Terrible performance after terrible performance, the fans are there. They’re hoping and praying, but still have faith that their Brownies can win.

Even after an 0-3 start, this Sunday was no different.

The game started off like a typical Browns’ game, with the Bengals scoring twice early to get a commanding 14-0 lead. The Browns had possession of the football for a total of 52 seconds in the first quarter.

The Browns lucked out when defensive monster Shaun Rodgers blocked a Shayne Graham FG attempt. It was a huge relief for the team since Carson Palmer had led the Bengals all the way down to the 5 yard line, a drive that went almost the length of the field. That momentum for the Browns, however, was quickly drowned out by a short 3-and-out.

The game started to brighten up for the Browns after a 58-yard kickoff return by Joshua Cribbs. The Browns marched all the way to the 21-yard line. Then, the things that seem to only happen in Cleveland, happened. After what seemed to be a good drive, Jerome Harrison was stripped of the ball by defensive-end Robert Geathers which was returned for a touchdown.

The day then started to look better as the Browns started to make some plays.

Derek Anderson was starting to connect with his receivers, and the defense was making stops, even forcing an interception. The Browns actually looked ready to play.

They thought they had scored a touchdown on a 24-yard pass from Anderson to the rookie Mohammed Massaquoi. However, he was called out of bounds at the 1 yard line. Derek Anderson then threw a short pass to tight end Steve Heiden in the back of the end zone, and the Browns were back in it.

For the first time in nine quarters, Cleveland had scored a touchdown.

The Browns took a trip down the field but Derek Anderson was intercepted in the endzone by cornerback Jonathan Joseph. After a Bengals 3-and-out, Cleveland made it down the field again. This led to a one-yard rushing touchdown by Derek Anderson.

The Browns had tied it at 14, and what started out looking like a blowout was becoming an intense game.

After the touchdown, Andre Caldwell fumbled the kickoff return and it was recovered by the Browns’ Blake Costanzo. The Bengals’ defense clenched down, only allowing a field goal. This made the game 17-14 in favor of the Browns. A series of field goals later tied the game at 20 and took both teams into overtime.

Cincinnati won the coin toss, and started with the ball on the 15 yard line. Possession changed 6 times until, with 3:23 left on the clock, the Bengals received a touchback and started on their own 20. As Palmer threw his way down the field, things looked good or the Bengals until they reached 4th & 11. There was 1:04 left on the clock, on Cleveland’s 41.

Carson Palmer had just been sacked by defensive tackle Corey Williams, and things didn’t look so great after all.

But then, out of nowhere, Palmer rushed up the middle for a 15-yard gain. That put the nail in the coffin as the Bengals kicked the winning field goal as time expired.

Even though the Browns lost a thriller to their division rival, things looked better on Sunday. The Browns were getting down the field, making plays, and most importantly, scoring touchdowns.

The young players that stuck out were Mohammed Massaqoui and Jerome Harrison.

Massaqoui had 8 receptions for 148 yards. Minus the fumble, Harrison had a good performance with 29 carries for 121 yards. It looks as if Derek Anderson secured himself a spot as the starter for next week with a pretty decent performance. He threw 26-48 for 269 yards with 1 TD, 1 INT, also scoring a rushing TD.

Linebacker D’Qwell Jackson had the most tackles out of both teams with 12. Shaun Rodgers also blocked his 13th career field goal.

Still, you have to think Browns’ fans are getting restless with head coach Eric Mangini after an 0-4 start.

Carson Palmer was clutch for the Bengals, throwing 23-44 for 230 yards with 2 TD, 1 INT. Cincinnati’s leading rusher was Cedric Benson, carrying the ball 18 times for 74 yards.

After this win, the Bengals are in a tie with the Baltimore Ravens for first place in the AFC North Division. After beating two division rivals in back-to-back weeks, the Bengals have to be feeling good. The Bengals play their third rival, the Ravens, next week to determine who will take first place. With this win, the Bengals are off to their best start since 2006.

