Tips, Advice, and Guidance for Colts Fans Going to Miami

January 28, 2010 By Jerod Morris 62 Comments

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Miami is an…interesting…place.

I lived in Miami for two years after graduating from Indiana University and after living my entire life in Bloomington and West Lafayette (strange combo, I know). I’d been to Miami many times before, perhaps once a year on average, because my mom grew up there and we still have a lot of family down there.

Still, actually living in Miami was a pretty big culture shock for a small town Indiana dude like me.

That is why I am taking some time this morning to provide a few tips to all of the Hoosiers who will be heading down to Miami this week and next for the Super Bowl.

I know that many Colts fans made the jaunt a few years back when Indy beat Chicago in the Super Bowl, so some will have familiarity with the city, but I am sure that there will be many other Miami newbs bopping around las calles de Miami for the next fortnight. Those people need serious, expert, no-tongue-in-check-whatsoever advice.

And that’s why you come to Midwest Sports Fans.

First off, as has been immortalized in many movies, TV shows, songs, and video games, Miami can be a dangerous place. Luckily for you, one of the jobs I had in Miami was a face-to-face marketing gig for clients like the Florida Marlins and Pizza Hut that placed me directly in some of Miami’s most notorious areas.

Yes, I have seen the parts of Miami that most pampered, suburban Midwesterners would have trouble conjuring up even in their most frightening of nightmares. Among the areas that you might want to stay away from if you’re visiting Miami from Indianapolis (and thus, will naturally look a gigantic tool and stick out like a sore thumb):

Overtown – I know it sounds like it could be a nice area with cool outlet shopping, but it’s not. I think it got its name because you have a fair chance of your life being over if you go there.
Liberty City – You should not confuse this with the touristy part of Philadelphia and think that you’ll see historic bells or get lessons on the Continental Congress. Rather, the people of Liberty City might take liberty with your belongings – against your wishes – should you venture too far in. There’s a reason one of the Grand Theft Auto games was named “Liberty City Stories”.
Carol City – I know that the name sounds pretty innocent, and Carol City is actually immediately south of where Sun Life Stadium is, but this is another area where Midwesterners without any street savvy have no business being.

Now, for the record, I have been to all three of these places, gone door to door even at night, and I’m still here writing about them after having no issues. The fact of the matter is that some of the nicest, most genuine people I met in Miami – and they are few and far between – lived in these areas.

However, I also had a coworker get the snot beaten out of him and robbed one night too. So I guess I was lucky (which helped combat being incredibly naive/stupid). This has nothing do with race, creed, or anything else…the stats say you should stay away from these areas, and anyone in Miami would tell you the same thing. Heck, people who live in these areas would tell you to stay away, like they told me.

My advice to you: stick to the touristy areas where there are plenty of bright lights.

South Beach is fun and colorful, though extremely expensive.
Aventura has really nice shopping for all of the ladies out there.
If you want a dinner recommendation, drive down to Shorty’s in Kendall one night. Amazing BBQ that I’ve been eating since I was a kid. (Do not, however, go to any of the other Shorty’s that have popped up. The original is by far the best.)

Other than that, I’m a relatively boring person, so I’ll defer to KVB for other Miami recommendations. He actually went out and had fun when he lived there. I, on the other hand, worked like a dog…and almost got bitten by many of them too.

With all of that said, I want to provide one more public service to my Indianapolis brethren preparing to make their trek to Miami. I have compiled some photos of Colts fans below and offered some friendly advice to these people, and to anyone who may resemble them.

Photo credit: AP Photo/AJ Mast

For all of the grandmas and grandpas out there, don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by the reputation that Florida has for being a retirement haven. That’s Orlando and Tampa. You’re going to Miami…so leave the “rob me” wig and matching spectacles in the hotel room.

Look dude, if I had to profile the kind of person that would get their ass kicked in Miami about five minutes after getting off the plane, you’re it.

Now, I should mention that I own a miniature pinscher, often wear the jersey of my favorite team, and sometimes make the gestures of a turd sandwich when in front a camera. So, in a lot of ways, I’m just like the guy in this picture.

