34 Rules Every Man (and Woman) Should Live By

I’ve had this Living Rules list for over two years now. I think it’s important to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others.

So much in the style of Gibbs from NCIS, I decided to document my personal set of rules in order to better follow them. Unlike the primetime Alpha Male, however, I made it a note on Facebook.

Jerod, everyone’s favorite webmaster, was obviously creeping my Facebook profile to read my plethora of amazing Eric Hinske jokes and came across my note. He felt the list was some good inspirational content.

So here they are, in slightly expanded form.

rules-for-lifeImage source: SethSkim.com

If I were to go any more in depth, I’d likely have a small self help book on my hands, and I really have too much hair to be writing those.

Why 34 Rules? Because The Blue Jays’ Marc Rzepczynski is the ultimate man. No, but seriously, it’s because I just happen to have found these 34 things to be worth keeping as rules.

Remember folks, these rules are designed for myself, but I’d be lying if I didn’t think most of them were a good guideline for how to eliminate stress and work towards your goals, which really is the meaning of life, is it not?

1) “There’s no crying in baseball” is my life.

There is no crying in baseball, thus there is not crying in my life.

All kidding aside, feeling bad about your problems does not fix your problems. Take a cue from Barney Stinson: when you get sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead.

2) Don’t Apologize

People should never have to apologize. Remember, I’m Canadian and saying this.

When you apologize, either you’re apologizing for something you never should have done in the first place or you’re feeling bad (or pretending to feel bad) about something that you really shouldn’t.

If you did something wrong, yes, apologize. But if you really did something awful, some simple words will not make it better. And while it’s “nice” to try and make people feel better, accepting blame for something you did not do is beyond stupid.

3) Be confident no matter what.

Not only is confidence sexy, but confident behavior breeds success.

If you have a job interview, who will the potential employer be more likely hire? The more confident person.

Society has crippled many of us with a belief that humility is the ultimate virtue, but that doesn’t mean you need to be a wuss. Now don’t be a cocky arsehole, but let it be known what you are capable of.

Believe in yourself or no one else ever will.

4) The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person, if you must. There is no third best.

I outright stole the wording from NCIS, but I have long sung the praises of being private about certain things. The best way to avoid gossip is to not allow yourself to be part of it. Be someone people can trust; keep your mouth shut.

Remember, gossips talk about other people because their lives aren’t interesting enough.

5) It’s better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

Live your life according to your own rules. Instead of nervously tip-toeing through life, plow through it like Travis Fryman breaking up a double-play. (Don’t get that reference? Read about Fryman here.)

Be a risk-taker. Don’t be reckless, but unapologetically go for the things you want.

rules-to-live-by6) Always carry a lighter.

See, not all of these are heavy. Lighters are useful. Interesting people sometimes need one. It’s a great way to meet new people. Always be prepared.

7) Obey the Platinum Rule.

“Don’t eat where you poop.” Basically, do not get romantically involved with anybody that you have to deal with on a regular basis, be that a co-worker, classmate, neighbor, batting cage operator etc.

The odds are against it working out, and why add unnecessary stress to your life if that person (or yourself) ends up crazy?

8) If you need space, become totally unreachable.

When you want time off, TAKE TIME OFF! Turn off the email, cell phone, don’t make plans, just be with yourself and your thoughts.

People have a harder time than ever letting go of their electronic crutches. I’m at least old enough to remember when cell phones and email did not exist. People got along just fine. Chances are, many of those things that seem so important at the time aren’t, and someone else can handle it while you take care of yourself.

It’s okay to be selfish for a day. It will make you more open and tolerant of others when you are available.

9) Take responsibility.

There is a common theme here of not being a wuss.

Stop making excuses. If you screw something up, acknowledge it, take ownership of it, and take action to fix it.

People will respect you more. They will also bother you less. If you know you messed up, they will give you space to correct yourself.

This goes back to being confident. Show it even in your failures.

10) Never betray a friend.

There is no excuse for betrayal. It is always possible to advance in life without stepping on other people.

Be someone you can like when you look in the mirror.

11) Always go for it / “It’s Always On”

Tomorrow turns into never.

Don’t wait for ideal situations to do things, because there is never an ideal situation. The universe doesn’t conspire against you, but it also isn’t going to line everything up perfectly either. If you want something, go for it immediately. You will regret the things you didn’t do way more than the things you do.