At 3-4, the Browns currently sit two full games and a tie-breaker behind the Pittsburgh Steelers, as well as a game and a tie-breaker behind the Baltimore Ravens. But is it possible that the Browns are actually in good position to make a run at the AFC North crown? Let’s compare the remaining schedules of the Browns and the Steelers. (Sorry Ravens, I know that you spanked the Browns at home earlier this year, but Joe Flacco is your quarterback and Cam Cameron is your offensive coordinator. I’m an IU fan and have been a Dolphins fan my whole life as well — Cam Cameron ruined both football teams. Screw him. Anyway, I refuse to believe that Baltimore will still be standing once December rolls around.)

The Cleveland Browns remaining schedule for 2008 (with opponents current records as of 10/26):

Nov. 2nd v Baltimore (4-3)
Nov. 6th v Denver (4-3)
Nov. 17th at Buffalo (5-2)
Nov. 23rd v Houston (3-4)
Nov. 30th v Indianapolis (3-3)
Dec. 7 at Tennessee (6-0)
Dec. 15 at Philadelphia (4-3)
Dec. 21 v Cincinnati (0-8)
Dec. 28 at Pittsburgh (5-2)

I am coming out right now and predicting consecutive victories for the Browns over Baltimore and Denver at home. Derek Anderson is playing much more mistake-free football than he was when the Browns played at Baltimore, and it was his poorly thrown interceptions that swung all of the momentum towards Baltimore in that game. And Denver has slowed down after their hot start, and two of their wins came courtesy of the referees more than their own actual play. This puts the Browns at 5-4.

The Monday nighter against Buffalo will be tough. The Bills are a solid team and play well at home. It’s a game the Browns could go in and steal, but probably not likely. Then Houston and Indianapolis come to Cleveland. Both teams have been wildly inconsistent this year, like the Browns, but possess the potential to beat the Browns if Cleveland is not on top of its game — Indy moreso than Houston because of Peyton Manning. If the Browns can split these home games, after a loss at Buffalo, the Browns will sit at 6-6.

Then come two very tough road games: at Tennessee and at Philadelphia. On paper, both look like losses, right? Well, on paper, the Giants, Redskins, and Jaguars games all looked like losses too. Yet, the Browns went 2-1 and very easily could have won the Redskins game as well. (Oh yeah, except that Kellen Winslow played in that game.) I don’t know which one of these games the Browns will take, but I bet they win one of them. If so, they will be 7-7 heading back home to play Cincinnati. I’m sure the Bengals will beat someone this year, but I don’t think it will be a road game. That makes the Browns 8-7 going into the final week at Pittsburgh, where a win gives them my preseason prediction of 9-7 and likely locks up a playoff spot regardless of if they win the AFC North division or not. There is much more parity in the AFC this year as opposed to last year, where even 10-6 did not qualify for the playoffs.

So, looking at the Browns schedule reasonably, they could easily be 8-7 heading into the Pittsburgh game. If they can steal a win at Buffalo, or sweep the Houston-Indy homestand, 9-6 is not outside the realm of possibility.

Before we move forward with a look at the potential meaning of the Pittsburgh game, let’s analyze the Steelers schedule and see where they might be standing on December 28th.

Nov 3rd at Washington (6-2)
Nov 9th v Indianapolis (3-3)
Nov. 16th v San Diego (3-5)
Nov. 20th v Cincinnati (0-7)
Nov. 30th at New England (5-2)
Dec. 7th v Dallas (5-3)
Dec. 14th at Baltimore (4-3)
Dec. 21st at Tennessee (6-0)
Dec. 28th v Cleveland (3-4)

Now that is a tough schedule. Just look at the road games: Washington, New England, Baltimore, and Tennessee. Each of those is a very losable game for the Steelers, especially if they cannot do a better job of protecting Ben Roethlisberger, and if they continue to get away from the running game like they did today against the Giants. The Steelers are a solid team though, so I say they pull out one of them. Obviously they will beat Cincinnati at home, so that would leave the Steelers at 7-5.

