This is the second post in Kurt’s epic quest to identify the NFL’s Ultimate Franchise Player. For an explanation of his methodology for choosing each franchise’s ultimate franchise player, and then how you and he will choose the NFL’s Ultimate Franchise Player from that list, click here.

To see all the posts in this series, of which there will be one for every franchise, click here.

During the mid-1960s, the city of Atlanta had become fertile ground for professional sports franchises. A new multi-purpose stadium was going up, and the city had already become successful in getting a Major League Baseball team to move to the Deep South for the first time.

Football would be next.

NBC had just inked a contract to air American Football League games but was not happy about the Denver market being one of the franchises. The Broncos were the weakest link at the time and the network suggested the franchise would be better served in the Atlanta market.

That did not happen, but Atlanta was tentatively awarded an AFL expansion franchise. The NFL had interest in an Atlanta franchise as well. Eventually the city dropped its AFL bid and the Atlanta Falcons were born as an NFL expansion franchise in time for the 1966 season.

With the AFL-NFL merger agreement that came a couple years later, all of this was basically a moot point except that Atlanta became an NFC member as opposed to AFC.

What followed was a generation of mostly below-average football. It has only been recently that the Falcons have enjoyed any sustained success on the field. The Falcons have earned playoff berths in six of the past 14 seasons, but the 2008-11 mini-era under Mike Smith marks the first time Atlanta had done as much as record consecutive winning seasons.

The lack of success is evident in the fact that only one Falcons player who played a significant portion of his career in Atlanta is enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Eric Dickerson and Tommy McDonald both made cameos in the A-T-L at the end of their careers, and there was a rookie quarterback who held a clipboard for Jerry Glanville in 1991 who will soon be in Canton, but he too spent virtually his entire career in other locales.

So there isn’t a particularly deep field to choose from in selecting the Atlanta Falcons’ representative for pro football’s Ultimate Franchise Player, but there is that one Hall of Famer who does stand out and should represent well.

WORTH CONSIDERATION

Jamal Anderson (RB 1994-2001)

Had the best season of any Falcons running back ever, rushing for 1,846 yards and 14 TDs in the A-T-L’s lone Super Bowl year of 1998. Jamal had 410 attempts that year, and then he blew out his knee early the following season, becoming one of the prime reasons the total touches of running backs are more closely monitored today.

Jamal would go on to play one more full season in 2000 but had clearly lost a step by then.

Jesse Tuggle (ILB 1987-2000)

During the 1990s I was involved in some fantasy leagues that included individual defensive players and Tuggle was always a favorite with his perennially high tackle totals.

For the entire decade of the 1990s Tuggle recorded nearly 1,300 tackles, a NFL high for the decade.

DeAngelo Hall (CB 2004-07)

DeAngelo’s career has gone downhill since leaving Atlanta, but when he came into the league he was one of the fastest players in the game. He scored a touchdown via interception or fumble return in each of his four seasons with the Falcons.

Keith Brooking (ILB 1998-2008)

Long before taking his pre-game motivational speeches to Dallas, this local product was selected 12^th overall in the 1998 draft out of Georgia Tech. He was the rock of the Falcons defense for 11 seasons.

One of the leading tacklers in club history, Brooking was a five-time Pro Bowler and a two-time All-Pro selection during his tenure with the Falcons.

Then he moved onto Dallas, where he became more legendary for pregame moments like these than his declining play:

Andre Rison (WR 1990-94)

A.K.A Brock Middlebrook, ‘Bad Moon’ Rison was perfect for the Jerry Glanville era of the early ‘90. He caught 80+ passes in all five seasons with the team, also catching 56 TD passes during that time, including a league-leading 15 in 1993.

Tony Gonzalez (TE 2009-Present)

One of the greatest tight ends ever to play the game, Tony will likely be the second Falcon to spend more than a cup of coffee with the team to eventually be enshrined in Canton. He is ranked #121 on Pro-Football Refercence’s EloRater.  Check back for my Kansas City Chiefs edition of UFP; I have a feeling he will be right smack in the middle of that conversation.

Michael Vick (QB 2001-2006)

He does have the title of most polarizing player in franchise history basically retired. He also has the distinction of becoming the first QB to rush for over 1,000 yards in a season, accomplishing that in his final Atlanta (pre-prison) season of 2006.

Even putting the off-field drama aside, Vick was never able to be a force as a passer in Atlanta like he has in Philadelphia.  Although he has completed 60%+ of his passes the last two seasons with the Eagles, Vick never got above 56.4% as a Falcon.

Scott Case (CB/FS 1984-1994)

More known for his hard-hitting, Case led the league in interceptions with 10 in 1988. He finished his career winning a World Championship with the Cowboys in Super Bowl 30.

John Abraham (DE 2006-Present)

He has recorded 54.5 sacks in his Falcons career and 112 sacks overall, placing him 16^th on the all-time list. His career high was 16.5 sacks recorded in the 2008 season.

William Andrews (RB 1979-83, 1986)

Another local product from the state of Georgia, Andrews burst onto the scene with a 167-yard day in his NFL debut. By his second year, he helped lead the team to its first division championship with 1,764 yards from scrimmage. That would be the first of four consecutive Pro Bowl bids for Andrews, and he would go over 2,000 combined yards the following year.

A devastating knee injury sustained in the 1984 training camp proved to prematurely cut short his career, but he is still widely considered the best back in Atlanta history

Gerald Riggs (RB 1982-88)

Andrews misfortune in ’84 proved to be an opportunity for Gerald Riggs, who wound up rushing for 1,486, 1,719, and 1,327 yards in subsequent seasons. Iin all Riggs had 5,212 combined yards in those three seasons and wound up with 8,188 yards in ten NFL seasons overall.

In his final season with the Washington Redskins, Riggs was utilized strictly as a goal-line back and scored 11 times in the regular season, and six more scores in the Skins’ Super Bowl winning run.

Jeff Van Note (C 1969-86)

One of the most ‘noted’ warriors of the trenches, JVN was drafted in the 11^th round in 1969, and he wound up playing his entire 18-year career in the A-T-L. A five-time Pro Bowl selection, Van Note was named to the franchise’s 25^th anniversary team in 1991 and will no doubt wind up on the 50^th anniversary team as well.

Claude Humphrey (DE 1968-78)

The third overall pick in the 1968 Draft, Humphrey did not disappoint as a pro, eventually compiling 126 ½ sacks in a 14-year career. Humphrey also recorded a team high 14 ½ sacks on the Philadelphia Eagles 1980 NFC Championship team. He also did a cameo on a Dukes of Hazzard episode.

Alfred Jenkins (WR 1975-1983)

After proving himself in a one-year stint with the World Football League, Alfred went on to play all nine NFL seasons in the A-T-L, highlighted by a 1,358 yard, 13 touchdown campaign in 1981.

Michael Turner (RB 2008-present)

One of the biggest workhorse backs currently in the league, Turner has rushed for nearly 5,300 yards in his first four years with the team. He is basically a one-dimensional back who’s not involved in the passing game, which keeps him out of final table consideration.

Roddy White (WR 2005-present)

Named after professional wrestling legend Rowdy Roddy Piper, it’s hard to believe White has already been in the league seven years and compiled at least 1,153 yards in each of the last five seasons, including his last two seasons in which he went over the 100 catch barrier.

THE FINAL TABLE

Mike Kenn (T 1978-94)

It was very hard differentiating between Kenn and fellow lineman Jeff Van Note from the top of his list. Kenn started all 251 games in which he was in uniform for the Falcons, making First Team All-Pro on three occasions. The Pro-Football-Reference EloRater has him checked in at #265.

Tommy Nobis (ILB 1966-76)

Still considered Mr. Falcon by many, he played his entire 11 years in Atlanta following a legendary career at the University of Texas. A member of the NFL’s All-60s team, Nobis once recorded a mind-boggling 296 tackles in a 14-game season.

The only reason Nobis didn’t get more pub during his era was being on a bad team and overshadowed by the likes of Dick Butkus, Ray Nitschke, and other iconic middle linebackers of that era.

Matt Ryan (QB 2008-Present)

You look at his past two years, and the numbers are actually pretty damn good, throwing 57 TD v. just 21 INT’s, which is an outstanding ratio. But winning a playoff game would enhance the entire body of work so much more.

Steve Bartkowski (QB 1975-85)

The University of California actually has a very good lineage of QB’s all-time, including the likes of Bartkowski and Super Joe Roth, who unfortunately came down with terminal cancer during his senior season at Berkeley. They were followed by Rich Campbell, who wound up being a top-six overall pick (but a bust), and to more recent times and Aaron Rodgers (who worked out a bit better for the Packers than Campbell).

Bartkowski is still widely considered the Falcons’ best-ever quarterback, with his best years being 1980 and 1981 when he threw for 61 scores.

Deion Sanders (CB 1989-93)

His successor at Florida St., Terrell Buckley, once brashly proclaimed himself as the modern-day Jim Thorpe. That title is much better suited for Prime Time, who was a cornerback, return man, wide receiver, and even moonlighted in baseball, playing for the Falcons and Braves on the same day (much to the chagrin of Tim McCarver).

Deion wound up playing for five different teams in his career, but he is best remembered as a Falcon and Dallas Cowboy, where he played five years for each.

FINAL VERDICT

I really had to give consideration to the likes of Nobis and Kenn, who played every snap of their careers in Atlanta. But in reality either one would serve as a bid thief in my eventual 64-player tournament.

Meanwhile Deion Sanders checked in at #34 on the NFL Network’s Top 100 countdown, and even though he spent much of his career elsewhere, he still remains today as the most iconic Falcon.

Therefore, my nomination as the Falcons’ Ultimate Franchise Player, and the second automatic bid into the UPF tournament, goes to…

DEION SANDERS

The Saints easily defeated the Lions yesterday, so the winner of this game is heading into Lambeau to take on the 15-1 Packers.

Well, at least the fun will last for a week.

Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons return to the playoffs after being the top seed in the NFC last season at 13-3. They ended up losing to the eventual Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers 48-21. Matt Ryan has led the Falcons to three winning seasons and two playoff berths in his first three seasons, but he has yet to win in the playoffs. Today would be a great time to finally get that first “big” win.

Although Atlanta went 10-6, it is interesting to see how they fared against tougher opponents. They went 1-4 against playoffs teams, with their only win being against Detroit, (losses were against Green Bay, Houston, and New Orleans twice). The last loss against New Orleans turned into a laugher, with the Saints winning 45-16 and Drew Brees breaking Dan Marino’s record for passing yards in a season.

The offense will have an easier time this week, with the Giants owning the 27th ranked defense and allowing 25 points a game on average. Matt Ryan has two threats at the receiver position, with Julio Jones and Roddy White, along with Tony Gonzalez at tight end.

Michael Turner should be able to have a solid game going up against the Giants run defense which allows just over 121 yards a game. Turner has 1,340 yards on the year with 11 touchdowns, and getting him going early will be crucial for the Falcons. His success can set up the passing game, and make the play-calling less predictable.

New York Giants

After being second-tier news behind the Jets for the past few years, the Giants find themselves at the top of the football echelon in New York once again. They took care of business against Dallas last week to win the unusually average NFC East.

The G-men have a major problem that must be at least partially fixed today, and that is their running game. They are ranked dead last in the league with 89.2 yards per game on the ground. Their leading rusher, Ahmad Bradshaw, only has 659 yards on the year while Brandon Jacobs has 571. Injuries have had an impact on the stats, and even with the lack of yards the two have combined for 16 rushing touchdowns on the year.

The weakness in the running game is more than made up for in the passing game, which is ranked fifth in the NFL. Eli Manning fell 67 yards short of 5,000 on the season, and he has two receivers with over 1,000 yards. Victor Cruz leads the team with 1,536 yards and 9 touchdowns, and he has become one of the most popular receivers in the NFL. He should be able to find the end zone and do his rendition of the “salsa” today.

In their last two games, the Giants’ defense has allowed a combined 28 points. These were against the Jets and the Cowboys, which were both essentially must-win games for both teams involved. This shows how the Giants are capable of stepping up to the occasion, and shutting down the opposing offense. The return of Osi Umenyiora has helped, along with the consistent play of Jason Pierre-Paul and Justin Tuck.

Giants-Falcons Prediction

Matt Ryan has not been able to win a big game in his career, and I do not see it happening today. The Giants get to play at home in the stadium that they won in the past two weeks. Eli should be able to make up for the lack of run support, and send his team to a matchup against the Packers.

Giants 31-Falcons 27

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Atlanta Falcons at New York Giants

• Falcons-Giants Date, Time, and TV: Sunday, January 8th at 1:00 on FOX
• Falcons-Giants Announcers: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman
• Falcons-Giants Point Spread: Giants -3
• Falcons-Giants Over-Under: 48.5

Watch the New Orleans Saints (11-3) host the Atlanta Falcons (9-5) to wrap up the last of the Christmas weekend games, and hopefully the holiday lights will not surge all the electrical power from the Superdome like last week at Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

Note that the Saints have secured a spot in the playoffs while the Falcons are still fighting for a Wild Card position. (Click to see the complete NFL playoff scenarios: AFC | NFC)

Let’s take a look at your Monday night entertainment.

The Falcons

The last time Atlanta met the Saints in week 9, they put a pretty good fight falling just three points short of a win. One might blame penalties on the outcome of the last game as the Falcons had 10 penalties for a total of 85 yards.

However, Matt Ryan, errr Matty Ice, is ready to make his mark at the Superdome and take down the Saints on their home turf.

The offense currently ranks 9th in the league for passing yards with 255.8 yards per game. Ryan has 3,698 yards with 26 touchdowns and 12 interceptions. He also has the help of running back Michael Turner (1,129 yds, 4.1 yds/att, 9 touchdowns) and wide receivers Roddy White (1,100 yds, 12.9 yds/rec, 8 touchdowns), Tony Gonzalez (826 yds, 11.2 yds/rec, 7 touchdowns), and Julio Jones (755 yds, 18 yds/rec, 5 touchdowns).

When the Falcons first met the Saints earlier this season, things were a little shaky on the offensive line. Left tackle Will Svitek was making his third start of the year and Joe Hawley was making his second pro start at right guard. The Falcons have improved their pass protection since that game. They have given up 26 sacks, ranking them 9th in the league, but they have given up 74 quarterback hits, ranking them 26th in the league.

The Falcons defense will have the real challenge against Drew Brees’ arm and the stellar Saints offense. While the Falcons have held their opponents to only 96.6 rushing yards per game, making them fourth in the league, they are not as effective at stopping the passing game (17th in the league with 230.6 yards), which is the Saints ultimate scoring weapon.

Getting the pressure on Brees early in the game will be key to keeping the Saints within the Falcons grasp. Defensive end John Abraham leads the team with 8.5 sacks, and outside linebacker Sean Weatherspoon has contributed 4 sacks to the team total of 30.

The Saints

Leading the NFC South, this Saints team is on fire, especially their exceptional offense. Quarterback Drew Brees continues to burn defenses and wow the crowds throwing for 4,780 yards, 37 touchdowns, and 11 interceptions.

The Saints offense is second in the league for points scored (32.1 per game) and leads the league in passing yards with 331.4 yards per game. With receivers like Jimmy Graham (1,171 yds, 13.5 yds/rec, 9 td), Marques Colston (917 yds, 13.9 yds/rec, 5 td), and Lance Moore (574 yds, 11.5 yds/rec, 8 td), they definitely give Brees a hand in lighting up the field.

If Atlanta has a shot at beating the Saints, it’s because the Saints’ defense is not at the same level as their offense. New Orleans has allowed 256.1 passing yards per game (ranking them 28th in the league) and given up 21.9 points per game (16th in the league).

