said he would not return to coaching in 2009 and asked Lerner to take him off the Browns list of candidates.

Cowher told Lerner that he was comfortable with his lifestyle in North Carolina at this time.”

Lerner has reportedly already asked for permission to speak with Scott Pioli, the Executive Vice President of the New England Patriots, whose availability was made more immediate by the Patriots’ failure to make the playoffs despite 11 wins.

Also included in the Cabot report is something that made me feel like puking.

Apparently he “appeared interested” when told that the New York Jets had fired Eric Mangini. I did not realize this, but Mangini once worked for the Browns. And Mangini famously worked for Scott Pioli when coaching under Bill Belichick with the New England Patriots.

Why did this make me feel like puking? Because I don’t like Eric Mangini. For someone who has done very little at the head coaching level in the NFL, Mangini seems to have a monstrous ego. And I’m sorry, but after four years of Romeo Crennel I want to see some fire on the sidelines, not Magini’s constant looks of disbelief and displeasure, as if every call he makes is perfect and it is always the players’ fault for screwing things up.

Please Randy Lerner, do not bring the Mangina to Cleveland.

As discussed in yesterday’s post, there appear to be a wealth of qualified NFL coordinators that Randy Lerner is interested in as the future coach of the Browns. That list includes:

• Steven Spagnuolo of the New York Giants
• Jim Schwartz of the Tennessee Titans
• Jason Garrett of the Dallas Cowboys (another PLEASE NO for me)
• Rex Ryan of the Baltimore Ravens
• Josh McDaniels of the New England Patriots

A lot will obviously depend on who Lerner hires to make the GM decisions. If that is Scott Pioli, you would have to think that Mangini and McDaniels would have a prime opportunity to land the head job with Cleveland.

I have to admit, I am pretty disappointed that Bill Cowher has turned down the Browns offer. There is obviously no more proven coach available than Bill Cowher, and his fire and intensity could have been just what the doctor ordered for a talented Browns roster that oftentimes seems to lack the killer instinct to make the big plays when necessary.

If there is anything separating the Browns from the hated Steelers, it is that: a killer instinct. Just having Bill Cowher couldn’t turn Brandon McDonald into Troy Polamalu or D’Qwell Jackson into James Harrison, or even DA and Brady Quinn into Ben Roethlisberger. But there is no doubt that Bill Cowher would have brought credibility and hope to Cleveland more than any other possible candidate.

And after a 4-12 season that shattered so many preseason hopes for Browns fans, hope and optimism is something we need right now.

It is up to Randy Lerner to somehow find a way to turn lemons into lemonade and give Browns fans something more than platitudes like “there’s always next year” to cope with the horror of 2008.

Unfortunately, Bill Cowher will not be part of the solution.

This past weekend, rumors began to circulate that the Cleveland Browns are interested in bringing Marty Schottenheimer back to be their head coach in 2009. Earlier this season, rumors began to run rampant that the Browns are also interested in former Scottenheimer assistant and Steelers head coach Bill Cowher.

(Update 12/10 8:00am: ESPN’s John Clayton is reporting this morning that he thinks the Browns will make an offer to Bill Cowher, but that the Cowher will turn it down. Some people think that Cowher is simply using the Browns to gain leverage and keep his name top of mind for if and when he does want to return to coaching. Midwest Sports Fans writer JRod is reporting who gives a crap. This is the time of year when everyone in the NFL lies about everything — injuries, draft boards, job interest, etc. No one knows what Cowher will do, but there is genuine interest. Good enough for me. Now back to the post.)

No one knows who will be coaching the Cleveland Browns in 2009, or even who will end up interviewing for the job; but what has become unfortunately clear this season is that Romeo Crennel will not be back. I love Romeo Crennel, and I know that his players love him as well; and I wish that he was the right man for the job. But it is hard to come up with any type of rationale or reason for why he should continue as the Browns head coach.

So with that being said, I have decided to stack Bill Cowher and Marty Schottenheimer up next to eachother to see which coach would be the better choice for the Browns, using 11 carefully selected categories that are all extremely important indicators of their potential for success in Cleveland.

Here we go…

Place of Birth:

Marty Schottenheimer was born in Canonsburgh, PA. Bill Cowher was born in Crafton, PA.