It is hard to pick against the Steelers winning home games, but they play three pretty dangerous teams in Pittsburgh with San Diego, Indianapolis, and Dallas all coming to town. The Chargers may even be the most dangerous, despite their current 3-5 record, as they are now facing must-win games nearly every week and obviously have talent. Indianapolis is in the same boat. Dallas got a slight bit of breathing room with their win today, and they should be back on track with Tony Romo playing by the time they come into Pittsburgh, but they are in the NFC East and play for Jerry Jones so every week is must-win.

Would you really be shocked if the Steelers went 1-2 in these three games? Such a performance would put the Steelers at 8-7 heading into the December 28th game with the Browns. Now look, it is probably more than likely that the Steelers will go 2-2 in their slate of tough road games and that they’ll win two out of the three tough home games. That puts them at 9-6 or 10-5 heading into December 28th. But the point is that it is not a complete stretch to say that the Browns and Steelers could enter the last week of the season at 8-7, playing for the AFC North crown. And that is a far cry from where we were before the Giants game when the Browns were wallowing at 1-3 and wondering if there was any hope for 2008.

And besides, who knows — if the Browns decide to deactivate Kellen Winslow for the rest of the season, who is to say they aren’t 11-4 heading into the final week of the season? The Giants proved last year that removing a primadonna, me-first tight end who went to “The U.” can propel an otherwise talented team to a huge winning streak. No one has proven yet that they can beat the Browns without Kellen Winslow, and two of the NFL’s top teams have tried (Giants, Jags). The Cleveland Browns, buoyed by the momentum of their Jacksonville win, may just be ready to get on a roll and be the team we all thought we’d see before the season started. (Of course, Kellen Winslow or not, this has no chance of happening if Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards don’t start clicking on a game-in, game-out basis.)

Don’t get too comfortable at the top Pittsburgh. Between the Browns and Steelers, one team has the momentum right now, and the more favorable schedule — and it’s not Pittsburgh. Will a two game lead and a tie-breaker be enough for the Steelers to maintain their lead in the AFC North? The odds probably say so. But the odds also would have predicted the Browns playing worse without Kellen Winslow, not better. And this is the NFL, where odds seem to mean nothing in an “Any Given Sunday” kind of league.

The Browns may not be anywhere near the favorite for the AFC North after 8 weeks of football, but they certainly aren’t out of the race. And legitimate hope is not something that seemed possible just three weeks ago.

[tags]cleveland browns, pittsburgh steelers, afc north, nfl, football[/tags]

First, no AFC North team has clearly run away with the division. Yes, the Ravens can play defense, they always could. But how many games can the Ravens win scoring less that 20 points per game? The Steelers appear to be a mess offensively with Big Ben Roethlisberger dealing with injuries, along with Rashard Mendenhall out for the year and Willie Parker no where near 100 percent. Their backfield is now featuring Mewelde Moore and Najeh Davenport, which if they were any good, Pittsburgh would not have drafted a running back in the first round, right? That leads us to the Bungles, or Bengals, which ever you prefer. They again have no defense, and offensively, they have turned to former-Texas-standout-now-running-back-bust Cedric Benson. This compiled with an injured Carson Palmer gives me hope as a Browns fan.

This unfortunately does not help us with the fact that we traded our entire draft this year to improve our defense, which statistically has not happened yet. More depressing than our defense, which has kept us in a few games this year, is our offense, or lack thereof. Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, Donte Stallworth, Jamal Lewis and Derek Anderson, in conjunction with an exceptional offensive line sounds like a Pro Bowl match made in heaven right? Not yet. This group cannot punch it into the end zone, or has not consistently yet this year, and is killing our defense with our onslaught of three and outs. Our play calling is conservative at best, which is not allowing our play makers to make plays. We have talent but we are playing not to lose. The Browns offense was so successful last year because of their aggressive play calling. They were not afraid to take chances which led to countless big plays. We must take the handcuffs off of Derek Anderson, and if he can’t get the job done, Brady Quinn has looked fantastic in preseason and has more than earned a shot at the starting quarterback job if Derek Anderson continues to struggle.