However, I don’t dress my dog up like a bitch, nor do I allow said photos to be published online as if proud of them.

You might want to put your wallet on a chain buddy. There are special sirens that go off in Miami when people like you arrive. You may not actually have “kick my ass” written on the back of your shirt…but it won’t matter. To really show my kinship with the other Midwesterners reading this post, I’ll quote the famous country lyric: “you say it best when you say nothing at all.”

Photo by Jason Clark, Courier Press

This is what it looks like when people in Indianapolis go clubbing: lots of chubby, goofy white people wearing Peyton Manning jerseys. This is decidedly not what it looks like when people in Miami go clubbing.

Friends from Indianapolis, I still go back to Miami from time to time. Please do not embarrass me by showing up to South Beach clubs with your jerseys, goatees, sweat stains, and random muscle spams (oh…that’s dancing?). I’ll catch all kinds of grief next time I go down there. Let’s try not to embarrass ourselves too much, okay?

Photo credit: Classical Geek Theatre

No, you cannot combat the scariest parts of Miami by making an angry face and pretending to be a hardass. Don’t try. Just get out of your car, hand over your wallet, or surrender your table, whatever is being asked of you. Don’t ask questions and don’t try to fight it. You’re from Indianapolis (from the Nap!…yeah!)…know your role.

Photo credit: Matt Kryger / The Star

Well this picture kind of sums up Colts fans doesn’t it? Wannabes.

What other fan base would straight copy another fan base’s historic piece of fan gear – the Packers’ cheesehead in this case – and paint over it to make it their own? Colts fans, that’s who.

Look Indy fans, you’ve enjoyed a hell of a run over the last decade thanks to Peyton Manning, Tony Dungy, and the brilliance of Bill Polian, but it’s hard for me to have too much respect for you knowing two things:

The Colts had very little fan support before the team started winning. Go to Cleveland and see what real fan support is all about.
The Pacers had great fan support when they were winning, yet now are basically an afterthought in the city. I guess this is what the Colts have to look forward to once Peyton retires.

Indianapolis, which is a city I’ve lived in and still love, remains a fair-weather, fake, second rate professional sports town. Cry in the comment section if you wish Dolts, but it’s true. Pictures like the one above – and no offense to the kid, who I’m sure was forced to wear the cheesehead by overbearing parents – prove that Indy fans can’t create traditions of their own so they steal them from others.

That’s lame.

So. as you embark on your journey to sunny South Florida, here’s one more piece of advice Colts fans: don’t be lame.

Don’t wear blue “rob me” wigs in public, don’t put clothes on your mini dog and prance around town with him, don’t wear jerseys to clubs, don’t try to act like a hardass, and most certainly don’t walk around using another fan base’s tradition to pretend that yours actually has one.

As I mentioned before, I have to go back to Miami and I’d really like to only take grief for how big of a dork I am. I don’t want to have to answer for my entire home state as well.

Oh, and one more thing: no, your 14-0 start is not as impressive an accomplishment as the Dolphins’ 14-0 regular season in 1972 and subsequent perfect playoff run. Even if you win your 17th game in the Super Bowl. 17-2 does not equal 17-0.

Want to get your ass kicked real fast? Try arguing that down in Miami. You’d be safer sleeping in a tent in the middle of Overtown than spouting that nonsense anywhere in the vicinity of a Dolphins fan or, worse yet, former player.

Because here’s one final piece of advice: forget being frightened by Liberty City or Carol City; you never know when Mercury Morris might be lurking around the corner, ready to freestyle.

Update: My friend just emailed me the following good advice:

Get some drinks in and party but don’t get Indy hammered. A fight in broad ripple result in fists. Not always the case in Mia.

I know me of all people…like pot calling kettle, but last time I went to broad ripple I was kinda shocked with the level of blackout drunks.

Great advice here. The stakes are definitely higher in Miami. Don’t be a fool Hoosier natives.

