An Excruciating Rundown of the Worst Commercials on TV

July 28, 2010 By 84 Comments

I love watching TV, especially sports on TV, but nothing is worse than terrible commercials.

I am talking about commercials that are so bad you want the company to go out of business just so they will stop airing them.

Lately, commercials have seemed to get worse and worse. Someone needs to put these misguided companies in their place.

That’s where I come in.

I am going to look at some of the worst commercials that are on TV now, to highlight the worst of the worst and do my part to shame these companies into not spending millions to air this annoying drivel.

These commercials are in no particular order of crappiness.

Mr. Opportunity from the Honda Commercials

worst-commercials-tv-mr-opportunity

Hi, I'm Mr. Opportunity and I'm creepy.

This creepy cartoon Honda salesman tries to conceives us that opportunity is knocking and we need to buy the newest Honda now.

Or we can wait 3 months for when he shows up again.

Another thing that creeps me out is that he is a cartoon character and he interacts with humans and nobody notices or freaks out about it.

Honda couldn’t get a real actor for the part? Or did all of them realize that they would be called Mr. Opportunity for the rest of their lives if they took the job?

The worst one is his new commercial. (Sorry no video…but you can watch this annoying one). It show him dancing in a night club doing this limp wrist John Wall Dance. Then later he notices he looks like an idiot so he yells out that he is doing the “Knock”.

Let’s just move on.

Miller Light Wedding Gift Registry

In this one, a couple are at a store registering for wedding gifts. The wife is very overexcited picking out gifts, while the man is…not so much. She leaves lets him pick out something more his taste. And what does he see?

A giant pile of Miller Light. So he decides to register every Miller Light 24 pack there.

Then on his wedding day his angry wife realizes that most of the gifts are Miller Light. UH OH!!! Someone is in the doghouse.

I am worried for the safety of the wife in that relationship. Did you see how much beer there was? This man is going to be drunk 24/7. Only bad things can happen in that situation.

Also how much extra money are they going to have to spend to buy all the essential household appliances they need. A Lynn’s Fine China 49-Piece Dinner Set cost $135 dollars. You can’t eat off a Miller Lite cardboard box.

I give the marriage 5 months.

Justin Case’s SafeAuto Commercials

Justin Case is a SafeAuto insurance agent who . . . wait a second! Something sounds unusual about that name Justin Case . . . Just in Case.

Oh I get it, it’s like “just in case something terrible happens on the road” then you have car insurance.

Ha get it? It’s a play on words. Hilarious.

In this commercial Lady Rerun (Who is the daughter of Rerun from What’s Happening) is winner of the 2010 DoTheJingle.com contest.

She starts off talking about how great SafeAuto and Justin Case is. Then she asked if they can dance too. Unfortunately no one here can dance.

Lady Rerun starts off with this unorthodox hand phone, then she switches to a self bear hug. Then Justin Case comes out dressed like Michael Jackson, which is weird because this commercial aired like 5 months after the King of Pedophile’s death, way after people pretended like they cared about him.

Justin dances like a white 5th grader in 1987 trying to show off this MJ moves to impress the 6th grade girls. Lady Rerun is somehow really impressed, so much so that she yells out “OH CRAP!”. They couldn’t think of anything better then “Oh Crap” to say, or did Lady Rerun just mad lib it?

Also, the contest was DoTheJingle.com but there was never any jingle. There was just a techno beat and someone singing “SafeAuto . . . SafeAuto”.

Here it is in its entirety.

Coors Light Cold Activating Bottles

Beer commercials do this all the time: they market new innovations that don’t make a difference at all. All the cold activated bottles do is save you the 5 seconds it takes to reach down and pick up the bottle.

Plus, there isn’t a difference in taste between 46 degrees and 34 degrees? They’re both cold.

Another example of this is the Miller Light Vortex Bottle. Do groves in a bottle make any difference?

No.

Here is the commercial, then let’s just move on.

Flo From Progressive

worst-tv-commercials-floBy far the worst commercial on TV. She isn’t funny, she isn’t attractive, she is just really awkward and annoying. She also may be the palest person on the planet and her voice sounds like if nails scratching on a chalkboard and a vuvuzela had a child.

Her name is horrible too. “Flo” is the least attractive name in the English language, just barely beating out Tori Spelling.

I don’t even want to post a video because I fear for your sanity. Plus just look at that face; when she actually talks you just want to do whatever it takes to shut her up.

But since this is the top spot (or is it the bottom?) in our list, I feel compelled to post one video so you can truly understand what I’m describing. (And if by some benevolent act of divine intervention you haven’t seen this commercial yet, do not watch the following video. Thank your lucky stars that you’ve been spared and just move on.)

