Nick Saban is an amazing college football coach.
Nick Saban is not a nice person.
These two things are givens. There is no reasonable argument to make against either.
And just in case you weren’t convinced about the second one, all you need to do is read this post at Sports by Brooks to be convinced. Here is the gist, as Brooks recounts what Heath Evans told to Jorge Sedano on 790 The Ticket in Miami:
Jeno James, our best offensive lineman at the time, comes in and collapses after practice, uh, vomiting all kinds of stuff that would make a billygoat puke, eyes rolled in the back of his head. Myself, about four other lineman are trying to carry him from the locker room, to the training room.
Obviously it’s a moment of panic, everyone, you know, we don’t know if this guy’s, you know, gonna die, I mean, the whole deal. But he’s so big and sweaty and heavy that we actually have to set him down in the hallway between the locker room and the training room.
Nick Saban literally just starts walking in, steps over Jeno James convulsing, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t try to help, goes upstairs, I don’t know what he does. But then obviously they get Jeno trauma-offed to the hospital.
Saban calls a team meeting about 10:30 that night, comes down and says, ‘You know, the captain of the ship can never show fear or indecision, we’ve always gotta have an answer, and so I had to go upstairs, that’s why I walked over Geno like that, I had to collect my thoughts and decide what’s best for our team.’
That’s Nick Saban for you: he’ll win tons of football games (college anyway) but step over convulsing players in the process.
And this got me thinking…
If he could come in from a 3-hour long practice in the scorching heat of south Florida and step right over a player who is convulsing and puking with his eyes rolled back in his head, what wouldn’t Nick Saban step over?
With just a little bit of Internet sleuthing, I was unable to uncover some other curious step-over decisions made by Saban.
Remember when Alabama wide receiver Tyrone Prothro fractured his tibia and fibula? Mike Shula was the coach then, but Saban was there to step right over Prothro (presumably to show leadership and collect his thoughts).
It seems that Saban has a history of stepping over football players who are suffering from terrible injuries.
Remember when Eric LeGrand of Rutgers was paralyzed? There was Saban, showing not one sign of fear nor indecision.
For the record, I felt a little bad including this one, considering the seriousness of LeGrand’s injury, but it does offer me the opportunity to link to this article about how the inspiring LeGrand is fighting every day to walk again. Every time I see LeGrand on TV, with his positive attitude despite these horrific circumstances, I gain more and more admiration for the kid. So yes, I feel bad including this image here; but if it gets one or a few of you to go read up more on this amazing young man, and if it further sensationalizes how big of a jackass Saban is, then I can live with myself.
Moving on now, how about Little Nick Saban jogging right over a helpless young girl who has crashed on her skateboard?
And then there was that time when Saban stepped over Turd Ferguson while walking alone in a field of Bermuda grass.
Of course, later that day, while still walking in the barren field of grass, Saban came upon an old man who had fallen. Did Saban stop to help the old man? Not a chance.
And in another example of Saban-style leaderhsip, the Nicktator also encountered infamous child molester Jerry Sandusky with the kid from Up.
Did Saban even consider stopping? Hell no.
He continued on, probably to collect his thoughts and decide what the appropriate course of action would be.
Nick Saban is the captain of the ship folks. Why would he stop?
Like that time the Titantic was sinking. Did Captain Saban stop to offer a helping hand? Nope, he just did what he’s always known he could do: walked on water and got the hell out of there.
And the thing with Saban is that not only will he not stop, you can barely even distract him.
Hell, there can be riots going on and an ironic meme-ready hookup happening right in front of him, but Saban will just step right over and walk on by.
Not even history can stop Nick Saban.
When everyone in the White House was sitting on pins and needles waiting for Osama bin Laden to be brought to justice, Saban leapt up, stepped over the President, and crunched Hilary Clinton’s laptop.
Why? He had to go upstairs. Or something.
Heck, Saban is such a megalomaniacal, football-focused “leader” that he couldn’t even be bothered to help Zack talk Jesse Spano out of taking more uppers.
She may have been “so excited” but Saban wasn’t about to show even the slightest hint of fear or indecision. What would Slater have thought?
Oh, and then there was that one time when Saban stepped over Drew Brees and his injured shoulder…
I guess he didn’t take enough time to collect his thoughts on that one.
For the record, as someone who grew up cheering for the Miami Dolphins, and thus suffered through the insufferable Saban Era in Miami, this was a thoroughly satisfying post to write.