On November 13th, the Saints easily dominated a majority of the game until the end, when the defense allowed Atlanta to march 85 yards in 1:55 and kick a 27-yard field goal to tie it up. Strong safety Roman Harper and defensive end Will Smith have led New Orleans in sacks for the team (Harper with 7.5 and Smith with 6.5).

My Saints-Falcons Prediction

My initial gut was to go with the Saints, hands down, but I don’t think it’s going to be a blow out for them. Atlanta has shown lots of improvement since they beginning of the season, and they even held the Saints to only a three point win last time they met. With the team eager to give itself a chance to win the NFC South crown, there is no holding back for this Atlanta team.

But…

Drew Brees and his offense are on fire. End of story. While the Saints defense may struggle, the Falcons defense is not strong enough to hold back the power of the Saints offense, especially on their home turf.

Final Score: New Orleans Saints: 35 | Atlanta Falcons: 28

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Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints

• Falcons-Saints Date: Monday, December 26 at 8:30 PM on ESPN
• Falcons-Saints Announcers: Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, and Jon Gruden
• Falcons-Saints Point Spread: Saints -6.5
• Falcons-Saints Over-Under Odds: 53

Image source: iSportsWeb

Here is a rundown of the NFC playoff scenarios. (Click here to see the AFC playoff scenarios.)

NFC Playoff Scenarios

Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants

This one is pretty easy.

The Cowboys and Giants play Sunday night. Whichever team wins becomes the NFC East champion and will get a first round home game. Neither team can make the playoffs any other way.

Image credit: Tom Fox/The Dallas Morning News via Wyld About Pro Football

Green Bay Packers

This one is also pretty easy. The 14-1 Packers clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs with their win over the Bears last night.

San Francisco 49ers

The 49ers clinched the NFC West a while ago, so they will host a first round home game at a minimum. They are still alive for a first round bye as well, and in fact are in the driver’s seat.

The 49ers are 12-3, and the Saints already have three losses. Because the 49ers own the tic-breaker with the Saints, all San Fran has to do is beat woeful St. Louis next week to clinch the first round bye and #2 seed in the NFC playoffs. (Or, if New Orleans loses tonight to Atlanta, the 49ers don’t even have to beat St. Louis next week.)

New Orleans Saints

The Saints have a clinched a playoff spot, but they are playing for a lot more than just a chance at the #2 seed when they face Atlanta tonight.

New Orleans hasn’t even yet clinched the NFC South division, nor a first round home game. They can do that tonight if they beat Atlanta. Even if the Saints don’t beat Atlanta tonight, they would still clinch the NFC South and a first round home game by winning their Week 17 game against Carolina or if Atlanta were to lose its Week 17 game to Tampa Bay.

If the Saints win both this week and next week, and San Francisco falls to St. Louis next week, the Saints would lock up the #2 seed in the NFC, a first round bye, and a second round home game.

Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons clinched at least a wild berth last night when Chicago lost to Green Bay. If they beat the Saints tonight, the Falcons maintain a shot at the NFC South title and a first round home game. As mentioned above, Atlanta would need to defeat the Bucs (should be easy) and New Orleans would need to lose to Carolina (not so easy).

Detroit Lions

The Lions clinched a playoff spot with their win over San Diego in Week 16. Because they play in the NFC North with Green Bay, they do not have a shot at anything more than a wild card road game in round one of the playoffs, regardless of what happens in Week 17. All that is still to be determined is who they will play.

NFC Playoff Predictions

Here is how I think the pivotal Week 17 games will go:

• Saints beat Atlanta (Week 16)
• Saints beat Carolina
• Atlanta beats Tampa Bay
• San Francisco beats St. Louis
• Giants beat Cowboys
• Lions beat Packers

This would create the following first round playoff matchups:

• Byes: Packers (14-2), 49ers (13-3)
• #3 Saints (13-3) v #6 Falcons (10-6)
• #4 Giants (9-7) v #5 Lions (11-5)

What do you think will happen? Comment below.

First off, congratulations!

Second, what the hell are you thinking?

Playing fantasy football in Week 17 is the ultimate crapshoot.  Some teams are going all out, others have already packed it in, and which end of that spectrum teams fall on can change throughout the day based on other results.

My best advice is to focus on players whose teams have something to play for.  (Here are the playoff scenarios for the two leagues: AFC | NFC.)

But while I may be judging you for playing in Week 17, I am still willing to help you out with the waiver wire.  By now you know the drill, players listed here are owned in fewer than 50% of Yahoo leagues.

Fantasy Football Week 17 Waiver Wire Pickups: QB

Matt Moore (20%), Miami

The matchup against the Jets is definitely a tough one, but after tossing three TDs against New England, Moore now has eight total TDs in the last four weeks.  Consider him a QB2 based on how well he’s been playing lately, but if you need a desperation play, there are probably better options out there.

Kyle Orton (19%), Kansas City

Orton racked up 300 passing yards against Oakland, and this week he gets a chance to stick it to his old teammates when the Chiefs travel to Denver.  He now has 599 passing yards in his two starts with KC, and the Broncos have given up some big games to opposing QBs.

John Skelton (4%), Arizona

It’s unclear whether Kevin Kolb will start the finale against Seattle, but Skelton rebounded from a disastrous performance in the early going to throw for nearly 300 yards and two scores against Cincinnati.  Over his last three games, he’s averaging 297 passing yards with six TDs.  He’s also thrown six picks, but it’s not like Kolb was lighting it up either.

Joe Webb (1%), Minnesota

With Christian Ponder sustaining a concussion against the Redskins, Webb may be in line to start against the Bears in Week 17.  He tossed two TDs and ran for another in relief of the rookie, and he passed for one TD and ran for another when he played against Detroit in Week 14.  His running ability gives him an added dimension as a fantasy QB, so consider him another QB2 option with some upside.

Fantasy Football Week 17 Waiver Wire Pickups: RB

Toby Gerhart (43%), Minnesota

Gerhart is once again the starter in the Minnesota backfield after Adrian Peterson tore his ACL and MCL.  He ran for 109 yards on just 11 carries against the Redskins, including a 64-yard run in the third quarter.

Photo credit: Jim Mone/AP via MPR News

It was his fifth straight game with double-digit points, and even though the Bears are tough against the run, he’s at least a flex play based on his ability to contribute in the passing game as well.

Kahlil Bell (34%), Chicago

Regardless of his health, it’s tough to see the Bears turning back to Marion Barber given how well Bell has played in recent weeks.  He tallied 108 yards and a TD in Week 15 then followed that up with 121 rushing yards along with four catches for 38 yards against Green Bay.  Much to the chagrin of his owners, Bell narrowly missed scoring on a pair of goal line attempts.

He has been particularly valuable in PPR leagues given his 14 receptions over the last three weeks.  Bell is a solid RB2 against the struggling Vikings this week.

Kendall Hunter (27%), San Francisco

With the 49ers already locked in as the two seed in the NFC, don’t be surprised to see them rest Frank Gore for the playoffs.  If that comes to fruition, Hunter is a solid option against a Rams defense that has been flat out awful against the run.  Hunter ran for 73 yards on 12 carries against Seattle and is also an able receiver out of the backfield.  Consider him a RB2 if the 49ers confirm he’ll get the bulk of the carries.

Isaac Redman (5%), Pittsburgh

Playing him would be a huge gamble, but if the Steelers once again employ a run-heavy attack against Cleveland’s suspect run defense, Redman might find his way into the end zone for a second straight week.

Evan Royster (5%), Washington

Since Roy Helu was hurt, I guess we can’t chalk Royster’s 19-carry, 132-yard effort to yet another Shanahanigan.  That said, the fact that he played so well should earn him the start against Philadelphia in Week 17.  With Shanahan, you really never know, so consider him a flex play…and start him at your own risk.

Chris Ivory (4%), New Orleans

Depending on what the Saints do Monday night, the Saints may not have anything to play for, which could lead to Ivory getting plenty of touches against Carolina.  The Panthers are among the teams who have allowed the most fantasy points to opposing running backs, making Ivory a strong flex option (or maybe more) depending on New Orleans’ situation.

Stevan Ridley (4%), New England

The Patriots need a win to lock up home field advantage in the AFC, and against a Buffalo team that has been shredded on the ground over the latter half of the season, that could be good news for Ridley.  He got the bulk of the work in the second half against Miami and has rushed for at least 60 yards in each of the last two weeks.  Consider him a RB2.

Fantasy Football Week 17 Waiver Wire Pickups: WR

Nate Burleson (43%), Detroit

The Lions locked up a playoff bid, so it’s unclear how much they will play their starters at this point.  With six catches and 83 yards against the Chargers, Burleson now has at least five catches in six of his last seven games and has at least eight fantasy points in five of those contests.  If he plays, he’s a solid start in PPR leagues against a Packers team that has nothing to play for at all.

David Nelson (41%), Buffalo

With New England’s porous pass defense on the schedule, Buffalo wideouts are sure to be hot commodities.  While Stevie Johnson is the best option, Nelson looks like the second choice.  He hauled in six balls for 84 yards in Buffalo’s first matchup with the Pats, so he’s a solid gamble if you’re in a jam.

Demaryius Thomas (41%), Denver

Once again, Thomas led the Broncos in targets, finishing with 76 yards on four receptions.

Photo Credit: Andy Cross, The Denver Post

He now has at least that many yards in each of the last four games.  Thomas will continue to be Tim Tebow’s go-to receiver in a must-win game against the Chiefs, who got burned by a couple big plays against Oakland on Sunday.

Doug Baldwin (32%), Seattle

The Seahawks couldn’t get much going in the passing game, but Baldwin did catch a touchdown and led the team in targets.  He should find more room to operate against the Cardinals, but keep in mind that he’s caught two or fewer passes in three of the last four games.

Darrius Heyward-Bey (31%), Oakland

DHB’s long reception in overtime set up the game-winning field goal for the Raiders.  He finished with 70 yards for the game, and he now has 17 receptions for 303 yards in the last three games.  The Chargers just got torched by the Lions and have nothing to play for, which makes Heyward-Bey a decent WR3 option at worst.

Damian Williams (23%), Tennessee

Williams had a field day against Jacksonville’s secondary, finishing with eight catches for 83 yards.  Houston’s coverage will most certainly be a notch or two above that, but the Texans are also locked into their playoff slot.  The Titans need to win and get some help, so they’ll be playing all their starters throughout, making Williams a potential flex option in deep leagues.

Andre Roberts (3%), Arizona

After catching six passes for 75 yards, Roberts now has at least six receptions and 60 yards in three of his last four games, and he caught a TD in the other one.  With Larry Fitzgerald drawing so much attention from opposing secondaries, Roberts should continue to find room to operate against Seattle this week.

Fantasy Football Week 17 Waiver Wire Pickups: TE

Brent Celek (49%), Philadelphia

Celek caught a TD for the second straight week and has been a relatively consistent contributor over the latter half of the season.  The Eagles finish their disappointing season versus the Redskins, against whom Celek racked up 42 yards and a TD in Week Six.

Jermaine Gresham (47%), Cincinnati

While he had a solid game with five catches and 56 yards against the Cardinals, Gresham and the Bengals close out the season against a Baltimore defense that has shut down opposing tight ends.  He had three catches for 48 yards in their first meeting this season.

Jared Cook (27%), Tennessee

I guess it’s better late than never for Cook, who was picked by many as a sleeper heading into the season.  If his owners held onto him, they have finally been rewarded for their patience with 17 catches and 272 yards over the last two games.  There’s no one hotter at the position, but beware of a Texans defense that has been stingy against opposing TEs.  As I mentioned with Damian Williams though, Houston doesn’t really have anything to play for.

Streaming Defense(s) of the Week

Seattle (45%) at Arizona

The Seahawks have allowed over 17 points just twice over the last seven games, and the Cardinals showed last week just how mistake-prone they can be.

Atlanta (29%) vs. Tampa Bay

Thanks to Chicago’s loss on Christmas, the Falcons are in the playoffs, but if they beat New Orleans on Monday, they still have a chance to win the NFC South.  The Bucs come in losers of nine straight games, and they have scored over 20 points just once over that span while turning the ball over 28 times.  If you look up “playing out the string” in the dictionary, you’ll find Tampa Bay’s team photo.

“I love the NFL, and I need my start/sit advice for Week 13, but I’m just SO pumped for the Big Ten Championship game this weekend that I can’t even think about it!”

You’re in luck!

Click here (or here for a work-friendly page) and comment, “I want tickets!!!!” in order to win FOUR free tickets to the Big game this weekend between Michigan St. and Wisconsin, courtesy of our friends at Verizon.

Seriously…that’s all you have to do.  What have you got to lose? We’re even going to save you time by helping you out with your start em, sit em questions in this post and in the comment section!

Now on to week 13.

A Quick Piece of Advice…One More Time

There is no room left for excuses.  At this point in the season, we have ALL dealt with injuries.  We have ALL battled through our bye weeks.  We have ALL left points on the table.

If I could give you one piece of advice before the stretch run, it would be something I have emphasized all year: listen to expert advice…but trust your gut first.

Again, none of us have the time to really study fantasy football full time.  It is impossible (well, for those of us who have real jobs) to completely keep track of every single player, every matchup, every injury, and every game.  If you don’t have a good read on a player or a matchup, you should definitely consult “the experts.”

However, so much of fantasy football comes back to gut feelings.

If you have a gut feeling that Ryan Grant is going to run all over the Giants this week, and that gut is based on some stats or game play that you have actually seen, go for it!  Even if the expert disagrees, I would rather go down on my own terms.  Believe me, you will hate yourself if Grant goes off and you started Chris Johnson just because that’s what the expert said.

If you are ambivalent and have no opinion, seek counsel…but don’t be afraid to trust your gut on the tough calls.

Last Week’s Picks: 17 for 25 (68 %)

• Hits: Matt Moore, Aaron Rodgers, Cam Newton, Matt Stafford, Carson Palmer, DeAngelo Williams, Chris Johnson, Jonathan Stewart, Roy Helu, Mike Tolbert, KC Running Backs, Percy Harvin, Laurent Robinson, Anquan Boldin, Devin Hester, Jermichael Finley
• Misses:  Josh Freeman, Tim Tebow, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brandon Jacobs, Pierre Garcon (picked the wrong Colt), Mario Manningham, Johnny Knox, Kellen Winslow

Once again, “Start Em” guys are QBs/TEs outside of the Top 12 and RBs/WRs outside of the Top 25. “Sit Em Guys” include QBs/TEs that are in the Top 12 and RBs/WRs that are in the Top 25.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 13: QB

Start Em QB: Tim Tebow

Fantastic matchup against a Minnesota team that has been reeling lately without Adrian Peterson.

Tebow and the Broncos will be playing in the dome up in Minnesota, which means both he AND Von Miller will play even faster.  I expect Tebow to run wild and for Miller and the incredibly fast Broncos’ defense to force several turnovers.

If Tebow gets a few shots with a short field, he should put up a lot of points this week.

Still not convinced?  He’s 21st in points this year…after starting only 6 games. He’s only 11 points behind Jay Cutler.  Tebow is a must-start right now as the fantasy playoffs approach…amazing.

Tim Tebow Fantasy Projections for Week 13: 200 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT; 80 rushing yards, 1 TD.

Other start ‘em QBs for Week Twelve:

• Philly QB – Whether it’s Vick or Young, I think that the Eagles will explode in a game that doesn’t matter.
• Tony Romo – In Arizona, against their atrocious secondary.
• Alex Smith – Enticing matchup against St. Louis in a game that the 49ers want to win big in order to get their mojo back.