Update: Here is more from the same friend, who once got separated from his friends on New Years Eve and ended up sleeping in the street until being serendipitously found the next day. We’re all lucky he’s still here to provide these expert tips:

I think the grove might be a better place for Indy fans. Unless of course you get to sip soda at the clevelander with mariotti

In Mia it is best to order drinks on the rocks and skip the mixer. Otherwise you’ll be drinking a 15$ coke.

Update: You can stop hating Colts fans. I picked the Colts to win in my official Saints-Colts Super Bowl spread pick and prediction post.

**********

* – Mercury Morris photo credit: AP Photo – Charles Rex Arbogast via PennLive

Filed Under: Funny, NFL Tagged With: Colts fans, indianapolis, mercury morris, Miami, Super Bowl XLIV

About Jerod Morris

A proud graduate of Indiana University, Jerod Morris founded Midwest Sports Fans in August of 2008 and has been its Managing Editor every day since. Follow him on Twitter (@JerodMorris) for MSF updates, sports discussion, and a compelling daily assortment of funny and interesting links.
In addition to his work at MSF, Jerod hosts the fast-growing Indiana basketball postgame show The Assembly Call and provides regular music recommendations at IndieChristmas.com. He also helped develop the Synthesis Managed WordPress Hosting platform on which MSF and all of his other sites are run.

Kevin

The author makes Miami sound like the lawless, tribal regions of Pakistan. That’s lame.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Have you been to Miami? I don’t think it’s a bad as it was in the 80s, but there are some pretty lawless regions. I think I actually gave a pretty honest, accurate description. I’m more than willing to listed to counter arguments, but unless you’ve been to Miami and actually taken it in for everything it has to offer, you may not have the proper frame of reference. And remember, I was an Indiana kid living there for the first time. So the culture shock made things seem even more extreme. For the majority of the Indy fans coming down, there experience will be similar.
Kevin

Go to any large, metropolitan area and you're going to have "lawless" regions. I appreciate your article, some of it was entertaining, but in summary you address Hoosiers as a bunch of naive idiots who are inferior to Miami's riff-raff and unable to grasp when they might be in a questionable area. Personally, I've never made it to Miami, but I've seen Scarface……
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

I am a Hoosier…many of us, especially the ones from small towns, are a bunch of naive idiots who are inferior to Maimi’s riff-raff (if by inferior you mean that we’d easily be taken advantage of and/or uncomfortable in such surroundings).

It’s not a bad thing. I love Indiana. But the juxtaposition of typical Indiana people in Carol City of Liberty City is pretty funny. I know…I was one!
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Donald Farnborger

Damn. I guess what they say is true, never over-estimate the intelligence of your readers. I lived in Indiana (Bton and Indy) til age 35. I visited NYC (makes Miami look like Disneyworld in some area), New Orleans, Chicago, Miami, Boston, and even Newark. This article comes off more like you’re trying to brag how *hard* and *street smart* you are instead of giving real advice. It smacks of smugness.

But I’m not big sports fan so I’ll be happy to see some yokels get jelled inside the mindmeld of heaven, waking up in a tub of ice with no liver.
Jay

LULZ I agree my moms from Indiana but I was born and raised here in Miami, DO NOT go to liberty city or carol city or overtown like he said, liberty city has the highest crime rate in all of Florida, its the hood. Like the author said, check out aventura, miami beach, south beach, sawgrass mills mall in sunrise its this 2 mile long outlet mall, plus tons of other stuff, just be safe while your here, have fun, and don’t piss people off cause most people carry a weapon on them.
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mia

south beach resident here. welcome indy fans! we all breathed a sigh of relief when the saints got in so we’ll at least have some visitors with flavor :-). author is right in the areas listed, stay out of those and you shouldn’t have any problems. aventura, however is not worth your time. it’s mostly strip malls and big box retailers. some good restaurants, but i wouldn’t bother.

if you stay on south beach you’re fine, no real worries. if you want to cross the bridge and see some of the more local spots i’d recommend taking a cab unless you know where you’re going. coconut grove is really past its prime and not much different from any other outdoor mall. if you want to see some of today’s miami check out brickell, the design district, and wynwood. friday night is cultural fridays on calle ocho, the epicenter of our cuban community, and the best time for out of town gringos to walk the street at night so go if you want some true latino flavor.
Miamian

