Ferrell, who is in the Big Easy shooting a movie with Zach Galifianakis about “political rivals who are seeking the same congressional seat” (must see), got especially clever with the visiting Bulls’ lineup, introducing Joakim Noah as “a Scorpio and a terrible dancer” and announcing that Luol Deng “collects rare birds and has a pet dolphin named Chachi.”

Watch the entire thing from CSN Chicago:

The Bulls ended up winning 90-67.

Will Ferrell doing the intros at last night's Hornets-Bulls game. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

And speaking of getting worked up…

I had no idea that professional bowling was so rife with outbursts such as these:

TAKE THAT YOU BOTTLE BITCH!

Via Bob’s Blitz, here is the complete context for Jason Belmonte’s outburst.

I’ve decided I’m going to start using this as trash talk in ironic circumstances.

Let’s say I roll up next to a Honda Civic in my Toyota Corolla Sport (that’s right, I’ve got the sport package with spoiler and racing stripe) at a traffic light. As soon as it turns green, I’m flooring it, leaving the Civic in my dust, and yelling TAKE THAT YOU BOTTLE BITCH! It won’t make any sense, and they probably won’t hear me or even care, but I’ll know. And I’ll smile inside.

But I digress.

Pete Weber’s sunglasses are pretty spectacular.

I guess such outbursts by professional bowlers make sense. Every time I bowl it’s in a crowded lane with noise everywhere and intermittent blacklighting occurring. It’s easy to focus when the noise is coming from everywhere. But when it’s quiet, the softest noise or light flash can impact concentration, like flashes during a golfer’s back swing, or co-workers walking past your office door talking and waving their hands when you’re trying to blog.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this video. I’ve got nothing else today.

John Wall’s reaction is the best part of the whole sequence.

Thankfully, Super Bowl Sunday is the perfect combination of all three.

And what fun is it to just sit around and drink casually on your own terms? Why not have a little fun with it?

So to make things a bit more interesting, because let’s face it no one outside of the northeast corner of America actually wants to watch this year’s Big Game, here is the official MSF Super Bowl XLVI Drinking Game.

The rules are simple: anytime something in the list below happens, take a drink according to the category it is under. Feel free to add your own rules as well.

One Drink

• Anytime Peyton Manning is mentioned
• Anytime Archie Manning is mentioned
• Anytime a beer commercial is played
• Anytime a player is shown crying
• Anytime Super Bowl XLII is mentioned
• Anytime Rob Gronkowski’s ankle is mentioned
• Every time you lose a bet (because it’s not a Super Bowl if you don’t have a few bets on the line)
• Successful Extra Point
• Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin are shown and you’re first thought is, “That man looks constipated.” (Then stop taking drinks after this occurs three times, otherwise you’ll die.)
• Anytime Eli is caught making the “Eli Manning Face”

Two Drinks

• Anytime Cooper Manning is mentioned
• Anytime a baby appears in a commercial
• Anytime Gisele is on screen
• Anytime a player complains to the ref about a call
• Anytime Tiquan Underwood is mentioned
• Any pass over 30 yards
• Any run over 20 yards
• Anytime this infamous Tom Brady quote from Super Bowl 42 is shown:

Three Drinks

• Anytime Archie Manning is on screen
• Anytime David Tyree is mentioned/shown on screen
• Field Goal
• Onside kick
• Interception
• Fumble Recovery
• Victor Cruz salsa dances
• Anytime you hear Joe Buck’s voice

Yes, the game is on NBC, but Super Bowl 42 was on FOX...so it might happen during highlights.

Four Drinks

• Safety
• Touchdown
• Anytime Peyton Manning appears on screen
• Player waves to the camera and says “Hi Mom”
• Anytime Madonna does a hip thrust during her act
• Blocked Punt/Kick
• Either team attempts 2 point conversion
• Vince Wilfork salsa dances
• Jim Irsay provides backup instrumentation for Kelly Clarkson’s national anthem
• The Tom Brady Combine picture is shown.