The second half of this is directed to the dating world. See that stranger you want to talk to? Go do it, and do it now. People are perceptive. She sees you eyeing her, so instead of being the creep, be the smooth person who makes her day. This goes double for women. Don’t be sexist, go talk to that man!

12) Don’t believe everything you’re told. Double check.

Just because you aren’t full of crap, doesn’t mean other people aren’t. People interpret and hear things incorrectly. I’m not saying don’t believe people, but definitely take the time to find things out for yourself too.

13) Don’t date crazy horse girls.

Remember that girl in Grade 5 who LOVED horses? She drew pictures of them in class, pretended to be a horse galloping around at recess, and dreamed of riding her horse everyday. She was weird, wasn’t she?

The point is, never date anyone who can only focus on one thing. Find a well-rounded person who can calibrate their behavior to the given situation. Don’t get stuck with someone who will eventually bore you.

14) Never turn down a gift.

It’s rude. If someone wants to buy you a drink, give you a hug, or drive you somewhere, let them. It doesn’t make you dependent on them, and it will make that person’s day to do something for you. Everyone is happier.

15) Never have a relapse.

Not talking about drug or alcohol addition here, though that is obviously an awful idea too. I’m talking dating again.

If you broke up with someone or they broke up with you it’s because IT DID NOT WORK. Yes, people do change, but once you’ve established an ineffective relationship framework, you will most likely be doomed to repeat it.

Stop being lazy and find someone new or just be happy on your own.

16) Always carry $200 cash. Just in case. (On a road trip or vacation, increase to $1000)

I learned this during the blackout almost a decade ago. Technology fails time to time. Money is useful everywhere, all the time. Cover your ass.

Also, carry your money somewhere other than where you carry your credit and bank cards. If you lose one, you at least have the other accessible source of money.

I’m so getting mugged tonight.

17) Accept things the way they are.

This works in conjunction with not crying. While you have the ability to change parts of your reality, you need to man up and accept what has already happened. If something bad happens, move on and work to ensure it won’t happen again.

Stop stressing over what you can not control, and control whatever you can.

18) When someone doesn’t like you, it’s a gift.

It’s just one less person to worry about.

There are to many great people to worry about the haters. And if they hate, them let em hate and watch the money pile up.

19) Most people are “creative” and “original” in the exact same way all their friends are. Treat accordingly.

Despite our best efforts, we are all products of our environment. We all subconsciously become amalgamations of the people around us.

There are very few truly “original” ideas out there. Everything is derived from something else.

rules-to-live-by20) Always be a wingman for a friend in need.

Help your friends, don’t step on them.

When you help other people, you will feel good.

Be the kind of person you wish others were more like.

21) Keep people in your life if they improve it. If they are a burden, eliminate them.

Notice the links between Rules 15, 17, 18 and this one?

Some people are bad for you. Friendship is largely not a choice. You can not control people who you will have commonalities with.

At the same time, the people in your life should improve your life on balance, as you should improve theirs. Sometimes all that means is they add excitement and fun, but that is enough.

If someone becomes a burden to your life, you don’t need them anymore. It’s okay to fire/break-up with friends when they stop being friends.

22) Don’t seek the approval of others. Validate yourself.

Don’t seek compliments. Don’t do things because you think other people will like you more. Do things that make you happy. Be confident in the person you are and know that if you like yourself, others do too. You don’t need to hear it.

23) Don’t ever mess with Suley’s coffee if you want to live.

Seriously, this is not a joke.

24) Don’t idealize the opposite (or same) sex or relationships. Public Transit Theory.

Public Transit Theory: Attractive people are like the city bus. If you miss one, another will come by in 15 minutes. (Unless it’s the end of the night, then hop on whatever will take you home.)

25) Don’t compare yourself to other people. Live your own life.

I am very competitive. With myself.

I cannot control what anyone else does, nor should I care what anyone else does. If someone beats me out for a job or accolade, and I did my absolute best, there is no shame there; it was beyond my control.

Other people have their own issues that you don’t see, so who cares about them?

26) Leave every situation better off than you found it.

This applies to everything. If you can look back on something that you have influenced, and know that your influence was positive, then you have succeeded.

This rule is a favorite of mine because it encourages you to govern to your own values and beliefs and worry less about society’s skewed value system. If you make your life and the lives of those you touch better, you are absolutely a success.