I live in Miami… Its not all bad… Just stay out of the areas that are bad… Also don’t look like or act like a tourist unless you are in designated tourist areas… Other than that, keep your self in check… Have fun… lock your doors…
Mark Zeitman III

Were you working for one of the Cydcor/Smart Circle/DS MAX door to door marketing companies there? It sounds like it based on clients and job description. Pretty crappy job huh?
KFox

My apologies for nerding out, but "Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories" subtitle wasn't named after any part of Miami. It's named after the fictional city (modeled after New York) that it and Grand Theft Auto 3 take place in.

What you want is "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City", which was loosely based on Miami as a whole.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

I am far from hard or street smart. Yes, I spent some time in some areas that, looking back on it, I probably should not have…but I would have thought the admission that I own a miniature pinscher would have removed any semblance of street toughness.

The first part of the article was meant to give some brief advice, but I also wanted to provide a little good-natured ribbing to many of the Colts fans I grew up with. My issues with Colts fans are well documented and this seemed like as good a time as any to point them out.

Hey, at the end of the day, what should a Colts fan think of what some jealous Browns fan thinks of them? At least the Colts fans have a chance to stick out like sore thumbs in Miami. I’ll be watching the Super Bowl on my couch, wishing I was fortunate enough to cheer for a team that won more games than any other team in any other decade ever.
Evan

Jerod you need to have a little more pride in your home town. This entire article is basically how anyone from Indiana is a retarded hillbilly who would get their ass kicked immediately if they went to Miami. You seem like the type of guy who could manage to get the shit kicked out of him in just about any city so I can understand why you might be scared. I grew up in Indiana and now live in Indianapolis and am proud that we have a manageable crime rate and are a little more civilized here. The fact that you can go out to the bars get a little crazy and make it home safe is a good thing. Your need to write an article bragging about how street smart you are compared to the people in Indiana just shows that you are a huge dousche and towards the end of this thing when you feel the need to pick on a grandma and an eight year old boy really turns it up a notch and places you among the dumbest ass holes that have ever felt the need to publicly trash their home town. Please stay out of Indiana we are better off without you.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Glad you wrote that about Calle Ocho. I actually almost made the mistake of listing Calle Ocho in the places you don’t want to go…but then realized I didn’t really have any personal basis for doing so and that I’d always really enjoyed every time I went there. The Latin influence and culture is one of the greatest things about Miami and if you really want to get the full effect of the trip, that is definitely a good place to go.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Haha…lock your doors. It’s amazing how much that difference alone highlights the difference between Bloomington and Miami. I’m not sure I locked my door once in college, and never got anything stolen. In Miami? I actually had pretty good fortune, although I did have stuff stolen off of my car and had plenty of friends who were not so lucky. Yes…definitely lock your doors.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Yeah, I was. You know, it did suck in a lot of ways, but I found it at the perfect time in my life where I actually enjoyed it, made some good friends, and had some fun. Like most people, I ultimately burnt out, but it’s not quite as BAD as it’s cracked up to be. If you’re looking at is as a career? Probably not a smart move. To make some money, build some leadership skills, and really get to experience a community, it is actually a pretty damn useful gig…(short-term)
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Never played either…guess I should have looked into a bit more! Thanks for nerding out. Someone needs to keep us honest around here.
http://twitter.com/scottejordan @scottejordan

I've lived 10 years of my life each in Indianapolis and Clearwater, FL, and another 5 and a half in Miami. My mom went to IU during the Knight days (swears by Mother Bear's) and my Dad went to Purdue around the same time (swears by Triple XXX, Arni's, and the original Frozen Custard). My family has always taken great pride in finding great local eats, and when I came to school at the University of Miami, I set a a goal to find the absolute best food in Miami. I live across the street from the original Shorty's in Pinecrest (there isn't one in Kendall), but anyone from the midwest knows BBQ much better than anyone from Miami, so the line consistently out in front of Shorty's isn't exactly the best indicator of quality. I know a lot of people love it, but if you're going to eat at a Miami restaurant, there are so many others to choose from.

