This past weekend featured two highly anticipated quarterback matchups – Brady v Tebow and Manning v Rodgers – and a third that unexpectedly ended up being the most thrilling of the weekend – Brees v Smith. And as quarterbacks are wont to do after competing on the field of football battle, these duos all met at midfield after the game for quick makeout sessions in front of the leering press.
That’s right, you heard me. Makeout sessions. Just look at these pictures and tell me these bros aren’t about to lock lips right there on the gridiron.
First, here are Tommy Brady and Timmy Tebow:
Image credit: Barry Gutierrez/AP via People.com
In this picture, Tebow appears ready to play the role of Gisele, gazing into Tom Terrific’s eyes before planting a wet smackeroo right smack dab on those dreamy lips. He’s even using the age-old technique of grabbing the outside shoulder to guide Brady towards him. This is the technique of a grizzled makeout veteran, not a close-to-holy virgin, so to see Tebow execute it so deftly is both surprising and impressive. He’s a natural, this one.
What’s funny is that even if you didn’t interpret this picture at all like that, the once-unseen-cannot-be-unseen principal applies. Now you can’t look at the picture without seeing it as an impending lip lock, can you?
To prove it, try looking at this picture of Alex Smith and Drew Brees after their epic 4th quarter rendezvous in Candlestick.
Image credit: Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP via GreenwichTime.com
Smith goes with a different technique than Tebow, choosing instead to control the action with the arm-around-waist strategy. But from his subtle lean back, it’s clear that he wants Brees to make the first move, just like Brees did in the final five minutes of the 4th quarter on Saturday before the game’s fantastic final few minutes.
Another great example of the Postgame QB Kiss phenomenon came in December of 2010 when Eli Manning and Aaron Rodgers met up. (Unfortunately, none of yesterday’s pics of the two really qualified; I guess Aaron just wasn’t in the mood.)
Image credit: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images North America via Zimbio.com
In this picture, Rodgers has clearly accepted the submissive female role. In this sense, Rodgers’ makeout-initiation strategy seems not all that unlike how he and the Packers played yesterday. You can see ARodg placing his right hand gently below Eli’s chest while gazing towards Eli’s awkwardly formed mouth. Eli, with his devil-may-care hairstyle is clearly enamored with Rodgers’ 8:00 shadow, even more than Rodgers’ ability “flight” and “spin” the ball.
As for the fourth game from yesterday, that there was actual QB play in that game is only a rumor, so I didn’t waste time searching for pictures of Fu Manchu Flacco nor T.J. Yates. But you don’t have to dig too deeply into the Google Image Search results to find other such pictures. Just search two high profile QBs’ names together, and you’re sure to find a postgame picture of them that, because of this ridiculous and unnecessary post, you will now see as the early stages of QB tonsil hockey.
Let’s try it. How about…Brees and Peyton Manning?
Image source: Gridiron Experts
Brees and divisional rival Matt Ryan?
Image credit: AP via PennLive.com
Okay, so Drew Brees likes kissing other quarterbacks. We get it.
Let’s go the non-Brees Legends Division. How about Jay Cutler and…Brett Favre?
Image source: PigskinReport.com
As for the brothers, they seem a bit less likely to gaze longingly into eachothers’ eyes, at least from the 90 seconds of research I just did; rather, they go right in for the bro hug like Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick here:
Image credit: Tim Shaffer/Reuters via Eurweb.com
And it’s not just limited to quarterbacks either. Coaches tend to have the same midfield meetings after games, and most are not like Jim Harbaugh and Jim Scwhartz.
In fact, from time to time we get movie-style dramatic pre-kisses like this one featuring Bill Parcells and his former apprentice Bill Belichick.
Image source: The Sports Blog
Another great example of coaches getting into the act may have occurred this weekend. Showing that he has learned from the Schwartz fiasco, Jim Harbaugh seemed quite gracious in victory with the Saints’ Sean Payton. Watch the video and decide just how gracious.
There are plenty more pictures and videos showing similar postgame closeness between opponents. I’ll let you enjoy the search for them. I think I’ve made my point and now forever ruined your ability to see these ubiquitous postgame photos as they are actually meant to be seen, which is of course as simple friend gestures of sportsmanship.
So…my work here (which probably never should have started) is done.
All that is left to do is let Turk and J.D. take us out with a song that lets all of these kissing combatants know it’s all okay. It’s just guy love…between two guys.