Ladies and gentlemen, youuuurrrr…Clevehago Indian Sox!

While the Chicago Cubs receive most of my vitriol these days, during the mid-1990s to early-00s there was no franchise in baseball I abhorred more than the Cleveland Indians. There were two reasons for this.

First, the Indians were awesome then. You might recall that from 1995-2001 they never won fewer than 86 games and won the AL Central all but one of the those seasons (finishing 2nd the other). They made to World Series twice (’95, ’97, losing both) and reached the ALCS another time. The dominance of these Indians kept my White Sox from doing anything of significance other than our out-of-nowhere 2000 season.

The second reason I hated the Indians was a man named Frank Dorazio. Frank worked with my dad when I lived in West Lafayette and could actually watch every White Sox game, which is when I really became a die-hard. Unfortunately this coincided with the Indians’ run, and since I saw Frank often I could never escape his wrath. He was (and I assume still is) a big Indians fan and was never bashful about rubbing it in my face that the Indians always had the leg up on the White Sox.

I’m sure that Frank has watched in amusement over the past decade as, one by one, all of those former Indians from the mid-1990s have made their way to Chicago during the latter stages of their careers. The latest example is Manny Ramirez, who is expected to join the White Sox later today.

Because I apparently feel like torturing myself with the White Sox hanging by a thread at 4.5 games out, here is the roster of players I used to hate with every fiber of my being that I later was forced to cheer for once they donned White Sox black.

Sadly, it would make a pretty nice starting lineup, especially during interleague play.

Kenny Lofton – CF


Roberto Alomar – 2B


Manny Ramirez – LF


Albert Belle – RF


Jim Thome – 3B


Sandy Alomar Jr – C


Julio Franco – 1B


Omar Vizquel – SS

Bartolo Colon – P


I suppose we could bring back The Milkman Herbert Perry to play 3rd and bump Thome over to DH in AL parks. See…how White Soxian is this? I’m assembling a team built for the NL first, as opposed to the league the White Sox actually play in. Kind of like how Ken Williams has gone about building this year’s Sox team.

Oh well. The White Sox have Manny now. Nothing was harder than learning to cheer for Jim Thome so I’m sure it won’t be a problem. Let’s just hope Manny can get a little bit of that late-90s feeling back. The White Sox could use down the stretch.

Oh, and by the way Frank, if you have Google Alerts on your name and somehow find your way to this article: laugh and make all the jokes you want. You may have owned an entire half decade, but you never finished the job like the White Sox did in 2005. Damn it feels good to finally have the trump card.

About Jerod Morris

I love words. I write for Copyblogger and founded MSF, The Assembly Call, & Primility. I practice yoga, eat well, & strive for balance. I love life. Namaste. Say hi on Twitter, Facebook, & G+.


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  2. Murray Quirk says:

    A QUIRKY baseball twist on your most enjoyable post Jered (so long I had to multiple thread it!)

    The reverse of a Clevehago Indian Sox (CIS) might be a Chicaland White Indiox (CWI)… a former Sox who went to the Indians. To add to your CIS list with some old timers, there was Larry Doby, Rocky Colavito, Herb Score, Sam Mc Dowell, and Tommy John (though John was a minor league Indian). Maybe the BEST of all was owner Bill Veeck – who helped the Sox win the 1959 pennant after being the last Indian owner to "finish the job" in 1948.

    Some CWI's over the years were John Romano (a rookie catcher with the Sox '59 pennant winners) and well … hmm. Norm Cash? Nah, he never actually played for the Indians though the Sox traded him there. Maybe the Sox did better with former Indians than the other way around – with ONE Quirky exception that should merit a BIG HEAD poster on your pal Frank Durazio's wall. LOL

    Quirky trivia Q: "Statistically, which MLB player was the worst hitter in White Sox history, but the best in the Indians'?"

    He's a player is so quirky they call him "MR. Quirk" (i.e. unusual and unique – if not the 'beyond phenominal' kudo given a top surfers who get called ' A Full-on Quirk!' ). Yes, it's current Astros bullpen and catchers coach Jamie Quirk.

    As a 1984 White Sox player he hit .000 (in three official ABs) to tie for the worst BA in Sox history. All right, he DID
    have a game winning Sacrifice Fly – so maybe he can be added to Sox history as a latter day "Hitless Wonder!"
    And to be fair, 1 RBI per every three plate appearances would be QUITE productive – and probably make him "King of All Hitless White Sox!" if they ever initiate that award.

    As a 1984 Indian he batted 1.000 — and every Cleveland at bat was not only a HOMER, but a game winning homer that garnered national attention! (Think of THAT Tribe when you look for your next manager!) cont'd …

  3. Murray Quirk says:

    Part 3 of the Quirky trilogy of the "World's Greatest Indian!" a soon to be released movie starring Anthony Hopkins ;-)

    Quirk might be the luckiest man in baseball (given how many playoff teams he's been a part of and his longevity despite
    seemingly modest statistics); but he had a knack for coming up big. In 1976 his bases clearing triple at Yankee Stadium won a playoff game for KC and stole home field advantage for the Royals. In 1990 he replaced an injured Mark Mc Gwire at 1b and for most of the year led the A's in hitting (average), besides backing up all-star Terry Steinbach at catcher. He broke up a few potential no-hitters with the first hit more than once in his career. Though he was a back up, he often backed up All-Stars (George Brett, Sal Bando, Darrel Porter, Mark Mc Gwire) and with Tony La Russa's A's of 1990 and 1991 was a bit of a player/coach splitting time between the bullpen and the bench.

    Like a brainy version of Forrest Gump – or Woody Allen's Chameleon character Zelig – Quirk pops into the limelight every once in a while. Noted national journalist George Will in his best selling book on baseball "Bunts!" dedicated a whole chapter to Quirk's character — comparing the catcher's protection of a rookie to Dwight Eisenhower's (blame it on me if it goes wrong) D-day posture — when Quirk took the blame for a ruled "wild pitch" by a that cost the Orioles a key game. Quirk said of the knee-buckling curve in the dirt "I'm a professional catcher, I should have caught it! " One day when a caller asked radio icon Rush Limbaugh to talk about his days as a young, PR guy with the KC Royals, Rush replied that most major leaguers weren't that nice to the help and underlings, then cited Quirk and George Brett as players who treated office workers and maintenance folks with more dignity and respect than most of the players in "the show".

    Well – Quirk is my name too. Jamie's my cousin. As a Sox fan I honked my family's car horn like crazy and woke up half of sleepy Mundeiein in 1959 when the Go Go Sox won the pennant. I was 8! The team we beat that night for the pennant? The Indians! Take THAT Frank Durazio! LOL.


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