Advantage: Push – to hell with Pennsylvania. This is the Browns we’re talking about.

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College:

Marty Schottenheimer went to school at Pitt. Bill Cowher went to NC State.

Advantage: Bill Cowher – at least he didn’t go to…ugh…Pittsburgh. Guilt by association for Schottenheimer.

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Professional Football Playing Career:

Marty Schottenheimer was a seventh round draft pick of Buffalo Bills, then in the AFL. He played four seasons with the Bills, including their AFL Championship team in 1965 when we made the AFL All-Star Team. He also played two seasons with the Boston Patriots and was then traded twice in the 1971 offseason before retiring.

Bill Cowher signed with the Eagles as a free agent in 1979. In 1980, he signed with the Browns, where he played from 1980-1982. He was then traded back to the Eagles and played there from 1983-1984.

Advantage: Push – Schottenheimer had more success, but it was before the merger and Cowher played for the Browns.

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Regular Season Head Coaching Record:

Marty Schottenheimer has been the head coach for four teams: the Browns, the Chiefs, the Redskins, and the Chargers. His combined W/L record is 200-126-1, which is good for a .613 winning percentage.

Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team: the Pittsburgh Steelers. His regular season record during his Steelers tenure was 149-90, which is good for a .623 winning percentage.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

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Postseason Head Coaching Record:

Marty Schottenheimer has a putrid 5-13 postseason record, which is only a .278 winning percentage. He has never reached a Super Bowl. He did coach in 3 AFC Championship games, and twice with the Browns — and we all remember how those turned out.

Bill Cowher has a rather sterling 12-9 postseason record and has one Super Bowl title in two appearances. He has also coached in 7 AFC Championship games.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

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Adaptability:

Marty Schottenheimer has at least a .500 record for each of the four teams that he has coached for. If you take out his 8-8 tenure in Washington, Schottenheimer’s worst performance was in San Diego, where he went 47-33 (.588). Marty Schottenheimer has proven that no matter what team he coaches for, on either coast, in either conference, and no matter what the situation is when he gets there, he will turn that franchise into a consistent playoff contender.

Bill Cowher has been the head coach for one team, in one city, and for only one owner. He was superb as the coach of the Steelers, but we have no other history to go on to project his ability to adapt to a new circumstance.

Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer

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Funniest Photoshopped Picture in first five pages of Google Image Search:

This picture of Marty Schottenheimer seems to suggest that he needs or takes Ritalin. The Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is shoddy at best:

(Here is the original source: http://theobgcommunique.blog.ca/2006/11/04/week_9_obg_nfl_picks~1296345)

This picture of Bill Cowher is completely ridiculous, makes no sense, and while the Photoshop work (not done by Midwest Sports Fans) is better, it is overall far, far funnier than the picture above.

(Here is the original source: http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1510865429079286066OVCnvA)

Advantage: Bill Cowher

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Best Angry Face:

Marty Schottenheimer can certainly get angry with the best of them, but Bill Cowher has the most famous angry face of all NFL coaches this side of Jon Gruden.

Advantage: Bill Cowher

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Dorkiest Picture available online:

In this photo, Bill Cowher has a grin on his face so cheesy it would make this guy cream in his pants:

(This photo is from http://www.montheyrhinos.com.)

Marty Schottenheimer, on the other hand, looks like a high school chemisty teacher with damaged retinas who is counting down the minutes until he can get back to his Bunsen burners and graduated cylinders.

(This image is from Getty Images. Here is the original source.)

Advantage: Push

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Fashion Sense:

Bill Cowher’s choice of a sweater for the press conference in which he announced his resignation as coach of the Steelers is legendary. No one was quite sure if Cowher was trying to be a white Bill Cosby or if a Jackson Pollack painting and a Picasso painting were making love around his torso.

(This photo courtesy of Pittsburghlive.com.)

The following picture of Marty Schottenheimer proves that Marty is not quite Versace either. The bright white shoes and above-the-knee shorts are bad enough, but the hat tops it off. We’ll give him a pass on the hat under the assumption that he may have sensitive to the sun in his advancing age.

Advantage: Push – and who cares about their fashion sense? They’d be coaching in Cleveland for goodness sake.

