This is the first post in Kurt’s epic quest to identify the NFL’s Ultimate Franchise Player. For an explanation of his methodology for choosing each franchise’s ultimate franchise player, and then how you and he will choose the NFL’s Ultimate Franchise Player from that list, click here.

To see all the posts in this series, of which there will be one for every franchise, click here.

The roots of the Arizona Cardinals go back further than any National Football League franchise, being founded by Chicago’s Morgan Athletic Club in 1898 – having no idea that more then a century later the outfit would be playing in a retractable-roofed stadium in the middle of the Arizona desert.

The Cardinals got their handle in 1915 after being given maroon hand-me-downs from the University of Chicago that had faded significantly in color. The franchise took the Route 66 road to their eventual home over the space of several generations, starting at Chicago’s Comiskey Park from the early 1920’s through 1959 before relocating to St. Louis and eventually Arizona in 1988.

As charter members of the National Football League in 1920, there is obviously a lot of quantity to choose from for my first installment of the NFL’s Ultimate Franchise Player series. Unfortunately, the Cardinals franchise is perhaps one of the most perennially-losing outfits in the history of professional sports.

The Cardinals have only won two NFL titles in 90+ seasons: a disputed title in 1925 (pre title game era) and then in 1947. By far the Cards most recent success was catching lightning in a bottle following the 2008 regular season and nearly winning Super Bowl 43.

There is no member the NFL Network’s list of the Top 100 all-time NFL players (which aired in 2010) who played the majority of his career with the Cardinals. But someone from the all-time Cardinals roster will make history by being named the franchise’s ‘best ever’ and earning the first automatic bid to our eventual 64-player field to determine pro football’s Ultimate Franchise Player.

Yes, this is going to be far better than your typical 32-page, solicitation interrupted slideshow…

THOSE DESERVING CONSIDERATION

Charley Trippi/Pat Harder – (Late 1940’s)

During their tenure in Chicago, the Cards were most relevant immediately following World War II. In a quest to win an NFL title (along with a Kentucky Derby), owner Charley Bidwell went out to acquire a ‘dream backfield’, two of the most prominent members being Trippi and Harder.

Trippi was the unofficial MVP of the 1947 NFL title game, scoring on a 44-yard run and 75-yard punt return on an icy field. Trippi is still alive today at age 90.

Also a legend in University of Wisconsin football history, Harder was the first NFL player to record over 100 points in three consecutive seasons, in part due to his contributions as place-kicker. Harder would later become a game official in the NFL.

Ollie Matson (RB – 1952-58)

One of pro football’s first African-American stars, Matson was a six-time All-Pro in his seven years with the team. Matson would go on to play 15 years in the NFL in all, and he was also a two-time track medalist at the 1952 Summer Olympics.

Roy Green (CB/WR – 1979-90)

‘Jet Stream’ Green began his career on defense and tied a league record with a 106-yard kickoff return as a rookie. Not long after, Green moved to offense and would go on to average 19.9 yards per catch over a 12-year career, scoring 26 touchdowns in the 1983-84 seasons.

Mel Gray (WR 1971-82)

Not to be confused with the 1990’s Detroit Lions return specialist, Gray was a deep threat during the Don Coryall era in St. Louis. As a high-schooler in 1967, Gray ran the 100-yard dash in 9.4 seconds, a national record that would stand for 12 years.

Terry Metcalf (RB 1973-77)

One of the more dynamic return men of his era, Metcalf recorded 2,462 all-purpose yards in a 14-game season in 1975, a year in which St. Louis made the playoffs. Metcalf left the Cards after five seasons to take a money grab in the Canadian Football League before playing one final year with the Washington Redskins in 1981.

Son Eric Metcalf would go on to have a 14-year career in the NFL from 1989-2002.

Jim Hart (QB 1966-83)

For over half of the team’s 28-year run in St. Louis, Jim Hart was the Cardinals’ QB. The peak of Hart’s career came in 1974-77, in which he was a Pro Bowl selection all four years.

Normally a quarterback with a 19-year career (Hart would play one final year as a backup with the Redskins) would have merited more run, but Hart’s career was more steady than spectacular, and he only had a career completion % of 51.1.

When thinking of 1970’s era QB’s, names like Griese, Staubach, Stabler, and Bradshaw (who all won championships) come to mind. Hart’s career rivals more of that of Ken Anderson or Joe Ferguson.

Neil Lomax (QB 1981-89)

He first gained notoriety as a collegian putting up video game-like numbers in what would become known as the Run and Shoot offense at Division 2 Portland State.

In 1984, Lomax was a poor-man’s Dan Marino, throwing for over 4,600 yards and 28 touchdowns.

A degenerative hip (that would eventually be replaced) short-circuited Lomax’s career after eight seasons.

Ottis Anderson (RB 1979-86)

The eighth overall draft pick out of the University of Miami, O.J. Anderson rushed for 193 yards in his first NFL game, and he would end up eclipsing 1,600 yards on the ground as a rookie. With the exception of the 1982 strike season,

Ottis would go over 1,000 yards in each of his first six seasons. Injuries curtailed Ottis’s productiveness, and was eventually released by the Cards in 1986. Anderson would have a career resurgence with the New York Giants, leading the team to its Super Bowl 25 victory.

In all, Ottis ended up with a 14-year career, much longer than your typical running back.

Jim Thorpe (1929)

He was possibly the best athlete of the 20^th Century, period. Thorpe won the decathlon and pentathlon at the 1912 Summer Olympics, thought the medals were ultimately vacated (but reinstated in 1983) upon discovery that Thorpe had moonlighted playing semi-pro baseball. Thorpe wound up playing Major League Baseball, barnstormed with a basketball team, and played for many professional football teams, including the Cardinals and New York Giants.

Thorpe is a member of the NFL’s All-1920’s team and made his largest contributions in vastly increased gates on the teams he played on. Thorpe is ranked #37 on the NFL Network’s Top-100 countdown, and that may be a high enough RPI to get Thorpe eventually included in our 64-player tourney.

Dick ‘Night Train’ Lane (DB 1952-65)

Undrafted and not satisfied with his job at an aircraft facility, Lane showed up at Los Angeles Rams training camp in 1952 and wound up intercepting 14 passes that season. Lane would split the final twelve years of his career between the Chicago Cardinals and Detroit Lions.

In 1999 Lane would  be ranked #19 in The Sporting News rank of all-time top pro football players, and the NFL Network’s countdown had him at #34. Again those are numbers that could be worthy of an eventual at-large selection – although Roger Goodell probably would not approve of Night Train’s head-high tackles under today’s rule package.

Pat Tillman (DB 1998-2001)

Pat Tillman holds a special place in the hearts of many, and since his passing on a battlefield in Afghanistan in 2004, some have called for his induction in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It would not be the worst move the HOF selection committee could possibly make.

A standout on the football field, Tillman’s sacrifice to the game to serve in the United States military and eventually pay the ultimate price goes down as his lasting legacy.

THE FINAL FIVE

Dan Dierdorf (RT 1971-83)

Today, Dierdorf is more known as a broadcaster (in which he is also now in the Hall of Fame) than as a player. But as a mainstay lineman in the 1970s Dierdorf was money, being part of an offensive line that only allowed eight sacks in the entire 1975 season.

Image credit: Neil Leifer

Dierdorf allowed a sack in a 1975 Divisional Playoff game, and did not allow another until Week 1 of the 1978 season. In all, Dierdorf was a five-time All-Pro selection.

Larry Wilson (FS 1970-82)

The architect of what today is known as the safety blitz. Nicknamed ‘Wildcat’, the blitz became Wilson’s calling card early in his career and his signature. Wilson also was not bad dropping back in coverage, intercepting 52 passes in his career, at least one coming with casts on each arm from two broken wrists.

An eight-time All-Pro selection over a nine-year span from 1963-1971. Wilson remained with the organization from 1973-2002 in a variety of capacities, including scouting, personnel, VP/General Manager, and even a turn as interim head coach.

Roger Wehrli (CB 1969-82)

Crank up some more vintage 1970s NFL Films music. A standout at the University of Missouri, a pre-draft 40-yard timing of 4.5 vaulted Wehrli to the 19^th overall pick in the 1969 NFL Draft, and like Wilson and Dierdorf, he played his entire career with the Cardinals.

According to division rival Roger Staubach, Wehrli originated the phrase ‘shutdown corner.’ For his career, Wehrli had 40 interceptions and 19 fumble recoveries and was a five-time All-Pro selection. He also served as the team’s holder.

Larry Fitzgerald (WR 2004-present)

Fitzgerald vaults up onto the short-list after one of his finest seasons yet, 1,411 receiving yards and a 17.6 yard average, nearly four yards above his career average. It’s absolutely scary what he could do if the Cards had a real quarterback – well just think back to the final quarter of Super Bowl 43 to get an idea.

With a good 4-5 years left in his career, Larry may very well cement his legacy as the Cards best ever player by 2015-16.

Kurt Warner (QB 2005-09)

Of my final five, the previous four have played every down of their careers with the Cards, accounting for 48 years combined. Warner only wore red for five years, starting 57 regular season games, but it is during that time that Warner made the franchise relevant for one of the few times since moving to Arizona in 1988 and brought the team to within a whisper of a World Championship.

Warner is ranked #68 overall by Pro Football Reference’s Elo-Rater. Complicating Warner’s candidacy though is that he split his career between the Cards and Rams (and Giants), and is unlikely to earn a nomination as Rams best-ever player or an at-large selection into the 64-player field.

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE

I couldn’t have possibly picked a tougher task for my first automatic bid.

Dierdorf, Wilson, and Wehrli were all franchise players I enjoyed watching growing up. Fitzgerald and Warner represent a more recent era, with Larry Fitzgerald on track to being a Hall of Fame receiver and Warner perhaps getting a call from Canton in as soon as three years time.

Pro Football Reference has Wilson ranked #145, Dierdorf #163, Wehrli #204, and Fitzgerald #233 (but he should be much higher in my opinion).

I’m going to hedge on future results as well as the past here.

My selection as the Cardinals’ Ultimate Franchise Player is…

LARRY FITZGERALD

Stay tuned for the next installment of MSF’s Ultimate NFL Franchise Player Tournament.

Did you know that since the NFL realigned into eight divisions in 2002 that only one divisions has had at least one team in the divisional round of the playoffs every year? This is fact. Can you guess which division it is?

If you said the NFC West, then you my friend are better at filtering out mainstream media platitudes* than most.

Despite the oft-heard refrain that the NFC West is worse than the Mountain West, the division has had pretty good playoff success in comparison to its moribund reputation.

* – Full disclosure: I’ve been guilty of regurgitating the “NFC West sucks” refrain myself. So I am posting this, in part, as an apology to a division that I must admit has had a little more consistent success than I anticipated.

For the record, here are the number of years each division has had at least one participant in the divisional round since realignment (via Wikipedia):

• NFC West – 10
• NFC South – 9
• NFC East – 9
• NFC North – 9
• AFC East – 9
• AFC South – 9
• AFC North – 8
• AFC West – 8

If we take it a step further, here are the number of years that each division has had at least one participant in its conference’s championship game:

• NFC South – 6
• AFC East – 6
• NFC East – 5
• AFC South – 4
• AFC North – 4
• NFC North – 3
• AFC West – 3
• NFC West – 2

So clearly the NFC West has had much more success in the Wild Card round or in getting a first round bye than they have in the divisional round.

BUT…the NFC West is 2-0 in the NFC Championship Game. This is good news for the 49ers: just beat the Saints and history suggests they are marching on the Super Bowl.

Also, if San Francisco does make it to the Super Bowl, it will mean that three of the four NFC West teams have made it to the Super Bowl since realignment; and, for what it’s worth, the Rams won the Super Bowl the year before realignment.

Here is a list of how many different teams from each division have made the Super Bowl since realignment:

• NFC South – 3
• NFC East – 2
• NFC West – 2
• NFC North – 2
• AFC East – 1
• AFC South – 1
• AFC North – 1
• AFC West – 1

What does all of this mean? Not much, other than to prove the point that I bet the NFC West has had more playoff success than most people remember considering how often the division is poo-pooed. Even last year, the nadir of the NFC West in which a 7-9 team made the playoffs, that 7-9 team still pulled a big upset and made the divisional round.

Just remember the next time someone states how awful the NFC West is. It’s not nearly as bad as you think!

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Hat tip to Reddit, especially redditor wineteeth, for the initial stat that inspired this post and the image.

Matt Flynn, Matthew Stafford Have Record-Setting Day in Lambeau

By throwing for 520 yards in a losing effort, Stafford became the third NFL QB to throw for 5,000 yards this year, joining Drew Brees and Tom Brady. Those three could be joined by Eli Manning if he throws for 413 yards for the Giants v. the Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.

Flynn threw for 480 yards and six touchdowns, BOTH GREEN BAY TEAM RECORDS. Absolutely amazing how he put his name in the Packers record books considering virtually all the games started in the last 20 years (315 games) were either by a guy named Favre or Rodgers.

That’s two QB’s, exactly 1,000 yards passing (a record-breaking 971 yards net) – and you thought Baylor v. Washington marked the end of the Mayan calendar.

And, despite resting several regulars besides Rodgers, the Packers succeeded in beating the Lions at home for a 20^th consecutive year.

Not long ago, I actually felt sorry for Detroit. Now, however, I have little sympathy for the Lions and their already tired, arrogant act. I’m looking forward to Detroit’s winless streak in the state of Wisconsin reaching the point that Rodgers will soon be throwing to receivers who were not even born when Mel Gray went off way back in 1991.

Matt Flynn (Re)Emerges…What Now?

It turns out the loss in Kansas City a couple weeks back was not the worst thing in the world to happen. Had the Pack gone into Week 17 at 15-0, Mike McCarthy would have almost been forced to start #12. This way, Matt Flynn got some very valuable playing time – and if by some off-chance Aaron were to go down during the playoffs, it is now known (and GB already knew) that there is a more than capable man waiting in relief. As Don Majkowski was a one-year wonder in 1989, Flynn is a one-game wonder (two if you count last year’s game against New England), and at the present time a better insurance policy than Rodgers could ever get from State Farm.

And to emphasize again, this was not back in the dome in Detroit, or even on a halfway mild day like most of December was in Sconnie. It was like winter suddenly realized that the calendar just turned to January, with Packer Weather – complete with high winds – finally making an appearance.

But Flynn was SO good Sunday that not only did he ultimately make himself a lot of money, but also raised a couple questions not even thinkable even after a couple of Cherry Bombs at a New Year’s Eve party 24 hours earlier…

• Is Flynn now franchise tag material? He would still eventually be shipped out of Green Bay, but not before being flipped for first-round draft choices.

• Or, if the Packers repeat as Super Bowl Champions – and with his value being at it’s absolute peak, could Ted Thompson trade Aaron Rodgers and make Flynn the 2012 starter? They could even find an organization (Dan Snyder/Redskins?) desperate enough to pull a Mike Ditka and TRADE AN ENTIRE DRAFT.