Finish Your Drink

• Fat man interception (take an extra shot if he scores)
• Anytime a quarterback gets sacked
• Chad Ochocinco catches a pass
• Missed Field Goal
• Fake Punt/FG
• Tom Coughlin or Bill Belichick smile
• Jim Irsay provides backup instrumentation for Madonn’a halftime show
• Tom Brady does this dance after a big play
• Anytime Tim Tebow is mentioned

Shotgun a 12 pack

• Chad Ochocinco scores a TD

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Now it’s your turn.

What rules would you add? Comment below. If there are enough new rules added we’ll re-post before our Super Bowl 46 live blog on Sunday.

I found the act and react photos rather humorous, as I often do with pictures involving Gasol.

And this got me to thinking…

Few athletes have as many unintentionally hilarious pictures of themselves floating around the Internet as Gasol does. He’s a great player, one of the best big men of his era (side note: I was pissed that he’s not available for Friday’s DraftStreet freeroll tournament — join here, it’s free, $200 in cash prizes on the line), but the guy is just goofy looking and his more exuberant moments feature some very funny facial expressions.

He’s like the Spanish Chris Bosh.

So here are my favorite unintentionally hilarious Pau Gasol pictures, presented in no particular order…except the last one.

This picture is from our friends at The Sports Hernia, which they titled thusly: “Pau Gasol to miss Game 3 after maddening eruption in anal cavity.”

Sounds about right.

As for this next picture, via Yahoo Sports, I literally laughed out loud when I came across this one in Google Images. I believe the proper Interwebs descriptions for this is, When you see it…

And how can you not love this picture? I miss Yao.

And if Pau thought he could wear a shirt like this at any time in his life and not have it live in Internet infamy, well he was wrong.

Same goes for turtlenecks. Sorry Pau, but turtleneck pictures will always come back to haunt you.

Which reminds me of a certain picture of myself from back in the day in which I’m wearing a Dan Marino jersey over a white turtleneck and garish Zubaz pants. Thank goodness that is only hanging on the wall in my parents’ house and not floating around the web. For now…

And though we’re having a few chuckles at Pau’s expense in this post, he should know that it’s done with the utmost respect and admiration for his game and on-court passion. Remember, he is a champion a couple of times over.

Not sure much commentary is needed for the rest of these, and we’ll kick it off with a four-pic montage of Screaming Pau. As they say on 1310 The Ticket…Pau Pau! Pau Pau!

And last but certainly least, my all time favorite picture of Pau Gasol. I will neither confirm nor deny that this picture was Photoshopped. I find it far more entertaining to pretend it was not.

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Did I miss any? Let me know below.

Belichick is known for being a defensive wizard. He earned such a reputation as Bill Parcells’ defensive coordinator, cemented it by stopping the “Greatest Show on Turf” for his first Super Bowl win, and has maintained it despite the Patriots becoming much more offensively oriented over the last several seasons.

The only true black mark on Belichick’s resume is his tenure in Cleveland. Belichick went 36-44 and made just one playoff appearance. However, to anyone who says his tenure in Cleveland was a waste of time, I present the following video as evidence to the contrary.

Ladies and gents, here is the secret to making a BBPBJ, the Bill Belichick’s Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich. (How divine!)

Hat tip: The Fifth Down

So what is the secret to the BBPBJ? is it the raisin bread? The chunky peanut butter? Nope. It is, of course, Belichick’s outside the box strategy of putting peanut butter on both sides of the bread. This prevents the jelly from seeping through the bread. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.

And in case you wondering what Bill Belichick does once the BBPBJ is made, well what do you think?

After a decade of 10-win seasons and playoff appearances, Indy went 2-14 this season without Peyton Manning under center. Now Bill Polian is gone, Jim Caldwell is gone, Rob Lowe is causing Twitter firestorms with suggestions that Manning is retiring…and it all has Peyton feeling a bit out of sorts, as he described to Bob Kravitz of the Indianapolis Star.

In addition to determining Manning’s playing status for next season, the other big decision the Colts must make is who their head coach will be. Former Ohio State coach Jim Tressel’s name has been bandied about, but as our Chris Callaway wondered last week, why not Manning as player/coach? As absurd as the idea sounds (and is), is it any more absurd than Manning attempting to operate under the ultra-conservative direction of Tressel?