The Cleveland Browns are far from out of winning the AFC North division, but week 6 is as close to a must win as you can have at this point of the season to keep winning the division a reality. I do not see a wild card being an option out of the AFC north this year, meaning the Browns must stay in the hunt for the AFC North division title.

[tags]cleveland browns, afc north, pittsburgh steelers, baltimore ravens, cincinnati bengals, NFL, football[/tags]

That was terrible. It was pathetic. It was ugly. As I type this I am watching Derek Jeter speak to the crowd after the final game at Yankee Stadium. Jason Giambi is standing one person to Jeter’s left, so he and his sellingly (that’s my word for a mustache if you didn’t know…a combination of Selleck and Mattingly, who sported two of the greatest mustaches ever) are on full display. Why do I mention this? Because it’s the only thing I’ve seen today that’s uglier than the Browns’ performance this afternoon at Baltimore.

I’m still trying to figure out what happened. We led 10-7 at the half, and it felt like we were somewhat in control of the game. We were running relatively well, Derek Anderson seemed to be throwing the ball better, and the offensive coaches remembered that Jerome Harrison is on the team and got him a screen pass that he promptly turned into a touchdown. Plus, the defense had forced two turnovers and seemed primed to make it a difficult day on rookie QB Joe Flacco.

Then the second half started. And…well to be honest I don’t want to talk about. I’d prefer to not have nightmares when I got to bed after writing this.

I’d much prefer to look forward. What can the Browns do to turn this season around and get back to some semblance of respectability?

If you said nothing, I suppose I can offer no rational contradiction except that we were only 1-2 last year and coming off a loss to Oakland when we played Cincinnati and turned the season around. Obviously we are 0-3 this year, and looking even worse than we did last year…but I refuse to give up on the season after 3 games. Call me crazy or an irrational optimist (you might be right)…but there is still a path towards respectability and success.

1 – We have to have better quarterback play. Say what you want about the defense, about the injuries, about the poor coaching decisions that have been rampant this year. If Derek Anderson throws a TD at the end of the first half against Pittsburgh and nothing else changes in that game, we win. Today, if he doesn’t throw 3 picks and instead can manage the game and engineer a couple of scoring drives in the second half, we have a good chance to making today’s game competitive. In a close game, I’d like to think a guy with 20 career starts could find a way to beat a guy making his second start.

But those things didn’t happen. And Derek Anderson didn’t just throw 3 picks, they were BAD interceptions. One went back for a TD that pretty much ended the game. So what’s the problem?

To me, it starts with Derek’s confidence. It looks like he has none. He is missing Joe Jurevicius, his security blanket on 3rd down. He is missing another experience WR like Donte Stallworth who could provide a deep threat and take pressure off of Braylon and Kellen. And he is missing the consistent protection he had last year, when he was sacked only 14 times. But most importantly, he is missing the rhythm and confidence that he had airing the ball out last year and producing big play after big play. Teams are defending the Browns as they should be and not giving us the deep stuff. The problem is that Derek is not having success throwing underneath, and it is leading to streaks of incompletions that wear on everyone’s confidence, and game-changing interceptions that make it very hard for the Browns to have a chance to win.

