Young Spurs fan Patrick Gonzalez decided to get into the playoff spirit by having his hair stylist do a portrait on the back of his head of Spurs reserve forward Matt Bonner spotting up for a three-pointer.
It’s beautiful to behold:
But the administrators at Woodlake Middle School in San Antonio aren’t impressed. The school gave Gonzalez one day to bench Hair Matt Bonner, otherwise he will receive in-school suspension.
Gonzalez’s mother says that, before her son paid tribute to Bonner (who is averaging 3.4 points in 14.4 minutes per game this postseason), she asked the school for permission. Woodlake administrators say that Gonzalez told them about her son’s new do but that they never approved it:
“There was no permission that was given if the parent thought that then it was a miscommunication,” said Aubrey Chancellor, Judson I.S.D. District officials say the haircut is a distraction. “Whether it’s the spurs or whether it’s the cowboys anything people obviously support, it doesn’t matter.”
You hear that, Texas schoolchildren? Whether you support spurs or cowboys or even Spurs or Cowboys (two teams that obviously play against each other several times a year for the World Finals of Stanley Bowls), shaving a rather benign image of a fan friendly forward that wears New Balance sneakers during pro basketball games seems like the least offensive infraction we can possibly imagine.
This story raises a few important questions:
- Would Gonzalez still face punishment if he had chosen a more conventional subject, such as Tim Duncan or Tony Parker?
- Who is Gonzalez’s barber, and can he or she shave a picture of Serge Ibaka denying Kobe Bryant?
- Does this school system actually have a hair code? If so, what does it say about the faux-hawk?
- How will all this hullabaloo affect Bonner’s performance in tonight’s Game 2 against the Clippers?