These thoughts, and a few choice photos of lovably eccentric Colts owner Jim Irsay, coalesced into our latest photo story.

If for some reason the image below does not load, click here to view in a new window.

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If you enjoyed this photo story, be sure to check out our other photo stories that have featured Peyton Manning and/or Jim Irsay. There are a number of them. There’s just something about those hilariously photogenic, high-profile Colts that always seems to make them a compelling topic.

• “Desperate Measures” – Peyton Manning’s Frantic Quest To Save The Colts’ Season
• “Sucks For Luck” starring Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck, and musical guest Jim Irsay

Puppy Bowl Basic Info

• 2012 Puppy Bowl Date: Sunday, February 5th, 2012
• 2012 Puppy Bowl Time: 3:00 ET
• 2012 Puppy Bowl TV: Animal Planet
• Puppy Bowl Official Website: http://animal.discovery.com/tv/puppy-bowl/

Puppy Bowl Preview

This year’s Puppy Bowl, like all previous Puppy Bowls, is more than just a friendly game between puppies. It’s about the coming together feeling that staring at puppies for more than two hours gives to the American public.

Here at MSF we want to promote those feelings anytime we can, giving you, the reader, a chance to better yourselves.

3 Things To Look Forward To Seeing

1. Puppy Cam

This year’s Puppy Bowl has a lot of new and exciting features, including my personal favorite: the Puppy Cam.

For the first time ever, viewers will get to see exactly what the puppy players see, immersing the viewer into the action even more and giving a more personal touch to the Puppy Bowl that was missing from previous Puppy Bowls. It’s a step in the right direction for the Puppy Bowl and one that could totally revolutionize the game.

2. Hamster Pilots

The hamster pilots are back and are poised to give us the best aerial coverage of the game, making sure we don’t miss any of the action while looking cute and harmless.

3. Cheerleaders

Chicken and rooster cheerleaders will be on the sidelines cheering for our puppy friends as they battle it out in Animal Planet Stadium.

I love the change of now having chickens and roosters being the cheerleaders because it adds a layer to the game, giving the viewer plenty of action while not being to distracting. I don’t know how big of an impact the chickens and roosters will have on the game, but it sure will be fun to find out.

3 Potential Puppy Bowl MVPs

Though all the puppies are winners in my book, there are some players that stood out to me and have my vote for potential MVP of Puppy Bowl 2012.

1. Abilene

Abilene is my first pick to win the MVP award this season. Her expertise in scuba diving tells me she’s the best athlete in this competition and has the desire and determination to master a skill.

I expect her to leave everything on the field this year. She never give up even when the going gets tough and she starts feeling fatigued.

2. Calvin

Calvin likes to repair old cars in his spare time, and though that doesn’t make for the most athletic player, it sure does make for the most patient of all the players.

Putting a car back together is like coming up with a plan on how to dismantle the opponents. He knows exactly what goes where, and his strategic background could be the difference maker in this game.

3. Hunter

Hunter plans on going into politics, which tells me he’s a great manipulator, liar, and cheater; all things needed to win in this competitive league.

You may not agree with his tactics, but you can’t deny the results that may come because of the them. He’s sure to be the dirty player in this year’s Puppy Bowl.

Puppy Bowl 2012 Prediction

I am predicting a closely fought game this year.

I think puppies like Abilene and Hunter are going to have a very fast start, but whether or not they can sustain that high level of play throughout the whole match without becoming distracted by the will to sniff everyones’  butts will be the deciding factor in this year’s Puppy Bowl.

As good as his won/loss numbers may look, Flacco’s stats suggest to many that the Ravens win in spite of him more than they win because of him, with defense and a strong running game keying this decade of success in Baltimore. And save for a few big performances in big games (the two Pittsburgh games this year, his statistically terrific start against Kansas City in last year’s playoffs), Flacco has mostly underwhelmed in his most watched moments. This clearly bothers Flacco, as his comments this week prove.

Among these now-notorious comments was this gem: “I’m sure if we win [the Super Bowl] I’ll have nothing to do with why we won, according to you guys.”