First, the only pizza my family likes better than anywhere else in the world (including Naples, Italy; NY; Chicago; Mother bears, or Arni's), is Miami's Best Pizza in Coral Gables. I didn't discover the wonder of this place until a couple years into undergrad at UM, but it has since become an unhealthy addiction. I'll put their pepperoni pie up against any other pizza (including Pizza Rustica on South Beach, Frankie's on Bird, or Casola's in Viscaya). Plus it's right across the street from UM and closer to downtown than Shorty's.

Also, I would make an effort to hit at least one Cuban restaurant to get a real taste of Miami. Versaille's on Calle Ocho is the old standby, but Havana Harry's is probably a bit less "authentic." Both serve EXCELLENT food. A word of advice–stay away from Cuban sandwiches while you're here. They were invented in Tampa and aren't authentic Cuban food.

Finally the best bar in Miami isn't on South Beach or in the Grove. Finnegan's on the River in Brickell has a great view (the bar hangs off the seawall over the Miami River), good prices, and a decent location–walking distance from the oldest bar in Miami–Tobacco Road, as well as Transit Lounge and Mary Brickell Village. There really isn't any reason to go anywhere else–South Beach is too expensive, and Coconut Grove will be overrun with UM students anyway Thursday-Saturday.

A word on the "rough neighborhoods." I go to school in the heart of Overtown at UM Med. It's not as bad as it used to be, but still avoid it. There isn't any reason to venture through anyway.
http://twitter.com/scottejordan @scottejordan

Forgot to add, the Front Porch Cafe on Ocean Drive and 14th St. on South Beach has the best breakfast ANYWHERE. If you’re staying on the beach it is a MUST.
miamigrrl

I don’t get why any tourist would go to those places you mentioned anyways. Every city has its bad neighborhoods. You didn’t mention one of the best places to stroll, eat, drink, shop and people-watch: Lincoln Road on South Beach. I would stay away from Coconut Grove because it really is past its prime (as a previous poster said) and if you don’t know how to drive in and out of there you’ll end up in a very ugly part of town.

I also recommend taking a drive down Old Cutler Road and visiting Fairchild Tropical Gardens and Matheson Hammock Park. Some great attractions include Bill Bags State Park (Cape Florida Lighthouse) on Key Biscayne, Everglades National Park, Venetian Pool and Vizcaya.
Jeff

Um.. have you ever heard of Gary, Indiana? Murder capital of the WORLD???
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

These are some great recommendations. Thanks for sharing. Maybe it’s not technically Kendall where the original Shorty’s is…I don’t really know where the line is between Kendall and Pinecrest, but it’s right off US 1 about 20 blocks north of where my aunt lives, and she lives in Kendall. Mom grew up in Pinecrest. Will have to find out. Either way, it’s still great BBQ to me, perhaps because I’ve been eating it every time I go to Miami for as long as I can remember.

Thanks for all of the recommendations Scott. Will have to try them out next time I’m down there.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Gary is a part of Chicago. It is "Indiana" by technicality only.
Jeff

I will give you that. Gary is basically Chicago but it is still in Indiana. Indianapolis does have some bad parts but I’m sure nothing compared to parts of Miami. Of course there is always Terre Haute… it’s a crime and drug infested town. There is a reason Bloomington did not want I-69. They wanted to keep all of the drugs in Terre Haute and away from them.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Good point Jeff.
Jeff

Yes.. and being that I grew up in Terre Haute I figure I can make it just about anywhere.
Matt

"Indianapolis, remains a fair-weather, fake, second rate professional sports town. Indy fans can’t create traditions of their own so they steal them from others."

The team itself is evident of this, people seem to forget the colts were stolen from B-MORE.
Jeff

No.. the Colts chose to from Baltimore to Indianapolis.