By that same token, do not do anything that will negatively affect another person. Be a positive.

27) Family is the most important thing in the world and often, it is all you can rely on.

This explains itself. Family should be priority number 1. Chances are you have long been their top priority too.

28) Don’t procrastinate.

Procrastinating adds unnecessary stress and shows weakness.

I was long victimized by procrastination. I’m still not perfect. However, your inability to focus is not something you should accept. You control your behavior, so just get it done. It has to get done anyways.

The reward is you will be stress-free after the task is completed. If it takes 2 hours to do something, do it in your first available 2 hours. Then you won’t have to worry about it like the person who will think about this “daunting task” for weeks and not enjoy any of the time they fooled themselves into thinking was “free”.

It isn’t “free-time” if you can’t escape the shackles of your own stress.

29) If you “need” outside influences (be they people, drugs, activities) to have fun, you are not fun.

Notice the word need.

I’m not saying you should never drink or do drugs; what I’m saying is don’t rely on it for a good time. A buzz can be fun, but if you cannot have a good time sober, you are incapable of have a legitimate good time.

You shouldn’t need the plausible deniability of intoxication to do things you actually want to do. You don’t need a crutch.

rules-to-live-by30) Know that there is a time to play and a time to win.

There are times when you need to rise up and be your absolute best. To buckle down and be a leader.

I firmly believe in living a stress-free existence when possible. That being said, you need to know how and when to rise to the occasion.

31) Don’t have heroes.

When you idolize others, you diminish yourself. Become the person you think all others should want to be.

If someone does not want to trade places with you, you aren’t living life properly.

Instead of wanting to be someone else, be the person people envy.

32) It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.

People will assume you are going to, or coming from, something better.

Don’t settle to just “be yourself”. Be your best self. Look the way you feel. And you should feel like the coolest person in the room.

33) Whenever you mention you are about to mention knowing about a band/TV Show/book before it became cool, remember the person you are talking to is discovering you before you become cool. Idiot.

Don’t be “that guy”. No one likes “that guy”.

You have not done anything special by hearing about something first. You are not actually creating the art in question, so you deserve absolutely no credit. Share cool things with people, but don’t feel like it makes you special.

34) Make a phone call; better yet, talk in person. Texting is for 12-year old girls.

Texting has a use: short, specific instruction or statements that require no response. Stop wasting your time texting every 30 seconds.

Make a phone call, have the conversation, and FINISH the conversation. Improve your social skills and give yourself some actual “free-time”.


*** Have any comments or rules of your own? Your input is welcome below. ***

About Pat Suley


  1. Great list, love the lighter idea, but I think you missed one.
    Never lose your cool in public. Freaking out and yelling doesn't help anyone. It just looks bad and makes things worse.

  2. I disagree with #2. When you apologize sometimes it's putting the persons relationship ahead of your own ego.

  3. I carry my trusty zippo everywhere so i got #6 covered lol
    I agree with most of the other's too, good stuff I will try to follow!

  4. I resent this.

  5. Scott Fitzgerald said the real division between men was not between rich and poor, but between those who enjoy good health, and those who don't. Reading this kind of chest-puffing guff, what's really apparent is the privilege of the writer – this man has never known sickness or poverty, but thinks he's expressing universal truths. You, sir, do not know shit.

    • ManfredRichthofen says:

      Word. A meaningless life made more meaningless as a self help guru. Self improvement is masturbation.

    • not necessarily. those who have been bullied or belittled by others when tell themselves they aren't good enough for anything. If it wasn't for self-help gurus, I would still be a depressed and insecure person. And a person without confidence is accepting failure at every turn and living a life that they can't live to their absolute best. Even if you are poor and sick, you can succeed on confidence alone. Example- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8tz_OzOtsw&fe…. This guy was born with many genetic problems but had the confidence to get a PHD and live a successful life. You sir are wrong, sickness and poverty are just challenges that you have to learn to overcome.

      • HerpyMcDerpderp says:

        "Even if you are poor and sick, you can succeed on confidence alone". So if I was born paralyzed waist-down and blind I should just get over myself? Some people will lead horrible lives and die miserably because that's nature. Just because we are human doesn't mean we are exempt from basic rules.