For our latest photo story I decided to analyze Joe Flacco’s pervasive feelings of disrespect, as well as what effect the sharp drop in completion percentage Flacco has experienced this year (the lowest of his career) may secretly have had on his teammates and coaches, whose undying support of Flacco has always seemed just a too too effusive, without Flacco really earning it.

Of course, I’m not in the locker room, so what do I know?

Update: I published this a day before these comments by Ed Reed caused a bit of a firestorm. Perhaps this photo story was more accurate than I thought…

If the image below doesn’t load for some reason, click here to view in a new window.

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But there is one aspect of living in Dallas that absolutely tops the Midwest by leaps and bounds: I get to listen to The Ticket, aka America’s Favorite Radio Station, every day on the way to work and on the way home. I never knew what I was missing before I moved down here, and now that I know, I’ll be a loyal listener wherever I live even if I don’t particularly care about the teams they discuss most.

The reason for this Ticket loyalty despite the apparent disconnect in topic interest is because the station is just so funny (and because, admittedly, they spend a lot less time talking about Dallas sports than you might think). They have a number of clever bits, including impersonations of high profile sports personalities, that are consistently terrific.

Few of these impersonations are as good as Fake Nolan Ryan, and they are made even better when put into the proper context…which is that the real Nolan Ryan and the outlandish caricature of Nolan Ryan that often gets portrayed (both on The Ticket and elsewhere) are not all that dissimilar.

This morning while I drove in to work, The Musers played one of the most well-known and beloved pieces of audio in the station’s history. I’ve heard it a few times before, but I’ve never posted about it. Since it’s a slow sports day, that oversight ends right now.

I agree with Junior Miller, one of The Musers, that the audio clip below – in which the real Nolan Ryan recounts his work to help control the snow monkey population in Texas – is the single funniest moment I’ve ever heard on this station, or any radio station for that matter.

It’s less than five minutes, and it is well worth your time. I promise.

Remember: this is really Nolan Ryan, and this is a true story.

As you can imagine, the Nolan Ryan-snow monkeys bit surfaces regularly in the Fake Nolan Ryan segments. When I first heard these regular bits during baseball season, I’d never heard the original snow monkey story and didn’t understand the context. I didn’t even realize snow monkeys were real; I thought it was just something they made up for the bit. Now that I’ve heard it a few times, it make the Fake Nolan bits that much better.

Even if you couldn’t care less about the Texas Rangers, they have earned a high enough profile over the last two years – and Ryan has always had a high profile – that the jokes won’t be “too inside” for you to get. Here are a number of the Fake Nolan bits from the last several years, which you should definitely either listen to or download for later. They’re hilarious.

• Snow Monkeys Follow Fake Nolan to Surprise, AZ
• Ranger Promotion Talk (including “Whore Night” and “Snow Monkey Night”)
• Fake Nolan Talks About the Rangers’ Woes

Click here to view all of the Fake Nolan segments The Unticket has up.

Wait…what?

That’s right, you heard me. Makeout sessions. Just look at these pictures and tell me these bros aren’t about to lock lips right there on the gridiron.

First, here are Tommy Brady and Timmy Tebow:

Image credit: Barry Gutierrez/AP via People.com

In this picture, Tebow appears ready to play the role of Gisele, gazing into Tom Terrific’s eyes before planting a wet smackeroo right smack dab on those dreamy lips. He’s even using the age-old technique of grabbing the outside shoulder to guide Brady towards him. This is the technique of a grizzled makeout veteran, not a close-to-holy virgin, so to see Tebow execute it so deftly is both surprising and impressive. He’s a natural, this one.

What’s funny is that even if you didn’t interpret this picture at all like that, the once-unseen-cannot-be-unseen principal applies. Now you can’t look at the picture without seeing it as an impending lip lock, can you?

To prove it, try looking at this picture of Alex Smith and Drew Brees after their epic 4th quarter rendezvous in Candlestick.