Do you consider the Indy 500 to be stolen from another town?
Matt

The team may have chosen to move, but they stole the Baltimore Colts history. The Browns moved to Baltimore, but Cleveland was able to keep it’s team history.
Juicey Brucey

UM Graduate, Worked at Jackson Memorial Hospital near the heart of the hood. From Fort Lauderdale originally.
South Beach is nice but expensive and overblown. Best spanish (as in Spain & some Cuban stuff) food – Las Culibrinas near Calle Ocho. Come up to the Fort Lauderdale Strip to party – very safe and reasonably priced – only 20 minutes north of Miami. Hotels are cheaper in Ft. Lauderdale also.
Have fun. Glad to see the Midwesterners coming down. Very nice salt of the earth type people.
regards,
Jay

Well I’ve been a Colts fan all of my life, been to Baltimore Colts games back in the day, driven all around the country going to Indy Colts playoff games in various years. I remember when I used to listen to the Colts on the radio and cheer for a tie. That’s how bad they were. I’m pretty sure I’m beyond a fairweather fan. However, with the shit they pulled this season I am ready to cheer for a new team.

Having lived in Florida for a year, I can concur with the clubbing statement. Clubbing in Florida is about looking firm, looking good, and looking like you have money to burn. There are definitely some nice people and interesting personalities in Florida, but the violent crime rate is stupidly high. My other pet peeve is people crank the air conditioners to 60 degrees in every building, making it seem like an oven when you go outside. Also…don’t be stupid at the beach. People drown and get carried out to sea by the riptides almost every other day it seems.
Matthew

The Colts have been to the Superbowl with Indy as many times as with Baltimore; have been to more post season games as Indy, and have won more playoff games as Indy. Not to mention that INDY’s QB has more MVP awards than any other QB in NFL history. You could be upset that Baltimore lost their team; but they are anything but 2nd rate.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

Even, I accept your honest response to the column. In many ways it is probably warranted. And you would not be the first to hurl the "huge douche" insult my way, and I'm a big boy so I can take it.

The fact of the matter is that anyone who knows me knows that I am about as a proud a native of Indiana as there is. I do enjoy poking some tongue-in-cheek fun at my home state from time to time, but you have to understand that I don't really exclude myself from any of the "criticism".

There is a huge difference between Indianapolis and Miami, once that I didn't fully appreciate until I lived there. It doesn't make one better than the other, but I can say that after two years in Miami I ended up back in Indianapolis and never felt more at home. I love the weather, the people, and atmosphere in Indiana. And that's made the juxtaposition of Hoosiers in Miami such an appealing column topic.

I appreciate that not everyone gets my often sarcastic humor, nor does everyone understand the inside jokes I share with friends that often end up in these posts, so I don't take your comment personally. In fact, I'm glad you're sticking up for Hoosiers everywhere, and I'm sure if we sat down and had a beer you wouldn't be quite so quick to excommunicate me from the place that will always be my home. (Even if you don't care for my jokes.)

Hopefully I didn't turn you off so bad that you don't return our site. I appreciate honest comments and reactions, so thanks for providing one. Enjoy Indy…it's a great city with great people. Sheltered and dorky compared to Miami? Yes. Spoiled by a football team that fans in Cleveland, for instance, deserve more? Yes. But I'm sure I'll end up moving back someday…so perhaps in the end, the joke's on me, huh?
http://twitter.com/scottejordan @scottejordan

I've lived 10 years of my life each in Indianapolis and Clearwater, FL, and another 5 and a half in Miami. My mom went to IU during the Knight days (swears by Mother Bear's) and my Dad went to Purdue around the same time (swears by Triple XXX, Arni's, and the original Frozen Custard). My family has always taken great pride in finding great local eats, and when I came to school at the University of Miami, I set a a goal to find the absolute best food in Miami. I live across the street from the original Shorty's in Pinecrest (there isn't one in Kendall), but anyone from the midwest knows BBQ much better than anyone from Miami, so the line consistently out in front of Shorty's isn't exactly the best indicator of quality. I know a lot of people love it, but if you're going to eat at a Miami restaurant, there are so many others to choose from.