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Coaching Tree:

Marty Schottenheimer’s coaching tree includes Bill Cowher, Herm Edwards, Tony Dungy, Mike McCarthy, Wade Phillips, and Cam Cameron, among others. Former Cowher assistants such as Jim Haslett, Mike Mularkey, Ken Whisenhunt, and Dick LeBeau have all been NFL head coaches of varying success.

Advantage: Marty Schottenheimer – he gave Bill Cowher his first job, so if NFL coaching was a
multi-level marketing organization, all of Cowher’s tree would count for Schottenheimer.

And that’s it.

The final tally is 2 for Marty Schottenheimer, 5 for Bill Cowher, and 4 categories for which neither has distinct advantage.

So, clearly, Bill Cowher is the better choice for the Browns.

In all seriousness, I think he is. In the categories that matter: regular season record and postseason success, Bill Cowher has Marty Schottenheimer beat. The biggest discrepancy is in the postseason. Bill Cowher has proven that he can lead teams deep into the playoffs, and that he can get them over the hump. Marty Schottenheimer, while one of the most successful regular season coaches of all time, has not proven that he can translate regular season success into Super Bowl appearances or victories.

The only criteria that might give you pause as a Browns fan is the fact that Bill Cowher has never proven he can win outside of Pittsburgh. The Steelers won before he was there, and they are winning now that he is gone. Is it possible that the true reasons for the Steelers success lie with the Rooney family and the Steelers organization, and that Bill Cowher is given too much credit? Marty Schottenheimer has taken three difference franchises to the playoffs and has turned moribund franchises into winners.

While this is reasonable to consider, it simply does not trump Bill Cowher’s consistent success in Pittsburgh. And even though any Browns fan would sever their arm just to taste the playoffs again – and Marty Schottenheimer would undoubtedly be able to deliver at least a playoff appearance – Bill Cowher gives you the potential of going all the way, based on what he has proven capable of in the past.

If the Browns are going to make a change, and they are, then why not go for the one with the highest upside, and the one who is younger and could be around longer? That would be Bill Cowher.

The truth is that Browns fans would have reason for genuine excitement and optimism if either Marty Schottenheimer or Bill Cowher is trolling the sidelines of Cleveland Stadium next year. But I think the optimism would be justifiably higher if Bill Cowher is one that ends up getting the job.

Here is the story. I’ll have more to discuss about this when I get home.

UPDATE: Instead of giving me own thoughts on this issue, I will let lifelong Browns fan Ryan Russell provide his thoughts, via a text message he sent me last night:

“Marty was my favorite coach ever. Trick plays, bitches. He was head coach the last time we were favored to with the AFC, and he made KC and San Diego into programs, if only for a moment. F–k that “big game” bullshit, Marty is older, wiser, and overdue for a dynasty.”

Sounds good to me. Even the most optimistic Romeo Crennel fan would have to now concede that not only will Romeo be gone next year, but that it will be a justified move. When the Dolphins were searching for a coach, and ultimately chose Cam “Camer” Cameron, I wanted them to grab Marty Schottenheimer. He is a tough, no-nonsense, old school coach would will fit in perfectly coming back to the AFC North.

As one very proud Browns fan told me yesterday, “We have talent, we just someone to coach it up.” Amen brother. Shh…don’t tell the guys over at www.cowher09.com, but I almost want Marty more than I want Bill Cowher. Marty doesn’t carry his longtime association with the Steelers, we wouldn’t have to listed to Steelers fan BS if and when we get to the top of the AFC North, and I think there would be a little extra motivation for Marty Schottenheimer to finish what he started in Cleveland.

No one knows if Marty Schottenheimer is interested in coaching the Browns, but I think his name should definitely be added to the short list if he is.

What are your initial thoughts of Marty Schottenheimer to the Browns?

(Update: This post was originally written before the Browns lost to the Colts 10-6. During that game, Derek Anderson went out with what looks a pretty serious knee injury. Unfortunately, the rest of Derek Anderson’s 2008 season appears to be in jeopardy, meaning that Ken Dorsey will likely be playing QB for the Browns for the rest of the season. Unless, of course, they choose one of the other candidates below…)

Word broke last night that Browns QB and Golden Boy Quarterback of the Future Brady Quinn will miss the rest of the 2008 season.