Sit Em QB: Matt Ryan

You might be tempted to start Matty Ice this week since Houston will be starting T.J. Yates with Jake Delhomme waiting in the wings.  While it’s true that Atlanta should get more chances than normal, Houston’s defense is one of the top five units in the league, and should make it incredibly tough sledding on Matt Ryan.

If Houston can control clock at all with their fantastic running game, Matt Ryan owners will be in for a long afternoon.

Matt Ryan Week 13 Fantasy Projection: 220 passing yards, 1 TD and 1 INT

Other sit ‘em QBs for Week Twelve:

• Andy Dalton – He’s really good…but so is Pittsburgh’s defense.
• QB’s in the KC/Chi game – LOL…don’t even look at this game.

Jerod’s thoughts:

I’ve been skeptical of Tebow from a fantasy standpoint ever since he took over the starting job, mostly because I worried about him getting pulled. But with a 5-1 record, the playoffs in reach, and Kyle Orton gone, Tebow is safe through the end of the year. And this is a great matchup, even though Minnesota’s strength is against the run. I’d play him.

I agree that Ryan’s potential is a bit muted this week. Loved him last week, lukewarm on him this week.

Tony Romo is a top 5 fantasy QB this week. Start him. With confidence. (Which means, since it’s Romo, that you should expect him to suck. Because wouldn’t that just be the Romo thing to do?)

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 13: RBs

Start Em RB: LeGarrette Blount

Blount is ranked 30th overall among fantasy running backs right now, so that makes him on the cusp of starting nearly every single week.  This week, he’s a must start against Carolina.

In fact, Blount may have the best fantasy week among ALL running backs in week 13.

Carolina’s run defense is so bad they made Donald Brown relevant last week.  Just imagine what someone with actual talent will do against them.

LeGarrette Blount’s Week 13 Projected Stats: 180 rushing yards, 2 TD; 55 receiving yards

Other start ‘em RBs for Week Twelve:

• LeSean McCoy – If he only gets ten rushes this week, we will all light ourselves on fire.
• Chris Johnson – He’s back, and facing the Buffalo defense.  Big week again for CJ2K.
• Denver Broncos….duh.

Sit Em RB: Shonn Greene

I admit that this is a complete hunch.  I try to base nearly all of my predictions on statistical evidence or game play that I have actually seen…but I feel compelled to put Shonn Greene on the bench this week.

First of all, Washington has a pretty decent defense, especially on the ground (13th in yards per attempt). Secondly, I really think that they will try to make Mark Sanchez win two consecutive games.  I really don’t think anyone will be fooled by his 4-TD performance last week.

Washington will force Sanchez to do it again in order for NY to win.  He might.  But Shonn Greene will have another lackluster effort.

Shonn Greene Week 13 Projection: 45 yards rushing

Other sit ‘em RBs for Week Thirteen:

• Rashard Mendenhall – Pitt will have to win this game through the air against the Bengals.
• Detroit Running Backs – On the road in New Orleans…if this game isn’t high scoring, that means that the Saints won big.

Jerod’s thoughts:

Wow, recommending Chris Johnson two straight weeks. I can’t believe it’s true, but it is. He seems safe. (Of course, what I really can’t believe is true is how quickly confidence has been lost in CJ. But such is the case when you have a season like he’s had.)

Be careful sitting Mendenhall. Certainly he hasn’t lived to the billing of a top 5 back (like some idiot analysts predicted before the season started…analysts who will remain nameless to protect our pride here at MSF) but he always has the potential for 80-90 yards and a score. That’s tough to find with a high degree of confidence this late in the season.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 13: WRs

Start Em WR: Antonio Brown

He has been a little hit or miss lately, but I think that he will have a great game against Cincinnati this week.

Brown is an absolute terror from the slot, and Cincinnati will definitely be trying to limit Mendenhall on the ground and Mike Wallace from any big plays.

Watch for Brown to play extremely well.

Antonio Brown fantasy football Week 13 projection: 9 receptions, 120 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em WRs for Week Twelve:

• Laurent Robinson – It seems like Romo picks a new random dude every year to become his go-to guy halfway through the season. As long as Miles Austin is out, expect Robinson to put up some good numbers. (Yes, I copied this from the last two weeks…I still feel the same way, even though Miles Austin could play this week.)
• Eric Decker – If Tebow throws for more yards, and I think he will, Decker will definitely be the number one recipient.
• Vincent Jackson – This game might as well be meaningless for San Diego…so they should win by 60.

Sit Em WR: Dwyane Bowe

The Bears defense is good…and Tyler Palko is almost as good as me.

No…I’m not good at all.

Dwyane Bowe fantasy football Week 13 projection: 3 catches for 45 yards

Other Sit ‘em WRs for Week Thirteen:

• Julio Jones – Bad day for Matt Ryan AND him…Roddy White is the only ATL non-RB I like this week.
• Brandon Lloyd – I don’t know if you have heard, but San Francisco’s defense is really good.

Jerod’s thoughts:

I love Antonio Brown and am always willing to find an excuse to sit Dwayne Bowe, so I concur with those picks.

As for Lloyd, I love the 49ers defense, but I also love #1 WRs who have the trust of their QB. St. Louis will have to throw the ball, which means plenty of targets for Lloyd. Careful sitting him. He’s not a top 10 WR this week, but I think he’s still top 20.

Any #1 receiver against Minnesota is a good play, so Decker gets the nod this week.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 13: TEs

Start Em TE: Greg Olsen

The Tampa defense will do their best to limit Steve Smith this week, and Olsen will reap the benefits.

Greg Olsen fantasy football Week 13 projection: 7 receptions, 80 yards, 1 TD

Sit Em TE: Owen Daniels

A lot of times, young QB’s = good days for Tight Ends.  But boy, is TJ Yates low on the totem pole.  Sure, he may not be Jake Delhomme, but…oh wait.

That’s right.  Jake Delhomme.

I will stop talking right now.

Owen Daniels fantasy football Week 13 projection: 1 reception, 10 yards, 0 TD

Jerod’s Thoughts:

One could also make the case that the young QB (or the old one, if Delhomme sees any action) will rely on his tight end more. Still, I wouldn’t trust any Houston pass catchers this week, and that includes Andre Johnson.

I continue to like Vernon Davis down the stretch, so consider him a top-10 option. Brent Celek is also a guy who is playing well and warrants consideration.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 13: D/ST

Start Em D/ST: Denver Broncos

Who would have thought that by Week 13 Tim Tebow would be a must-start and the Broncos’ defense would also be a must-start? Well, it’s happened. And with Denver’s relentless pass rush and solid secondary facing rookie Christian Ponder with perhaps no Adrian Peterson, the Broncos are a good choice yet again.

Denver Broncos fantasy football Week 13 projection: 14 or fewer points, 4 sacks, 2 turnovers

Other start ‘em D/ST units:

• The Patriots’ D is facing Indy. Start ‘em!
• Atlanta’s defense is a sneaky start this week. Their strength is stopping the run, which is what Houston does well. Surely they’ll be able to contain T.J. Yates. If you think Atlanta can hold Foster and Tate down, they’re worthy of starting.

Sit Em S/ST: Green Bay Packers and New York Giants

The Packers’ D isn’t a terrible option because they do force turnovers, but I expect this game to be high scoring with both quarterbacks putting up very good numbers. There just isn’t a lot of upside here on either side.

Packers and Giants fantasy football Week 13 projection: Lots of points, lots of yards, a few turnovers for the Packers

Other sit ‘em D/ST units:

• Jacksonville’s season is over, their coach just got fired, and the Chargers come in trying to salvage some pride. I think they do, and put up a lot of primetime points on the Jags in the process.
• I was high on Seattle’s defense last week, then they gave up 20+ points at home to Washington. Philly and all of its weapons comes a calling this week. No thanks.

**********

Good luck in Week 13 everybody! We’ll see you in the comments.

And remember: Go here and leave a comment! By doing so, you’ll be entered to win tickets to the Big Ten Championship game! (And enter quickly. We have to choose a winner tomorrow early afternoon.)

As I stop with the filibuster lines, let’s discuss the injuries that have begun to rear their many ugly heads.  And I’m not just talking about injuries to players on your roster. Something else to pay attention to is injuries to your players’ opponents. These can sometimes affect your guys greatly. For example, Johnathan Joseph will play this week against Tampa Bay, but his hamstring isn’t 100%.

As a matter of fact, in the NFL, after week 1 nobody is 100% anymore. This is a tough game we play we with tough decisions, and we highlight who is healthy enough and good enough to play in this week’s stock report.

Fantasy Football Week 10: Stocks Up

Mark Sanchez

Don’t look now but Mark Sanchez is having a pretty good year. Aside from that horrible game against the Ravens, his play since then, especially against the Patriots, has been fairly encouraging.

Maybe playing under the radar is what suits him best; and between the Pats and Jets, New York is the team that is playing like they want to win the division right now. Tune in Sunday at 8:20 to find out.

Reggie Bush

Fantasy points or Kim Kardashian? This is quite the perplexing question, but it goes directly to Reggie since we all know she is back on the market, so he has some decisions to make.

While he may want to have his cake and eat it too, fantasy owners have to be excited about his 6.9 ypc average over the last two weeks against some formidable defenses. He is running better every week, and when you add his catching into the equation a pleasant surprise should come from this.

Ben Tate

Don’t be afraid to play Ben Tate just because he sits behind one of fantasy’s best running backs. With Andre Johnson continuing to have issues with his hamstring, the Texans are going to do what they do best and that is run the football up and down the field.

Jerome Simpson

After seeing the early season success of the Dalton to Green connection, the truth will show whether this Bengals offense can keep them relevant in the AFC North. Four straight games against divisional opponents will pose a challenge, so if anyone needs to step up more for this team it is Simpson. The stats don’t lie, his 15.8 yard average is best on the team.

Sidney Rice

To win against the Ravens, Seattle simply won’t be able to run the ball, sorry Mr. Lynch.  If they really want to win, trying to expose the sometimes vulnerable Baltimore secondary is the way to go about it. This all hinges on the ability for the offensive line to block long enough for Tavaris Jackson to throw the ball downfield. This is truly wishful, but not absurd, thinking.

Brent Celek

14 catches over the last two weeks is good for anybody…but a tight end?  Pure excellence.

Jake Ballard

Eli Manning is a very good quarterback and he loves his tight ends. Jake Ballard is going to get a lot of looks in the red zone and for some reason teams haven’t caught on. Ride this one for as long as you want.

Fantasy Football Week 10: Stocks Down

Tony Romo

That Buffalo defensive secondary doesn’t play around when it comes to causing turnovers.  Given Romo’s history in games that are important, there isn’t a lot to be happy about when the Cowboys and Bills face off to see who is going to stay afloat in their respective divisions.

Matthew Stafford

The Bears gave Stafford his 2^nd lowest fantasy game back in week 5, but the tide could and most likely will change this week.  Chicago plays better at home, and they are tired of hearing how good the Lions are and need to keep up in the tight wild card race, so expect a tough game that is going to be rough on the offensive statistics.

Ray Rice

Are the Ravens for real?  Probably, but this week could see Joe Flacco developing some rapport with his young receivers in a game that the Ravens should win pretty easily. Rice may see some action in the passing game but as far as running the ball, the matchup isn’t good.

Rashard Mendenhall

Big Ben is arguably the most important player to the Pittsburgh Steelers, which creates a passing environment causing Mendenhall to take a back seat. In the grand scheme of things, this works out well for him as he doesn’t have to take a beating every game, but this is fantasy and that is no good for us.

Julio Jones

Atlanta knows that if they want to beat the Saints, running the football up and down the field is really the only option. Besides, New Orleans is so well coached that letting an upstart like Jones go off again for a 100+ yard game with a couple scores is out of the question.

Brandon Lloyd

Aside from a mental lapse by the whole defense in week one, nobody, and I mean nobody can say they have given Joe Haden problems this year. Plug in the fact that Lloyd and Bradford are still extremely new to each other, it is going to be some time before the gaudy fantasy numbers that owners are hoping for will surface.

New England TE’s

Who do you feel is the best team in the AFC East right now?  The Jets are playing like it right now, and they have a big home game against the Pats on Sunday. During the meeting in week 5, Gronkowski and Hernandez went on to score a combined 8 points. For all the doubters out there downing the Jets defense, know that it is still elite and will cause some problems for these guys.

Falcons D/ST

A “recurring theme” is the term that best explains what happens to defenses that go up against Drew Brees, and that theme is points given up. We used to be able to say that about Phillip Rivers, but I’ll put the salt down for now. As for the Falcons, this season has been somewhat of a disappointment, and when teams are down, the Saints go for the jugular. If the offense can stay on the field long enough, then things should be ok for this defense…but it doesn’t look that way with Brees and Co in town.

In my opinion though, the hardest thing is staying in the present.

What do I mean?

Well, not only do you have to keep track of all of your players -  every rookie, waiver wire guy, and breakout performer on both your regular teams and weekly fantasy football teams – but you also have to be able to forget about the past and the future.

Who cares if Fred Jackson was bad last week…how will he do THIS week?

I know LeGarrette Blount’s prognosis for the rest of the year looks bleak…but can he give me one more week of solid production?

Most importantly, you have to remember that nobody can be perfect; and no matter how much you know, sometimes the athletes just have bad days.  (Yes, Jerod…I’m talking to you.  I will take my Tim Tebow, Fred Jackson, and Julio Jones predictions with me on my way to a big time network.)

[Editor's note: FINE! GO! I presciently told some people to sit Vincent Jackson and DeMarco Murray with very solid reasoning last week...you think I'm worried about losing YOU and your successful picks? HA!]

In all seriousness though, making predictions is quite hard…especially when you know it’s impossible to hit every pick out of the park.  Fortunately, I was on the money last week, nailing almost 75% of my picks.

Once again, I have to thank Verizon for helping me get there.

As you know, Verizon has hooked me up with a pretty sweet deal.  As part of our agreement, they have given me a Droid Bionic, equipped with NFL Mobile.  No matter where I am, I have instant access (on unbelievable 4G LTE speeds) to every fantasy player on my team.

Once again, I can’t talk about this enough.  Every time a new piece of technology comes out, we all ask ourselves the same question: “Is this REALLY going to be worth it?”  Sometimes, the new creation is called the iPad…and it revolutionizes everything.  Other times, it’s the iPad 2…where a company basically changed a device’s color, put a sticker, and made you waste $600.  When I heard about 4G speeds, I didn’t think twice about it.  I figured it was all a scam, and a waste of money.  Boy was I wrong.  Every time I watch my wife pull out her old-school Blackberry, and simply try to pull up google, I laugh at her.  Then, I get annoyed.  In a world full of impatient people, 4G speeds have made me a happier person.

Anyways, Verizon has helped me to stay current, and even better they have offered the MSF readers something spectacular:

Let me just repeat that again to make sure you noticed:

Verizon is offering YOU something AWESOME.  

One lucky MSF fantasy reader will get TWO free tickets to this weekend’s Colts/Jaguars game in Lucas Oil Stadium. All you need to do is comment on the bottom of this page in order to enter.

Yes, it’s as easy as asking a start/sit question about your fantasy team, which you probably were going to do anyway.

Just be sure to tag your comment with #indy so we know you can actually go to the game if you win.

Scroll to the bottom for more details, but believe me you won’t want to miss this crazy awesome opportunity.

As always, we begin this week’s post with a quick recap of last week’s picks.  (And also, don’t forget: the Raiders and Chargers play this Thursday Night, so make sure you set your rosters now!)

