I read new MSF writer Michael Scott’s article detailing the 5 things men should do every day in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
Somewhere between telling your girlfriend she’s pretty and not eating Cheetos I started dozing off.
He said he just had a kid, so I can why he is feeling a little sappy these days. But the list reads like a PSA produced by a group of 45-year old housewives.
Here are some recommendations from The Great Bearded One on how to live a more fulfilling life as a man.
1. Get a cat
Seriously, who has time for a dog?
Cats provide just enough companionship to keep you occupied when you aren’t doing important things like dunking on your office Nerf hoop.
Also, they don’t need your constant undivided attention to live their lives, and you can pretty much leave them home alone for days at a time.
And, let’s face it, dogs are kind of racist.
2. Use a snuggie as a comforter
You probably already have one that you got as a Christmas gift lying around.
Who wants to spend five minutes in Target looking for proper bedding? These sleeved blankets are fully capable of keeping you warm while you sleep on your mattress on the floor.
3. Backhanded compliments provide compound interest
As Michael suggested in his post, you should compliment your significant other every day. Just make sure a few of them are backhanded though.
Gotta keep them on their toes so they don’t let themselves go. It’s girl science.
Pepper in niceties like “You look better than you usually do today” and other comments so they know where they stand at all times.
4. Eat whatever you want
What’s the worst that can happen if you eat Cheetos all the time? They taste amazing and they leave that delicious orange dust on your fingers that you can snack on for the rest of the day.
They may be unhealthy, but I haven’t seen any solid data on that.
Who wants to live to be 70 anyways?
5. Flex and Go
Yeah, that’s right, take a long look at yourself in the mirror and flex every day before you head out. You need to know how good you look before you encounter people who will inevitably understand that when they see you.
Don’t forget to tell yourself out loud how incredible you are either. Just remember not to give yourself any backhanded compliments. You don’t need that in your life.