MNF Drinking Game Week 7: Detroit Lions at Chicago Bears

After the Jets nearly killed us two weeks ago (and caused me to pass out during the game), Philip Rivers helped our drinking cause last week with a slew of turnovers and temper tantrums.

We turn to the NFC North for our shenanigans this week, with the Lions heading to the Windy City to battle the rival Bears.

Before we talk about the roller coaster ride that is Jay Cutler and the awesomeness that is Megatron, let’s look back at Week 6 and see how we fared in our quest to get drunk while enjoying some football.

Week 6 Recap

Thank you, Philip Rivers.

You managed to argue with the referees, your teammates, and your coaches, each instance yielding a drink apiece for us.

Plus, you absolutely melted down in the second half with a bunch of turnovers and sacks allowed. Even Tony Romo was impressed with your ineptitude.

As drinkers, we salute you.

We owe our drunkenness to you, Philip Rivers. Photo via screencap by

We had plenty of Peyton Manning completions to white guys, and a bunch of runs of 5+ yards by Willis McGahee (and a few by Ryan Matthews).

By far, the most rewarding rule was to drink every time ESPN showed Peyton on the sideline with the big red helmet mark on his forehead. I think I drank two full beers off of this rule alone.

Throw in some Gerry Austin speaking parts, a couple of Elway sightings, and a few miscellaneous drinks from the rest of the game and we finished with a very respectable 88 drinks (the unofficial total for you Twitter followers was 85; I found three more upon rewatching the game).

That is about 11 beers by my count, a solid night by any measure.

Before we get to this week’s rules, here’s your guide to starting your own MNF drinking game.

Getting Started

To prepare, you’ll need to do the following things:

Find a fun environment to watch the games.

A house with a great TV setup and ample seating for guests is ideal, but a local bar with a fun atmosphere will work too (just remember to have a designated driver).

Secure plenty of beverages of your choice.

I always opt for really trashy beers of the sort you’ll see advertised during the game, but feel free to get creative. Just make sure that you have enough. You don’t want to have to make a drink run during a crucial part of the game.

Stock up on snacks.

You can also have guests bring along snacks to help make a diverse spread. As the drinks flow, you and your guests are sure to need to balance things out with some quality food.

Invite people who want to have fun.

This is the most important part. If you don’t have good company to share the evening with, what fun is a drinking game?

Make the necessary arrangements with work.

If you intend to get really wild on Monday night, it is wise to not let it interfere with your job. For the truly committed NFL partiers, see if you can arrive a little later. You don’t want to be miserable for an entire work day just because some of my absurd drinking game rules came through.

Have plenty of headache medicine, water or Gatorade, and energy drinks available for the morning.

This is standard protocol for hangover defense.

Again, respect your limitations.

It is great to get wild and party hard, but make sure you don’t overdo it. I can’t stress this enough.

[Disclaimer: The suggestions and drinking game in this post are meant to be fun and liven up your football viewing experience. It is extremely important, however, that you drink responsibly. Know your personal limits, don’t drive after drinking, and of course, only imbibe if you are of legal drinking age. Take care of yourselves and enjoy.]

With that out of the way, let’s move on to the Week 7 drinking game rules!

Monday Night Football Drinking Game: Lions vs. Chargers

Take one drink each time one of the following things happen:

  • Calvin Johnson is referred to as “Megatron.”
  • Jay Cutler argues with or bitches at a teammate, coach, opponent, or referee.
  • A turnover is committed.
  • Either team records a sack.
  • Any Bears player besides Brandon Marshall catches a pass.
  • Brandon Pettigrew catches a pass.
  • A player points his arm after a first down.

This play would count for 2 drinks in this week’s game. Photo by:

  • Any personal foul penalty is called.
  • Tirico or Gruden mention fantasy football.
  • Gerry Austin (the ex-ref guy who talks about plays but is never shown) speaks on the broadcast.
  • Devin Hester’s return touchdown history is discussed (being called a “threat” or something similar counts).
  • Joique Bell carries the ball.
  • Charles Tillman is referred to as “Peanut.”

Charles Tillman has been stellar this year, so let’s hope his nickname is called Monday night. Photo: AP Photo via

  • Either team goes 3 and out on an offensive series.
  • Any offensive play gains 20 or more yards.
  • Mikel Leshoure runs for more than 4 yards on a carry.
  • Jim Schwartz gets in a fistfight with Lovie Smith.
  • Matt Forte runs for more than 5 yards on a carry.
  • Frank Gore or Larry Fitzgerald are mentioned (pay attention to the promos for next week’s MNF)

The Outcome

I actually expect Jay Cutler to play well in this game, which frightens me in terms of his drink output for us. I took fliers on a lot of occurrences this week, so hopefully they come to fruition.

A few of our standby rules should at least keep our drinking respectable. If we get a little extra help from the likes of Peanut, Megatron and Pettigrew well, even better.

I’m predicting somewhere in the ballpark of 75 drinks, or about 9 beers for me. Make sure you have a designated driver if you’re playing along away from home.

Check back next week for the recap of this game and the 49ers vs. Cardinals Week 8 drinking game!


Follow me on Twitter @keithmullett


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About Keith Mullett

Keith is an Ohio-based sports and pop culture junkie who began writing for MSF in June 2011. His ramblings about sports, music, movies and books can be further enjoyed by following him on Twitter @keithmullett.

In addition to his work for MSF, Keith operates a blog called Commercial Grade, in which he critiques television commercials from the perspective of the average viewer.


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