The excerpt that follows is, unquestionably, the line of the day today in sports writing. It might be the line of the week…the month…or perhaps even the year. But lest hyperbole get the best of me and defeat the genius of time and perspective, I’ll stick with simply calling it the line of the day.
Either way, it is equal parts perfect analogy and terrifically funny.
And it involves mocking Curtis Painter. Brilliant!
From Jason Whitlock’s column today at FoxSports:
Knocking boots with Beyonce has never been one of my goals, but if presented the opportunity, you best believe I won’t labor through 20 minutes of foreplay and signal for Curtis Painter to finish the job.
The line obviously comes during the course of taking Bill Polian and Jim Caldwell to task for resting starters during last Sunday’s loss to the Jets. The crux of Whitlock’s argument is that the Colts very well might have lost their edge by removing the burden of victory from the players, since Polian and Caldwell will now be the ones blamed if and when the Colts do not win the Super Bowl.
I don’t know that I totally buy into Whitlock’s theory, but it certainly has some validity. And though Colts’ fans reacted stupidly, I share their general disagreement with the decision.
But amidst all of this arguing, one thing is for certain: Curtis Painter should never be signaled to finish the job, whether in bed or on the football field. I think we can all agree on that.
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* – Jason Whitlock photo credit: John Clay’s Sidelines
About Jerod Morris
