It’s a pretty good time to be a San Francisco sports fan.
The Giants are fresh off a sweep of the Detroit Tigers to claim their second World Series title in the last three years, and the 49ers are one of the most dominant defenses in the NFL, poised to make a deep run in this year’s postseason.
Arizona, losers of three straight after winning their first four games, is just looking to stop the bleeding.
For drinking game purposes, this mismatch could be beneficial.
Before we lay out this week’s rules, let’s look at last week’s game.
Week 7 Recap
Several standby rules yielded drinks, particularly sacks (8), turnovers (4) and plays over 20 yards (6).
Gruden really hooked us up by repeatedly calling Charles Tillman by his nickname “Peanut.” Brandon Pettigrew caught 5 passes, each worth a drink, and Mikel Leshoure ran for more than 4 yards several times. As always, we got to hear a lot about how much of a threat Devin Hester is in the return game.
Sadly, Jay Cutler only bitched at people a little and there weren’t as many touchbacks as usual.
Despite the low scoring of the game, we managed 79 drinks, or about 10 beers, by my count. I expect a little bit better this week.
First, here’s your prep instructions, in case this is your first time playing the MNF Drinking Game. If you’ve been here before, skip ahead to the rules below.
To prepare, you’ll need to do the following things:
Find a fun environment to watch the games.
A house with a great TV setup and ample seating for guests is ideal, but a local bar with a fun atmosphere will work too (just remember to have a designated driver).
Secure plenty of beverages of your choice.
I always opt for really trashy beers of the sort you’ll see advertised during the game, but feel free to get creative. Just make sure that you have enough. You don’t want to have to make a drink run during a crucial part of the game.
Stock up on snacks.
You can also have guests bring along snacks to help make a diverse spread. As the drinks flow, you and your guests are sure to need to balance things out with some quality food.
Invite people who want to have fun.
This is the most important part. If you don’t have good company to share the evening with, what fun is a drinking game?
Make the necessary arrangements with work.
If you intend to get really wild on Monday night, it is wise to not let it interfere with your job. For the truly committed NFL partiers, see if you can arrive a little later. You don’t want to be miserable for an entire work day just because some of my absurd drinking game rules came through.
Have plenty of headache medicine, water or Gatorade, and energy drinks available for the morning.
This is standard protocol for hangover defense.
Again, respect your limitations.
It is great to get wild and party hard, but make sure you don’t overdo it. I can’t stress this enough.
[Disclaimer: The suggestions and drinking game in this post are meant to be fun and liven up your football viewing experience. It is extremely important, however, that you drink responsibly. Know your personal limits, don't drive after drinking, and of course, only imbibe if you are of legal drinking age. Take care of yourselves and enjoy.]
With that out of the way, let’s move on to the Week 7 drinking game rules!
Monday Night Football Drinking Game: 49ers vs. Cardinals
Take one drink each time one of the following things happen:
- A Cardinals receiver besides Larry Fitzgerald catches a pass.
- Frank Gore runs for more than 5 yards on a carry.
- Either team commits a turnover.
- An offensive series ends in a 3 and out.
- Brandon Jacobs receives a touch (rush attempt or catch).
- John Skelton makes a terrible play, i.e. under or overthrowing a receiver, fumbling a snap, making a stupid throw. You be the judge of this, as it’s up to you how drunk you want to get.
- A kickoff or punt results in a touchback.
- Gerry Austin (the ex-ref guy who talks about plays but is never shown) speaks on the broadcast.
- Kendall Hunter records a carry.
- Any offensive play gains 20 or more yards.
- LaRod Stephens-Howling runs for more than 4 yards on a carry.
- Randy Moss catches a pass or moons the crowd.
- Any personal foul penalty is called.
- Either team records a sack.
- Patrick Peterson’s coverage results in an incompletion (up to your interpretation; obviously deflections count here, but if you want to count close coverage that forces an incompletion that works too).
- Any 49er besides Randy Moss (already mentioned), Michael Crabtree, or Vernon Davis catches a pass.
- Jim Harbaugh shakes Ken Whisenhunt’s hand very, very hard.
- Alex Smith runs for a first down.
I think the Cards are in for a long night, but I think there will be plenty of drinks to be had.
As usual, the more offensive success the teams enjoy, the more drinks we enjoy. With defense being both teams’ fortes, we may have to rely on the poor play or John Skelton and a few of our standby rules (sacks, turnovers, 3 and outs) to get us good and drunk.
I expect somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 drinks, or about 10 beers worth of drinking. Make sure you have a designated driver or a couch to crash on.
Check back next week for a recap of this game and the rules to the week 9 game!