Quinn visited the Fantasy Football Grim Reaper, Dr. James Andrews, only a few days after saying that his injured finger did not affect his performance on Sunday against the Texans. During the visit, further damage was discovered to the finger; and thus, Brady Quinn will sit out the rest of 2008.

Most people assume that Derek Anderson will be taking over on Sunday when the Browns play the Colts in Cleveland. And that is probably correct. But between the Browns’ 4-7 record, the utter incompetence of Braylon Edwards, the overall ineptitude of our offense, the up and down defense, and questionable job status of Romeo Crennel, Rob Chudzinski, and Phil Savage less than a year after contract extensions…well, let’s just say that this year has not exactly gone according to plan.

So, I am going to run down the Top 10 Candidates to Replace Brady Quinn. We’ll be begin with the assumption that Derek Anderson will immediately step into the role of starter, and then this post will probably start unraveling right before your eyes.

Top 10 Candidates to Replace Brady Quinn at QB

1 – Derek Anderson

Positives: He has starting experience, and was a Pro Bowler in 2007. I wonder if he threw any 300s on the circuit last year. Wait – what? Oh. He played in the Pro Bowl. The one with the best players in the NFL. Wow. It seems like so long ago I barely remember. After watching him this season, it was pretty hard to fathom that Derek Anderson went to the Pro Bowl last year.

Negatives: Well, in the section of positives above, I could not contain my frustration and keep it all positive. Not good when we’re talking about the guy that got a 3-year extension in the offseason. (Update: And now, of course, he’s hurt. So Anderson’s out of the mix.)

2 – Ken Dorsey

Positives: He has been in the Cleveland system forever and knows the offense. (Considering how poorly the offense has played this year, I’m not sure if knowing the offense is actually a positive.) He played at the U with Kellen Winslow.

Negatives: I watched him warming up once and was certain that he had a sprained or separated shoulder. No, I was told – he was actually throwing it as hard as he could. (This story is not true, but it could be.) KVB throws like a ten-year old girl, and he just might be able to get it down the field better than Ken Dorsey.

3 – Joshua Cribbs

Positives: Are you kidding me? Because he’s Joshua Frieking Cribbs. There aren’t many players that I will completely absolve from blame for this season’s woes, but Joshua Cribbs is one of them. He played quarterback at Kent State and would allow us to get the ball into the hands of one of our best play-makers each play. Sure, we might not be able to throw all that well, but are we really throwing it that well right now anyway? What do we have to lose?

Negatives: Joshua Cribbs is one of the top special teams players in the NFL. We don’t want him getting tired running for his life as the quarterback and then being unable to cover and return kicks with his usual pizzazz.

4 – Jerome Harrison

Positives: He has been our most dynamic and consistent play-maker on offense this year, despite his limited role. Every time he touches the ball, something good seems to happen. It stands to reason that if you get the ball into the hands of your play-makers more, good things will happen for the offense.

Negatives: Well, he has never played QB before, so that hurts. Sure, Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn have looked like they hadn’t played QB before – but surprisingly they actually had, as recently as 2007! So Jerome’s lack of experience should not work against him.

What may work against him is a little known quirk in the fabric of the universe that only Rob Chudzinski knows about. The entire city of Cleveland is actually lined with dynamite. Every square inch of it. The evil doers who set this up dictated only two things that could trigger detonation, with the assumption being that they will never happen: Jerome Harrison receiving more than 10 touches in a game or the Cleveland Indians winning a World Series. I’m not sure if this is true, but it’s about the only reasonable explanation I can make for the Browns’ aversion to giving the rock to Jerome Harrison more this season – so I’m not ruling it out.

5 – Bill Cowher

Positives: Can you imagine the roar from the Browns crowd? I realize this sounds ridiculous, but think about it: the Browns can’t just install Cowher as their coach right now because they have to comply with the Rooney Rule. However, I can’t think of any rules against signing Bill Cowher to play QB, thus allowing him into the meeting rooms to learn the current system, get to know the players, and begin to change the mentality of this team. You may think this one is ridiculous; I think it makes the most sense of all.