I’ll address option #2 first. If you think Rodgers is going anywhere, you are still cycling down from the New Year’s cocktails. Hypothetically, if Rodgers went down in a playoff game and GB won the Super Bowl with Flynn, then I might dare say a QB controversy would surface, and even then Rodgers is likely still the man. But then who thought Peyton Manning’s future would be questioned 12 months ago…

As for placing the franchise tag on Flynn, there is too much of a $$$ risk.  Under the new CBA, Flynn could be tendered as a non-exclusive franchise player and be offered the average salary of the five highest-salaried QBs over the past five years. The Packers would have a right to match any contract offer by other teams, or refuse and get two first-round draft picks in return. The downside is that if there are no takers the Packers are ‘stuck’ paying a #2 quarterback $15 million in 2012 (higher salary than Rodgers). In addition the franchise tag would not then be available for TE Jermichael Finley and he would likely walk.

Top 12 Potential Free Agent Destinations for Matt Flynn

Barring the above two unlikely scenarios playing out, Matt Flynn will get his starting shot somewhere else in 2012, and he is suddenly the hottest commodity on the free agent market. Here are the top-ten (actually top 12) landing spots as I see it if Flynn is an unrestricted free agent this offseason:

10.  Denver

Is Matt Flynn better long-term than Tim Tebow? You can definitely make that argument. But John Fox and John Elway are all-in on the Tebow experiment for all of 2012. If Tebow doesn’t make a leap next year, then they will be more in the QB market in 2013; but they will sit this year out.

9. Miami/Tampa Bay/Jacksonville

I throw the entire state of Florida in as a package, as all three will be undergoing major overhauls and likely all three with new coaches. Of the three, I only see the Dolphins as a halfway attractive opportunity that Flynn would actually be interested in, and vice versa.

8. Minnesota

Seeing Flynn go to the purple early in his career would be far worse than seeing Favre wind up there in his dying years. Despite a 3-13 record, some pieces would be in place with Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, and a #3 overall draft pick on board. But the Vikes are one of many teams who are already committed with a high 2011 first-round pick (Christian Ponder) so I don’t see the Twin Cities as a landing spot.

7. Tennessee

It is known that Jake Locker is a project, not unlike Tim Tebow. But it’s unlikely that the Titans will pull the plug just one year after making Locker a #8 overall pick.

6. Kansas City

The Chiefs got a good test drive with Kyle Orton and found out what the Broncos and Bears already know: nice QB, but not enough to get them to the next level. There is no dominant team in the AFC West and Dwayne Bowe is a nice #1 target.

5. New York Jets

One of these days this franchise and its fans will finally realize that Mark Sanchez is the NFL’s answer to Ryan Howard. The question is whether the organization will come to their senses this year and look into Flynn. The Jets would be a possibility considering the team is still a contender, and the fan base is demanding to the point that NY might be a player.

4. Cleveland

The Browns do not have that much invested In Colt McCoy, who also has a concussion history dating back to his Texas Longhorn days. Mike Holmgren, and the organization in general, has to make the big splash one of these off-seasons.

3. Washington

I could even put the ‘Skins as the #1 landing spot, especially if Flynn is attracted to the bright lights of the NFC East. The team may be a couple years away, but you know Dan Snyder will spend the cash.

2. Seattle

Wouldn’t be the first Green Bay understudy to eventually migrate to the Pacific Northwest – and Flynn’s name was trending in Seattle on Twitter at the peak of Sunday’s game. The Seahawks have not been bad hovering around .500 the past two years with Pete Carroll, and they definitely have a glaring QB need.

1. Arizona

Signing Kevin Kolb for 6 years/$65 million ($21 million+ guaranteed) was a bad move from the minute the Cards made the move minutes after the end of the NFL lockout. Even with John Skelton at QB, Arizona rallied to finish with an 8-8 record. Flynn could be close to what the franchise had with Kurt Warner a couple years back. The Cards should cut bait with Kolb as soon as they can. If they can do it in a way that makes financial sense this offseason, Flynn would be a better investment and instantly make Arizona instantly a player again in the NFC West.

One, you are in your league’s championship round and looking for some advice as you try to make the most important lineup decisions of the season. We congratulate you, and we’re here for you. Skip ahead and start soaking in the analysis as you go for your league’s equivalent of The Shiva.

Two, you are in your league’s semifinal round, which means that you play your championship in Week 17. We’re still happy to help you make lineup decisions, but just know that we vehemently disagree with how your league is setup and blame you personally for going along with it.

Or three, you are devastated after a bad beat in Week 15 and engaging in the masochistic act of still reading fantasy football analysis even though you have nothing left to play for. This is pathetic and you should should be ashamed of yourself. Get over it man (or woman). Still though, we feel your pain. We’ve been there. So we welcome your wandering eyes as well.

I suppose you could also be in some kind of keeper league that uses the consolation bracket to help determine next year’s draft order (something we do highly encourage as a great idea) or a league in which money is doled out for third place (a less great idea). Either way, we group you with the first set of folks who still need advice even in Week 16.

Okay, onto this week’s Start/Sit picks…for anyone and everyone who may have stumbled upon this post today.

Fantasy Football Week 16 Start em, Sit em QBs

Start Em QB – Matt Moore

Matt Moor-ino has been very solid the past seven games for which he’s been healthy, putting up at least 13 points in six of them. He’s not at all a high-profile name, but if you don’t have a top 12 QB, or Tim Tebow, I would look at giving Moore the nod in Week 16.

His best WR, Brandon Marshall, has been a TD-machine as of late, and they will also be playing the porous New England passing defense.

If you don’t have another option, look at Moore. You might even be able to pick him up off of the waiver wire.

Matt Moore fantasy football Week 16 projection: 285 passing yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT, 30 yards rushing

Other Start Em QBs:

• Tim Tebow – On the road in Buffalo…depending on weather…he may RUSH for 100 yards…and throw in a few TDs as well.
• Mike Vick and Tony Romo – Let’s just say, I don’t think there will be a lot of great defense in this game on Saturday.

Sit Em – Ryan Fitzpatrick

Hopefully, you got off of the Fitzpatrick bandwagon in week six…but he is still the #12 ranked fantasy QB and presents a LITTLE value from week to week based on matchups.

Not this week.

The Denver defense is incredibly over-rated (They are ranked 22nd overall, Tebow-haters. That’s a fact. Don’t try to argue against it.), but they have been much better against mediocre offenses. Fitzpatrick should have plenty of trouble against Denver’s speedy linebackers. Most of Buffalo’s offense has come on the ground lately, anyways…don’t expect that to change in week 16.

Ryan Fitzpatrick fantasy football Week 16 projection: 225 passing yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs

Other Sit Em QBs:

• Andy Dalton – This is not your “beginning-of-the-year-Cardinals-secondary” (stats forthcoming).
• Carson Palmer – We should all just sit him out of principle at this point, don’t you think?

Fantasy Football Week 16 Start em, Sit em QBs

Start Em RB – CJ Spiller

Spiller has had GREAT days two of the last three weeks, including his monstrous 28-point performance last week. If the weather is bad in Buffalo this weekend, look for Spiller to have another breakout.

On wet/slippery/cold fields, the offense ALWAYS has the advantage – especially shifty playmakers like CJ Spiller.

CJ Spiller fantasy football Week 16 projection: 75 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 50 yards receiving, 1 TD

Other Start Em RBs:

• Kendall Hunter – Look for Hunter (who has looked absolutely AWESOME at times) to carry a little larger load down the stretch run of the season as Jim Harbaugh tries to keep Frank Gore fresh for the post-season.
• DeAngelo Williams – Favorable matchup against Tampa Bay, and plus, doesn’t he seem to KILL everybody in the fantasy playoffs like every single year?

Sit Em RB – Marshawn Lynch

Man. What a tough one. I absolutely LOVE Beast Mode. He’s been an absolute fantasy stud the past several weeks. This brings us to the age-old quandary, “Do you play the stud, or do you sit him because of the matchup?”

98% of the time, I would say you should always play the stud. But this year’s San Francisco run defense is FAR from ordinary. Through 14 weeks games, they have not allowed one single rushing touchdown all year!

It’s possible you have NO other options at RB and are forced to start Lynch, but if you have 2 or 3 other guys you like, don’t hesitate to sit Lynch against one of the best run defenses ever – that’s not hyperbole.

Marshawn Lynch fantasy football Week 16 projection: 60 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 12 receiving yards, 0 TDs

Other Sit Em RBs:

• Mike Tolbert – I think Mathews gets most of the touches this week.
• Ryan Grant – The Bears’ defense is great, and they will keep Grant blocked in all day.

Fantasy Football Week 16 Start em, Sit em WRs

Start Em WR – Plaxico Burress

A complete hunch…but I think this is one of those weeks where he has like 4 catches for 28 yards…and TWO touchdowns.

He’s been pretty quiet lately, and the Giants will definitely be focusing on stopping the Jets’ running game. I think the Jets will counter by trying to give Sanchez some easier throws…and as bad as he is at times, Sanchez can throw that fade on the sideline very well. Look for Plax to get several looks in the red zone this week.

Plaxico Burress fantasy football Week 16 projection: 4 receptions, 28 yards, 2 TDs

Other Start Em WRs:

• DeSean Jackson, Laurent Robinson, Miles Austin, Dez Bryant – Yes, I’m predicting at least 10 points for ALL of these WRs this week.
• DeMariyus Thomas – He’s actually the #1 WR in fantasy over the last three weeks. Tebow loves him, and he should have another good day in Buffalo this week.
• Victor Cruz – Read below.

Sit Em WR – Hakeem Nicks

Darrelle Revis is an awesome CB…but he’s slightly less awesome when he has to move inside and cover the slot WR. I expect Revis to stay outside and try to shut down the Giants’ deep threat this week. Victor Cruz will be the primary beneficiary as Eli will have to check down to him constantly.

Nicks MIGHT get free on one or two deep balls, but if he doesn’t (or if he drops them when perfectly thrown, like he did last week), he will be a fantasy disappointment in Week 16.

Hakeem Nicks fantasy football Week 16 projection: 4 receptions, 45 yards, 0 TDs

Other Sit Em WRs:

• Brandon Lloyd – Against Pittsburgh AND he’s banged up AND the Rams have QB issues.
• Reggie Wayne – I’m finally turning on him…he’s just nothing without Peyton Manning. It’s a good thing it took me sixteen weeks…

Fantasy Football Week 16 Start em, Sit em TEs

Start Em Tight End – Greg Olsen

Cam LOVES his tight ends in the red zone, and look for Olsen to be the recipient this week.

Greg Olsen fantasy football Week 16 projection: 3 receptions, 40 yards, 1 TD

Sit Em Tight End – Owen Daniels

The big fella is banged up, and I expect Houston to pull him as soon as they can tonight against the Colts. If they get up big, look for all of Houston’s studs to sit.

Owen Daniels fantasy football Week 16 projection: 2 receptions, 25 yards, 0 TDs

Fantasy Football Week 16 Start em, Sit em D/STs

Start Em Defense – ARIZONA CARDINALS

This is my game-changing pick of the week.

Did you know that the Cardinals defense has been improving all year, and that in the last seven weeks, they have only allowed EIGHT touchdowns.

I’ll let you guess where that ranks, league-wide.

Anyway, they will be playing a good Cincinnati team, but a team whose offense is definitely not “lights out” by any means.

If you don’t have one of the top three defenses, go ahead and swoop up the Arizona defense…to the surprise of everyone. And then dominate them this week to win your league.

Sit Em Defense – Detroit

All flash, no substance…especially against a rejuvenated San Diego offense. I would stay away from BOTH defenses in this game.

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Best of luck in Week 16 everyone! We’ll be here all week answering questions in the comment section, and we will have our weekly live chat on Saturday this week. We’ll see you then!

We have been rather effusive in our praise of Tim Tebow on this site over the past month and a half, a fact of which I’m proud – mostly because I think we’ve kept Tebowmania in something resembling proper perspective. For every “TEBOW WON!” article, there has also been an article focusing on the personal attributes that make him so compelling or a generally down-the-center piece focusing on the Tebow phenomenon itself.

In this article, I don’t even really want to talk too much about Tebow (even though I will…that’s just how it goes). Rather, I want to offer up a few plaudits to quarterbacks whose important contributions to the NFL landscape are getting predictably lost in the Tebow Maelstrom.

T.John Skates…this post is for you.

Comparing The Numbers

T.John* Skates is how I will refer to the combination of T.J. Yates and John Skelton, the current signal-callers for the Houston Texas and Arizona Cardinals, respectively. Neither has received 1/1000th the hype or airtime as Tebow, for reasons too numerous to count, but both are playing key roles on teams winning important December games.

Here are the raw numbers over their last 8 games for Tebow and “Skates”:

^ – Skates’ record includes a few games where they didn’t start; 4th Quarter Ws includes games tied at beginning of 4th quarter

Kind of remarkable huh? Who knew, amidst all of the Tebow hype, that T.John Skates was essentially doing the same thing.

Okay, enough with the gimmicky name. The time has come to give Yates and Skelton their proper due. And while the title of this post, and lead-in pictures, are a clear parody of the infamous “What if Michael Vick were white?” article by ESPN, this question seems to me to be far more legitimate.

What if John Skelton and T.J. Yates were Tim Tebow? Well, of course, they’d be getting plenty more pub than they are.

But then again, neither guy is a former Heisman-winning college football hero who polarizes America despite being about as wholesome as wholesome gets. So I’m not saying they deserve the same level of attention that Tebow gets. They don’t. Tebow has “earned” it while these two guys are barely relevant to die-hard fantasy football players, let alone household names.

Still, it seems like they deserve a little taste of the spotlight, especially in light of this past weekend.

T.J. Yates

Yates, who is filling in for the Matts Schaub and Leinart, quarterbacked the winning drive in the 4th quarter of the game that clinched the first playoff spot in Texans’ history.

And he wasn’t just a “game manager” who rode the coattails of Arian Foster and Ben Tate to victory.

Without Andre Johnson, Yates threw for 300 yards against a pretty good Cincinnati defense. His quarterback rating is a serviceable is 82.3, and the Texans are now 3-0 in games in which he has played.

Image credit: Thomas B. Shea/Getty Images via Bleacher Report

Needless to say, the silly whispers for Brett Favre had ended.

John Skelton

Skelton, who was so bad last year that Arizona desperately overpaid unproven Kevin Kolb in the offseason, has stepped in for the oft-injured and oft-ineffective Kolb this year to help engineer the Cardinals’ surprising turnaround from NFC West laughinstock to NFC playoff contender.

Skelton is the anti-Tebow – he has a rocket arm and the mobility of a lamp post, and he turns it over way too much – but there is one thing about him that is decidedly Tebowesque: The Cardinals are 4-1 in games he has thrown a pass in this year.

