Despite my displeasure with the past two weeks, I still have faith. Once we get Carlos “Little Cal Ripken” Quentin healthy and our big boppers’ warning track fly balls starting hitting the seats, and Gavin Floyd finds his nutsac again, we’ll get things turned around and be right back in the race. I’m sorry, but until we’re out by double-figures or September hits, the teams ahead of us in the AL Central don’t scare me enough to give up hope.

Plus, you know Ozzie will be energized after missing two games this weekend. Hopefully he can light a fire under our butts and we’re on a winning streak when you’re at The Cell.

(P.S. Can you get that shirtless cardboard cutout of me that you have in your room and paint an exclamation point on it and bring it to the game with you? That would really mean a lot.)

A) I will miss Hawk Harrelson saying, “Joe! Crede!” (of course, Hawk rules)

B) This could be a battle for first place on that date and time. (wrong)

C) I have to get RF bleacher seats right above the beloved “Bullpen Bar” (bought them for me and two friends, look for us in body paint spelling out “S-O-X” on our respective chests)

D) I hope Thome or AJ or both hit a dinger right at me in RF (TBD)

E) I hope we are dominating the division and we cruise past the Twinkies faster than a 1-0 play-in game (wrong)

F) I hope we are not in a slump and trying to hit our way out of a wet paper bag (correct)

Now that I am correct on “F” I…….. STILL CAN’T WAIT! GO GOOD GUYS!