Negatives: He’s old, he has a mustache, and he’s never played quarterback before. If we are going to try out this combination in hopes of actually winning a game, I’d rather go with Tom Selleck or Quint from Jaws. Cowher at QB would obviously be a move for the future and likely result in five straight losses to end the season. If we want to finish the season with dignity, Selleck or Quint could help us get there.

6 – LeBron James

Positives: He is tall, he’s mind-bogglingly athletic, and he played football in high school. Can you imagine a zone-read offense with LeBron James at QB and Jamal Lewis and Jerome Harrison flanking him, with the threat of a reverse to Joshua Cribbs. Seriously, tell me the Browns wouldn’t score more points that way. Plus, as Cleveland comes to the realization that LeBron will not be around in two seasons, the city needs to get creative in coming up with ways to keep him. Sure, he’d have the big market of New York City if he went to the Nets or Knicks – but wouldn’t he become a global icon faster if he was the NBA MVP and a starting NFL QB? Eat that Bo Jackson.

Negatives: He would be playing for the Browns, which would force him to live under the same dark cloud that everyone associated with the franchise has had to live under since 1999 – and for long before that. How long would it be before LeBron got hurt? One of the greatest NBA careers ever could be derailed by the (un)luck of the Browns.

7 – Tim Sofa

Positives: So I heard about this young kid from rural Kentucky who put up ridiculous numbers in HS playing against a bunch of small schools. Then he went to a big conference, played in a spread and threw the ball 70 times a game and continued to put up great numbers, fooling everyone in the process that he was actually a competent QB. Pick him #1!

Negatives: Unfortunately, this guy has zero leadership qualities, a rag arm, and is more fragile than cracked glass. Yeah, never mind about this one. We’ve been here before.

8 – Zack Morris

Positives: The Browns have lost their pretty boy, eye candy for the ladies now that Brady Quinn is down. Derek Anderson just does not seem to have the same cache with the females. The other problem with DA is that he is not cool and calm under pressure. Brady Quinn needs some time to develop, but it appears as if he will be a cool customer with time. Zack Morris, however, is quite possibly the coolest guy ever. The ladies loved him, he was always finding a way out of difficult situations, and he thrived under less than optimal leadership (Mr. Belding). He could be the perfect choice to succeed in a struggling offense for a struggling coach. (Plus, look at that picture of Ken Dorsey above and tell me he wouldn’t be a worthy Screech Powers.)

Negatives: Well, he’s a TV character and not a real person, so that could be a problem. Of course, many of us thought that Brady Quinn was just a commercial actor and ball boy until he actually played in a game this year. Also, Zack Morris is a California kid from Bayside High, so his toughness could be a question mark. But, what many people forget is that the early episodes of Saved by the Bell (with Miss Bliss) actually took place in Indiana. So Zack Morris has Midwestern roots and, ostensibly, toughness. And perhaps if Preppy plays QB for the Browns he could bring A.C. Slater with him. We could use a linebacker.

9 – Sloth from Goonies

Positives: Look, let’s be honest about something here. Browns fans, on the whole, are not the prettiest people in the world. They are hard-working, blue-collar people who are defined more by toughness, loyalty, and grit than razzle-dazzle, sparkle, and face moisturizers. Doesn’t it seem a bit incongruous that Brady Quinn and his leading-man good looks are quarterbacking this franchise? He should be in Miami or Dallas or L.A. Sloth from Goonies, however, just looks like a Browns fan, doesn’t he? And that’s not to say that most Browns fans are ugly. Really, it’s more of a generalization about the majority of people in the Midwest. Hey, I love the Midwest. It’s where I grew up. But I see more “pretty” people in Dallas every day than in a year of time back home. Doesn’t mean I like the people down here any more (quite the contrary, actually) – it just is what it is.

Negatives: First off, while Browns fans in general may not have much in common with Brady Quinn in terms of looks, Sloth would probably be much more comfortable at Heinz Field with the rest of the eye sores that root for the Steelers. Also, I have to question Sloth’s toughness. He was tough and scary at the beginning of the movie, but quickly turned into a softie. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt though, because he helped out the kids and became a hero in the end. Also, he does not appear to be very mobile in the pocket. If he has a decent release, he could be a poor man’s Bernie Kosar, but probably not much more.