Last Week’s Picks: 16 for 22 (73 %)

• Hits: Matt Ryan, Tim Tebow, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, Joe Flacco, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Ben Roethlisberger, Michael Turner, Fred Jackson, Julio Jones, Antonio Brown, Steve Johnson, Nate Washington, NE Wide Receivers, Jake Ballard, and Scott Chandler
• Misses: LeGarrette Blount, Beanie Wells, Roy Helu, Plaxico Burress (by a half-yard), Dustin Keller, and Vernon Davis.

Once again, “Start Em” guys are QBs/TEs outside of the Top 12 and RBs/WRs outside of the Top 25. “Sit Em Guys” include QBs/TEs that are in the Top 12 and RBs/WRs that are in the Top 25.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Quarterback

Start Em QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick (@ Dallas)

Is Dallas’ defense better this year?  Yes.

Has it regressed in recent weeks?  Yes.

Is their passing defense still below average?  Yes.

Is Fitzpatrick coming off of a rough week and ready to showcase his Harvard pedigree?  Who knows.  I think he is.  And I think that he’s a must-start this week.

Ryan Fitzpatrick fantasy football Week 10 projection: 290 yards, 3 TDs.

Other start ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Mark Sanchez – Not that he’s good…but New England’s pass defense is BAD.
• Philip Rivers – Very favorable matchup against a reeling Oakland defense.  Hey, you would be reeling too if your coach just traded TWO #1 draft picks for Carson Palmer.
• Tony Romo – He’s been pretty good at home this year, and Buffalo’s pass defense is atrocious.

Sit Em QB: Jay Cutler (v Detroit)

I actually REALLY like Jay Cutler.

I think he’s a really good quarterback, and he’s incredibly underrated for reasons that are completely unrelated to his actual play on the field.  Unfortunately for him, his offensive line has been, let’s just say…below average this year.  And in Week Ten, he will be matched up against the Detroit defensive line that is coming off a bye.

Yikes.

Jay Cutler fantasy football Week 10 projection: 240 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs.  8 sacks.

Other sit ‘em QBs for Week Ten:

• Andy Dalton – He’s good…but Pittsburgh’s pass defense is better.
• Eli Manning – As I’m sure Jerod will note, San Francisco MIGHT have the best defense in the league…Eli might not be ELI-TE this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

I like Ryan Fitzpatrick this week, but I don’t want to take him out for Valentine’s Day dinner, get down on one knee, and give him a ring…as you seem to want to do. Fitzpatrick has actually thrown 3 TD passes in a game twice this year, but both came in the first two weeks of the season. The league has caught up to Buffalo since them. Fitzpatrick is a solid start at QB, but hold off the Washburnian marriage proposals.

I’m fine with sitting Cutler against Detroit. The Lions’ D-Line is at least 5X better and tougher than the Eagles’, so I can see this game going much, much differently.

As for Eli struggling against the 49ers, yes I think it will be tough for him. Still, I think Eli is a borderline top-10 QB this week because the way to beat San Fran is through the air – you do not run on them – and frankly, Eli deserves as much respect as any non-Aaron Rodgers QB in the league this year. So sit him at your peril.

Fantasy Football Start Em, Sit Em Picks for Week 10: Running Back

Start Em RB: DeAngelo Williams (v Tennessee)

Coming off a bye, Williams will be fresher than he’s been all year.  He’s also playing a Tennessee defense that is ranked 23rd in the league against the run.  With an increased emphasis on stopping Cam Newton, I expect the Panthers to respond by pounding it out on the ground just like old times.

I actually like Jonathan Stewart this week as well, but I expect DeAngelo Williams to have a big game.

DeAngelo Williams fantasy football Week 10 projection: 140 total yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• All starters in the Kansas City/Denver game
• Michael Turner – Atlanta really likes to pound the ball on the ground against the Saints in order to try and control the clock.  Expect Turner to have a great game.

Sit Em RB: Jahvid Best (at Chicago)

He’s a little banged up, and he’s been slipping a lot lately.  The fact is, if not for a few lucky home run plays the last few games he played, Best has been a huge disappointment.  Plus, he only has 3 TOTAL TDs this season – even with Megatron’s unbelievable dominance and all.

I don’t trust Best against Chicago this week at all, even if he somehow plays.  Expect the Lions to throw it…a lot…and be successful.

Jahvid Best fantasy football Week 10 projection: 45 total yards

Other sit ‘em RBs for Week Ten:

• Knowshon Moreno – HE’S NOT GOOD!!!
• Patriots’ RBs – The Jets will make NE completely one-dimensional this week.

Jerod’s thoughts:

Loyal MSF fantasy readers, I cannot in good faith endorse DeAngelo Williams as a start in all but the most desperate of circumstances. Just know if you start him that DAW has had one – one – useful fantasy week all season (Week 5 v New Orleans…thanks to one big run). So trust Washburn at your own peril on this one.

As for Jahvid Best, well I can’t let this go without some lampooning, now can I? Jon, you realize you’re telling us all to sit a guy that is widely expected not to start anyway, right?

Best is dealing with yet another concussion, a problem he’s had since college. It’s sad, because he’s a talented player, but I don’t think he’ll ever be able to reach his potential because of injury.

Regardless, Best is a guy to consider dropping, not just sitting, so don’t give Washburn any bonus points next week if he correctly predicted a fantasy football invalid to be worthless.

And finally…sit Knowshon Moreno??? Really? Was that before or after Willis McGahee almost single-handedly spurred the Broncos to victory last week while Moreno had 8 total yards?

Come on Jon. You’re better than these picks; and I only feel comfortable honestly calling you out because I know our readers like you and respect you and will demand more from you.

Besides, honesty and candidness is the MSF way.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Wide Receiver

Start Em WR: Steve Breaston (Denver)

He’s quietly having a solid season, and Denver’s pass defense is very mediocre.

Look for Champ Bailey to cover Dwayne Bowe all day, and look for Breaston to run wild in the process.  This isn’t to say that Bailey will shut down Bowe; actually, I’m trying to point out that a mildly washed up Champ Bailey is Denver’s BEST defensive back, which is good news for KC WRs.

Steve Breaston fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 90 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em WRs for Week Ten:

• Josh Cribbs – He is having a randomly solid season as well…and he should put up some nice numbers against St. Louis.
• Pierre Garcon – This week might be Indy’s best chance for a W all season.  Look for “the waiter” to have a solid day against Jacksonville.

Sit Em WR: Deion Branch (@ NY Jets)

At this point, if you are still starting New England wide eeceivers not named Wes Welker, you are DEFINITELY not staying current.  However, just in case, don’t start Deion Branch.

Darrelle Revis does NOT do a great job of defending the slot, so he will probably be matched up with Branch all day.  I shouldn’t have to say anything else.

Deion Branch fantasy football Week 10 projection: No catches

Jerod’s thoughts:

I guess we don’t get any other potential sit ‘em WRs this week? Geez Jon; I know you’re distraught about the NBA lockout, but there is no reason to take it out on our loyal fantasy football readers.

Here you go folks…here are a few normally startable WRs that you may want to think twice about:

• AJ Green and the Bengals finally face a good defense, the Steelers. Be wary. The last elite defense Cincy faced was when San Fran shut Green down to the tune of 4 catches for 29 yards.
• You know I like Brandon Lloyd for the balance of the season, but I could see him struggling a bit this week in a low-scoring affair against Cleveland in which Joe Haden will surely be draped all over him.
• Mike Williams has six catches in each of his last three games for Tampa Bay, but he’s averaging less than 10 yards per catch over his last four. Last year’s TD machine isn’t producing TDs, and while I continue to profess patience with him, I’d be okay with you placing the burden of proof on him.

As for Jon’s picks, I think Breaston is a solid option at WR this week, and Deion Branch is a weekly wild card; but with Tom Brady and New England’s offense struggling, I too would sit Branch against the Jets and Revis.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Tight Ends

Start Em TE: Jake Ballard, New York Giants (@ San Francisco)

San Francisco’s defense is VERY good, especially at shutting down opposing running games. Ballard should get a lot of touches in Week Ten as Eli will probably have to throw but still be under pressure much more than he was this past week. Plus, he is gaining trust with Big Play Ballard by the week.

Jake Ballard fantasy football Week 10 projection: 5 receptions, 60 yards, 1 TD

Other start ‘em TEs for Week Ten:

• Brandon Pettigrew – Chicago has a rough time defending TEs.

Sit Em TE: Dallas Clark (Jacksonville)

May he Rest In Peace.

Dallas Clark fantasy football Week 10 projection: 1 reception, 10 yards, 0 TD

Jerod’s Thoughts:

Hmm…well since Dallas Clark reportedly has a “significant leg injury” I suppose that’s a pretty good Sit ‘Em pick, though I hope you won’t take credit for that as a “hit” next week.

As for Ballard, I continue to like him, so I endorse that start ‘em pick, and I think Brandon Pettigrew could have success against the Bears like Brent Celek did last week.

As for the potential misses in Week 10, I continue to look at Jermichael Finley with skepticism because he just isn’t that involved in the Packers’ offense. He wouldn’t be in my top 12 TEs for this week, and I think you’d be well within your right to place a “prove it” tag on him.

Fantasy Football Start em, Sit em Picks for Week 10: Defenses

[Editor's note: the rest of this post is written by Jerod.]

Start Em Defense: Miami Dolphins (v Washington)

The Dolphins have played better than their record, and their defense showed a lot in last week’s drubbing of the Chiefs. Kansas City isn’t a great team this year, but they can be explosive on offense. The Dolphins wouldn’t let them. This week they face a John Beck-led offense that could do nothing more than dump off to the running back last week against San Francisco.

Miami Dolphins fantasy Football Week 10 projection: 14 or fewer points, 3 or more sacks, 1 or more turnovers

Other Start em D/ST units for Week 10:

• I know that Philly’s D has let you down this year, but against John Skelton and the Cardinals it could be very worthwhile to start them this week.
• The Detroit Lions get to face the porous Bears’ O-Line. Please tell me you aren’t fooled by the Eagles going sackless against them Monday night; the Bears O-Line remains not very good.

Sit Em Defense: Cincinnati Bengals (v Pittsburgh)

I just have a bad feeling that the Steelers are going to exact revenge on Cincy for Sunday night’s loss to Baltimore. I think a major part of it is that I don’t totally trust the Bengals’ D yet. They are good, but are they great?

Big Ben, Mike Wallace, and Antonio Brown can take full advantage of a good-but-not-great D, and I have a feeling that is what will happen here.

Cincinnati Bengals fantasy football Week 10 projection: 21 or more points, 2 sacks, 1 turnover

• Houston’s D has been great this year, but I just have a feeling they will underperform your expectations against a desperate Tampa Bay team in Tampa.
• Stay away from the Saints’ and Falcons’ defenses in Week 10. I would not be surprised if 70+ points are scored in that game.

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There are your start em, sit em picks for Week 10 of the fantasy football season. You know the drill from here. Read ‘em, digest ‘em, and then ask about ‘em. The comment section awaits your lineup-specific questions below.

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Without question, the story of the first half of the season (other than this) has been the ascent of the Detroit Lions.

They went 0-16 three years ago, then 2-14 in Jim Schwartz’s first year, then 6-10 last year; and now halfway through their 2011 slate Detroit, sitting at 6-2, is a bona fide contender in the NFC. And the Lions aren’t just an empty record either. They have the skill, attitude, reputation, and right now the health (knock on wood) to suggest that they aren’t going away.

So in honor of the Motor City Mufasas, and their roaring wreakers of wreckage Ndamukong Suh and Calvin Johnson, I give to you my Midseason NFL Power Rankings, with each team presented alongside a Motown classic that sums up the first half of its season.

The great Berry Gordy and Ndamukong Suh

1. Green Bay Packers (7-0) – “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder

After an uneven regular season in 2010, the Packers caught fire all the way to the Super Bowl. Along the way, Aaron Rodgers nudged his way into the Manning-Brady-Brees stratosphere of NFL quarterbacks.

Through seven games in 2011, the Packers haven’t missed a beat, and Rodgers has catapulted himself into the rarest of air: the undisputed #1 quarterback in football, and he’s on pace to complete the most efficient statistical season a quarterback has ever had.

As Stevie sings:

Lovers keep on lovin’
Believers keep on believin’
Sleepers just stop sleepin’

…

Gonna keep on tryin’
Till I reach my highest ground

Indeed, the Packers/Rodgers lovers and believers need to keep doing what they’re doing, and any remaining sleepers need to wake up to the reality that Rodgers is the best player in football.

If he hasn’t already reached the highest ground, it’s going to be amazing to see just how deadly the Packers’ offense is once he’s there.

2. San Francisco 49ers (6-1) – “Reach Out, I’ll Be There” by The Four Tops

Know this about the resurgent 49ers and their badass first year head coach Jim Harbaugh: at the end of the game, reach out and he’ll be the there…ready to shake your head after kicking your team’s butt. (Just try not to take it personally.)

And in case you needed any more reason why this is the perfect song choice for the 2011 take-no-prisoners 49ers, pay attention to the lyrics. Replace “girl” and “darling” with “Alex” (for Alex Smith), “I’ll” with “We’ll”, plus a few other subtle changes, and it might as well be a pregame Harbaugh speech to his much-maligned but improving QB.

Now if you feel that you can’t go on,
Because all of your hope is gone,
And your life is filled with much confusion,
Until happiness is just an illusion,
And your world around is crumbling down, Alex,
(Reach out) Come on Alex reach on out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
We’ll be there with a running game that will shelter you,
We’ll be there with a defense that will see you through,

See what I mean?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

I’m not sure what that was from Pittsburgh in Week 1, but it was most certainly not the real Steelers that we’ve come to know and appreciate.

Over the Steelers’ last four games though, we’ve started to see the real Steelers emerge again, just with a little more passing than running, and it’s been a good reminder that in the NFL there ain’t nothing like the real thing; and it doesn’t get much more real in professional football than the Steelers.

4. Detroit Lions (6-2) – “Just My Imagination” by The Temptations

For years, decades really, Lions fans have had to watch the success of other franchises and pretend it was their own. Losing season after losing season, all the Lions had was their imagination if they wanted to cheer for a winner.

Not anymore.

Now all Lions fans need to do is use their imaginations to conjure up a future in which Matthew Stafford plays 16 games, because if he does, this team is ready to make its long-awaited return to the postseason. And they won’t be an easy out.

5. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – “I Second That Emotion” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

After the Ravens’ offense sputtered against the Jags, Terrell Suggs publicly questioned the offensive gameplan. Surprisingly, Ravens coach John Harbaugh seconded Suggs’ emotion, agreeing that Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin needed to get the ball more.

One week later Cam Cameron and Joe Flacco got the notion, and the Ravens are back to their winning ways after Rice scored three TDs and Boldin topped 100 yards receiving.

6. New England Patriots (5-2) – “It’s The Same Old Song” by The Four Tops

An offense built around their statuesque quarterback who throws 40+ times every game, without much of a running game to speak of? Check.

A defense that gives up tons of yards, hopes to be “bend but don’t break” as a best case scenario, and is undeniably poor in the secondary and at rushing the passer? Check.

Sound familiar? That’s pretty much what the Patriots have been for the last three seasons, and for the last three seasons they’ve underwhelmed fans and pundits alike once January has rolled around. I’m struggling to find any reason to think this season will end any differently.

7. New Orleans Saints (5-3) – “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye

I don’t really feel like New Orleans deserves to be ranked this high, especially after what we witnessed from them last week and in their recent loss to Tampa Bay. Sandwiched in between those two defeats, however, was a thorough ass-kicking of the Indianapolis Colts; and anytime you beat another NFL team 62-7 it means, well, something.