Most of the commercials will have this price board that compares other insurance companies’ prices to Progressive’s. Progressive’s is always an unbelievable low price like $170 dollars while Nationwide is like $675 dollars. I don’t find that to be a very believable quote.

But what puts her at number #1 is her radio commercials are atrocious too. The only positive is you don’t have to see her face.

Well that’s all the horrible commercials I can put up with if. If there was any you thought I missed just leave a comment below.

Email me at onda2531@gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter @OndaMSF.


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Filed Under: Funny Tagged With: Bad Commercials, commercials, Coors Light, Flo from Progressive, sports on tv
  • Bobby Digital

    You are apparently the only man on the planet that doesn't wanna fuck Flo.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

    Umm…count me among those who would prefer not to engage in any type of relations with Flo. So that makes at least two.

  • Anonymous

    I really hate Mr. Opportunity. I mean a really fucking lot

  • Brandon Onda

    Thank you, I totally agree.

  • sea

    The loudmouth obnoxious Miller High Life beer delivery guy ads are the worst. The ones where he takes away the beer because he's jealous and envious of the rich people who are drinking it.

    Dumbest thing I've seen. And that is saying a lot, because almost all American ads make no sense.

  • efc

    Make that three.

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  • razorsfury

    id fuck flo

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  • Anon

    Flos is hot!

  • John

    The Keystone Light commercials are horrible. No mention of those…

  • Brian

    Flo is a totally hotty!

  • boboboboboo

    Flo is hot.

  • http://www.omniphobic.com Wuahn Oakland

    My three-year-old will stop whatever he's doing when those Progressive commercials come on, stare intensely at the TV, and then go back to whatever he's doing when it's over. Personally, I don't find "Flo" or the Progressive commercials any more or less annoying than anything else on TV.

  • boons

    I guess we just filled our homo quota. :o)

  • ExRayz

    And who voted Brandon Onda a critic of commercials anyway? BTW, as to Flo being pale – let me give Brandon a hint – Makeup! And these commercials are very popular and successful. I get so sick of the media pushing there own little agendas!

  • Andrew

    It's commercials like the Progressive ads with Flo that made me decide to stop watching over-the-air television. The cable company sends snail mail every couple of months to try to sell me cable service — round-filed. Even Dish and DirectTV is ignored. Instead, I listen to the water-cooler conversation, and pick up the DVD sets of those shows that sound like they may be interesting. The savings in my time has been remarkable, and Recycled Records makes this an inexpensive way to watch the better shows. Also, I get to watch when *I* want to, not when the TV networks feel they can one-up their competition.

  • http://twitter.com/davidscoville @davidscoville

    Most of these comercials aren't that bad. This is bad: http://bit.ly/97XCIQ

  • paul b

    here's flo when she's not in the commercial. name is stephanie. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1941215744/nm0183960

  • Truthiness

    The worst commercials on TV are by far the 5 Hour Energy commercials. They had one that was almost okay but then they did a shot for shot remake of it with a different guy who has a horrible raspy voice. If you're a Hulu user you know what I'm talking about.

  • Friday

    I have a lot of anger and hatred toward TV commercials, but the Progressive ads don't bother me that much. And I like the Miller Lite ones where they take beer away from rich assholes. Not that I'd drink Miller Lite unless I had to, but I like making fun of rich jerks. The other Miller Lite ones are asinine. There are so many bad commercials out there – ones that insult my intelligence, try to mislead me, or are just annoying.

  • Ineedalife

    The Chase Sapphire couple might be worst on tv. He wants to take a trip and she spends the points on a dress? And he chuckles about being married to a selfish woman?

  • williambillbilly

    what you may not relize is this is a comercial and the writer is getting paid for these adds per viewer,progresive being the dominant payer thus the dominant add on said page.

  • Travis

    Flo is the best, this article is shit.

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  • Itscalledtheknock

    "It's called the knock!"

    …what? what the fuck kind of dance is that?!

  • billybillwilliam

    realize, commercial, ads, progressive, ad

  • Ghest

    someone is new to the internjet

  • Cole

    The ones with "Keith Stone"…you're right. They are WAY worse than either beer commercial posted here.

  • wtfyoutalkinbout

    The **** you say about my Flo?

  • jmichaels

    What about ANY Comcast commercial. I fucking hate that company. And listening to their commercials is like fingernails on a blackboard, someone twisting styrofoam, and my wife telling me to take out the garbage ALL AT ONCE.

  • SAiNT

    Flo is HOT. PERIOD

  • Evan

    This article sucks. You could have made far better choices with much better writing. Boo.

  • Bob Jones

    Flo is most definitely hot. And hilarious. You're a dumbass

  • kipmartin

    Did you forget to use your spell- or grammar-checker for this article? Was the typesetter drunk?

