Just found this on Reddit and enjoyed it. You will too.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?
The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.”
And for shits and giggles I just put “drinking and golf” into a Google image search and the following picture was #1. If I golfed more, I would definitely want one of these magic devices.