U.S. Pisses off David Beckham, Battles England to 1-1 Draw in World Cup Opener

If you know me, you know that I am not a natural soccer (sorry…FOOTBALL!) fan.

But I promise you that I’m trying. Two of my best friends in high school were pretty boy blonde prancers who enjoyed duking it out with only their feet on “the pitch”, so in honor of them (this is for you Jay and Jackson Kavanaugh) I am doing my best to get into the 2010 World Cup.

And to be perfectly honest, I was completely enthralled by today’s 1-1 tie between the U.S. and England in what was widely renowned as the most anticipated soccer match in U.S. history.

One picture, I think, pretty much sums up the entire day:

Image source: Imgur

Yeah, inexplicably, random Express for Men models were allowed on the benches today as the U.S. faced off against England in each country’s first match of the 2010 World Cup.

The Express model above, seated on the England side (and, coincidentally, the man who was going to make Americans care about soccer!!!), was caught in this photo expressing his disdain for one of the most pathetic goals in World Cup history.

Since the U.S. is one of the most pathetic countries in World Cup history…we’ll take it!

And that’s true. I’m serious. We will take it.

I don’t know much about soccer, nor the overall international landscape, but I do know that the U.S. battling England to a draw in the first match of a World Cup is huge. Not only is it a huge disappointment for the Brits, but it positions us to get to the elimination round with competent performances against Slovenia and Algeria.

So congrats U.S. We may have needed the gaffe of God to do it (not to be confused with the hand of God) but we got out of today with a draw…and clueless soccer fans like myself are rejoicing across the plains of America.