Next week we play Cincinnati, who Derek torched in one game and played awful against in another. If it were up to me, I would start Derek next week and see if he can recapture the magic and confidence he had in the first meeting with Cincy last year. Give him a few sets of downs, see if he can get in a rhythm, and see where we’re at after one quarter. If the offense resembles what we’ve seen over the first three weeks, we have no choice but to pull D.A. and see what Brady Quinn can do. If teams are going to play zone and for us to throw shorter passes over the middle, we need to go with the QB who is more efficient at doing this. [tag]Brady Quinn[/tag] is better in this area than Derek is, and perhaps he can spark us. I would not start Brady right off, because Derek deserves one more shot to get it right and it allows Brady to be a potential mid-game spark. If Brady starts and struggles, what the hell do we do then??? Let the Bengals prepare for Derek, and if he can’t get it done change the momentum with Brady and do it on the road where there is less pressure than in front of the home fans. At this point, what other choice would we have?

2 – Jerome Harrison has to get the ball more. He is electric every time he touches it. I’m not talking 15-20 carries here, but a few rushes, a few swing/screen passes as a pace changer. Look at what Felix Jones is doing for Dallas. Jerome Harrison may not be that talented, but he can provide a similar style change to the power of Jamal Lewis. Terry Pluto from Cleveland.com made a great point in his post-game article. As a senior at Washington State, this guy led the Pac-10 in rushing. He may be small, but he has proven that he can be productive. And has anyone else provided even close to a spark on offense this year besides him? Granted, part of his success has probably come from the surprise factor since he is not used often. But a savvy coaching staff can find a way to maximize his abilities and potential and work his skills into the offense. If the coaches do not make this adjustment against Cincinnati and get him at least 5-10 touches I will become convinced that they are either foolishly stubborn or simply not watching the same game I am.

3 – Kellen Winslow needs to have an “I’m a soldier outburt.” For fun, let’s watch it again:

Sorry, but that never gets old. Now look, obviously an outburst like that to the media means nothing. But I hope in the locker room Kellen or someone got angry and reminded the team that it’s “all about these Browns.” Was it just me, or did this team have no fire today? Baltimore got riled up and emotional and absolutely smacked us in the mouth and the most disappointing thing of all was that it didn’t seem like we smacked back. Cincinnati has nowhere near the potential that Baltimore does to get riled up and become almost unbeatable at home. Maybe the Browns had no chance to win today once the momentum turned in Baltimore’s favor. But where was the fight? Romeo Crennel’s strength is not serving as the emotional barometer for a winning football team…but the problem is that he served as our emotional barometer today. I said it last week and I’ll say it again: we need someone like Kellen to get fired up and lead this team. We are 0-3, we’re struggling, and our season is hanging in the balance. We do not have a fiery coach, and we do not have a confident quarterback. Where will the leadership come from? If this question isn’t answered, and answered well, this season could quickly spiral out of control

4 – We need some breaks. We need some big plays. We need Joshua Cribbs to bust a long return. We need Carson Palmer to trip over his center, drop the ball, and have Shaun Rogers pick it up and rumble 60 yards for a touchdown and flop into the endzone. EVERYTHING has gone against the Browns this season. Any turnaround to the 2008 season will have to be 99% as a function of the team doing a complete 180 in terms of the competence of its play. But with our schedule, it is not unreasonable to hope for a few fluky plays, a lucky bounce, an off-day from an opponent, to help provide a push back up in the standings. Is it kind of pathetic to list this as something that needs to happen for the Browns to turn things around? Sure. But we’re 0-3 and facing a touch matchup every week in a league where the line between wins and losses can be so small. If a playoff berth or competing for an AFC North title is in this team’s future, we may just need some serendipity along the way.

And remember: Pittsburgh and Baltimore have to face the same tough schedule. So if the Browns can beat a few teams they aren’t supposed to beat, and can win their remaining games against their rivals in the AFC North, there could still be hope for this season. Any hope is quickly fading with performances like today, and I can’t say I would bet any of my money on the turnaround I’ve described above because there has been little through 12 quarters this season to make me believe it is imminent.

But…we have 13 games to go, and I’ll be watching them all, so forgive me if I am slightly irrational while I desperately cling to home for the 2008 Season of Great Expectations that is quickly slipping away from the Cleveland Browns.