Sure, Patrick Peterson’s amazing punt return ability has helped the Cardinals to overcome Skelton’s 7 INTs, and sure, Larry Fitzgerald could probably make me look decent as a QB; but if we’re going to give Tebow credit for “just winning” then shouldn’t Skelton get a little bit of the same?

Image credit: Art Foxall via UPI.com

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Let me make one thing clear: this is not a Tebow versus Skelton/Yates article; and I’m not trying to crusade against the media coverage of Tebow. Is the incessant Tebow Mania a bit much? Sure, some of it. But it’s a compelling storyline and a lot of people, even non-sports fans, are captivated by it. Seeing as how the subject of said coverage is a guy as upstanding as Tebow, I say keep bringing it on — so long as we remember to give credit to the entire Broncos team for wins, not just Tebow…as Tebow himself does.

No, this is just a quick article to remind everyone that there are other QBs coming out of nowhere this year to lead teams to seemingly improbable wins and playoff runs. Tebow is getting it done, and getting a lot of deserved credit; T.J. Yates and John Skelton are getting it done too, just without quite as much credit, at least nationally, though they deserve it.

So here’s to you T.J. Yates and John Skelton. You may not be Tim Tebow, cultural icon, but you don’t need to be. Just keep doing your best impression of Tim Tebow, football player: make a few good plays each game (especially late, in crunch time), make sure you don’t make too many bad ones, and put the outstanding players around you in a position to win games.

What if John Skelton and T.J. Yates were Tim Tebow? Shoot, in many ways they pretty much have been.

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* – I guarantee that any Indiana basketball fans who say that first name out loud will immediately smile. If you’re not an IU fan, just trust me.

No, I didn’t make the playoffs in all of my leagues, but I did get to enjoy a couple of Week 14 byes, and my teams that did play meaningful Week 14 games all did well.

Sure, it all could come crashing down this week, but I’m going to spend a few extra minutes studying stats and trends and matchups to ensure that I put myself in the best possible position for victory.

And it all starts with analyzing the waiver wire to see if there are any players out there who may be able to help me out now that the fantasy pressure is racheted up to its highest levels.

Here are this week’s waiver wire pickups, and as always all of these players are owned in 50% or fewer of Yahoo leagues.

Fantasy Football Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups: QB

Matt Moore, Miami (20%, at Buffalo)

Matt Moore did not have a great game in Week 14. This is surprising based on the previous several weeks, but coming into the year no one would have been surprised if the Eagles’ high-priced secondary had shut down the Dolphins’ backup QB.

Week 15 appears far more appealing for Moore owners – especially those who have him in two-QB leagues like I do. He is facing the Buffalo Bills, who are giving up big numbers to everyone. You wouldn’t want Moore starting in a single QB league, but he’ll put up sneaky good numbers this week.

Rex Grossman, Washington (13%, at New York Giants)

Did you see how many Cowboys wide receivers were running wide open in the Giants’ secondary last week? That’s been a weekly theme. Grossman proved in Week 14 that he can put up good numbers against a poor secondary, and he can and should do it again this week.

You might think I’m crazy to say this, but Grossman could very well be a top-10 QB this week. I know, I know. I’m not sure I could trust him either, but just don’t be surprised if it happens.

T.J. Yates, Houston (5%, v Carolina)

This is only for deep-leaguers and two-QB leagues, but T.J. Yates has been surprisingly serviceable in fantasy football and real life football since taking over for Matt Leinart taking over for Matt Schaub. Yates has 3 TDs and one pick in the his last two games. There is some value there, and we know that Carolina struggles to stop everyone.

Jake Locker, Tennessee (2%, at Indianapolis)

This assumes that Matt Hasselbeck is hurt and that you are terribly desperate at QB, but wouldn’t you want whoever is facing the Colts in at QB? I wouldn’t mind it. Don’t go crazy and start Locker in a one-QB league, but he could put up some numbers against the woeful Colts.

Fantasy Football Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups: RB

Toby Gerhart, Minnesota (47%, v New Orleans)

If Adrian Peterson doesn’t play, which seems unlikely since he was so close to playing this week, Gerhart has some value. If Peterson does play, then obviously Gerhart needs to go to your bench.

Ryan Grant, Green Bay (43%, at Kansas City)

Ryan Grant lives!

Grant hasn’t done much this year, but he burst back onto the scene in Week 14, filling in quite admirably for James Starks and making the Packers RB slot fantasy-relevant for the first time…pretty much all year. If Grant is slated to start again, with Kansas City up next on the schedule, he could provide some value again. Don’t go crazy with your expectations, but he’s at least worthy of giving you some depth as you approach the final week.

Donald Brown, Indianapolis (21%, v Tennessee)

Brown did very little in Week 14, but in his defense he plays for the Colts who were playing Baltimore. Did anyone really expect anything? Brown did lead the Colts in carries and yards, and there is value in that for those desperate for ball carrier, and Tennessee is not nearly as imposing against the run as the Ravens are.

Keiland Williams, Detroit (3%, at Oakland)

I’m not a huge fan of Williams, but he did lead a high-powered offense in carries in Week 14. With the quickly fading Oakland Raiders on the schedule in Week 15 – the same Oakland Raiders who made Ryan Grant relevant again – any running back slated to get 10-15 touches against them has some value.

Christopher Ivory, New Orleans (1%, at Minnesota)

Few things frustrate fantasy owners more than the Saints’ backfield, and it happened this week. Ivory led Saints backs in touches with 13, followed by Sproles’ 12. All of Ivory’s touches were carries, and he churned out 53 yards on them, looking pretty explosive with fresh legs. Who knows if he’ll get 13 more carries next week, but anyone getting that many touches for the Saints warrants mention.

Fantasy Football Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups: WR

JABAR GAFFNEY, WASHINGTON (49%, at NEW YORK GIANTS)

No, I did not mistakenly hit the CAPS LOCK button when typing Jabar Gaffney’s name. I just wanted to make sure you know exactly how much I love Gaffney this week. He was my start ‘em WR in Week 14, and he came through big time, and he should do the same this week against the Giants’ very generous secondary.

Nate Burleson, Detroit (43%, at Oakland)

Burleson didn’t do quite as well against the Vikings as I thought he might, but he has been pretty productive over the last month. As I mentioned above, the Raiders are terrible right now, so I want plays who are going against them in my lineup or at least on my team as an option.

Damian Williams, Tennessee (25%, at Indianapolis)

I expected more out of Williams than just two catches in Week 14 (though he did pop for 62 yards), but Nate Washington ended up playing and got the bulk of the catches and yards. Still, Williams has major potential in Week 15 because of the matchup.

Demaryius Thomas, Denver (13%, at New England)

Yes, Thomas struggled with drops in Week 14, but he also caught the huge 4th quarter touchdown, which to me helps validate his 144-yard Week 13 as more than just a fluke. With New England on the schedule, and their terrible pass defense tasked with defending Tebow and Co, Thomas could have another nice day.

Titus Young, Detroit (6%, at Oakland)

Yes, a second Lions WR makes the list because, again, they are playing Oakland. And I like Young more than Burleson. Young was better in Week 14 and at this point in their respective careers he is the more explosive player. Don’t be surprised he has another 4-catch, 87-yard, 1-TD day in Week 15. That’s what he did last week.

Fantasy Football Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups: TE

Jermaine Gresham, Cincinnati (48%, at St. Louis)

Greshman was okay in Week 14, but he faced a very tough Houston defense. His matchup in Week 15 is not nearly as tough, and Gresham looks like a good candidate to get back into the endzone to me. At the least, he should grab 4-5 balls and get 50-60 yards.

Jake Ballard, New York (46%, v Washington)

Ballard continues to be a solid under-the-radar option at tight end. He caught four balls in Week 14 and scored a touchdown. We saw what Rob Gronkowski did to the Redskins last week, and while Ballard may only be 25% of Gronk, 25% of what Gronk did v Washington would be pretty good for your TE spot.

Marcedes Lewis, Jacksonville (17%, at Atlanta)

Apparently someone told Blaine Gabbert that he has a really talented tight end. After a very disappointing start to the season, Lewis is producing again. He had 77 yards on two catches in Week 14, coming on the heels of 14 catches over the previous three weeks.

Streaming Defenses of the Week

Seattle Seahawks (43%, at Chicago)

I don’t even know what Seattle will do against St. Louis on Monday Night Football, but I’m recommending them. It’s much less about my trust in Seattle and much more about my complete lack of faith in Caleb Hanie and Co. Seattle is a very safe option this week.

Tennessee Titans (27%, at Indianapolis)

All things considered, the Titans weren’t terrible against New Orleans in Week 14; and they have been a good defense at times this year. In Week 15, they may well look like a great defense going up against Indy. Again, another safe option.

Arizona Cardinals (16%, v Cleveland)

Arizona’s defense is not as bad as you might think, though they do struggle defending the pass. Well guess what? Cleveland can’t pass. And with a Patrick Peterson return TD always looming as a realistic possibility, Arizona has a shot to be a solid value this week.

If you have roster-specific questions, pose them below. Let’s all get Ws in Week 15!

We’ll see. If they do though, I sure as hell better be prepared to give the some good nuggets. They’ll need something positive after their franchise icon bolted to the coast for the big bucks.

So here is my quick look ahead three defenses that may very well be on your waiver wire that you will want to own in Weeks 14, 15, and 16 of the fantasy football season.

Seattle Seahawks

The Seahawks have played decent defense this year – they are 12th in scoring defense in the NFL – and have a nice upcoming schedule, especially this week when they play the Rams in Seattle.

In Week 15 Seattle is at the Bears, who will still be without Jay Cutler and Matt Forte. In Week 16 Seattle gets San Francisco at home, and remember that the last time they played Seattle shut down SF’s offense pretty good; Ted Ginn’s two return TDs were the difference.

If you have any defensive questions, grab the Seahawks. With matchups like these, they might just be the difference in you winning your league or not.

Arizona Cardinals

Another NFC West team? Yes, another NFC West team.

The Cardinals face San Francisco this week, then get the Browns in Week 15 before traveling to Cincinnati in Week 16. I don’t love the Cincy matchup, and the Cardinals did get torched by San Francisco last week, but Arizona has been improving and none of those offenses is particularly explosive.

Plus, there is the constant threat of Patrick Peterson, who has already set the franchise record for career return touchdowns…in 12 games! That helps add a little more potential reward for the risk of rolling the Cardinals out there.

Tennessee Titans

I was surprised to learn that Tennessee is 6th in the league in scoring defense this year. Did you know that?

Their matchup this week obviously isn’t ideal, though at least they face New Orleans at home as opposed to the Superdome, but their matchups in Weeks 15 and 16 are outstanding: at Indianapolis and home against Jacksonville.

Grab Tennessee now, sit them this week, and then enjoy your D/ST facing Dan Orlovsky and Blaine Gabbert in the playoffs. Woo-hooo!

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If you have questions about your current D/ST unit, ask below. Otherwise, head now to our Week 14 start/sit column or the Week 14 waiver wire pickups to further prepare yourself for fantasy football domination.

Combine Stanford’s loss to Oregon two weekend ago with Luck’s pedestrian numbers against Cal on Saturday (20-30, 257 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT in a 31-28 win), and then mix in superlative performances by Baylor’s Robert Griffin III and USC’s Matt Barkley this past Saturday, and Luck doesn’t seem luck such a clear-cut #1 prospect any more, now does he?

Don’t get me wrong, Luck’s still the guy. If the NFL draft were held today, the Indianapolis Colts would snatch Luck up quicker than you can say “Peyton” and then deal with the ramifications later. Plus, we don’t even know if RG3 or Barkley are going to turn pro after this year.

Griffin surely won’t get the respect his performances and athletic ability deserve once NFL scouts start picking apart the simplicity of the offense he operates in, so he is unlikely to be a surefire top 10 pick. That, plus a desire to to win the Heisman (if he doesn’t this year) and take Baylor to even greater heights may compel him to stay in school.

As for Barkley, he has persevered through so much at USC while the school serves its punishment for crimes that happened before he got there. The Trojans have loads of talent and will be bowl eligible again next year. It seems reasonable to think he may want to stay for his senior year and finish what he started, though he’ll likely be projected as a higher pick than Griffin, making such a decision that much harder.

(Side note: remember when Landry Jones was discussed in the same sentence with these three guys? About that…)

Back to Luck.

Even with Griffin and Barkley seemingly closing the gap this weekend, Luck is still the guy I’d want my team taking if they had the chance. It’s become clear as the season has gone along that Luck simply doesn’t have great weapons to work with on offense, and that is depressing his still great numbers. For the season, Luck is still completing over 70% of his passes and has thrown 31 TDs against only 8 INTs.

So though some fans may be tempted to implore their teams to “stiffen for Griffin” or “keep missing the mark(ley) to get Barkley” (wow, that one sucks), Colts fans should still be hopeful that their team will maintain its “suck for Luck” trajectory. He still has franchise QB written all over him.

And now onto this week’s Suck for Luck Power Rankings, where not being #1 no longer looks quite so awful.

NFL Suck For Luck Power Rankings: Week 12

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1. Indianapolis Colts (0-10)

This is the first Monday that the Colts haven’t had to lament a loss all season. Score!

In celebration of the Colts not losing, here is a picture of Colts Jim Irsay and his smiling daughter Casey.

Image credit: Charlie Nye via The Indianapolis Star

2. St. Louis Rams (2-8)

That’s it. I’m done with the Rams.

I’ve supported this team all year, always ranking them lower in these rankings than their record or performance suggested. Why? I don’t know why. I guess because I foolishly keeping believing that Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get this crappy offense going.

Well, when you get trounced at home by Tarvaris Jackson, Pete Carrol, and the Seahawks, you lose my support.

Sam Bradford “can’t believe how bad this season has been“? Join the club.

3. Carolina Panthers (2-8)

Here is another team that I’ve lost faith in. The Panthers were really playing well despite their 2-6 record before their bye came. Since then, they’ve gotten trounced by the Titans, and yesterday they gave up 49 points to Detroit in the process of blowing a big early lead.

Cam Newton is outstanding, and he continues to make the Panthers’ offense fun to watch, but you have to stop someone every now and again to win games. Considering new head coach Ron Rivera is a defensive-minded guy, hopefully he can get their defensive woes turned around. Maybe a high draft pick will help?

4. Washington Redskins (3-7)

The Redskins actually turned in an inspired performance yesterday in taking the Cowboys to overtime. They even had a chance to win, but Graham Gano’s field goal sailed wide and the Redskins once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

The Redskins’ loss also included this bizarre play call from one of Mike Shanahan’s henchman…which really is a perfect visual representation for what Redskins football has become: inexplicable.