The Saints still have Drew Brees, they still have weapons galore on offense, and they still have Sean Payton calling the shots. This outfit won a Super Bowl not too long ago, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt…for now. But they need to figure out what’s going on before far too many mothers, brothers, and fathers in The Bayou are left crying from another debacle like that loss to the Rams.

8. New York Giants (5-2) – “Ball of Confusion” by The Temptations

Is any good team more of a ball of confusion from year to year, week to week, and even quarter to quarter than the New York Giants? No.

Yet despite the ups and downs, here are the Giants sitting atop the NFC East with Eli Manning playing the best football of his career. Go figure.

9. Houston Texas (5-3) – “It Takes Two” by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston

The song choice for the Texans is obvious from the first two lines:

One can have a dream, baby
Two can make that dream so real

For a while now, the Texans and their fans have had dreams of going to the playoffs, but unfortunately they only had one side of the ball that functioned competently. Not anymore. Wade Phillips has taken a defense that was an embarrassment last year and made it respectable, even weathering the loss of Mario Williams.

It does indeed take two – an offense and a defense – to make playoff dreams real. Could this be the season it finally happens in Houston?

10. Buffalo Bills (5-2) – “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by The Temptations

The “papa” of these young Bills is head coach Chan Gailey, and he has indeed been a rolling stone during his coaching career. Buffalo is the 19th different coaching job Gailey has had since 1974. I know how transient of a profession coaching can be, but that is a lot of moving around.

Regardless, he has these Bills on the right track, sitting atop the AFC East.

11. New York Jets (4-3) – “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” by The Four Tops

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not sure the Jets have earned this high a spot in the rankings. They are on a two game winning streak, but beating the Dolphins and the apparently hapless Chargers isn’t all that impressive. Still, the Jets and their bombastic head coach cannot seem to help themselves: they always talk, they always struggle for parts of seasons, yet they always get it going when the weather gets cold. They’ve made two straight AFC Championship Games, so we can’t count them out yet.

(Note: there are also plenty of jokes that could be made in reference to Rex Ryan enjoying slices of sugar pie and handfuls of honey bunch, but I’ll refrain. Who do I look like…Joe Namath?)

12. Philadelphia Eagles (3-4) – “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” by Steve Wonder

I know that fans in Cincinnati and all over the AFC West and NFC South are going to be apoplectic at the under-.500 Eagles being 12th above their favorite teams, but what can I say? This team is loaded with talent, and I think they’d beat all of the teams below them (including more than a few above them) if they played right now.

So, Philly fans, what are you so uptight about? As long as you’ve got Andy Reid, everything is all right. Until the playoffs at least…

13. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) – “Shotgun” by Jr. Walker and the All Stars

I predicted that the Falcons would miss the playoffs before the season started, and I’m not backing off that prediction at all, though I have been impressed by their last two victories.

During the offseason, the Falcons tried to remake their offense from a tank into a shotgun with the hyperathletic Julio Jones added to the team at a high cost. It appeared early on that Ryan and the Falcons were trying to justify the cost while forgetting about their bread and butter: Michael Turner.

Things have changed.

Turner is back leading the offense and the Falcons are winning. The question is how long can Turner withstand another season of pounding. We’ll see.

14. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

The Bengals had to deal with QB turmoil all offseason, limped into the regular season with rookies leading them at QB and WR, have had to deal with Cedric Benson’s continued legal troubles, and they lost corner Jonathan Joseph in the offseason. Also, certain Midwestern sports bloggers predicted the Bengals would finish with the worst record in the league. Yet all Marvin Lewis and the Bengals have shown is that there ain’t no football mountain high enough to keep this underrated team down this season.

At least so far.

Cincy’s wins are against Cleveland, Jacksonville, Buffalo, Seattle, and Indianapolis, and they still have four games coming up against Pittsburgh and Baltimore. This is why I’m not sold on the Bengals and have them at 14th. But if they can keep climbing mountains, this could be the most unlikely playoff team of 2011.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) – “Since I Lost My Baby” by The Temptations

The Chiefs have reeled off four straight wins since I ranked them #1 in my inaugural Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, a winning streak that has moved them all the way into a first place tie in the AFC West. This has Chiefs fans seeing sun shining (yes, plenty of light), a new day dawning (so sunny and bright), and even birds signing and children playing.

But the reality is that without young stars Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki, all of whom the Chiefs lost early in the year to season-ending injuries, the Chiefs’ chances of going any further than they did last year – a first round playoff blowout – are slim to none.

16. San Diego Chargers (4-3) – “Hello” by Lionel Richie

It’s fitting that the Chargers are one spot behind the Chiefs, because they were one successful QB-center exchange away from beating them last night.

If I had time, I would create a YouTube video with the ball Rivers’ fumbled away singing this Lionel Richie ballad to him. It’s the kind of thing the Internet was invented for. Can’t you just see the ball rolling around on the ground plaintively singing these words to Rivers while the QB laments his “worst day ever“:

Hello!
Is it me you’re looking for?
’cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

17. Oakland Raiders (4-3) – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations

The Raiders are a hard team to figure out right now since we have no idea a) what they will get from Carson Palmer and b) if their offensive workhorse Darren McFadden can stay healthy enough all year to keep the pressure off of Palmer.

But we do know one thing: the Raiders were not begging nor pleading for anyone’s sympathy once Jason Campbell went down. They slept on Mike Brown’s doorstep and even let everyone laugh, because they wanted Carson Palmer any way they could get him. Now they have him, and we’ll see if they can just keep winning, baby.

18. Dallas Cowboys (3-4) – “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

Did the Cowboys even have a Week 8 game? They did? Really? Because the only time I saw a Cowboy show up last week is Tony Romo when he announced that he and his new wife are expecting.

So since I have nothing constructive to say about Dallas’ no show on Sunday night, let’s honor the soon-to-be parents. Take it away Marvin.

19. Chicago Bears (4-3) – “You Keep Me Hanging On” by The Supremes

I tend not to trust teams that have severe offensive line issues, which is why the Bears fall towards the back of the teams bunched at 3-4 wins.

I also wouldn’t trust the Bears if I were Matt Forte, who I think is much closer to Adrian Peterson than Chris Johnson in terms of being deserving of a new contract. Can anyone blame Forte for feeling like the Bears are just keeping him hanging on? I mean really Jerry Angelo. If you’re not going to #paytheman, set him free why don’t ya?

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3) – “Brick House” by The Commodores

Tampa Bay was another supposedly up-and-coming team that I didn’t trust heading into the season. They’ve scratched together four wins, but they have looked pretty bad along the way at times.

So in honor of the bricks they’ve thrown up against San Francisco and the first half of the Chicago game in London, not to mention Josh Freeman’s 10 interceptions, here are The Commodores singing about bricks in a much different context.

21. Minnesota Vikings (2-6) – “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie

You know that Adrian Peterson is called “AD” because he can run all day long. Now that Minnesota has handed the reins of its offense over to rookie Christian Ponder, Peterson may have to run all day and all night long to help ease the rook’s transition.

Peterson is more than capable, and the Vikings – who have played better than their record – are more than capable of winning 4-5 of their remaining games if Ponder can just provide adequate play under center.

22. St. Louis Rams (1-6) – “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

No, I’m not insane. I’m well aware that before last weekend’s trouncing of the Saints, the Rams hadn’t beaten anyone and hadn’t even really come close. Just consider me to be buying low on the Rams, and when they finish with 5-6 wins, remember that you heard it here first.

You can’t hurry a connection between a new offensive coordinator, an offensive line, and a young QB, but Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get everyone on the same page. Having Brandon Lloyd will help, and having a leader like Steven Jackson to make sure no one mails it in will also keep these Rams on a forward trajectory all season.

23. Carolina Panthers (2-6) – “ABC” by The Jackson 5

Am I drinking the Cam Newton Kool-Aid after 8 games? You’re dadgum right I am, so much so that I came up with 20 teams who, hypothetically speaking of course, should trade their QB for right now for Newton.

I did not think Newton would have an easy transition to the NFL, but he’s made playing quarterback look as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What he has not found so easy to do yet is win, but that will come. He needs more experience and a better team around him, but the Panthers are a team on the rise that no one will want to face in the second half of the season.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-3) – “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder

In case you were wondering, no, I’m not sold on the Titans.

A win over the Colts does not impress me, nor did the Titans’ previous two non-competitive games against Pittsburgh and Houston. This team was looking good when Kenny Britt was around and emerging as a top receiver, but they seem lost without him.

But hey, at least Chris Johnson is signed, sealed, delivered, and yours, right Tennessee? Or not…

25. Cleveland Browns (3-4) – “Money (That’s What I Want)” by Barrett Strong

In case you hadn’t heard, money is what Peyton Hillis wants. He is not, however, willing to play through strep throat or maintain community commitments in his quest to leverage one partial good season into, apparently, $10 million per yer.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on the guy. If I were a running back for the Browns, against whom defenses can load up eight men in the box on every play, I might not be so motivated to play either.

26. Washington Redskins (3-4) – “Mercy, Mercy Me” by Marvin Gaye

When your only quarterback choices are Rex Grossman or John Beck, how can Redskins fans or even Mike Shanahan himself say anything other than mercy, mercy me?

The Redskins got off to a fast start this season, but things ain’t what they used to be. With such putrid play under center and so many injuries on offense, a turnaround doesn’t appear to be coming. Redskins fans will just have to keep wondering where did all the blue skies go?

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) – “Shop Around” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

So the Jaguars beat a disinterested Baltimore team in a defensive slopfest a few weeks back. So what?

This team is still going nowhere fast, and even the one positive Jags fans might have been able to take from this season – that the team had finally found a franchise QB – doesn’t seem to be coming to fruition. Based on what I’ve seen from Blaine Gabbert so far this year, I’d say to the Jags that they’d better shop around.

28. Seattle Seahawks (2-5) – “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5

In Pete Carroll’s first season, the Seahawks made an improbable run to the second round of the NFC Playoffs thanks to playing the in the terrible NFC West. No one in the NFC West seemingly did much to improve themselves in the offseason (who saw the 49ers run coming?), so what does Seattle do to keep the forward momentum going? They get rid of Matt Hasselbeck to turn their most important position on the field over to Charvaris Jackhurst.

Think they might want Hasselbeck and his 89.2 QB rating back now?

29. Arizona Cardinals (1-6) – “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” by Jimmy Ruffin

In Super Bowl 43, the Arizona Cardinals indeed became the brokenhearted when Ben Roethlisberger’s pass connected with Santonio Holmes in the corner of the end zone. So what becomes of the brokenhearted in football, who had a good QB who’s now departed? Everything goes to hell and a handbasket, apparently.

After your borderline Hall of Fame quarterback retires and you suffer through an awful season with basically no QB, you know you’ve got to find some kind of peace of mind for your All-World wide receiver. So you overpay for a guy who hasn’t proven he can be a competent starter, he doesn’t get any better, and all the while your defense gets worse and worse.

So, again, what becomes of the brokenhearted? In the case of Cardinals fans, you just go back to how things were before.

30. Denver Broncos (2-5) – “Dancing In The Streets” by Martha and the Vandellas

No matter what happens at the end of the Tim Tebow experience, they’ll be dancing in Dennnnnnver…and there will still surely be opinions everywhere.

Either fans of Tim Tebow will be dancing because he’s proven his worth as a starting QB in the NFL, or the Johns Fox and Elway will be dancing because they can jettison Tebow and get a QB who fits their ideal.

But either way, dancing.

31. Miami Dolphins (0-7) – “Stop! In The Name Of Luck!” by The Supremes

Do you see what I did with the title there?

This is what every Dolphins fan is imploring their team to do every time they have a promising drive or a second half lead. So far, the Dolphins have proven to be epic failures in the 4th quarters of games, which may just be the best thing for the franchise’s future.

Though the players and coaches don’t want to hear it, nor should they, Dolfans and owner Stephen Ross would like the team to stop coming so damn close to winning, and they certainly would like the Colts to stop losing…all in the name of Luck.

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-8) – “Where Did Our Love Go?” by The Supremes

Yep, two straight songs by The Supremes to end it. And why not? At this point I’m not convinced that on the football field Diana Ross and The Supremes would do any worse that Curtis Painter and The Colts or Matt Moore and the Dolphins.

So many lyrics snippets from this song could very well be things that Colts players have uttered verbatim during one of their eight horrific losses this season, with the their plaintive utterances directed at either Peyton Manning or their fans, who abandon them more and more with each demoralizing loss.

Baby, baby
Baby don’t leave me
Ooh, please don’t leave me
All by myself

…

Now that I surrender
So helplessly

…

Where did our love go
And all your promisses
Of a love forever more

You get the idea.

But if all Colts fans have to endure in between decades of success with franchise QBs is one terrible season, I and many others will resent them more than we already do.

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There are my rankings, and each team’s corresponding Motown classic.

As always, I encourage your agreement, disagreement, and constructive criticisms below, both for the rankings and the song choices.

And now, because it’s one of my all-time favorite Motown songs but I couldn’t find a great team to assign it too, I’ll send you off into the comment section with one more classic tune from the great Marvin Gaye.

This is a question I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past several weeks, as I continue to be more and more impressed (and surprised) by how well Cam Newton is transitioning to the NFL in his first season.

Cam Newton’s Impressive Start

Frankly, I did not think that Newton was going to become a good NFL quarterback. I certainly did not think it would happen this quickly. But this is why I blog about the NFL in my underpants while typing with Cheetos-stained fingers and other people get paid to scout and draft players*.

* – Of course, plenty of people who do not blog about the NFL in their underpants with Cheetos-stained fingers, and who get paid to scout players, agreed with my assessment about Newton. This just goes to show how inexact a science scouting quarterbacks can be. Except for this guy.

As good as he’s been,nobody is ready to put Cam Newton into Canton yet. It takes more than 8 statistically strong games to classify someone as an elite QB, especially when six of those games have resulted in losses.

In fact, we’re going to learn a lot about Newton over these final 8 weeks while the Panthers essentially “play out the string” and Newton is forced to endure the first losing season of his football career. Leading your team in spite of adversity is one of the most important attributes for a successful NFL QB. We’ll see if Newton has that ability. So far he’s given us no reason to doubt him.

Certainly there is no reason to doubt Newton’s physical skills. He is passing for nearly 300 yards per game (299.1), completing 60.6% of his passes, and has thrown 11 touchdown passes against 9 interceptions. Those are solid numbers for any quarterback, let alone a rookie, and they are made even more impressive when his superlative running stats added to the discussion: 5.1 yards per carry and 7 rushing touchdowns.

And the numbers don’t tell the whole story.

Whereas Tim Tebow’s numbers are not nearly as poor as you might think, and in fact compare favorably to several Hall of Famers’ stats through five starts, Tebow hasn’t looked at all like an NFL QB. Cam Newton, on the other hand, has. He’s played with poise throughout games, including late, and he’s shown that he can make all the throws. He also has shown the ability to hit guys for big plays down the field when they are a open, which is an absolute requisite skill for a quarterback in the NFL. When a QB has a chance to make a big play, it must be made more often than not; simple as that.

Newton has been far from perfect, and he has plenty of growing to do, but I don’t think anyone is anything but highly impressed with his first eight games as an NFL quarterback. Many may not have been as low on Newton as I was before the season, but I doubt anyone other than Cam himself expected this kind of success out of the gate.

And all of this leads me back to my original question: how many NFL teams would trade their QB right now for Cam Newton?

