Update: The complete NFL Week 6 Power Rankings are now posted.
Week 5 is almost in the books, with just the highly anticipated Lions-Bears Monday night matchup left to play. Since neither of those teams will be bad enough this season to even come close to the #1 pick, there is no need to wait on tonight’s result to post the latest edition of the “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.
Just in case you need a reminder of why there is so much fuss over Luck, here is his stat line from this weekend: 26-33, 370 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT leading his 7th ranked Stanford Cardinal in a 48-7 rout over Colorado. What makes Luck remarkable (or perhaps the Legend of Luck so remarkable) is that when I saw that stat line I was disappointed. AN INTERCEPTION? The kid’s slumping.
For the season, Luck now has 11 TD passes against that lone INT. He is completing 71.4% of is passes with a yards per attempt number north of 9.0. Even against an easy schedule, that’s absurd. As are these videos.
Also absurd: the Indianapolis Colts’ complete inability to win without Peyton Manning. I mean, we knew he was integral to their operations, but good gracious. That’s why the Colts remain in the top spot for the Great Luck in this week’s “Suck 4 Luck” Power Rankings.
Suck 4 Luck NFL Power Rankings: Week 6
1. Indianapolis Colts (0-5)
They are the first team to five losses, and they continue to find innovative ways to lose. And as I’ve said every week, the Colts getting the #1 pick would set up the most fascinating decision (assuming Peyton Manning can play next year). It would also give the city of Indianapolis another franchise QB it doesn’t deserve. But until the Colts beat someone, they are the odds-on favorite.
2. Miami Dolphins (0-4)
Despite going yet another weekend with very little offensive production, the Miami Dolphins narrowly avoided losing to BYE. It was a close call though, as is every game Tony Sparano coaches, it seems. Anyway, with Chad Henne out and the reins now turned over Mage Rosenmoore, the Dolphins’ chances of sucking enough for Luck have improved. They just need someone to let the Colts win.
3. Denver Broncos (1-4)
Per Peter King, the Broncos are the worst team in football ever since starting the Josh McDaniels Era 6-0 (yes, that really happened). And this weekend’s developments means that Tim Tebow will most likely be taking over as the starting QB for the rest of the year.
I’ve said all along that Denver was dark horse in this race, with Stanford legend John Elway surely not minding if the Broncos sucked enough to have a chance to take Luck, the current and future Stanford legend. Of course, if the Power of Tebow compels the Broncos to an 11-0 finish and a playoff spot (GO AHEAD…DOUBT HIM!) he won’t get that chance. But if things keep going in Denver as they’ve gone for the last two seasons, they’ll stay right there in this race, with a pivotal game coming soon in Miami.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)
They suck, and Jack Del Rio is as good as gone. Plus, I don’t think Blaine Gabbert is the long-term answer at QB, and whoever takes over as coach next year might not either.Regardless, I’m becoming more and more convinced that they’d take Luck if given the chance.
5. Arizona Cardinals (1-4)
The Cardinals also suck, and they’d be 0-5 if it weren’t for that Week 1 win over the Panthers in Cam Newton’s first career start. They also don’t have a quarterback. I think they had to go get Kevin Kolb if they believed he was a franchise QB, but he’s just not. If they do suck enough to get Luck, Larry Fitzgerald would probably commit a homicide if they didn’t take him. (He can’t really still believe in Kolb, can he?)
6. Philadelphia Eagles (1-4)
Oh Andy Reid, you diabolical genius. Surely the QB guru knew that Michael Vick is not the long-term answer at QB, so he’s purposefully sabotaging his team’s chances to win with inexplicable game management decisions in hopes of having the chance to draft Luck. Right? I mean, isn’t that the only explanation for some of the decisions we’ve seen this year?
7. St. Louis Rams (0-4)
Why are the Rams lower on this list than the Eagles, who beat them, and several other teams who have actually won a game? Because I am still not writing them off yet. I’ll keep saying it: once the schedule eases up and Sam Bradford gets more comfortable in the offense (and maybe, you know, doesn’t get clobbered every time he drops back) the Rams will start winning some games.
8. Minnesota Vikings (1-4)
Congrats Minnesota. You beat Arizona. Whoop-de-goldarn-do. I’d love to rank them higher, but Adrian Peterson alone is going to win this team at least four or five games through sheer will and immense talent alone. Just like he did on Sunday. But McNabb still sucks, so Minnesota needs to let Christian Ponder play so they know what they have in the unlikely event that they suck enough to get Luck.
9. Carolina Panthers (1-4)
Along with St. Louis, Carolina wouldn’t take Luck even if they got the #1 pick. They’d have the luxury of trading it to someone for A LOT of value. But I don’t think they’ll get the chance. Cam Newton is keeping the Panthers close, and they are going to win some games later this year. That kid is good. Very good.
10. Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)
Why do the Chiefs stay on this list as opposed to the Seahawks? Because the only two teams KC has beaten are both on this list. Seattle actually went on the road to New York and got a win with their backup QB. I’d never have thought it possible, so I have to give them some respect. KC? Quit bullying the crappy teams and pick on someone your own size. You made the playoffs last year. This is still embarrassing.
Feel free to vent below in the comments. I’m sure you’ll disagree with one or all of these selections.
Also, check out With Leather’s Suck For Luck Power Rankings, and check back later in the week for our complete NFL Power Rankings.