10 – Charlie Brown

Positives: First off, his last name. He was born to play football in Cleveland. Secondly, poetic justice. Charlie Brown consistently has the ball yanked out from under him when he runs forward to attempt to kick it, sending him flying up in the air to land on his back with a thud. Sadly, what better metaphor is there for Cleveland Browns football in 2008?

Negatives: I can’t think of any. Let’s add another eponymous superstar to the list of Cleveland greats that is highlighted by Paul and Jim. The legacy can continue with Charlie.

Seriously, at this point, what do we have to lose?

Rumors within the NFL and sports talk stations and blogs are that Cleveland Browns Head Coach Romeo Crennel will get the axe unless the Browns somehow salvage their 2008 season.

And what is more, Romeo Crennel probably knows it.

The whole Bill-Cowher-for-Browns-Coach buzz has been gaining momentum with each Cleveland loss, botched clock, player discipline problems, (i.e. Kellen Winslow outing Phil Savage in Staphgate, Braylon Edwards’ refusal to speak to the media about uncomfortable, uncool things like dropping the football) — and the latest split in team unity voiced by running back Jamal Lewis after the Browns lost 14-point and 13-point leads against Baltimore and Denver.

“This is a man’s game,” Lewis told reporters following the Denver debacle at Cleveland Browns Stadium. “Some people have to check their egos at the door.”

The insinuation by Jamal Lewis that his teammates were quitting on him — and Romeo Crennel — could have been blamed on Jamal’s frustration and embarrasment after the Thursday night Browns-Bronocs game.

But when Joshua Cribbs chimed in with the same allegations of team members packing it in early, and deep, deep sources close to the locker room report that some of the players openly talk back to Crennel, the story of a divisive locker room and that appearance that Crennel could have lost control of his players could mean that the jobs of the entire Browns coaching staff may be in jeopardy next year.

Enter the movement to bring in Bill Cowher, former coach of the Superbow Pittsburgh Steelers — Cleveland’s longtime rival. Cowher’s mug is smiling now, behind a desk at CBS, making a go at being a broadcaster and commentator, but lacking the presence of pacing the sidelines.

Questions as to why Cowher would want to return to 100-hour work weeks to field a new team — and if so, why the Cleveland Browns — will be addressed in my column later this week.

By the way, rumors really began flying about Cowher coming to Cleveland after anonymous sources began phoning radio talk show hosts claiming Cowher bought a house in Strongsville, an upper middle class suburb southwest of Downtown Cleveland.

But Kenny Roda, sports talk jock for ESPN 850AM, WKNR, tried to shed light on the subject a couple of weeks ago when he claimed Cowher was simly investing in Greater Cleveland property to build a llama or alpaca farm. (Can you picture “the Face” in blue jean overalls chasing down a stubborn llama?)

We shall see.

Regardless, General Manager Phil Savage may have sealed his fate with more than just his poor performance in handling the Kellen Winslow and staph infection fiasco; that would just be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

While Phil Savage earned his salary and more in drafting Joe Thomas and finagling for Brady Quinn, first round draft pick Braylon Edwards’ inconsistent play, giant ego and 12 dropped passes in the past nine games has reduced this player’s value.

Another first reound draft pick, Kamerion Wimbley is not getting to quarterbacks, making him a bust.

But perhaps it was the handling of the quarterbacks in 2007 that may have cost the Browns a playoff berth last year and a winning season this year.

Because Brady Quinn held out for more money (his agent is Tom Condon), he arrived late at the 2007 pre-season training camp and was not allowed to compete for the quarterback job that Charlie Frye ultimately won.

We all know how that turned out. And when Derek Anderson began losing his touch when the games began to count, Brady Quinn still stood on the sidelines with his clipboard, getting only eight snaps in one game the entire season.

It became evident from the first snap against Dallas in the home opener that Anderson did not perform well under pressure. Yet, Quinn was stuck with that stupid clipboard to hold until Anderson fell to his knees, then his ass, in disgust after being intercepted multiple times on the road against the Ravens in a game that now looks like a microcosm of the 2008 Browns season.

(Bookmark our Cleveland Browns news page and check back often to stay up-to-date on the latest Cleveland Browns news from around the web.)