 GIF source: Imgur via Reddit

5. Arizona Cardinals (3-7)

I am ranking Arizona below the Rams, Panthers, and Redskins out of respect for Larry Fitzgerald, because he continues to be amazing. But my goodness is their QB situation awful. I know the 49ers have the best defense in the NFL, but that performance yesterday by John Skelton made Derek Anderson look like a Pro Bowler (again…remember when that happened?).

It’s not good when you’re longing for Kevin Kolb to be under center, but that’s what it has come to for Arizona.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-7)

Congratulations, you lost to the Cleveland Browns. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

On the bright side, Blaine Gabbert threw for more than 100 yards! He actually tossed for 210 yards. But once again he did not throw a TD, and his yards per attempt was an anemic 5.1.

Is there anyone who wouldn’t take Luck, Barkley, or Griffin (hell, even Landry Jones) over Gabbert? I don’t think so. The Jags are going to regret this pick for a long time.

7. Cleveland Browns (4-6)

Has a team ever had an emptier four wins than Cleveland? They’ve beaten Indy, Miami back when the Dolphins were just giving games away, Seattle in a 6-3 barnburner, and the woeful Jags last week.

Bill Parcells famously said “you are what your record says you are” and I usually believe it. But come on. The Browns being “a 4-win team” is terribly false advertising. Yes, it’s technically true, but it implies some level of football competence. And those two words really never should be next to eachother when the subject is the Browns.

8. Minnesota Vikings (2-8)

Yeah, I probably have the Vikings too high, but consider this a continued show of respect for Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen. I think yesterday’s game against Oakland goes much differently if Peterson played the whole game, and I think the Vikings have actually found a QB they can build around, unlike everyone on this list except for Carolina (and maybe the Rams…maybe).

Also, I didn’t want to put the Vikings any higher on this list and make Drew Lange cry like a little girl. That would have been tragic.

9. San Diego Chargers (4-6)

As I perused the rest of the 4-6 teams, the Chargers stood out as the team playing the worst. They’ve dropped five straight and Philip Rivers is playing like absolute horsecrap. It’s shocking that a team that seemingly has so much talent could be so bad, but we’ve seen it from these Chargers year after year, with this recent five-game skid perhaps being the nadir.

A 14-2 season from Marty Schottenheimer doesn’t look so bad anymore, now does it?

In honor of one of the most unnecessarily disrespected good coaches in NFL history, here is Marty taking a Gatorade bath like an absolute boss.

10. Buffalo Bills (5-5)

I know that the Bills have a better record than Miami, Seattle, Tampa Bay, Kansas City, and Philadelphia, and that they’re even with Tennessee, the Jets, and Denver, but when you lose three straight games by a combined score of 106-26, and you’re having buyer’s remorse just a few weeks after signing your QB to a long-term contract extension, you get included in the Suck For Luck Rankings.

As for the honorable mentions, which I just mentioned, Kansas City better not get too comfortable. I’m keeping my eye on them, especially with Matt Cassel out and Tyler Palko not in. They face New England tonight on Monday Night Football, which very well could turn into a massacre. But hey, at least for this week, they’re better than the Bills!

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Got any gripes? That’s what the comment section is for. Have at it.

Six team byes have been scaled back down to four this week, so fewer players will be sitting out of your matchups, but it will still likely necessitate at least one or two touch decisions; decisions you shouldn’t take lightly, because while this may be the middle of the season for the players, our playoffs are right around the corner and crunch time is upon us.

Before I get to this week’s stock picks, I invite anyone to comment on this question because the answer eludes me: will Joe Flacco ever become an elite quarterback in the NFL?

His polarizing play has people worried, especially me, so let me know in the comments section.

Now we will let you know what is good in this week’s stock report.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Stock Report: Stocks Up

Matt Cassel

Lol isn’t usually a term acceptable for sports blogging, but that is the only word someone can come up with when trying to describe the Dolphins’ pass defense.  Even losing Jamaal Charles for the season, Cassel’s production hasn’t skyrocketed nor plummeted, and he puts up good enough numbers to fill in for Stafford if you need him.

Philip Rivers

I promise that Rivers will have high stock until, well, who knows.  There is no way that he can continue to play this poorly for the rest of the year.  He threw for over 350 yards last week even though some unlucky interceptions came forth, but one of these days he is going to impress…hopefully.

Beanie Wells

The only thing that seems to be stopping Wells from becoming a top flight fantasy running back are his injuries.  During games that the Cardinals are competitive in, he can score you 14 to 20+ points.  The only problem with playing Wells is that the 1-6 Cardinals are out of games so fast that the running game gets put on the back burner and his abilities can get lost in the fold.

Michael Bush

This is somewhat of an obvious decision with the loss of Darren McFadden for the week, but Bush has always been a decent play.  His size allows him to be a goal line threat any time the Raiders are inside the red zone.  Playing against Tim Tebow should allow for many opportunities in Oakland.

Brandon Jacobs

Who knows why Tom Coughlin doesn’t give his 6-3 250 running back the ball more often, but this week should show some change with Ahmad Bradshaw out.  Jacobs has only carried the ball 10 times in a game once this year, but this is the week his production should benefit and score you around 10 points. He’s a solid fill-in for owners stuck without All Day or MJD this week.

Julio Jones

Has Julio lived up to the hype that was created when the Falcons threw the kitchen sink at the Browns to snag the rookie this past April?  The jury is still out on that one, but this could be the week that we see the young man have a breakout game against a Colts team that is so bad that almost nobody can watch.

Antonio Brown

The proof is in the pudding and this man has been performing week in and week out.  Keep things clear with simple logic this week: the Ravens probably won’t be able to go into Pittsburgh and beat the Steelers on the road, and if Baltimore is going to shut someone down, it seems like Mike Wallace would be that guy.

Kellen Winslow

That first touchdown of the year can be tricky for tight ends but K2 got the job done.  The Bucs are going to have to keep up with the Saints if they want any success this week so plenty of targets could go to the veteran tight end.

Cardinals D/ST

30 point games have been the norm for Arizona, but playing against the Rams could be the perfect remedy.  Don’t think that the Rams can repeat their surprising Week 8 performance this week, so play the Cardinals’ defense with confidence.

Fantasy Football Week 9 Stock Report: Stocks Down

Matt Schaub

This week will tilt in the favor of Arian Foster when going against the Browns weak front seven.  Superstar in the making Joe Haden blanketing Kevin Walter or Jacoby Jones (filling in for a still-sore Andre Johnson) won’t bode well for the passing game, so pedestrian numbers are most likely to come for Schaub.

Joe Flacco

As much as I love FLACCO, his stock has to be down.  Two subpar games against poor defenses makes this game against the Steelers look like the matchup from hell.  Although it doesn’t look as if he is going to throw 3 interceptions with a few fumbles again, this game still just has problems written all over it.

Matt Hasselbeck

Most of his games have been productive this year, but it looks as if he might have hit the permanent wall.  Depending on the state of the Titans after this game, whether they win or lose we could see the end of Hasselbeck’s starting career and the beginning of the Jake Locker era.  The Cincinnati Bengals defense doesn’t play around with opposing quarterbacks so this could get ugly.

LeGarrette Blount

Blount has a low stock this week strictly because of circumstance.  The New Orleans Saints blitz the scoreboard no matter who they play against, so if the Bucs want to win, keeping up is the only option.  Blount doesn’t contribute much in the way of the passing game so don’t be surprised when he posts pedestrian numbers.

Ray Rice

We all know about the Pittsburgh run defense, so this matchup looks fairly predictable.  Actually the whole Ravens offense looks like they are in trouble this week.  Now we may get proven wrong, but until this unit as a whole steps up, the guys on defense are going to be the ones who win this team the majority of its games.

Brandon Marshall

Miami is hard to watch.  Regardless of the fact that Marshall is the best player on the field, he can’t like where this team is going.  Too many losses late can put a team’s focus in the dumps, and as history has shown, when Brandon Marshall doesn’t like the situation chances are he is going to do what it takes to get out of it.

Jordy Nelson

Aside from the big game every other week, Nelson just doesn’t seem to get enough looks on the offense.  2 catches for 104 yards and a touchdown is a productive week yes, but what happens when those 2 catches equal out to just 30 yards?  It’s big risk, big reward for Jordy owners, and this week’s matchup with the Chargers doesn’t grade out well.

San Diego D/ST

This is pretty much a no brainer here.  Look at the obvious reasons.  Aaron Rodgers is on the other side of the field and Phillip Rivers has had many recent struggles that give the opposing team a lot of opportunities to score. Play someone else.

Without question, the story of the first half of the season (other than this) has been the ascent of the Detroit Lions.

They went 0-16 three years ago, then 2-14 in Jim Schwartz’s first year, then 6-10 last year; and now halfway through their 2011 slate Detroit, sitting at 6-2, is a bona fide contender in the NFC. And the Lions aren’t just an empty record either. They have the skill, attitude, reputation, and right now the health (knock on wood) to suggest that they aren’t going away.

So in honor of the Motor City Mufasas, and their roaring wreakers of wreckage Ndamukong Suh and Calvin Johnson, I give to you my Midseason NFL Power Rankings, with each team presented alongside a Motown classic that sums up the first half of its season.

The great Berry Gordy and Ndamukong Suh

1. Green Bay Packers (7-0) – “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder

After an uneven regular season in 2010, the Packers caught fire all the way to the Super Bowl. Along the way, Aaron Rodgers nudged his way into the Manning-Brady-Brees stratosphere of NFL quarterbacks.

Through seven games in 2011, the Packers haven’t missed a beat, and Rodgers has catapulted himself into the rarest of air: the undisputed #1 quarterback in football, and he’s on pace to complete the most efficient statistical season a quarterback has ever had.

As Stevie sings:

Lovers keep on lovin’
Believers keep on believin’
Sleepers just stop sleepin’

…

Gonna keep on tryin’
Till I reach my highest ground

Indeed, the Packers/Rodgers lovers and believers need to keep doing what they’re doing, and any remaining sleepers need to wake up to the reality that Rodgers is the best player in football.

If he hasn’t already reached the highest ground, it’s going to be amazing to see just how deadly the Packers’ offense is once he’s there.

2. San Francisco 49ers (6-1) – “Reach Out, I’ll Be There” by The Four Tops

Know this about the resurgent 49ers and their badass first year head coach Jim Harbaugh: at the end of the game, reach out and he’ll be the there…ready to shake your head after kicking your team’s butt. (Just try not to take it personally.)

And in case you needed any more reason why this is the perfect song choice for the 2011 take-no-prisoners 49ers, pay attention to the lyrics. Replace “girl” and “darling” with “Alex” (for Alex Smith), “I’ll” with “We’ll”, plus a few other subtle changes, and it might as well be a pregame Harbaugh speech to his much-maligned but improving QB.

Now if you feel that you can’t go on,
Because all of your hope is gone,
And your life is filled with much confusion,
Until happiness is just an illusion,
And your world around is crumbling down, Alex,
(Reach out) Come on Alex reach on out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
We’ll be there with a running game that will shelter you,
We’ll be there with a defense that will see you through,

See what I mean?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

I’m not sure what that was from Pittsburgh in Week 1, but it was most certainly not the real Steelers that we’ve come to know and appreciate.

Over the Steelers’ last four games though, we’ve started to see the real Steelers emerge again, just with a little more passing than running, and it’s been a good reminder that in the NFL there ain’t nothing like the real thing; and it doesn’t get much more real in professional football than the Steelers.

4. Detroit Lions (6-2) – “Just My Imagination” by The Temptations

For years, decades really, Lions fans have had to watch the success of other franchises and pretend it was their own. Losing season after losing season, all the Lions had was their imagination if they wanted to cheer for a winner.

Not anymore.

Now all Lions fans need to do is use their imaginations to conjure up a future in which Matthew Stafford plays 16 games, because if he does, this team is ready to make its long-awaited return to the postseason. And they won’t be an easy out.

5. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – “I Second That Emotion” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

After the Ravens’ offense sputtered against the Jags, Terrell Suggs publicly questioned the offensive gameplan. Surprisingly, Ravens coach John Harbaugh seconded Suggs’ emotion, agreeing that Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin needed to get the ball more.

One week later Cam Cameron and Joe Flacco got the notion, and the Ravens are back to their winning ways after Rice scored three TDs and Boldin topped 100 yards receiving.

6. New England Patriots (5-2) – “It’s The Same Old Song” by The Four Tops

An offense built around their statuesque quarterback who throws 40+ times every game, without much of a running game to speak of? Check.

A defense that gives up tons of yards, hopes to be “bend but don’t break” as a best case scenario, and is undeniably poor in the secondary and at rushing the passer? Check.

Sound familiar? That’s pretty much what the Patriots have been for the last three seasons, and for the last three seasons they’ve underwhelmed fans and pundits alike once January has rolled around. I’m struggling to find any reason to think this season will end any differently.

7. New Orleans Saints (5-3) – “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye

I don’t really feel like New Orleans deserves to be ranked this high, especially after what we witnessed from them last week and in their recent loss to Tampa Bay. Sandwiched in between those two defeats, however, was a thorough ass-kicking of the Indianapolis Colts; and anytime you beat another NFL team 62-7 it means, well, something.

The Saints still have Drew Brees, they still have weapons galore on offense, and they still have Sean Payton calling the shots. This outfit won a Super Bowl not too long ago, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt…for now. But they need to figure out what’s going on before far too many mothers, brothers, and fathers in The Bayou are left crying from another debacle like that loss to the Rams.

8. New York Giants (5-2) – “Ball of Confusion” by The Temptations

Is any good team more of a ball of confusion from year to year, week to week, and even quarter to quarter than the New York Giants? No.

Yet despite the ups and downs, here are the Giants sitting atop the NFC East with Eli Manning playing the best football of his career. Go figure.

9. Houston Texas (5-3) – “It Takes Two” by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston

The song choice for the Texans is obvious from the first two lines:

One can have a dream, baby
Two can make that dream so real

For a while now, the Texans and their fans have had dreams of going to the playoffs, but unfortunately they only had one side of the ball that functioned competently. Not anymore. Wade Phillips has taken a defense that was an embarrassment last year and made it respectable, even weathering the loss of Mario Williams.

It does indeed take two – an offense and a defense – to make playoff dreams real. Could this be the season it finally happens in Houston?

10. Buffalo Bills (5-2) – “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by The Temptations

The “papa” of these young Bills is head coach Chan Gailey, and he has indeed been a rolling stone during his coaching career. Buffalo is the 19th different coaching job Gailey has had since 1974. I know how transient of a profession coaching can be, but that is a lot of moving around.

Regardless, he has these Bills on the right track, sitting atop the AFC East.

11. New York Jets (4-3) – “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” by The Four Tops

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not sure the Jets have earned this high a spot in the rankings. They are on a two game winning streak, but beating the Dolphins and the apparently hapless Chargers isn’t all that impressive. Still, the Jets and their bombastic head coach cannot seem to help themselves: they always talk, they always struggle for parts of seasons, yet they always get it going when the weather gets cold. They’ve made two straight AFC Championship Games, so we can’t count them out yet.

