Les Miles Breaks News: Oil Spill Affects…THE OCEAN!!!

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Les Miles is amusing.

He’s not amusing in the way Louis CK or Zach Galifianakis are amusing – you know, where they try to be amusing; rather, Les Miles is unintentionally amusing because, well, he just says and does the darndest things.

Yesterday, good ol’ Les added to his ever-expanding litany of Joe Biden moments when asked for his thoughts on how the oil spill is affecting the Gulf region where Miles and his Tigers call home.

Let’s just say that Miles’ response did not sound like that of a man who reads many books. (And, as we’ll find out in a bit, that is an apt description of our bayou hero.)

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Dallas makes Bryant first 1st-rounder to sign

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Update: According to NFL.com’s Jason LaCanfora, the Dallas Cowboys have agreed to a five-year deal worth over $12 million, with more than $8.5 million in guarantees, with first-round draft pick Dez Bryant. The Cowboys will report to training camp in San Antonio on Friday and their first workout is scheduled for Saturday. “This was very important for me to be able to get this done in time for the first practice,” Bryant said. “I want to help this team. I want to compete. I can’t wait to start playing football again.”

Fantasy Impact: This was very important for Dez and the Cowboys. Roy Williams hasn’t given any reason for anyone to feel like they can rely on him consistently, Patrick Crayton is unhappy and wants a trade, Miles Austin is unlikely to match last year’s production and will draw more attention this season. So, it’s time for Dez to get in the film room, get his nose in the playbook, and get on the same page with Tony Romo and offensive coordinator Jason Garrett. Stay tuned for training camp updates and preseason reports, but I believe Bryant will be the best rookie receiver in the league. If you’ve drafted two receivers and he’s still on the board, maybe. If you’ve taken three wideouts and his name is still listed on the draft board, don’t think twice.

This content was written and contributed by Nova Fantasy Sports and is syndicated on Midwest Sports Fans.

Dumervil, Broncos Agree to Extension

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Update: ESPN's John Clayton is reporting that linebacker Elvis Dumervil has agreed to an extension with the Denver Broncos. Reportedly the six-year contract is worth $61.5 million with at least $40 million guaranteed. Last month Dumervil signed his restricted free-agent tender, which turned out to be a great decision on his part. Fantasy Impact: The Broncos have now secured one of the best pass rushers in the NFL. The Broncos were the best ranked defense in the beginning weeks of the season and finished in the top ten in defensive rankings. A large amount of the defense's success was due to the acquisition of veteran Brian Dawkins and Dumervil's 17 sacks. After the best five defenses have been drafted, I would consider picking Denver, especially since they play in a considerably weak division as they play Kansas City and Oakland a total of four times.



McCoy Signs with Browns

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Update: ESPN.com is reporting that QB Colt McCoy, a third-round pick, has signed a four-year deal with the Cleveland Browns. James Walker writes that the deal may be worth $5 million, with $1.07 guaranteed.  

 

Fantasy Impact: The rookie from Texas will most likely start as the third-string quarterback, behind veterans Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace. The only way I could see McCoy starting a game this season is if one of the two veterans experiences an injury or if Delhomme continues to throw a high amount of interceptions. McCoy could be an emergency pick-up at the tail end of the season for fantasy owners.



Dez Bryant has agreed to terms with the Dallas Cowboys

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Update: Calvin Watkins from ESPNDallas.com is reporting that the Dallas Cowboys have agreed to terms with first-round pick WR Dez Bryant. The financial details of the deal have not been disclosed.

Fantasy Impact: Bryant was the 24th pick of the draft after the Cowboys traded up in order to select the talented Oklahoma State wide receiver. Bryant was suspended for the majority of last year’s season after lying to the NCAA regarding his involvement with former Cowboy Deion Sanders. The rookie joins an offense that already features Roy Williams and Miles Austin. It will be interesting to see the depth chart at the beginning of the season. Bryant will be a good option to draft in the beginning rounds for Fantasy owners who play in keeper leagues.



Rams deal with Bradford negotiations; Feeley runs show in interim

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Update: As contract negotiations have opened up between the Rams and first overall pick Sam Bradford, Rams’ COO Kevin Demoff told WXOS-FM in St. Louis, “I don’t think there’s any reason to be nervous. These deals are complex. They take twists and turns up until the end, but it’s a deadline league.” Demoff has said he would like Bradford to report by the start of training camp July 28, but a team source told the “St. Louis Post-Dispatch” that a deal isn’t expected to come soon.