[tags]cleveland browns, nfl, derek anderson, baltimore ravens[/tags]

Some thoughts after watching the Cleveland Browns lose to the Pittsburgh Steelers tonight 10-6.

1)    Ben Roethlisberger is really tough, and really good.  He played tonight with a separated shoulder and the Browns (especially Shaun Rogers) knocked him pretty good a few times.  Obviously his stats were not overwhelming, as the game was played in pretty strong winds and occasional rain, but he made big plays when he needed to.  Ben Roethlisberger did what it took to win, and that is the first line of the job description of any quarterback.  Obviously, I must eat a little bit of crow for the article I wrote a few weeks back claiming (tongue-in-check…I swear!) that Derek Anderson is the best QB in the AFC, but at least after today we know one thing: Carson Palmer is definitely third!

2)    The Browns offense just is not clicking yet.  Derek Anderson looked very hesitant in the first half, and was guiding the ball more than he was throwing it.  He looked much better in the second half, but we could not finish drives.  We needed to get into the endzone and all of our drives stalled before we could even get into the redzone.  I think Derek Anderson will get better as the offense gets their timing back.  Remember, very few of the starters played together after the preseason debacle against the Giants.  Derek had a concussion, Braylon got hurt, Jurevicius and Stallworth were out, etc.  The Browns had a rhythm, timing, and swagger going on offense last year.  I think they can get it back, and it needs to happen quickly.

3)    Braylon Edwards must be better.  I still believe that he is the key to the Browns season.  He dropped a few passes in the first half, and a few times he did not seem to be running very crisp routes. He needed to get inside of Polamalu on the one slant, for instance.  We need Braylon making big plays to open up the middle of the field for Kellen Winslow and ease the box for Jamal Lewis.  This is especially imperative without another receiver who threatens the defense.  (Synrick Steptoe has a great name, but no one is rolling coverages to his side of the field.)

4)    The decision making of Derek Anderson and the offensive coaches left me scratching my head tonight.  Why didn’t we throw the ball to Kellen when we got close to the endzone at the end of the first half?  Kellen Winslow came to play tonight, and despite his one drop he made a number of outstanding catches.  In hindsight, that was the biggest play of the game and Derek threw into a crowd to…Syndrick Steptoe.  Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are the money players in this offense.  The ball needed to go in their direction.  Apparently, Kellen was screaming as the team went into the locker room at halftime.  I don’t blame him.  I was too.

5)    Why not give the ball to Jerome Harrison more?  He had the most exciting play of the ball game when he took a short pass for 30 yards in the second half, making a number of Steelers defenders miss.  He is a great change of pace for Jamal Lewis, and I think we could have gotten him the ball in space more tonight.  Jamal has never had success against Pittsburgh, and while he ran hard tonight, he was not able to get past the initial surge.  I think Jerome Harrison could have made a few plays and kept the defense off balance a little more.  Hopefully he will get more touches in the coming weeks.

6)    Shaun Rogers is a beast.  He was very disruptive tonight and showed the Browns gave so much to get him.  When he is wreaking havoc, he makes our linebackers and secondary much more effective.  The defense did some good things tonight, but…

7)    We need to make big, game-changing plays when they occur.  It seems like every NFL game that is competitive (as tonight’s was) comes down to 3-4 plays that can swing the game.  The long pass that went through Brandon McDonald’s hands and into Santonio Holmes’ for a big gain was one.  The kickoff that bounced around and went out of bounds that Jerome Harrison could not come up with was another.  And of course, we could not stop Pittsburgh from getting first downs on their final drive.  If one of those plays is made, the Browns may win tonight’s game.  Someone on the defense has to step up and be a play-maker in key situations.  I think that guy is Brandon McDonald, but he misses his opportunity tonight.