        • No matter the situation, it is our choice whether we die miserably or happy, we should take joy in the little things. Example Helen keller,. I bet she had joy i n her life, and she had it pretty damn bad

  6. cakestripe says:

    Really cool. But stop saying "man up" – that's weak.

  7. T-Dawg 1792 says:

    WOW so I love the fact that you quoted How I Met Your Mother, and that your Canadian but your kind of a mixture of Robin's Canadian-ness and Barney player/gonna be single forever- ness.

  8. stumbler says:

    I read this as 34 rules to a bigger ego, not 34 rules to improve your life. If you need to get rid of people that have become a burden, you aren't ready for a challenge. How do you know that person won't become a rock for you to lean on during a hard time in the future? If you are so ready to dispose of people then you are the burden that needs to be dropped, fortunately in my life I can just press the stumble button again.

    • Crykit says:

      But learning how to let go of certain people can be a very, very good thing. When a person is doing nothing but bringing destruction and un-needed stress to your life, that is when you need to let go.

  9. jerkface says:

    seems more like how to have an ego.

  10. I'm so glad I read this. I actually read every rule the whole way through. I love your style and philosophy. I even wrote a few things down in my inspiration book. :)

  11. I'm willing to bet that the girl in #13 didn't have any friends because they didn't want to look uncool talking to the girl who loves horses. I bet if the children got over themselves and actually befriended the girl, showing her other cool things and helping her develop her social skills, she would have turned into a well rounded individual who you would deem not-boring.

  12. I was expecting rules like "do not mention * censored*" and "do NOT mention *censored*"

  13. A pocket knife is always something to always carry around, i've carried one since middle school and its probably the most useful I carry on me as a whole.

  14. be organized, nothings worse than waiting around for something you need simply because they misplaced it. (note: you don't have to have a specific order for everything with a color coded itinerary, just keep track of your things, know where you the stuff paid for is so you can actually use it.

  15. eddie leggs says:

    Looks like a casting requirements list for how to be on Jersey Shore. Douche bags unite! You left off, hit the tanning booth as often as possible and talk about sports every time you get a chance

  16. You can have heroes, just not live ones. They must be dead or better yet fictional.

    • HerpyMcHerpherp says:

      Surely isn't comparing yourself to someone who's exploits are made up and imaginary is fucking dumb? After all it's easy to change the world when the world has been designed for you to change and what happens is outside your influence?

  17. xNickD says:

    "34 rules to a Bigger Ego" is only a suiting title if you take these rules verbatim, and to their fullest potential. If you're honestly set on improving yourself based on these rules, you should do it with a personal touch. Ex: If you're really socially withdrawn, then talking to every interesting stranger might not be your goal, but maybe talking to someone you've always wanted to be friends with.

    Imho, these rules are great if you apply them to yourself in a practical way.

  18. Stop telling me how to live my life, internet. Downvoted and site blocked on SU.

  19. sarcasticblogger says:

    Excellent rules! Thank you so much :3

  20. Wisdom says:

    Rule #1. No rules.

  21. who ever wrote these is a cocky ass hole

  22. Daydreamer91 says:

    wow, thank you for taking an hour out of your life and writing this. … srsly im not being sarcastic, it helped me out with a lot of problems. didnt agree with number 13 or the drug thing though… i love my crazy horse girlfriend [she is a part time jockey] and i love doing drugs .. not the crazy kind.. i just stick to salvia weed and dmt.. all natural at least the last two..

    • Johnny Truth-Monger says:

      Last sentence = Appeal to Nature, a fallacy. Cobra venom and ebola virus are also “all-natural”, but you don’t go around guzzling snake venom, do you? Also, heroin is derived from an all-natural source, it’s just purified and has a acetyl group stuck on the main molecule. I wouldn’t recommend acquiring a heroin addiction to anyone regardless of that fact. Don’t get me wrong though, marijuana, salvia and dmt are quite fun and are worth trying once for most people.

  23. Carter Wells says:

    #22 invalidates the reasoning behind #32, #33, and (to an extent) #34.
    #2 disagrees with #9.
    "unapologetically go for the things you want" could easily be used as justification for violating #10.
    This does not appear a cogent attempt at a life philosophy so much as a bunch of pithy sayings, the proclamation of which makes you feel like you lead a morally superior life. I'm with FrankMc on this one.

