Top 10 Most Likely Candidates to be the Next GM of the Cleveland Browns

In case you have not heard, George Kokinis was fired yesterday from his role as GM (General Mute) of the Cleveland Browns.

He had been on the job for less than a year and was reportedly at odds with head coach Eric Mangini as early as training camp. Rumors have since swirled that former Colts, Browns, and Giants GM Ernie Accorsi will be hired by Browns owner Randy Lerner soon.

We here at Midwest Sports Fans, however, are not so sure. Accorsi is a GM with a pretty successful track record and his hiring would almost seem to be too logical and sound a choice for the Browns.

So we put together top 10 list of candidates who – based on the Browns moribund history since being reinstated in 1999 -are probably more likely to be named General Manager than a former Super Bowl architect.

10 – George Kokinis, former Browns GM

That’s right, Kokinis. I know it sounds strange, but Randy Lerner went against the grain this offseason in hiring Eric Mangini less than ten days after Mangini was fired by the Jets. Before you pooh-pooh this one as being ridiculous and totally outlandish, ask yourself: would you really be 100% surprised?

This is, after all, the Browns we’re talking about here.

9 – LeBron James, Global Icon

Right now the Browns are bringing nothing but despair and embarrassment to the city of Cleveland. In this sense, they are much like the Indians. The Cavs, however, and their hometown superstar, are the one positive sports story the city has to grasp onto.

Until LeBron bolts for the East Coast.

Why not sweeten the Cleveland pot by giving him a the GM position with the Browns? He was a good football player in high school and could ultimately pull an MJ by coming down from the owner’s box and suiting up. Then the Browns would actually have an NFL-caliber receiver.

8 – Ryan Russell, Browns Fan Extraordinaire

You know Ryan from his work here at MSF. If you were at the Cavs’ game on Halloween night, you also know him from his incredible Eric Mangini costume, as chronicled briefly in the video below:

Clearly Ryan and Mangini would be on the same page when it comes to player fines. That’s a start.

7 – Gregg Williams, current Defensive Coordinator of the New Orleans Saints

Williams may not have credentials to be a GM, but that’s never stopped the Browns from hiring people before.

Actually, I propose Williams be named GM / Offensive Coordinator. Sounds strange, right? But think about this: the Saints’ defense has actually scored six touchdowns this season, whereas the Browns’ offense has only scored five. The numbers speak for themselves.

6 – Krayzie Bone, rapper and Cleveland native

You know Krayzie Bone from his work with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and his subsequent productions as a solo artist. He is also a native of Cleveland who understands the longtime suffering of Browns fans.

Plus, rumors out of Cleveland suggest that Defensive Coordinator Rob Ryan is sick of being the only person referred to as “crazy” around the office. It’s not that he is offended, he’s just ready for a new nickname. Having Krayzie Bone around would give Ryan a chance to be referred to as “wacko”, “crazy man”, and his own personal favorite phrase: “$&@$!“.

5 – John Elway, Browns Dream Denyer

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

John Elway always seemed to dash Cleveland’s Super Bowl hopes back during the time many, many eons ago when the franchise was competitive. Perhaps he can sprinkle some of his Elway Dust in Berea and reverse the obvious curse that has haunted the franchise since its return.

Sure, it might make the older generation of Browns fans wretch, but wouldn’t everyone get over it if the team made the playoffs? Most every Browns fan I know would sell their souls to the Devil himself for a playoff run. Hiring John Elway would be close, but not quite that bad.

4 – Doc Brown, Inventor

Does the phrase 1.21 gigowatts mean anything to you?

If you’re a Browns fan it should, because imagine all the great things that could be done with Doc Brown as GM and his magic Delorean at the organization’s disposal.

• Go back to 1965 and convince Jim Brown to play another couple of years, thus making more championships possible during the early years of the franchise.
• Go back to 1987 and have someone grab and twist John Elway’s ankle in the middle of the 4th quarter. We wouldn’t want to injure him seriously (well…) but enough so that he couldn’t engineer the famous game-winning drive that haunts the Browns to this day.
• Go back to 1988 and convince Earnest Byner to protect the ball a little bit better.
• Go back to 1999 and draft any of the following instead of Tim Couch: Donovan McNabb, Edgerrin James, Ricky Williams, Torry Holt, Champ Bailey, Andy Katzenmoyer…wait, scratch the last one.
• Go back to the 2008 offseason and not hire George Kokinis…thus rendering his firing yesterday impossible…thus rendering the hiring of Doc Brown impossible…thus erasing all of the previously changed events…thus restoring all of the unhappy memories that define Browns football.

Damnit! We were so close.

3 – Derek Anderson, current Browns starting QB

Think about it: if Anderson has to take over the GM duties, then he can’t play quarterback. We would then be spared from having to watch the only QB in the NFL playing worse than JaMarcus Russell.

The fact there is even a QB playing worse than JaMarcus Russell is mind-boggling…and depressing. And who knows, Mangini might still keep Anderson out there anyway.

Scratch this one. Anderson would probably just give his responsibilities to someone in an opposing franchise anyway…kind of like what he does with the football on a weekly basis.

2 – Jon Gruden, Super Bowl winning coach and Monday Night Football announcer

Have you ever heard this guy say anything negative about anyone on Monday night? In fact, have you ever heard this guy refer to anyone as anything other than a great player or a genius?

I can’t wait to hear what this guy has to say Browns players next week when Cleveland plays Baltimore on Monday Night Football.

On Derek Anderson: “This guy, he’s just an excellent quarterback. He has size, he has a rocket arm, and he’s a guy you can build a winning football team around.”

On Eric Mangini: “This guy, I tell you what, I’ve watched film with him before and he’s a coaching genius. We need to get more press for this guy and get him some Coach of the Year votes.”

I mean, this guy, Jon Gruden, he’s taken to his new position as an announcer and just done a great job. He’s an announcing genius. Not to mention a coaching genius.

Imagine bringing him in as GM. Surely his strategy of positive reinforcement would come with him once he has another NFL job. Hmm…on second thought…

1 – Cleveland Brown, star of The Cleveland Show

The Browns have won only one more game this season than a bunch of cartoon football players would have won, so why not hire a cartoon character to lead the organization? And could his name be any more perfect?

Honestly, this is a match made in Berea.

And from the underwhelming reviews that I’ve seen of The Cleveland Show, it might actually be FOX’s equivalent to the Browns. A perfect match!

Randy Lerner, as sad as it is to say, I think we’ve found the perfect candidate for your franchise.

Tags: Cleveland Browns, derek anderson, george kokinis, jon gruden, lebron james, NFL, randy lerner

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