(Note: there are also plenty of jokes that could be made in reference to Rex Ryan enjoying slices of sugar pie and handfuls of honey bunch, but I’ll refrain. Who do I look like…Joe Namath?)

12. Philadelphia Eagles (3-4) – “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” by Steve Wonder

I know that fans in Cincinnati and all over the AFC West and NFC South are going to be apoplectic at the under-.500 Eagles being 12th above their favorite teams, but what can I say? This team is loaded with talent, and I think they’d beat all of the teams below them (including more than a few above them) if they played right now.

So, Philly fans, what are you so uptight about? As long as you’ve got Andy Reid, everything is all right. Until the playoffs at least…

13. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) – “Shotgun” by Jr. Walker and the All Stars

I predicted that the Falcons would miss the playoffs before the season started, and I’m not backing off that prediction at all, though I have been impressed by their last two victories.

During the offseason, the Falcons tried to remake their offense from a tank into a shotgun with the hyperathletic Julio Jones added to the team at a high cost. It appeared early on that Ryan and the Falcons were trying to justify the cost while forgetting about their bread and butter: Michael Turner.

Things have changed.

Turner is back leading the offense and the Falcons are winning. The question is how long can Turner withstand another season of pounding. We’ll see.

14. Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

The Bengals had to deal with QB turmoil all offseason, limped into the regular season with rookies leading them at QB and WR, have had to deal with Cedric Benson’s continued legal troubles, and they lost corner Jonathan Joseph in the offseason. Also, certain Midwestern sports bloggers predicted the Bengals would finish with the worst record in the league. Yet all Marvin Lewis and the Bengals have shown is that there ain’t no football mountain high enough to keep this underrated team down this season.

At least so far.

Cincy’s wins are against Cleveland, Jacksonville, Buffalo, Seattle, and Indianapolis, and they still have four games coming up against Pittsburgh and Baltimore. This is why I’m not sold on the Bengals and have them at 14th. But if they can keep climbing mountains, this could be the most unlikely playoff team of 2011.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (4-3) – “Since I Lost My Baby” by The Temptations

The Chiefs have reeled off four straight wins since I ranked them #1 in my inaugural Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, a winning streak that has moved them all the way into a first place tie in the AFC West. This has Chiefs fans seeing sun shining (yes, plenty of light), a new day dawning (so sunny and bright), and even birds signing and children playing.

But the reality is that without young stars Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki, all of whom the Chiefs lost early in the year to season-ending injuries, the Chiefs’ chances of going any further than they did last year – a first round playoff blowout – are slim to none.

16. San Diego Chargers (4-3) – “Hello” by Lionel Richie

It’s fitting that the Chargers are one spot behind the Chiefs, because they were one successful QB-center exchange away from beating them last night.

If I had time, I would create a YouTube video with the ball Rivers’ fumbled away singing this Lionel Richie ballad to him. It’s the kind of thing the Internet was invented for. Can’t you just see the ball rolling around on the ground plaintively singing these words to Rivers while the QB laments his “worst day ever“:

Hello!
Is it me you’re looking for?
’cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

17. Oakland Raiders (4-3) – “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations

The Raiders are a hard team to figure out right now since we have no idea a) what they will get from Carson Palmer and b) if their offensive workhorse Darren McFadden can stay healthy enough all year to keep the pressure off of Palmer.

But we do know one thing: the Raiders were not begging nor pleading for anyone’s sympathy once Jason Campbell went down. They slept on Mike Brown’s doorstep and even let everyone laugh, because they wanted Carson Palmer any way they could get him. Now they have him, and we’ll see if they can just keep winning, baby.

18. Dallas Cowboys (3-4) – “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

Did the Cowboys even have a Week 8 game? They did? Really? Because the only time I saw a Cowboy show up last week is Tony Romo when he announced that he and his new wife are expecting.

So since I have nothing constructive to say about Dallas’ no show on Sunday night, let’s honor the soon-to-be parents. Take it away Marvin.

19. Chicago Bears (4-3) – “You Keep Me Hanging On” by The Supremes

I tend not to trust teams that have severe offensive line issues, which is why the Bears fall towards the back of the teams bunched at 3-4 wins.

I also wouldn’t trust the Bears if I were Matt Forte, who I think is much closer to Adrian Peterson than Chris Johnson in terms of being deserving of a new contract. Can anyone blame Forte for feeling like the Bears are just keeping him hanging on? I mean really Jerry Angelo. If you’re not going to #paytheman, set him free why don’t ya?

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3) – “Brick House” by The Commodores

Tampa Bay was another supposedly up-and-coming team that I didn’t trust heading into the season. They’ve scratched together four wins, but they have looked pretty bad along the way at times.

So in honor of the bricks they’ve thrown up against San Francisco and the first half of the Chicago game in London, not to mention Josh Freeman’s 10 interceptions, here are The Commodores singing about bricks in a much different context.

21. Minnesota Vikings (2-6) – “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie

You know that Adrian Peterson is called “AD” because he can run all day long. Now that Minnesota has handed the reins of its offense over to rookie Christian Ponder, Peterson may have to run all day and all night long to help ease the rook’s transition.

Peterson is more than capable, and the Vikings – who have played better than their record – are more than capable of winning 4-5 of their remaining games if Ponder can just provide adequate play under center.

22. St. Louis Rams (1-6) – “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

No, I’m not insane. I’m well aware that before last weekend’s trouncing of the Saints, the Rams hadn’t beaten anyone and hadn’t even really come close. Just consider me to be buying low on the Rams, and when they finish with 5-6 wins, remember that you heard it here first.

You can’t hurry a connection between a new offensive coordinator, an offensive line, and a young QB, but Sam Bradford and Josh McDaniels will get everyone on the same page. Having Brandon Lloyd will help, and having a leader like Steven Jackson to make sure no one mails it in will also keep these Rams on a forward trajectory all season.

23. Carolina Panthers (2-6) – “ABC” by The Jackson 5

Am I drinking the Cam Newton Kool-Aid after 8 games? You’re dadgum right I am, so much so that I came up with 20 teams who, hypothetically speaking of course, should trade their QB for right now for Newton.

I did not think Newton would have an easy transition to the NFL, but he’s made playing quarterback look as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What he has not found so easy to do yet is win, but that will come. He needs more experience and a better team around him, but the Panthers are a team on the rise that no one will want to face in the second half of the season.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-3) – “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder

In case you were wondering, no, I’m not sold on the Titans.

A win over the Colts does not impress me, nor did the Titans’ previous two non-competitive games against Pittsburgh and Houston. This team was looking good when Kenny Britt was around and emerging as a top receiver, but they seem lost without him.

But hey, at least Chris Johnson is signed, sealed, delivered, and yours, right Tennessee? Or not…

25. Cleveland Browns (3-4) – “Money (That’s What I Want)” by Barrett Strong

In case you hadn’t heard, money is what Peyton Hillis wants. He is not, however, willing to play through strep throat or maintain community commitments in his quest to leverage one partial good season into, apparently, $10 million per yer.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on the guy. If I were a running back for the Browns, against whom defenses can load up eight men in the box on every play, I might not be so motivated to play either.

26. Washington Redskins (3-4) – “Mercy, Mercy Me” by Marvin Gaye

When your only quarterback choices are Rex Grossman or John Beck, how can Redskins fans or even Mike Shanahan himself say anything other than mercy, mercy me?

The Redskins got off to a fast start this season, but things ain’t what they used to be. With such putrid play under center and so many injuries on offense, a turnaround doesn’t appear to be coming. Redskins fans will just have to keep wondering where did all the blue skies go?

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) – “Shop Around” by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles

So the Jaguars beat a disinterested Baltimore team in a defensive slopfest a few weeks back. So what?

This team is still going nowhere fast, and even the one positive Jags fans might have been able to take from this season – that the team had finally found a franchise QB – doesn’t seem to be coming to fruition. Based on what I’ve seen from Blaine Gabbert so far this year, I’d say to the Jags that they’d better shop around.

28. Seattle Seahawks (2-5) – “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5

In Pete Carroll’s first season, the Seahawks made an improbable run to the second round of the NFC Playoffs thanks to playing the in the terrible NFC West. No one in the NFC West seemingly did much to improve themselves in the offseason (who saw the 49ers run coming?), so what does Seattle do to keep the forward momentum going? They get rid of Matt Hasselbeck to turn their most important position on the field over to Charvaris Jackhurst.

Think they might want Hasselbeck and his 89.2 QB rating back now?

29. Arizona Cardinals (1-6) – “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” by Jimmy Ruffin

In Super Bowl 43, the Arizona Cardinals indeed became the brokenhearted when Ben Roethlisberger’s pass connected with Santonio Holmes in the corner of the end zone. So what becomes of the brokenhearted in football, who had a good QB who’s now departed? Everything goes to hell and a handbasket, apparently.

After your borderline Hall of Fame quarterback retires and you suffer through an awful season with basically no QB, you know you’ve got to find some kind of peace of mind for your All-World wide receiver. So you overpay for a guy who hasn’t proven he can be a competent starter, he doesn’t get any better, and all the while your defense gets worse and worse.

So, again, what becomes of the brokenhearted? In the case of Cardinals fans, you just go back to how things were before.

30. Denver Broncos (2-5) – “Dancing In The Streets” by Martha and the Vandellas

No matter what happens at the end of the Tim Tebow experience, they’ll be dancing in Dennnnnnver…and there will still surely be opinions everywhere.

Either fans of Tim Tebow will be dancing because he’s proven his worth as a starting QB in the NFL, or the Johns Fox and Elway will be dancing because they can jettison Tebow and get a QB who fits their ideal.

But either way, dancing.

31. Miami Dolphins (0-7) – “Stop! In The Name Of Luck!” by The Supremes

Do you see what I did with the title there?

This is what every Dolphins fan is imploring their team to do every time they have a promising drive or a second half lead. So far, the Dolphins have proven to be epic failures in the 4th quarters of games, which may just be the best thing for the franchise’s future.

Though the players and coaches don’t want to hear it, nor should they, Dolfans and owner Stephen Ross would like the team to stop coming so damn close to winning, and they certainly would like the Colts to stop losing…all in the name of Luck.

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-8) – “Where Did Our Love Go?” by The Supremes

Yep, two straight songs by The Supremes to end it. And why not? At this point I’m not convinced that on the football field Diana Ross and The Supremes would do any worse that Curtis Painter and The Colts or Matt Moore and the Dolphins.

So many lyrics snippets from this song could very well be things that Colts players have uttered verbatim during one of their eight horrific losses this season, with the their plaintive utterances directed at either Peyton Manning or their fans, who abandon them more and more with each demoralizing loss.

Baby, baby
Baby don’t leave me
Ooh, please don’t leave me
All by myself

…

Now that I surrender
So helplessly

…

Where did our love go
And all your promisses
Of a love forever more

You get the idea.

But if all Colts fans have to endure in between decades of success with franchise QBs is one terrible season, I and many others will resent them more than we already do.

###

There are my rankings, and each team’s corresponding Motown classic.

As always, I encourage your agreement, disagreement, and constructive criticisms below, both for the rankings and the song choices.

And now, because it’s one of my all-time favorite Motown songs but I couldn’t find a great team to assign it too, I’ll send you off into the comment section with one more classic tune from the great Marvin Gaye.

This is a question I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past several weeks, as I continue to be more and more impressed (and surprised) by how well Cam Newton is transitioning to the NFL in his first season.

Cam Newton’s Impressive Start

Frankly, I did not think that Newton was going to become a good NFL quarterback. I certainly did not think it would happen this quickly. But this is why I blog about the NFL in my underpants while typing with Cheetos-stained fingers and other people get paid to scout and draft players*.

* – Of course, plenty of people who do not blog about the NFL in their underpants with Cheetos-stained fingers, and who get paid to scout players, agreed with my assessment about Newton. This just goes to show how inexact a science scouting quarterbacks can be. Except for this guy.

As good as he’s been,nobody is ready to put Cam Newton into Canton yet. It takes more than 8 statistically strong games to classify someone as an elite QB, especially when six of those games have resulted in losses.

In fact, we’re going to learn a lot about Newton over these final 8 weeks while the Panthers essentially “play out the string” and Newton is forced to endure the first losing season of his football career. Leading your team in spite of adversity is one of the most important attributes for a successful NFL QB. We’ll see if Newton has that ability. So far he’s given us no reason to doubt him.

Certainly there is no reason to doubt Newton’s physical skills. He is passing for nearly 300 yards per game (299.1), completing 60.6% of his passes, and has thrown 11 touchdown passes against 9 interceptions. Those are solid numbers for any quarterback, let alone a rookie, and they are made even more impressive when his superlative running stats added to the discussion: 5.1 yards per carry and 7 rushing touchdowns.

And the numbers don’t tell the whole story.

Whereas Tim Tebow’s numbers are not nearly as poor as you might think, and in fact compare favorably to several Hall of Famers’ stats through five starts, Tebow hasn’t looked at all like an NFL QB. Cam Newton, on the other hand, has. He’s played with poise throughout games, including late, and he’s shown that he can make all the throws. He also has shown the ability to hit guys for big plays down the field when they are a open, which is an absolute requisite skill for a quarterback in the NFL. When a QB has a chance to make a big play, it must be made more often than not; simple as that.

Newton has been far from perfect, and he has plenty of growing to do, but I don’t think anyone is anything but highly impressed with his first eight games as an NFL quarterback. Many may not have been as low on Newton as I was before the season, but I doubt anyone other than Cam himself expected this kind of success out of the gate.

And all of this leads me back to my original question: how many NFL teams would trade their QB right now for Cam Newton?

Hypothetically Speaking…

For our purposes, assume that everything is how it is (team records, contracts, rosters, coaches, etc) and that every NFL team is given the option of swapping its current QB right now for Newton. I admit that is 100% ridiculous because Carolina wouldn’t trade Cam Newton for anyone (except maybe Aaron Rodgers…), but humor me for the sake of discussion. The result of this hypothetical transaction would be Newton quarterbacking the team for the rest of this season, in place of their current QB, and then being their QB through the rest of his rookie contract.

There are a number of easy answers on both sides, teams that wouldn’t even think twice about saying yes or no:

• Automatic No: New England, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, New York Giants
• Automatic Yes: Miami, Cleveland, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Oakland, Kansas City, Denver, Washington, Seattle

I shouldn’t have to defend any of the automatic “no” choices. Each team has a Super Bowl-winning QB, and each team feels it is a contender this season. As tantalized as they may be by Newton, none of these teams would trade their guy for him. (And anyone who doesn’t think Eli deserves this kind of respect is, in my opinion, crazy.)

As for the automatic yeses, I can maybe-possibly see some saying that Tennessee and Jacksonville have “QBs of the future” in Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert, but both teams would have rather had Newton in the draft and surely would rather have him now. These and the others are absolute no-brainers to me.