Fantasy Impact: A potential sleeper that could emerge, depending on how long the negotiations drag out and how far Bradford shows that he still has to go in his development as a franchise quarterback, is the Rams’ stop-gap quarterback A.J. Feeley. Bradford still has much to learn as he adjusts from a spread offense to the intricacies of a pro-style attack, as well as being able to read defenses at this level. NFL.com’s Bucky Brooks noted that Feeley “has shown signs of being a capable starter when pressed into action” and “as a strong-armed thrower…is more than capable of running the Rams’ quick-rhythm passing game.” It seems pretty clear at this point that Bradford will not be starting for St. Louis on Opening Day. Truthfully, if you want to get a good season out of an unproven, mediocre, or past his prime qb, make him an afterthought or seat-warmer for a high draft pick (see Derek Anderson in 2007, Mark Brunell in 2005, Drew Brees in 2004 before he became what he did and after the Chargers drafted Philip Rivers, Kurt Warner throughout his tenure in Arizona). My take is draft Feeley as a backup, particularly as a handcuff for someone who won’t be playing at the start of the year (like Ben Roethlisberger).



Reed unsure when he’ll return;wants more support from Ravens

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Update: Ravens All-Pro safety Ed Reed has made a few things clear this week; he is unsure of when he will be ready to step onto the field for the Ravens as he recovers from offseason hip surgery, though he calls reports that he will be placed on the PUP (physically unable to perform) list for the first six weeks "erroneous"; he is looking for more support from the Ravens organization, and did not approach the team about a new contract this year. Reed spoke of "minor" problems he has had with the Ravens organization which he declined to elaborate on in an interview with the "Baltimore Sun" beyond, "It's like a marriage. There are going to be disagreements. You've got to work with that person. When it starts to get too much, you got to pull back [and ask] 'Is it worth it or should I take a pay cut and be on another team?'…I haven't had the support from the other side as you think has been there. If I don't say it now, it won't ever get said."

Fantasy Impact: I think Reed is entering his final year in a Raven uniform, but for all you fans of other teams who have already started dreaming about having this playmaker in your secondary, I think you may be out of luck as well. Based on reports of contemplating retirement, the uncertainty of his recovery timetable from his surgery, and all of the injuries that have accumulated over the years, I think we may very well have seen the last of Ed Reed's days as an elite player. It's unfortunate, because he has been one of the true good guys in this league and one of the best safeties of all time; a surefire Hall of Famer. Unfortunately, I think that between Reed and Ray Lewis' decline, and the lack of stability at cornerback (aside from Lardarius Webb, who still needs work, and in spite of the recent signing of Walt Harris), the Ravens' defense will no longer be a top-5 unit. This could mean good things for Joe Flacco and a receiver like Anquan Boldin if the lack of defensive stability causes Cam Cameron and John Harbaugh to expand the playbook, which they've begun doing this offseason.



Reed unsure when he’ll return;wants more support from Ravens

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Update: Ravens All-Pro safety Ed Reed has made a few things clear this week; he is unsure of when he will be ready to step onto the field for the Ravens as he recovers from offseason hip surgery, though he calls reports that he will be placed on the PUP (physically unable to perform) list for the first six weeks "erroneous"; he is looking for more support from the Ravens organization, and did not approach the team about a new contract this year. Reed spoke of "minor" problems he has had with the Ravens organization which he declined to elaborate on in an interview with the "Baltimore Sun" beyond, "It's like a marriage. There are going to be disagreements. You've got to work with that person. When it starts to get too much, you got to pull back [and ask] 'Is it worth it or should I take a pay cut and be on another team?'…I haven't had the support from the other side as you think has been there. If I don't say it now, it won't ever get said."

Fantasy Impact: I think Reed is entering his final year in a Raven uniform, but for all you fans of other teams who have already started dreaming about having this playmaker in your secondary, I think you may be out of luck as well. Based on reports of contemplating retirement, the uncertainty of his recovery timetable from his surgery, and all of the injuries that have accumulated over the years, I think we may very well have seen the last of Ed Reed's days as an elite player. It's unfortunate, because he has been one of the true good guys in this league and one of the best safeties of all time; a surefire Hall of Famer. Unfortunately, I think that between Reed and Ray Lewis' decline, and the lack of stability at cornerback (aside from Lardarius Webb, who still needs work, and in spite of the recent signing of Walt Harris), the Ravens' defense will no longer be a top-5 unit. This could mean good things for Joe Flacco and a receiver like Anquan Boldin if the lack of defensive stability causes Cam Cameron and John Harbaugh to expand the playbook, which they've begun doing this offseason.



