Last week, I created a new photo story that received a very positive response. It was called “Sucks For Luck” and serves to show just how much pressure is being put on Andrew Luck with so many people discussing him as if he’s a no-doubt savior for whatever team sucks bad enough this year to draft him.
For those who click that link and read the photo story, you’ll see that I have Luck insinuate that “bloggers who do Suck for Luck Power Rankings” suck just as much as the ESPN gas bags who discuss his NFL future incessantly despite so much college and NFL football still to be played this season. So even though I’m here for yet another week to rank the worst of the worst in the NFL, all within the context of their positioning for Luck, do know that I’ve at least considered just how ridiculous and even unfair it all is.
But the reality is that the cat is out of the bag, and there is a great likelihood that Luck’s eventual NFL destination will be of huge consequence and shift the balance of power in the NFL for the next decade. So the conversation is worthwhile and relevant.
Or is it?
Is it possible that we’re overrating Luck? (Phil Simms thinks so.)
The Heisman candidate’s subpar Saturday certainly isn’t going to convince any of the non-believers. Luck, who was completing 71% of his passes coming into Saturday’s game against Oregon State, was “just” 20-30 and threw for only 206 yards. Sure, he tossed three touchdowns, but he was also picked off…again.
What the luck dude?
While those are good, close to great, numbers for a mortal, but Andrew Luck is supposed to be the Zeus of college quarterbacks. If Adam Levine has “moves like Jagger” then Luck should have moves like Rodgers…at a minimum. (And the new standard statistic by which we measure Rodgers is TD:Incompletion ratio. He turned in a 4:5 this Sunday. Not bad. Luck’s 3:16 is downright Gabbertesque by comparison.)
I’ll cut Luck some slack though. His Cardinal moved to 9-0 on the season with a 38-13 victory, and his overall numbers on the season look a lot like Rodgers’. So yeah, I guess fans of teams like the Colts, Dolphins, and many others should find some solace in knowing that their suffering in 2011 could prove worthwhile.
With that in mind, let’s dissect the contenders for Andrew Luck, starting with a brand new #1 that is clearly the team to beat in this pathetic race to the bottom.
Suck For Luck Power Rankings: Week 10
1. Indianapolis Colts (0-9)
They’re the only winless team in the NFL; their arrogant, unlikeable, and overrated GM is lashing out at “rats”; their QB seems to be regressing by the week; their pets heads are falling off!
What else is there to say? The Indianapolis Colts are easily the most pathetic team in the NFL this year, and frankly they are one of the most pathetic teams I can remember.
The only person who will come out of this awful season with his respect not only in tact but increased is Peyton Manning. Just…wow.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6)
Yep, I know that there are two teams with worse records than the Jaguars, but I think both of those teams – the Dolphins and the Rams – would beat the Jags if they played next week. So save the consternation.
Here is all you need to know about the Jags’ and their supposed “QB of the future” Blaine Gabbert: they’ve scored more than 14 points only one time this season and Gabbert has gone three straight weeks completing fewer than 50% of his passes and throwing for 109 or fewer yards.
The Jags have a pretty good defense, but their offense is absolutely pathetic, even with the great Maurice Jones-Drew in the backfield.
Yes folks, the AFC South suuuuuuuuuuuucks.
3. Seattle Seahawks (2-6)
Yep, I’m also putting the Seahawks higher on this list than the Rams and Dolphins too. Want to know why? Because the Rams and Dolphins are both better at the QB position than the Seahawks, where Charvaris Jackhurst compete weekly in a battle of “Who sucks more?” Clearly Whitehurst has been far worse, but Jackson’s 0 TD, 3 INT game Sunday against Dallas didn’t really impress anyone.
On the bright side, USC did beat Colorado this week, which should make Pete Carrol happy.
Or not…since he, you know, bolted right before all the S-H hit the fan. Why do I bring this up now? No good reason really. Except that that justice would most certainly not be served if Carrol somehow ended up getting Luck to prolong his NFL coaching career after leaving USC in tatters.
4. St. Louis Rams (1-7)
Here, finally, are the Rams and their -111 point differential. Regular followers of this column know that I expect the Rams to win several games in the second half of the season…but I expected one of those wins to be this weekend against Arizona and its 2nd string QB. (Of course, I didn’t expect St. Louis to beat New Orleans last week, so I guess it all evens out.)
The official Rams Twitter account, however, didn’t seem all that surprised by the team’s crushing overtime loss in Week 9.
This tweet was deftly caught by friend of MSF Matt Sebek; as he pointed out, it was of course deleted soon after being posted.
5. Arizona Cardinals (2-6)
I still think St. Louis is better than Arizona, but the Cardinals have one more win and just beat them straight up; I’d have to consider the actual games on the field completely meaningless to not rank the Cardinals “lower” in these rankings than the Rams. So for this week, the Cardinals are a spot below.
But when John Skelton is your QB, and you’re actually looking forward to Kevin Kolb returning (well…at least some people are looking forward to Kolb returning…probably), you don’t have a very good team.
6. Miami Dolphins (1-7)
The biggest losers/fallers in this week’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings are the Miami Dolphins. They trounced the Chiefs in Week 9, finally getting the win that they’d been so close to in weeks prior.
As you’ll recall, I had Miami at #1 in these rankings last week, with the reasoning being that Miami seemed like a “team of destiny” to keep losing because they kept improbably snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Well now that they’ve popped their 2011 win cherry, and I can see the Dolphins winning several more games this year.
This team has played many good teams close, so no jokes about the Dolphins this week. Though Dolfans are likely disappointed that their chance at Luck seems to be slipping, at least be proud of your team for continuing to fight and play with pride. Indy fans only wish they could say the same.
7. Washington Redskins (3-5)
Washington and Miami play next week, and I fully expect the Dolphins to win. It may not even be close. The Dolphins will be on a confidence high after last week’s win, while the Redskins are feeling about as low as ever with John Beck leading a totally impotent offensive attack.
The absolute best thing that could happen for the Redskins this year would be to finish 3-13 and at least end up with Matt Barkley if they can’t get Andrew Luck.
In closing, here is a picture of Mike Shanahan watching a replay of his offense from Week 9. What replay? Any replay.
8. Cleveland Browns (3-5)
I could talk about how worthless Peyton Hillis has been this season, or how demoralized Colt McCoy looked on the sidelines Sunday, but I have something even better.
Through my myriad sources I stumbled upon secret video of the Browns’ offensive gameplan and strategy. It explains a lot.
9. Denver Broncos (3-5)
Clearly, this is a much, much better team when they have a semblance of a running game. Former first round pick Knowshon Moreno cannot provide that, but the seemingly ancient Willis McGahee can.
Here is my question though: are John Fox and John Elway happy about what happened on Sunday – another Tebow-led victory in which he was actually productive – or are they doing synchronized facepalms today? It’s a serious question. I think we all know the answer.
10. Carolina Panthers and Minnesota Vikings (2-6)
I’ll tell you this much: no one wants to play these two teams in the second half of this season. I list them here only because there are no other teams that they aren’t at least two games behind in the loss column. That said, I bet both could very well beat Tennesseee, any non-Denver team in the AFC West, Chicago, and Dallas (on the right day).
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If you agree or disagree with any of my rankings, if you like Andrew Luck is being overhyped, or if you just think that this is a stupid idea for a post…the comment section awaits any and all opinions below.
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