First, the only pizza my family likes better than anywhere else in the world (including Naples, Italy; NY; Chicago; Mother bears, or Arni's), is Miami's Best Pizza in Coral Gables. I didn't discover the wonder of this place until a couple years into undergrad at UM, but it has since become an unhealthy addiction. I'll put their pepperoni pie up against any other pizza (including Pizza Rustica on South Beach, Frankie's on Bird, or Casola's in Viscaya). Plus it's right across the street from UM and closer to downtown than Shorty's.

Also, I would make an effort to hit at least one Cuban restaurant to get a real taste of Miami. Versaille's on Calle Ocho is the old standby, but Havana Harry's is probably a bit less "authentic." Both serve EXCELLENT food. A word of advice–stay away from Cuban sandwiches while you're here. They were invented in Tampa and aren't authentic Cuban food.

Finally the best bar in Miami isn't on South Beach or in the Grove. Finnegan's on the River in Brickell has a great view (the bar hangs off the seawall over the Miami River), good prices, and a decent location–walking distance from the oldest bar in Miami–Tobacco Road, as well as Transit Lounge and Mary Brickell Village. There really isn't any reason to go anywhere else–South Beach is too expensive, and Coconut Grove will be overrun with UM students anyway Thursday-Saturday.

A word on the "rough neighborhoods." I go to school in the heart of Overtown at UM Med. It's not as bad as it used to be, but still avoid it. There isn't any reason to venture through anyway.
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steve

Bwhahahahah….a Miami fan calling Colts fan fair weather. Miami is the biggest joke sports city in the U.S. Hell, at least L.A. can support the Lakers and Dodgers.
http://intensedebate.com/people/KVB KVB

I lived on the Beach and in Coconut Grove totaling over 6 years, so a South Beach recommendation as I avoid work on a Friday.

The Big Pink (restaurant) on 2nd and Collins. Across the street from a club. Around the corner from it is a great sports/dive bar called Ted’s Hideaway. Anyway back to The Big Pink, great food. Kind of expensive but made from fresh product, good made from scratch recipes, and huge portions. Open late. Breakfast always served. Sports on TVs inside, outdoor sidewalk seating as well. The best made from scratch corned beef hash I have EVER had. Full bar inside if you feel like a bloody mary or whatever.
Cindy

We are no longer Pacer fans not because they aren’t winning, but because we are embarrassed that the players are nothing but a bunch of thugs! Unlike other places, Hoosiers do not pride themselves on their criminal activity.

BTW…this article makes you sound like a complete idiot. Do us a favor and don’t return to Indiana anytime soon.
Cindy

I believe New Orleans now holds that title.
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

You will get no argument from me there. Miami fans are worse than Colts fans. I was shocked by the fan support when I lived there. Talk about fair-weather and front-running.
http://intensedebate.com/people/KVB KVB

Completely true. Only difference is if there is a bad product on the field, diamond, or court, it is way too easy to enjoy some other form of entertainment in Miami. Beaches, babes, sunshine, fishing, boating, Key West road trips, fashion mall shopping, art festivals, outdoor music festivals…the list goes on and on.

"Hey wanna go to a Pacers game tonight they have tickets available?"

"No I would rather sit on my hands and rip Polian for not going for a perfect season."
Lauren

If you’re going to Miami for the big game, Rum Bum’s got a list of the biggest Super Bowl parties. http://rumbum.com/707-miami-heats-up-for-the-supe...
JEFFSUCKS

another retarded comment (that barely makes sense) from Jeff…

The Colts chose to move to Arizona, who pulled their offer after your owner made an ass of himself on TV (drunk at the airport); leaving Indy as the only bidder. NO ONE in the organization was excited to go there. Additionally, the move was made out of spite, and decided by one man. It was not as if a bunch of crappy football players petitioned to move the team to where people rock jean shorts and NASCAR clothes year round.
http://twitter.com/RyanSRussell @RyanSRussell

Mr. Farnborger,

I love your name. More specifically, I love making anagrams out of it. Did you know that Donald Farnborger can be rearranged to spell: Bad Flan – Dong Error!?!

I just wanted to know if you have an "arranged blonde fro", because that is ALSO and anagram of your name.