Image credit: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP  via GreenwichTime.com

Smith goes with a different technique than Tebow, choosing instead to control the action with the arm-around-waist strategy. But from his subtle lean back, it’s clear that he wants Brees to make the first move, just like Brees did in the final five minutes of the 4th quarter on Saturday before the game’s fantastic final few minutes.

Another great example of the Postgame QB Kiss phenomenon came in December of 2010 when Eli Manning and Aaron Rodgers met up. (Unfortunately, none of yesterday’s pics of the two really qualified; I guess Aaron just wasn’t in the mood.)

Image credit: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images North America via Zimbio.com

In this picture, Rodgers has clearly accepted the submissive female role. In this sense, Rodgers’ makeout-initiation strategy seems not all that unlike how he and the Packers played yesterday. You can see ARodg placing his right hand gently below Eli’s chest while gazing towards Eli’s awkwardly formed mouth. Eli, with his devil-may-care hairstyle is clearly enamored with Rodgers’ 8:00 shadow, even more than Rodgers’ ability “flight” and “spin” the ball.

As for the fourth game from yesterday, that there was actual QB play in that game is only a rumor, so I didn’t waste time searching for pictures of Fu Manchu Flacco nor T.J. Yates. But you don’t have to dig too deeply into the Google Image Search results to find other such pictures. Just search two high profile QBs’ names together, and you’re sure to find a postgame picture of them that, because of this ridiculous and unnecessary post, you will now see as the early stages of QB tonsil hockey.

Let’s try it. How about…Brees and Peyton Manning?

Yep:

Image source: Gridiron Experts

Brees and divisional rival Matt Ryan?

Image credit: AP via PennLive.com

Okay, so Drew Brees likes kissing other quarterbacks. We get it.

Let’s go the non-Brees Legends Division. How about Jay Cutler and…Brett Favre?

Yep.

Image source: PigskinReport.com

As for the brothers, they seem a bit less likely to gaze longingly into eachothers’ eyes, at least from the 90 seconds of research I just did; rather, they go right in for the bro hug like Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick here:

Image credit: Tim Shaffer/Reuters via Eurweb.com

And it’s not just limited to quarterbacks either. Coaches tend to have the same midfield meetings after games, and most are not like Jim Harbaugh and Jim Scwhartz.

In fact, from time to time we get movie-style dramatic pre-kisses like this one featuring Bill Parcells and his former apprentice Bill Belichick.

Image source: The Sports Blog

Another great example of coaches getting into the act may have occurred this weekend. Showing that he has learned from the Schwartz fiasco, Jim Harbaugh seemed quite gracious in victory with the Saints’ Sean Payton. Watch the video and decide just how gracious.

There are plenty more pictures and videos showing similar postgame closeness between opponents. I’ll let you enjoy the search for them. I think I’ve made my point and now forever ruined your ability to see these ubiquitous postgame photos as they are actually meant to be seen, which is of course as simple friend gestures of sportsmanship.

So…my work here (which probably never should have started) is done.

All that is left to do is let Turk and J.D. take us out with a song that lets all of these kissing combatants know it’s all okay. It’s just guy love…between two guys.

After gaining possession, he tosses the ball several feet out in front of him as you’ve seen goalies do countless times. But this time – as you don’t often see - Mallorca’s Gonzalo Castro (wearing red), who was taking his time to get back downfield, sneaks up behind the keeper and kicks it in the net for a nice, easy goal.

Watch the video below. There is no other way to describe the play besides “epic goaltender fail.”

The video is 7:15 long. Not every impression is perfect, but 95% of them are worth listening to, so watch the whole thing. It’s remarkably impressive.

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Update: Thanks to Twitter, this post caught the attention of Gatorade president Sarah Robb O’Hagan (@SarahRobbOh). She enjoyed our rundown of the funniest Gatorade baths ever, and she also sent me the wall mural from Gatorade’s headquarters with some of their favorite Gatorade baths of all-time. It’s very cool. You’ll see it at the end of the post.

The Gatorade bath is a tradition like few others in sports.

After most monumental wins in football – specifically Super Bowls, national championship games, especially important and/or meaningful bowl games, or season-ending victories over hated rivals – such a celebration can be expected. The tradition began with the New York Giants in the mid-1980s and continues into today with no signs of slowing down.