Now let’s go one-by-one through the remaining teams and figure out a) if they would trade their current QB for Cam Newton, and b) if they should trade their current QB for Cam Newton, because I bet the answers won’t often be the same. Of course these are all just my opinions based on how I see each team’s situation.

As always, I encourage disagreement, discussion, and even constructive criticism. That’s what comment sections are for. And there is a poll at the end of this post so we can crowdsource some kind of consensus for the non-obvious teams.

Here goes…

Buffalo Bills – Ryan Fitzpatrick (current record: 5-2)

The Bills just locked Fitzpatrick up to a long-term contract that will pay him $24 million and keep him as the signal caller in Buffalo for at least the next 2-3 years. Considering the deal Arizona signed Kevin Kolb to in the offseason, Fitzpatrick certainly deserves this contract. He has passed for 1,739 yards this year and twice as many touchdowns as interceptions, and he’s led Buffalo to first place in the AFC East. There is perhaps concern that Fitzpatrick is playing over his head, as his current completion rate is 8 points higher than his career average, and his QB rating is 20 points higher than his career average, but Fitzpatrick also could just be showing the normal progression that a good young NFL quarterback will make.

Personally, I’m not sold on Fitzpatrick as a top-tier option for the future who can compete against the likes of Brady, Roethlisberger, and Peyton Manning If He Plays Again (his new name). Fitzpatrick is a solid guy who can transition you from one franchise QB to the next, but I don’t think he is the type of QB who will make you a winner year in, year out. Cam Newton may be. But with the Bills sitting in first place in the AFC East, and the good feelings of the contract still fresh, I don’t think they’d make the move even though I would.

• Would they? No
• Should they? Yes

New York Jets – Mark Sanchez (4-3)

This is one of the more intriguing ones.

Even though Mark Sanchez has really done nothing to show that he can or will become a top-tier NFL quarterback (54.7% completions, 41 TD:39 INT for career), he has ridden the coattails of a great defense and an above-average running game to two straight AFC title games. His coach continues to profess confidence in him, and I think would rather win with “his guy” Sanchez, or die trying, than admit he was wrong and bring in another QB…at least right now.

Simply put: I think most objective people would make this trade in a heartbeat, and maybe the Jets front office would force it to happen; but I think Rex Ryan is so dug in with Sanchez that he’d do everything to veto it and give Sanchez another chance to finish the job this year. (I’ll be curious to hear from Jets fans on this one…)

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton (5-2)

Here is another one where short-term success might lead to myopic thinking.

The Bengals are, shockingly, sitting at 5-2 with their red-haired rookie QB and glue-handed rookie WR leading the offense. The Bengals’ defense has been great so far this season, but Dalton has been far from just a caretaker. He’s thrown 9 TDs and is completing 62.4% of his passes. Dalton’s sprint out of the gate has been nothing short of shocking.

But here is where I throw a little cold water on the fire: Cincinnati has beaten Cleveland, Buffalo, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and Seattle. Buffalo is good, the other four teams are not. So do we really know how good Dalton is? I don’t think so. In his one start against a god defense this year, Week 3 versus San Francisco, he was putrid. We’ll know a lot more about Dalton after his four games against Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

Like many teams, Cincy would have jumped at the chance to draft Cam Newton, but their first place positioning in the AFC North, and the fans’ growing attachment to Dalton, plus their history of personnel ineptitude, lead me to believe that the Bengals would forgo the chance to get Newton to hang onto Dalton. It would be a mistake.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes

As you can see, I have little faith in Ryan Fitzpatrick, Mark Sanchez, or Andy Dalton, at least in relation to Cam Newton; but I also have little faith that any of their teams would trade them for Newton.

This next one though might be the most intriguing of all.

Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco (5-2)

Ever since Joe Flacco has taken over as QB in Baltimore, the Ravens’ offense has been as up-and-down as any offense in the NFL. Flacco has seven games in which he has tossed three or more touchdowns. He also 24 games in which he’s thrown zero touchdowns, including four playoff games (though he often gets credited with being a “winning” playoff QB). All the while, Baltimore has had a good-to-great defense and a solid running game.

Now in his fourth year, and with just one TD pass in his last four games, can the Ravens and team leaders like Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs really still have that much confidence in Flacco? I know they call him “Joe Cool” because he never seems rattled, but that’s mostly because he barely looks like he has a pulse at times. Cam Newton also never gets rattled, but he plays with an energy and smile that are both infectious. Yes, I’m one of those who believes that how you “look” and what your body language says means something when you’re the QB. Whatever Flacco may have over Newton in experience is negated by his comatose on-field appearance.

All of this is to say that I would, in a heartbeat, trade Flacco for Newton if I was the Ravens. After the last four games, and with Lewis especially running out of time, I think the Ravens would too.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning (0-8)

Of course the Colts would trade Curtis Painter straight up for Cam Newton. Duh. But what’s the fun in that? The real juicy question would be, right this very moment, would the Colts trade Peyton Manning If He Plays Again for Newton? And the answer is that none of us have enough information to answer. It would all come down to Manning’s health.

If there is even an iota of a chance that he can come back and play at 80-85% of his previous effectiveness, Indy would hold onto Peyton. But if they doubt he ever plays again, even if he wants to and is working like the dickens to get back, wouldn’t Indy have to trade for Cam as opposed to waiting around to see if they suck enough for Luck?

Ultimately, I think the uncertainty would tip the scales in favor of keeping Manning, and that’s the right call. It feels like there is something unfinished about Manning’s tenure in Indianapolis, and though I logically know that neck injuries can end careers, I’d still be shocked if Manning never suits up for Indy again. So I can’t see Indy pulling the trigger on this move. And with the team possibly positioning itself to draft Andrew Luck anyway, there would be no reason to trade Manning before they know as much as possible about his potential comeback.

I anticipate a lot of debate and perhaps disagreement about this one. In fact, I’m already starting to disagree with myself. I better just move along.

• Would they? No
• Should they? No

Houston Texans – Matt Schaub (5-3)

I don’t think for a second that Houston would even entertain this thought, not with Schaub and Kubiak finally on the cusp of making it to the playoffs. As good/bland as Schaub may be, good/bland isn’t necessarily an awful thing for a QB to be on a team that has a great running game, an elite WR, and a strong defense. This is the first time Houston has had all three working in the same season, and Schaub is the right guy to lead them. I wouldn’t mess with what they have going right now, not with the AFC South up for grabs this year and into the future, and I don’t think they would either.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

San Diego Chargers – Philip Rivers (4-2)

Coming into this season it would have seemed laughable for Philip Rivers to be on this list, and perhaps it still is, but Rivers has thrown 7 TDs against 9 INTs this year, and it’s not like he has a Super Bowl title or many playoff skins on the wall to grant him immunity from at least entering this discussion.

Still, I doubt there is a chance the Chargers would seriously consider it. Rivers has a strong regular season track record over multiple seasons, and he has undoubtedly been hurt by Antonio Gates’ absence early this season. Just like I don’t think teams should overreact to a fast early season start and overrate their players (as may be the case right now in Buffalo and Cincy), I don’t think teams should underrate their players because of a slow start.

The irony of ironies, of course, is that the slow-starting Chargers are off to a fast 4-2 start during the season when their QB has more or less stunk. Go figure.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No

Philadelphia Eagles – Michael Vick (3-4)

Another one that is fascinating to think about. The Eagles went all-in on this season and are just now starting to dig themselves out of their early season hole. As tempting as it might be to get Newton, who is similar to Vick but with 6-7 years less mileage, I can’t see Andy Reid doing it. Vick is the better choice for this season and the Eagles are in it to win it in 2011.

That said, I think Newton is showing the ability to do a lot of the things Vick couldn’t or wouldn’t do early in his career. I’d love to see what Reid could do with a guy like Newton, who is not quite the runner Vick is but who is light years ahead of where Vick was as a passer in his rookie season. Just because the Eagles picked this year as the year to go for it all doesn’t mean they should necessarily mortgage a chance to improve themselves for the long term. And is Vick really playing so well that Newton couldn’t come close to replicating him, thus keeping the Eagles in contention this year? I don’t think so.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Dallas Cowboys – Tony Romo (3-4)

Whatever my answer is here it is sure to stir up some controversy, just because that’s how any discussions about Tony Romo are sure to go.

I’ve always been a Romo supporter, thinking that his critics didn’t give him enough credit for being one of the top 10 QBs in the league. While I still think Romo is an above average QB, I’m not as sold on him anymore as a potential champion. Sure, with the right supporting cast he could win a Super Bowl – hell, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl – but I’m no longer sure that Romo can lead a franchise to a Super Bowl, and there is a big difference.

I don’t know if Cam Newton can lead a team to a Super Bowl either. It’s way to early to even consider such questions. But we did just see him lead his college team to a championship in the toughest conference in all of college football, all while rumors and innuendo and investigations were swirling around him constantly. Newton’s got it, whatever it is, and Tony Romo hasn’t proven that he does. So wouldn’t it be worth taking a chance on Newton if you’re convinced Romo probably can’t be the guy to lead a champion?

The answer to this one comes down to your belief in Romo. I no longer believe. Give me Cam. Unfortunately for Cowboys fans, Jerry Jones probably still believes in Romo. At the least, he believes in his own ego and won’t want to admit Romo can’t get it done. Hell, he wouldn’t even trade Martellus Bennett to Cincinnati for a second round pick. Why would he trade Romo for Newton?

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford (6-2)

I considered putting the Lions in the automatic no category, but Mr. Glass didn’t deserve to be considered on par with Brady, Ben, Aaron Rogers, and Drew Brees. He hasn’t played a full season yet, and he hasn’t been so transcendent when he has played that Detroit wouldn’t at least consider the move.

I don’t think they’d do it though. Even with Stafford making way more money than Cam, he is the guy they have built around, and I don’t think the Lions would shake up the franchise that drastically when it is finally experiencing a true ascension.

As for me, I’d do it. Cam is showing that he knows how to utilize a top-fight receiver, and he he does not carry the same injury-prone reputation of Stafford. Add in the cost savings of Newton’s contract over Stafford’s, and I’d much rather have the rookie over the third year guy, even for the rest of the this year and certainly beyond.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler (4-3)

See the entry above about Joe Flacco, replace his name with “Jay Cutler” and replace “Ray Lewis” with “Brian Urlacher”. There is no reason for me to repeat myself.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

Minnesota Vikings – Christian Ponder (2-6)

Ponder and the Vikings beat Newton and the Panthers this past weekend, with Ponder having his second straight impressive start. And while Vikings fans are slowly talking themselves into the Ponder Era, the reality is that the Vikings would have traded St. Paul to draft Newton last year, and as polished as Ponder seems to be both on and off the field, he doesn’t have 1/10th the physical potential of Newton. Minnesota probably should have been an automatic.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes
  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Josh Freeman (4-3)

Freeman was the up-and-coming superstar young quarterback coming into this season, but he has fallen back down to earth a bit through the first half of the year. His interceptions are way up, and he just doesn’t seem as comfortable or confident as he was last year, when he and rookie Mike Williams were as explosive as just about any QB-WR combo in the league.

Still, despite his struggles, I think Tampa Bay is committed to Freeman as the future of its franchise, and I know that Raheem Morris (who coached Freeman in college) believes in his young QB. Freeman is another guy who surprised me by having a smoother transition to the NFL than I thought he would. He has all of the physical tools to bust out of his current slump and still become a top-10 QB. I’d hold tight, and I think Tampa Bay would too.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan (4-3)

Like the Lions with Stafford, I don’t think Atlanta would consider making this move for more than a few seconds, but Ryan is not quite the slam dunk franchise QB that some make him out to be. He has not risen to the occasion in the Falcons’ biggest games, and he does not possess the accuracy that the top flight quarterbacks all have. He does “look” the part, he’s tough, and he’s a strong leader, which is why Atlanta is surely satisfied with Ryan and not looking to move on, nor should they be. As many questions as I have about Ryan, he’s shown enough to make me think that, unlike Romo, he could lead a franchise to a Super Bowl. With the investment Atlanta has already made in him, they’d hold tight, and I agree.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

San Francisco 49ers – Alex Smith (6-1)

Another very, very intriguing one simply because of how this season has started. This one falls right in line with the Bills and Bengals, two teams doing far better than anyone expected thanks to solid play from their QB. Smith has not been asked to win games for the 49ers this year, he’s just been asked not to lose them with a great defense and solid running game by his side. And he hasn’t.

Still, this is Alex Smith. He has not done anything spectacular this year that Cam Newton couldn’t have done, even as a rookie. The issue would be whether Newton would have made mistakes that Smith wouldn’t have made to sabotage the 49ers in a game or two. That I don’t know. But I do know that, again, this is Alex Smith. As solid as he’s been, and as much of an impact as Jim Harbaugh has made on him, the difference in talent and swagger between he and Newton is obvious.

To me, the 6-1 record of the 49ers, and their incredible four game lead this early in this season, would make the team more likely to do such a deal. They’d have some cushion if Newton struggled to adapt to his new surroundings; though one thing we have learned about Newton is that he rarely if ever struggles to adapt. It may be his greatest strength of all.

• Would they? Yes (Well…maybe…probably)
  
• Should they? Yes
  

St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford (1-6)

Following right along with my thoughts on Stafford and Ryan, I don’t think there is much of a chance that St. Louis would pull the plug on the Bradford Era already, especially considering Bradford was the NFL’s Rookie of the Year last year and just needs protection and a few good targets to showcase his pinpoint accuracy. But like Stafford and Ryan, Bradford hasn’t earned Automatic No status. So the Rams might think about it, especially considering the money, but I think they’d stick with Bradford, and I wouldn’t blame them. I still think he’s going to be a star.

• Would they? No
  
• Should they? No
  

Arizona Cardinals – Kevin Kolb (1-6)

I thought long and hard about putting Arizona in Automatic Yes territory, but would they really cut the cord on Kolb so soon after giving him a long-term deal? Of course they should, but we know how egos sometimes get in the way of sound decision making, so I just wonder if they would.

Ultimately, I think so. Larry Fitzgerald has to be watching Cam Newton resuscitate Steve Smith’s career and get horribly jealous. That’s what Kolb was supposed to do for Fitzy, but obviously he hasn’t come close. Not that Arizona should be surprised by this mind you, because Kolb is basically just doing exactly what he did in Philadelphia. What, should he have turned down the money?

I don’t think it would take Arizona very long to say yes here.

• Would they? Yes
  
• Should they? Yes

###

So, how many teams would trade their current QB for Cam Newton right now?

Okay, let’s tally up the “would they” column, as decided by me:

• No: Buffalo, New York Jets, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Philadelphia, Dallas, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Baltimore, Chicago, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Combined with the automatics from up above, that means I think 14 teams would trade their current starting quarterback straight up for Cam Newton. That seems very low to me; and of course it would seem low to me because I personally project a lot of disconnect between what teams should do and what they would do were this a real rather than hypothetical situation.