Hypothetically Speaking…

For our purposes, assume that everything is how it is (team records, contracts, rosters, coaches, etc) and that every NFL team is given the option of swapping its current QB right now for Newton. I admit that is 100% ridiculous because Carolina wouldn’t trade Cam Newton for anyone (except maybe Aaron Rodgers…), but humor me for the sake of discussion. The result of this hypothetical transaction would be Newton quarterbacking the team for the rest of this season, in place of their current QB, and then being their QB through the rest of his rookie contract.

There are a number of easy answers on both sides, teams that wouldn’t even think twice about saying yes or no:

• Automatic No: New England, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, New York Giants
• Automatic Yes: Miami, Cleveland, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Oakland, Kansas City, Denver, Washington, Seattle

I shouldn’t have to defend any of the automatic “no” choices. Each team has a Super Bowl-winning QB, and each team feels it is a contender this season. As tantalized as they may be by Newton, none of these teams would trade their guy for him. (And anyone who doesn’t think Eli deserves this kind of respect is, in my opinion, crazy.)

As for the automatic yeses, I can maybe-possibly see some saying that Tennessee and Jacksonville have “QBs of the future” in Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert, but both teams would have rather had Newton in the draft and surely would rather have him now. These and the others are absolute no-brainers to me.

Now let’s go one-by-one through the remaining teams and figure out a) if they would trade their current QB for Cam Newton, and b) if they should trade their current QB for Cam Newton, because I bet the answers won’t often be the same. Of course these are all just my opinions based on how I see each team’s situation.

As always, I encourage disagreement, discussion, and even constructive criticism. That’s what comment sections are for. And there is a poll at the end of this post so we can crowdsource some kind of consensus for the non-obvious teams.

Here goes…

Buffalo Bills – Ryan Fitzpatrick (current record: 5-2)

The Bills just locked Fitzpatrick up to a long-term contract that will pay him $24 million and keep him as the signal caller in Buffalo for at least the next 2-3 years. Considering the deal Arizona signed Kevin Kolb to in the offseason, Fitzpatrick certainly deserves this contract. He has passed for 1,739 yards this year and twice as many touchdowns as interceptions, and he’s led Buffalo to first place in the AFC East. There is perhaps concern that Fitzpatrick is playing over his head, as his current completion rate is 8 points higher than his career average, and his QB rating is 20 points higher than his career average, but Fitzpatrick also could just be showing the normal progression that a good young NFL quarterback will make.

Personally, I’m not sold on Fitzpatrick as a top-tier option for the future who can compete against the likes of Brady, Roethlisberger, and Peyton Manning If He Plays Again (his new name). Fitzpatrick is a solid guy who can transition you from one franchise QB to the next, but I don’t think he is the type of QB who will make you a winner year in, year out. Cam Newton may be. But with the Bills sitting in first place in the AFC East, and the good feelings of the contract still fresh, I don’t think they’d make the move even though I would.

• Would they? No
• Should they? Yes

New York Jets – Mark Sanchez (4-3)

This is one of the more intriguing ones.

Even though Mark Sanchez has really done nothing to show that he can or will become a top-tier NFL quarterback (54.7% completions, 41 TD:39 INT for career), he has ridden the coattails of a great defense and an above-average running game to two straight AFC title games. His coach continues to profess confidence in him, and I think would rather win with “his guy” Sanchez, or die trying, than admit he was wrong and bring in another QB…at least right now.

Simply put: I think most objective people would make this trade in a heartbeat, and maybe the Jets front office would force it to happen; but I think Rex Ryan is so dug in with Sanchez that he’d do everything to veto it and give Sanchez another chance to finish the job this year. (I’ll be curious to hear from Jets fans on this one…)

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton (5-2)

Here is another one where short-term success might lead to myopic thinking.

The Bengals are, shockingly, sitting at 5-2 with their red-haired rookie QB and glue-handed rookie WR leading the offense. The Bengals’ defense has been great so far this season, but Dalton has been far from just a caretaker. He’s thrown 9 TDs and is completing 62.4% of his passes. Dalton’s sprint out of the gate has been nothing short of shocking.

But here is where I throw a little cold water on the fire: Cincinnati has beaten Cleveland, Buffalo, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and Seattle. Buffalo is good, the other four teams are not. So do we really know how good Dalton is? I don’t think so. In his one start against a god defense this year, Week 3 versus San Francisco, he was putrid. We’ll know a lot more about Dalton after his four games against Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

Like many teams, Cincy would have jumped at the chance to draft Cam Newton, but their first place positioning in the AFC North, and the fans’ growing attachment to Dalton, plus their history of personnel ineptitude, lead me to believe that the Bengals would forgo the chance to get Newton to hang onto Dalton. It would be a mistake.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

As you can see, I have little faith in Ryan Fitzpatrick, Mark Sanchez, or Andy Dalton, at least in relation to Cam Newton; but I also have little faith that any of their teams would trade them for Newton.

This next one though might be the most intriguing of all.

Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco (5-2)

Ever since Joe Flacco has taken over as QB in Baltimore, the Ravens’ offense has been as up-and-down as any offense in the NFL. Flacco has seven games in which he has tossed three or more touchdowns. He also 24 games in which he’s thrown zero touchdowns, including four playoff games (though he often gets credited with being a “winning” playoff QB). All the while, Baltimore has had a good-to-great defense and a solid running game.

Now in his fourth year, and with just one TD pass in his last four games, can the Ravens and team leaders like Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs really still have that much confidence in Flacco? I know they call him “Joe Cool” because he never seems rattled, but that’s mostly because he barely looks like he has a pulse at times. Cam Newton also never gets rattled, but he plays with an energy and smile that are both infectious. Yes, I’m one of those who believes that how you “look” and what your body language says means something when you’re the QB. Whatever Flacco may have over Newton in experience is negated by his comatose on-field appearance.

All of this is to say that I would, in a heartbeat, trade Flacco for Newton if I was the Ravens. After the last four games, and with Lewis especially running out of time, I think the Ravens would too.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning (0-8)

Of course the Colts would trade Curtis Painter straight up for Cam Newton. Duh. But what’s the fun in that? The real juicy question would be, right this very moment, would the Colts trade Peyton Manning If He Plays Again for Newton? And the answer is that none of us have enough information to answer. It would all come down to Manning’s health.

If there is even an iota of a chance that he can come back and play at 80-85% of his previous effectiveness, Indy would hold onto Peyton. But if they doubt he ever plays again, even if he wants to and is working like the dickens to get back, wouldn’t Indy have to trade for Cam as opposed to waiting around to see if they suck enough for Luck?

Ultimately, I think the uncertainty would tip the scales in favor of keeping Manning, and that’s the right call. It feels like there is something unfinished about Manning’s tenure in Indianapolis, and though I logically know that neck injuries can end careers, I’d still be shocked if Manning never suits up for Indy again. So I can’t see Indy pulling the trigger on this move. And with the team possibly positioning itself to draft Andrew Luck anyway, there would be no reason to trade Manning before they know as much as possible about his potential comeback.

I anticipate a lot of debate and perhaps disagreement about this one. In fact, I’m already starting to disagree with myself. I better just move along.

• Would they? No
• Should they? No

Houston Texans – Matt Schaub (5-3)

I don’t think for a second that Houston would even entertain this thought, not with Schaub and Kubiak finally on the cusp of making it to the playoffs. As good/bland as Schaub may be, good/bland isn’t necessarily an awful thing for a QB to be on a team that has a great running game, an elite WR, and a strong defense. This is the first time Houston has had all three working in the same season, and Schaub is the right guy to lead them. I wouldn’t mess with what they have going right now, not with the AFC South up for grabs this year and into the future, and I don’t think they would either.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

San Diego Chargers – Philip Rivers (4-2)

Coming into this season it would have seemed laughable for Philip Rivers to be on this list, and perhaps it still is, but Rivers has thrown 7 TDs against 9 INTs this year, and it’s not like he has a Super Bowl title or many playoff skins on the wall to grant him immunity from at least entering this discussion.

Still, I doubt there is a chance the Chargers would seriously consider it. Rivers has a strong regular season track record over multiple seasons, and he has undoubtedly been hurt by Antonio Gates’ absence early this season. Just like I don’t think teams should overreact to a fast early season start and overrate their players (as may be the case right now in Buffalo and Cincy), I don’t think teams should underrate their players because of a slow start.

The irony of ironies, of course, is that the slow-starting Chargers are off to a fast 4-2 start during the season when their QB has more or less stunk. Go figure.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

Philadelphia Eagles – Michael Vick (3-4)

Another one that is fascinating to think about. The Eagles went all-in on this season and are just now starting to dig themselves out of their early season hole. As tempting as it might be to get Newton, who is similar to Vick but with 6-7 years less mileage, I can’t see Andy Reid doing it. Vick is the better choice for this season and the Eagles are in it to win it in 2011.

That said, I think Newton is showing the ability to do a lot of the things Vick couldn’t or wouldn’t do early in his career. I’d love to see what Reid could do with a guy like Newton, who is not quite the runner Vick is but who is light years ahead of where Vick was as a passer in his rookie season. Just because the Eagles picked this year as the year to go for it all doesn’t mean they should necessarily mortgage a chance to improve themselves for the long term. And is Vick really playing so well that Newton couldn’t come close to replicating him, thus keeping the Eagles in contention this year? I don’t think so.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo (3-4)

Whatever my answer is here it is sure to stir up some controversy, just because that’s how any discussions about Tony Romo are sure to go.

I’ve always been a Romo supporter, thinking that his critics didn’t give him enough credit for being one of the top 10 QBs in the league. While I still think Romo is an above average QB, I’m not as sold on him anymore as a potential champion. Sure, with the right supporting cast he could win a Super Bowl – hell, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl – but I’m no longer sure that Romo can lead a franchise to a Super Bowl, and there is a big difference.

I don’t know if Cam Newton can lead a team to a Super Bowl either. It’s way to early to even consider such questions. But we did just see him lead his college team to a championship in the toughest conference in all of college football, all while rumors and innuendo and investigations were swirling around him constantly. Newton’s got it, whatever it is, and Tony Romo hasn’t proven that he does. So wouldn’t it be worth taking a chance on Newton if you’re convinced Romo probably can’t be the guy to lead a champion?

The answer to this one comes down to your belief in Romo. I no longer believe. Give me Cam. Unfortunately for Cowboys fans, Jerry Jones probably still believes in Romo. At the least, he believes in his own ego and won’t want to admit Romo can’t get it done. Hell, he wouldn’t even trade Martellus Bennett to Cincinnati for a second round pick. Why would he trade Romo for Newton?

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford (6-2)

I considered putting the Lions in the automatic no category, but Mr. Glass didn’t deserve to be considered on par with Brady, Ben, Aaron Rogers, and Drew Brees. He hasn’t played a full season yet, and he hasn’t been so transcendent when he has played that Detroit wouldn’t at least consider the move.

I don’t think they’d do it though. Even with Stafford making way more money than Cam, he is the guy they have built around, and I don’t think the Lions would shake up the franchise that drastically when it is finally experiencing a true ascension.

As for me, I’d do it. Cam is showing that he knows how to utilize a top-fight receiver, and he he does not carry the same injury-prone reputation of Stafford. Add in the cost savings of Newton’s contract over Stafford’s, and I’d much rather have the rookie over the third year guy, even for the rest of the this year and certainly beyond.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler (4-3)

See the entry above about Joe Flacco, replace his name with “Jay Cutler” and replace “Ray Lewis” with “Brian Urlacher”. There is no reason for me to repeat myself.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Minnesota Vikings – Christian Ponder (2-6)

Ponder and the Vikings beat Newton and the Panthers this past weekend, with Ponder having his second straight impressive start. And while Vikings fans are slowly talking themselves into the Ponder Era, the reality is that the Vikings would have traded St. Paul to draft Newton last year, and as polished as Ponder seems to be both on and off the field, he doesn’t have 1/10th the physical potential of Newton. Minnesota probably should have been an automatic.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman (4-3)

Freeman was the up-and-coming superstar young quarterback coming into this season, but he has fallen back down to earth a bit through the first half of the year. His interceptions are way up, and he just doesn’t seem as comfortable or confident as he was last year, when he and rookie Mike Williams were as explosive as just about any QB-WR combo in the league.

Still, despite his struggles, I think Tampa Bay is committed to Freeman as the future of its franchise, and I know that Raheem Morris (who coached Freeman in college) believes in his young QB. Freeman is another guy who surprised me by having a smoother transition to the NFL than I thought he would. He has all of the physical tools to bust out of his current slump and still become a top-10 QB. I’d hold tight, and I think Tampa Bay would too.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan (4-3)

Like the Lions with Stafford, I don’t think Atlanta would consider making this move for more than a few seconds, but Ryan is not quite the slam dunk franchise QB that some make him out to be. He has not risen to the occasion in the Falcons’ biggest games, and he does not possess the accuracy that the top flight quarterbacks all have. He does “look” the part, he’s tough, and he’s a strong leader, which is why Atlanta is surely satisfied with Ryan and not looking to move on, nor should they be. As many questions as I have about Ryan, he’s shown enough to make me think that, unlike Romo, he could lead a franchise to a Super Bowl. With the investment Atlanta has already made in him, they’d hold tight, and I agree.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith (6-1)

Another very, very intriguing one simply because of how this season has started. This one falls right in line with the Bills and Bengals, two teams doing far better than anyone expected thanks to solid play from their QB. Smith has not been asked to win games for the 49ers this year, he’s just been asked not to lose them with a great defense and solid running game by his side. And he hasn’t.

Still, this is Alex Smith. He has not done anything spectacular this year that Cam Newton couldn’t have done, even as a rookie. The issue would be whether Newton would have made mistakes that Smith wouldn’t have made to sabotage the 49ers in a game or two. That I don’t know. But I do know that, again, this is Alex Smith. As solid as he’s been, and as much of an impact as Jim Harbaugh has made on him, the difference in talent and swagger between he and Newton is obvious.

To me, the 6-1 record of the 49ers, and their incredible four game lead this early in this season, would make the team more likely to do such a deal. They’d have some cushion if Newton struggled to adapt to his new surroundings; though one thing we have learned about Newton is that he rarely if ever struggles to adapt. It may be his greatest strength of all.

• Would they? Yes (Well…maybe…probably)
  
• Should they? Yes
  

St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford (1-6)

Following right along with my thoughts on Stafford and Ryan, I don’t think there is much of a chance that St. Louis would pull the plug on the Bradford Era already, especially considering Bradford was the NFL’s Rookie of the Year last year and just needs protection and a few good targets to showcase his pinpoint accuracy. But like Stafford and Ryan, Bradford hasn’t earned Automatic No status. So the Rams might think about it, especially considering the money, but I think they’d stick with Bradford, and I wouldn’t blame them. I still think he’s going to be a star.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Arizona Cardinals – Kevin Kolb (1-6)

I thought long and hard about putting Arizona in Automatic Yes territory, but would they really cut the cord on Kolb so soon after giving him a long-term deal? Of course they should, but we know how egos sometimes get in the way of sound decision making, so I just wonder if they would.

Ultimately, I think so. Larry Fitzgerald has to be watching Cam Newton resuscitate Steve Smith’s career and get horribly jealous. That’s what Kolb was supposed to do for Fitzy, but obviously he hasn’t come close. Not that Arizona should be surprised by this mind you, because Kolb is basically just doing exactly what he did in Philadelphia. What, should he have turned down the money?

I don’t think it would take Arizona very long to say yes here.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

###

So, how many teams would trade their current QB for Cam Newton right now?

Okay, let’s tally up the “would they” column, as decided by me:

• No: Buffalo, New York Jets, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Philadelphia, Dallas, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Baltimore, Chicago, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Combined with the automatics from up above, that means I think 14 teams would trade their current starting quarterback straight up for Cam Newton. That seems very low to me; and of course it would seem low to me because I personally project a lot of disconnect between what teams should do and what they would do were this a real rather than hypothetical situation.