While the sentimental among us enjoy the Gatorade bath because it symbolizes the triumph of a team of men on the field of athletic battle and the ultimate moment of shared jubilation and respect between coach and player, I enjoy Gatorade baths for a far different reason.

Pictures and videos of them can be laugh-lout-loud hilarious.

So here is my personal ode to the Gatorade bath, with the 28 funniest Gatorade baths of all-time, presented in no particular order other than saving the best ones for last.

Bob Stoops

Image source: AP Photo/LM Otero via Boston.com

Urban Meyer

Image source: SBNation

Nick Saban

Zombie Ken Whisenhunt

Image source: Revenge of the Birds

Kirk Ferentz

Image credit: AP Photo/Lynne Sladky via Boston.com

Jim Tressel

Image credit: Photo by Harry How/Getty Images via The Part Time Jock

Image source: Eleven Warriors

Gary Patterson

Joe Gibbs

Image source: Here

Tony Dungy

Image source: Stock Lemon Blog

Bill Parcells

Image credit: Peter Read Miller/SI via Hot Clicks

Greg Schiano

Image source: Today’s ACC Headlines

Image credit: Dill/AP via NY Daily News

Steve Spurrier

Image source: Eric Campos via GoGamecocks.com

Dave Doeren

Image credit: Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE via Chicago Tribune

Some Confused Ohio Bobcats

Mike McCarthy

Image source: Here

Cito Gaston

Image source: The National Post

Bill Curry

Image source: MTV.com

Rick Stockstill

Image credit: Chris Graythen/Getty Images via Boston.com

Frank Beamer

Image credit: Phil Coale/AP via Statesman.com

Image source: Boston.com

Eric Mangini

Les Miles

Image source: Here

Image credit: A. Messerschmidt/Getty Images via MTV.com

Image source: SECTalk.com

And I saved the best image last…

Marty Schottenheimer…like a boss

But no Gatorade shower can or will ever be quite as funny as the one in this video, all things considered.

Guy Morriss

Update: Actually, I was mistaken. I’m not quite sure how I forgot about one of my favorite Gatorade bath pictures of all time, but I did. Thankfully, loyal Tweeters like @jimkanicki are here to remind me of the error of my ways. For goodness sakes, this pic is the background of Spencer Hall’s Twitter page!

Here is the great Howard Schnellenberger (the man who laid the foundation at The U, for those too young to remember) being doused by his team at Florida Atlantic.

Random thought: I suppose I should change the number in the title to 29 considering that there are technically now 29 images and videos with the addition of the Schellenberger picture, but since one of the pics is an elephant peeing on Les Miles, we won’t count that as a Gatorade bath.

Update: And here is the picture of the mural at Gatorade HQ sent to me by Sarah Robb O’Hagan:

But now to the more important issue.

With some players, the question of what hat to wear in the Hall is a big one. It’s not with Larkin. He played his entire 19-year career with the Cincinnati Reds. However, based on new evidence uncovered today by Reddit (here), I think the Hall of Fame should eschew a baseball cap for Larkin and instead induct him with a full body bronze statue complete with the sublime turtleneck-sweater-overall outfit he is pictured in below.

Image source: Imgur via Reddit

Pretty spectacular right? Also spectacular is that at first glance it looks like the lifetime Red is wearing a Cubs sweatshirt. Sorry to disappoint you Cubs fans, but he’s not. As this Reddit commenter pointed out, it’s a sweatshirt commemorating the 1990 All Star Game that was played at Wrigley.

It’s just a terrific ensemble. Based on the relaxed clothing of Joe White Guy standing next to Larkin, it doesn’t appear to be overly chilly where they are, yet Larkin is three layers deep in quintessential early 90s garb, including and especially the single unstrapped overall.

In conclusion, there may be worthy debate over Barry Larkin’s Baseball Hall of Fame credentials, but just based on this picture alone Larkin is a first ballot 1990s Hall of Famer. Congratulations Barry. Welcome to the club.

(Now excuse me while I go search for an old picture of myself in Jubaz pants to post…)