  • Nerf

    You're dissing Flo? I would do her… A LOT!

  • Brandon Onda

    I did.

  • Brandon Onda

    I totally agree with you man

  • Brandon Onda

    Yeah there either hit and miss

  • Brandon Onda

    I dont understand your logic. Why would Progressive and these other companies pay me so I can trash them? And they dont pay me.

  • Anon

    failed article is fail

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/ablestmage ablestmage

    I agree, Flo is outright hideous. How exactly this was a positive reflection on Progressive is beyond me. I will absolutely not call if a freak like Flo is going to answer the phone, or the east Indian equivalent for that matter. To everyone who says she is hot — take her away please!

  • Steve

    You can trash Flo but don't talk crap on Michael Jackson.

  • Doug

    Nothing can top those rediculous hip hop rats driving cars in the hood. WTF? Who is their audience and why are they on my tv.

  • Marky

    You're SOOO progressive!

  • Sven

    I'd bang it like a screendoor in a hurricane!

  • Dude333

    I love Flo, she is my dream angel! Don't be scuurred, it's only makeup.

  • DEEJAYMARIO

    Right on with that creepy Mr. opportunity AD – the absolute worst, I also hate the geko with the cockney accent for Geiko – please retire this character. Unless you are Pixar, noone can do emotion and character in animation better than those guys, and then agree also with the Flo from the Progressive ads–HORRIBLE

  • sportsguy

    My most hated are the Staples ads where the loud mouth dork appears to be having an orgasm while shouting Wow what a low price at the top of his lungs. The others are any ad featuring Richard Shatner.

  • heyduke

    Yeah, I'm going to rush right out and buy a car from a cartoon guy. That really sells it for me!

  • seaserpent

    how about this one, that every time it comes on i run for the mute button. it"s been on for about a year now. lasts a whole minute and runs about 5 times in one hour. (AMICA CAR INSUR.) CALL AMICA NOW!! CALL AMICA NOW!! CALL AMICA NOW!! CALL AMICA NOW!! BELIEVE ME, IF THEY OFFERED ME A HUNDRED DOLS A YEAR TO INSURE MY AUTO I WOULD TELL THEM TO SHOVE IT. ITS SO BRAIN WASHING and aggravating.

  • Caroline

    I can deal with Flo in the Progressive commercials. Some of the worst commercials in my opinion are the following: the annoying Nationwide commercials; Allstate's Mayhem – he is extremely revolting; Keith Stone for Keystone Light Beer; the Kia commercials, and the annoying Nicorette commercial with the man and the shark, which in my opinion only makes you want to picking up smoking. The majority of them are insulting to people with any real intelligence. I usually either mute the tv or change the channel to another station. They are not having the desired effect that these companies are wishing to convey.

  • Rebecca

    PRISTIQUE!!!! You know the ads for the anti-depression meds??? These women on the ads who stare wantingly at he wind-up dolls? They look like they've become freaking ZOMBIES and pick up the creepy look-alike dolls as though they're voodoo dolls? Plus the look on their faces make it seem as though they're about to burst into tears at any moment! "…PRISTIQUE…take our meds…become a zombie…get a free doll…"

  • Thomas Gee

    To everyone dissing these ads… Gotcha. The goal of an ad is to get noticed, which you did and you wrote in about them.

  • Ron

    What bunch of idiots do those stupid Dairy Queen commercials?

  • Dave

    Nuvaring. I change the channel when I see it. I also get a little fired up at the Humane Society adds asking people to help sponsor a dog at the pound. Considering that the pound terminates all those dogs after seven days, I just can't quite figure out where the sponsorship money goes. Do they buy a quicker-killing gas or what?

  • Lyle G

    Yea , I do hate little white jump suit – didn't know her name before. And the General. I hate most comms. My all time hate is for prescription drug adds with their endless cautions and dangers to the extent that I think if I had any of the stuff around, I'd call hazmat.

  • Changomon

    your an idiot for writing this crap.

  • Gwen

    william shatner

  • gwen

    flo rocks

  • Just Me

    Allstate "mayhem" is by far the worse, followed closely by Progressive, ranks right up there with Justin Case!!!!

  • brent

    the mom and dad in the van?

  • brent

    yes they do and I take note to not use or buy any of the products!

  • Brian

    Dude, I agree with you 100 percent!!! Anybody who doesn't dislike Flo has some big problems!! She is SOOOO annoying and the commercial itself is so, so stupid. I can't stand 'em. Justin Case and Safe Auto commercials are just as annoying!! Especially the Lady Re-Run one you have posted here. I mean, who actually ok'd this commercial to air? And more importantly, who are the people that this commercial targets, that are so impressed w/ these commercials that they go buy Progressive insurance. OH, CRAP

  • Brandon Onda

    Your a smart man Brian.