Revis intends to continue his career in NY

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Update: According to New York Daily News, New York Jets' CB Darrelle Revis said Wednesday he his intention is to remain with the Jets organization far into the future. "They know my heart is with the Jets and the New York/New Jersey area. I'm here as long as I can be," Revis said in a live chat on NFLPlayers.com. "If they give me the ability to have a choice, I'll stay here as a Jet."

Fantasy Impact: Last season, Revis recorded 54 tackles and intercepted six passes as he anchored a defense that led the Jets to the AFC Championship Game.



ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in…Baby Names?

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Every time I think ESPN can’t possibly weasel it’s way into another place where it’s not wanted or supposed to be — other examples include: awards shows; primetime free agent “decisions”; and Monday Night Football — I find out that I’m wrong.

Today’s example: BabyNames.com.

That’s right, because a few attention-starved, possibly deranged families decided to curse their children for life by naming them after a cable sports network, BabyNames.com has decided that this suggestion should be made to other parents who are so desperate that they need a website to help them choose a name.

The unfortunate screenshot is below.

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Buccaneers Sign Price To 4-Year Deal

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Update: According to St. Petersburg Times, Tampa Bay Buccaneers' second-round pick, Brian Price, signed a four-year contract Tuesday, making him by far the highest-drafted player to sign.

"I'm glad my agent got the deal done, so now I can concentrate on having a great training camp," Price said in a statement released by the Bucs. "I'm looking forward to contributing to the Buccaneers' dominant defensive tradition."

The Bucs have three unsigned rookies: first-round pick Gerald McCoy, second-round choice Arrelious Benn and seventh-rounder Cody Grimm.

Fantasy Impact: Price was last year's Pac-10 defensive player of the year at UCLA.



Lions’ Suh Still Unsigned

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Update: According to Detroit News, Detroit Lions' DT, Ndamukong Suh, is still unsigned with NFL training camps rapidly approaching. Suh's agent, Roosevelt Barnes, insists Suh's value to the Lions is all that counts. "I'm negotiating for Ndamukong Suh, and the player that he is and the person he is — on and off the field," Barnes said.



Russell Pleads Not Guilty to Charges

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Update: According to the Oakland Tribune, ex-Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell pleaded not guilty Tuesday morning to a felony charge of possession of a controlled substance. Russell declined to speak with reporters after being given a preliminary hearing date of Aug. 11. Russell, who was the former No. 1 pick by the Oakland Raiders in 2007, was arrested in Mobile on July 5 and was charged with possession of codeine syrup without a prescription. Donald Briskman, Russell's attorney, is confident the former LSU star will be cleared of the charges. Russell is also facing grievances from the Raiders, who are seeking a return of $9.5 million the team says was a salary advance for the next three seasons.



Benson to meet with Goodell on Thursday

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Update: According to NFL.com, Cincinnati Bengals RB Cedric Benson was arrested Tuesday in Austin, TX and charged with misdemeanor assault for allegedly punching a bar employee nearly a month ago. The arrest comes at a bad time for Benson, whose representatives approached the Bengals about a contract extension, the Dayton Daily News reported last week. "The team is aware of the incident," the Bengals said in a statement. "However, as with most situations of this nature, it would be inappropriate for the team to comment until the matter is resolved through normal legal channels." Benson, who is scheduled to meet with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on Thursday, could receive a suspension, NFL Network insider Jason La Canfora reported.

Fantasy Impact: Benson, who was drafted in the first round by the Chicago Bears in 2005, was cut by the team in 2008 for legal troubles. He signed with the Bengals as a free agent and led the team with a career-high 1,251 rushing yards and six touchdowns in 2009.



Fact: Darrius Heyward-Bey makes more $$$ playing and endorsing sports in 2010 than Albert Pujols

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The title of this post is meant to, in a very matter-of-fact way, shock the hell out of you and leave you wondering what the hell is wrong with the sports world.

Mission accomplished? Good. I thought so.

And trust me, it’s no typo.

Just for effect, I’m going to type it out again: stone-handed Darrius Heyward-Bey, he of the nine catches for 124 yards as a rookie in Oakland last year, will make more money from salary and endorsements ($21,505,000) in 2010 than Albert Pujols ($21,000,000), one of the greatest baseball players and athletes we have ever seen.

Let’s see what other fun comparisons we can make with SI.com’s annual Fortunate 50!

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