If I tally it up in terms of my “should they” answers, it would look much different:

• No: Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Buffalo, New York Jets, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Dallas, Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Based on what I would do in each team’s case, I think 20 teams’ QB situations would be improved immediately with Cam Newton. Maybe for a few there would be a short-term step back, but it would be worth it for the projected long-term steps forward.

But what I am really interested in here is your opinion.

Below is a poll that lists all of the teams I think are not obvious. Vote for all of the ones who you think should (not necessarily would) trade their current QB straight up for Cam Newton in our hypothetical fantasy. Then take to the comment section to state your peace or to agree/disagree with any of my assessments.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I invite your thoughts below.

The good news is that we are through most of the bye weeks, and just four teams (Carolina, Detroit, Jacksonville, and Minnesota) are off in Week Nine.  While most of those teams haven’t racked up many wins, there are some big fantasy names on those rosters for which owners may need a replacement.

As always, players listed here are owned in fewer than 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Waiver Wire Pickups: Quarterback

Kevin Kolb (46%), Arizona

I’m not putting Kolb on here because he played well on Sunday, because, well, he didn’t.  However, the Cardinals face a St. Louis pass defense that has given up multiple touchdown passes in five of seven games.  In fact, the Rams have allowed seven passing scores in their three road games, making Kolb a decent bye week fill-in based solely on the matchup.

Matt Cassel (37%), Kansas City

Since I’m writing this on Sunday night, I can’t speak to Cassel’s Week Eight performance, but I can speak for the quality of his next few matchups.  The Chiefs face Miami, Denver, and New England during weeks 9, 10, and 11, and those just so happen to be the three defenses who allow the most points to opposing fantasy quarterbacks.

Andy Dalton (37%), Cincinnati

The Red Rifle now has two total touchdowns in three of his past four games, and my belief in him is undeterred by his two picks on Sunday, as they were made while he was being aggressive down the field.  His matchup against Tennessee next week is decent, given that the Titans have allowed at least 250 passing yards and/or multiple TD passes in five straight games.  What looks even better than that are Dalton’s fantasy playoff dates with St. Louis and Arizona.

Sam Bradford (29%), St. Louis

As I have mentioned the last couple weeks, Bradford still has some great matchups remaining on the schedule, starting with this week’s game against Arizona who has routinely been torched by opposing signal callers.  Keep an eye on his injury status this week to see if his ankle will allow him to take advantage of the deficiencies in the Cardinal secondary.

Carson Palmer (27%), Oakland

Like Kevin Kolb, let’s file this one under the “I know he played like Ryan Leaf the last time you saw him, but look at the matchup!” category.  Palmer used the bye week to develop timing with his new teammates, and he’ll face a Broncos defense allowing the most points to fantasy quarterbacks this year.  He’s worth a gamble if you’re looking for a one week fill-in for the likes of Matthew Stafford or Cam Newton.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Waiver Wire Pickups: Running Back

Bernard Scott (42%), Cincinnati

Obviously Cedric Benson will be back next week, but Scott had some decent runs against a stout Seattle run defense and finished with 76 yards on the ground.  That isn’t enough to take the starting job from Benson, but it should be enough to get him a few more touches.  As is the case with Dalton, there are some great matchups to round out the year, making Scott a decent option to stash on your bench in the interim.

Maurice Morris (35%), Detroit (bye)

With Jahvid Best still out with a concussion, Morris had another solid game with 65 total yards and a short rushing TD.  He outplayed Keiland Williams by a fairly wide margin this week and would again be the starter if Best still isn’t recovered following Detroit’s bye.  As I have mentioned before, Best is far from the picture of health, which makes Morris a valuable handcuff.

Roy Helu (32%), Washington

After the last couple weeks Ryan Torain is dead to me, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Mike Shanahan shared that sentiment.  That said, you never really know what’s going through Shanahan’s head, so the fact that Helu didn’t receive a single carry in Sunday’s loss to Buffalo means virtually nothing.  Consequently, it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility that Helu gets a shot as the starter sometime between now and the end of the season.

Javon Ringer (6%), Tennessee

It was Ringer, and not well-paid mega bust Chris Johnson, who was taking fourth quarter handoffs against the Colts.  Johnson remained woefully ineffective, and while the offensive line didn’t do either back any favors, Ringer clearly looked like the better runner.  After the game Mike Munchak alluded to a committee approach going forward, which makes Ringer among the top waiver wire targets.  It’s worth noting he has 12 receptions in the last three games, so he’s an even better option in PPR leagues.  Next week’s matchup against the Bengals isn’t particularly enticing, but there are a number of games looming against teams who struggle to stop the run, starting with Carolina in Week Ten.

Kregg Lumpkin (5%), Tampa Bay

It sounds as though LeGarrette Blount will be back this week, but the Bucs will turn to Lumpkin if he experiences any setbacks.  Even if he doesn’t, Lumpkin is expected to serve as the third-down back, giving him some value in deep PPR leagues.

Lance Ball (1%), Denver

Both Ball and Knowshon Moreno rushed for over 60 yards against the Lions on Sunday, with Ball reaching that mark on just six carries.  If Willis McGahee misses another game next week, Ball is potentially worth a flier given the matchup against an Oakland defense that has given up some big games to running backs earlier this year.

Chris Ogbonnaya (1%), Cleveland

Healthy running backs are pretty tough to come by in Cleveland right now.  Peyton Hillis has missed the last two weeks with a hamstring injury, and backup Montario Hardesty is headed for a MRI on his calf after leaving Sunday’s game.  Ogbonnaya was just signed a couple weeks ago, but he has five receptions in each of his two games with the Browns and ran for 37 yards on 11 carries against the 49ers.  The Cleveland running game hasn’t been too impressive so far this year, but assuming Hillis and/or Hardesty are limited or out, Ogbonnaya stands to be a potential flex option this week, particularly in PPR leagues.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Waiver Wire Pickups: Wide Receiver

Torrey Smith (48%), Baltimore

Smith still hasn’t shown great hands and will continue to be inconsistent, but if Joe Flacco could actually hit him in stride more than once a game, the big play ability is there.  That said, I don’t love the matchup with Pittsburgh this week, but given Baltimore’s remaining schedule, there will be some weeks when you’ll want to roll the dice and get him in your lineup.

Steve Breaston (40%), Kansas City

Similar to Cassel, there’s a lot to like about his upcoming schedule, particularly given his consistency in recent weeks.

Michael Crabtree (40%), San Francisco

I’ve been hyping Crabtree for a few weeks now, and on Sunday he came through with his first touchdown of the season to go with five receptions and 54 yards.  His foot continues to look healthy, and his rapport with Alex Smith is growing.  Crabtree now has at least five receptions in three of the last four weeks and has a number of favorable matchups over the latter half of the season.

Doug Baldwin (28%), Seattle

Like anyone who watched or attended it, Baldwin just wanted to forget about his week seven game against Cleveland.  He bounced back this week after being shutout against the Browns, catching five passes for 73 yards in a loss to Cincinnati.  Baldwin has at least five catches in three of the last four games and will continue to factor prominently in the Seattle passing game (yes, that actually exists) given what seems to be solid chemistry with Tarvaris Jackson.

Early Doucet (24%), Arizona

For the most part, the yardage hasn’t been there for Doucet, but he does have a TD grab in each of the last two games.  As I mentioned with Kolb, the matchup against St. Louis is enticing, which makes Doucet a possible one week fill-in if you are in a bind.

Damian Williams (2%), Tennessee

Williams has shown decent chemistry with Matt Hasselbeck after Kenny Britt went down, catching TD passes in weeks four and five and posting 60 yards against the Colts on Sunday.  Hasselbeck is really spreading the ball around, so no one player is going to assume Britt’s role as the go-to guy.  Still, Williams is a decent red zone target and has a few good matchups left on the slate.

Greg Salas (1%), St. Louis

After a less than inspiring start to his NFL career, Salas continues to play well out of the slot in St. Louis.  He caught five passes for 47 yards and seems to have put his early drops behind him.  As I mentioned with Bradford, the schedule gets much easier, making Salas an intriguing option in PPR leagues.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Waiver Wire Pickups: Tight End

Jake Ballard (30%), New York Giants

Ballard is now averaging 60 receiving yards with a pair of touchdowns over the past four weeks.  The Patriots have shown vulnerability against the pass, and tight ends have done some damage against them in their last two games.  At this point, Ballard doesn’t look like a flash in the pan and is firmly entrenched as a TE2 going forward.

Scott Chandler (26%), Buffalo

After posting four catches for nine yards over the last three games, it seemed that the honeymoon was over for Chandler owners.  He caught just two passes on Sunday, but both went for touchdowns in Buffalo’s win over the Redskins.  Despite his gaudy TD total, Chandler has more than two receptions just once this season, making him a risky play against a Jets defense that has allowed only one score to opposing tight ends.

Marcedes Lewis (22%), Jacksonville (bye)

Even after his four-catch, 45-yard performance on Sunday, he’s not a guy to run out and grab.  However, the Jags made a concerted effort to get him the ball with nine targets, which is a good sign for one of last season’s breakout performers at the position.

Brent Celek (10%), Philadelphia

After a disappointing 2010 season and a painfully slow start to this one, Celek caught seven passes for 94 yards and a score against Dallas Sunday night.  He now has a touchdown in two straight games and faces a Bears defense that has been vulnerable to opposing tight ends this season, allowing an average of over six receptions and 70 yards per game with six touchdowns.

Streaming Defense(s) of the Week

Atlanta (20%) at Indianapolis

At this point of the season, I think it goes without saying that you want to grab the defense facing Indy.

Kansas City (19%) vs. Miami

The Chiefs showed against Oakland that they can take advantage of poor offensive line and quarterback play against an inferior team.  That formula should work again versus the Dolphins, who almost forgot to suck for Luck on Sunday.

Update: The Week 9 Start/Sit column is posted. Check it out.

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Have any questions or feedback?  Leave them in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter (@andybottoms).

Regardless, Falcons fans – at least four them anyway – have their struggling quarterback’s back, support that they manifest with quite possibly the lamest fan headgear in NFL history.

Here are…the Iceheads!

Credit to Reddit for the screencap and for posting about the absurdity of these “hats”. I was also quite amused by this comment on the thread:

So… is there some joke about ‘ice’ at play here, or are they simply admitting to being meth heads?

Losing in the NFL will make fans do pretty crazy things, but let’s hope that the team’s putrid 2-3 start hasn’t compelled any Falcons fans to turn to meth for comfort. Seriously. The city of Philadelphia needs all the meth it can get right now.

There isn’t anything else that can be said about these Iceheads that isn’t perfectly summed up by the expression on the face of the Packers fan who had the unfortunate privilege of sitting in front right in front of these Matty Ryan loving bros.

Only one team’s fans get to wear silly headgear without being mocked or ridiculed damnit: Packers fans. And we protect our own here at MSF.

So to these four Falcons fans I’ll just say rise up…those silly hats off of our head, and leave the cheesy headgear to the fans who have earned it.

Packers-Falcons Preview

Green Bay Packers

The Packers’ offense is one of the top in the NFL, which directly correlates to the success of many fantasy teams, including my own. Aaron Rodgers leads the league in QB rating, is second in touchdowns with 12, and has the highest completion percentage in the NFL at 73.1%.

The least amount of the points the Packers have scored in a game this year is 27, which came in their Week 3 win over the Bears.

The problem has to do with the defense. The Green Bay defense has allowed 23 or more points in three of the first four games of the season, and they have the 31st rated pass defense in the NFL. The offense has been able to bail out the lack of defense so far, but the Falcons are capable of putting up big numbers. The key will be the turnover battle.

Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons are 2-2 in a very winnable division in the NFC South. They have already played on Sunday Night Football in Week 2, in a game which saw them beat the disappointing Eagles in a 35-31 game.

The Falcons have been a completely different team since their Week 1 loss to the Bears, in which the score was 30-12. They have the tenth ranked rush defense in the NFL, along with the eleventh ranked pass offense.

This game is much more important for Atlanta, as a loss would put them at 2-3. Their next four games are against the Panthers, Lions, Colts, and Saints. Three of those are tough games, with the exception of the game against the Colts. However, with the way Indy played against the Bucs on Monday night, they might not be as bad as previously thought.

Packers-Falcons Prediction

The Packers are the best team in football right now, and it is tough to pick against them until they prove they are mortal and lose a game. That is why I see them going into Atlanta and beating the Falcons. Matt Ryan has done nothing too special this season, and his top receiver, Roddy White, has had a problem with dropped passes all year.

The Falcons have a great rush defense, which means the Packers will be passing often, and with success.

Prediction: Packers 31 | Falcons 17

• Packers-Falcons Spread Pick: Packers -5.5
• Packers-Falcons Over-Under Pick: Under

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Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons Game Info

• Packers-Falcons Date, Time, and TV: Sunday, October 9th at 8:20 ET on NBC
• Packers-Falcons Announcers: Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth
• Packers-Falcons Point Spread: Packers -5.5
• Packers-Falcons Over-Under Odds: 54

We don’t like them, but the players do need their rest.  With the rest periods starting now, there are some crucial decisions that need to be made regarding your roster.

Who is going to fill in for Ray Rice?  Issac Redman can’t carry the load for an injured Mendenhall…can he?  And so many more.

Now is the time that we want to highlight players who might be on your bench or floating around on waivers waiting to be picked up in hopes that he can provide that stopgap service.  Everyone knows that Jason Witten is good for your health but how about Brandon Pettigrew?

There are questions galore to be answered in the Week 5 stock report.

Fantasy Football Week 5 Stock Report: Stocks Up

Matt Hasselbeck

Going up against a Steelers defense is something that no quarterback wants to deal with.  Taking out Chris Johnson is a natural part of the game plan but what about the passing game?  Most people project the game to be close and even if it is, the Titans will have to throw the ball to keep it that way; but if it isn’t and Pittsburgh gets out to a big home lead, the ball could be thrown all over the place.

Mark Sanchez

Now before you hang, draw, and quarter this installment of the fantasy stock report, just give it a chance.  I did have Mark’s stock down last week and that horrid -4 point performance came along, but for some reason it is up this time.  The reason is that the New England defense is really bad right now in terms of fantasy, scoring a total of FOUR points for the entire year thus far.  The Jets need a spark on offense and if it is to come from anybody, it has to be Sanchez.

Michael Bush

Keep a few things in consideration.  There are a lot of teams that are on bye weeks that have major fantasy RBs and Bush almost always gets touches down around the goal-line.  Add to that the fact that the Raiders will be trying to use the running game to slow down that Houston offense, nd he could prove to be fairly valuable.

Isaac Redman-*

That is an asterisk for the simple fact that teammate Rashard Mendenhall may or may not play this week.  If Redman is the starter, he does possess the skills to help the Steelers offense remain respectable.

Jonathan Stewart

Carries between Stewart and Williams have been split pretty evenly this year, but the Panthers seem to involve Stewart in the passing game a little more.  It is very possible that the Saints will jump out to a 14-0 lead within the first 10 minutes of the game leaving the projection to pan out.

Eric Decker

If you haven’t been drinking the Kool-Aid, then the time to do so would be now.  Things are changing in Denver and fast.  Anybody who has a hot-streak going for them will be seeing some playing time.  Averaging five catches per game, Decker has been receiving a lot of attention from quarterback Kyle Orton which is proving to be well deserved.