  24. Colby Fruge' says:

    Well, I love how this guy said that he thinks these rules are a good list of rules to live by. He never told anyone to live by them, yet you have people criticizing them. I personally think this guy has it made. You may not live by these rules and still have it made. I'm no philosopher and I never will be, but I'm not gonna sit here to criticize someone's judgment and interpretation on how to live life. I'm sure as hell not going to sit here and call this man names. You can sit there or wherever you are and find every contradiction there is in his little list, you'll just be the one who wasted time doing so because you don't know how to appreciate someone's work very well.

    • actually…read the title of the article "rules every man (and woman) should live by." That said, it's a decent list, and I'm glad it works for him.

  25. MIssing one key component. "Everything is fine in moderation, including moderation."

  26. Good list. A few readers seem to have taken it the wrong way. It's difficult to undo decades of cultural programming but what he writes is true. That doesn't mean to walk all over other people and be arrogant. What I believe he is trying to get across is that much of what we have been taught as "courtesy" often invites others to disrespect and take advantage of us. It is possible to treat others well without turning yourself into a doormat. Turn the other cheek? Nah. These days you will just get hit again. Respect yourself and then others that deserve your respect.

  27. The man who wrote this article is neither a jersey shore wannabe, nor an egotistical maniac. I have known Pat for over 10 years now and never has he been a jerk to me (well ok, intentionally he was when he punched me in the ass that one time we were walking up the stairs….). Pat's always been there for me through my good days and bad days and as negative as I can be sometimes, he's never 'dropped' me as a friend. Pat's a pretty good judge of character and if you read this article and assumed he was an ego-crazed douchebag, you got it all wrong. Pat is awesome and I'm lucky to call him one of my best friends.

  28. how fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Pat. after all he's been through!

    all you people care about is readers and making money from him! HE'S A HUMAN!

    all you do is write a bunch of crap about him!

    all you people want is more more more more more!

    leave him alone!




  29. I stumbled upon this page and I have to say it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm graduating from college and am going through a bit of an identity crisis. This is exactly what I needed. I'm haning this up somewhere where I can refer back to it every day. Thanks!

  30. anthony says:

    Another rule: In a given situation the hardest thing for you to do is probably the right one.

  31. Good rules. I also love how people are taking this a bit WAY too far……….. he did say that the rules were based for him, didn't he? If you don't like it, just leave.

    • Thomas Payne says:

      Really? Then why is this article called "34 rules Every Man (And Woman) Should Live By" instead of "34 Ridiculous Rules That Only Suit Arrogant A++holes Like Me But I'm Going To Post Them To The Internet"? I'll tell you why. Because he listens to his own retarded advice, is an arrogant a++hole, and wants others to be arrogant too so he doesn't feel so insecure about being an a++hole

  32. Gibbs is a d-bag. I'd smack him right back if he ever whacked me on the head…

    2. One is always right? If one were to accidentally knock someone over on the street, a 'sorry' wouldn't be in order?
    3. Confident or arrogant?
    5. Right, because everyone (especially like-minded folks) always forgive transgressions.
    9. …is great, but make sure not to apologize.
    14. The Trojans might disagree with that point.
    19. Deep…
    21. See #20.
    29. LOL. I suspect the author is transcendental-enough to miracle the fun on in.
    31. Why worship others, when there is oneself?
    34. Or for places where data roaming makes texts cheaper than calls, or when there might not be enough signal for a call, but a text will go through.

    • And how brave to call someone a d-bag when hiding behind a phony little handle. Yesir, that takes all kinds of courage, doesnt it…

    • I use texts at work sometimes to have conversations with people. Talking on the phone can be very loud and obnoxious in an office setting. I agree phone call is better, but sometimes you have to deal with what you are dealt.

    • Eventhough I don't agree with all the comments you made, I totally agree that these rules are BS… Yeah they are great rules, but not together.. They state that you need to "be a risk-taker", not care what everone else thinks, "be to others as you want them to be to you" and at the same time "be the person people envy".. I do not get it, sir!

  33. Don't be republican

  34. Most of them rules are Gibbs's

  35. Oukimuni says:

    Suley, awesome rules bro.
    Tell these males how to be Men again, not pussy pushovers.

  36. I live my life by rule number 5, I was really stuck on this one for a large part of my life and it really slowed me down and caused a lot of unnecessary delays in moving forward… Do First… Ask Later… It changed my life!

