And I’m back, with another edition of the Sports World Roundup.
The Amazing Pujols
Albert Pujols is the man, and our friends over at Sharapova’s Thigh wonder if this will be the mighty Pujols’ most mighty season yet.
He is certainly well on his way, and at 29 years old Albert Pujols already has hit 331 HR, surpassed 1K in RBI, and is a .334 lifetime hitter. That’s just ridiculous.
And, of course, in the wake of Manny Ramirez’s suspension for violating the anti-PED policy in baseball, every baseball fan is silently hoping to himself that nothing will ever taint the purity of Pujols’ accomplishments. ARod used to be the shining beacon of hope in the midst of baseball’s steroid thunderstorm, but he was probably miscast in that role anyway…considering he’s a douche bag.
I’ve given up hope on most current and former baseball players and stopped giving the vast majority of them any benefit of the doubt. And I don’t blame myself for not being able to withstand the force of pessimism…I blame Major League Baseball and the greed and vanity of the players.
However, one of the few guys that I remain steadfast in defending is Albert Pujols.
I just don’t see it. I believe the stories about his incredible character, and I believe the consistency of his numbers. I know that he is from the DR and that many Dominican baseball players are linked to steroids, and that there have been whispers that he may be older than he says, and that Tony LaRussa is his manager (and he still thinks Big Mac did not take steroids), and I know that Pujols was reared in the big leagues during perhaps the most rampant steroid era in the history of American sports…but I don’t care. I’m buying in.
In fact, I’m done referring to PED’s as performance-enhancing drugs. From now, I’m calling them Pujols Emulation Drugs. Albert Pujols is the standard by which all other major league baseball players should be held, both on and off the field. Anyone caught using PEDs, like Manny for instance, is clearly just trying to reach Pujols’ level. But that’s the greatness of Albert Pujols: he didn’t need to use PEDs to get where he is (good Lord I hope…I really do). And while everyone else tries to emulate him and reach his level, he remains above the fray with a personal and professional integrity that makes him an anomaly in a game in which the names of miscreants (ARod, Bonds, Clemens, Pete Rose, the Black Sox, Ty Cobb, and many others) are as famous — or infamous — as the good guys (Griffey, Maddux, The Big Hurt, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, and many others).
So there is my newly formed defense for Albert Pujols. Why would he need to take Pujols-emulating drugs? He is already the mighty Pujols. And his quiet excellence, leadership, and integrity are what players need to emulate, rather than cheating by taking drugs to try to emulate his numbers.
The Amazing Rockets
Who the hell would have thought that Houston would go 2-1 against the Lakers after Yao Ming went out with an injury?
Bill Simmons famously coined the term “Ewing Theory” (after getting it from his friend) to describe a team that ascends to greater heights without a superstar than it did with him, but has there ever been a case of a team flying this much higher after losing two superstars? The NBA is supposed to be a league in which wins, losses, and playoff success hinge on the performance of superstar players. Yet the Rockets are defying the odds and have forced a Game 7 against the mighty Lakers. We should probably wait to see if they actually win Game 7 before coining the “Yaogrady Theory” or the “McMing Theory”, but the Rockets have certainly done enough already to overcome what was expected of them.
The Predictable White Sox
Last year after 33 games the Chicago White Sox were 15-18 and Mark Buehrle was the loser of game 33. The offense sucked, there were questions surrounding the pitching staff, but the bullpen had been solid. Once the weather heated up, so did the White Sox bats, and they ultimately won the AL Central.
This year after 33 games the Chicago White Sox are 15-18 and Mark Buehrle was the loser of game 33. The offense sucks, there are questions surrounding the pitching staff, but the bullpen has been solid. Now, as the weather heats up…?
Stay calm White Sox fans. I’ve been as frustrated as anyone, and we really are playing like absolute hor$e$hit right now, but we are built on the long ball again this year, and our aging bats don’t usually heat up until the weather does. And the AL Central is only one good week away from being ours again.
At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.
The Hilarious Internet
A couple of really funny links for your viewing pleasure:
The Insufferable Brett Favre
Brett Favre went to see Dr. James Andrews. I know this because Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen reported it, but also because it is another sign that Favre might play in 2009 despite all of his statements to the contrary. All things being equal, I wouldn’t mind seeing Brett Favre play again. He’s the only quarterback in the league with the potential to throw 5 TDs or 5 INTs (or both perhaps) on any given Sunday. There is an inherent excitement in that.
But just say one way or the other and stop all of the charades and games. Seriously. The next thing you know, Favre will be posing for pictures like this one.
The Insane Chad Johnson…err, Chad Ochocinco
It’s official: Chad Johnson can officially put Ochocinco on the back of his jersey. The guys who do the morning radio show on 1310 The Ticket here in Dallas always point out examples of how close our society is to becoming like the dumbed-down future society predicted by the movie Idiocracy. This is yet another example.
And finally, some random pics of a gorgeous and sexy woman: here, here, and here. And then a video that is, well, pretty irresistible.
Have a great day everyone. Be back later.
About Jerod Morris
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