  • dead rat

    Finally somebody agrees with me. I can't watch those Progressive ads without wanting to split that broad's head with an axe.

  • dead rat

    yeeeech

  • dead rat

    thought the point was to get people to buy their crap. I wouldn't get insurance from Progressive even if it was the cheapest, which it isn't.

  • Tray A

    The auto insurance ads, the lawyer ads, the Jenny Craig and diet ads, are shown EVERY FRIGGIN' COMMERCIAL BREAK! Thankfully, at the break of every show I'm watching I hit mute and go do stuff. Otherwise I might go Kurt Cobain being so sad at the insulting stupidity of stuff on the glass teat. Yeah, I know. I should stop complaining and pick up a book. You shut up!

  • Dave

    How about the Direct TV commercial where the nasty slag waitress wrings out her urine soaked panties in the guy's tea.

  • Tomorrow's Child

    Nothing is worse than the Fiber One commercials. Whoever came up with that one need their head examined. The first commercial is almost eerie…the "conversation" between the 'shopper' and the man in the store is plain stupid. Moreover, I couldn't stop staring at the "shopper's " ears…perhaps the focus on her ears were intentional.

  • Carly Corday

    Flo is NICE. What about that?? You're in the minority hating Flo. Everybody loves her–because she is, above anything, unmitigatedly NICE. People like that. People respond to it. People are starved for it (well, I AM). There isn't enough of it. You have to be a hater and a half to hate Flo. Ask almost anybody.

    Poor Keith Stone, though, ouch. He's the guy you catch peeping in your window. I don't want to contribute to the doom of the actor, but whoever created the ads should sure be doomed.

    One caveat on Flo: The commercial with the September couple (gray-heads) getting all turned on with each other in the insurance store should be doomed. Make it go away!

  • Carly Corday

    Oh, God, me too. Grab the remote in a panic, drop the remote, scramble for it , pick it up and hit MUTE then PREV CHAN ASAP. I'll eat a bug before I'll go in that store.

  • Carly Corday

    I love, I mean LOVE, the ORBIT GUM commercials. Link licker! Balthazar?

    (That English girl is pitch-perfect.)

  • Carly Corday

    Lint licker, I meant.

  • kyle

    yes…. :)

  • Pooter

    Actually Dave, there are a ton of humane societys that are anti-euthanizing…..thats where your money goes.

  • jjparavisini

    I work in advertising, I'm a copywriter. I absolutely hate, and have always hated, every single animated Red Bull energy drink commercial ever made. Every single one of them is a joke that fizzles out or goes totally lame. I think these ads are translated and run in different countries… I definitely don't get the sense of humor. I've even been in movie theaters where they'll run one of those idiotic commercials and immediately you'll hear a low murmur of people reacting in different ways: "ugh," "boooo!," "duh-huh-duh-huh," or someone grunting as if being kicked right in the stomach. I blame the client for originally accepting this premise and for allowing it to continue.

  • Raul

    The Kia hip hop hamsters is definitely the worst.

  • Claire

    I looked up this web site just because I hate the Progressive Insurance ads so much. I guessed that other people would have beaten me to the idea of naming the commercials we hate so much that we'd never buy the product.

  • jimdonny

    Just when I thought there was nothing worse than that insipid Flo bimbo for Progressive, along comes Nationwide with that ugly, condescending and obnoxious "worlds greatest spokesperson" with the blue desk phone strapped around him.

    Now for the prescription drug ads where the side effects are worse than the ailment, many times including DEATH.

    The ones that really tick me off it the proliferation of SCAM ads that are allowed. I know that times are bad, but cable/dish companies, networks and local stations allowing them just to get advertising dollars is shameful. I am talking about the "advertised on TV' items where the handling costs are more than the product. Then there are the credit repair scams, the auto repair coverage scams, the "free credit report" scams and sooo many more shameful scams. DO NOT BUY AND PRODUCT OR SERVICE advertised on TV or the internet without first googling the product or service with the word SCAM after it. So many people are ripped off by not doing this simple research.

  • Bigboy22

    The absolute dumbest commercials or, to me, the "I cant believe its not butter" where the woman is in a red evening dress, and the stock boy and her starts dancing. If i were to go grocery shopping and see that, I would think it is some sort of strange '60's flashback. Then there is the J.G. Wentworth commercial where a whole bus load of idiots are singing opera. I agree with the Nationwide commercials, an idiodic person, wearing an unconnected phone making imaginery phone calls would make me want to buy their pretent insurance.

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  • Maureen

    How about Weight Watchers commercials with Jennifer Hudson! She's just awful. Vonage (tiresome and terrible).