If I tally it up in terms of my “should they” answers, it would look much different:

• No: Indianapolis, Houston, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, St. Louis
• Yes: Buffalo, New York Jets, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Dallas, Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, San Francisco, Arizona

Based on what I would do in each team’s case, I think 20 teams’ QB situations would be improved immediately with Cam Newton. Maybe for a few there would be a short-term step back, but it would be worth it for the projected long-term steps forward.

But what I am really interested in here is your opinion.

Below is a poll that lists all of the teams I think are not obvious. Vote for all of the ones who you think should (not necessarily would) trade their current QB straight up for Cam Newton in our hypothetical fantasy. Then take to the comment section to state your peace or to agree/disagree with any of my assessments.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I invite your thoughts below.

Before we count down the NFL’s suckiest, let’s get our weekly reminder of what the contestants are playing for.

Before this past Saturday, we already knew that Andrew Luck can throw, that he can run, that he can tackle, that he can catch, and that he can design tall buildings (while probably being able to leap over them too), but now we also know that he can respond to adversity and be clutch when he needs to be.

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superluck! (Photo credit: AP/Jae C. Hong via ESPN.com)

The undefeated and highly ranked Stanford Cardinal faced their first real test of the season on Saturday against Matt Barkley, Layla Kiffin, and the USC Trojans. Luck and the Cardinal were able to overcome a late interception by The Chosen One to force overtime, where they ultimately won 56-48 after three extra frames.

Luck’s numbers were predictably sterling. He was 29-40 for 330 yards, 3 TDs, and that one interception. Yet, because Andrew Luck excretes lilies and daffodils and toots potpourri, even that pick is being turned into a positive. It’s almost as if Luck threw the pick-6 (which put USC up 7 with three minutes play) just to challenge himself and show us all that not only can he dominate people but he can vanquish adversity too.

Either way, everyone who was bowing at the alter of Luck before Saturday (which is everyone) is doing so with even more vigor now.

The question is, after another Sunday of NFL action, which “professional” football teams are putting themselves in the best position to draft Luck and guarantee themselves at least 8 out of the next 10 Super Bowls?

As we do every week, we’ll break it down for you right here in the Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings.

 NFL “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings for Week 9

1. Miami Dolphins (0-7)

The Dolphins did it again. They played a halfway decent game, were competitive against a good team, and still found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Quarterback Matt Mooreino turned in the best passing day by a Dolphins QB since Week 1: 13-22, 138 yards, 0 TDs, and a 1 INT. He also ran the ball five times for 31 yards, equaling the career rushing output of Dan Marino. The ‘Fins even got 120 total yards from Reggie Bush (including 103 on the ground!) as the full-time Pizza Hut pitchman and part-time running back used rumors of a Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries break up to motivate himself into the best game he’s played since stonewalling NCAA investigators.

But, as usual for these Dolphins, it was all for naught. The Giants won 20-17, outscoring Miami 10-0 in the decisive 4th quarter, dropping the Dolphins to 0-7.

I continue to keep Miami in the top spot because of the fact that luck seems to be so much on their side in their quest for the #1 pick. They continue to be in ball games yet somehow lose/win. It’s very curious. It’s almost as if they are a team of destiny. Much like the St. Louis Cardinals just couldn’t seem to lose after late August, the Dolphins cannot seem to “lose” either.

2. Indianapolis Colts (0-8)

I suppose the Colts really could be considered 1a. In fact, objectively, they probably should be #1 were it not for my own wishful thinking. Indianapolis already has one more loss than the Dolphins, plus they are by far a worse team. Indy’s point differential is -131, and they are the only team other than St. Louis to have a differential of 100 or more. Miami’s is just -59.

On the bright side for the Colts, they may finally have found the heir apparent to Marshall Faulk and Edgerrin James. Curtis “Thor” Painter rumbled for an 11.3 yard per carry average on seven rushing attempts against Tennessee on Sunday. So if they do end up with Andrew Luck, it will surely help the rookie’s transition to have Painter behind him ready to ground and pound.

Also in the Colts’ favor is the continued presence of Jim Caldwell. Maybe it’s time we stop criticizing Tony Dungy for hand-picking a cardboard cutout of himself to be the Colts coach. Dungy knew in 2009 when he tabbed Caldwell to be the coach that the Manning Era would have to end at some point. That clearly has to be why he nominated Caldwell and his 26-63 career head coaching record (all compiled at Wake Forest) to be the man. Now three years later, everything Dungy did to build the Colts up has come crashing down. Oh sure, blame it all on Peyton’s injury. But as I presciently did last season, I blame Caldwell.

Clearly these are the two favorites to suck enough for Luck. As we did last week, I’ll put it to a vote and let you decide who has the leg up.

Last week, the Dolphins narrowly edged the Colts 49%-47% in the voting, with St. Louis siphoning off the other 4%. Now that the Rams have eliminated themselves by trading for a #1 WR and stomping the Saints, who is #1?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

3. Denver Broncos (2-5)

Tim Tebow is struggling so mightily, with a gameplan so clearly not tailored to his strengths, that national writers are penning articles like this one, accusing John Fox of sabotaging his QB. What else really needs to be said about the situation in Denver right now?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: John Elway would loooooove to get his hands on Andrew Luck. Not only is Luck perhaps the greatest college QB prospect since Elway himself, he’s a fellow Stanford Cardinal who has all the skills to excel in a pro style offense. Though I doubt he’s a Satan worshiper, and he may well win a Heisman and perhaps a national title, Luck is otherwise the exact opposite of Tebow. And as much as I like Tebow and want to him succeed, it’s not going to happen in Denver. That’s obvious.

However, whether the Broncos stick with Tebow, or let Brady Quinn prance around and overthrow open receivers, or turn back to Kyle Orton, they are not going to be winning many games. They may have already won too many to have a prayer of competing with the Dolphins and Colts, but damn it if they won’t try from here on out.

4. Arizona Cardinals (1-6)

The Cardinals are now tied with the surging Rams for last place in the NFC West, a full five games behind the 49ers with not even half the season over. That is remarkable. What is also remarkable is how much Kevin Kolb continues to suck and how badly Arizona defends the pass. If either were not true, they would have been able to beat the Ravens on Sunday.

Alas, it keeps getting worse for the Cardinals, now losers of six straight, with little reason for hope on the horizon.

5. Washington Redskins (3-4)

Yep, I’m putting Washington above a handful teams with 1 and 2 losses. Why? Because John Beck and Rex Grossman, that’s why.

Washington tricked everyone into thinking that they were a different team this year when they started 3-1. Nope. They’re the same crappy team with the same crappy QB play and same creepy-looking coach.

Image source: UnathleticMag

Remember, I’m trying to project forward here, and after getting shutout by the Bills, and with so many injuries stacking up, and with one of the few owners who might actually be clueless enough to order a “Suck 4 Luck” strategy, the Redskins have plenty of time and potential to make up their loss deficit before the season ends.

6. Seattle Seahawks (2-5)

It’s good to be the San Francisco 49ers. Half of their division is in the top 6 in the Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings, and the team not yet listed is already buried five games below in the standings.

As for Seattle, they just let Cincinnati completely obliterate the supposed Qwest Field advantage. A rookie QB and a rookie WR, playing without their workhorse running back, strode into Seattle, kicked the Seahawks asses all over the field, and left the Seahawks with a 2-5 record and one of the league’s worst point differentials.

But hey, on the bright side, even though the Seahawks have probably won too much to get Luck, they might be in a good position to grab Matt Barkley. In all seriousness, he won’t be a bad consolation prize for whoever doesn’t quite suck enough.

7. Cleveland Browns (3-4)

Yep, another 3-4 team gets listed before a bunch of teams with fewer wins. But forgive me for not being impressed by victories over the Colts, Dolphins, and Seahawks. Yes, those are the three teams Cleveland has beaten, so you tell me why they should be ranked ahead of a team like St. Louis, which can beat New Orleans, or Carolina, which actually has an offense that can score points.

Cleveland is almost completely devoid of difference-makers on the offensive side of the ball. San Francisco exposed that again yesterday. And with the schedule about to get much, much tougher (at Houston, @ Cincinnati, two games v Baltimore and Pittsburgh), I’m having a hard time seeing where the wins are going to come from outside of games against St. Louis, Arizona, and Jacksonville.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6)

Speaking of Jacksonville, the Jaguars come in at #8 this week. Admittedly, you could make a case for the Jags to be as high as 5th on this list, but I guess I feel bad for assuming they’d lose last Monday night. Plus, the Jags still have two games left against Indianapolis and one against Cleveland, which should guarantee them at least two more wins.

9. St. Louis Rams (1-6)

I have been very hesitant to bury this team because of my belief in Sam Bradford and my thinking that by the time Bradford and Josh McDaniels get on the same page the Rams’ schedule will ease up and give them the opportunity to get some wins. I didn’t expect a victory over New Orleans, but this does show what the Rams are capable of doing.

With Brandon Lloyd now giving whoever plays QB a legitimate #1 option, and Steven Jackson playing like a man possessed, it would not surprise me at all to see the Rams parlay future games against Arizona, Cleveland, Seattle, Arizona again, and Seattle again into at least 3-4 more victories. If they can steal one against San Francisco in Week 17 (with the 49ers likely to have a playoff spot locked up), this could be a 6 or 7 win team by the time it’s all said and done.

10. Dallas Cowboys (3-4)

I could have, and perhaps should have, chosen the Panthers or Vikings for this spot. But based on what I saw yesterday, the Panthers and the Vikings would both have demolished Dallas. Did the Cowboys even show up in Philadelphia Sunday night? It sure didn’t look like it. And though it’s easy to say that Dallas could be 5-2 or 6-1 right now, they could also be 1-6 or 2-5 if the balls didn’t bounce their way against San Francisco and Washington.

Seriously, the Dallas Cowboys football team is a football team that needs to play football much better than they have been playing football in football games during this football season football football football.

Image source: Popfi.com

No really. It’s time for Tony Romo, Rob Ryan, and the Cowboys to put up or shut up, but they’ll probably just keep playing like the middle-of-the-pack team that they are and finish 8-8. Either way, it’s now legitimate to start wondering if the Panthers and Vikings are more settled at QB than the Cowboys. I’ve long been a Tony Romo supporter, but even I’m starting to lose the faith that he’ll ever become anything more than what he is: good, but nowhere near great.

Honorable mention: Carolina (2-6), Minnesota (2-6), Kansas City Chiefs (3-3), New Orleans (5-3)…just for this week.

**********

Okay folks, now it’s your chance to agree with me, ream me, or just tell me how ridiculous of a post idea this is and how it sullies the integrity of the game. All’s fair in love and comment sections. Have at it.

And speaking of that Cable Guy-euphemism…how did the object of everyone’s suckaffection do this week? Eh, so so.

Andrew Luck’s 4th-ranked Stanford Cardinal eeked out a 65-21 victory over then-25th ranked Washington. Luck was a Krenzelesque 16-21 for 169 yards and two TDs. Obviously the yardage and TD totals are thoroughly disappointing, but at least he improved his shaky 70+ completion percentage to a now-respectable 71.8%.

The real star of the game was the Cardinal rushing attack, which featured three players who ran for at least 93 yards. Hey, maybe whoever gets picks two and three in this year’s draft should take a look at Stephan Taylor, Tyler Gaffney, and/or Anthony Wilkerson to shore up their running game…(or not, since taking running backs not named Adrian Peterson early in drafts is dumb, dumb, dumb).

Now that we’ve reviewed the stakes, let’s take our weekly look at how the suckiest of the sucky stack up in the race to suck to the lucky bottom* of this year’s NFL standings.

* – assuming, of course, that the junior Luck actually turns pro. That’s right, he’s still only a junior. Didn’t you know? Wouldn’t it just be so knee-slapping funny if he didn’t after all the commotion about him this season.

Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings: Week 8

1. Miami Dolphins (0-6)

This is not to take anything away from the impressive case that Indianapolis made last night for the #1 spot in these prestigious rankings, but sometimes margin of defeat and margin of suck are not directly correlated.

Unlike many teams that are winless this far into the season, the Dolphins have actually, legitimately outplayed most of their opponents for the majority of their games. If you’ve spent any time watching this team, you know that this amazing statement is true. To continue losing while outplaying teams, in some respects, is more pathetic than just straight up sucking…like the Rams. (More on that steaming batch of suck in a minute.)

Yesterday, the Dolphins became the first team since the merger to lose a game in which they were up by 15 or more points with three minutes or less to play in regulation. And they lost to a team that was being led by some of the worst quarterback play I’ve ever seen. I’m on record as liking and supporting Tim Tebow’s NFL chances, but there is no other way to describe his play through 55 minutes yesterday than the following sentence. Up until Denver’s improbable comeback, I could have dropped a deuce in a brown paper sack, lit it on fire, and set it on someone’s porch, and bystanders (even the owner of the house on whose porch the turd sack was flaming) would have had a hard time deciphering whether that or Tebow was better suited to play QB in the NFL.

Between allowing Tebow to be Good Tebow during those final five minutes, and not recovering an inside kick that was in their hands, and the awful call by Tony Sparano to go for two, and the oh-so-appropriate shots of Stephen Ross chatting up Urban Meyer during the 4th quarter…the smog of suck that engulfed Miami yesterday simply cannot be topped, even though Drew Brees just now threw another TD pass against the Colts.

Speaking of…

2. Indianapolis Colts (0-7)

Congratulations to the Colts, the first team to seven losses in 2011! Round of applause everybody!

Colts fans looking for solace after the Sunday night drubbing in New Orleans (62-7…’nuff said) need to look no further than Jim Caldwell’s post game comments (via PFT).

“I have to take responsibility for our team and the way that they played. We just didn’t play well,” Caldwell said. “I think the guys fought. We didn’t execute well, but I think the effort was good.”

A team loses by 55 points, and the head coach takes responsibility? What a shocking and rare display of leadership by the catatonic Caldwell. That’ll turn some shiz some around!

To celebrate, here is an animated GIF of Caldwell taking responsibility:

Image source: The Scores Report

And be heartened Colts fans: the men who get paid millions to play a game “fought” and “the effort was good.” Whew. Good to know. Both are unexpected positives to take away from last night’s Mardi Gross celebration on Colts Fans Need Borboun Street.

Still, at least the Colts got bludgeoned by a good team. And at least their fans knew it was over within five minutes, rather than the Dolphins, who tricked their fans into thinking they’d get a win against a bad team until five minutes were left in the game.

3. St. Louis Rams (0-6)

The Rams got manhandled by the Cowboys. There is not other way to describe it.

Dallas’ offense had been having trouble running in place this season, let alone forward for positive yardage. Yet, somehow, with backup running rookie DeMarco Murray filling in for the injured Felix Jones, and a bevy of offensive line issues, the Cowboys rushed for damn near 300 yards en route to a 34-7 bitch slap of Steve Spagnuolo’s crew.