  37. familyless says:

    rule 27 = BS.

    More often then not it's family THAT is the cause of problems in ones life.

  38. While I do agree with this list and do appericiate some of its advice, this list requires you to have zero unsecurities. I am unsecure about if I am the person I want to be, if people think I'm equal, and such. These thoughts do not escape me. I am unsecure, so I drink when I go to parties, because it loosens me up and lets me do more stuff than I normally can. Even then I feel somewhat unsecure.
    This is a list I will think of being my "idealistic" self, the person thats awesome and dosent give a shit.

  39. HerpyMcHerpherp says:

    Is that why it's called "34 Rules Every Man (and Woman) Should Live By"?

  40. Here's my problems with your rules.

    1) I was fed that "no crying in Baseball" BS since I was a kid. It may work to suppress emotions in children, but it doesn't work in becoming a better person and understanding yourself more.
    2) Apologizing and saying "I'm sorry" isn't always about who is right and who is wrong. If you've ever been in a serious relationship you would realize that most of the time it says "I value our relationship more than my ego."
    3) Over-Confidence breeds arrogance, something somewhat prevalent in this article.
    5) You must not be married, either that or you don't really care much about anyone else's feelings.
    7) I'm married to a woman that I had 2 classes with my sophomore year in college (where we met) then worked with for a year after (where we started dating) and you know what, she's crazy as hell, but I love her for it.
    13) The crazy horse girl knows what she wants out of life, and what makes her happy. Just because she does what makes her happy doesn't mean she isn't well rounded.

    These are ok rules and if you choose that path then great. However, I prefer a more sensitive and simple approach to life. 3 rules.
    1) Make the best of any situation.
    2) Love everybody, i.e. The Golden Rule.
    3) Revel in simplicity, because many people over-complicate it.

    • 2) "I value our relationship more than my ego."

      I like that. I've come to learn that lesson. Relationships are not about who's right, who did what, who should have done what, or who's the better person. They're about how much love, effort and sacrifice you are willing to put in to keep that person in your life (without devaluing yourself).

      Pick your battles – that's what I tell myself every time I'm on the verge of an argument. Is this battle worth it?

  41. Let me translate for you, because you don't seem to get the point on some of these…

    1) Don't sweat the small stuff. There's no sense in crying about it if crying doesn't solve the problem.
    2) Don't apologize for stuff you didn't do, because all you do is welcome blame that isn't yours. If you run into someone, then apologize, because you did it.
    3) Confidence… not overconfidence. There is a difference.
    5) This rule still applies. It never covers malicious acts.
    7) you're lucky. very lucky. and to the author's credit, he did say the odds are against it, not that it's impossible.
    13) We're not talking about your garden variety fan here. We're talking unhealthy obsessive types. They're out there and they're dangerous. You know… the crazy cat lady types or the collectors.

    • Thomas Payne says:

      what if that lady loves cats? what if she already knows that nothing would make her happier? And there is no rule about when and where you can find love. And I like how it seems that the author wants to put boundaries on everyone that reads this article. thats why there are so many rules. Whereas Matth here only has three simple rules and he doesnt even ask anybody to follow them. he just admits to the world that they are much better, which they are

  42. The don't say your sorry part reminds me of one of Gibbs rules on NCIS :}

  43. Totally awesome. Made me laugh. made me think. definitely on my recommended list of reading.

  44. The real rule 34: If it exists there’s porn of it.

    Get it right newbs.

  45. Not only is this author a complete asshole, he is also a moron. How is it easier to ask for forgiveness if the #2 rule of your life is to.. never ask for forgiveness.

    • wow you are stupid, GNome. this guy is way smarter than you and has his head on straight. how the hell can you think this guy is a moron? you're just asking for it.

      • Thomas Payne says:

        way to not give any backup on your opinion Isidofh…GNome is right. This author is a moron, and so are you. And by the way, what is he asking for? Are you going to punch him through his computer or something? No? Then shut your stupid mouth and let the rest of us live happy lives without you.

  46. I will do pint (12) on this artical also…

    Thx bro.

  47. "He's the typical American"
    he says he Canadian…."People should never have to apologize. Remember, I’m Canadian and saying this.."

  48. Guys, really? This is an obvious opinion piece, and in case you hadn't noticed, everyone in this world has a different opinion. What the author might think is not what you think. This was made for the guy who wrote this, not for everyone to denigrate and criticize. If somebody doesn't agree with you, GET OVER IT.