[tags]cleveland browns, bill cowher, brady quinn, phil savage, nfl[/tags]

The Cleveland Browns entered the 2008 NFL season with greater expectations than at any other point in the franchise’s second life. After a 10-6 season last year, some bold offseason moves, and the expectation that an explosive offense would be even more explosive with a year of experience together, some fans were even talking about a darkhorse Super Bowl run in 2008.

Unfortunately, a Game 1 trashing at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys was a harbinger of the unrealized expectations that have come to define the Browns in 2008.

Nine games into the season, the Browns sit at 3-6. They are coming off back-to-back 4th quarter collapses in which they gave up double-digit leads at home. Derek Anderson has already been benched. Braylon Edwards can’t catch a cold. Kellen Winslow has been hospitalized and suspended. Joe Jurevicius it out for the season. Donte Stallworth can’t stay healthy. Wait…thank goodness for that last one. At least something has gone as expected this year.

The growing list of 2008 failures for the Cleveland Browns has led to whispers that have morphed into mega-phone shouts for a coaching change to happen sooner rather than later. Romeo Crennel received a contract extension in the offseason after the surprising 2007 success. Unfortunately, 2007 is starting to look more and more like the mirage, as opposed to the norm. Poor clock management, unimaginative play-calling, and a defense that was solidly bend-but-don’t-break but is now breaking, are all problems that get placed directly at the feet of the head coach.

And for many Browns supporters, the solution to everything that ails the Browns is one man: Bill Cowher.

Frustrated fans at Browns Backers meetings are throwing his name around more often. Unsubstantiated rumors have circulated around the Internet that Bill Cowher was buying a home in Strongsville, Ohio — much to delight of Browns fans. And one Browns supporter has purchased and set up www.cowher09.com to further implore the Browns to do whatever it takes to bring the former Steelers coach back to the AFC North.

No one can argue with the success that Bill Cowher had during his time with Pittsburgh. And it is hard to defend the current Browns coaching regime with what we have seen so far this year. I don’t know how seriously Bill Cowher wants to get back into coaching, and I wonder if Browns fans really want to submit themselves to the constant antagonizing from Steelers fans who will say that the Browns could only win when they brought in a Steeler. But I have to admit, thinking about Bill Cowher roaming the sidelines, fuming at the mouth, and showing emotion that has been seen on a Cleveland sideline since Marty Schottenheimer is a pretty exciting flight of fancy.

Will it happen? Who knows. But unless the Browns can pull of a miraculous turnaround for the ages and make the playoffs, the heat on Romeo Crennel will most likely be too much for him to overcome. And then the drumbeat for Bill Cowher will grow to deafening proportions throughout Central Ohio.

Could Bill Cowher be the man to overcome the curse and black cloud that has seemed to hang over the Browns franchise since returning to the NFL? It is impossible to argue that he isn’t more qualified than the coaches currently in place. And at the very least, as with the QB switch to Brady Quinn, the sight of Bill Cowher pacing the sidelines would at least give Browns fans renewed hope that perhaps their beloved team can be a consistent competitor again.

Any Browns fan knows that hope can be fleeting, and can often be replaced by the deflating thud of unrealized potential and unmet expectations. Too often during the Browns reincarnation this has been true. But the new Browns have always had first time head coaches without a winning pedigree. Bill Cowher would bring a resume of success and, it would seem, hope that could be trusted.

Are the dream of Bill Cowher the Brown just that — dreams? Or is it truly a possibility?

Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: when a fan base has more faith in an ex-coach from their hated rival who is currently on TV and not on the sidelines, as opposed to the current coach who recently got a contract extension, something is wrong and hope effectively gone.

Romeo Crennel has proven that he is a good man and a good, championship-level defensive coordinator. Bill Cowher has proven that he is a great, championship-level head coach. Even the most ardent Romeo Crennel-as-head-coach supporter (if there are any left) would have a hard time arguing with that.

As the drumbeat for Bill Cowher grows, only a few questions remain: will Browns’ management be able to argue with it; and will Cowher be able to resist a return to the smash-mouth division he loves so much? My gut feeling is that these questions may be rhetorical and that it’s only a matter of time and detail before the latest incarnation of renewed hope is present on the Browns sideline.

[tags]bill cowher, cleveland browns, nfl[/tags]