I’m not going to come down as hard on the Rams as I am on the Dolphins or Colts though. The Rams will actually be getting their starting QB back soon, plus they were probably still dizzy on Sunday morning from watching Albert Pujols hit homer after homer Saturday night at The Ballpark in Arlington. And the addition of Brandon Lloyd should improve their offense moving forward.

With these teams clearly at the head of the bottom of the class, it’s your turn to tell us who you think is #1:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

4. No one

I’m skipping #4, because truly no other NFL team deserves to within a spot of the three teams I’ve already broken down. They are more than just a combined 0-19. They are making it almost a compliment to describe what they are doing as “suck”. We may need a new word for these power rankings, even if it doesn’t rhyme with Luck. Any suggestions?

5. Arizona Cardinals (1-5)

The Cardinals really aren’t that far behind the trisuckverate listed above. If it weren’t for their close Week 1 victory in Cam Newton’s first start, Arizona would be winless and already dreaming of a life that doesn’t so closely resemble Kolb. But they do have some games left against Seattle and St. Louis, so that should net them a victory or two, even if Chris “Porcelain” Wells is injured and can’t play.

6. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6) (actually 2-5)

Jacksonville and Baltimore play tonight, so technically the Jags’ record after seven games could be 2-5, but I’m confidently chalking the L up for the Jags. Do you trust Blaine Gabbert against Ray Lewis and the Ravens’ defense? Neither do I. The Jags D will likely put up a valiant effort and frustrate Flacco and Co., but it won’t be enough to compensate for the negative points sure to be put up by the offense. Poor Maurice Jones-Drew.

Update: Oops. I had this one wrong. Way to completely lay an egg on national TV Baltimore. And Jacksonville, well to come and play. I’ll humbly accept any and all disparagement that Jags fans want to hurl my way in the comment section.

Oh, and for the record, yes: both the Cards and Jags, despite acquiring “franchise” QBs this past offseason, would draft Andrew Luck. In a heartbeat.

7. Denver Broncos (2-4)

A miracle win over the Miami Dolphins does not impress me. And though I still think that Tebow has a future in the NFL (even if that future may be best served with him being a backup QB…a role which I think he could excel in..but that’s a post for another day), I don’t think it will be in Denver. In fact, according to my sources, oil and water were seen snickering at how poor a mix Tebow and John Fox are.

Broncos fans and Tebow sycophants everywhere need to enjoy what they saw last week and not let it lull them into a false sense of confidence. For myriad reasons, that win simply will not/cannot be duplicated. So unless Tebow makes vast improvements from the pocket, or the Broncos actually do more things during the first 55 minutes of games to play to his strengths, Denver could still be in the running for Luck if the teams above them stumble and bumble their way to a couple of victories.

8 & 9. Seattle Seahawks (2-4) and Cleveland Browns (3-3)

It’s a damn shame anyone had to win this game yesterday, because neither team deserved to. When reached for comment, Lloyd Christmas had this to say:

With as many unilateral decisions as Roger Goodell makes, why can’t he institute a rule that if two teams play as badly as Seattle and Cleveland did yesterday, that the game be declared a double loss? We’d all be better off.

10. Tennessee Titans (3-3)

You may be wondering why Tennessee and its three victories, as well as Cleveland and its three victories, are in the top ten when Minnesota (1-6), Carolina (2-5), and Philadelphia (2-4), among others, are not. Simply put: I have more confidence in those teams to finish with a better record than I do Cleveland or Tennessee based on current trends.

Tennessee was beyond suck yesterday, and the talk has already turned to letting Jake Locker take over, who I think is even less prepared to lead an NFL team than Blaine Gabbert. Just watch: unless Chris Johnson gets up from laying on his pile of money long enough to actually be a competent NFL running back again, the Titans will make a slow, steady climb up these rankings.

Too bad for the Titans they won those games early in the season, as there is no way anyone with more than two wins at season’s end will have a chance at Luck.

Special mention: Kansas City Chiefs (3-3)

The Kansas City Chiefs opened up these Suck 4 Luck Power Rankings at #1, and have made a steady descent to respectability since then. I have to give kudos where kudos are deserved, and Todd Haley, Matt Cassel, and crew deserve major kudos for digging themselves out of an 0-3 hole, despite debilitating injuries. They are now right in the think of the AFC West race.

Let this be a lesson to the Sergeants of Suck disparaged in this post. You’re only a few wins away from having no chance at the most universally respected QB prospect since John Elway.

So keep on sucking. The future of your franchises depends on it.

**********

What do you think? Which rankings do you agree/disagree with? Who I was too hard/easy on? The comment section patiently awaits your sucky comments.

* – Tony Sparano photo credit: NewHaven.edu

No, they most certainly are not; not when quarterback is by far the most important position on the field, in a sport where it is virtually impossible to win consistently without at least above average play from the position.

So even though this post series’ namesake likely thinks I’m an idiot for continuing to post it, post I will. Because while it may be “stupid” from his view, no one who has a franchise QB is lamenting the losses it likely took to get them. Neither will whoever grabs Luck, as close to a “can’t miss” quarterback prospect as we’ve seen in a long while.

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-6)

It’s not often that a player’s legend can grow without taking a snap, but that is exactly what is happening with Peyton Manning this season. Though it may hard to remember right now, as the Colts bungle their way to loss after loss, but coming into this season the Colts had won at least 10 games every year since 2001. In all but two of those seasons they won 12 games.

I think the Colts would have struggled this year even with Manning, as they did last year en route to 10 hard-fought victories, but certainly they would be at or near the top of the AFC South and poised for another playoff berth. Without Manning, they are the worst team in football. Is it possible we have been underestimating Manning’s brilliance all along?

Oh, and just to reiterate: the Colts would and should take Luck #1 if they get the chance. You don’t pass on a franchise quarterback when your current franchise QB is in his mid-30s and inactive because of a neck injury. You don’t. And there is no argument that will me convince me or any reasonable-minded NFL observer otherwise.

2. Miami Dolphins (0-5)

I am posting this on Monday morning, so we do not know yet if the Dolphins will beat the Jets in New York tonight. Except that we do. They won’t. Even with Miami coming off of their bye, they aren’t marching into hostile territory with Matt Moore at a QB and a potentially unhinged Brandon Marshall and winning. Won’t happen.

And I say this as someone who has rooted for the Dolphins my whole life, so I’d love to be wrong…except that I wouldn’t, because a win would screw the Dolphins over in the only standings that matter to Dolfans this year: these standings. The journey to Marino’s heir has been a long, lonely, and losing one for the Dolphins. But if they suck for Luck, the journey could finally end.

Update: Via Larry Brown Sports, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross seems to agree.

3. Denver Broncos (1-4)

The Broncos are a total wild card in these sweepstakes. No one really knows what to expect when Tim Tebow takes over as starter next week. Sure, we all expect to see a low completion percentage and a passing game that functions at about a high school level. But we also might see wins, because Tebow just seems like one of those rare breeds who can completely break the mold and win unconventionally through running, will, and leadership.

So why does Denver remain ahead of the other one-win teams in these standings? Because it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how desperately John Elway would love to get Andrew Luck. It’s so obvious, the reasons don’t even need to be explained. But Tim Tebow could ruin it all by being himself, a winner. It’ll be fascinating to see if he can do it.

4. St. Louis Rams (0-5)

Awful. Just awful. That’s what the Rams are. And if they didn’t have a second half schedule that seems forgiving, and a young QB who I still think can be built around, I’d think about moving them above Miami.

But make no mistake: even with a franchise QB already in tow, the Rams would still win the Suck 4 Luck Sweepstakes by finishing with the worst record. What they could get in return for the #1 pick would be astounding. A part of me hopes it happens just to see what teams are willing to trade. If the Saints traded their entire draft to pick Ricky Williams, imagine what a team might trade for Luck.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5)

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: I’m not sold on Blaine Gabbert as the QB of the future in Jacksonville – at least if the Jags have any intention of that future including consistent winning. And though Jacksonville has a solid defense, they only have one player on offense: Maurice Jones-Drew. Jacksonville simply won’t be able to score enough to win, and they are a definite darkhorse in this race.

6. Minnesota Vikings (1-5)

I still think Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen alone are good enough to get this team three or four more wins, but with Christian Ponder possibly taking over as soon as this week, I cannot keep thinking wishfully that Minnesota will turn it around. They suck. And Leslie Frazier might not be the answer at coach. It’s a shame, because I hate to see so much talent in Adrian Peterson go to waste on a crappy team.

7. Carolina Panthers (1-5)

Carolina finally couldn’t hang in Week 6, losing by double-digits to Atlanta in the Georgia Dome. Cam Newton was his usually dynamic self, but it’s quite clear that this Carolina D just cannot stop teams enough for them to get wins. Like St. Louis, winning the Suck 4 Luck Sweepstakes would be a big boon to Newton and the franchise because of what they could get in return for the first pick, but I think Cam can get them to a few more wins this season, which will give them no chance of sucking enough for Luck.

8. Arizona Cardinals (1-4)

I guess I think Kevin Kolb will play a little better in the season’s second half once he’s more comfortable in his new surroundings, even though his performance so far this year is exactly what we should have expected based on his performance in Philadelphia. So we’ll see.

9. Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)

10. Seattle Seahawks (2-3)

I know he’s wearing the wrong jersey here, and is currently injured, but I love this picture of Tarvaris Jackson.

Just missed: Cleveland Browns (2-3), Washington Redskins (3-2)

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Stay tuned Tuesday or Wednesday when we post our complete NFL Power Rankings, of which I can make one guarantee: Green Bay will be #1. After that, it’s anybody’s guess.

Update: The complete NFL Week 6 Power Rankings are now posted.

Week 5 is almost in the books, with just the highly anticipated Lions-Bears Monday night matchup left to play. Since neither of those teams will be bad enough this season to even come close to the #1 pick, there is no need to wait on tonight’s result to post the latest edition of the “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.

Just in case you need a reminder of why there is so much fuss over Luck, here is his stat line from this weekend: 26-33, 370 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT leading his 7th ranked Stanford Cardinal in a 48-7 rout over Colorado. What makes Luck remarkable (or perhaps the Legend of Luck so remarkable) is that when I saw that stat line I was disappointed. AN INTERCEPTION? The kid’s slumping.

For the season, Luck now has 11 TD passes against that lone INT. He is completing 71.4% of is passes with a yards per attempt number north of 9.0. Even against an easy schedule, that’s absurd. As are these videos.

Also absurd: the Indianapolis Colts’ complete inability to win without Peyton Manning. I mean, we knew he was integral to their operations, but good gracious. That’s why the Colts remain in the top spot for the Great Luck in this week’s “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.

Suck 4 Luck NFL Power Rankings: Week 6

1. Indianapolis Colts (0-5)

They are the first team to five losses, and they continue to find innovative ways to lose. And as I’ve said every week, the Colts getting the #1 pick would set up the most fascinating decision (assuming Peyton Manning can play next year). It would also give the city of Indianapolis another franchise QB it doesn’t deserve. But until the Colts beat someone, they are the odds-on favorite.

2. Miami Dolphins (0-4)

Despite going yet another weekend with very little offensive production, the Miami Dolphins narrowly avoided losing to BYE. It was a close call though, as is every game Tony Sparano coaches, it seems. Anyway, with Chad Henne out and the reins now turned over Mage Rosenmoore, the Dolphins’ chances of sucking enough for Luck have improved. They just need someone to let the Colts win.

3. Denver Broncos (1-4)

Per Peter King, the Broncos are the worst team in football ever since starting the Josh McDaniels Era 6-0 (yes, that really happened). And this weekend’s developments means that Tim Tebow will most likely be taking over as the starting QB for the rest of the year.

I’ve said all along that Denver was dark horse in this race, with Stanford legend John Elway surely not minding if the Broncos sucked enough to have a chance to take Luck, the current and future Stanford legend. Of course, if the Power of Tebow compels the Broncos to an 11-0 finish and a playoff spot (GO AHEAD…DOUBT HIM!) he won’t get that chance. But if things keep going in Denver as they’ve gone for the last two seasons, they’ll stay right there in this race, with a pivotal game coming soon in Miami.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)

They suck, and Jack Del Rio is as good as gone. Plus, I don’t think Blaine Gabbert is the long-term answer at QB, and whoever takes over as coach next year might not either.Regardless, I’m becoming more and more convinced that they’d take Luck if given the chance.

5. Arizona Cardinals (1-4)

The Cardinals also suck, and they’d be 0-5 if it weren’t for that Week 1 win over the Panthers in Cam Newton’s first career start. They also don’t have a quarterback. I think they had to go get Kevin Kolb if they believed he was a franchise QB, but he’s just not. If they do suck enough to get Luck, Larry Fitzgerald would probably commit a homicide if they didn’t take him. (He can’t really still believe in Kolb, can he?)

6. Philadelphia Eagles (1-4)

Oh Andy Reid, you diabolical genius. Surely the QB guru knew that Michael Vick is not the long-term answer at QB, so he’s purposefully sabotaging his team’s chances to win with inexplicable game management decisions in hopes of having the chance to draft Luck. Right? I mean, isn’t that the only explanation for some of the decisions we’ve seen this year?

7. St. Louis Rams (0-4)

Why are the Rams lower on this list than the Eagles, who beat them, and several other teams who have actually won a game? Because I am still not writing them off yet. I’ll keep saying it: once the schedule eases up and Sam Bradford gets more comfortable in the offense (and maybe, you know, doesn’t get clobbered every time he drops back) the Rams will start winning some games.

8. Minnesota Vikings (1-4)

Congrats Minnesota. You beat Arizona. Whoop-de-goldarn-do. I’d love to rank them higher, but Adrian Peterson alone is going to win this team at least four or five games through sheer will and immense talent alone. Just like he did on Sunday. But McNabb still sucks, so Minnesota needs to let Christian Ponder play so they know what they have in the unlikely event that they suck enough to get Luck.

9. Carolina Panthers (1-4)

Along with St. Louis, Carolina wouldn’t take Luck even if they got the #1 pick. They’d have the luxury of trading it to someone for A LOT of value. But I don’t think they’ll get the chance. Cam Newton is keeping the Panthers close, and they are going to win some games later this year. That kid is good. Very good.

10. Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)

Why do the Chiefs stay on this list as opposed to the Seahawks? Because the only two teams KC has beaten are both on this list. Seattle actually went on the road to New York and got a win with their backup QB. I’d never have thought it possible, so I have to give them some respect. KC? Quit bullying the crappy teams and pick on someone your own size. You made the playoffs last year. This is still embarrassing.

Feel free to vent below in the comments. I’m sure you’ll disagree with one or all of these selections.

Also, check out With Leather’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings, and check back later in the week for our complete NFL Power Rankings.