    • Thomas Payne says:

      but what is so wrong about it is how the Author wants it to be for everyone, not just themself. They have incorrect opinions(which is just mine and most other commentors' opinion) and yet they want everybody to act the way they act. What kind of world would we be in if nobody said sorry and if crying werent okay. crying is already looked down apon and it shouldnt be. it is our natural way of mourning. and everyone is creative and unique. some havent discovered it. this person is telling us to treat people who arent super creative badly just becuz they havent realized their own uniqueness. this person is an idiot.

      • incorrect opinions is an oxymoron. i don't agree with everything the author states, but he does make some good points. you don't need to crucify him for his opinions

    • the author posted and opinion, people posted other opinions in response. what's the difference? if everyone is entitled to their opinion, and entitled to share it, that legitimizes criticism, contrary to popular belief

  49. 9) Take responsibility.
    10) Never betray a friend.
    20) Always be a wingman for a friend in need.
    27) Family is the most important thing in the world and often, it is all you can rely on.

    and yes, he's canadian. Lex, you're a moron

  50. From the page: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person, if you must. There is no third best.

  51. plus, katie obviously wants to sleep with him.

  52. You have forgotten the most important one :
    Don't follow any rules from a random blog on the internet written as if it was some modern commandments.

  53. Loved the list. Thanks for the tips.

  54. I live by some of these, but my favourite of is :

    – Don’t fool yourself.

    This is my one rule to rule them all.
    It is what makes reality real of skewed.
    It governs your life, whether you like it or not.

    It is so easy to fool oneself on so many levels, to varying extents and for various reasons.
    Try to identify when it’s happening, and realise the truth.

  55. Always have a plan "B"

  56. #16. On a road trip or vacation, increase to $1000… cash! THAT'S INSANE!

    • duh. What happens if your car breaks down and the closet place is a shop that doesn't have a card reader? It happens. Not likely but still. Also, cash is more reliable. You have cash you have some money that you KNOW you have. Things happen on road trips and vacations. Keeping an emergency stash of cash is advisable. Being smart about it is also advisable. Keeping it in separate places, things like that. Not keeping it all on your person… or even in separate places on your person. Be intelligent and don't judge.

  57. Rule 35: Don't let internet blogs dictate your life.

    Figure out things for yourself – how can I improve my life?

  58. Sartosis says:

    For those of you bashing this piece, know that it is a darker and more aggressive view of the world. For some, including myself, that is perfect. Light doesn't shine on all of the world, keep that in mind.

  59. #35

    No matter what, do not read this reply!

  60. Squirrel says:

    Texting is useful in the 'Hey there's something you should know, but it isn't incredibly urgent and can wait until you finish with whatever you are doing' situation. Calling is for conversations and for more urgent situations.

    Or as an elementary school metaphor texting is raising your hand and waiting to be called upon, and calling is talking over whoever else is right now.

    That is what I see as the advantage to texting.

  61. Ironman says:

    I loved this one but i have one other attitude that "Do your best, F**k of Rest….." it means Thumbs up for situations, persons ur heart appreciates and Middle finger up for rest

  62. Open Door says:

    I did #8 once, turned off my cell deleted my facebook email everything. When I came into work the next day everyone thought I had killed myself and were about to call the cops. Moral of the story: if your going to do 8, make sure you at least have your house phone on lol

  63. live forever or die trying

  64. Emma Browning says:

    LoL i watch Ncis here in the uk nice touch on the your own rules my number 1 is be your self at all times if people don't like you for who you are then it's their problem not yours

  65. This totally clicked with me. I think you have a great perspective on life dude. Im about to move to college and this is exactly what I needed to read right now.

  66. This is more like the "how to be a douchebag" list. Really? Number one is "Don't cry". Since when is bottling up your emotions and never letting it out going to help you lead a better life? Also, "Always carry a lighter"? What? If you don't smoke, you don't need a lighter. And if you meet someone who needs a lighter, it's probably not a good idea to become friends with someone who requires an open flame is was not prepared to have it.

    • It's not about smoking fool. It's about having the most useful tool Man ever mastered at your disposal at any vital moment. Be it social, or life and death.

      Also: Great list.

