Just came across Mike Florio’s recent 10-Pack at SportingNews.com.
In this week’s edition he analyzes the ten immediate actions that Mike Holmgren should take in his effort to turn around the Browns. While most of the suggestions are fairly solid and well-reasoned (especially the “Pay Josh Cribbs” one!), this one almost made me fall out of my chair:
Under the heading “Hire Mangini’s Replacement” Florida writes the following:
One obvious candidate is Jim Mora, who might be out in Seattle, depending on who the team’s next general manager is.
If Holmgren hopes to have an active role in the Xs and Os, Jim Zorn makes sense, too. He has experience in the top job, and he’d surely defer to any guidance or suggestions Holmgren might make.
Of course, if Holmgren really wants to get involved, he can coach the team himself, something he has not yet ruled out.
Yes, like many other Browns fans reading this, I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I read that.
Jim Mora has done so poorly in his first season with the Seahawks (replacing Holmgren) that he might be ousted when the Seahawks hire a new GM. Whoo-hoo!
Jim Zorn has done so poorly during his two seasons in Washington that his power has been all but completely usurped and the Redskins’ owner is galavanting about town courting Mike Shanahan. Whoo-hoo!
And Mike Holmgren once was a very successful coach, but got burnt out in Seattle and has now reached an age when many coaches who were formerly successful struggle to climb the mountain again. Whoo-hoo!
So, as far as I’m concerned, Florio went 0-3 in offering potential head coach choices that would inspire me to be hopeful. Then, after I tweeted about this article, someone I respect sent me a direct message on Twitter that said the following:
At least he didn’t throw out Morninwheg like everyone else. I’ll be really ticked if that’s the direction Holmgren goes.
You remember Marty Morninwheg right? Yes, that Marty Morninwheg who somehow made the Detroit Lions worse and whose claim to fame is winning the toss in overtime and deciding to kick.
Brilliant.
I think I need some Pepto Bismol quickly or I’m going hurl all over my computer.
So, to recap, here are the names that I’ve read as being potential head coach candidates in the Cleveland next year:
- Jim Mora (failure in Seattle)
- Jim Zorn (failure in Washington)
- Mike Holmgren (failure his last season in Seattle and now older)
- Marty Morninwheg (failure in life for kicking in OT)
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to being a Cleveland Browns fan…where hope springs eternal!
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* – Jim Zorn photo credit: Taylor-Made Tirade
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