Patrick Kane: International Partier or International Light Weight?

This past weekend, Chicago Blackhawks All Star Patrick Kane went to spend some time at the University of Wisconsin with his pals. However, he didn’t just “spend some time” there, he lived up every single second of it.

Or at least he tried to.

If you haven’t seen or heard about the Deadspin story, it recaps Kane’s black out-drunk experience in Madison. He got kicked out of fraternity parties and bars, started fights with random people, upset many girls, and was all around a huge liability to everyone he was with.

At first, you may think that’s a pretty cool story; Kane partied with some lucky college kids and helped give them one hell of a day. But in my eyes, that is not at all the case.

Currently a student at Indiana University where the party scene in Bloomington is similar to that in Madison, I know exactly how annoying and troublesome he was.

At every party or event, there’s that guy.

There’s a big difference between having a drink or two too many and doing some funny stuff and giving people big problems like Kane was. So yes, Kane was that guy.

 

Photo courtesy Deadspin.com

 

Patrick Kane, you’re 23 years old and can get whatever you want at any hot Chicago club or bar. You should know how to party and handle your liquor.

Frankly, you should’ve known how to do those things for years. But obviously, you’re just another pansy-partier that couldn’t keep up with some Big Ten vets.

Yeah, buddy, we like to have a good time.

You may be able to skate around some of the best of ‘em on the rink, but clearly you can’t put ‘em back like most Hoosiers, Badgers, or even Hawkeyes can.

And on top of all of that, you could’ve at least intended to exhibit some class…but you didn’t even try to do that, as on the back of the shirt you were wearing there was a picture of the limo that you got in a fight in while in Vancouver.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Chicago guy. While I’m not a huge hockey fan, I do support the Blackhawks and appreciate Kane a ton for bringing the city a championship.

But now Kane’s antics have crossed country borders, and while he could be called the “international partier,” I think “international light-weight” is much more fitting.

Patrick, if you ever want to try to compete with the best of the Big Ten, you better learn to drink up, we’re only going to keep getting better.



About Zach Gropper

Zach Gropper is a sports broadcasting major at Indiana University in the beautiful town of Bloomington, IN. He is from Flossmoor, IL, a small Chicago suburb.
Zach was was the sports director for WHFH 88.5 FM Flossmoor his junior year of high school and Television Station Manager of Viking Television during his senior year.
He runs a White Sox blog at GrabSomeBench.com and also contributes and reports for AssemblyCall.com. Last summer, Zach interned for ESPN 1000 AM Chicago, working on programming for the Waddle and Silvy Show.
He is currently eager to get out into the professional world of sports media, wherever that may take him.

Comments

  1. stargazeman says:

    you got the cab and fight and Vancouver part a little wrong…the cab incident was in Buffalo–the limo incident was in Vancouver.  Either way, there always seems to be an “incident” with this guy—I’m about done with him.  The choking of a woman, it just doesnt add up—seems to me to be assault, and now, even a felony in some states.  Keep your hands to yourself blackout boy.  One goal in 13 playoff games…one freaking goal since the Stanley Cup and this fraud gets 6 mil a year.

    • Asdasdads says:

      Well he hasnt been charged with assualt yet, but youre correct, he is the lowest common denominator in all these incidents.  I disagree with one of your points though, and I watched almost every single Hawks game since ’06—he ain’t no fraud.  He basically sets up every goal we have…whether he draws a penalty or dances around the opponents and sets up a teammate…..sure hate to lose him.

  2. Haha this article was the biggest waste of time, are you chirping Kane for being a lightweight or are you trying to prove to the entire midwest that you know how to drink? Try drinking instead of writing about drinking, Kane is a beauty

  3. Zgropper says:

    Just supposed to be a funny piece about a funny story…

  4. PeterArgent says:

    I don’t really care if Kane grows up or not, but he needs to stop looking like Morris Wanchuk http://zombielogicblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/grow-up-patrick-kane.htm

  5. “Big Ten Vets”

    That’s rich. Congratulations on your self-proclaimed drinking title. Now why don’t YOU try and do something with your life.

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