    • Dane. You probably live in your mom's attic. Crying is for pussies and lighters set shit on fire. I am successful for my age and I live by these principles. Thumbs down to you dude.

  67. Hmm, I'd like to add "Don't be too confident" to this list.

  68. Poopypants says:

    If someone doesn't like you, it's not a gift; it's an opportunity for critical self-reflection (ie maybe they have a good reason for not liking you).

  69. Happyness is a choice not a goal
    There will allways be something you want or wish to obtain. Happyness is being satisfied with what you have. Accepting how things are is also a big part in this.

  70. great post i love every single one of the rules

  71. The Golden Rules says:

    jes-us people, lighten up! He said these are his rules to live by and they may *gasp* not work for everybody. If you don't like them, stop reading or ignore that (or these) rule(s)! Some of these rules i agree with, but others don't apply to me or my life. So what. The man-up policy I agree with. Examples for the prosecution: skinny jeans on guys, guy liner, men that spend more time in front of a mirror or more money on beauty products than girls. but the point is..these rules work FOR HIM! they may or don't work for you. Maybe by disagreeing with his list you have created an 'opportunity' for yourself (uh-oh…a teaching moment!) to be more tolerant or others and their opinions. Remeber if we hadn't founded this country on that idea we'd all still be english!

  72. Jack Package says:

    Rule 35. Don't freak out about things that obviously aren't worth freaking out about.

  73. i love your 3 simple rules!!

  74. Number 1…there may not be no crying in baseball but crying when you lose a loved one…crying when your puppy dies…crying over a sappy movie…crying is good…it cleanses our souls!!
    Number 2…SAY YOUR SORRY!! It puts your feelings out there and humbles you…people need to hear I"M SORRY if they feel they've been wronged…self centered ego maniacs refuse to say their sorry….don't be one of those!

    You did a good thing for the most part…my son turns 24 today and posted this to his facebook page…he's growing up and it's good to have some guidelines for life!!

  75. Very Inspiring, thanks for sharing

  76. Always being there for a friend is something I consider to be a true rule in life.
    It is a virtue.
    To drop what you are doing to be there for a friend. It is something I have learned to appreciate and value with being on both sides of the fence.

    Thank you for sharing these and allowing us to shed and reflect on our own lives and what is truly important.

  77. Howard Jones says:

    Absolutely fantastic list. Makes me want to print them off and hang them in my office. In fact, I think I will.

    I have a rule that has always done me well; an ex is an ex for a reason.

  78. This is hands down the most retarded set of “rules” I’ve ever come across.

    • this is a great list 'chris' your just mad because there isnt a rule that says 'hi my names chris and im the kewlest.' HAHA gotcha!

    • oh and probably because youve never had a wingman or gotten anywhere with women in your life. and you probably have a lot of heroes.

  79. This is a truly inspiring list. I'm a 20 year old college student and I can really appreciate all of these.

  80. Rosered7033 says:

    "Nothing happens in a vacuum."

  81. This is a very good collection but it is very tough to follow all.

  82. Great list! I like the 10 and 17 rules

  83. Rule 34 should have been the following:
    If it exists, then there is porn of it.

  84. I found this link before any of you guys, therefore I am way cooler than all of you scrubs.

  85. This list is super generic and in no way useful. LAME.

  86. #35
    honesty is overrated, but lying to yourself can lead to serious issues

  87. #36 don’t read lists on the internet

    #37 don’t read the comments

  88. Thank you for sharing these rules. I have just gone through a terrible break up over the holidays and have or been handling it well. I broke all your rules! Time to refocus and get back on track for the new year.

  89. this article screams of heteronormativity.

  90. I can make a valid counter argument about any of theses rules except No. 23 about the coffee lol

  91. Rule 27 conflicts with rule 21

  92. you’re a douche

  93. jimmythehuman says:

    Elephant in the room/website ,so I’ll just say it.

    Rule 34, If it exists ,there is porn of it.

  94. I enjoyed reading the list

    Have a beautiful day everyone

  95. Johnny Truth-Monger says:

    Rule #35 – Regret is a useless emotion. Stifle it and be proactive instead, so whatever resulted in feeling regret doesn’t occur again.

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  1. […] I wasn’t expecting to find something like this on Midwest Sports Fan, but have to say it’s pretty good: 34 Rules Every Man (and Woman) Should Live By. […]

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