Hey Kareem…why so serious?

Last night, the Los Angeles Lakers avenged their 2008 Finals loss by beating the Boston Celtics in a knock down, drag out slugfest of a Game 7.

What the game lacked in beauty and style, however, it more than made up for in heart, grit, and absolute effort.

The Lakers’ Game 7 victory also means that Kobe Bryant and his always clutch teammate Derek Fisher both have now won five NBA championships. To put that prodigious total into perspective, it is the same number of titles that legends Magic and Kareem won while wearing the gold and purple.

Hmm…could that perhaps be why Kareem is the turd in the Lakers’ celebratory punchbowl in this picture?

I surfed over to SI.com this morning to check their morning headlines and the picture below adorned the front page:

If you just glance at it, nothing all that interesting right? Kobe and Fisher are holding up trophies with big smiles on their faces. Shannon Brown and Jordan Farmer seem comfortable in their sidekick roles. And some lady who looks like a done-up version of the Octomom stares off into space down in the corner.

But look a little closer.

Look in the middle of the picture. See the bald man who towers over everyone and who is the only person in the picture looking directly at the camera? As you undoubtedly know, that is the NBA’s all-time leading scorer, and one of the greatest Lakers of all time, one Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

And he appears to either be either angry…or constipated.

Take an ever closer look:

And now, because extreme close-ups of old, angry, bald guys is fun, take an even closer look:

Kareem, bro, lighten up a little man. I mean, I know that the inconvenience of Game 7 means that you couldn’t re-read War and Peace for the seventh time, but the win brought the Lakers – your Lakers – to within one of the Celtics’ all time record for NBA titles.

And your staring at the camera like you want to rip someone’s head off.

Update: Let me take this opportunity here in the middle of the post to update it real quick with some info that a commenter was kind of enough to point out. Kareem, as many people know and I forgot, is battling leukemia. Fortunately, the long-term prognosis is positive as this form of the disease can be managed relatively well.

Now, knowing this fact probably makes this post seem a little insensitive – and perhaps rightfully so. I might have backed off a bit had I remembered this.

But the point of the post is the irony of Kareem’s expression amidst so much jubilation. And Kareem was always known to be a rather quiet, even sullen guy; so he might have looked like this even if he wasn’t sick.

Anyway, I thought this was important to point out. Feel free to flame me in the comments section if you want to.  I understand.

Could it be that this picture is a manifestation of Kareem’s jealousy that he know must share his 5-time champion pedestal with not only Magic, but also Kobe and some little pipsqueak point guard? Perhaps seeing Kobe and Fisher holding up the trophies reminded Kareem that as each year passes he gets closer and closer to just being known as the bearded black guy in Airplane.

Or, perhaps, Kareem is just kind of a sullen, stoic guy and has the ability to frown and glare in an arena with thousands of other people who are beside themselves with jubilation. And this pic just caught him in one of those moments.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

Who cares anyway. What? You were expecting actual analysis of the game? Ha…I’ll leave that to Devon. The picture is funny and neither team is from the Midwest, so this is what you get.

And real quick before I hit publish, I’d just like to think my boys back in the hood and my psychiatrist for making this post possible.

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