All in all, tonight’s game was very disappointing, but there were some positives.  Yes, we are 0-2 and have lost two straight home games.  And no, the schedule does not ease up with two division games on the road coming up.  Luckily, they are against a Baltimore team with a rookie QB and a Cincinnati team that looks like a mess.  If we can steal two victories on the road, it will make these first two losses a little more palatable.  And there are reasons to think that things will get better.  The offense will get its timing down, Joshua Cribbs will get healthier (he absolutely did not have the same burst or cutting ability tonight coming back from his ankle injury) and the defense showed signs of shoring itself up somewhat.

This season began with great promise, and no one wanted to be sitting at 0-2.  But we have played two really good teams and have not had all of our bullets loaded in the gun.  There is a part of me that is hoping Kellen Winslow goes off after the game, either privately or to the media, and that it shakes the team up a bit.  The Browns need to get their swagger back and go into Baltimore next week knowing that they are the more talented and experienced team.  Hopefully the offense can step up and break out against a solid D and gain the confidence we will need to compete with the solid teams we play week after week during the balance of our very tough schedule.

I am not backing off of my prediction for 9-7 and a playoff spot, but obviously if Pittsburgh keeps on winning that may not win the division.  However, San Diego is 0-2, Jacksonville is 0-2, New England has an inexperienced QB, Tenneessee is starting Kerry Collins, Indianapolis looks vulnerable…so the AFC is wide open.

If the Browns get it turned around, and quick, there is still hope that the great expectations of 2008 can be realized for the Cleveland Browns.

For those of you who read the Chicago White Sox – Chicago Cubs Tale of the Tape, you know that I am capable of nothing less than absolute objectivity. Well, with football season on the horizon, I have decided to extend my aptitude for objective analysis to a burning and pertinent NFL question: Who is the best quarterback in the AFC North?

To answer this question, let’s begin by first removing all Baltimore quarterbacks from the equation. Whoever starts for Baltimore, be it Troy Smith, or Joe Delaware, or Kyle Boller, or Brian Billick…it doesn’t matter. When one of the backups in your division (Brady Quinn) is clearly better than any of your starters, you do not get to enjoy being part of a debate like this.

So as we set out to decide who the best QB is in the AFC North, we have three candidates: Carson Palmer, Ben Roethlisberger, and Derek Anderson. Who is the best?

Touchdowns thrown in 2007:

Carson Palmer threw 26, Ben Roethlisberger threw 32, and Derek Anderson threw 29. Advantage Roethlisberger right? Not so fast.

Remember, Derek Anderson did not start the first game of the season. He lost a coin toss to Charlie Frye. However, in his first start against Cincinnati he threw 5 TDs. Thus, if he was destined to throw 5 TDs in his first start, which he clearly was, then he would have accumulated 33 for the season (he threw one in Week 1 anyway despite not starting). I am, of course, assuming that he still would have thrown 5 against Cincinnati in Week 2. He would have. Their defense blows, and he threw 4 against them in Week 16.

Advantage: Derek Anderson

Interceptions thrown in 2007:

Derek Anderson threw 19, Carson Palmer threw 20, and Ben Roethlisberger threw 11. Once again, you might think that the statistics are clearly in Big Ben’s favor. And yet, again, you would be wrong. 11 Ints? That tells me that Roethlisberger is not taking enough chances down field. If you never push your chips to the middle of the table, how can you ever win a big pot?

Derek Anderson is more than willing to air it out and keep his main man Braylon Edwards happy. We all know that success in the NFL revolves around keeping your #1 WR happy. Don’t believe me? Answer this for me: Who had the best records in the NFL last year? New England, Dallas, and Indianapolis. Who were the most productive and happiest WRs in the league? Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, and Reggie Wayne.

Who do you think was happier – Braylon Edwards or Santonio Holmes? If you said Santonio Holmes then you probably also think that Bill Cowher’s sweater when he retired was cool.

This year, the combo of Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards will join the aforementioned trio as one of the four elite QB-WR tandems in the NFL. This kind of connection is a must in today’s air-it-out NFL and will lead the Browns to the AFC North title and a playoff berth. If Derek Anderson has to throw a few picks in an effort to take some chances and keep Braylon happy, so be it. His 40 TDs this year will more than compensate.

