When Joe Theismann was in college, he changed the pronunciation of his name from Thees-man to Thighs-man so that it would rhyme with Heisman, as in college football’s most prestigious award. He didn’t win the award, but to this day it is clear that Theismann continues to treat actual last names as mere suggestions when referring to people.
And yesterday, during a taping for the NFL Network, Theismann changed up someone else’s last name, and in the process he uttered the funniest words ever uttered in the history of mankind and all the world.
At least, you’d think so based on Deion Sanders’ reaction.
Here is the video courtesy of YouTube (and with a hat tip to Reddit), because the NFL Network foolishly does not allow people to embed its videos.
HAHAHA! HE SAID GRONKOWSKI!!!
Wait, did I miss the joke?
Oh, right right. It was the line about Danny Woodcock. Please excuse me now while I roll on the floor and scissor my legs in glee.
Actually, my favorite part of the video (blip snipped below) is the very end.
Deion is desperately trying to get back in his chair like he’s climbing onto a capsized ship while Mooch and Theismann are so beside themselves that they have to cool off by pacing around. But not Mike Mayock.
Damnit, Mike Mayock wants to talk football!
He remains in his chair, at one point buries his head in his hands, and tries to force out a smile while the children around him giggle like schoolgirls at the mere mention of the words wood and cock in close proximity to eachother. (LOL! LOL!)
There is only one way to punctuate this post, with the perfect Interwebs representation of the video above: