The One Surefire Way To Fix The Pro Bowl

I don’t care about the Pro Bowl. You don’t care about the Pro Bowl.

Now that we’ve established that, let’s talk about the Pro Bowl.

The All-Star game works, to a certain extent, in the NBA, MLB and NHL. What adds to those games is the respective skills competitions that each league has developed and incorporated into the All-Star weekend. The home run derby (minus Chris Berman), the slam-dunk and three-point contest, and the NHL skills competition all add a valuable aspect to the All-Star experience, essentially allowing these professional athletes to show off their freakish athletic ability.

The National Football League has some of the freakiest of the freakish athletes in the entire world. Since the Pro Bowl as it currently stands is essentially a glorified game of two-hand touch, why not abolish it all together and develop a skills competition. It would be incredible to see these  athletes showing exactly what they are capable of doing.

Here’s a few ideas of what the NFL could do with a skills competition:

Kicking

Personally, I want to see how far away Sebastian Janikowski can kick a field goal from. I’d start with a distance contest with him, Mason Crosby, Matt Bryant and some of the other big booters to see if they can connect on 70 yard field goals.

After that, it would be cool to try a HORSE-esque trick contest, hitting off the upright from odd angles and what not. There’s a lot of potential for this one here.

You'd watch SeaBass kick 70-yarders.

Accuracy

Inspired by this video, I would definitely watch an accuracy contest between quarterbacks.

It would be just like the games you play on Madden to earn attribute points, except instead of a gold floating ring you could suspend a tire in the air somehow, so they could emulate Matt Saracen on Friday Night Lights. Except in this contest, the tires would be 50 yards down the field, or they would have to make a throw to the sideline on an out pattern, but the hole would be the size of a dinner plate.

It would be comical to watch Tim Tebow fail at this, right?

Speed

Players running fast. Pretty self explanatory. But you could have a D-Line relay. That would be fun to watch.

Strength

Have the players compete in the world’s strongest man events, like the log flip, the car lift, and carrying a stone shaped like Africa. Heck, you could have players pull the Monday Night Football bus.

Divide it into divisions. Lineman, skill position players, and punters. Which lineman would be the next Magnuss ver Magnusson? You would watch this.

This could be your favorite lineman. Think about it.

Agility

Release two live tigers onto the field and have the best punt returners in the game catch a ball six yards deep in the end zone, wearing nothing but a meat sweater coated in pepper. After all, tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon. Whichever player can return the ball the farthest before getting mauled wins.

Ok. So that last one might not be the best idea, but you see where I’m going with this? There’s definite potential here that needs tapping into. Get on it, Roger.

**********

What other fun skills competitions can you think of involving NFL players? Comment below.



About Chris Callaway

Chris lives and works in La Crosse, Wisconsin, working primarily on-air while doing some writing as well. He is a part-owner of the Green Bay Packers, a Milwaukee Brewers die-hard, learning hockey while supporting the Minnesota Wild, and is also a fan of the Wisconsin Badgers and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Follow him on twitter @ccallaway33.

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