And at least he didn’t throw 20 picks last year, which is the official threshold where you’re throwing too many and you suck. Sorry Carson Palmer.

Advantage: Derek Anderson

But enough about individual stats. Playing quarterback is about winning games.

Who won more games last year?

Carson Palmer won 7, while Derek Anderson and Roethlisberger officially tied for 10. However, we already established that Derek Anderson would have thrown for 5 TDs had he started the opening week’s game. That would mean Cleveland would score at least 35 points. Pittsburgh scored 34 points in week 1. Hence, had Derek Anderson not lost that ludicrous coin flip, Cleveland would have won 35-34 at a minimum. This would have given Derek Anderson 11 wins and a playoff berth and an AFC Title. Advantage: Derek Anderson

Who is cooler?

Let’s get Carson Palmer out of the way right off the bat. The picture below is an actual advertisement that he agreed to do.

Definitely not cool, and he has to have lost the respect of his teammates for this.

Now let’s move onto Ben Roethlisberger. First off, he screwed his team over by riding a motorcycle without a helmet, clearly violating his contract. (No Cleveland Brown player would ever do that!) And here is an actual photo of Ben right before he took off on his unfortunate motorcycle misadventure. Not cool. What about

Derek Anderson? He threw for 29 (actually 33) TDs in his first year as a starter. You have to be cool to do that. He is good friends with a Playboy Playmate, Sara Jean Underwood. Very cool. And people get him confused with a silky-smooth former NBA swingman. This is much better than being confused with Carson Daly or a menu item at Fuddruckers. (FYI…if you haven’t had the RoethlisBurger yet, you really should try it. It’s just two buns with no meat, plus a little bit of ketchup if you so desire.)

Advantage: Derek Anderson

Who would get beaten up by their backup quarterback?

Again, let’s get Carson Daly out of the way right off the bat. Are you noticing a theme here? Carson Palmer is clearly the 3rd best QB in the AFC North. Anyway, I once again remind you of the above picture. He’s probably already been beaten up by the backup quarterback and all of the other criminals on the Bengals. Could that be the explanation for the broken nose?

Big Ben’s new backup is Byron Leftwich, who is 6-5, 250 lbs. Ben Roethlisberger is 6-5, 241. So he’s only giving up 9 lbs. However, Ben Roethlisberger is white. Byron Leftwich is not. All else being equal, I’m taking the brother if there is a rumble.

 

What about Derek Anderson? Well, let’s take a quick look at his backup quarterback:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah…umm…perfectly sculpted biceps or not, unless it’s a tickle fight Derek Anderson is kicking Brady Quinn’s ass hands down.

Time to tally up the categories: Derek Anderson – 5, Ben Roethlisberger – 0, Carson Palmer – 0. We have a winner!

Based on the inarguable logic and pictorial evidence presented in this post, Derek Anderson is clearly and objectively the best quarterback in the AFC North. If you feel that you have a worthwhile contradiction, by all means present it in the comments.

Otherwise, enjoy watching the Browns’ ascent to the top of the AFC North this season. We all know that quarterback play determines the majority of the games in the NFL, and the Browns obviously have the best signal-caller in the division.

[Full Disclosure: If it was not readily apparent, the author of this piece possesses a general and irrational hatred for Ben Roethlisberger because he is the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and because Ryan Russell has first hand knowledge that Big Ben is a Big Tool (perhaps he’ll enlighten us in the comments?).

Also, read this line from Ben Roethlisberger’s old Miami (Ohio) player page:

“broke the school single-game passing record vs. Akron throwing for 399 yards, including a 70-yard "Hail Mary" to Eddie Tillitz to win the game as time expired.”

Let’s just say that a member of the author’s immediate family was prominently involved in Akron football at that time, so listening to the radio broadcast of the Hail Mary was devastating. Damn you Ben Roethlisberger. Damn you.]