And lastly, if you are admittedly, "not big sports fan", how did you get to http://www.midwestsportsfans.com? Personally, I found your comment about New York looking like Disneyworld *smacks* of smugness, & comes off more like you're trying to brag how *hard* and *street smart* you are instead of giving real advice on what Jerod should write.

p.s.

Why don't they teach English in Indiana?
http://twitter.com/RyanSRussell @RyanSRussell

Gary is the murder capitol of Indiana. The state if Indiana is not the world. You need to get out more. The murder capitol of the WORLD, is not in the united states, thankfully. As far as murder rates, I found this:

http://www.faqs.org/shareranks/994,Highest-Murder...

1) Chicago
2) New Orleas
3) MIAMI, FLORIDA

Gary didnt even crack the top 10, hardass.
Kenny Powers

Small rural towns exist everywhere, not just Indiana. What you don’t get is that this article paints the entire state as a bunch of naive farm boys or hillbillies. This is not the image of the state you should be projecting out to the world. I grew up in Indianapolis, and I can tell you there are areas in Indy you would NEVER want to visit either. This article was also full of douchbag stereotypes, building on the hillbilly stereotypes already perpetuated by the main stream media. The fact is, the people of Indiana have been trying to very hard to shed this unfair and negative stereotype, but morons like you are trashing a great place to live in the service of personal online popularity. There are more ignorant morons in FL than IN by far. Thanks for trashing my home state’s image. Think before you write next time.
Steve-O

Let me sum up your arguement. Indiana = Morons, Maimi = super awesome hard-asses. Don’t forget you fall into the first category, douche bag. I’m from Indiana, but now live in Colorado and haven’t been anything but a Colts fan since I was a kid, over 20 years. I know a lot of people who are the same way.

Take your advice on down to Liberty City, I’m sure they’ll be impressed with your telling those Indy fans how much more awesome Miami is, that is after you’re finished remembering the time when the Dolphins were better than mediocre.
http://intensedebate.com/people/KVB KVB

Cindy it is not 2005. Get a clue (or watch a game this year). That was an excuse you could have used years ago but not anymore. Gone are the days of O’Neal, Artest, Stephen Jackson, etc. they were all unloaded after proving they couldn’t be stand-up guys off of the court. They still have guys like Granger, Dunleavy and Foster who are great for the community. The organization has a good new coach and have made the effort to clean up their style but you have not noticed because they are not winning. Sorry the truth hurts so much.
jordan

SHORTY’S is ONE BLOCK FROM KENDALL. Would NOT call it Pinecrest area!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://twitter.com/RyanSRussell @RyanSRussell

even real die hard colts fans are beginning to consider abandoning them. All because f the stink tha indiana put on the franchise…
http://flashsportstonight.com Aaron Bollinger

Time for you Hoosiers to tame your tan lines :-) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haulover_Park
thomas

i too have literally never heard of the miami hurricanes
Jeff

My point was Gary, Indiana is much worse then Miami. Not to mention I am pretty sure Gary, Indiana used to be much worse then it is today.
Jeff’s Daddy

HELLO? read my comment!

Gary is not much worse than Miami.

Its not even a little bit worse.

Your point is wrong.

…keep on making it, though. :)
Stevie Janowski

I am thinking before I write this.

I lived in indy, too. I don’t follow the mainstream media. The hillbilly stereotypes are ALL TRUE.
NIcholasGErlach

He only mentioned three areas to stay out of in Miami. And everyone from Miami so far has agreed with his recommendations. Wouldn’t you tell people not to hang out in Haughville when they visit Indy for the Super Bowl? Colts fans need to relax.
eileen

last colts super bowl we had ablast at cafe igaunas , pembrook pines with wqam . best colts fans in the world were their yeah go colts.
Indiana Sport Fan

Yawn, when does March Madness start?
http://intensedebate.com/people/JerodMSF JerodMSF

It started last night for me. Great IU-Purdue game. Hoosiers win that game next year but too inexperienced not to shit the bed right now.
Pingback: The Pre-Pro Bowl Link Dump | Just Blog Baby | An Oakland Raiders Blog
Ralph

I got a tip for you Colts fans stay home cause you guys suck and are going to lose anyways!

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