Johnny Knox

Until the Bears give Jay Cutler some time to throw the ball, this passing game is going to be inconsistent at best.  Having said that, if there is one receiver that Chicago can, well actually has to rely on as a downfield threat, that would be Johnny Knox because the play of the other wide-outs on the roster is very weak.

Brandon Pettigrew

As the Detroit Lions attempt to prove that they have a balanced offense when teams decide to send the cavalry at Calvin Johnson in the red-zone, Pettigrew has already proven he can be reliable in the passing game, which should help him finally score a touchdown.

Bengals D/ST

It is very surprising as to why this defense doesn’t receive more attention than it already does.  This unit doesn’t intercept passes very often, but it will recover a couple fumbles and keep the opposing team from scoring a lot of points.  Another case for the underrated defense is the fact that they have rookie Blaine Gabbert on the schedule.  If you have the Ravens defense, these guys could serve as a decent one week option.

Fantasy Football Week 5 Stock Report: Stocks Down

Ryan Fitzpatrick

It’s no secret that the Eagles have been struggling as a team, but the pass defense can’t take all the blame when the unit doesn’t do a good job stopping the run.  As for Fitzpatrick, those first three games came against some poor defenses.  Once he went up a decent Bengals D, the numbers dropped a little.  Now the stock isn’t exactly in the dumps but a number in the neighborhood of 10-12 should be expected.

Josh Freeman

Freeman tends to stay solid regardless of the situation on the field, but this San Francisco defense is good, especially against teams that lack playmakers.  The Bucs are one of those teams.  Not that any respect should be taken away from Freeman but in the fantasy world, where individual stats matter, teammates are important as well.

Marshawn Lynch

Now who is guilty of drafting Lynch just because of the touchdown run against the Saints last year?  Well, he actually does have some value because he is the only guy in the Seattle backfield that has the ability to start week in and week out.  The problem is the two straight road games in the Eastern Time zone that west coast teams usually have a problem with.  Besides, the Seahawks have trouble moving the ball as a whole.  So if they don’t score, he won’t.

New York Jets RB’s

If the Jets want to have a remote chance at slowing down the Pats’ aerial assault, then the ground game is going to have to be clicking on all cylinders.  That’s the problem; it hasn’t all year.  Only averaging a dismal 71 yards a game, things look grim; and if Nick Mangold doesn’t play, the situation could be worse.

Denarius Moore

As a receiver Moore is most likely the best on the team, but after Heyward-Bey’s 115 yard game I can only think of one thing.  Al Davis to Jason Campbell, “throw him the damn ball!”  One must hope the play calling will do what is best for the team and throw to who can get open and actually CATCH the ball.

Marques Colston

Don’t take this an ax to his fantasy value, but expecting a lot of points this week could be wishful thinking.  The Saints have more than enough talent on the roster to work Colston in slowly and besides, even on the road the Panthers don’t look like a daunting matchup.

Falcons D/ST

This is the team that put a fair amount of eggs into the basket of one Ray Edwards to help boost a pass rush that was more than weak last year.  Did they forget that Edwards was a great compliment to Jared Allen, not literally Jared Allen?  Aside from that, Aaron Rodgers is coming to town and we all remember what he was able to do in the dome during the playoffs.

Jets D/ST

All the grumbling about whether or not the Jets are for real could be answered this week.  All of the defensive touchdowns scored by the Ravens can’t be blamed on the defense but the stat-line still reads, 64 points over the last two games.  Rex thinks he can slow down Tom Brady but that isn’t likely in New England.  Expect an old western shootout on

30 years from now when the next generation of kids are watching highlights from the 2011 season, they will randomly see players wearing pink, and unless the NFL continues this practice forever, they won’t know why. The great thing about highlights from the 60s and 70s is that teams always looked the same. They were the definition of uniform.

Nowadays each team has at least one throwback or alternate uniform that they wear periodically throughout the season. And while they look great, it messes with continuity. I realize that the extra uniforms bring in racks on racks on racks of extra money each season, but they need to do away with it. Teams should be forced to pick one uniform design – one home, one away – and stick with it. If the throwback uniforms are such a hit and look better than the default uniforms, then switch back.

On to the Week 5 Power Rankings.

1. Green Bay Packers 4-0

As a courtesy to both myself and the readers of MSF, I am going to stop writing about the Packers each week until they lose. For now, our resident cheesehead, Amanda Lawson, will be filling this spot. Take it away Amanda.

MSF's own Amanda Lawson, in a picture lifted from her Facebook account without permission, sporting her favorite head gear

“Ahhh the Packers. The Green and Gold offense is on fire, and it doesn’t look like they are about to cool down any time soon. All the Aaron Rodgers haters are at a loss for words after his stellar performance on Sunday. The momentum is building and this powerhouse in clearing a path of excellence. I was once told that winning is boring. Losing is so much worse.”

(Note: I was the one who said winning is boring. It’s true. Watching your rival team win all the time is the most boring thing in the world. Thanks Amanda.)

2. Baltimore Ravens 3-1

Can we change Joe “Footsteps” Flacco’s last name to Falco? The way he played on Sunday night is how I imagined Keanu Reeves’ character played in the 1996 Sugar Bowl for Ohio State in The Replacements. I’m also curious to see how well Joe Flacco can throw a metal ball under water.

I can’t believe it has already been 11 years since that movie came out. It was the first movie I bought on DVD. Did you know the players wore Under Armour in the movie and that Roy Anderson played the deaf tight end? Crazy.

3. New Orleans Saints 3-1

The Saints have a legitimate chance at being 15-1 this season, or at least 13-3. They have a solid history against the teams in their own division over the past few years, and their toughest non-division game lies at home against Detroit in Week 13, and who knows what kind of shape Matt Stafford will be in by then. Do I think they are going to go 15-1? No. But their schedule says they could.

4. Detroit Lions 4-0

Too bad the Lions don’t have any real fans who could provide actual content and opinions about them on this site. HAH! TAKE THAT DETROIT!

I hate Detroit sports, but I love their music.

5. New England Patriots 3-1

What would be the football equivalent of the 2011 Red Sox collapse you ask? How could it happen to the 2011 Patriots? I actually know the answer to this: the 2003 Minnesota Vikings.

That team started the season 6-0, went 3-7 to finish the year, and got knocked out of the playoffs on a last second, fourth down touchdown by Nate Poole of the Arizona Cardinals.

Make it happen sports gods.

6. Houston Texans 3-1

A win over the Steelers is an important win for a team looking to prove to everyone that they should be mentioned among the leagues best, but realistically they should have won by about four touchdowns. At least Arian Foster looks like he’s healthy again. Good for the Texans, bad for the AFC South.

7. San Diego Chargers 3-1

This is the most frustrating team ever. Number one overall offense and defense last year and didn’t make the playoffs. Have all of this talent and such a “high powered offense”, and yet they can’t seem to pull away from bad teams like Minnesota, Kansas City and Miami. Even though they are sitting at seven this week, I am down on this team.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-1

What is that? Vikings fan? Me? Who told you that? No no no no no. When I was a kid I owned a Warrick Dunn jersey and had one of those Tampa Bay Buccaneers pullover Starter jackets. When I played football, I pretended I was John Lynch. Mike Alstott ranks only behind Leroy Hoard as the NFL’s greatest fullback ever. Hell, I even wrote about Josh Freeman being league MVP. I even mentioned it last week too. I’m a Buccaneers fan dammit! HAIL BUCCANEERS!!!

My “analytic take” on the Buccaneers after Week 4: they are going to have an ugly October. Mixing pink with their team colors? Gross. It just doesn’t work. Down right ugly if you ask me.

9. Buffalo Bills 3-1

Was the last second loss to the Bengals a product of fatigue following two emotional, late game wins against Oakland and New England or a sign of what they really are – a run-of-the-mill overachieving team coming back down to Earth?

10. New York Giants 3-1

How crazy is this Victor Cruz story line?

Last year the guy catches three spectacular touchdowns in one preseason game and is all anyone can talk about for two weeks, then he contributes zero production to the Giants last year. Now all of a sudden he reappears last week when he made two Eagle defenders smash into each other en route to a long touchdown, and then this week he somehow gets away with blatantly fumbling the ball and allows the Giants to win another close game. I can’t wait to see what comes next with this guy.

11. Washington Redskins 3-1

I didn’t watch the Redskins game this weekend because I like to watch good football (Vikings games don’t count, I have to watch those), but I can’t imagine that they look good wearing pink either. I love the gold pants though, those things are classic.

That win helped mask the fact that Rex Grossman looked like Rex Grossman again. Sorry Redskins fans.

12. Chicago Bears 2-2

The Bears and Lions play each other on Monday Night Football this week. To celebrate, I would just like to remind you all that instead of Tyler Juranovich gushing about how much Jay Cutler dominates on a weekly basis, we’ll also get Jon Gruden obsessively talking about how “gritty” and “gutty” and “drunk looking” he is for three hours. I’m so glad I watch MNF on mute.

13. Tennessee Titans 3-1

Chris Johnson finally rushed for over 100 yards in a game and the Titans are surprisingly tied for first place in the AFC South. Unfortunately they have played teams that would probably struggle against Big Ten teams this year, excluding the Ravens of course. Not sure how that one happened. Actually, I do. “Footsteps” Flacco happened. Expect them to slip once they play some legitimate teams.

14. San Francisco 49ers 3-1

Maybe this actually is a good team? Or is Philadelphia really just struggling that much? Alex Smith is looking kind of good so far. By that I mean for Alex Smith’s standards, which is basically slightly above average. At least he’s a better option right now than Donovan McNabb.

15. Oakland Raiders 2-2

Before this past weekend I thought the Raiders would be able to beat the Patriots at home and make a legitimate run to win the AFC West. Even with the loss, and boy was it ugly, I still think they can win the division. The NFL is just better when the Raiders are winning.

16. New York Jets 2-2

I know you are all expecting some sort of Rex Ryan or Mark Sanchez joke, but I’ve got nothing. I’ve got Antonio Cromartie jokes, but that is for next week.

17. Atlanta Falcons 2-2

The best part of the Falcons being a middle of the pack team this year? Room for my Buccaneers to make the playoffs!

18. Pittsburgh Steelers 2-2

The best part of the Steelers being a middle of the pack team this year? Potential room for the Bills to make the playoffs!

19. Dallas Cowboys 2-2

For as much as I am sick of hearing about Tony Romo and his ability to not win a close game, I will never get sick of watching him blow a late lead. It’s a real Catch 22. I hate the Cowboys but love when they lose and cause pain to their “fans”. I realize that is mean to say, and I have a few friends who are Cowboys fans, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

20. Philadelphia Eagles 1-3

For all you college football experts, is Robert Griffin III a better version of Vince Young? Maybe he IS Vince Young, because seriously, has anyone seen him? At all? Where the hell did he go?

21. Cincinnati Bengals 2-2

Dalton to Green has produced 312 yards and three touchdowns already in four weeks and the Bengals are .500. Who said rookies can’t produce?

On a completely unrelated note, 21 years into my life and I still can’t spell Cincinnati correctly on the first try. I don’t think I’ll ever learn. I also can’t say “polish sausage” correctly. Is that just me, or is the “sh” suffix impossible to say when it precedes a word that starts with an “s”? Might just be one of those mental block things.

22. Cleveland Browns 2-2

They got an absolute butt kicking at home against the Titans on Sunday, but maybe that’s what they need. Young teams need to get the shit beat out of them every once and a while. Too much of a good thing can lead to destruction under pressure. Then again, too much of a bad thing, in this case ass kickings at home, can be discouraging to a young team. You want young teams to learn tough lessons and build on them, not learn tough lessons and get used to them.

Regardless, they still have one of the best jerseys in the league. Alas, they join Washington and Tampa Bay in the “not looking good in pink” category. You ever see someone walk around wearing brown, orange and pink? No. There’s a reason for that.

23. Arizona Cardinals 1-3

While not really in the running to be a sleeper team in 2011 anymore, they still have a chance to be a playoff team thanks to their shitty division. Who would have thunk it right? (Hint: me)

24. Carolina Panthers 1-3

Am I the only one who is glad we don’t have to talk about Cam Newton anymore? Is he doing a great job in Carolina? Absolutely. I love that he has resurrected Steve Smith’s career, but I want to see him win more than one game before he takes up half of my sports talk radio segments. Wins > passing yards.

25. Seattle Seahawks 1-3

Never again do I want to see that Tarvaris Jackson has over 300 yards passing and three touchdowns and instantly wish that my football team had him at the helm. It’s a terrible feeling. I wish it upon no one.

26. Kansas City Chiefs 1-3

The Chiefs got knocked around pretty hard in the first two weeks of the season, but I’ll give them credit. They have played a pretty solid last six quarters. I think what we’ve learned from Kansas City this year is what positions in the NFL are the most important. Obviously a competent quarterback and above average/Pro Bowl wide receiver are higher on the priority list than running back. And are 4-3 defensive ends/3-4 outside linebackers more important than an all-pro safety? Discuss.

27. St. Louis Rams 0-4

Ugh. I thought this team was supposed to be fun to watch this year. Even I could get past the Rams offensive line right now, and I have asthma and an ingrown toenail. And yes, that is the lamest excuse you will hear from anyone as to why they are out of shape, but hey, I don’t care. It is what it is.

28. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-3

How did Jacksonville get two Monday Night Football games this year? Were they good last year and I just missed it? And speaking of Jacksonville, why is the abbreviation JAX? There is no “x” in Jacksonville. It never fails to confuse me when I have to spell out Jacksonville. I propose a vote to change it to JAC.

29. Denver Broncos 1-3

Roger Goodell should implement a rule that if the Broncos are going to draft Andrew Luck in the 2012 draft, they have to go back to the Orange Crush jerseys and logo. He should also probably check Knowshon Moreno’s water bottle.

30. Minnesota Vikings 0-4

The Minnesota Vikings spot in these rankings will be reserved for non-Vikings thoughts for the rest of the year because I have nothing left to say about this team. This week: drunk girls alone at the bar.

On Friday night a group of my friends went out to the bar and saw a relatively attractive girl (so it seemed at the time, turned out she really wasn’t) drinking by herself at the bar. It was 7pm so we figured she had just got there and was waiting for her friends. Then it got to be 8pm and she was still alone. We were a little drunk at by then ($.30 beers go down so smooth, you guys) and we figured it would be a good time to go learn this girl’s story. Just as we were about to approach her, she reached out, grabbed a random dude’s ass, then stood up to walk and almost fell over taking a right hand turn. I’ve never sat back down in my seat so fast.

Drunk girl then went out to the dance floor and proceeded to get jiggy with it. By herself. At 8:30pm. I am not exaggerating when I say that the entire bar stopped what they were doing, stood up, and watched her dance. The bar full of attention only added fuel to the fire. Bravo lonely drunk lady, you had us all at your fingertips. She was loving it, and so were we, but for a completely different reason.

Lesson learned. Lonely drunk girls are probably drunk and alone for a reason.

31. Miami Dolphins 0-4

Serious question. What kind of pizza would it take for Miami to trade Reggie Bush away in real life? My guess is either Hawaiian or Meat Lovers. Though if it gets too close to the trade deadline, I’m sure they would settle for pepperoni. Everyone loves pepperoni pizza.

32. Indianapolis Colts 0-4

I want to see Peyton Manning on my TV for only two reasons: playing football and doing funny things on SNL. Not cheering in a press box while Curtis Painter is playing quarterback.

Oh, and then there is this from last night in case you all missed it. Ow. Get well soon.

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[Editor's note: If you can't get enough of Power Rankings, don't forget to check out this week's "Suck 4 Luck" Power Rankings, which handicaps the NFL's race to the bottom in 2011.]