I have to be honest; I passed out during last week’s Monday Night Football Drinking Game.
Some of it was surely related to general fatigue from a long work week, but the massive amount of drinking that occurred during the Texans-Jets battle was certainly a big factor as well.
I’ll do my best to recap the carnage before looking ahead to tonight’s game between Peyton Manning’s Broncos and Philip Rivers’ Chargers.
Week 5 Recap
I didn’t have time to re-watch the entire MNF football game from last week, but I know that we were well over 100 drinks for the whole game. That equates to a minimum of a 12-pack of beer, maybe more.
For the first time, I made a game that bordered on lunacy!
The keys to last week’s game were: plays over 15 yards; Tim Tebow being shown on screen; Schaub completions to white guys; Arian Foster carries of more than 5 yards; and Santonio Holmes mentions. As you can see, there were a lot of drinks to be had.
This week I will try to make a game that is a little more balanced. Not that I don’t condone getting absolutely annihilated on a Monday night, but even I start to feel the pangs of responsibility when we exceed the century mark in drinks for a three-hour game.
As always, here are the steps to prep:
To prepare, you’ll need to do the following things:
Find a fun environment to watch the games.
A house with a great TV setup and ample seating for guests is ideal, but a local bar with a fun atmosphere will work too (just remember to have a designated driver).
Secure plenty of beverages of your choice.
I always opt for really trashy beers of the sort you’ll see advertised during the game, but feel free to get creative. Just make sure that you have enough. You don’t want to have to make a drink run during a crucial part of the game.
Stock up on snacks.
You can also have guests bring along snacks to help make a diverse spread. As the drinks flow, you and your guests are sure to need to balance things out with some quality food.
Invite people who want to have fun.
This is the most important part. If you don’t have good company to share the evening with, what fun is a drinking game?
Make the necessary arrangements with work.
If you intend to get really wild on Monday night, it is wise to not let it interfere with your job. For the truly committed NFL partiers, see if you can arrive a little later. You don’t want to be miserable for an entire work day just because some of my absurd drinking game rules came through.
Have plenty of headache medicine, water or Gatorade, and energy drinks available for the morning.
This is standard protocol for hangover defense.
Again, respect your limitations.
It is great to get wild and party hard, but make sure you don’t overdo it. I can’t stress this enough.
[Disclaimer: The suggestions and drinking game in this post are meant to be fun and liven up your football viewing experience. It is extremely important, however, that you drink responsibly. Know your personal limits, don't drive after drinking, and of course, only imbibe if you are of legal drinking age. Take care of yourselves and enjoy.]
With that out of the way, let’s move on to the Week 6 drinking game rules!
Monday Night Football Drinking Game: Broncos vs. Chargers
Take one drink each time one of the following things happen:
- Philip Rivers argues with a teammate, opposing player, or referee.
- Either team records a sack.
- Peyton Manning completes a pass to a white guy (Eric Decker counts).
- Any offensive play results in a gain of 20 or more yards.
- Ryan Matthews runs for than 5 yards on a carry.
- Willis McGahee runs for more than 5 yards on a carry.
- A kickoff or punt results in a touchback.
- A turnover is committed.
- John Elway is mentioned.
- A player does the first down arm point after a first down.
- Norv Turner’s job security is discussed.
- Norv Turner’s wrinkly neck in HD makes you or someone near you get sick.
- Either team goes 3 and out on a series.
- A Chargers running back catches a pass.
- A personal foul penalty is committed.
- Gerry Austin, the ex-official, is heard but not seen on screen.
- Peyton Manning is shown with a big red mark on his head from his helmet.
- The word concussion is said by Tirico or Gruden.
After last week’s madness I’m not going to posit a breath-a-lyzer score for this week. I think I’ve put us in great position to get good and drunk and still be able to remember the festivities, though.
As a Raiders fan I really can’t stand either team, so I’m gonna need a good performance from the drinking game to get me through the game. Good luck, and be responsible, friends.
Check back next week for the recap of this game and the Lions vs. Bears Week 7 drinking game!